Too Much Love Will Kill You

14 – Useful spells and useless body

On the day after, Severus brought Lorena back to the Dark Arts classroom, without a word, his hand holding her again by her wrist in a firm grip. Once there, he cast a locking charm and a silencing spell on the door and room so that they could practice together without being disturbed.

She was dressed in a black dress, with her school robe above. She gathered his purpose and got her wand out, ready for practice. He made her work all the spells she may know, forbidding her to use her psychokinetic abilities. She complied, with him blocking her spells. He just wanted to check the extent of her knowledge. Lorena made an effort to comply but this required extra concentration as her particular abilities were a second nature to her.

After about fifteen minutes spent as such, they had a break. It was not easy for Lorena as she heavily relied on her psychokinetic abilities, compensating her blindness that way. She flopped in one of the chairs in the classroom. A few pearls of sweat glittered on her forefront, witnessing of the concentration she had put in the drill.

"We haven't finished, Miss Nottingham. I want to teach something very useful in some instances. Get up !"

Lorena got to her feet. She did not want to show him she was a bit drained though. "Yes, sir," she said with a submissive tone meant to disarm any possible nasty remark from him.

"Have you already heard about Patronuses ?"

She remembered to have read something about it or heard the older students talk about it in the Slytherin common room. "Vaguely. I remember it has something to do with animals."

"Well, in sort of. The Patronus Charm is the spell that allows you to project an image similar to a ghost, that has various uses. Mainly two : to send messages or guide ; to defend yourself against Dementors. To cast the spell, you have to focus on the happiest memories you have in yourself. This is quite advanced magic but I think your magic should be powerful enough to produce a Patronus."

Lorena was puzzled. If the Patronus Charm was essentially something visual, that would be difficult for her to see the outcome… Has he realized that ?

"Alright," she said. "I'm ready."

Severus had realized that indeed. "I know you're blind. But that should not prevent you from doing it. The incantation is 'Expecto Patronum'. There's no specific wand waving movement. Only the focus is important. Focus your magic on your happiest memories."

Her happiest memories… Yes, she had some. Lorena remembered when she had played in trio with her parents. It had been great. Mother on harp, father on celesta, herself on violin. She could still hear the piece they had played, something very sweet. "Yes, I have some in stock," she said with a smile.

She drew her wand out and cast the spell, thinking of the lovely memory she had thought of. However, due to the nature of the spell itself, nothing happened. Not a sound. "What happened ?"

"Some silvery smoke got out of your wand. That's a beginning. But the purpose is to manage to form what is called a corporeal Patronus. The silvery smoke is to have the shape of an animal, an animal that means a lot to you or is a reflect of your personality. Have you ever had a familiar in the past ?"

Lorena said nothing. She did not consider spiders, ants and snakes as familiars, even if she could communicate with them somehow. "No, sir."

"Try again. Maybe the memory you used was not happy enough."

She was troubled by his remark. Not completely false however. She had conjured up a happy memory but now, thinking of it, it had left a sad taste in her mind. That memory belonged to a time of happiness that would never come back. "Can we combine several memories, sir ?"

"Yes, you may do that. It can be a general feeling too, not a particular memory. Go on."

"Just one question, Professor. Please."

Severus wanted to sigh but refrained from doing so. The girl had a very acute hearing. "Yes, Miss Nottingham ?"

"What is your Patronus ?"

He was taken aback by her question – though it was not entirely unexpected. "A doe," he just replied. "Now, your turn."

Lorena felt he would not let her go further in his explanation. She focused on the general feeling of elation she had when playing music, when she was in nature, when… when she remembered the male body that had crushed hers on that dreadful morning, when she had become blind. His male scent, his silky voice, his soft fingers dabbing her tears, his comforting arms around her. She had felt safe. Was safety a happy feeling ? She was about to discover it. "Expecto Patronum !"

This time, it was better. The silvery smoke that came out of her wand took a corporeal form. A big cat leaped in the distance. Not a big cat. A tiger.

"Good, Miss Nottingham, good."

"Really ? How… how does it look like ?"

"A tiger."

Lorena decided that she would use the combination of nature, music and the memory of the man now standing by her side, to conjure up a Patronus, if needed. It seemed to work.

"I suggest you keep working on this one, to make sure you will produce it any time you may need it. Remember, it's the only way to fight off Dementors, by sending the Patronus towards them. Not that you may meet them everyday, but one never knows."

"Professor… how can I know I've managed to produce one ? I can't see it, I can't hear it, I can't touch it."

Severus understood her concern. "A much more advanced form of magic can endow a Patronus with your own voice. Yet, for the time being, you may feel it. Just keep focused on it, then drag it with your wand towards you. Your extra sensorial perception should feel it. Sit down and try."

Lorena did as told. She sat and conjured up another Patronus that went to nudge her legs. She felt something smoky or hazy nearby, against her knees. "Shame it can't purr or roar. That would have been practical."

She felt the Potions Master sitting on the chair beside her. She felt drained but still wanted to ask him something else. "Professor… May I ask you a question ?"

"Seems like I can't prevent you from doing so," he said with sarcasm.

Lorena decided to ignore his sarcastic reply. "Will you… will you teach me the Sectumsempra ?" She wanted to ask him that for quite some time but had not found the proper occasion to do so. Now was the time. They were alone. Nobody to eavesdrop on a matter they both wanted to keep secret.

Severus looked at her. She had not forgotten. "Are you sure you want to know it ? Are you aware this is… Dark Arts stuff ?"

"Yes, sir, I am. I want to." Her voice was determined. "It may be as useful a spell as a Patronus after all."

Severus' dark eyes glittered. She was not wrong. "Alright then. I'll teach you first on a dummy. There's a counter-curse I'll teach you too. Once you have them correct, we'll try them live."

He had said the last word with a detached yet dangerous tone in his voice. But Lorena did not flinch. She just stood up, ready.

Severus conjured up a dummy that would ring each time it was correctly hit. "As you cannot see me performing it, I will show you the movements differently."

He stayed beside her. "Raise your wand in front of you." She obeyed and his hand grabbed her forearm and wrist. "Like this." He positioned her arm accordingly. She felt his body against her back now, his breath on her neck and hair. Warm, he was warm, in complete contrast with the cold demeaneor he showed usually. But was this his real nature ? "Do not use your psychokinetic abilities. They shall not interfere." He still had his deep, silky, dangerous tone. Purring. Sensual. Lorena trusted him. She was not afraid of him. Contrary to most other students at Hogwarts, she had never been afraid of him, even when he gave in to his fits of wrath and violence in the Slytherin common room.

His face was just beside hers. She could feel his breath on her cheek. "Just say 'Sectumsempra'. The most detached as possible. That's the way you may convey your power to the wand."

"I want to hear you once, please, Professor, so that I can memorize it."

Severus obliged. He took his wand out and still holding her, he cast the spell. "SECTUMSEMPRA !" His deep voice sounded clear and powerful in the room. His wand crackled with a powerful light and a flow of energy hit the dummy that rang.

"You heard. Now your turn. Stay focused."

"Yes. Err… Let go of me, please, Professor."

He released her but stayed close behind her, watching her arm. She focused on herself, imagined the dummy. She had heard the previous ring and her acute hearing indicated the direction where it was located. She used her extra sensorial perception to assess the distance between her and the dummy.

She moved her wand arm in front of her, with a gesture full of determination, her pale gray gaze focused right in front of her. "Sectumsempra !" she yelled. A powerful bolt of energy went out of her wand and hit the dummy. That rang.

Severus was impressed. He was not sure that most of the students could achieve such a result the very first time, even with their full eyesight.

Silence fell between them. Lorena knew she had done fine – otherwise she would have heard his sarcasms, as he usually proceeded as such in his classroom.

Without a warning, she cast the same spell again on the dummy, just to make sure that this was not a lucky random hit. "Sectumsempra !" Her voice rose under the ceiling again, clear and determined. Again the energy flow from her wand hit the dummy that rang under the spell. She did it five or six times again, just to make sure. Each time was a hit.

Severus had to stop her eventually. He took her hand in his and led her to the dummy. "Kneel down and check your work, Miss Nottingham."

The dummy was no longer what it used to be. It was just a pile of wood, cloth and metal mingled together. "I did that ?" Lorena asked with a bit of anxiety in her voice. "Oh Merlin…"

"It does that. I let you imagine what the outcome is on a human being." He paused while she got to her feet. "Now you'll learn how to repair the damages when done to a being of blood and flesh." He directed his wand to the dummy. "Reparo !" and the dummy reconstituted itself.

"I understand why it should not be disclosed," Lorena whispered. "It rightfully belongs to the same class as the Three Unforgivables."

"I've told you this is Dark Arts stuff. And that's why you have to remain silent about this spell and use it only in case you'd find yourself in extreme danger. You'll resort to it only if your very life or that of someone else with you, is threatened. Did I make myself clear ?"

"Yes, Professor."

"It's for enemies ONLY. I trust your judgment to determine them among all the people you may know or meet."

"Yes, Professor."

"Right. Now for the counter-curse. Vulnera Sanantur, to be repeated three times in a row." He repeated her the words to be recited in a soft, deep voice that moved Lorena a lot. It was an incantation that sounded like a song, which made her think that he should sing. "Memorize it, you may need it to save your target's life – in case you got the wrong target."

Lorena repeated the incantation several times to memorize it. Then Severus did something amazing. He unbuttoned his right frock coat sleeve and rolled the white shirt sleeve under, leaving his forearm bare. He put Lorena's hand on it. "Now use it on me !"

"Oh, Professor !"

"Do it !"

Lorena swallowed. "I can't, sir. Please." She still had her hand on his forearm. The skin was soft.

"Quit being sentimental, Miss Nottingham. That is for practice's sake, Merlin ! Now do it !"

"I don't want to hurt you," she whispered. "I'll hurt you never." He would not have heard her, had he been not so close to her.

Severus wanted to mock her again but he gathered from her tone that she was deeply sincere. Her fingers were now gently stroking his forearm. He closed his eyes, wondering what her fingers could do on the rest of his body – after having raised his mental shields, so that she could not perceive his thoughts.

"I know what I'm doing. You may do it. Just a little cut. I won't die, you know. Everything's in the intention. Now do it." He had spoken very softly.

She sighed and put her wand a few inches above his arm. "Sectumsempra," she said quietly, as if she wished to give as little power to the incantation as possible. She did not wish to hurt him more than necessary. He winced, a cut comparable to a sword gash had appeared on his arm. She felt him doing so and she put her hand on his wound. Blood flowed under her fingers. Oh Merlin, what have I done ?

"Now recite the incantation, like I showed you," he said while removing her hand. Vulnera Sanantur. She did as told and this time, she was much more convincing, so that the words could really heal him. Vulnera Sanantur. The wound disappeared miraculously after the third time she had said it. Vulnera Sanantur. "Now touch my arm."

Lorena did as told and she felt that his skin was again new, as if she had never scarred him. "Oh !" she let go, deeply relieved.

"You see, there was no real fuss to be made," Severus commented sarcastically.

Lorena turned her face to him. "You may say what you wish, Professor, but you said this should be kept for my enemies only. You're not my enemy." She took a deep breath. "I could never hurt you."

Something stirred in Severus' soul – or what was left of it, according to him. Something powerful. Something he had not felt in ages. But he discarded the feeling quickly. The girl was just being good to him and yet, he wondered why.

"There's no need to continue the experience. Let's say it doesn't look as if you had managed to heal that cut out of luck."

He had just paid her a compliment. But Lorena just heard the last word. "Oh, talking about luck…" She Scourgified her hand from his blood and retrieved the medallion she had been wearing since the previous evening, from between her breasts. "I forgot to give you this back yesterday, Professor."

She was about to open the chain to remove it when Severus put his hand on her arm. "No, that's alright. Keep it on you for the time being."

Lorena was puzzled. "But it's yours, a gift from your mother ! That was kind enough from you to lend it to me yesterday."

"I know. I never said the contrary. But for the time being, just keep it."

The way he had said so, both compelling and soft, was not to be challenged. Lorena did not insist and put the medallion back under her garments, concealed between her breasts.

Severus got to his feet and helped her standing up. "It's over for the time being. Let's go back to my quarters, lunch time is soon."

Lorena said nothing, still amazed that he had let her wear the necklace. She had never worn a jewel so beautiful, so precious, so valuable. She thought about his words, the medallion being a sign of possession. Did he want to assert any feeling of his possession of hers when letting her wearing it, at least in his own sight ? They were not even lovers. She was puzzled but ask no more about it. They both retrieved their robes and went out.

After lunch, Severus went to see the Headmaster for a particular request he had in mind since he had come back from the meeting with the Dark Lord and the Death-Eaters.

Albus Dumbledore wanted to have an update too on Lorena's progress. The news were positive in this regard. "So what do you want, Severus ?"

"I'd like to spend one or two weeks in my home. Maybe more."

"Spinner's End ?"

"Yes. I'm fine here, but I need to change air and be at home."

"I thought that Hogwarts was your home."

"It is, Headmaster, it is, but there's another purpose too."

"Oh, and that is ?"

Severus sighed discreetly. "I think that I'll be more at ease to teach Occlumency to Miss Nottingham if I were there, with her. Alone."

Dumbledore watched the younger wizard carefully. Severus Snape was his Potions Master, a Dark Arts expert, his spy against Voldemort. He was aware that he was the younger man's only friend too. "Do you think you may assure her safety there too, Severus ? Hogwarts's the safest place around for her, given the circumstances."

"Yes, Headmaster. As long as I'm with her, there'll be no problem." His dark gaze locked with the old man's steely blue eyes. "Albus, please." There was almost a plea in his voice.

"I realize that I ask so much of you, my friend. Your last meeting with Voldemort had not been a very pleasant one for you, considering the condition you came back in. You need to get away indeed." He paused, pondering over his decision. "I can see that you kept in mind the goals set for you with her. Occlumency." Another pause. "If you can vouch for her safety there, that's fine by me. You may go with her if you wish. I trust your good judgment and abilities to take care of her security. I know you can deal with any kind of situations. Merlin ! I'd entrust my own life into your capable hands, Severus ! I just request that anything unusual be communicated to me at once." He retrieved an object from one of his drawers in his desk. A mirror. "I have the same here. You just look at the mirror, you call me and we can talk. Faster than owls. Safer than the Floo. Less painful than a Dark Mark."

Severus did not leap out of satisfaction for being granted his wish. He just let go a small smile – which was the equivalent of a demonstration of great joy for him. "Thank you, Albus. I'll do as you wish." He took the mirror which he put into his pocket without even a look at the strange magical artefact.

"When do you want to leave ?"

"The sooner the better. Later this afternoon."

The old man raised an eyebrow in surprise but he said nothing. The Potions Master was already by the door to leave the office. "Severus ?"

"Yes, Headmaster ?"

Dumbledore peered at him. "Do not forget Voldemort's plans for Miss Nottingham either. Better for her to be made… let's say… useless for him, thanks to someone from the Light side, if you see what I mean. She's no longer a child."

Severus glanced at the Headmaster, a quick surprise showing on his features. Albus nodded at him, as if he was giving his agreement for... The younger wizard wondered if he had understood well. But the gleam in Dumbledore's eyes was not to be mistaken. The old man was a very good Legilimens indeed.

"We're talking about one of my students, Albus !"

The old man peered at the Potions Master. His steely blue eyes were suddenly serious. "We're talking about a young virgin woman aged 17, whose very life, body and soul would be utterly shattered, ruined and destroyed if we let Voldemort have his way with her, Severus. You know it and I know it too."

Both men exchanged a look that said it all. Make her yours, the Headmaster told him with his steely blue eyes.

"I'll keep that in mind, Headmaster," he said before leaving, his black robes billowing behind him in a graceful move.

Severus thought about Albus Dumbledore's last words. The old man had alluded to the girl being made useless for the Dark Lord. He knew the plans Voldemort had in stock for her. He sighed, weighing the pros and cons. She was his student, with two extra years to be at Hogwarts. She was blind, helpless in front of the Dark Lord and the other Death-Eaters. He had the impression he would take advantage of her in an unfair fashion.

At the same time, Dumbledore was right. Better for her to be treated fair by someone from the Light side, as the Headmaster had put it – rather than by Voldemort. Severus knew that if the girl was taken by the Dark Lord, her fate would be horrendous afterwards. Once he would have taken her virginity to gain her powers, he would just let the rest of the other Death-Eaters have their share of her. Sure she was of age. She would even turn 18 next early September. Albus Dumbledore was right : she was no longer a child. She was an adult by wizarding standards. Last but not least, she looked older too, more in her early twenties then in her late teenage years.

Albus Dumbledore had clearly alluded to him as the man to make her useless for the Dark Lord. Thing was, Severus was wondering if he was the right man for her, the right man to take her. Besides, he had not had a woman in a long time. He knew he could be rough, even brutal, during sex. In any case, he was a demanding lover. He did not trust himself to be careful and gentle as a lover for a young girl's first time.

He stopped once at the top of the Astronomy Tower, one of his favorite places in the castle. He closed his eyes, imagining her fate. He could not let that happen. No. At the same time, if he made her his, he would have to hide this fact from the Dark Lord deeper than everything else… Well, so many things can happen in a high school, to a lovely young girl aged 17-18, with all the young males around… Hogwarts was a co-ed, not a convent. And it could have happened while she was in that institution for the blind too. Hormones did not care about being disabled or not after all.

Severus leaned against the balcony, taking in the view. He could not deny that he was attracted to her. But he was almost twice her age. Her professor and Head of House. She may not agree. Well, at least she doesn't hate me. There were clues however that indicated him that on the contrary, she seemed to enjoy his company. Enjoying someone's company's one thing. Having sex with them is entirely something else. He sighed. He would not mind female company and even more. He had to admit he even needed some. At 32, he was still young, even if this life as a spy had already printed its mark on him, as surely as the Dark Mark was printed on his left forearm. He had the needs and wants of a man of his age. But he could not satisfy them with a student. And even less the way he did when he got a woman he paid for this service. Which he had not done in a long time.

A student in danger. Severus thought that in the girl's best interests, he'd better be her first lover indeed. He was aware that she may enjoy his company but not wish to go all the way with him. He knew he was not an Apollon either. Well, she's blind, she can't see me. She won't ask question about the Dark Mark on my arm either. All the same. He will have to seduce her to make her his. And once I've deflowered her, what's going to happen between us ? That means I will have to tell her the whole story about the Dark Lord's plans for her. He sighed again. Oh why is it on my soul this kind of things has to befall ? My soul, Dumbledore ? What about my soul ?

He closed his eyes in front of the realization of the consequences. Yes, one day or so, someone will have to tell her the truth. That could be a good introduction. Maybe she'll just agree to me shagging her senseless after hearing the story. Maybe she won't believe me and… He wondered if going to Spinner's End with her was a good idea after all. But a sense of decency in him whispered into his mind that she had a right to know the truth indeed.

Yes, one day or so, someone will have to show her what a man is.

The bell rang two o'clock. Severus left the balcony to go back to his quarters. They had to get ready.

The Sectumsempra spell is directly inspired by the Half-Blood Prince book/movie. I also remember the DA session when Harry taught his schoolmates how to cast a Patronus Charm - it had been great watching all this and I thought it could fuel my imagination a little.

Please rate & review ! Thanks in anticipation !