After a long drive we were finally in Palm Springs. I didn't recognize anything. When we were sat in the car pretty close to the school they had went to and lived in, I felt like I had been there before, but nothing jolt-started my memory. We went around and visited all the places we had been in when we apparently lived here, but I felt nothing. Not even a flashback assured me that we were on the right path. At the end of the day, everything just felt hopeless. They decided that we were going to stay at Calrence's for the night and we drove there. When I saw the big house in front of me, I almost let out a laugh. It looked exactly like Count Dracula was living in there. How ironic. We were greeted at the door by a surprised lady that was called Dorothy. I guessed that she was the feeder I had used while here, she looked kind of high and had bite marks on her neck. I hoped I could get to borrow her for a second now. I was all out of blood and it was exhausting me. We were shown into a living room which was kind of big, but so far the house wasn't that reminiscent of its outside. It looked kind of normal inside. In the living room sat an old man, which I assumed was Clarence, and looked out a window. He was very surprised to see us. He particularly stared at Sage for a long while.

"Hello Mr Donahue.", She said, smiling. He blinked hard before a smile spread across his face too.

"Well, hello Sydney.", He then looked at us. "And hello Eddie and Adrian. It has been a while since we last saw each other, hasn't it?", He looked kind of doubting. Obviously this man didn't exactly seem to be clear-headed. He seemed a bit confused.

"Yes it has. It has been five months since you saw me and Adrian.", Eddie said and gestured towards me. Clarence nodded slowly as if putting that information in his memory.

"And you haven't seen me in six months.", Sage added. Clarence seemed to think for a second before he seemed content that he had remembered something of importance.

"Ah, yes, you disappeared. Why did you do that? We were awfully worried for you.", He said and looked at her curiously. She smiled once again. She was so sweet against this old moroi. It was weird. She was an alchemist after all, they were supposed to be afraid of us, right? They thought we were all evil or something.

"Well, I got kidnapped. But that was then, these two rescued me. Let's leave it in the past, shall we?", She asked and looked at him. Better not involve all the details to him, maybe his mind would explode.

"If you say so. What brings you here then?", He asked and looked at ease.

"Well, we were wondering if you had any spare beds for the night? We need some place to stay.", Eddie asked. Clarence practically beamed.

"Well of course! There's always room for guests in my house.", He seemed so happy for company. It was adorable.

We got settled and I got some blood in my system, and I walked to the living room where the others were gathering. I sat down in the couch and looked around me. I just took in the atmosphere and tried desperately to remember something, anything. Sage came down and sat down on the other end of the sofa and looked tired. She sighed and looked over at Eddie who was talking to Clarence by the window. The old man seemed curious about whatever they were talking about, probably the fact that we were gone for so long, and Eddie seemed to enjoy talking to the old moroi as well. I looked around the room and caught a glimpse of red, and just like that, I got a picture in my mind again. I saw red and gold. Just red and gold. After a short while, the gold took the shape of that cross necklace again and the red resorted to looking like fabric in the background. When I saw that, I felt warm inside. Like I was falling in love. It was a strange feeling, to feel like you're falling for someone while looking at inanimate objects. Maybe I had been in love with a person that had worn those things? Or maybe my mind was just playing games with me. Who knew. My mind wasn't exactly the most reliable source of information these days. I returned to reality and found Sage staring at me. Those pretty eyes were studying me and my face and when I looked back, she turned her head.

"Anything you want to know?", I asked, one eyebrow raised. She looked at me again and spoke.

"Is your mind still blank? I could swear that you just remembered something.", She seemed so certain of whatever she was thinking, but I didn't feel ready to share my visions with her yet. I didn't know her. At least not as I was now.

"It's blank. I can promise you that.", I muttered. She seemed a bit defeated at that but to be fair, I would have been too.

"Too bad.", She said and looked at me with sadness in her eyes.

"Why? Why do you want me to remember so badly?", I asked. I was curious. She seemed to care about me in a different way than how an alchemist should care about a vampire.

"Because I miss the person you were before all this.", She simply said and looked away. I was puzzled. Had we really been that good friends?

"Were we good friends?", I dared to ask and she looked over at me again. A sad smile was on her lips and she looked tired and weak.

"We were. We really were.", Sage said, voice barely above a whisper, and she got up on her feet and walked away. Again, my mind sent me a picture. I felt the heat of a burning sun and I saw a girl sitting next to me, her feet was dipped into a pool of clear-blue water and the glimmer of the sun that reflected in the cross around her neck hid her face. Why did I keep seeing that cross? What meaning did it hold to me? I didn't know, and it freaked me out. It made me feel safe, at home, happy, sad, and a million other things, all at once. It was confusing. I wondered who the girl that wore the cross in my latest vision were. If I could just find her, maybe all the pieces would fall into place. Maybe everything would start making sense for the first time since I woke up in that basement. Maybe, just maybe. I lived on my hope and my foolish belief that everything would fall into place as soon as I found the missing piece that kept disturbing my thoughts. I returned to the world around me and found that me and Clarence were the only people still in the room. This was a risky situation. He didn't know about my memory loss and I would probably not be able to carry out a conversation with him since I didn't remember a thing about anyone that I had met in Palm Springs. Something struck me. Why were the shadows so close? Why wasn't I chain-smoking to keep them away? Where the hell was my booze and cigarettes? What had happened under these months, I couldn't possibly gone sober, my vices were my life-savers. They helped me keep a grip on the world so that I wouldn't feel like I was falling off. They helped me live normally. They helped keep my thought somewhat clear. Why didn't I have them in my hand? Eddie walked back into the room and I decided to ask him.

"Castile, one question, why isn't there a pack of cigarettes in my pocket?", I looked at him like I was blaming him for the lack of substances in my blood. Eddie sighed and looked at me hesitantly. Why did everyone tip on their toes around me? I wasn't a child, I was just a whiny moroi with memory issues.

"Last time I heard, you quit.", He said at last. What the hell.

"I quit?! Are you kidding me?", I was almost mad at myself. Why would I quit the things that made my life better?

"No. I'm not. You really quit.", He looked dead serious. I couldn't believe it.

"Well why?", I must have had a reason, even though I wouldn't accept the fact that my stupid past self had let go of the things that gave me a purpose.

"Because of Jill.", He said but directly after that he gave me a weird look. I hated being excluded.

"I can understand that, even though I don't understand why I didn't just cut down. I mean, how am I gonna live without the loves of my life?", I sighed and leaned back on the couch. Eddie sat down in a chair quite close to me and looked at me.

"You know, I don't think they're the loves of your life anymore.", He cast a quick glance towards the door and then looked content. Why was he so cryptic?`

"Nothing could replace them. They're the only things that have never let me down.", I closed my eyes and ran a hand through my hair. I was so exhausted all the time. This memory loss really damaged my energy supply. Eddie just chuckled quietly and I heard him get up and talk to Clarence. As if something had replaced my precious booze. It was impossible. Right in the same second as that thought crossed my mind, Sage walked into the room. Suddenly I got butterflies in my stomach. Why did that happen? I figured that it was because of the fact that she was an authority. I couldn't deal well with authorities. I always ended up defying whatever they said, unless they said something worth listening too. She looked pretty. Even though her clothes looked like she was a missionary, she pulled them off. She went over to the window and the setting sun made her hair glow, and her yellow aura added to the illusion that she was made of gold. She took my breath away. But I wasn't falling for her. Nope, wouldn't happen. I knew how easy a woman's beauty could captivate me, it had happened many times before, but I mostly managed to keep it to an admiration of their appearance, and nothing else. She had a stronger pull than most girls, I'll admit that, but I wouldn't let myself fall over the edge. Never. She was a human for Christ sake. Nothing could become of this. Ever. As if she could read my thoughts, she came over to me and sat down next to me on the couch.

"How's it going?", She asked with a gloomy smile. Why did she seem to sad all the time?

"Not bad, still empty up there, but it's probably just a matter of time.", I sighed and her smile disappeared.

"Probably. It did for me. It took five months though, I would want to have you back earlier than that.", She looked down at her hands.

"Your memory was lost too? You never told me that.", I was shocked. She had been in the same position as me and hadn't told me about it.

"Yes. Right before you lost yours, I got mine back.", She said grimly.

"Does that mean-", I managed to say before she cut me off.

"Yes, it means that even when I couldn't remember anything about or Palm Springs or anything, I decided to help you escape.", She looked at me then and her eyes distracted me for a second before I pulled it together.

"Why?", Was my simple question. She looked away and gazed out over the room instead of looking into my eyes.

"Because, it felt right. I can't really explain it, I just knew in my heart that I needed to help you.", I was moved by that. Even though she didn't remember me, she decided that I was worth risking her life for. Our friendship must have been strong.

"Well, I'm glad you did, even though you kind of failed miserably at saving me from whatever they did.", I smiled at her and managed to get a small smile back. A smile of amusement and not a forced smile like she so very often nowadays showed me. Sage smiled a genuine smile and it warmed me, deep in my soul.

A/N: Just now this morning, I realized that I have to become better at updating this story if I wan't it completed before The Indigo Spell which is only 18 days away. So I figured I might aswell publish a chapter before I dragged myself to school. Hope you liked it!