Chapter 14

Yuuri POV

~~~Shin Makoku - royal bedroom~~~

Looking back, a lot of things happened. There is a lot to think about. Mastering my last exams, coming out in front of the whole school and mum, all that happened with Wolf.

It seems too much. I can´t really start to think it through. I don´t know where to start.

Wolf enters the room. After getting back and greating everyone, he did go to check up on his soldiers and duties. He also put in a training session with his elite soldiers. At least that´s what I heard from the maids.

I... Well yes, I asked them. I just wanted to make sure, he really didn´t leave the castle. Just make sure... really!

I sigh.

Wolf takes his nightgown and disappears again. He is probably going to take a bath.

... completely naked...

Uh, stop thinking of that, Yuuri! My body wants to follow him so much, but my head stops me. I said, I would give him time. I can´t just storm in there and leech onto him.

I take a deep calming breath.

Give him time... huh?

It´s so much harder, than I thought. Every time I see his porcelain taint or his red lips, I just want to jump him.

Must be the hormones. I wasn´t such an animal to begin with... Right?

But Wolf is really too sexy to cope with...

I change into my pyjama myself, lie down on the bed.

Wolf comes back. He is wearing his pink nightgown. How much would I like to push it up a little.

Woah Yuuri! Stop!

He lies down next to me.

"Do you want me to extinguish the lights?", he asks.

"Yes, please", I respond.

With a finger snip all the candles go out. It´s fascinating, really.

Wolf turns and shows me his back. His typically sleeping position.

But I would like to talk a bit more.

"Wolf, how was training?", I ask.

He sighs a little.

Does he want to sleep?

He turns to face me. But I can´t see his face in the dark.

"It was good to use my muscles once in a while. They did good altogether, but Gerald will need some endurance training".

I nod. Oh, he can´t see right?

"That... sounds good".

"Yeah!", Wolf answers.

We are silent for a while. Maybe he already fell asleep?

"Yuuri, would you like to have a picnic with Greta tomorrow? She missed us a lot. I talked to her a bit earlier", he asks suddenly.

"Of course, Wolf!", I can´t hide my excitement.

"Wimp!", he says, but it sounds like he is smiling.

"I´m not a wimp". I respond, smiling myself.

I reach out to touch Wolfs hair. I caress it softly.

Wolf sighs quietly.

"Good night, Yuuri", he says.

"Sleep well, Wolf!", I respond.

It doesn´t take me much longer to fall asleep.

~~~Shin Makoku - next morning~~~

My mind is full of thoughts, that need to be thought. I would like to talk about them with Wolf, but too much of them include him. That´s why I sought out my other confidant.

Conrad fetched me this morning for our morning run. I would have liked to wait till Wolf wakes up, but I needed this talk. After running for an hour, we settled for a bench in the gardens.

We have been sitting here for ten minutes already in complete silence.

"Conrad, I would like to talk to you for a bit", I say finally with a small voice.

He looks at me and nods, giving me a encouraging smile.

"Wolf and I... fought, when we were on Earth", I start slowly.

I stop, not knowing what I should say next. There is simply too much.

"Did you talk to resolve your fight?", he asks.

"Yes... we kind of did, actually".

"That´s good to hear".

"... Yeah...", what next?

"I said in front of the whole school, that he is my fiance", I blurt out finally.

Conrads brown eyes widen slightly. He is surprised, but seems to control his face. I suppose he knows, what it means to out oneself on Earth. We talked about this a lot. How it was strange for two guys to be together. How on Earth or at least in Japan, you couldn´t just marry another boy. How it was not respected and stuff like this. Conrad should know, what all of this means to me.

"Did you? How do you feel about it?", is what he answers.

"I... I don´t know. I feel ashamed. I feel insecure. I don´t want to meet them again, cause it´s embarrassing. But more than all of that, I´m just happy, that it made Wolf happy. You should have seen him".

"I suppose that would have been nice", he responds.

"Conrad, I need to go back to graduate. I´ll have to see them again. And every time I see one of them, they will know. I´m just happy that I already decided not go to university", I ramble on.

"So, you have come to a decision?"

"I did".

I had a lot of talks about university and stuff like that with Conrad too. But the final decision was one I made by myself. One week before starting to prepare for the exams I came to the conclusion, that I would need to decide, where I wanted to live.

There were two possibilities. I could live on Earth, go to university, get a job, a wife and children and life with them until I die. Though I wasn´t even sure, whether that would work, because of my prolonged life span. What this would also mean, was to quit being king and leave Shin Makoku and all my friends and family here. I could not part with them! Especially not Greta, Wolf and Conrad. I couldn´t bid them good bye. I did once, before I knew, that I could transport myself. I wouldn´t be able to do it again.

The other possibility was to leave Earth. I would live in Shin Makoku as a king till I retired, be together with all these people here and be able to go back to see my parents regularly. I would in time have to deal with my engagement to Wolf, Greta growing old enough to marry and go out in the world. I would have to do all the paper work every day, fight for my views, maybe even go to war, if things did go completely wrong. Shin Makoku would be my responsibility and I would make mistakes. But I would have good people at my side to help me to deal with it.

These were my possibilities. And I knew the answer. I couldn´t leave Shin Makoku. And I now I know, that I especially couldn´t leave him. It would kill me.

"You should make your decision official in the near future. It will be an alleviation to a lot of people", Conrad says.

"I should", I admit.

But that wasn´t all.

"Conrad, there was more... My mum was next to us, when I outed myself",

"Outed?", Conrad asks.

"It means to admit to love people of the same gender".

"Oh!".

"Yeah mum reacted really good, you know? Said, she would always love me and that I should be with the person I loved".

"I´m glad", Conrad responds.

"I´m too. With all my fighting going on with Wolf and the outing in school and everything, I didn´t even have time to think about all the ways she could have reacted. It´s a blessing really".

Conrad nods.

"The thing is, Conrad, I don´t even know, whether I´m gay. It´s just... Wolf. ... I don´t dislike girls. I find them pretty and cute!", I say.

Conrad is silent for a moment, thinking.

"Yuuri, maybe this isn´t about only liking boys or only liking boys. Maybe this only about liking Wolfram".

"But Wolf is a boy!".

"That´s right. But love isn´t about gender. Love is about the other person. Maybe you just like Wolfram".

"You mean, I don´t have to like other boys, because I like Wolf?", I ask to make sure.

"Exactly", he says.

Conrad thinks a bit more.

"Maybe you should think about this though: Can you be with Wolfram? Completely?".

His voice gets a lot quieter at the end. A little blush is showing on his cheeks. I´m completely red. If I can be with Wolf?

I so could! The way my body reacts to him is almost embarrassing. but having this talk is even more embarrassing. I want to get away.

"Ah, thank you for your time", I say before running away.

"No problem", I hear him say, before I am too far away.

Embarrassing...

Completely embarrassing!