!Please read!: ffnet is having a serious error... It hasn't been letting me upload anything. I really wanted it all up today, so I found a document I had exported and copied and pasted my fics in. I'll fix any HTML stuff tomorrow, and if anything is weird (chapter 9 of Home is the one I'm messing with), tell me. Thanks.
Note:
I'm doing something different here. Rather than taking place where Sora's left off, it's his version of his first day of school. Yay! Also, I'm going to fix some of Riku's POV chapters so they're less confusing. I may start deleting stuff that really doesn't fit in this fic and just put them on my LJ as little Home-related drabbles… I guess that's cheating, but this story is getting to be a bit too long already. XD I guess it doesn't matter if I just make the updates come faster. (Gotta love Spring Break, eh?)
Note 2:
SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG TO UPDATE! I don't know how many people read my notes, OR my profile, but the lack of updates was stemming from both a lack of inspiration and a lot of stuff happening in school. Well, not so much "a lot of stuff happening" as "my need to be a perfectionist and get straight As". XD Ha, ha. (Though, honestly, I did have mid-terms and the like.) But, I'm done and this chapter is twelve pages:D Hopefully I took out all my notes to myself this time…
Home
Chapter 14
(Riku's POV)
God, the bus ride is bumpy. You'd think someone would be paying to pave these roads…
I woke up in the morning at six AM on the dot and I did not get any sleep last night. I was so anxious I was having nightmares. I could have puked, I could have.
And today… I feel…
Oddly calm. I hope it's not the "calm before the storm" though I figure it probably is. With me, there's always "the storm". I sigh quietly. This sucks, it really does. Especially when you start the morning too early: with a half an hour to kill. Not enough time to get more sleep, not enough time to start something…
Now, I at least take this time to be alone with my thoughts, even through all the noise of the children talking and--well, teens I guess; they are my age. But I feel so much older.
Ha… I'm always alone with my thoughts, anyway. Even when I suppose, physically, I'm not alone. Sora's right next to me. I feel strangely comforted by his presence, too. I guess I realize now that if I really need to, I can talk to him. About my day.
About my first day of school.
Mm, those words have a slightly headache-inducing ring to them. I feel totally and completely nauseated.
No, I am not going to throw up. I am not going to throw up.
I already did, this morning.
Okay, maybe I am more stressed about this than I thought, but… I really think I can make this out to be a good thing. Just catch up a little, it'll be good that I'll at least be able to say that I went to high school, even for the short time I will be going…
-
God, I only had the chance to rest in bed for a moment before the alarm went off, scaring the shit out of me and waking Sora. He groaned and flipped over, pulling the pillow over his head, telling me he was not going to get up, was not going to get out of bed…
-
I know the feeling.
I wonder if he's feeling as though there's been a change. Or does he feel the way that he did when he went to his old school, his old "home"? I know I don't feel the same as I did in Darry. This is a different kind of dread.
And, currently, Sora is… asleep. I'll never know how he can sleep on this smelly, crowded, noisy old bus, lurching and jerking with every crack, crease or bump on the road, stopping and starting with the early morning traffic.
I am going to throw up.
I slowly put my head in my hands, trying to calm my stomach, trying to get my headache to go away, trying not to wake Sora. Oh, are we there yet? For one odd moment I feel like a little kid: are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?
JESUS CHRIST, BUS DRIVER, ARE WE FUCKING THERE YET?
Oh, boy… just calm down. Calm down.
When the bus slows down and finally comes to a stop, I wish that we hadn't gotten there so quickly. Now that we're here… I'm… what? Nervous
I'm fine. Really, this isn't a big deal. I shake Sora awake and we slowly push through the mob of rowdy, obnoxious teens. Now that we're out in the fresh air (as fresh as we'll get in the city), my stomach has definitely settled though I'm still extremely anxious. I just want to go straight to my locker, straight to my classes, no mess, no fuss.
But Sora just won't get off me. He's so clingy. I want to say: You're nervous, great. I am too and I'm not making a show of it. Bugger.
Instead I smile it off, with nothing more than a playful, "You leech." And shake my head and leave.
The short journey to my locker is relatively painless. I'm not ignored, exactly, but no one bothers to draw any attention to me. This is all I've ever wanted: to be left alone.
Maybe this will be easier than I thought. The lockers are brand new, shiny paint and all. The lock turns swiftly and doesn't catch, doesn't squeak when I open it. Everything I don't need fits neatly and perfectly inside. My first class is right near here; I'm early, but I don't care. I'll just sit over in the back and read a book that Mr. Hart got for me when we went out back-to-school shopping.
When I walk in, I do just that. There's no one here, though some teachers and administrators keeping coming in in out. Every time I hear that door open I absently wonder which one of them teaches in this room.
"You're early." A voice says. I jump--I swear to God-- almost out of my fucking shoes.
"Yeah, I am." I reply. Eh, it'll take me a while to come up with clever responses again.
The woman-- the teacher, I can only assume, sits at the desk at the front of the room and types something on the computer.
"Are you in this class?" She asks, hardly even concentrating on me. Doesn't matter.
"If this is C22." Not great, but a sure step up from 'yeah, I am'.
"This is. Name?"
"Imakura."
"Interesting name! Where are you from?"
"I don't know where the name comes from, if that's what you mean." She doesn't reply. I hear more typing, and a click.
"There. Okay, one less name to call this morning."
What I was about to say next I'm afraid will end up condescending, so I bite my tongue and go back to my book. I can still hardly concentrate-- still anxious, though less so, and all I can think about is how this book was bought for me by Sora's dad. These clothes, my school supplies, everything was. I don't know why it freaks me out, but it does.
Slowly, more people come in. A small group of three boys. They sit in a small cluster across the room from me, talking and laughing, cutting each other down, tossing insults. It's all joking, but they still don't seem at all catty. The boys in Darry were all oddly, almost girlishly, catty. Maybe it was just to me-- I could beat the crap out of any of those guys, so what else was there to do? Spread rumors. Make fun.
But, I guess what I'm trying to say is, the people here already look like an improvement. Maybe I won't make the specific point to isolate myself, maybe, but I'm not in over my head. I know that I'm only here for a while, there's no point in getting close to people again. And, anyway, I'm here to learn, to be able to say I went to high school for a while. Not to make friends.
Blah. Blah. Blah.
God, Riku, just read.
-
My mind drifts; I hope that I'll be able to stay in this seat here, God, I hated sitting in the center of the room in Darry. Damn alphabetical seating charts-- I always ended up next to Nero, too. He was "K", I was "I" and there never seemed to be any "J"s. Then it occurs to me: I have no enemies here. No one knows me.
A huge wave of relief washes over me. I totally forgot… I didn't even consider…
Ah, it's comforting. It's so comforting.
I don't know why I'm so tense in the first place… it's safe to say that I am completely over everything that happened in that godforsaken school in Darry. The teachers, the staff, the students… they were idiots, not worth my time. I do get lost in the memories, that's simply how I am. I know I get depressed but, it's not that. True it wasn't fair, but life isn't.
It's just that… I don't know what I would do if it all happened again. I wonder how things are going for Sora?
-
The bell rings and students begin pouring in in small groups. I casually glance around at all of the unfamiliar faces. I don't even recognize anyone from the bus. I pay no attention to the people who sit in front of me and to my side. I stay in my own little corner, in my own little world.
"Sucks that summer's gone, huh?" It takes me a full thirty seconds before I realize that loud chick next to me is trying to start a conversation.
"Sure." I can't tell the difference, anyway. Fuck, I could use a vacation already…
"What are you reading?"
"A book."
"Uh-huh. Okay, I'll stop annoying you now."
I almost say 'great', but instead reply, "I'm Riku."
She offers a smile. "Selphie. Good! Now I have a friend in this class." Shit. I'm making friends. Some other girl calls for her, and Selphie rushes over to another table. Well, that was short lived…
The teacher stands up, tells us--I'm not kidding-- to "simmer", and everyone takes their precious time getting back to their desks and shutting up. When the girl… ah, hell, she has a name. (Calling Sora 'that kid' for half the time I knew him didn't stop me from getting attached.) So, Selphie sits back next to me but doesn't say another word.
I really don't mind.
The teacher goes on for a minute, talking about some partner projects, to help everyone get 'acquainted'.
Oh, oh, fuck.
Selphie turns around. "Partner?"
"Sure."
She takes two papers from the teacher and looks at them for a moment.
"I love the deep and philosophical questions they always have you fill out." She hands me a paper. "'What's your favorite color?' is a personal favorite."
"I'm partial to 'What's your favorite animal?'" I reply.
"'If you were a river, what would you be?'" She continues, and I finally say,
"Wet."
She laughs, snorts, and laughs some more. Once she calms down she asks me the first question: "How old are you?"
"Sixteen."
She writes it down.
"Fourteen." She says. "Fifteen in November. Is that close enough?"
"Fourteen?" I ask.
"I skipped the grade." She explains. Well, obviously she did. "I don't look it… or act like it, but I am very smart."
I don't want to say anything mean, so I just go on to the next question. What do you know… it really is 'what's your favorite color?'
She says yellow.
"Mine too." I reply, absently.
She squeaks and smiles. "Really? That's funny! What kind of yellow?" What the fuck kind of question is that?
"Yellow yellow." I say, after a moment.
"Golden-yellow or sunshine yellow?" This girl is insane.
"I don't care." After a pause I change the subject again. "Look, why don't I just fill out my own, and you fill out yours."
She nods. "That would work."
It takes us a nanosecond to switch papers and we fall silent, filling out the answers. The questions quickly change from 'what's your favorite band/animal/TV show?' to 'what college to you want to go to?' I don't know. I don't have a clue. I don't know anything about the colleges here, I never even planned on going to college. Sure, I had my little dreams of running off to my house on the beach and doing… I don't know what, writing, maybe, and being in peace. But those were just that: dreams. I never thought about my real future. How unlike me. You'd think I'd have this all worked out, but... maybe I just figured I wouldn't live long enough to even see the age of eighteen. I couldn't say.
"Geez, Riku, it's a dumb personality sheet, not a test." The sound of Selphie's voice snaps me out of my thoughts.
"Huh?"
She laughs. "You were concentrating so hard. Like your life depended on giving the right answers or something."
I say, "I just couldn't decide if I liked golden-yellow or sunshine-yellow the best." She grins and sticks her tongue out at me.
"Be different. Go for sunshine." Her expression turns serious.
"Wiser words have never been spoken." I say, rolling my eyes. "I'll tattoo it on my arm."
"A simple T-shirt would do, but alright."
"Five minutes!" The teacher warns us all.
"Where are you stuck?" Selphie asks. "Seriously." I slide my paper over. "What college? Oh, that's easy. UOO, right?" She spells it out: you-oh-oh. What's that stand for…? It must be University of Occiana. Not much of a ring to it, I must say.
"Um…"
She cocks her head to the side, much like Sora does. "Did you just move here or something?" I helplessly nod. "Ooh! From where?"
"No where." I reply sharply. She's obviously taken aback by my sudden change in mood.
"Sorry." She mutters. Then, "Just put UOO."
For the rest of the questions, ('what will you be when you grow up?') I can only put a pathetic little "Undecided." It gets easier again as they start asking for contact information. Address, home number, work number. I don't have it all memorized yet, but it's in the inside of my school agenda book. Mr. Hart wrote it in for me when I wasn't looking.
The teacher calls time, and everyone makes their way back to their desks, still talking.
"Quiet." She says. "Well, this is a bit late, but I'm Mrs. Pierson." This earns a few half-hearted chuckles. "Now, we're going to go down the aisles and each one of you will say one thing about yourself." Damn. "It can be from the paper I passed out, or it can be completely unrelated." A pause. "Would anyone like to start?" an even longer pause. "Okay, I'll start: I'm Mrs. Pierson. I've been teaching here for ten years." She puts one hand on her swollen belly. "I'm obviously pregnant." God, am I spacey or what? I never even noticed. Well, it doesn't matter anyway. She goes on for another moment before pointing to some unfortunate sap in front of her. "Would you like to say something about yourself?"
He quietly introduces himself as David and says he likes sports. Well, congratulations, David-whatsyourface. I'm absolutely dreading my turn. It comes much too soon. Damn, I'm screwed.
"I'm Riku," I say, and I actually don't feel awkward. I glance down at my paper and choose to read to first one I see: "My favorite color is yellow." For the corner of my eye I can see Selphie rapidly mouth, 'what kind of yellow?' I smile and turn away. And, just like that, my turn's done.
We end up with about ten minutes of free time at the end of the period. I start to pretend-read again and Selphie goes off to talk to some girls. A group of three or four girls in another corner talk and glance over and giggle. It's a little distracting and a little more than unnerving.
After the bell rings, Selphie rushes to catch up with me as I walk out.
"People are checking you out, New Kid." She says, and slaps me on the back.
…Really hard, actually. She has a lot of strength in that small frame of hers. "So, where are you going next?"
I glance down at my schedule. "English."
"Oh, I don't." Is all she says, and bounces off in the opposite direction.
Well, that whole experience was… interesting.
None of my other classes, for the rest of the day, are too eventful. A few people come up and talk with me for a little while, but certainly none with the charisma Selphie has.
I don't know how I manage to find Sora at the end of the day, but I do. He's standing, patiently, at his locker, absently looking around. He smiles when he sees me and gives a short wave. We don't say a single word from the way from his locker until we reach the bus stop. I don't mind. It would be too annoying if Sora were perky and chatty, I'm so tired. It's sudden, too. I swear I wasn't tired five seconds ago.
There's a smaller crowd waiting for the bus to come than there was this morning. I glance around and catch a glimpse of Selphie and that other girl, the one that I met at lunch, Kairi. They grin and jump up and wave, but I look the other way. Sora doesn't even notice. The bus comes soon enough; everyone loads on, rounded up like cattle. Sora and I head to the middle of the bus like we did this morning. We both collapse onto the seat and slump over.
"Tired?" He asks, finally, with a small grin.
I reply with, "Very." I consider going to sleep like Sora did, but I don't know if I'd be able to. Besides, I can never fall asleep at night if I nap during the afternoon…
I'm going to set a date for when I leave. To make this all real. As soon as I get back to Sora's house I'll start planning.
The ride back is still motion-sickness inducing, but I feel better this time around. Sora is entirely quiet, sans the occasional squeak when the bus hits a sudden speed bump. I glance over and he smiles. God, I love when he smiles at me. So much for not taking these things to heart… For the rest of the trip, I stare out the window, watching the people and buildings pass by.
The bus lurches and screeches to a stop very suddenly. Slowly, everybody starts to get up and spill out onto the sidewalk. The majority of the people go in the opposite direction that we do.
"Back home I always rode the school bus. It's smellier riding the city bus." Sora notes. I don't respond. He smiles at his own joke, and that smile doesn't fade for the whole rest of the way back. He seems to be just as lost in thought as I am. Soon, Sora's house comes into view and we are at the door, Sora searching his pockets for the key. He finds it after a moment, fumbles with the lock, and finally gets the door open. He rushes in, obviously looking for any sign of his father. He, of course, isn't here. Mr. Hart really does seem as if he'll be one of those fathers that buries himself in his work so much that he will never be where he needs to. Nathan was like that, at times.
Well, we'll see how this all turns out, I guess.
"So…" My boyfriend hums. "Have any homework?"
"A little."
"Ah."
Ever fun and exciting, the two of us… My transition from spontaneous to boring and habitual is coming much faster than I thought possible.
We both slowly make our way upstairs. I unzip the messenger bag that Mr. Hart bought me and look over the various papers I need to have signed.
Well, I've made it through my first day. I've sat through obnoxious teachers telling the class that we can't have mommy taking care of us anymore (fuck off! You don't know my situation!), annoying, chattering kids, figuring out how to work my lock combination, and even made a few friends.
So I guess that-- whoa!
It takes me a moment to realize that Sora just fucking tackled me.
"Sora?!" I spit out, finally, just recovering from the initial shock. I wince as his face nears mine and relax when he kisses me. What's gotten into him? I quickly shove him off me. Why…with all of this… am I so…? So, what? Content? Blissful? What exactly am I feeling right now?
"Hey, what are we going to tell people?" Sora asks suddenly.
"Hm? What are you talking about?"
He flips over on his stomach and looks thoughtful. "Are we really going to tell people about where we're from, and everything that's happened?"
I was just hoping no one would ask… the two of us really seemed to have switched. He's put more thought into this than I did. I, of course, thought about it, but… it didn't feel real. I felt like one day I'd wake up and everything would be "normal" and I'd be back out, free, and without Sora. Or that Monday would just never come.
"Stay as vague as possible. I don't tell anyone about you, you don't tell anyone abut me." Tell anyone, even your Dad, anything about me and you are dead, Sora. I'm not about to forget that you already told him about both my birthday and my illogical fear of needles.
I'm not even as mad as I should be. I think about it and could almost laugh. Sora's just… like that. Can't keep his mouth shut. He asks, then, "Are you happy here?"
I don't know. I haven't thought that much into this yet…
"I'm fine here."
"Are you going to stay?"
"For a little while longer." A little while, a few weeks, really. God, I've been here too long already, haven't I?
I'm not going to panic or do anything of the kind. I'm just going to wait and see.
Wait and see.
Sora looks... absolutely content as he puts all of this papers into his binder, and his binder into his backpack. Wordlessly, he stands up and kisses me. Then he walks out the door.
I wonder what's with him…?
I slowly walk downstairs, not necessarily looking for Sora, though I know I'd find him here. I can hear him talking and it takes me a moment--several-- to figure out he's on the phone. I crash on the couch, taking up all the space, my legs dangling over the arm rests. I block out the sound of Sora's voice; I don't really want to listen in. God, what's up with me? I don't usually care so much about being polite. Well, I was raised to be polite in an almost old-fashioned way. Obviously I had to dump politeness after I ran away, and around people who picked on me.
It's all coming back to me I guess. I don't know whether this is good or bad.
"That was Dad." Sora says, walking into plain sight, then sitting on the edge of the couch. I get snapped out of my thoughts so quickly that I could get mental whiplash. I didn't realize that he realized that I'm here.
"Oh." I reply. Clearly, I'm supposed to be saying more. "What'd he say?"
Sora grins. "He wanted to check in to see how we are."
"If we're still alive?" I ask with a smirk. He nods and laughs.
"He said he missed us during lunch! And that he'd be coming home earlier at night." I lazily lean over and pull Sora so he's next to me. He's really light and god he's little. He was skinny when I met him but now more than ever he looks so frail. I guess I do, too. After having so little to eat for so long it's no wonder that we probably look like the living dead.
I lift one hand and stroke my boyfriend's hair while my other hand somehow finds its way to his knee. He's clearly uncomfortable with, if not all of this, the silence. "This is…" He starts, but I don't let him finish.
"I know." We're quiet once again. "What, do you want me to stop?"
"No! No, of course not."
Of course not, Sora. After all, you are only Mister Go-As-Fast-As-We-Can. Or maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm putting a serious halt on our relationship, making this all run at a snail's pace.
Doesn't matter. I'll be gone soon.
I just have to keep telling myself that…
Sora shifts around again.
"What?" I ask.
"Nothing." He replies. "I have to pee." He gets up and rushes away.
Too much information.
…And weird, anyway. He's wussed out twice now when we're hardly doing anything. And just an hour ago he pounced on me!
I go straight upstairs.
-
Mr. Hart sticks to his word: he is back early tonight. Sora is always completely thrilled to see his dad come home at the end of the day. He's bouncy and annoying and chatty. I don't know why Mr. Hart doesn't make some damn time to be with his kid that he wasn't seen in…how long was it? Five years, ten even? Sora never said.
God, it's none of my business anyway.
I get back downstairs a few minutes before dinner is ready. I'm quiet, but not too much so. Sora hasn't stopped even talking for one little second. Finally his dad calms him down. He says, "If you keeping talking like this you're going to pass out from lack of oxygen."
Sora blushes. "Sorry."
"So, Riku…" Oh, God. "How was your day?"
"Fine."
"Like your teachers?"
"Sure."
"Make any friends?"
I think of Selphie. "…no."
He smiles. "You will." God, I hope not.
"What are you talking about?" Sora jumps in. "You made friends." I smack my forehead, hard. "…Um, are you alright?"
"Fantastic."
-
After we finish eating, Sora goes upstairs. "Do you have anything for me to sign for school?" Mr. Hart asks after we've both been quiet for a moment.
"Yeah. I'll get it later." I think less now about my responses; it's so much easier that way. I don't overanalyze.
"So, you haven't made friends yet?" Mr. Hart repeats, thoughtfully.
I shrug. "I'm not going to school to make friends. I'm going to learn." He frowns.
"It's going to be so much easier if you socialize. You're in a completely new environment… this is all going to be really hard on you."
You can say that again…
I shake my head and shrug again. Maybe I'll go to the beach again tonight. I don't have a curfew…
God. When I said no curfews and he said just said "fine"… I thought there would be some battle. I'm kind of pissed that he's giving me permission to do whatever I want. Now I don't really even want to do it… I hate to say that I'm rebellious. I think it sounds so stupid. But I guess I am. I want him to start forbidding me to do things so I can go out and do them. Show him that I don't care, and maybe then he'll kick me out or something. I just don't want to turn into Mr. Apple Pie.
"I'm going to finish up some work… I'll be in my room if you need me." Mr. Hart flashes his ever-present smile, then leaves. God, go keep your kid company.
I don't know why I care…
He probably won't be out again; I'm going back to the beach.
I sit for a minute. When no one stirs, when no doors open, I leave.
The waves always crash in patterns, the stars shine brightly overhead, and the sand is always every bit as soft as a stuffed animal I can vaguely remember having as a toddler. I'd never seen the ocean before I came here and it's more amazing in real life than it is depicted in paintings or shot in movies.
But for some reason, coming here starts to bring up those ugly little memories that aren't quite in the front of my mind yet.
Odd.
For a while I walk around aimlessly. I hardly pay attention to the sounds my feet make in the sand, until I begin to hear the same noise, only it's out of sync with the way I'm walking. My stomach tightens. I know I can fight off whoever this person may be, but it's dark and I don't know where the sound is coming from. I turn on my heels and run as fast as I can to, and jump over, the gate (nearly catching and ripping my pants as I do so), up the street, to that one familiar house in a sea of mansions.
I'm praying to God that the door is unlocked. I try to get a grip on the doorknob, and finally get the door open. I step in, getting a little sand on the plush carpet. I'll clean it up tomorrow. I silently close the door and rest against it. I slide down until I fall on my ass.
That was close. Possibly.
I'm so jittery, but I think I always have been. And I always prefer to escape than fight. But it could have been nothing, could have been no one, could have been another me: someone just seeking an hour or so of freedom.
Ah, whatever. I'm here now, that's all that matters.
-
In the days that have passed, it's been easier to get up, the ride here is smoother. Sora and I talk a little, but our conversations are so dumb that "So, the weather's nice" would seem fascinating. It's Thursday, already, and I haven't even begun to plan when I'm going to leave. I've been getting so wrapped up in school, and especially, Sora.
Since school's started we have been positively inseparable. Anywhere he goes--even if it's just into the next room-- I go, too. In return, he follows me everywhere. We're on each other constantly, too. Like damn rabbits, I swear.
Sora sighs in boredom and puts his hand on mine and squeezes it.
It's too early…
I'm not in the mood…
"Quit it." I say, sounding more hostile than intended. He quickly whispers and apology and looks away.
God, what's wrong with me? Sometimes I mind and sometimes I don't. Sometimes I'm perfectly happy and sometimes I get so damn depressed. I wouldn't mind if I were happy all the time, or even if I were upset all of the time. What I can't stand are the constant ups and downs, this strange roller coaster of emotions. I murmur a rushed apology, and that's good enough for Sora. He's easy to please.
Hm. If anyone had told me that Sora and I would end up like this, I would have laughed at them. I would probably feel extremely disturbed and maybe I'd kick them, but there would be some laughing there as well.
The bus stops abruptly, and slowly everyone gets out.
Looking at the curriculum for the year, everything looked like it was going to be easy. When I casually mentioned it at dinner, Mr. Hart "pulled some strings", I guess, and now I'm at least in an 'advanced' English class. That's fine; it's my best subject anyhow. So, my whole schedule's been moved around. I no longer have Math with Selphie, but we (fortunately or unfortunately) have some elective classes together.
The week breezes by quickly and easily. Mr. Hart is constantly rushing around to give us things to do over the weekend. He says it's to get us healthier, to, I guess, "fix us" from how shitty our health has been since we both ran away. I kind of think that he just wants to get rid of us, keep us busy. He's still gone most of the time anyway.
I shouldn't be attacking him. He's shown nothing but kindness. But… I don't know.
I've been getting a bit more bold, I guess you could say. I don't wear my jacket quite so often… I'm still careful about showing my scars; I have no clue what Mr. Hart would think of it, or what he would assume. I hadn't been sure if he noticed at all. So I don't know why I freak out when, after school on Friday, the one day he actually is here, he brings it up.
"Hey," He's saying. "I've seen a lot of scars around your hands and wrists." Here it comes: 'are you psycho?' 'Are you doing this to yourself?' 'Did you get into a fight or something?' "There're a few that are really pink. If you want some medication for it to make them disappear, I'll pick it up for you."
…What? God, he never, never ceases to confuse me.
"…Sure. Thank you."
He smiles and replies good-naturedly, "No problem. Must have hurt like hell, huh?"
"Excuse me?"
"The burns. Well, they look like burn scars." My lips form the word, "Oh," but it never comes out.
"I guess." Is what does come out. Once Mr. Hart is gone, I push up my sleeves a little. I didn't realize how low these scars go. It doesn't seem as though he's seen enough to be concerned. Good. I absently trace over a scar left from when Nathan drunkenly burned me with his cigarette, somehow. I remember it happening, but the memory is fuzzy. There's one close where I burned myself accidentally while cooking. And one where I burned myself purposely while cooking.
I'm a little messed up, I think…
-
Sometime way past dinner, past homework, past everything, I head upstairs to go to bed. It's a bit late; I wonder if Sora's asleep? I've hardly heard a peep from him all day. I wonder if he's mad at me? My mind races, I'm trying to think of everything I've done today that could have upset him.
Okay, that's completely pointless. I guess I could always go upstairs and ask him. I head upstairs slowly, and quietly open the door.
"Sora?"
No reply. "Sora?"
No reply again, for a moment.
"Huh?" The lights were off when I came in, but I guess he was only starting to drift into sleep. I slide into bed and as I do, Sora wraps his arms around me. "What's the matter?"
"…Nothing. Go back to sleep."
All is well, I guess.