There were very few facilities still open at the tiny airport. Luckily, one of them was a car rental place. One lone, agitated woman sat at a counter, seemingly pissed off at my interrupting her read of a woman's magazine.

"Hi, I'd like to hire a car for a week", I said to her.

"I'd never have guessed", was her heavily accented, sarcastic reply. Well...I was definitely home. "Did you pre-book?", she asked, pulling a ledger towards her.

"No, no I didn't". She sighed heavily and stared at her computer screen, glaring like having to do her job was the biggest injustice of them all.

"This won't be cheap, mind", she said eye balling me. I just shrugged.

The woman eventually found a rental for me and I stood in awkward silence as she arranged for someone to bring it over. She hung up the phone and went back to reading her magazine, leaving me to stand and play with my phone, pretending to be busy. When a man walked towards us, he handed me a set of keys per her grunt and showed me out to the car.

The car was a white VW golf and I sighed inwardly as how white trash or as the natives would call it – chavy - this car made me feel. I smiled at the man as he helped me with my bags and reached in my purse to tip him but he had already headed back to the car waiting to take him back to whatever depot he arrived from. I forgot that tipping wasn't really a thing over here. I had been away far too long.

As I pulled out of the airport car park I almost caused a head on collision from veering over to the wrong side of the road. I really hadn't been prepared for this. I fumbled with the radio station to calm my shaking hands. Driving manual was also somewhat of a frustration and took me ten minutes to get the hang of it again

I drove home slightly faster than I should of but only broke the speed limit once or twice. It was nice to be driving out of a city and not stuck in 2 hour traffic at 8pm. Not to mention how light it still was outside. The sun set at almost the same time of day through out the year in LA. Seasons were a welcome relief.

Around 40 minutes later, I pulled into my street and found a space to park. I just stared at my home. The home I had lived in for almost 10 years before I left for LA. I almost felt like crying but still wasn't quite sure I was really here.

I left my suitcase in the car, not really bothered with much in it and headed for my garden. Two grey cats ran out to great me but then stopped, unsure of the person. "Theo", I called out to one and in recognising my voice, it bounded over to be picked up. They were so spoilt. I carried the cat through the door, dropping it down in the kitchen.

"Becca, is that you?", my Mam called out from her bedroom.

"No it's me", I shouted back. There was silence then the sound of someone quickly getting off a bed.

My Mam rushed into the kitchen/ dining room and just stared at me a moment before pulling me into a hug. I felt my eyes well up and a lump for in my throat but I blinked back the tears as I held onto my mother for the first time in a year. God I had missed her.

"What are you doing here?", she asked, her voice a mix of confusion and happiness.

I shrugged at her, "I just...needed a break". And that was the thing I loved the most about her - she didn't press the issue, just nodded and put the kettle on. She knew I would talk to her eventually.

But for now, I was home, at my table and my mother was making me a cup of tea.

Later that evening I dragged my exhausted body upstairs to my tiny little bedroom I had lived in for 7 years. It felt so comforting looking at the room that had hardly changed in the past 2 years since I had left it. Photos of my friends and my travels were still pinned to the wall, as well as the various postcards I had collected from towns and cities I had visited. Back when it was still exciting and rare to travel.

I loaded up my laptop and tried to work out the time difference between here and New York. As Skype set itself up I noticed the three people I needed to call were fortunately online. I started with the easiest first, Callum, telling him I needed a break and would be home by the end of the week. He was understanding but I felt guilty that I hadn't taken him with me. I wasn't the only one who hadn't been home in a year.

As I clicked Nicks name, I breathed deeply. This would be fine. Really. We were fine. Sort of.

"Hey. Long time since we've done this", he said over the video chat.

"Tell me about it", I said which led to an awkward pause.

"Honesty, I didn't think you'd call me", he said, not looking at his laptop.

"I told you I would. But I can't meet up with you before next weekend", I said quickly.

"Work?", he guessed.

"No. I came home for a bit". I looked up at my photos again. I still referred to here as home.

"You're in Scotland?", he said, confused. I just nodded. "Needed a break?".

I'll say one thing for Nick - he knew me better than I'd like. I just shrugged, not willing to go over it - especially with how tired I was feeling. And I still had an emotionally exhausting conversation to have. I said my goodbyes and promised to meet Nick the following weekend.

I stared at the screen, half hoping Darren would sign out before I could call him. After five minutes of playing about I resigned that I would have to call him. After almost a minute of dialling, he finally answered the call. I was surprised to see he was mid-flight. Technology these days.

"Hey", he said, avoiding the screen. He pursed his lips together and folded his arms across his chest.

He was angry; not that I could blame him really.

"Hi. I take it you got my note?", I asked.

"Your note? Yes, Emma, I got your note". Silence. Damn he was not making this easy.

"I'm sorry I just...I decided to get a different flight", I finished lamely.

"What, and you couldn't wait a few more hours to fly back to LA with me?", he asked, not staring at the screen.

"Yeah, um, I didn't fly to LA", I said quietly but Darren's head snapped up to the screen.

"Where the hell did you go?", he asked, nothing but worry now.

"I just came home for a bit. Needed to spend time with my family. It's been too long", I said, shrugging.

He was quiet for a moment before asking, "Was this weekend really that bad?". I looked up and felt butterfly's in my stomach as I looked into his light hazel eyes.

"No. No it wasn't. I just - I need some time. I feel like I'm constantly becoming this person I'm trying so hard not to be. This bitch who plays with everyone around her. I just need some time with people who know me as just me. Who wouldn't ever see me as anything but Emma". I took a deep breath. That was a hell of a lot of rambling but as I said it, I realised it was true. I was becoming someone almost unrecognisable and I needed to just remember what it was like before the move.

Maybe then I would be grateful for the things - and people - that were in my life.

"I...I don't even know what to say to that", Darren responded. I shrugged.

"I suppose there's not really anything to say". I avoided looking at him but still noticed he was doing likewise. "Um...I better go. It's been a pretty long day", I said to him eventually.

"Oh, yeah sure. I - I guess I'll see you at work then?", he said. I desperately tried to ignore the hurt look he was now wearing.

"Yeah, I'll see you", I said and quickly hung up, not waiting for a response. Part of me didn't understand why I was pushing him away. But honestly? He had become one of my best friends in the short 2 months I had known him. And I knew what it was like to date and then lose someone you cared deeply for. I wasn't willing to go through all that again.