XIV

"Lost."

"Ray... I thought you weren't supposed to see me."

"As long as... the Savior thinks we're working on the project, then it's alright," Ray explains, softly. "Technically there is much work to be done on unlocking the information that the Savior and Claude want, so nothing about this is against the rules or anything." His eyes keep darting in the direction of the automatic door every so often, despite the red lock key keeping us inside away from the others, he doesn't seem to think that either of us is safe. He shuts his eyes and looks away from the door.

He had come to my room early in the morning and took me by the hand without saying anything. The building had been eerily quiet as we walked through the long and dark hallways until we reached his computer room; It was like he was going out of his way to avoid contact with any of the Believers or anyone that might have said something in our direction. I had been surprised to see him... the last time that we had talked had been on the phone two nights prior, and there had been radio silence since that moment.

I feared the worse, but -

he was in one piece.

"Are you feeling alright, today?" he asked.

"Yes, a lot better then the other day," I confirmed with a nod of my head.

He breathed a sigh of relief at the information. "That's good. I hoped that nothing worse had happened after that incident. I'm sorry... that I couldn't get in touch with you sooner, Lila, I just... I had to do a lot to make up for my mistakes."

I don't like that implication of that statement. It's possible that he's been fighting his brother nonstop, or he's been sending shady messages to V on the urgency of Rika. I can't be entirely sure of what he's done or has done recently. I push it to the back of my mind. Instead, I reach out towards him with my hand but he stares at it, nervous.

"You... look like you haven't rested," I say. "What did I ask you to try to do instead of visiting me when you've caught a break?"

The fear in his eyes vanishes. His shoulders sag a little and he looks down at the floor like he's been caught with his hand in a cookie jar. "I couldn't rest... not for a moment," he said. They wouldn't have let him sleep if he was being punished... would they? He would have been up for days if they had their way about controlling him.

I approach him and brush my fingers against his shoulders. He can't do much, just look down at me with those imposingly green eyes with shame within them. "I understand," I tell him. "Next time, then."

"I'm sorry, Lila." Ray apologies, for the millionth time. I can see in his eyes that he means it when he says it. Every single apology from his mouth, he means it. Whether it be for the way he thinks of himself, or when he thinks he's done something wrong by me.

"It's okay, I'm not upset."

This room was as it had been the last time I was in it. It looked like a dungeon without windows and adequate wallpaper. The whole room stunk of a wasteland that only you might find yourself if you had a huge punishment from someone. Sure, it seemed like a great space if you liked computers but this space seemed dead.

Dull.

I couldn't help myself but inspect it. The last time I had been too caught up in my panic to even try and look around. I could see that nothing was out of place, there were some papers here and there, but other than that the room was barren. He had a makeshift cot in the corner that wouldn't let anyone get any decent sleep, and I could imagine him calling me from that spot in such discomfort.

Something in the corner of the room didn't seem right to my vision. Amongst his things in the corner by his for, there was a small picture frame that looked like it

Hold on, I thought.

Despite a small protest from Ray, I approached the small object and lifted it up into my hands. It was... me?

Why would Ray have a photo of me? Wait a moment, he could only have something like this if it had been given to him.

I look back at Ray, frowning. "Did you get this picture from... him?"

I was surprised to see a photograph from my reality amongst Ray's things. It wasn't a two-dimensional image, either, it was still in the third dimension. It looked out of place and stuck out like a sore thumb. I hadn't seen this photograph in a while, it was of my Father, Lucy, and me. It was taken around two years ago, and it was a time when the world was relatively calm and normal for our little-twisted family. I looked from the photo back over to Ray.

He reluctantly nodded his head. "Yes," he confirmed.

"Any idea why it has retained depth from my universe?" I reached for the stars but Ray shook his head yet again and disputed any hopes that I had. "I don't look like this right now. So why is this still like this?"

"Claude seemed to think objects from different universes aren't able to fully transform, at least some of them. None of the other things he's shown me have been like this. I don't entirely understand it myself." He answers, honestly. "I thought you might have an idea."

I shook my head.

"No clue, I don't have the slightest idea of how this works, wait," I dug in my pocket my phone and began to flick through my apps. One click to the gallery answered that for me. Everything still retained it's clarity and looked like it didn't belong. I had to do a double take, but it didn't change what I was seeing. While I didn't retain my proportions - most of the data remained the way that it was. That was another flame onto the fire of mystery. "Huh. Well, that answers that question."

I flashed the camera in his direction. "My photos are still the same as well," I said.

"Interesting," Ray notes. He inspects the images just as I had, fiddling with his hands. "But, I think I know what might be able to help us figure out a clue to the puzzle." He frowns and looks to the left. "I want to show you something."

Ray gestures towards his computer and plops down into the chair. He begins to type a flurry of code and onto the screen springs to the life bits and pieces of the document that I had opened once before, during the chaos that V had caused when he tried to get me out of this place. It seemed as though that Ray had made even more progress on the app. He was getting closer and closer to opening the features that would reveal things to him that would be difficult for anyone to see... what would he think if he knew that in our reality... somehow he and those that he knew were fragments of fiction to the world? Besides the fact that I was still struggling to understand how Cheritz had been able to create what they did -

I knew it was going to be even worse when and if they learned the truth.

My gut filled me with nothing but fear.

If the leyline had opened a gate for different realities - it was possible that other mythical elements were just as fact as the spaces between universes. I could recall that some people believed that Authors were mediums for different realities, they were able to tap into other worlds across the multiverse as a one-way mirror. They could write and conceive everything that they saw and while they thought it was of their own creation, it was more like they were peaking into the lives of other people and chalking it down onto paper. It was one running theory that I had reached during my run-around, and it was the one that I wanted to stick with for now.

It was just as likely that universes for everything you conceive as fiction were just as real as your own flesh and blood... and there were countless of realities that had yet to be taken to the pen in our own space, what could be said of that?

These thoughts brought me nothing but headaches. It was in line with the type of studies that my Father rooted himself into, and while I was curious - I didn't think I would able to sit down and have a reasonable conversation with the man anymore.

I look over his shoulder with a feeling of dread crawling up my spine.

"I've managed t-to get further along in the process. Every time I think I have a leg up on this thing, it crashes and I nearly have to start over from the beginning. It's frustrating. I guess it's a metaphor for my existence. I get up and I have to start from the beginning over and over... it's an endless cycle. I didn't think this would be such a hard task, but I knew you would be able to help me." Ray said. "And ever since I figured out that... that we'll be working on this for a while... it's a way to see each other."

I grip the hem of my sleeve in an attempt to keep my body grounded and swallow hard. "You've... gotten pretty far along," I agreed with him. "You didn't have this much undone the last time."

"I've worked for hours to get this much, Lila." He said. Ray looks back at me for a moment as he searches for a reaction he wants. "Aren't you proud of me? I did all of this without your know-how."

"I'm..." I trailed, unsure. What was I supposed to tell him? Hey, I know you are just living your life but in my world, you're just a character in a dating simulation and you don't exist. Yeah, that's going to go over well with anyone.

"It's impressive," I finally said. "But you didn't have to do all of this, Ray."

"I had to do this." Ray doesn't look away. This has been done so many times I can't even be sure what he does know and what he doesn't know about it. What they want to know is out of their reach, however. "The Savior needs whatever is inside of this. I don't entirely understand why it's so important... but it's my job. What is this to you, Lila? Every time I bring this up... you don't want to talk about it."

"It's not that." I take a step back from him and shake my head. "Look, Ray... somethings are better left unsaid. This kind of information isn't something that anyone should have their hands on, not in... not in this world."

That's the comment that makes even him more curious then he was. We both didn't talk about the difference in our worlds, it didn't come up in conversation and it was left to the wayside for the most part. He's going to try and figure this puzzle out. Ray stands from his seat and turns to face me directly. "How is it any different in your world?"

I look away from him. He doesn't need to know... no, I don't want him to know. That's it. If I tell him it only advances what he'll find out if he tinkers with the system any longer. Sooner or later, he's going to figure it out and there won't be any stopping what Rika wants. Do I want to delay that reaction as much as I possibly can?

"...I don't know if you're ready for that information, Ray." I say with the utmost sincerity.

"Don't you trust me, Lila?" His face is pained. He looks like I've kicked him while he was down on the ground. He looks as if he wants to come closer and have peace of mind with touch but he hesitates. This subject isn't something that's easy to explain, and I know he can see that I'm struggling. This is a line that I won't cross... not yet. "I don't understand. You said we were friends, and that we could trust each other."

"I do, Ray," I whisper, softly. "I'm just not sure that I trust that information with your Savior."

Ray goes quiet.

He doesn't say anything when I dropped that bomb on his lap. He just stands there and deals with the whiplash of information in his gut. His so-called Savior was the most important person in his life, and she had him on a string with a carrot at the end. But I had to be honest. I didn't trust Rika, and he knew that she had lied to him in some capacity through Claude whether he wanted to admit it to himself or not. "If I tell you what's on that app, I don't know if you'll be able to handle it... If I was in your position right now - I wouldn't be okay if someone told me what you want me to tell you, Ray." I said.

"...Can you at least answer a few things for me?" He looks at me expectantly and I reluctantly nod my head in confirmation. Ray turns back to his computers and searches his screen for something, rows of text are moving at a speed beyond my ability to read them, Ray doesn't stop until he hits a specific line of text in the document that's broken. "I know that this app looks like a dating simulation. Is that what it really is? Or is it something else?"

I hesitate, then I give an answer. "It is that, in my world, anyway."

There's no way to see what his face looks like from behind him, but I can only imagine how surprised he is to learn that Rika really did want him to bring her an Otome game to make Mint Eye stronger. "What's so damaging about a dating sim?" He asks, "Other... Other than the fact you thought you were... um, playing one here. Besides the point... um, I mean, what's so important about this one? I'm having a hard time trying to understand... I know I shouldn't ask so many questions but... I have to do my best to unlock this."

If Ray knew the truth about his past... he would know that Saeyoung never left him behind without thinking of his wellbeing. He left because he wanted his little brother to be safe, at last. That's all that I knew. There could have been even more information inside of the game that I didn't know about that could have opened the floodgates to information that could save them both.

But -

at the same time, if Ray could unlock the information and see it with his own eyes... he might not alright. The years of pain and conditioning wouldn't bode well against something like that. But Ray was the only chance that I had to learn the entire truth... he had to learn the truth sooner or later. But when would ever be the right time?

What was the right thing to do?

"Ray, would you promise me that you wouldn't tell anyone if I helped you with this?"

"Lila," Ray murmurs. He's nervous about the answer he's going to give... if he tells me, no, then it will go one way and if he says yes, it'll go another way entirely. "You know the Savior..."

I hold up my hand, wanting to quit his argument before it even started. "No. This has to stay between us, you have to promise me on our friendship - on the good faith that I have in you. If I help you do this... I want you to keep everything you see to yourself until it's fully completed. There are things in this that will destroy so many things, lives, included. It's technically not against any rules you have to follow or anything. You weren't supposed to give this to your Savior until it was done, right?"

He slowly nods his head.

"Then it's nothing that will cause you any trouble. I just... I need to know that you'll do this one little thing for me. This is beyond serious. Promise me, Ray," I say. "Cross your heart."

He swallows, "I - I promise."

I return my stride towards him and look at the monitor to locate the missing code from his text document. He's already gotten most of the functions pieced together, but images are corrupted files and character names are blotted out, along with bits of information mixed with random code. It looked like word and number vomit covered the entire screen. I could see where the story was supposed to play out. At least, bits and pieces of dialogue, they were right there to the naked eye. The names of the RFA were right in front of me but they were interlaced with numbers in odd places making them nearly unreadable without a hard look.

It took me a few minutes of searching through the document but I found something. I run my fingers against the screen and tap against a particular line in the messy script.

"Here," I said.

He follows my finger and purses his lip. "What is this...?"

I knew I was going to kick myself for saying anything but as long as Ray promised he would keep this quiet... I could spare something. It would buy me time to figure out what to do with my foresight. Ray would have to work hard if this was that broken. "There's a pattern for the corruption in this. I just noticed it, every time there's a name mentioned its blotched out by a certain array of numbers. If you were to say, use your technical know-how to make and run this through a decoder, it would override the error and allow you to see more information."

"How could I have missed this...?" Ray said, voice falling flat. "I'm such an idiot. Even you can see what I can't."

I shook my head. "You've been staring at this for a long time. You're bound to miss something if you've had nothing but this to look at. Fresh eyes always make a difference when you're struggling."

"You don't have to reassure me," he said. "I know you only do it to make me feel better."

That's not why I do what I do. I can see something in those words that reminds me of a ghost that I once knew. "I do it because I want you to believe in yourself more," I say, instead. "That's all, Ray."

"You've given me more then I had, and that's all I could ask for." Ray looks forward all of the information in front of him. He's been doing this for weeks, and this is all that he's managed to get control of. I have everything that he doesn't - but he doesn't press any harder then he has been doing, out of respect for my promise. I don't know what to tell him after that. Maybe that's why I'm so surprised when he changes direction and asks something else. "Why do you look like that?"

"Like what?" I cast my eyes down.

"You look like..." Ray whispers, but he leaves the sentence incomplete for a moment. He's close now with his hand resting against my own on the monitor; Underneath our fingertips could be the end of the RFA or the very thing that can keep them safe. It all depends on who is in control of it, and what they choose to do with that. "You're scared."

He knows why I'm shaking. I can't stand the way he's looking right through me. "If you ever unlock this on your own, I don't know if you'll ever trust me again."

I can see his reflection looking right at my own. My self-doubt is suddenly a surprise to him of all things. "Lila, how could I ever not trust you...? You've always trusted me... even though I've done awful things, terrible and stupid things to get you to stay here... You've always had faith in me. I want to do the same for you."

And I hope that's the case. I really hope it is.

The future in front of us will be lost if this doesn't go right.

"Thank you, Ray."

AUTHOR'S NOTE.

Oh, how the worry has grown for poor Lila.

Solid reminder that: Does anyone want something written? I'll write you a one shot with any characters of your choice for cheap, I need money to get out of a shitty and emotionally-brutal household and it's going to take a while to stock-pile the money. PM if you're into that.