Chapter 14 A Sword of Courage
(How Deep is Your Love)
" Black I would rather die than marry you," Marlene spat. Lily glanced at her friend from the corner of her eye with exasperation. She felt someone groan and lean his head on her shoulder.
" Too fucking bad McKinnon. You're going to marry me so stop being such a bitch," Black exclaimed. Lily glanced at him and leaned her head against the head resting on her shoulder. She sighed and closed her eyes against the head of gold curls.
" I'll give them an hour. After that I'll slap Padfoot and you can slap McKinnon," Jason muttered. Lily raised an eyebrow lazily and pulled her knees into her chest. She felt Jason wrap an arm around her shoulder and leaned into his hold.
"They've been arguing for two hours Jace! I'm giving Black five minutes to shut up before I rip his hair off," Lily threatened. She felt Jason's lips tug into a tired grin. Lily looked over at the door of the room with a scowl. Behind it was an entire hallway of collapsed walls and stones, which prevented her from leaving the room. Lily's wand was outside of the room with Jason's, Marlene's, and Black's wands. She shot the feuding couple in front of her a glare. Lily loved Marlene, but after two hours of listening to Marlene threatening to castrate Black, Lily was tired.
The room that the four students were in was a small classroom on the east wing of the castle. It was abandoned for the past fifty years, but it was a refuge from the destruction outside and inside of the room.
" Are you lot alright in there? The Headmaster has contacted the Ministry. They're sending help," Professor McGonagall's voice echoed from behind the door. It was faint, but that was due to the fact that the stern woman was an entire hallway away. Lily leaped up and Jason almost landed on the ground. She went over to the wall and cupped her hands around her mouth.
" We're okay. Black and Marlene won't shut up though," Lily shouted. She heard Marlene cry out indignantly. Lily glared at her; Lily was tired and cold. Marlene was only making this entire experience worse. Jason walked over to the wall and cupped his hands over his mouth in a similar way to Lily.
" Professor Lily's lying. Her arm is worse than before. She's losing too much blood," Jason shouted. He looked tired, Lily knew that she looked worse than him. There was a bleeding cut on his cheek and his clothing was ripped. Dust covered his shoes and his hair was thorn into chaotic curls. Lily touched her bleeding arm and scowled at him. It wasn't that bad. Sure, Black had to give her his cloak to try and stop the bleeding. And Lily might have felt slightly lightheaded, but that was only due to the current situation they were in.
" Jason I'm fine. Pomfrey will fix this in less than a second once we're out," Lily said in a vexed tone. Jason crossed his arms and scoffed. He grabbed her arm and pulled the blood-drenched tourniquet Marlene had made off. Lily grimaced at the sight of her raw flesh and the white bone peeking out. Jason looked almost green but he looked at her with an almost victorious note.
" Professor, McKinnon tied her wound up with Black's cloak but there's too much blood," Jason called out. Lily held her arm out and watched as blood fell to the ground of the room. She swayed slightly, and Jason didn't miss this. He ignored the bloody mass that was her arm and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, steadying her. Lily breathed raggedly and shot him a grateful expression. She bit her lip and stared at her grotesque arm. Thanks to the explosion, several pieces of stone ripped her skin off and embedded shards of glass from a window inside of her flesh. Marlene pulled the glass out during their first hour of being trapped in this room. Black was nauseated by the sight of Lily's arm and almost threw up in a corner.
" Mr. Gastor there isn't much we can do. The entire hallway collapsed and clearing the stone is taking more time than we thought it would. Try and keep Miss Evans awake at all times. I'll inform Malfoy once he returns from the Ministry," Professor McGonagall's voice called out.
Jason gulped and dragged Lily over to their seat on the ground. A series of dusty cushions that they had found in the classroom were on the ground. Lily sucked in a breath when she landed and her arm shoved back. Jason muttered an apology that she brushed away. Marlene walked over to them and checked Lily's arm again. Black followed her at a distance and stared at Lily's arm warily.
" We can't use that cloak anymore, it's too wet. Gastor, how do you feel about your shirt?" Marlene asked. Lily blushed as Jason tugged his ripped shirt off and handed it to Marlene. Marlene ignored Jason's formed chest and wrapped the shirt like a bandage around Lily. She then walked over to Black and continued their argument by slapping him across the face and calling him a man-whore. Lily sighed and leaned against her brother's shoulder. She could feel pain lance through the mess that was her arm; that was good, her nerves were still intact.
" Remember that time when we were five and you fell off your broom?" Lily asked. Jason twisted against the cold stone of the room and nodded. He brushed a curl off his forehead in annoyance and cleared his throat. Lily looked at his leg with concern; his ankle was swollen and bruised.
" Yeah. Mum screamed like a banshee when she saw that my arm was dislocated. I think she threatened to snap Lucian's broom since he passed me the quaffle," Jason answered with a fond smile.
" Then Julius calmed her down and took her inside with Cassius and Pericles. Dad and I stayed behind and I held your hand when he popped your shoulder into place," Lily reminisced. Jason nodded and his Adam's apple bobbled slightly.
" Dad told you something, remember what he said?" Lily whispered. The sounds of Marlene and Black's fight seemed to drown away in the background as she and Jason remembered their childhood.
" Sometimes the flight is worth the fall," Jason murmured. Lily nodded and looked over at her brother. He changed from the scrawny boy who was trying to hold his tears in. He was stronger and older. The war changed him, but it wasn't up to Lily to decide if it was for the worse or for the better.
" I think I know what he meant," Lily commented. Both of them didn't talk, there was no need for words. Jason knew what she meant and words wouldn't change that. No matter how much she tried to keep flying, eventually Lily was going to fall. But it was up to her to make the journey worth it. Jason understood that perfectly. That's why he was letting her go, at least for now. She would be back eventually. But Lily wasn't ready to fall yet and being in England made her slowly tumble down to Earth. She had a chance to continue flying and for once in his life Jason chose to understand her. Lily was never more grateful for such an amazing brother. He cleared his throat and rubbed his hands together. Lily could see goosebumps on his arms.
" Lily, I won't tell James what you're doing. But I can't help you face the consequences of your actions. You'll have to do that on your own," Jason announced. Lily nodded and tucked a strand of blood-covered hair behind her ear.
" I'll be back Jace; I'm not leaving you again. I lost that bet so I'll spend Christmas with Potter. But I'm not coming back to Hogwarts, at least not until March. I know that there will be consequences for my actions but it's my choice. I don't have a lot of time left to make choices Jason," Lily answered. Her eyes droop slightly and she yawned softly. The bickering between Black and Marlene had stopped and Lily didn't know why.
" Lily, I love you enough to set you free. I know that this could be the one last thing you do for yourself. I'm just going to miss you a lot," Jason sighed. Lily reached up and met his gold eyes. She was wrong about one thing. It wasn't Julius; he was too harsh, he was the essence of the worst things their dad had to offer. It wasn't Pericles; he wasn't a fighter, Pericles just wanted to live his life without the horrors of England and Lily couldn't blame him. It wasn't Lucian; Lucian was almost a replica of their dad, he wanted the society they lived in to be his world. It wasn't even quiet Cassius, Cassius may have escaped but he would forever be haunted by the demons he created. It wasn't Lily, Lily was brave but she would never be able to love somebody so much that she could let them go. She loved them so much that they would haunt her forever. It was Jason; Jason was the Gastor child who was most like their mother. He never stopped loving someone; he loved Lily so much that he was strong enough to let go of her.
" I know Jace. But I need to fly one last journey," Lily answered. Her brother smiled wryly and met her eyes with a sad gaze.
" You'll be happy Lily. I'm almost annoyed that you won't tell me where you're going, but you'll be happy and that's all that I care about," Jason finished. Green eyes met gold eyes and a settlement was met. Lily knew that she couldn't risk telling anyone where she was going. Not even Michael or Marlene knew that she was leaving, let alone where she was going. She wasn't strong enough to see the abandonment on their faces. But Lily knew that she had to tell them the truth before she left. She had to prepare an owl to send a letter to Hogwarts on the first day that school started after the Christmas break. It would inform the school that Lily leaving the school, but that she would return.
She looked over at Jason and saw that he was sleeping against her shoulder. She smiled and leaned against his head and thought about what made her come to this decision. Lily remembered all the things that made her realize that she had to leave England even though it would mean not helping those suffering here. But if Lily accomplished what she was planning on, then she wouldn't be a danger to more people.
Jason, Marlene, and Black didn't know that it was her that caused that hallway to collapse. It was her that almost killed her best friend and brother. She was a monster, but Lily found a solution to this problem, it was the first solution she found in a long time. And right now Lily could use one less problem.
~Two months earlier~
" Fabian I don't care that it's Halloween! You can't dump 10 liters of pumpkin juice on me," Marlene cried out. Lily covered her grin as she examined Marlene. The tall girl was covered in a sticky liquid. Her makeup streamed down her face and her hair clung to her back in a muggy mess. Marlene caught Lily's gaze and glared at her.
" Evans don't laugh at me! You're not going to be left out I assure you. Once I get all of this off my hair, I'll be waiting in the shadows to prank you," Marlene swore. Lily shot her a cheeky grin and laughed.
" Can't do that Marlee! You've already picked someone to prank and I know it's not me. That leaves you and Fabian as the only people I can trust for the rest of the day," Lily declared. Her friends had a secret-pranking tradition running back from the time Marlene was in first year. Each person picked someone's name from a hat that Gideon procured back in his second year. They had until the Halloween Feast to successfully prank their victim. If they didn't complete a successful prank by the feast, then they were subjected to a naked-dive into the Black Lake at midnight. Frank volunteered to be the judge this year so Lily took his place in the competition. She smiled at the thought of the elaborate prank she had set up for her prankee. It was almost worthy of a Marauders' prank.
The Marauders had officiated prank week that began on the previous Monday and stretched until Halloween. The Halloween prank week was one of the Marauders' traditions. Another one was an annual prank war in April, which continued until every Marauder but one surrendered. It was cancelled the previous year to due Jason and Potter's parents' deaths. Because Jason was in the hospital wing from the previous Wednesday until Halloween, the prank week had been cancelled to the distress of many fangirls. Lily and Marlene burst into laughter after listening to a group of Hufflepuffs reminisce over the clothing vanishing spell that Potter had shot Jason and Black with during dinner last year. Lily was almost thankful that they couldn't do the prank week this year. She wouldn't be able to stomach the thought of either Jason or Black naked. She hadn't even seen Jason shirtless since they were seven and he went through a shirtless phase. Lily was hoping to find the pictures of a scrawny gold-haired boy to use as blackmail.
"Come on Lily, let's go to the table before Marlene hexes me," Fabian ordered. Lily nodded and glanced at Marlene's murderous face.
" I spent an hour putting my hair up this morning," Marlene grumbled as she left the hall to clean up. Lily bit her lip in guilt but Fabian's evil grin made her guilt disappear. He led her over to a sear in between Adam and himself. Lily shot him a worried look before taking a seat next to Alice. She grabbed a bowl of porridge from down the table near a group of fifth years to be safe.
" I love watching you lot being all cautious," Frank declared with a dark grin. Alice shot him a dirty look and shoved a piece of toast in his direction.
" Okay Mr. Judge stop being so high and mighty. Why don't you try some of my toast," Alice suggested. Michael stood and slapped the toast away from Frank's mouth. It landed on Alice's plate and she gaped at Michael.
" That's cheating! I knew that letting Frank be judge was a bad choice," Michael declared. Frank stared at Michael incredulously and rolled his eyes. Lily bit her lip to suppress the grin she was getting.
Gideon reached for the plate filled with scones. Suddenly the basket exploded and scones flew into the air and attacked the ginger. Gideon shouted in shock and shoved them away. Most of the students in the hall turned to see the spectacle. Lily started laughing when Gideon grabbed a butter knife and promptly slaughtered the army of scones. He turned to the group with an annoyed expression.
" Who did it?" Gideon asked. Lily looked around the group and gaped as Emmeline stood with a proud grin. She reached across the table and grabbed the last scone from the basket
" You're always eating all the cinnamon scones. Every morning since first year I come to the table only to see that you've confiscated all the bloody scones. I've waited seven years to get you back for taking all of them," Emmeline explained with a devilish grin. She took a bite of the scone with a victorious grin. Gideon shot her a defeated glare before sitting back down. Michael brushed a few crumbs from Gideon's shoulder and gave him an apologetic expression. The games were just starting…
" Lupin did you finish the essay on the Wolfsbane Potion?" Lily asked. She was lucky that none of her friends took Care of Magical Creatures. Every five classes, they had a practical lesson instead of their independent ones. Today Professor Grubbly-Plank had a friend of hers bring a Common Welsh Green Dragon baby from his reserve in Wales. Lily was sitting next to Lupin thoroughly bored, unlike her classmates. The Common Welsh Green was a pathetic excuse for a dragon in her opinion. Lily had seen real dragons like the Swedish Short-Snout and the Hungarian Horntail when her grandparents had taken her to Romania when she was eleven for her spring holidays.
The Common Welsh Green had nothing on the likes of the fiery Swedish Short-Snout and the dangerous Hungarian Horntail. The Welsh Green could be found practically throughout Wales. It was a small and slender dragon that preferred eating flocks of sheep than killing and lighting wizards on fire. The dragon didn't entrance Lupin, much like Lily. He looked at it with a bored expression and turned to Lily when she spoke. He grinned toothily at her and Lily repressed the shiver she got as she remembered the beast growling and snarling at her. It seemed as though Lupin had no recollection of this. Yet Potter and Jason seemed to be aware of her presence in the Forbidden Forest that night.
" Yes I did. Why aren't you enthralled by the fine dragon in front of us Evans?" Lupin asked. Lily shrugged and watched as the small creature clawed desperately at its cage.
" Those things are all over England. I'm sure that I saw one during the train ride to here," Lily answered. She turned to face Lupin. They sat in the back of the room and the lights were turned off everywhere but the front of the room. Her knees hit his and Lily pulled back.
" Right. I'm sure that there's at least two of them in the forest behind my house," Lupin declared in a low voice. Lily nodded and wondered for a moment where Lupin lived. Welsh Greens were only found in the mountains in Wales. Lily had only seen them when they were flying across the plains of England to get to Wales after hatching across the country.
" My mum's family used to live in Wales. She's from one of the few pureblood Welsh families actually. My dad is from France but we live in Bristol. He doesn't like the mountains. But we always go up there for a week or two during the summer," Lupin answered when he saw Lily's expression. She nodded and cleared her throat.
" That must be nice. I've only been out of London a few times," Lily answered. Lupin raised an eyebrow at her open lie.
" Like when you visit Jason over the summer? You seemed to know your way around the Gastor Manor pretty well,' Lupin commented dryly. Lily coughed and felt a blush rise to her throat.
" My family used to live in Manchester actually. I met Jason in a muggle park before I knew I was a witch. He saw me do magic and told me. But when I was nine, my family moved to Greece and later to France," Lily explained. Lupin nodded and met her eyes.
" Did you ever go to Jason's house?" Lupin asked. Lily narrowed her eyes and scowled at him.
" A few times with my mum and dad when his brothers were at school," Lily hissed. Lupin only nodded and looked to the front of the room.
" See I know for a fact that you're lying Evans. Most pureblood estates have charms on them that prevent muggles from entering. So I can believe that you were able to get into Jason's house, but not your supposed muggle parents," Lupin drawled.
Lily wanted to hit herself. That was one of the basic things she learned when she was a kid. She scowled at Lupin's figure and he looked over at her for a moment. His eyes flashed with curiosity.
" Last year both Prongs and Padfoot hated you. Now Prongs is acting like a stranger. He won't bring girls to the dorm anymore; he uses broom closets now. He can't go a bloody meal without looking over at you. And god forbid you speak to Wood! Prongs goes into rampages of destruction whenever that happens. Padfoot, well he used to side with me whenever Prongs did stuff for you. But now he actually teases Prongs about you. Evans you need to understand that my friends used to spend their days bullying muggleborns so badly that they would leave the school. It doesn't make sense for them to fawn over you," Lupin announced.
Lily's eyebrows arched at his story. She didn't know that Potter was watching her so much. She always thought that he was too distracted by the girl he usually had sitting in his lap. Or the girl he was winking at during class. Lily quickly set her face to blank and heard the bell ring. She grabbed her bag and stood.
" I don't know what you're talking about Lupin. You're in the hospital wing a lot, maybe you're hallucinating," Lily spat. She turned and fled the room before Lupin could say anything. She knew it was a low blow to say something like that to Lupin, but he was being nosy. Lily knew that she had to do anything she could to keep her secret a secret. Too many people knew who she really was. Her lies were forming knots and Lily was getting caught in a trap.
She entered the Great Hall and saw her friends sitting in a group. Some of them had airs of defeat around them. Lily grinned as she sat in between Marlene and Frank. She had the safest seat in the table. She grabbed a sandwich from the other side of the table and a large glass of water.
" So who's out?" Lily asked as she took a bite of her sandwich. Frank cleared his throat and took out a notepad from his bag.
" Marlene was out first when she walked into Fabian's prank and got drenched in 10 liters of pumpkin juice. Gideon is out from Emmeline's army of scones. During class today, Gideon got a sneak attack on Alice by making her potion turn into a lust potion. Thanks Gid, that was probably the best History of Magic class I've ever had since Alice was sitting next to me during the that class," Frank declared. Alice scowled at him and looked down at her food with a frown.
" Alice got Fabian during their free period. She managed to hit him with some charm that made him stand up in the middle of the library and sing a song that denoted his undying love for Madam Pince and her lust for books," Frank continued. Marlene burst into laughter from beside Lily. Fabian groaned and glared at Alice.
" Because of that I've got a week of detention and am officially banned from the library until I graduate," Fabian groaned.
" Too bad mate. That leaves everyone else out. The remaining people are Lily, Adam, Emmeline, and Michael," Frank announced.
" Actually I just got Emmeline," Adam announced. He slid in between Alice and Fabian and took an apple from the table. Emmeline followed him with a beat red expression. She slid in the seat across from him and stared at her plate.
" What did you do," Frank asked. Adam grinned raucously and looked at his girlfriend with a smirk.
" A gentleman never tells Longbottom," Adam declared. Lily noticed his and Emmeline's ruffled appearance and wrinkled her nose.
" Did McKinnon score?" Frank asked. Adam didn't answer, but he grinned at his apple. Lily blushed and looked down at Emmeline who was trying to hide her small smile. Before anyone could say anything though, Gideon let out a garbled sound. Lily saw where he was staring and gaped at Adam's hair.
" What's wrong?" Adam demanded. Most of the group, and several Gryffindors were staring at his hair. He grabbed a spoon and looked at his head. He placed the spoon down and clenched his jaw.
" Who did it? Who turned my hair neon pink?" Adam demanded. Alice raised her hand with a smile and Frank stared at her in wonder.
" I charmed it during DADA, I've been waiting all morning for it to finally activate," Alice answered.
" That leaves Michael and Lily," Frank announced. Lily finished her sandwich and stood before anyone could say anything. She met Michael's gaze with a twinkle.
" Wood you're an only child. You don't know the meaning of a good prank," Lily declared. Michael leaned across the table and met her gaze with a devilish grin.
" Evans you haven't endured a good prank in years. I on the other hand have won this competition over four times," Michael boasted. Lily saw his eyes look down at her plate with a small gleam. She immediately pushed her plate away and grabbed her bag from the bench before Michael could move. She stood and made her way out of the Great Hall. It wasn't Michael or his mock threat that sent Lily out of the hall; it was the sneak attack from her magic. Lily covered her eyes with her arm as she swung the door to the girls' loo open. She threw her bag down and looked in the mirror.
The veins surrounding the skin of her eyes were bold. Her irises look extremely large and the color seemed to dance with flames. The red veins of her eyes were sharp against the remaining white area. Lily leaned over the counter and clenched her eyes shut. She took a deep breath and shoved her magic back into its prison. It fought out and lashed against her. Lily groaned as she shoved against it with all of her strength. Her mind shoved it down and back into the secure prison from which it came.
When Lily opened her eyes, the veins had settled and her irises were a normal size and color. She splashed water on her face and tightened the knot of her ponytail. Hands reached for her forgotten bag and Lily scrambled out of the room. She walked briskly to Charms and kept blinking. How did her magic manage to escape? It only crept from its prison when Lily was emotionally insecure, and she wasn't insecure at that moment. Something was wrong; Professor Gladstone told her that her magic was growing. Lily doubted that she was strong enough to handle it.
She walked into the Charms room as the second the bell starting the period rang. Lily ignored Marlene's curious expression as she sat next to her. Lily pulled her notebook of parchment out and began scribbling out the notes on nonverbal spells. She didn't speak for the entire period; her thoughts were lost in a different world. When the period ended, Lily forgot about the prank she had planned for Michael. She couldn't concentrate at all. Her sense seemed to be heightened and adrenaline was burning in her veins. What was happening? She bolted from the classroom and went outside. Her legs were aching for a run. Lily headed down to the Quidditch pitch and changed into running clothing. She had to get rid of that excess energy somehow. She left her bag in the locker and laced a pair of sneakers on. Lily slipped a running jacket and a pair of athletic leggings on. She pulled her hair up into a tight ponytail and stretched her arms out as she walked to the pitch.
She frowned when the scene in front of her became clear. Lily blinked sharply and bit her lip. It was Monday; Slytherin practiced on Mondays. She could see Potter barking out orders to his team and Jason running routines with Black. Lily quickly turned and exited the Quidditch pitch. She would have to settle for a run around the Black Lake. Her feet pounded sharply against the surface of the ground as she ran. Arms moved back and forward and her body leaned up. Quick breaths entered her lungs and left as quickly as they came. She closed her eyes and continued running in the same pattern. She could feel the sun hit her and the crisp autumn breeze brush strands of hair from her face. But the energy wasn't leaving; it tightened its grip on her veins and sent bursts of lightning through her.
" Evans you've been running out here for almost two hours," someone shouted. The voice barely broke through Lily's concentration. Her eyes opened and she looked behind her. Potter was running behind her in a sprint. Lily frowned and wondered how fast she was running. She slowed down and Potter caught up to her. He was coated in a light layer of sweat and looked almost tired. Lily was surprised she was completely dry and her cheeks didn't even feel hot with a blush.
" I thought you preferred to run in the morning," Lily said dryly. She stopped running as they came closer to the castle. Her feet quickly slowed her pace to a jog as she led Potter over to the pitch. Lily stopped running and watched as Potter caught his breath. What was happening to her? She wasn't faster than Potter, so why was she fine and he was exhausted.
" If you're around then I can run at all times," Potter gasped. He leaned up and wiped the sweat from his brow, unaware that Lily was falling apart. She pulled her jacket off and clenched her eyes shut. Why was this happening? She wasn't emotionally distraught; she was fine. Something was changing inside of her. Lily took a ragged breath as she felt her magic swell. She swayed slightly and felt an extreme headache hit her. Suddenly someone touched her. Lily gasped and opened her eyes. She met Potter's concerned eyes with a pale face.
" Lily your eyes," Potter murmured. Lily touched the skin around her eyes and felt the veins popping up. Potter tried to wrap his arms around her, but she shoved them away violently. Lily turned from Potter and reached for the hemline of her pants. She pulled her wand out and shoved Potter away.
" Get away from me," Lily groaned. She needed Professor Gladstone; she needed someone to stop this power from growing. It latched onto every cell in her body and pulsed through her veins. Potter frowned at her and tried to grab her. Lily felt a small twinge of annoyance; but that was enough. She felt something grab control from her and thrash out at Potter, within a second. She looked at Potter who was staring at her with a horrified expression. Lily looked down and saw that her hands where ablaze with green fire. She clenched them and ran before Potter could move.
Her feet sent her shuttling into the forest. Trees and branches batted at her skin as she ran. An intense fear shot through her; she almost hurt Potter. Lily didn't like Potter, in fact she was close to loathing him more than Josiah Crichton, but she couldn't kill him. Technically, she had never taken a life. Her magic took almost ten lives, but Lily had never used it to kill someone. Yet in that flash of emotions, her magic seemed to bow to her. It wasn't the one that wanted to hurt Potter, she was.
Suddenly she stopped running. Lily looked around her and felt the magic inside of her reach out. It didn't act as though it was a part of her, but really it wasn't. Lily's magic was a dangerous creature that lived inside of her. It wanted; no it craved control of her. It wanted to set the world ablaze and see ashes fall. Green eyes looked down to Lily's hands. She could see her veins sticking out. Her magic preferred to ignore her body and instead shot itself through her. It was killing her, and there was nothing she could do to control it.
Lily heard lightening flash in the background. She could feel her magic give a cry of fear. That was all she needed. Lily quickly grabbed control and sent her magic back into a stronger and tighter cage. She used all of her willpower to lock it away. Why was it afraid of lightning? Questions popped into Lily's head, but she was too tired to even think about them. Her legs leaned down and she fell into a kneel. She let her head lean back and felt drops of water fall on her skin. It was raining, but the heavens seem to be crying. Thunder sounded in the background and lightening flashed in front of her eyes. Lily opened them and saw that she was in the Forbidden Forest. Her clothes were slashed and her skin was bleeding in several places. But she had control and that was all Lily cared for. She stood and gained her balance slowly.
Dusk was just starting. The sun wasn't clear though. Storm clouds covered the sky and fat drops of water cascaded down. Lily remembered how her mum once compared rain to the soldiers of the heavens. She thought that rain could save the souls of the lost.
This memory flickered in Lily's mind as she walked through the forest. Her feet crunched the wet floor of the woods as she walked back to the castle. Lily didn't' have the best sense of direction, but she followed the trails of muddy footprints back to school. She was thoroughly drenched and cold. Her arms wrapped around her chest as she made her way through the forest. Lily frowned and took her wand out. She muttered a quick heat charm and felt it encase her clothing. The warmth of her charm comforted her. Against the bleak grays and browns of the forest, Lily stood out. Her hair looked like a mess of bloody clumps and her skin appeared to be even paler in the light of the lightening. Her eyes were normal once again yet they were a rich emerald green that could be mistaken for a muggle light.
She could hear something walking through the forest. Lily shivered when she remembered all of the creatures that Professor Grubbly-Plank told them resided in the Forbidden Forest. She sped up and slipped on some mud. Lily clumsily grabbed a tree and fell against it. She felt her hand scrape against the rough bark and hissed when she saw the rivulets of blood pouring from the inside of her right palm. Rain fell with the blood and it hit the floor of the woods. Lily scowled and tugged on the hem of her shirt. She placed the cloth over her cut and began walking again. She could see the outline of the castle and the pitch from where she was. Long legs carried her over to the glowing castle.
She sighed with relief when she exited the outskirts of the forest. Lily made her way to the pitch and went into the locker rooms. Potter wasn't anywhere around, but Lily had left a long time ago. She wondered what time it was. After looking at her muddy and scraped appearance, Lily used several cleaning charms and healing charms on her scrapes and cuts. Her palm was still bleeding though. Lily grabbed her bag and swung a cloak over her form. She twisted her hair into a bun and rubbed the water from her skin. She checked the time and noticed that the Halloween feast had already started. Lily scowled and shut her locker. She sprinted up the path and made her way into the castle. Lightning flashed in the background; something inside of her shook with fear as she looked up at the stormy sky. Lily ignored the foreboding feeling the lighting gave her and walked to the Great Hall.
The feast was in full session. People spoke loudly and enjoyed the grand dishes on the tables. Lily slipped into the hall without anyone noticing her. She sat at the end of the Gryffindor table and took her cloak off. Lily scowled at the sight of her bloody shirt and torn pants; magic could only do so much to fix her appearance. She grabbed a napkin from the table and pressed it against her cut. Lily knew that a trip to the hospital wing was in order. She tied the cloth against her cut and moved her almost blue fingers with annoyance.
Something was happening to her. Professor Gladstone was in Azkaban so there was no way Lily could contact her. Dumbledore was out of the country and no one knew where he was. Lily was running out of people to talk to. She couldn't ask any of her relatives about this since they were all dead. She needed Dumbledore, but Dumbledore was gone. Lily looked down at her plate and rubbed her forehead. She had to do something. The lack of control she just experienced, she couldn't go through that again. It was too much for her to handle. She couldn't handle that kind of power; it was pure destruction and anarchy.
Her eyes shut for a moment and a face flashed in front of her eyes. Delphina Gastor, her mum carried the gene. She was dead, but Lily had her journal. Her fingers moved to the bag resting by her side and Lily pulled out a faded notebook. The notebook refused to open during the last time she wanted to use it, but that was over two weeks ago. Lily moved to pull the cover open when she heard someone call her name out. Her eyes looked up to meet a pair of frantic blue ones.
" Lily why are you here? Didn't you hear," Marlene demanded. The tall and lithe girl walked over to Lily and grabbed her by the shoulders. Lily stared at her in confusion while she slipped the notebook back into her bag.
" Marlee what's going on?" Lily asked. She could see tears brimming in her friend's eyes. The usual collected and beautiful Marlene McKinnon looked frazzled. Her hair surrounded her face in chaotic locks. Lily could see that her shirt was slightly ruffled and her skirt was wrinkled. Marlene's dark blue nail polish shone on the fingers that were wrapped tightly around a wand. Lily turned and noticed that some people in the hall were looking at them. She didn't notice that all of her friends were absent from their seats in the middle of the table. Marlene met Lily's eyes and she could see the dread and horror present in her friend's eyes.
" It's Michael Lily. He's dying," Marlene whispered. Lily felt her heart shatter at Marlene's words. She stood clumsily and grabbed Marlene's shoulder. Lily could feel her magic trying to escape; but she didn't let it. She screamed at it and fought against it before it could even move. It slinked back to its prison with reluctance.
" He was in the dungeons doing extra credit with Slughorn. When he left, some Slytherins picked a fight with him. His chest, Lils it's horrible. Oh Merlin I didn't realize it was that bad. They removed his bandages and shot spells at his cuts. Right before the feast started, Frank and Emmeline were on patrol in the dungeons. They found him and took him to the hospital wing. Professor McGonagall wants him to go to Mungos," Marlene explained.
Lily bit back the bile in her throat and closed her eyes. She could see burned flesh and smell the scent of fire. His blood was everywhere; it covered her and it drenched his skin. She opened her eyes and shoved those memories away; Lily couldn't deal with them. She had to be strong for Michael. Her hands reached for her bag and Marlene pulled her towards the large doors muttering things. Lily looked behind her back and almost threw up.
Hazel eyes met hers in a tumultuous storm and Lily knew that Potter did this. She could see a proud air surround him. Lupin told her that Potter didn't like it when she was with Michael. She remembered Potter's eyes narrowing with rage when she wore Michael's cloak the previous day. This was her fault. Potter warned her and she ignored him. Lily didn't think that he was that much of a monster. How could he do something like this? She clenched her jaw and turned away from Potter.
Lily could hear the girl sitting on his lap giggling and his deep laughter as she left the Great Hall. She would not marry that loathsome excuse for a human. Potter was too evil and horrific for her. She couldn't stand him; and now he had done the one thing that made her actually hate him. Lily almost wanted to kill him. This shocked her; she never felt this kind of sadistic urge before. This was disturbing; how could she want to kill someone? A small voice in her head told her that Potter deserved it. He killed so many people and tortured even more. But that was wrong.
Marlene tugged Lily into the hospital wing. She dragged her towards a bed. Lily could see most of her friends standing near it. Frank was speaking to Gideon near the bed. She frowned when she saw that Emmeline and Adam were arguing. Alice and Frank sat in the two chairs near the bed. Lily gulped as she walked over to the bed; she wasn't ready to see Michael like this.
The first thing she noticed wasn't the blood and the opened flesh. It was Michael's eyes. They were contorted in twisted agony that Lily could never understand. Sweat covered his forehead, and someone pulled his hair back. His chest was exposed and his cuts were open. Blood appeared from the cuts and suddenly disappeared. It was Pomfrey's work. His eyes made contact with Lily and he tried to smile. Lily immediately flew to his bedside and grabbed his hand. She sat on the edge of his bed and rested her hand in his hair.
" Lily remember what you told me back in the ruins of the old Auclair Manor," Michael croaked. Lily bit her lip and remembered the words she told him to keep him from dying. He couldn't die like this; she wouldn't let him. Lily blinked and choked back her tears. She had to be strong; not only for him but also for herself. She wasn't strong enough to pull herself back together if he died.
" Yeah I do. But Michael you're not going to die today. Healers from Mungos are coming, you're going to be fine," Lily assured. His hand twitched in her hold and he smiled at her. Lily's heart fell at that smile; it was filled with an all-knowing sense. He moved his hand up and brushed her arm with trembling fingers.
" Lily I'm not five; I know what dying is," Michael answered in a hoarse voice. He coughed and looked up at the ceiling. His skin was too pale. Lily quickly grabbed his hands and squeezed them.
" No you can't die Michael. You promised to be my partner. You're supposed to make sure that I get drunk and learn how to hold down firewhiskey. You're going to live and fight by my side Michael. You're not dying today," Lily argued. She could feel tears streaming down her face and sobs starting to form in her chest. Michael closed his eyes and fell asleep with a small smile. Lily shook his shoulder and shouted his name. No he couldn't fall asleep; he couldn't fall asleep. Sobs erupted from her chest and Lily felt someone grab her. She pushed them away and moved to Michael. He was the first person she trusted in England. He was supposed to be her partner; her dueling partner.
A wizard or witch's dueling partner was the person they trusted with their life above all. A dueling partner was like the ultimate friendship. Lily knew that her mum and Apolline Kingsmill had one. Fabian and Gideon Prewitt performed the ceremony over the summer while Lily was in Greece, according to Marlene. Lily never thought that she could trust someone enough to ask him to be her dueling partner after Benjy Auclair's betrayal. But Michael gave her the strength to want him. She was going to ask him to be her dueling partner once she turned seventeen.
" Mr. McKinnon and Mr. Prewitt please get Miss Evans away from Mr. Wood! The Healers have arrived; they need to treat him immediately," someone declared in the background. Lily protested as someone grabbed her and pulled her away from Michael. She could barely see his figure from behind her tears. Two people were dragging her out of the hospital wing. Lily shoved against their shoulders and tried to get back to Michael. No one except her understood what he was going through.
She had to be there for him. She abandoned him when he needed her. None of their friends understood what they went through in their kidnapping. Lily needed Michael and he needed her. She needed someone to anchor her to reality; she needed him. Michael was different from Potter or Galen. He didn't have Potter's passion or fire. He didn't make Lily feel alive and safe. He wasn't like air; Galen was something that Lily needed to live. Michael was simply her best friend. They both knew in their hearts that they were destined to be dueling partners. But things didn't always go in favor of destiny. Lily knew that sometimes she had to fight against destiny, other times she had to fight for it.
She stopped protesting when the doors of the hospital wing closed. Lily blinked and looked around. Adam and Fabian stood near her with concerned looks. Emmeline and Marlene were supporting each other's sorrows. Gideon, Alice, and Frank were speaking in low voices. They had each other; these people had been friends since their childhoods. They grew up with each other and grieved with each other. They carried each other's burdens with willing arms. And right now, even though Lily hadn't known them for even a year, they were carrying her burdens while balancing their own grief. She was so thankful for friends like this.
Her friendship with Benjy seemed innocent at the time. But as Lily examined it she could see the flaws in it. He was dark and she was light. He isolated her from their peers and made her reliant on his friendship. His death freed her from the shackles of a toxic friendship. Her friendship with Selena was pure and sweet. Yet the perils of Lily's dramatic life and Selena's normal life separated them. Jason was her brother; yet his abandonment broke her childhood. She was alone, until she met these people.
Their friendships weren't toxic. Emmeline and Alice were destined to raise their kids together. Frank and Adam were going to be each other dueling partners. Marlene and Gideon were close friends that bonded over something as simple as their love for the Appleby Arrows. Fabian and Michael were going to raise a Quidditch team of kids and play against each other. These bonds weren't dark and dangerous; they were light and free. Lily was so thankful for these people. They saved her when times got dark.
Suddenly Marlene grabbed her and pulled her in a tight hug. Lily returned it and sank into her friend's arms. No tears fell from her eyes, but that didn't mean that she wasn't in pain. Lily rubbed Marlene's back and soothed her friend. See the thing is, Lily is actually an excellent friend. She didn't know that her presence had the same impact on her friends that theirs had on hers. Lily gave Gideon the strength to let go of Dorcas and move on. She encouraged Marlene to not give up on her and Fabian's relationship, something that Marlene would be grateful for. She showed Adam that letting war get in the way of what he wanted wasn't living the life he was meant to. In a year, Lily would take a curse for Frank, a curse that would've drove him to the brink of insanity. During the summer she would be there for Emmeline when her world would start to fall apart. Lily didn't know how much her presence helped her friends. But then again, she didn't see the good in her.
Slowly the group made its way to the common room. They ignored the stares of curious students as they headed up their respected staircases. Alice and Frank went to the boy's dorm. Soon Emmeline went to seek comfort in Adam's arms. Marlene followed Emmeline to the boys' dorm after Lily assured her that she was fine. Lily spent the night doing homework; she knew that there was no way she could get any sleep. She plowed through her assignments and planned Quidditch practice for the next week. When it was three in the morning, neither Marlene nor Emmeline had returned to the dorm. Lily stretched her back and cleaned her stuff. Lily needed to do some mindless work to distract herself from the world. But her hands trembled as she worked.
Around four, the dorm was spotless and Lily took a long shower. She left the loo after using a hair removal charm on her legs and smelling of her strawberry shampoo. After changing into her uniform and filling her bag with the materials she needed for the day, Lily sat on her bed. Her mum's notebook sat in her hands and the fall air came in through the open window. Lily managed to clean the entire dorm, including Marlene's disaster of a desk. It smelled of the perfumes the three girls used and fresh air.
Lily tapped her fingers on the cover of her mum's journal as she tied her hair into a set of Dutch Braids. She tied two small ribbons at the bottom and looked down at the frayed journal in her lap. Her fingers slowly pulled the cover up and she closed her eyes and opened to a random page. Lily looked down at her mum's handwriting and hoped that it would lull her to comfort.
Perry loves to tease me about being the perfect daughter. He says that I love all the girly stuff like painting and sewing; that I'm an expert at baking and cooking. My grades and grace are things that every elite family would kill for. He says that mother and father adore their perfect daughter. See he's wrong. Perry is the perfect son. He's athletic, smart, charming and kind.
He sent in his application to the auror department today. Julius sent his in too. I'm scared for them. I love my brother and my Jules above everything. I don't think that I could live without them. Jules told me that once school is over he plans to ask my father for my hand. That's ridiculous though! My parents adore both of the Galen siblings. I adore both of them. Apolline is the sister I always wanted and Julius is the love of my life. We're a nice group; Leander, Julius, Pericles, Apolline, and myself. I can imagine us raising our children together and growing old. Perry would be the uncle that traveled the world on dangerous auror missions and loves to spoil Julius's children and my.
I had the strangest dream the other evening. I could see myself holding this baby. He looked like an angel. I swear this child had these vivid gold eyes and gold hair. It wasn't blonde; it was a small tuft of golden hair. The child didn't look much like me, but he had my jaw and dimples. It was strange to see a child like that. My sons will have Julius's black hair and my green eyes. My daughter, that's if I ever have one, will have Julius's ocean blue eyes and my red hair. I can see it so perfectly. My future is a truly lovely castle in the sky.
Lily shut the book. She couldn't read that. Her mum's life before she met William Gastor seemed so perfect. And it ended so tragically. Two deaths destroyed a world that Lily would never know. She knew the truth now. Her mum lost her brother and first love to the same man who took her parents. The last member of the Lilius family, Judea, was rotting away in a cell for attacking her niece, only to hit her nephew with the curse instead. They were such a twisted, broken family. But Lily didn't know that the Lilius family's last remaining true member, Judea Gladstone, would be dead before the end of the year.
She stood and threw the book into her bag. Lily checked the clock and saw that it was time. She grabbed her bag and wrapped her cloak tightly around her shoulders. Lily exited the Gryffindor Tower with a set expression. She had work to do. She headed down to the grounds and welcomed the chilled air. Marlene had healed her hand and all that remained was a puckered scar, which would fade to nothing within a day.
Lily stood in front of the Black Lake and waited. She could see the waves of the water lapping at the bank. The sky wasn't exactly clear. It was muggy and covered in thin clouds. Wind whipped through the scene and leaves fell to the ground in a slow glide. She left her bag near the white barked tree by the lake and walked back to her stance near the bank of the river. Her eyes shut and Lily breathed in the clear air.
" It's a bit chilly? Want me to warm you up with a kiss?" a voice purred. Hot breath hit Lily's ear and she opened her eyes. He was finally here. Lily quickly turned and shoved Potter's body away. His hair stood up in random clumps and he wore a pair of shorts and a long sleeve t-shirt. Lily scowled at him and crossed her arms with a frown. Potter tried to move closer to her so she kicked him in the shin. He let out a grunt of pain and his eyes flashed with rage. Lily froze as he walked up to her. She waited until his angry face was only inches from hers before she pulled her arm back and made a fist. Something cracked and Potter let out a curse. She looked down at her hand and Potter was clutching his nose. Lily watched him take his wand out and fix his nose with an angered expression. She held her arms down by her sides and he met her eyes. Dried blood was still on his face. Potter pushed his chest against her and Lily glared up at him.
" What made you stupid enough to punch me?" Potter hissed. Lily met his eyes and narrowed hers. He actually looked angry; Lily took a limited burst of joy from that. She licked her lips and Potter's eyes looked down at them.
" Why did you hurt him? He's dying Potter. Michael is fucking dying," Lily seethed. Potter looked up and smirked. He relaxed and wrapped an arm around her waist. He tapped her nose and Lily jerked her head away from him.
" I told you that I don't like it when people play with what belongs to me," Potter announced. Lily tensed and felt a pang of pain enter her. She blinked and met Potter's eyes with a fierce stare.
" You're so petty Potter! Michael is my friend; I never had feelings for him. He is dying because you are possessive and just cruel. Don't you see? I can't stand to even look at you anymore. It was one low blow to beat up Davies but it's plain inhumane to almost kill my friend," Lily roared. She shoved Potter off her and clenched her fists. Potter's eyes flashed dangerously. A storm of anger and rage appeared in his eyes.
" Lily you didn't seem to understand my first warning. I'm letting you continue to pretend to be a muggleborn, if you continue to annoy me then I'll make sure that Jason tells Malfoy the truth about who you really are," Potter threatened. Lily bristled and pushed her body against his. She couldn't stand that arrogant smirk.
" Jason would never do that to me," Lily snarled. Potter looked down at her with something close to pity. He grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head and threw it to the ground.
Lily blushed and looked away from his chest and abdomen. Quidditch practice and good genes had left Potter with a chiseled six-pack of amber skin. Potter turned and showed Lily a single tattoo engraved on the surface of his right upper arm. She remembered seeing the same exact tattoo on Black. The four animals in the crest seemed to almost glow on Potter's arm.
" The brotherhood of the Marauders Evans. Nothing, not family or love is stronger than it. Even being a death eater isn't as important as our bond. Jason may be your brother but he is mine first," Potter explained. Lily knew that he was right. Jason took a slicing jinx for her, but there were still limits to family. Lily hoped that she would never be alive to see to see Jason choose between her or Potter.
" That means nothing to me Potter. I couldn't give a damn about your blackmail. My friend is going to die since you were so selfish. I can't marry you Potter. You're too hateful and dangerous. You hurt the people I love," Lily exclaimed. Potter's eyes flashed as he moved to wrap his arms around the troubled girl. The sun has just started to rise and its light hit the pair. Lily tried to fight him but he shushed her.
" Lily your words mean nothing to me. I assure you that if I wanted, I could have you turn into one of those whores who follow me around," Potter stated in factual voice. Lily gulped and bit her lip.
" What's stopping you from doing that once you turn seventeen?" Lily asked in a bitter voice. Potter grabbed her chin and shoved her face to his. She looked into his eyes with surprise.
" Because you're a fighter. I want to see you willingly submit to me," Potter answered. Lily jerked her chin out of his grip and shoved his arms away. She walked over to the tree and grabbed her bag from the ground.
" Potter I will never give you the pleasure of seeing me walk down that aisle willingly. I will never forgive you if Michael dies because you were a petty asshole," Lily finished. Her voice was calm and cold, but that didn't keep a slight accent from warping into her words. Lily could see a bolt of pain flash into Potter's eyes. She turned and walked away from him victoriously, but victory didn't seem so sweet when her friend was in the hospital wing dying.
Over the next few days, Lily alternated her hours to keep herself distracted from reality. She spent innumerable amounts of time in the library and on the Quidditch pitch. She knew that Marlene had informed her friends that Lily's bed hadn't been slept in for over five days. Michael was being moved to Mungos on Saturday evening. Her teachers shot her concerned looks when she stopped using concealment charms on the bags below her eyes. Lily didn't see a point in using them. What was the point in hiding how she really was doing? She avoided meals since Potter and his gangs of arses were always staring at her. Instead Lily lived off practically nothing. It took her two days to run out of work. She planned out every Quidditch practice until the upcoming Gryffindor-Ravenclaw game. She did every homework assignment and extra credit for the next month. Lily read so much that her eyes protested whenever she looked at letters.
She couldn't fly though. It reminded her too much of Michael. It killed her that her friend would never be able to fly again. The healers didn't let her or anyone near him. They were getting morbid about his condition. Lily was losing it and everybody around her could see that. On Friday morning, Lily sat in Herbology taking a set of notes on some hybrid plant breed from the coast of Spain. She could feel Jason watching her and gritted her teeth. Lily couldn't afford to think about him. When she thought about him she thought about Potter and when she thought about Potter she remember Michael. Lily shoved a strand of her hair away before angrily shoving it up into a tight bun worthy of Professor McGonagall. She rubbed her eyes and could feel the deep indentations of her black circles. A snobby Ravenclaw asked if someone had punched her; Lily almost punched her.
She looked down at the bandage still wrapped around her left hand. Her detentions with Malfoy ended on Wednesday, but the deep scar didn't leave. Lily rubbed the bandage and felt a bolt of pain lance through her hand. She felt her magic try to escape and quickly barked and thrashed at it. Lily was not in the mood to deal with her magic's dramatics. She picked up her quill and started scrawling out a set of notes. Lily bit her lip when she felt a ball of paper hit her back. She scowled and internally wanted to hex Marlene. Lily had to avoid her friends. She couldn't look at them without seeing Michael's ravaged back and his blood. Every time she thought of him, Lily could see the fire rising and choking her to death. She couldn't show weakness, especially with Malfoy subbing as the DADA teacher until the new one showed up. He was a menace to the school; Lily often comforted a crying second year over his cruel lessons. She had to keep herself together; even though she knew that there was going to be an inevitable fall.
Her quill snapped and Lily watched as it lit ablaze. She didn't notice that Jason threw the quill to the ground and shot her a worried look. Lily just reached into her bag and pulled another quill out and continued writing. Her hands were constantly trembling. She was like a hyperactive dog; Lily was a ticking time bomb. The only question was when she'd blow up. When the period ended, Lily was already out of the classroom. She couldn't stand the stares or the questions people wanted to ask her. They didn't understand what she was going through. Michael's pain was her fault. She could have said that bloody name that day when they were being tortured. She could have stopped her magic sooner and prevented the explosion. She could've not taken Michael up to the Shrieking Shack that day. She should've stayed in the grounds with him. Then none of this would've ever happened. The shame and guilt that Lily shoved away was coming back. All of this was her fault.
It was her fault that Michael was in the hospital wing dying. It was her fault that Adam and Emmeline were fighting over Merlin knows what. It was her fault that Marlene and Fabian spent lunch only staring at each other, but never touching. It was her fault that Frank was beating himself up over the fact that a werewolf in the forest could've mauled her and Adam. It was her fault that the world was falling apart. She was a walking train wreck. Since there was a double Herbology period, Lily had lunch then History of Magic. She walked into the Great Hall for the first time in weeks. What she saw made her stop walking. Standing near the front of the room, with a ring on his finger and a scar slicing across his neck, was her sun. Galen Kingsmill in all of his auror glory stood in the front of the Great Hall.
Lily immediately sprinted towards him and threw her body around his. He tensed for a minute but relaxed when he saw Lily's green eyes. Galen wrapped his arms around her and Lily sobbed openly into his shoulder. She knew that people were watching her, but honestly Lily didn't care. She needed someone to be her beacon of light in the world of darkness that she was trapped in. Galen pulled her down the hall and led her outside. But Lily didn't notice; she just needed him. Galen pulled her up and frowned at the sight of the deep bags under her eyes and the taut skin on her face.
" What are you doing here? I thought you had a mission for the next two weeks" Lily asked. Her friend squeezed her shoulder and stood up with a straight back. Lily watched the horrific scar on his neck ripple as he ran a hand through his hair.
" I finished it early Rose. Bagnold has barely any control over the Ministry, but once she heard about the son of two famous and deceased aurors being attacked to the brink of death, she decided to send some aurors to Hogwarts. I volunteered since Lucretia is out of commission thanks to a nasty cruciatus and fire spell combo. Bishop and Moody are back, but Moody's got some new, err, body parts. I heard that France is declaring its loyalty to the British Ministry after a bad giant attack up north. They've sent a few aurors over including a pal of mine. He's due to arrive soon actually," Galen explained in a low voice.
Lily nodded and crossed her arms. The last she heard of France was that it was leaning towards Voldemort's efforts. Things must be really bad there for them to side with the Ministry here. She could feel Galen's eyes analyzing her figure but he didn't say anything.
" Michael Wood is a very close friend of mine. I was going to ask him to be my dueling partner when I turn seventeen," Lily stated. Galen sucked in a breath and looked over at the Black Lake. Lily knew what had happened to Galen's past dueling partner, Tristan Everett. The boy was Galen's best friend from the Athenian School of Sorcery. He had planned to be an auror just like Galen, but during their training he got caught by a rogue vampire. His body was found dry of blood and Galen never forgot about it.
" I didn't know that Rose. Shit I should've written more," Galen muttered more to himself. Lily didn't answer immediately. She looked at the lake with dry eyes and cleared her throat.
" How'd Bagnold get aurors past the School Governors?" Lily asked. Galen grinned sheepishly and indicated to his robes.
" Easy. She said that the best people to teach DADA were the ones who actually knew about the subject. Starting Monday I'll be teaching sixth and seventh years. Call me Professor Kingsmill," Galen teased. Lilt raised her eyebrows and mulled this over. Galen knew more that most aurors in England about werewolves and Dark creatures. He could take down a death eater or army of inferi in seconds. He was the best choice to teach the future witches and wizards of England. Yet he was so young. Galen was only two years older than Lily. But he was old for his age.
" I prefer Gale," Lily said dryly. Galen smiled at her and shoved her lightly. Lily ruffled his hair mockingly and turned to the castle. She couldn't risk skiving off any more classes. Galen walked with her to Herbology.
" Dad is doing well according to Selena. She stops by on weekends to visit him. Your brother, Pericles, works with him so he updates Selena. I think she has a crush on him," Galen informed Lily. She nodded and bit the side of her lip. Mr. Kingsmill wrote to her about Pericles asking for Selena's hand in marriage. Lily didn't know if she should tell Galen the extent of their siblings' relationships.
They walked in silence through the castle. Lily could see Galen looking around the castle with a curious eye. Hogwarts wasn't anything like the sprawling ruins in Greece or the Athenian School of Sorcery, which was located in the sea on a remote island that only wizards and witches could get on. When the pair reached the History of Magic classroom, Galen handed Lily her bag and pressed a light kiss to her cheek. She frowned but he leaned in to her ear.
" I have to talk to you. It's about your aunt Judea," Galen whispered. He pulled up and Lily nodded. She heard someone clear his throat and looked behind Galen.
" Excuse me Lily and I have class," Potter hissed from behind the auror. Galen shot him a troubled look before letting him walk through. Potter walked into the classroom without a glance back.
"I should go, I've got some work to do," Galen muttered. He squeezed Lily's shoulder and walked away. His gold robes swayed behind him. Lily bit her lip as a grin spread across her face; she hadn't smiled for the past five days. Her feet carried her into the classroom and she pulled out her notes for History of Magic. The bell rang and Professor Binns began speaking about the spread of Magic in the early days of the Greek Empire. Lily knew most of the notes since in Greece that was their History of Magic. Yet she wrote every word in meticulous handwriting.
" How's Wood doing? I heard that he doesn't have much time before they send him to Mungos," a deep voice asked. Lily's fingers tightened around her quill and she remained impassive. Her quill scrawled out two more sentences before Potter finally touched her. He moved for her waist and Lily twisted his arm away. She didn't look up; Lily refused to acknowledge Potter for the past five days. Whenever she looked at him, she could hear his cruel words. She could see him hurting Michael.
" I see that your auror pal is here. Why did he come to the castle? I doubt it's to make sure that you're safe," Potter jeered. Lily clenched her jaw but didn't show a single reaction. That was what Potter wanted. He wanted to see her break and snap at him. Lily couldn't give him that pleasure. Michael was dying since she even bothered to interact with Potter. Lily owed that much to her friend. For the rest of the class, Potter kept trying to goad her. But he seemed to forget that Lily came from a household of five older brothers and dealt with a year of being a joke; she could handle Potter's cruelties.
" Evans it's up to you to talk. I can continue this all day but I'm sure that you can't. I'm not going to leave you alone until you speak to me," Potter threatened. Lily gulped and looked over at him with a cold glare.
" Potter I have nothing to say to you," Lily answered. She didn't notice how hoarse her voice was from lack of use. When she turned to face Potter, he seemed to notice the telltale signs of pain and grief on her face. His eyes flickered with pain when he saw the huge circles under Lily's eyes. Her voice had traces of agony and hatred in it. Her words warped with an accent she didn't even bother to hide.
"Evans why are you doing this to yourself?" Potter whispered. His fingers grazed her collarbones and Lily pulled back. She couldn't take Potter's comforting touch; Lily deserved all of the torments she brought on to herself. She knew that her robes were hanging from her figure due to her lack of interest in food. But everybody had his or her own way to grieve; Lily wasn't grieving. She was killing herself over the fact that her friend could be dying a painful agonizing death and it would be all her fault. She was to blame for Michael's suffering.
"Potter I can't sleep. I can't eat. I can't close my eyes without reliving every nightmare or demon I've ever been through. I keep seeing Michael in pain. I can't do this anymore, I can't be around you," Lily croaked. She shoved her stuff into her bag and stood. Her chair scraped against the surface of the floor as she ran from the classroom. She could feel Potter's hot gaze on her back as she ran. But Lily was breaking, and to keep herself together she had to run. Running from her problems saved her in the past and Lily could only do that. Her friends were in the Gryffindor Common Room so Lily couldn't go there. She stopped outside of an empty corridor on the seventh floor and caught her ragged breath. Lily's fingers were clenched shut and she could barely breathe. She was drowning in a crippling grief.
But Lily shoved it away. She had to be strong, not for herself but for the school. The students needed someone to carry their burdens for them and Lily promised Professor Dumbledore that she would be there for them. So instead of falling to the floor and bawling, Lily gathered the broken pieces of her heart and made her way to the library. She found a group of Hufflepuffs struggling over an assignment from DADA and assisted them. Lily comforted a second year Ravenclaw whose sister was on the missing column of the Daily Prophet. She pushed her own problems into a cabinet and locked them away. People needed her to help them, and Lily had do it.
While she was helping several first years with some Charms homework, the air in the library changed. Lily could feel the students staring at something. She turned and brushed a strand of hair that fell from her bun out of her eye. Standing in the entrance to the library was someone Lily never thought to see in England. She made eye contact with the man and frowned. The man walked up to her and pulled her away from the group of students she was helping.
" Auror Alex Moody you look healthy. How are things in France?" Lily asked. She analyzed the tall man in front of her. He looked safe and glowed with health. His hair was cropped short to his temple and the blue robes of the French auror department adorned his body. His mouth was pulled into a frown.
" As well as things can be during a war. I was selected to represent France in the battle against Voldemort. I got sent here when my partner died. Lily I know who you are," Alex explained. Lily frowned and he led her out of the library. They stood in the hallway that led to the library. Lily knew that Darcy Auclair's charm worked to prevent people from knowing who she was. But she let Moody remember her. Sometimes it's good to have a few hidden allies.
" Miss Gastor you once owned the previous estate of Darcy Auclair, correct?" Alex asked. Lily nodded and stared at him in confusion.
" Last week there was a death eater massacre in a town close to the manor. A few of them lit the manor ablaze when they discovered that muggles lived in the house. The muggle family burned inside and there weren't any survivors," Alex explained. Lily felt her gut twist in pain. That house was her home for three years. She felt guilt pound at her; innocent people died since she couldn't bear the thought of owning that house. Lily quickly shoved her feelings away and met Moody's stare with a blank face.
" I don't see how that's my problem Auror Moody. Now if you'll excuse me I have some work to attend to," Lily announced. She shoved past Moody with a careless air and headed down the hallway. Lily ignored the stares from groups of judgmental students as she headed down to the Great Hall. It was dinner and Lily only had three hours before she was due to meet with Auror Tonks. She ignored her friends and took a seat at the front of the Gryffindor table.
With a book in her hand Lily tried to eat, yet the sense of what was coming made her lose any hunger. This was it; the solution to her main problem was in sight. She could free herself and any other purebloods trying to get out of their betrothals. But a question sat inside of her head. If Andromeda knew how to get out of a betrothal then why hadn't she told anyone how to get out of it? But Lily couldn't afford to have thoughts like that. She had to push her emotions away in order to hold herself together.
She looked up from her plate and saw that Galen and three other aurors were sitting at the head table. He looked down at her and stared at her hand with critical eyes. Lily pushed her sleeve down to hide the bandage hiding her scar and ducked her head. She brushed some flyaway hairs from her face and stood on unsteady feet. She grabbed her bag and left the hall, barely holding her broken pieces together. Lily slid into her dorm and changed into a set of less conspicuous clothing. She transfigured her hair to a muddy brown before tying it into a bun. After several failed attempts at altering her eye color, Lily finally managed to get her eyes to settle on a mix of dark green and brown. She rubbed smudged makeup on her face to hide her creamy skin before slipping a long robe on. Marlene and Emmeline were spending their evenings either in the Common Room or in the boys' dorm.
She grabbed her wand from the surface of her bedspread and shoved a pair of dragon hide's skin boots on. Lily checked the clock on the wall of the room and saw that she had an hour before she was due to meet Andromeda. She reached into her bracelet and pulled her Gastor family ring out. Right before her hand exited the charm, it grazed a sharp edge. Lily jumped in surprise and dropped the ring inside of the charm. She reached for it and grabbed the sharp object from the bracelet. A knife with a gilded handle came out with her familiar Gastor family ring. Lily left the ring on her bed and frowned at the knife.
She remembered this knife from the train ride to school. It was the one she had slipped on and cut her hand. Lily frowned; the knife was supposed to be covered in a layer of dried blood, but the blade was a stainless hue. Only one type of weapon could lose the blood on it like that. The knife was goblin-made. Lily stared at the knife in wonder. The hilt was rich material with engraftments on it. Lily could tell that the symbols were in Latin. Before the blade rose from the knife, there was a pattern of diamonds and emeralds. The blade was a straight rich silver color. Lily tipped her finger on the edge of the knife and felt a lightning-like sensation rip through her. This blade was old and charmed with intense magic.
Only one type of person could own a knife like this. Lily paled at her thoughts. The knife must have belonged to a pureblood family for generations. She looked for any family crests on the knife but there were none. The mystery of the knife confused Lily. Usually no one preferred to use the back cars of the train. Someone must have lured people to the back. But Lily couldn't remember anyone showing up to school bleeding, other than herself. A flash of a memory suddenly hit her. During the carriage ride to the school, Black was hiding his arm. Lily could remember a distant etch of pain on his face as he downed a bottle of firewhiskey. Black must have attacked someone on the train. Lily scowled at the knife and kept it inside of her bracelet. She would confront Black about that later.
Lily grabbed her ring and shoved it into her bracelet without a second thought. She took it out for all the wrong reasons; Lily wanted the lack of feelings she was feeling to engulf her. But that was wrong; she couldn't do that to Michael. He wouldn't want her to give up. Lily was strong enough to keep fighting. She grabbed her wand and left the dorm, ready to face the truth.
With the use of a good disillusionment charm, Lily was standing in front of the statue of the hump-backed one-eyed witch. She took her wand out and leaned over the statue.
" Dissendium," Lily whispered. She glanced around the hallway before jumping into the hole in the witch's hump. When she landed on the mat at the bottom of the slide, Lily stood and wrapped her cloak around her figure. She followed the path with the assistance of lumos and made her way to the cellar of Honeydukes. After tiptoeing through the store, Lily left a stone behind the door and made her way to the Hog's Head. Lily opened the door and wrinkled her nose from the stench of alcohol and vomit. She could see the center bar from her perch by the door and made her way to it. The bartender didn't even look at her. But Lily tugged on his shirt. He turned and Lily met a face that looked oddly familiar.
" Professor Dumbledore?" Lily asked with a frown. The man grimaced and cleared his throat.
" Lass that's my brother. I'm Aberforth, owner of the Hog's Head, now what can I get you?" the man announced. Lily nodded and tapped her fingers along the surface of the table. She didn't know that Dumbledore had a brother, but everyone was allowed to have his or her secrets. A few of the bars' patrons looked over at her with hungry leers. Lily bit her lip and met the old bartender's eyes.
" I need some red currant rum," Lily asked. The bartender's eyes lit up with realization. He moved from behind the bar and walked over to Lily.
" Follow me lass," Aberforth ordered. Lily stood and walked behind the man. He led her to the back of the pub and through a small door. Lily frowned when she noticed that they were standing in the small alley of the pub. She turned to address Aberforth but he was already gone. Suddenly a figure emerged from the shadows. Lily grabbed her wand, but relaxed when the figure pulled her hood down; it was Tonks. Suddenly the woman flew at Lily at pressed her wand against Lily's throat.
" What was the name of the muggle boy on that train who you were friends with?" Andromeda barked. Lily choked for air and the woman relaxed a bit.
" Harland, Harland Evans," Lily gasped. Andromeda let go of her and Lily slumped against the grimy wall of the alley. Andromeda shot her a sympathetic look and cleared her throat. She ran a hand through her deep black hair and leaned against the wall of the alley.
" There was a break in at the potions storage for the Ministry. Lots of Polyjuice and Veritaserum were stolen. No one is ever too safe. You need to work on your disguises. That hair is starting to look more and more red. And you can't just change your eyes, you've got to change your features," Andromeda explained. Lily nodded and straightened her back. She would have to take a page from the aurors' book and start doing that. Lily knew that times were getting darker; there weren't too many people she could trust. She looked at Andromeda's figure and examined the auror. She looked so tired that it scared Lily. Andromeda's hair was out and Lily could see a few white hairs in the main of blackness. Shadows and dark bags surrounded her eyes. Tonks's face was taut and she looked pale. Andromeda looked like the typical witch of their time.
" So Lily why are you so interested in my relationship with Julius Gastor?" Andromeda asked. Lily bit her lip when she woman grimaced from saying her old fiancé's name. She cleared her throat and pulled the hood of her cloak down.
" I'm worried about Marlene. Marlene loves Fabian and he loves her but since she's stuck in a betrothal with Black she can never be with Fabian. Black turns seventeen in December," Lily explained. Andromeda's features pulled back in a frown.
" Lily I know what you're asking for. Look it's complicated. I would have told all my friends who were trapped in betrothals about how to get out if I could. But I can't, it puts someone in jeopardy," Andromeda explained. Lily's heart fell and she stared at the woman with despair.
"McKinnon's situation is different from mine. She'll never get out of her betrothal," Tonks commented. Lily frowned and crossed her arms.
" Why not?" Lily asked. Andromeda leaned up and met Lily's eyes with a furious stare.
" Lily I know that you want to help your friend. But she's not going to be saved. I only got out of my betrothal thanks to Julius's dad and Black's dad is the biggest supporter of McKinnon's betrothal," Tonks snorted. Lily frowned; what did her dad have to do with this?
" Tell Marlene that she should just break up with Fabian and accept her fate," Tonks sighed. She moved to leave the alley but Lily leaped up and grabbed the auror's hand with a desperate plea. The woman turned and saw Lily's beseeching expression. Lily tugged the clasp of her cloak off and exposed her collarbone. A light rain started as she pointed her wand at the hollow of her collarbone. Tonks's eyes widened and rain fell as a gold star appeared on Lily's skin.
" You're a Gastor?" Tonks asked in a breathless voice. Lily's mouth was dry and she cleared her throat. Tonks had to know the truth for Lily to get any information out of her. Lily had to know how Tonks was able to get out of her betrothal; not just for Marlene, but also for herself. One more liability, one more person to know the truth; but it would be worth it.
"Andromeda, I'm asking you as my friend to tell me what my dad did to get you out of your betrothal," Lily pleaded. She needed this answer so badly. Lily was barely on the edge of sanity; her hope was waning.
" You look awfully similar to your mum with your hair like that. But your smile looks like your dad's. You owe me an explanation. I'll tell you my story after you tell me yours," Tonks started. Rain fell from the dark sky in sentries, but Lily didn't care. She was getting the truth; she was getting an answer. After she told Tonks the truth about who she was and what happened to her Tonks leaned back with a calculating expression.
" I think that I remember you. Wow, I knew that Mr. Gastor was powerful but I didn't know that he was strong enough to place a spell to wipe your presence from every person that knew you," Tonks mused. Lily bit her lip but didn't disagree. Yet Lily was sure that Dumbledore had been the one to cast that spell. But that was his secret; Lily had to be careful with what she trusted Tonks with.
" I guess it's my turn then," Tonks started. After using an umbrella charm Tonks faced Lily and looked into the distance. She seemed to be remembering buried memories.
" One of my biggest shames is what I did to your brother. I met your brother when I was eleven at my entrance to society ball. I can still remember his ruffled gold curls and his eyes. I remember our first dance and how when I stepped on his feet he smiled encouragingly at me. You may not believe this, but your brother used to be sweet. When we went to Hogwarts, and when I was sorted into Gryffindor, my family was so ashamed of me. But your brother stood by my side. He didn't let any of the Slytherins make fun of me, even his friends. I was friends with the Dearborn brothers and a witch named Fantine Fortescue. She moved to France at the start of the war but I still visit her dad; he owes the ice cream parlor in Diagon Alley.
Anyways, Julius and I continued to be friends even though there were differences in our houses. The war sort of disappeared when I was with him. Everything changed in my fifth year when I became a prefect. I was partnered to patrol with this scrawny muggleborn Hufflepuff by the name of Ted Tonks. It was then that the war hit me. My friends began to lose family members to the war, while mine were the ones killing them. During the next two years I was constantly on the edge of being a blood traitor. The only thing that kept me from becoming one was my friendship with Julius. We started dating in my sixth year. Everybody assumed that I made my choice when we did. They thought that I chose to side with Voldemort. But Ted didn't. All my friends left me at the start of my seventh year when Julius and I were made heads, everybody but Ted. If it weren't for Ted I would probably be married to Julius or be his widower.
During Christmas break, I went to the Christmas ball, which was held in the Longbottom Manor that year. I think I had too much to drink and Julius and I ended up in one of the spare bedrooms. That's when I saw his dark mark. He didn't pressure me into anything, but something changed that night. I was breaking; I couldn't marry a death eater. When graduation came I was suicidal. Julius never used the compulsion charms on me, but I was paranoid. The night before graduation I stood on the edge of the Astronomy Tower ready to jump. Ted found me and managed to keep me from jumping. That night I showed Ted all of the research I'd done on the betrothal and he kissed me. It was the first time someone other than Julius kissed me. He told me that he loved me, and I realized that I loved him too. But it was forgotten by the next morning thanks to my betrothal. Our wedding was set for August and I was dreading every day leading up to it. Julius wouldn't let me apply to the auror department and he tried to get me to become a healer or something less dangerous. I started to hate him for that. But it wasn't his fault; it was no one's fault.
On the morning of my wedding, I was all set and ready to go in the Gastor manor when your dad stopped by my room. I can remember him closing the door and facing me with a frown. I never thought that your dad could be such a horrid parent, like mine, but he was. He told me that he knew about my tryst with a muggleborn and that he wanted me to leave the wedding before it even started. I asked him why and he told me that Julius was too soft; that the Dark Lord would send Julius on a mission and that when Julius failed, the Dark Lord would kill him. Your dad said that the only thing that was keeping Julius from becoming a true man was me. He told me that Julius loved me too much, that he couldn't keep love from his work. Your dad said that if I cared about Julius at all that I shouldn't marry him. I asked him how and he told me that when pureblood betrothals are created the father of the groom has control over the spell work that keeps the bride and groom together until the wedding. He removed the contract only minutes ago and no one would know. I thanked him and left the Gastor Manor. I made it to the drive of it when I saw Ted standing there waiting for me.
We left together and soon after I married him. He worked with the Hit Wizards and I was accepted to work in the auror department. My little sister Narcissa wrote to me once and told me that my name got blasted from the family tree. I didn't see your brother for a few years. Dora was at home with Ted one night and I was on a mission with Bishop. We got caught and we were tied to these trees in some forest in Ireland. Julius took his hood off and his eyes filled with pain when he saw me. Turns out that he kept tabs on me ever since Hogwarts. He tortured me and the only thing I could think about through all that pain, was how I left him because I loved him.
In the end my love may have saved him from death, but I doubt that the Julius I once loved would have wanted to become that monster that tortured me. Later, backup came and he left before anyone saw him. I didn't want him to end up like that. But on the morning of my wedding I was so emotional and I didn't want him to die. In the end I met him in a death eater massacre in Sheffield. He looked me in the eyes and walked into the flames that he created," Andromeda explained.
Lily could hear her voice altering with pain; this woman in front of her did everything she could to help someone she loved. But Andromeda never loved Julius the way she was supposed to. Julius loved her with all his heart and that broke him; he died from heartache. It just took a long time to kill him. Sometimes love can be a poison that kills in seconds. Other times, it works its way into every single cell in someone's body and slowly and painfully chokes them to death. In the case of Julius Gastor, it took its sweet time killing him.
" I'm sorry Lily. But James Potter's parents died. The contract sealed with their deaths. I'm so sorry that you are trapped," Andromeda explained softly. She moved to wrap her arms in a motherly way around Lily, but Lily shoved the woman away from her. She blinked harshly and felt tears rise to her eyes; Lily really was trapped. All of her hopes and dreams were crushed in a swift movement thanks to the death of Charlus Potter. Even then, Lily would never be able to convince him to let her out of the betrothal.
" No, I can't do this Andromeda. I can't marry Potter. I bloody hate him! You left my brother to keep him from dying, but Potter will kill me. Every single time I look at him I keep seeing suffering. I keep seeing my friends getting hurt. He hurts people when I don't bend to him. I just want to be free and Potter is a cage," Lily shouted. She could barely hold herself together; with one more blow Lily would finally fall apart for the first time in years. Before Tonks could answer her, Lily ran from the alley and towards the streets of Hogsmeade. She couldn't face her problems; Lily had to run in order to live. She brushed past crowds of people and made her way to the outskirts of the village.
Lily stood near the Shrieking Shack when she stopped running. She stared at it and froze with horror. Memories flooded into her mind and Lily fell to the ground. She couldn't do this; it was too hard to fight her memories. Lily let the horrors of what happened to her in June wash over her. She could feel Michael's lips on hers and a spell hitting her. Lily could feel pain running over her with unbearable agony. She clawed at her wrists and felt chains burn her skin. She could see Michael contorting in pain and a sadistic grin flashing in front of her face. Suddenly everything disappeared and Lily felt someone touch her. She gasped and choked for air as comfort swam through her. Her eyes opened and Lily met Potter's worried hazel eyes. For a moment she relaxed in his hold, but then memories of what happened hit her. Lily felt him pull her up and hold her in his arms. She shoved him away and stared at him with torment.
" Lily what are you doing here? You should be in the castle," Potter asked. His eyebrows twisted in concern. Lily couldn't deal with Potter. She grabbed her wand from the pocket of her cloak and shoved past him. Potter grabbed her arm and Lily made a noise of protest. He flung her to his body and Lily stared up at his eyes with pain.
" Just leave me alone Potter. I can't deal with you now," Lily hissed. Potter froze in pain and she moved out of his hold and towards the village. He watched her leave, unable to do anything due to a burning sensation in his arm. James Potter had a plan, and if his plan worked then Lily wouldn't be scared to love him anymore. He dissaparated from the spot with a foreboding expression.
The thing about James and Lily was that they were too afraid of love to acknowledge it. Lily's love was so powerful, but people took it for granted too many times. James's love was the mere definition of passion, yet he was afraid of love. It would take time and peril for Lily and James to admit that they loved each other. But don't worry, there's a lot of time and peril in the lives of James Potter and Lily Evans.
I'm breaking at the seams. I can barely hold myself together and no one sees how much I'm breaking. William is too distracted trying to keep our sons alive. I had to obliviate Dorea, so she doesn't remember anything.
I haven't spoken to Leander or Apolline in decades but I need a friend right now. Today I received word from Greece that my mother and father are dead. I had William write back to send Lily to France. Dorea told me that France was an excellent place to grow up; I can only hope that Lily likes it there. It's been years since I've spoken to Lily, but I love her so much that I can let her go. She's stronger than her brothers. But that will be her downfall. Lily can't face her feelings. She puts other in front of herself and pushes her feelings away. I know this because that is what I did when I left Athens. I couldn't face Perry and Julius's deaths, so I ran at first sight. I wish that Lily were different from me. I didn't want her to have my flaws. But at the same time I didn't want her to have William's bigotry. Thinking of my daughter is too hard. The boys went with William for a trip and only Jason remained at home. He is only twelve, too young to attend Death Eater meetings.
Jason's friends are quite rambunctious. Dumbledore tells me of their mischief when we meet up for tea every week. They are outside playing Quidditch. I should call them inside; it's due to snow soon. I'm in no mood to deal with my emotions. Jason's friends are a group that surprised me for a moment. William was simply delighted when Jason befriended the son of his old mate Orion Black. He was even more delighted by Jason's closeness with James Potter. Remus Lupin I think is my favorite. He isn't aware that I know that he is a werewolf but that isn't my business anymore. Not many people would think that Mrs. Delphina Gastor mother of si- I mean five, ambassador for the Greek Ministry, and excellent cauldron cake maker was trained to hunt werewolves since youth. But that is my past and Remus Lupin isn't anything like the werewolves of Greece. He is a quiet boy from my appraisal. I'm proud of Jason for being so open-minded. Maybe there is hope for him after all.
I must put my quill down. The boys have returned from the pitch. I can already hear their noise.
Lily closed her mum's notebook and rubbed her tired eyes. She was sitting outside of the hospital wing waiting for news on Michael. If his condition didn't improve, the healers were taking him to Mungos in a few hours. Lily felt bile rise in her throat from that idea. She put her mum's notebook inside of her bracelet and rubbed her forehead. Lily hadn't gotten a single moment of sleep the previous night. She couldn't sleep when so much dread was inside of her. Lily could barely contain her feelings behind the main one she pushed on herself; indifference.
Her friends were inside of the hospital wing, so Lily couldn't go there. She was breaking, and facing her friends would make her break even faster. Lily winced when she felt her collarbones from under her fingers. She would have to eat later. That evening, there was an Order meeting. Lily planned to go but she would have to speak to her friends in order to do so.
Lily sat up and stretched her back. She canceled Quidditch practice even though there was a game on the following weekend. None of the Gryffindors were in shape to practice. Michael's condition had affected Gryffindor House as a whole. People stopped by to see how he was doing on a daily basis. Lily couldn't look at him; she was too weak to even comfort him. Her nightmares made fear incase her soul. She couldn't blink without seeing his battered form.
Her feet dragged her over to the large window by the end of the corridor. Outside of her bubble of misery the world did not stop. Autumn was in full bloom. Leaves took hues of faded oranges and russet reds. An eternal crisp wind existed.
Seasons were something new for Lily. Beauxabatons was located in the Pyrenees Mountain range in southern France. It was mostly warm there and winters were slightly chilly. The Athenian School for Sorcery was in a Mediterranean location; there wasn't much coldness. The drastic changes in weather, which were present in England, were new to Lily. The snow and the concise weather patterns enthralled her.
Her fingers tapped out a rhythm against the cold stone of the wall. Lily wrinkled her nose at the garish nail polish adorning her fingernails. Before Halloween, Marlene had insisted on painting Lily's nails a loud shade of red. Over the past week, the polish had chipped away. Lily would have to remove it later. Her eyes looked towards the open door of the hospital wing and Lily bit her lip. She had to go inside eventually.
Her legs dragged her over to the door and Lily took a deep breath as she entered the hospital wing. It smelled of antiseptic and had a foreboding air to it. Lily saw a flash of steel gray and saw Emmeline looking at her. She could see her friends standing near a bed with sad expressions. Lily's mouth dried as she walked over to the bed. She almost fainted at the red stains on the bandages wrapped around Michael's waist. Emmeline reached out and grabbed Lily's hand with a reassuring touch. Lily looked up at the girl.
Emmeline Vance looked troubled. Her chestnut hair didn't bounce with curls. It seemed weighed down by the world. Her steel gray eyes were filled with pain and sorrow. But Adam was there for her, and that was enough for the girl. Adam's usual tall and strong form was crippled by the weight of grief. Dark circles surrounded his eyes and his hair stood up in a chaotic mess. But Emmeline held her hand around his shoulder supportively. Lily wished that she could have someone to support her like Adam or Emmeline. But her friends were enough for her.
She looked over at Alice and Frank. Alice's hair was cropped to the edge of her chin in a cruel bob. It's honey color, which entranced Lily when she first met the girl, sat in clumps of despair. Alice's standard Prewitt chocolate brown eyes were warped in sadness. But Frank held her hand so tenderly. Frank's light blue eyes squinted in agony at the sight of his fallen friend. His dark hair was cropped short to his temple and his face look taut. Alice and Frank had each other to carry their grief.
Next to Alice were Fabian, Gideon, and Marlene. Gideon's hair was cut short to his brow, but Fabian's stood up in long tresses. The twins had matching shades of pained chocolate brown eyes. Marlene was positioned in between the two tall and muscular men. Her hand was wrapped around Gideon's tightly and her head sat against Fabian's shoulder. Lily noticed that Marlene's usual straight midnight black hair was pulled into a tight braid. Her eyes shone with a dark blue pain. Marlene looked up and gave Lily a sad smile.
Lily gulped as she looked at Michael. His eyes were closed and he was breathing raggedly in a light sleep. His covers were pulled up to his waist and bandages wrapped around his entire torso. His hair fell back from his forehead and revealed a scar from when a knife sliced his forehead open. Lily took a ragged breath and squeezed Emmeline's hand. She was where she should be, and hopefully that would be enough for Michael.
Lily frowned at Michael's figure; something seemed off. She realized that it was his pale skin. Michael was usually tan and muscular. But months of no physical activity and blood loss had turned his skin to a sickly pale color. Bile rose in Lily's throat when she remembered the last time he looked so pale. She could feel manacles cutting into her skin and her side protesting in pain. Lily coughed; she couldn't breathe. Her friends looked over at her in concern and Lily let go of Emmeline's hand. She couldn't show them how weak she was. Lily turned and closed her eyes. She almost screamed when she saw flames rise from the shadows of her vision.
Lily ran from the hospital wing. She couldn't look at Michael without reliving her demons. She wasn't strong enough to keep visiting him. Lily fell to the ground of the hallway and looked down at her wrists. They were fine; there weren't large metal cuffs biting into her skin. She raised her shaking hand and brushed it against her left side. It wasn't screaming in pain. She was hallucinating. Lily let out a bark of cold laughter and leaned her head against the stone of the wall. She pulled her legs to her chest and tugged her hair from its tight ponytail. Her fingers trembled as she worked her way through the knotted locks.
" Lily what are you doing on the floor?" a voices asked. Green eyes looked up and met gold eyes. Lily removed her hands from her hair as Jason crouched over her with a worried expression. Lily bit her lip and brushed a stray strand of hair from her face.
" I don't know," Lily answered in a helpless voice. She looked down and her eyebrows pushed forward. Jason sighed and sat in front of her. He crossed his legs and Lily could see his jean clad form. His arm was still bandaged but his arms were covered in a thin windbreaker. He wore a white t-shirt and his hair was swept into a wind-struck mess. Lily could remember her mum bemoaning Jason's hair to her father. He was the only Gastor brother to not care for the state of his hair. The rest put some effort into controlling the Gastor curls. But Jason was too carefree for that.
" Is this about Wood?" Jason questioned. His eyebrows knitted into a twist of concernment. Lily let her head push up and let out a bark of cold laughter. She blinked sharply and rubbed her tired eyes.
" He's going to die and it's all my fault," Lily croaked. Suddenly Jason grabbed her arm and Lily looked up. He frowned at her response and leaned forward.
" What do you mean?" Jason asked. His eyes narrowed and he pressed for Lily to answer. She leaned up and met his eyes with a cruel expression.
" You should know all about Potter right? With your Marauders' gang I thought that you lot were like brothers. He's hurting anyone that he doesn't want talking to me. First Davies, actually it's Benjy Fenwick first, and now Michael is sitting in the hospital wing dying," Lily moaned. Jason's face darkened and he clenched his fists.
" Is James harassing you?" Jason demanded. Lily scowled at his protective tone and began to clumsily stand. Jason grabbed her arm and she slapped his hand away.
" It's none of your business. I can handle myself Jason, I've been doing that for the past seven years while you were off mooning after Julius," Lily hissed. Jason let go of her in shock and Lily took the opportunity to slip past him. She walked briskly away from him barely holding the pieces of her broken soul together.
But the thing about Jason Gastor that was different from his brothers or even his sister was that he wasn't afraid to love. So instead of letting Lily push him away, Jason watched her walk away with a set expression. She was broken and afraid to let him love her, but Jason could wait. He was her family and family didn't give up on each other. After their parents and brothers died and Pericles and Cassius left the country to escape their ghosts, Jason and Lily really only had each other. Once Lily was out of the hallway, Jason turned and started walking towards the Slytherin Common Room; it was time that he explained something to James.
The second he entered the Slytherin Common Room people looked up and gave him looks of respect. After all he was Jason Gastor; this was his kingdom and he was king, well one of the four kings. Jason would usually greet a few of the older years and grin at some of the coy girls, but he was on a mission. Once people got a look at his murderous expression, their eyes filled with a mix of dread and anticipation. They wanted to know who the esteemed Jason Gastor was upset with. Jason's gold eyes scoured the Common Room and he frowned when he saw his friends.
The three other members of the Marauders were sitting around the fireplace in the hub of action. Remus sat in one of the four single armchairs surrounding the fireplace. He had a piece of parchment in his lap and his uniform was pressed neatly. Jason and Remus didn't have the bond that James and Sirius had, but they were close. Jason was the first person that Remus opened up to, after that the rest of the Marauders made it their goal to crack the mysterious Remus Lupin. It didn't take them much time to realize that Remus left their dorm every full moon. But they didn't care. Even though most of them had grown up hearing scary stories about werewolves, especially Jason, they had known Remus for over two years. Just because he wasn't himself on one day a month didn't mean that they wouldn't accept him. In their second year, after hearing a lesson on animal transfiguration, the three intelligent boys came up with the idea to become animagi to assist their troubled friend. James and Sirius immediately had success with the spell. But Jason who had more ease with dueling and charms work struggled with it. With the assistance of the two other boys, he managed to transform into a gold rat by the boys' fourth year. By their fifth year, all of the boys could successfully transform and keep Remus, or Moony as they had dubbed him, under control during a romp through the forest.
Being a Marauder was one of the biggest parts of Jason's life. It defined who he was and where his loyalties resided. He couldn't tell his family about the things that he and his friends did. But Jason was fine with that. The Marauders were his brothers. They were much better than his real brothers. Jason loved his family above all, his friends were even jealous of the tight-knit Gastor clan, but it had its secrets.
Everything sort of went downhill after Lily was sent to Greece for angering their parents. Julius lost his soft and golden personality when Andromeda Tonks left him at the altar, and became crueler. Pericles distanced himself from his family. The tension was clear when Jason first came to Hogwarts. Lucian and Cassius didn't ignore Pericles but their interaction with the quite young man was quite limited. Lucian and Cassius stuck together after Lily left. They tried to let Jason tag along, but Jason was too young compared to them. Jason also had his own friends. Yet as the family grew strained, they still had their moments. Jason induction into the death eaters was a proud moment for his brothers and dad. But Jason didn't miss the tear that slipped across his mum's face when she saw the writhing tattoo adorning his left arm.
His brothers referred to him as a mum's boy, but Jason didn't care. He adored his mum above all. Jason loved to watch her paint and write, but really he just liked to see the similarities between his lost best friend and his mum. His heart never truly healed when Lily left. Jason had been anticipating the day when he could introduce his Marauders to Lily. He knew that when his two worlds meshed together he would never be happier.
Even when Lily was first banished, Jason's parents assured him that she would be back for her entrance to society ball. But on the day when Jason stood on Platform 9 ¾ without his sister, he felt the sting of disappointment. See, Julius was over nine years older than Pericles, the second oldest Gastor brother. Julius was off in his own adult world by the time Jason could walk. Yet he made ample time to interact with his family. Jason remembered going to Diagon Alley with Julius to pick out his owl. Julius had been the one to point out the midnight black owl, which Jason had eagerly named Hades. Most of the Gastor siblings named their owls for the Olympians.
Jason's father owned Zeus, but Zeus was elderly so he was used as the standard family owl. Zeus was a rich shade of gold and had a set of piercing blue eyes. Jason's mum shared Zeus with his father since she never had an owl back in Greece. Julius had a tawny owl with eternal blue eyes, which he named Poseidon. Pericles had a brown owl with silver eyes, which he named Athena. Lucian had a silver owl with black eyes, which he named Artemis. Cassius had a chestnut owl with a set of black eyes, which he named Ares. Lily got an owl before she left with fiery red feathers and almost yellow eyes that she named Hestia. Jason sometimes watched the owl fly into the Great Hall.
But owls aside, the Gastor family tried to work around the obvious issues it held. Jason loved his family even though they were flawed, for it was their flaws that made him love them. When his parents, Julius, and Lucian died, Jason felt something inside of him change. Once Pericles left to work in Athens and Cassius got a scholarship to the Montreal school for Glyphs and Ancient Runes, Jason realized that he had to grow up. He was an adult and the man of the Gastor house. Pericles and Cassius made it perfectly clear that they weren't coming back. Jason winced at the memory of that horrific family meeting.
It was the day after Lucian's funeral. After Lily hadn't shown to the funeral, Jason felt something in him shift. Lily wasn't heartless so something must have happened to her. He didn't voice his concerns at the family meeting though. It was just Pericles, Cassius, and himself. Pericles explained to Jason that he was leaving for Athens at the end of the month. He left his share of the Gastor estate to Jason and Cassius and withdrew his name from the position of Gastor head.
Cassius stood and looked at Jason with a guilty expression. He told Pericles and his younger brother of his acceptance to a school in Canada. Since Cassius was of age, he was allowed to leave England with no problems. He took some money from the family vault before renouncing his claim to the Gastor family. Cassius and Pericles were out of England by July first, leaving Jason with the entire fortune, the position of Gastor heir, and no family. Lily was still missing a week later when his friends showed up at his door with concerned expressions. They discovered that Jason was spending his birthday alone with his entire family gone.
After a week of pure Marauders bonding in the Gastor family, Jason started to heal. That changed when James showed up to his house two days after he left with a chaotic gleam in his eyes. Jason was shocked to discover that Lily was betrothed to James. But it did make him happy. Jason hadn't missed the exchanges between James and his sister. Ever since the Christmas Ball he had been rooting for James and Lily. Jason remembered James hugging him and telling him that he had family, the Marauders. After James left, the other Marauders made plans for the summer. The four met up at each other's homes, but preferably not Remus's home. Mrs. Lupin held a certain fondness for mother-henning over Jason and James.
Soon the summer flashed by and Jason got word from Pericles that Lily was safe in Greece. He was worried when he read that Lily seemed a bit disturbed though. Jason was sure it had something to do with that bastard Benedict Auclair kidnapping her and Wood. He used to be close friends with Benedict but when he messed with Lily, he messed with the entire Gastor family. Jason was almost sadistically happy to hear that Auclair, his childhood friend, died in the mess he made. The git deserved it for hurting Lily.
When Lily visited, Jason was surprised to see that she looked like their mum. She did something to her hair, which made it look darker and straighter. Lily also looked tanner and taller. Jason was sure that his little sister wasn't aware of the fact that she looked like an adult. He was concerned when she wanted to look through their parents' bedroom. Jason avoided that room at all costs. But he led her up there and after she left Jason spent two weeks working up the nerve to go inside of it. He was shocked to see that he wasn't sad; no he was nostalgic. His brothers' rooms had been cleared out when they moved. Lily's room was filled with some of her belongings that she left there, yet she never showed any interest in staying at the Gastor Manor again. After going through his parents' room, Jason was ready to move on and start living again. His friends could tell when he suggested starting going to bars again. They eagerly accepted the old Jason with open arms, but Jason could feel their concerned stares when he was too quiet.
Jason was thankful for brothers like the Marauders. They wouldn't leave him or die like his other brothers did. And he was willing to wait on Lily. She would come to him when she realized that he was her family through thick and thin.
Jason blinked sharply and saw that Sirius was sitting across from Remus. He winked at a few girls before leaning forward to speak with the other Marauders in a low voice. Directly in front of the fireplace were two emerald green armchairs. One was occupied and the other was empty. Jason balled his fists and the crowd surrounding his brothers parted. Eyes filled with fear as he made his way through the crowd. Jason stopped in front of the armchair on the right and leaned down.
He stared at the figure of James Potter. James was his brother above all. Their families were close so the two boys were practically raised together. Sirius and James's relationship relied on girls and booze. But James and Jason relied on the bonds of family for their relationship. As they aged, the two boys understood each other more and more. James watched as Jason lost his family and dealt with a rebellious sister. He was there to speak with the golden boy about their struggles. Jason was there to sober James up after his parents died. He was there to show empathy for the once innocent boy.
James looked up and ran a hand through his chaotic hair. Jason could see the Marauder's Map sitting in his lap. He glared at his brother remembering his original purpose.
" Jason mate have a seat! We're just about to leave for the party in the Hufflepuff Common Room," James declared with a devilish grin. Usually Jason would slap his brother on the arm and grin back. But today he couldn't keep the waves of revulsion off his mind. He stood with straight back and grabbed James by the collar of his shirt. Jason's eyes gleamed with anger as he stared at his brother. James was supposed to be Lily's love, not the man that drove her to the point where she refused to eat or sleep. People watched as Jason violently shoved James against the wall of the Common Room. He held his wand against his brother's pulse and glowered at James's handsome face. James didn't look angry; he looked annoyed.
" Jason have you been drinking?" James demanded. He shoved Jason's loose grip away and straightened his shirt. Jason glared at him and crossed his arms. He could feel Sirius and Remus's hot stares on his back.
" James we need to talk in a more private place," Jason hissed. James raised an eyebrow curiously but nodded. He cleared his throat and the sea of bystanders separated. Jason could barely keep himself from punching James as the two boys walked up to their dorm. Once the door closed behind James, Jason swung his fist back and punched James straight across the face. James let out a sharp curse and Jason could hear pounding at the door.
" Padfoot and Moony this is between me and Prongs! Marauder's code," Jason shouted roughly. He heard silence and the sound of Sirius clearing the crowd. Jason watched as James looked up at him with a furious stare.
" Jason what the hell are you doing?" James growled. Jason scoffed at his brother's attempt at a furious voice. James may have the ability to strike fear in the masses of students and even teachers at Hogwarts but Jason had known him since the two of them were both scrawny kids.
" What am I doing? You actually have the nerve to question me Prongs? You're the one who's torturing my little sister. She is not sleeping or eating Prongs. Care to explain why you felt the need to beat Wood to the point of death?" Jason snarled. His eyes lit up with anger and James slumped. He stood with a straight back and frowned.
" Jason I've got a right to keep sick blood traitors like Wood away from Evans. She'll be mine in a few months and I'd prefer for her not to interact with the likes of Wood and Davies," James explained. Jason snorted and furiously twirled his wand in between his fingers.
" Prongs you don't understand Lily at all. Look at her right now. She isn't eating or sleeping just because Wood is injured. What do you think will happen if he dies? Everything that had built up on Lily for the past seven years will engulf her! She doesn't know how to deal with grief. She thinks that she can handle it but she can't. Instead she'll just keep pushing away her pain until she finally does something stupid. When our parents died she couldn't handle it so she decided to pretend to be a muggleborn. When Lucian, Julius, and the Auclair family died she couldn't take her own pain so she ran off to bloody Greece. When that Fenwick bloke and one of our mum's friends from Greece died, who she was close with, she dyed her hair and refused to come home. What do you think is going to happen if Wood dies?" Jason roared.
James froze for a moment and took all of this in. His face lit up with sharp realization and he cursed loudly. Blood fell from his nose as he ran a hand through his hair angrily. Jason watched him with a disdained expression. James leaned against the wall with a defeated expression.
"Is there anything I can do?" James asked. His eyes were filled with a bout of sharp regret and Jason sighed. Jason had never seen James like this. James didn't regret his actions; but when Lily was involved this was an exception.
"I dunno. It's up to you to keep Lily from breaking. You've got to do something about Wood I reckon," Jason quipped. James nodded and stood. He went over to his trunk and pulled something out. Jason gulped when he saw James pull out a small vial. He grabbed a spare piece of parchment and scrawled something out on it. James opened the window and whistled sharply. A large white owl flew to the window and James attached the letter and vial to the owl's leg. He closed the window and turned to Jason when the owl flew away.
" That should help Wood," James explained. Jason nodded and the hazel-eyed boy slumped into a relaxed position. Jason knew that James may have been controlling and domineering but he knew that James could also be loyal and brave. He'd seen some of the interactions between James and Lily. Lily changed when she was around James. She lost her broken gleam and seemed almost whole. James was exactly what Lily needed. Jason only hoped that both of them would get over their fear of loving and realize that they were meant for each other.
James cleared his throat and moved over to Jason with a sheepish grin. He clapped a hand on Jason's back and the entire predicament was forgotten. They were family and family didn't let old grudges get in the way of living.
" Now let's head to that party. I heard that Stevies fancies you," James declared roguishly. Jason couldn't keep the grin off his face. They were brothers first and kings second. Lily would be fine. She just needed time. In the meantime, Jason had a certain Hufflepuff to shag.
"Lily are you in here?" Marlene asked. Lily looked up from her desk and yawned. She was working on an assignment for Care of Magical Creatures and her hand was covered in ink splotches. Lily rubbed her eyes as Marlene walked over to her with a wide grin. She was surprised by the amount of hope present in Marlene's eyes.
" What's going on Marlee?" Lily asked. Marlene pulled her up with a grin and grabbed Lily's arm. She led the tired girl from the dorm and down to the common room. The warm room was empty save for a group standing around the fireplace. A joyful air surrounded them and Lily frowned at the sight of her friends being so happy. What was going on?
Marlene dragged her over to the group and they grinned at her. Lily twisted her eyebrows in confusion when she saw tears of joy in Emmeline and Gideon's eyes. Frank and Adam stood off to one side clutching each other with thankful grins. Fabian and Alice were sitting on the couch with smiles and tired eyes. Marlene turned Lily and met her eyes with fervor.
"Lils it's a miracle! The hospital wing got an owl around nine. It had a vial of phoenix tears. The healers used it on Michael as the note instructed and his cuts healed before our eyes. He lost a lot of blood and they're still stabilizing him but Madam Pomfrey is positive that he will make a full recovery. He was awake when she made us leave," Marlene exclaimed.
Lily's heart filled with a warm bubble. She understood why her friends were grinning so happily. Lily couldn't keep the grin off her face as she blinked away tears and Marlene wrapped her in a tight hug. Lily fell into her friend's hold and couldn't keep the wide beam off her face. Her eyes twinkled with joy.
" Michael is going to live. He's going to live and become an auror. He's going to play Quidditch and win another House Cup. He's going to become your dueling partner Lils," Marlene comforted. Lily nodded and leaned her head against her motherly friend's shoulder. Michael was going to be fine; he wasn't going to die a tragic and horrific death. He wasn't going to turn into one of Lily's ghosts.
" When can I see him?" Lily asked. Her eyes lit up at the thought of seeing her friend without his scars and pains. But a question rested in the back of her mind. Who sent that vial of phoenix tears? Lily hoped that it was Dumbledore; she was too afraid to think that there was another mystery in the twisted world that was her life.
" The healers from Mungos are leaving tomorrow morning. I'm sure Pomfrey will let you in," Emmeline called out. Lily nodded and checked her watch. There was an Order meeting at midnight and Lily didn't plan on missing it.
At three in the morning, the seventh and sixth year Gryffindor girls trudged back into their dorm. The meeting was brutal due to a revelation that no one had received news of Dumbledore's whereabouts. Lily informed Moody of Michael's recovery but the man seemed suspicious of the phoenix tears. Adam, who was closest to the window during the arrival of the miracle, informed Lily and the group that the owl that had delivered the note and vial was a snowy white color. Lily didn't know of anyone with a pure white owl but kept this in mind. She would be on the lookout for this owl.
Frank and Gideon were called for patrol that night so the other Gryffindors trudged back to the castle. Alice crashed in the girls' dorm since Frank wouldn't be back until sunrise. Marlene and Alice managed to transform an old pillow into a bed. Lily was astonished by their Transfiguration skills. She changed into a pair of plaid pajama pants and a white tank top before falling into a restful sleep. She dreamt of green fields and her mum's embrace that night. Lily was shocked to see a pair of hazel eyes snake their way into her dreams.
She woke to a sunlit room. Lily groaned and shoved her covers off. She leaned up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. With a glance at the clock, Lily saw that it was almost noon. She stretched her back and stood from her bed. The others had already left the dorm and Marlene left a note by Lily's bed. She picked it up and wrinkled her nose at the sight of her nails.
Lils,
I was amazed to see you sleeping at ten! We left you to catch up on some much needed beauty sleep. Frank and Gideon returned around five according to Alice. They're still sleeping. Don't wake them; they've had a rough night. There was a run in with the Lestrange couple that didn't end well. One of the aurors with them is in Mungos. When you're ready, we'll be waiting in the hospital wing. Please wash your hair; it's a greasy mess.
Love Marlene
Lily's bit her lip at Marlene's motherly comment. She looked at a clump of her hair and admitted that it was a mess. After setting her bed, Lily took a long shower and used ample amounts of shampoo and conditioner. She removed the nail polish from her fingers and used a body hair removal spell. After drying her hair, Lily threw a pair of jeans and a knitted sweater on. She slid a pair of boots on and brushed her hair into neat locks. Lily took the time to rub some lip-gloss on her thoroughly bitten lips and place a concealment charm on her birthmark. She grinned at the sight of her fading under eye bags. After grabbing her wand and using a sprinkle of her pomegranate perfume, Lily left the dorm with a wide grin.
She greeted some of her peers and the younger students she was fond of. People stared at her charming demeanor in surprise. But that didn't keep them from eagerly greeting her. Lily entered the Great Hall for lunch and sat at the Gryffindor Table. She decided that Michael would scold her if she weren't eating so Lily filled her plate with a sandwich and an apple. After eating to her fill, Lily twisted a lock of her hair around her finger as she looked up to the sky. She wasn't aware that two people were watching her with grins.
Jason nudged his friend as they watched his little sister. He hadn't seen her so healthy in over two weeks. She seemed to glow with happiness that was clear from his distance. James turned to him and raised an eyebrow. Jason shrugged and looked over to the head table. He could see another person watching Lily. Jason frowned at the sight of Galen Kingsmill. He wasn't close to the Kingsmill family like Lily was, but Jason had an encounter with Auror Kingsmill on the battlefield. He wasn't too fond of the self-righteous auror, but he couldn't deny that Kingsmill had a better feel for Lily than he or Auclair did. James looked towards where Jason was looking and scowled.
" Lily gets along with him?" James asked. Jason nodded and brushed some crumbs from his lunch off his lap. He watched as Lily left the Great Hall and took her aurora of joy with her.
"From what I heard from Pericles and my parents, Lily used to be best friends with his sister Selena. According to Pericles, she basically latched onto Auror Kingsmill after his mum died. Pericles thinks that there's nothing there but friendship. I know for a fact that they've kissed a few times. But Lily's a bit liberal with affection if she likes someone," Jason answered.
James nodded and the pair stood. Sirius and Remus were meeting them in the Room of Requirement to plan out a prank for that annoying Mrs. Norris. The damn cat had caught Sirius and Jason after curfew and they got detention. It was time that cat paid. Jason winked devilishly at a few girls as he and James left the Great Hall.
" I'm sorry mate. I'm not going to harass Lily anymore. I've got other ways to make her realize that she's mine," James declared. Jason pursed his lips as the two men left the hall. He looked around at the empty corridor and turned on James. Suddenly Jason shoved his friend into the wall and cut his arm into James's throat. His friend stared at him with shocked eyes.
" James she's technically under my jurisdiction until you turn seventeen. So if you don't watch your bloody step with my little sister I will be the person you answer to. If I find out that you're tormenting her in any way I will take it up to the other Marauders. I think we both know who will be on suspension if Remus hears that you've been blackmailing my sister for months. I don't even want to say what Sirius will do. He may be slightly unstable but he loves his little brother. I doubt that either of them will be pleasured with your idiotic behavior," Jason snarled.
James glared at his friend but nodded. He knew that Jason was right; James didn't even want to torment Lily. Every time he looked at her agonized eyes he broke a little more. But there was no other way to get her to acknowledge him. James craved her touch and her acknowledgement. He couldn't stand the idea of her being out of his reach for any amount of time. James knew that her courage and her loyalty to those she loved were what made him fancy her. But he didn't know what made him feel as though the idea of living without her would kill him. He just needed her so badly. James hoped that Lily felt the same way. Otherwise why would she even bother to talk to him? He had to win that bet. He had to show her that marrying him was the thing that she wanted. She would be his but James wanted her to want him. He wanted her to love him as much as he loved her.
Jason let go of James and the two started for the Room of Requirement. Meanwhile, Lily was walking down the opposite hall with a wide grin. She could see the hospital wing rising in the distant. Lily sped up to a jog and entered the hospital wing with flushed cheeks. She could see the back of Alice's hair and made her way over to the bed that her friends stood around. Green eyes met crinkled brown eyes and Lily grinned. She leaned down and pulled her friend into a tight hug. She closed her eyes and inhaled Michael's presence. He pulled her back and looked at her with a wide smile. Lily bit her lip to keep the sobs down as she sat on the edge of his bed. Michael's bandages were removed and his chest was free of any slices or scars. His skin wasn't so pale anymore and his eyes were open.
" Lily you look like shit," Michael declared. Lily smiled ruefully and smacked his shoulder. He chuckled and Lily couldn't be happier. Her friend was safe; everything was going to be all right.
" Michael it's good to have you back," Lily said truthfully. Her friend smiled a full and open smile at her comment. Lily knew that everything was going to be all right. She spent the day in the hospital wing with her friends. After Wizarding Chess tournament, which Lily immediately loss in the initial rounds to a satisfied Gideon, she played a game of Exploding Snap with Alice and Michael. Marlene and her caught up on some homework and Frank and Fabian assisted them with some Herbology homework. Lily listened to a story about the time when Dumbledore caught Adam and Emmeline in a broom closet; she laughed harder than any of her friends. At nine, Madam Pomfrey kicked the Gryffindors out of the hospital wing telling them that Michael would be let out in the morning before breakfast. Lily went to dinner with the same grin that she left lunch with. After finishing some Potions work, Lily slept for more time than she had for the past two weeks.
She woke with an infectious grin in the morning. Marlene and Emmeline were still sleeping when Lily showered and dried her hair. She left it down after buttoning her shirt over her bra. Lily filled her bag with the required textbooks and notebooks she needed for the day. She waited for her dorm mates to rise and grabbed her cloak once Marlene and Emmeline were ready. The trio headed down to the Common Room and met up with the Prewitt twins and Adam. The group walked down to the Entrance Hall where they ran into Frank and Alice. They entered the Great Hall and sat directly in the middle of the Gryffindor table waiting for their friend to show up.
Lily bounced on the edge of her seat and stared at the door eagerly. The hall was filled with activity since classes started in thirty minutes. Lily glanced at the open doors to the hall with anticipation. She tugged on a lock of hair as people entered the hall.
" Lily give him some time. Pomfrey must be hounding him," a voice teased. Lily blushed and met Marlene's motherly eyes. She bit her lip and took a bite of the porridge she was eating. After finishing the bowl, Lily took a handful of grapes and stared at the fruit bowl mournfully; it had almost been a month since she had last had a pomegranate. Lily sighed and popped a green grape in her mouth.
She looked up directly across the hall and met a pair of gold eyes. Lily smiled shyly at her brother before turning to the front of the hall again. She frowned when a group of third year Slytherins entered; where was Michael? Lily finished her grapes and took a sip of water. She inputted a few words to the conversation on the upcoming match between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw. Lily bit her lip harshly when she saw that breakfast was ending in ten minutes. She leaned on the edge of her fists and blew a strand of hair out of her eyes. Lily looked at Adam's ever present smile as he explained in full detail to Frank about the purpose of using the snitch over the Golden Snidget.
Suddenly the atmosphere in the hall changed. Lily looked up and couldn't keep the full grin off her face as she saw Michael standing in the middle of the hall. He wore his shirt tucked loosely into a pair of trousers and his tie hung around his neck with a sly angle. His hair was freshly cut and the puckered scar from the incident at the Auclair Manor was clear to see. His eyes looked haunted and his skin was slightly pale. Lily noticed that he lost a few pounds of muscle and his bones seemed to stand out from his face. He held a haunting edge to his stance as he stared directly into her eyes. Lily stood immediately and balled her fists tightly as she walked up to him.
" Hi," Michael said in a rueful voice. His hands were shyly tucked behind his back and he didn't seem to be expecting Lily's tight embrace. She leaned forward off her heels and repressed her tears into his shoulder. Michael quickly returned her hug and Lily brushed her fingers gently against his torso. He didn't show any pain.
" Hi," Lily murmured when she let go of Michael. He still held her right hand in a tight hold and seemed to be using her as an anchor to reality. This time Lily would be there for him. She blushed when the stares coming from around the hall reached her attention. Lily bit her lip as she pulled Michael over to their friends. She sat him down in her seat in between Marlene and Frank. Lily squeezed in next to him and watched him engage their friends in a joyful conversation. He didn't look as though he was dying two days ago. Phoenix tears really were a miracle. Lily looked up and saw that Potter was watching her. She froze for a moment and her fingers curled around a strand of her hair.
Potter's face was pulled back into a blank stare. He didn't have a sneer or a dark gleam to his eyes. Lily narrowed her eyes at his almost innocent expression. Potter sat with a straight back and nodded at Lily with a curt turn to his mouth. She felt an emotion hit her hard at his expression; it was an apology. Lily's mouth dried and she immediately knew what Potter's role in the entire Michael debacle that been. A snowy white owl flew down and dropped a letter for Potter. Lily looked away and met Jason's eyes. He looked at her with something close to terse acknowledgement. Lily paled and ducked her head.
Potter had the connections to get Phoenix tears. Why had Potter saved Michael if he was the one that got Michael sent to the hospital wing in the first place? Lily intended to find out why Potter had a regret in actions. She turned and laughed at a joke Michael made. Potter could wait for some time.
Lily headed to Potions walking on Michael's left. She couldn't help but glance back at Potter as she walked with her friends. Something seemed different about him. After a long class, Lily wrinkled her nose at the almost wet state of her hair. Black and Potter thought it would be amusing to throw the temperature reducing potion they were making on her and Marlene. Lily's lips were almost blue by the time she left the Potions classroom. She wrapped the material of her cloak tightly around her figure. Slughorn said that the potion would wear off in an hour. Lily planned on hexing Potter when it did.
Marlene and Michael led the way to the DADA classroom and Lily trailed after them. She bit her lips and rubbed the sides of her arms. Michael slowed down and pulled his cloak off. Lily muttered a thank you when he wrapped the cloak over her shoulders. She froze suddenly and remembered what Potter did when Michael lent his cloak to her last time. Lily ignored Marlene and Michael's concerned stares before slipping out of Michael's oversized cloak and handing it to him. Lily ducked her head and started walking to avoid Michael's sharp stare. She couldn't put him at risk anymore; she couldn't afford to do anything that would danger him.
Once she reached the DADA classroom Lily frowned when she noticed that the room was empty of desks or chairs. It had been cleared and a large open area sat in the middle of it. Her peers entered the room with skeptical stares. Malfoy's classes involved long essays and torturous tests. They were anxious to meet the new teacher. The bell rang just as two Hufflepuffs slid into the room. The group of almost twenty waited for their teacher. Suddenly the door shut and a figure slinked from the shadows of the room. Lily watched as Galen Kingsmill walked straight into the middle of the classroom. His expression was a goofy grin which a few Ravenclaw girls noticed with coy giggles.
" My name is Galen Kingsmill, and you should call me Professor Kingsmill if you lot want to avoid getting your arms hexed off. " Galen announced with a grin. Lily bit her lip trying to hold back her laughter as her peers stared at Galen in fear. He looked menacing in his gold auror robes and the large scar stretching from his jaw to the edge of the opposite collarbone. But Lily knew him since he was a gangly boy of eleven. She didn't find him very intimidating.
" I've looked through some of your previous teacher's notes. She had the right idea with practical lessons. Sadly the headmaster didn't agree with that. I on the other hand suffered through the same essays you lot were forced to write several years ago. I preferred practical lessons to the written sort," Galen declared. Lily heard a snort come from the back of the room and looked over there. Black was staring at Galen with an incredulous stare.
" Want to say something Black?" Galen asked. A few students gawked at his lax terminology for their king-like figure. Black shook his curls out with a sly expression. He shrugged innocently before addressing Galen.
" I'd just prefer for my teachers to be actually capable. I doubt that you're even 25," Black said smugly. Suddenly a spell hit him and his wand catapulted from his hand into Galen's. His sky-blue eyes were twinkling with mirth as he twirled Black's wand around his long fingers.
" I'm nineteen actually. For the record Black I've accomplished more than most aurors in my home country and here have in their entire lifetimes in my two year career as an auror," Galen answered. His sharp accent slid into his words and a few Hufflepuff girls seemed to swoon. Lily caught Marlene watching her friend with a glazed stare. He threw Black's wand in his direction and faced the class. Lily could see a smoldering glare on Black's face as he grabbed his wand from the floor.
" Where did I leave off before Black questioned my credibility?" Galen said aloud. His eyes flickered across the room. Lily could see open changes in his facial expressions as he studied the class. She rolled her eyes when he winked at a Ravenclaw. Lily didn't miss Jason's critical stare on Galen's figure.
" Jason Gastor it's nice to finally meet you," Galen announced. He walked over to Jason and outstretched a hand. Lily felt his eyes flicker to her face as she watched the two shake hands.
" Our mums were friends right?" Jason said. Galen nodded and Jason looked over to Lily. She bit her lip before looking down to the ground. The stonework was quite fascinating really.
" Your mum was actually my little sister's godmother," Galen explained. Lily sighed and remembered the last letter Selena had sent to her. It was almost a week ago and Lily was still mulling over her friend's fascination with her older brother. Lily never expected someone as loud and vibrant as Selena would fancy a quiet and brooding man like Pericles.
" Right then. We'll be practicing nonverbal spells today. Get into groups of birth months please," Galen ordered. He turned to face the class and Auror Kingsmill was back. Lily bit her lip when she noticed that no one else was in the January group. Technically Lily wasn't even supposed to be born until late April or early May. She heard the gruesome story of her abnormally early birth more than once. Galen raised an eyebrow at the September group which was too large.
" Your parents knew how to celebrate Christmas I assume," Galen commented as he separated the group into two. He paired off people from opposite months. Lily's throat dried when she was paired with Black. Her hand curled around the wood of her wand. Black looked at her with an almost predatory stance. Suddenly a spell shot at Lily with an electric edge. Her instincts forced her to shoot a mirror charm and the spell boomeranged back to Black. He slashed his wand through the air arrogantly and the spell disappeared. Lily gulped and leaned down. She stared at Black and waited for him to attack. Only he didn't. Black narrowed his gray eyes at Lily egging her on to send a spell his way.
Lily thought of the disarming charm in her head and let her magic flow down to her wand. A red streak flashed through the room and Lily watched as Black dodged the spell. When it hit a chair and sent it into the wall harshly, Lily winced. She didn't want to hurt Black. He faced her with something close to a leer. Suddenly two spells rocketed towards Lily. Her eyes widened and Lily ducked as the spells hit someone behind her. Lily turned and sucked in a breath when she saw the boils covering the skin of a limp Amos Diggory. Black was using hexes; Lily had to be ready.
She whirled around and shot a stunning spell at Black's figure. Lily didn't seem to notice that most people were muttering the spells under their breaths. Technically she had an unfair advantage with her magic, but how did Black know how to use nonverbal magic. Nonverbal magic was at the NEWT level for seventh years. It was too advanced for a student like Black. As a spell shot from his wand to Lily she remembered that Black was a death eater. Lily froze for a moment when she heard a peal of laughter. She glanced to her left and saw that Jason was laughing at something that Marlene had said. Lily never noticed but Jason seemed oddly comfortable around Marlene, almost if they were friends.
Lily turned as a spell suddenly hit her. The feeling of falling immediately hit her. It was as though someone had wrenched a knife into her head and was cutting through her memories. Lily gasped when flashes of memories she kept under lock and key came to her mind. She wasn't the one prying them out of the boxes she tucked them away in; it was someone else. The memories stopped moving and paused on one memory.
Lily shouted in protest when the memory of Potter's lips acting like lightening against hers in her townhouse came to her mind. She could see herself, wearing nothing but a tank top and a loose pair of sweats, snogging Potter vigorously. The fact that Potter was only wearing a pair of boxers and that Lily was straddling made the memory even worse. Lily could see her curled hair moving under Potter's fingers as he held her face almost gently.
Embarrassment engulfed her when she heard her memory-self moan Potter's first name. It was even worse when Potter pulled her closer to his chest. Lily stared at the clean state of her bedroom in this memory when she noticed that someone else was present in this memory. A curse escaped Lily's mouth when Black's gaping figure came into view. He was staring at her and Potter with a shocked stare. Lily shoved him away from the memory with sharp vigor and kicked him out of her mind.
She gasped when her eyes shot open and Lily met Galen's concerned eyes. She choked for air and blushed furiously when she remembered what had just happened. Lily sat up and saw that her friends and Galen were kneeling around her. She could see a large crowd surrounding someone else a few feet away from her.
" Lily! Black hit you with a curse that made you faint and start writhing on the ground. What did he do?" Marlene demanded. Lily reached for her bracelet and rubbed her fingers against the chain. Dread filled her as she realized what just happened. Black was a Legilimens; he just hit her with a spell that gave him access to her memories for a brief period of time. Lily cursed herself for never learning Occlumency; Legilimens were so rare that Lily chose to learn how to resist Veritaserum over learning how to block people from her mind.
" I dunno. I can't remember anything," Lily lied. Galen's face twisted into a scowl for a moment before he nodded. Michael and Marlene pulled Lily up and she leaned against them for a moment. A bout of dizziness hit her as she rose. Her fingers curled around the edge of her forehead and Lily shivered. She was so cold thanks to Potter and Black's potion.
Lily looked up and saw that Black was standing in the middle of the larger group. It made sense that a majority of the class would run to his aid rather than Lily's. He brushed the dirt from his shirt before meeting Lily's eyes with a twisted grin. Lily froze when his eyes flashed viciously. Black thought that she had slept with Potter. Oh fuck; Lily was screwed. She heard the bell ring shrilly and slipped out from her friends' arms. Lily grabbed her bag and looked up.
Black was walking out of the room with his friends. Lily sprinted after them and shoved two Ravenclaws out of her way. She grabbed Black's arm and twisted him around. Black's eyes flashed murderously before he saw who stopped him. His mouth curled up into a sly grin as his friends stopped and turned to face Lily. She let go of Black and tugged on a lock of her hair.
" Black what you saw it's not what you think," Lily choked quickly. Black didn't respond; he only raised his left eyebrow and crossed his arms at Lily's desperate form. Potter and Jason stared at her with curious eyes. Lily groaned at the thought of Black revealing what he saw to Potter or Jason. Lily didn't want Potter to know that image sometimes flickered in her mind.
" Evans I'm not an idiot. You may have kicked me out before anything good happened, but I know that you're not the virginal ice queen you pretend to be," Black crooned victoriously. Lily paled when Potter's eyes flashed with rage as he turned to her. His hand moved to grab her wrist, but Jason shoved it away.
" Padfoot we should continue this conversation in a less populate area," Jason commented. Lily blushed crimson red when she noticed that people were staring at her. The other Marauders nodded and turned from her for a moment. Lily glanced at them as they persuaded Lupin to go to lunch without them. She turned to make her get away while this was happening. But before Lily could even take a step, a hand grabbed her by the waist and yanked her around.
" Not so fast Lily, we've got something to talk about," Potter growled. Lily clenched her jaw as he shoved her in between him and Jason. Black stood next to Potter, preventing Lily from getting away. She stiffly followed Jason into a classroom. Potter shut the door behind Black and turned to Lily.
" Now Evans what was Sirius talking about when he said that you weren't a virgin anymore?" Potter demanded. Lily blushed heavily and scowled at Black from her perch on a desk. She looked over at Jason with a pleading look but he crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes at Lily's neck. Lily scowled at him; why did he have to be such an overprotective brother at all the wrong times?
Potter moved towards her and stood directly in front of her. He ran a hand through his hair angrily and shoved the bridge of his glasses up. Lily tugged on a lock of her hair and looked at the ground.
" Black misinterpreted something he shouldn't have seen," Lily answered nervously.
" Evans I know more about shagging than you'll ever know. I'm pretty sure that I could interpret that memory pretty clearly," Black snorted. Lily opened her mouth to fire a retort but someone beat her to the punch.
" Lily why were you with a boy? Benjy told me that you didn't date anyone in France. Was it one of the Prewitt twins or that tosser Fenwick?" Jason demanded. Before Lily could answer Potter slammed his fist against the desk she was sitting on and she jumped in surprise.
" Why would she sleep with one of those blood traitors or half bloods when she's going to marry me?" Potter asked with an incredulous voice. Black moved to speak but Lily spoke before he could.
" Potter stop being so cocky! I didn't sleep with anyone for Merlin's sake! I'm a bloody virgin," Lily hissed angrily. Her cheeks were flushed and she glared into Potter's eyes.
" Evans is lying. There's no way that she didn't shag-," Black started. Jason cut him off and faced Lily with a protective stare.
" Padfoot who the hell did you see Lily with?" Jason demanded. Lily coughed sharply and covered her chest with her arms. She couldn't let Black tell anyone about the embarrassing night she had with Potter back in April.
" Evans why were you with anyone in the first place? I let Wood off the hook since I decided to do you a favor. I didn't know that you were so stupid," Potter exclaimed. Lily met his eyes in a fierce glower. She balled her fists at her sides and lifted her head up.
" Potter I wasn't with anyone! For Merlin's sake I've only kissed three people. Black saw that night when it was raining during the Easter Holidays when you and I…" Lily explained. Potter's face lit up in realization when Lily didn't finish her sentence. He seemed to regret his outburst, but then Jason grabbed his shoulder sharply.
" What did you do with my sister Prongs?" Jason hissed in a low voice. Lily stood up and snorted at his behavior. She pulled his hand from Potter's shoulder and faced him with a calming expression.
" Jace nothing happened. Potter's dad passed away and it was raining. I just took pity on him since he was locked out of Black's house. We didn't do anything," Lily assured. Black snorted from her left and interrupted.
"Evans I'm pretty sure that you were about to shag Prongs in that memory," Black declared. Lily rolled her eyes and stared in her brother's heated gold eyes.
" Jace, Black is a man-whore, all Potter and I did was kiss," Lily secured. She felt so embarrassed that her brother had gotten her entire sexual experience due to Black's outburst. She bit her lip and sighed loudly.
"Prongs is that true?" Jason asked. Lily looked at Potter over her shoulder and saw his conflicted face. She remembered that Potter had slept over that night before disappearing. He cleared his throat and looked directly into Jason's eyes.
" Jason mate I honestly didn't do anything to Lily. We snogged for maybe a minute and she fell asleep within ten minutes. I left after she fell asleep and went to Padfoot's house," Potter promised. Jason nodded sharply and brushed a lock of hair off his forehead.
" Right then. So Padfoot just assumed that you and Lily slept together. Okay Padfoot is just being a git like usual. Well I'm going to go to the Great Hall and tell Moony that Lily was upset with Padfoot about the whole Legilimency thing. I'll see you lot later," Jason addressed. He grinned sheepishly at Lily and wrapped her in a light hug before leaving the room. Lily shivered, since Potter and Black's potion still hadn't worn off.
" Prongs you coming?" Black questioned from the doorway. Lily looked up and saw that Potter was staring at her with a sharp expression. He was only a foot away from Lily and his mouth was pursed tightly.
" I'll head down later. I just need a word with Evans," Potter answered. Lily watched as Black left the room and closed the door without a glance back. She bit her lip and rubbed her arms as chills crossed her form. Potter frowned and studied her for a moment. Suddenly Lily was pulled into his tight hold. Her face was pressed against his chest and his body heat radiated to her cold skin. Lily slumped slightly in his hold before remembering what Potter did to Michael. She craned her head up and stared into his eyes.
"I thought the potion would've worn off by now," Potter murmured in her ear. Lily didn't respond as his fingers traced figures over the material of her shirt. The small of her back was pressed into the desk behind her and Potter chest covered her torso.
" I only spilled that potion on you to teach you not to interact with Wood so comfortably," Potter said. His voice rumbled from his chest and Lily inhaled his unique scent of green apples and rugged earth. She could feel his heart pound against the ridge of her cheekbone.
" Why did you help Michael?" Lily asked breathlessly. She was surprised by her question. Potter froze for a moment before craning his head down to stare into her eyes. Lily watched as gold and green clashed in his eyes.
" Because you were breaking Lily, and I couldn't stand to watch you wilt away before my eyes when I could do something to help you," Potter answered. Lily was shocked by the regret and raw sorrow in his voice. She moved her hands from her sides to Potter's chest. Lily pushed her head off his heart and watched him with a curious expression.
" Lily I can't say I regret hurting Wood or Davies. But I can honestly say that seeing you wilt away was one of the most painful things I ever experienced," Potter declared. His hand moved to cup her chin tenderly. Lily ducked her head and took a breath. She could feel Potter's heart beneath her hands.
Potter leaned down and his breath brushed Lily's temple. She shivered unconsciously and Potter's arms tugged her even closer to him. Lily moved her hands to the back of his neck and leaned her head against the surface of his tie. Potter tucked her head under his chin and time seemed to still. Lily looked up with fervor and met Potter's eyes. She craned her head to her left and leaned up. Potter did the exact opposite and Lily could feel his electric lips inching towards her. Suddenly waves of reality crashed on her as she blinked and saw Michael's raw and bleeding back. Lily shuddered and pushed her head away just as Potter's lips moved to kiss her.
" I can't James. You've hurt people in order to make me submit to you. I just can't be with someone as possessive and heartless as you," Lily murmured. But her words seemed to be directed more to herself rather than James. She couldn't keep herself from slipping his name into her voice. It cracked his broken sorrow. Suddenly Potter's hands froze and he stopped moving. Lily swore that his heart stopped for a second.
His waist shoved her body into the desk behind her and his hand yanked her chin up so her eyes were directed at his. Lily gasped when his other hand pulled at her hand and placed it on his chest.
" Lily why do you insist on fighting me? I know about that trip you took to Hogsmeade on Friday. Meeting up with Andromeda the blood traitor and trying to escape this was so stupid. Lily there isn't any way to prevent our inevitable marriage. Yet you keep fighting me. I've never felt this way for a girl before. You're driving me insane with all of your dangerous night trips. Jason and I talked Lily, we both think that if you keep this up, then you will be forced to stay in our dorm every night," Potter declared.
Lily wrenched her chin out of his grip and clenched her jaw. Potter and Jason weren't supposed to agree on something, when did that happen?
" You know I was actually fighting with Jason on Saturday thanks to you. He convinced me that your survival was dependent on bloody Michael Wood. So I convinced him that you are a danger to yourself," Potter murmured in her ear. Lily pulled her head back and shoved Potter away.
" I'm not your toy Potter. You can't control me. I'm not yours until the day you turn seventeen so stop acting as though I belong to you! You're so sick," Lily exclaimed. Potter's eyes flashed and he advanced on her. His hands curled around her arms and pinned them down. Lily froze as he pressed his chest against hers.
" Lily you may not belong to me yet, but you do answer to my mate Jason. Both of us agreed yesterday evening that your little adventures to Hogsmeade are getting out of hand. Did you read the paper? There were death eaters in Hogsmeade on Friday. Not everybody knows that you're actually a pureblood. What do you think they would have done if they found a pretty little mudblood roaming the streets late at night," Potter growled.
" Potter you're such a hypocrite! That's why you were in Hogsmeade isn't it? You were off murdering innocent peoples," Lily cried. She waited for Potter to deny it, but he didn't. Lily's heart clenched sharply and waves of revulsion shook her. Lily looked at Potter with a glare of disgust.
" Lily don't give me that look. You can't deny that you've got feelings for me. You're worse than me. You're attracted to the one thing that you stand against. Lily you're going to marry me and I will be the person to take your virginity. I am only person you will ever fuck," Potter snarled harshly.
Lily closed her eyes and trembled in his hold. Her breaths became ragged as Potter tightened his grip on her arms. She felt an inkling of hidden revulsion fill her, but not at Potter. Lily was disgusted that she thought about the few secret kisses she traded with Potter. She hated the fact that she was attracted to such an evil man. Lily hated him, but she couldn't honestly deny the sexual tension between them. Now she knew that Potter felt it too.
" Lily don't worry I'm an excellent shag according to the birds I've ever fucked. I assure you that our marriage will not be filled with unpleasant sex," Potter teased. Lily's eyes shot open and she pulled her knee up into Potter' crotch. He grunted and leaned over in pain. Lily grabbed her bag and walked over to the door. Her hand rested on the doorknob as she turned to face Potter's furious face.
" Potter I can assure you that I will be able to resist your sexual skills. I'm planning on a long and celibate marriage," Lily gloated. She turned to open the door but someone grabbed her. Her body was jerked around and shoved against the door. A groan escaped her mouth as she looked up to Potter's amused grin. He leaned in quickly and his lips enveloped hers in a heated kiss.
Lily could feel bolts of pure electricity shoot through her. Potter's lips molded against hers and she lost every ounce of self-control. It had been months since Potter kissed her; Lily had dreams about the few kisses they shared. Lily didn't tell anyone that sometimes some of her nightmares were actually heated moments with Potter. She was deadly embarrassed of that.
Potter's lips danced with hers in a chaotic tango. Suddenly his lips switched to a tangled waltz and Lily took his lead. Lily quickly moved to run her hands through Potter's soft hair. It was just like her memories. Potter's arm wrapped around her waist in a crushing embrace and his right hand cupped her chin. Lily moaned when his tongue slid into her mouth and wrestled against her own. She couldn't feel her heart beating; rather she felt two hearts beat together.
Suddenly the feeling of completion left her. Lily gasped and blinked as veracity shot her in the heart. She blinked and looked up at Potter. He stood in front of her with thoroughly mussed hair and swollen lips. His shirt was disheveled and Lily flushed when she realized that she had done that. Potter's lips were curled in a smug smirk and his eyes were filled with cockiness.
" Lily I'm sure that you'll be able to resist me. Just like this fabulous display of self-control you just had," Potter announced. Lily scowled at him and tugged on a lock of her hair. It was a tangled mess. Her shirt and skirt were disheveled and Lily only assumed that her face was worse. She wrinkled her nose and ignored Potter's smug presence as she began to harshly detangle her hair. Lily repressed a wince of pain as she pulled two strands of hair from her head.
" Don't do that. Your hair is one of my favorite things in life," Potter ordered. He turned Lily and began to lithely undo her knots. Lily felt his fingers dance through her locks of hair and gulped. Her back was pressed into his chest and Lily could feel his deep humming from her position. She bit her lip and quickly moved to settle her clothing. Potter turned her when she finished retying her tie. Lily met his eyes and touched her hair. It wasn't knotted or ragged anymore. Her hair seemed to look glossier with just Potter's touch. It was also incredibly soft. Lily ducked her head and let go of her hair at Potter's intense stare.
" You've got a certain fondness for red fruit Evans. Strawberry shampoo and conditioner, Pomegranate perfume, and watermelon lip gloss," Potter mused with an amused grin. Lily bit her lip and turned to the door. She grabbed her bag and rested her fingers on the doorknob. She paused for a moment before speaking.
" This was an accident Potter. I won't be kissing or touching you anytime soon," Lil declared. Before Potter could say anything, Lily had launched herself out the door and down the hall. He watched he walk away with a hidden demeanor. Lily's tone made him truly believe that she was ashamed of the fact that she was attracted to him. Yet James wouldn't give up.
He never felt the rush and feeling of comfort with other girls before. When Lily touched him he could breathe again. When he saw her standing so close but still so far away, James could barely breathe. Lily's kisses were like choking down air after almost drowning. James needed them to live. But it wasn't just a need. He honestly couldn't deny the click in his heart or soul when Lily smiled at him. He couldn't deny the fact that their hearts seemed to beat in unison. He couldn't deny that she fit perfectly into his body, as if her body was designed to fit his.
Both of them couldn't deny that they were in too deep. Lily was scared to love since everybody she ever loved died. She blocked her friends away and even Jason. She made sure that her and Selena's relationship could never be repaired. Lily kept her friends in England from coming too close to her heart. She made sure that Galen understood that she could never love. Lily even pushed her only willing family away. But James Potter was changing her strong held beliefs. He was making her face all of her pent up emotions and the sea of reality.
James was afraid to love anyone. He couldn't let the curse that his father hated ruin him. So he made sure that every girl he knew was sure that he was heartless and didn't care for her. Until Lily came along; James couldn't keep the feelings that she made him face away.
He was scared to face these foreign emotions, but when Lily was around James thought that he could be brave enough. The sorting hat did consider him for Gryffindor after all. Lily was forcing James to see that love wasn't a deadly weapon; she was making him see that he needed love as much as he needed air to live.
The almost funny thing about James and Lily was that James realized that he was in love long before Lily ever would admit it to even herself. He realized that the muggleborn girl who kissed like breathing air and danced with freedom was the only person he could ever love on a warm summer evening in the woods. But for Lily, love would take much more time.
Loving James would take breaking his heart into shards of agony and suffering. In order for Lily to fall in love with James, she would first have to break his heart so badly that he turned off every emotion he could feel. But that's a story for a later date.
Two days later, Lily sat in the Forbidden Section of the Library thankful that she had a good relationship with Madam Pince. She pursued a textbook on the Imperius Curse and shut it with frustration. Nothing new was present in any of the books. Lily stood up and closed her mum's notebook. She hadn't written anything that day and spent more time reading about her mum's relationship with Pericles Lilius.
Her dead uncle seemed like a fantastic person. According to Delphina's entries, Perry Lilius had chestnut hair and the same color eyes that Delphina had. Lily's mum had described Pericles as a towering and domineering person with almost chiseled features. But her mum commented about his goofy smile and clumsiness. Lily noted dryly that she must have inherited her habit of biting her lip from this man.
She stopped reading the diary when it got to the point when her mum entered her last year of school. Lily thought that there were certain entries that her mum deserved to keep private. She did laugh quietly at the things her mum and her friends did. Lily was shocked to hear that her mum and Mrs. Kingsmill had gone skinny-dipping in the fountain of Circe in the center of the Athenian School of Sorcery's campus. Her mum seemed to have a complete and whole life in Greece, so why did she feel the need to flee the country with a stranger?
Lily sighed and returned the books she was using to their original spots. She leaned down and threw the notebook and her quill into her bag. When Lily stood a book fell from the top shelf and landed on Lily's head. She groaned and rubbed her head before picking up the book. Lily paled when she saw the cover; The Three Types of Magical Fires. She heard footsteps echoing through the section and shoved the large book into her bag.
" Evans what are you doing in here?" Black demanded. Lily looked up from her bag and met Black's inquisitive eyes. She bit her lip and remembered the knife with crusted blood on it from the train ride. Lily's eyes immediately traveled to the sleeve of Black's shirt. She could see a small scar peeking out from his shoulder. It was a knife wound. Lily's mouth became dry as she tried to answer his question.
" DADA homework," Lily managed to squeak. She couldn't let Black know about the book that had fallen from the bookshelf. It would bring too many secrets up. Black leaned against the opposite bookshelf and blocked her way out of the library. Lily glared at his cocky grin and bit her lip.
" We were assigned material on Vampire Bats Evans. Those books aren't in here," Black stated. Lily cursed herself; why was lying getting harder? She cleared her throat and decided to distract Black instead of answer his question.
" Black I would appreciate if you keep your Legilimency to yourself," Lily declared. Black looked at her with a doggish grin and shook his curls from his shoulders with a proud stance.
" Evans I'll try to do that if you can explain that memory I saw with you and Prongs," Black answered wolfishly. Lily coughed and felt a blush crawl up her throat. She ducked her head and looked at Black's shining shoes.
"Black nothing happened; Potter already told you that," Lily replied.
" See Evans I'm just curious since Prongs told me that he found out that you were Jason's sister in June during the Battle of the Ministry. So why did he willingly kiss you two months before that?" Black asked.
" I don't know Black. His dad just died; he wasn't in the right state of mind," Lily muttered tersely.
" Why did you even let him into your house? If I remember last year you hated him," Black demanded.
" I'm not heartless Black. It was raining that night and he was standing in the rain since you and your family were off killing muggles in Bristol," Lily hissed in a low voice. Black ignored her biting answer and continued his interrogation.
" Evans where were you coming from before you saw Prongs?" Black demanded. Lily wrinkled her nose and considered how fast Black's reflexes were. Maybe she could get a good hex and bolt….
" I was visiting family," Lily answered honestly. Black scoffed at this and folded his arms.
" From what I can assess and what Jason tells me you're not really a family person are you?" Black snorted. Lily bristled as his derogatory tone and met his eyes with a loyal stare.
" Black I can't stand most of my brothers but that doesn't mean that I never loved them. They used to be good people when we were younger. I didn't recognize them when I came back," Lily answered stubbornly.
" What type of sister can't even recognize her own brothers?" Black jeered. Lily scowled and clenched her jaw sharply.
" Black I doubt that you're the expert in sibling strife," Lily snorted.
" You'd be surprised Evans. My family was raised so that all of my cousins ended up being like sisters to me. It hurt like hell when Andy became a blood traitor," Black answered. Lily was surprised to hear the slip in his name for Andromeda. She bit her lip and looked behind Black.
" Black my family isn't any of your business. We're the most fucked up family to be raised in. My parents are dead and when they were alive they weren't the nicest people to raise someone. Half of my brothers died from being death eaters. The other half left England since they couldn't be adults for Jason and me. Pericles and Cassius grew up in the shadows of Julius and Lucian; they didn't know how to cope with their own grief let alone take care of Jason and me. Pericles was my guardian for half a year before I did something too much for him to handle. So he pawned me off on Jason. Jason, no matter how much he tries isn't an adult. He's so broken Black and I can't do anything to fix him since that would break me," Lily hissed.
Her anger and sorrows from six months of torture and death radiated on Black. He looked almost scared as Lily shoved past him and made her way out of the library. Her seams were ripping apart and Lily couldn't let that happen. She gathered her fears and emotions and pushed them away. She couldn't face her past. But Lily didn't know that someone was there to help carry her burden, she didn't know the real meaning of family.
Her feet carried her down to the Great Hall. Dinner was just starting so the only members of her friends sitting at the table were Gideon and Adam. Lily greeted them before filling her plate with a slice of Shepard's pie. She could feel someone watching her and frowned. Galen was mouthing something to her from the head table. Lily nodded at him with a confused expression. Why did he want to meet with her after dinner? She saw him stand and quickly stood. After muttering a goodbye to Gideon and Adam, Lily shuffled through crowds of incoming students and made her way to the Entrance Hall. She could see the back of Galen's head as he walked down the left wing of the corridor. Lily followed him and he stopped in an abandoned staircase near the Muggle Studies classroom. Lily could see Cygnus Black from the hallway. She grimaced remembering his role in the death of Harland Evans before stopping behind Galen.
" So Wood is doing well I see," Galen acknowledged. Lily nodded before shoving her hair into a tight ponytail.
" Yeah he doesn't have any scars or wounds left. Someone sent a vial of Phoenix Tears to him," Lily answered. The true meaning behind her words lingered in the air.
" It's not who you think it would be Rose. Moody got word from him the other day…" Galen started. His eyes flickered to the Muggle Studies classroom and he took his wand out.
" Muffliato," Galen whispered. Lily frowned in confusion as he put his want back inside of his pocket.
" Black could be listening to us. I'd hate for him to report back to Malfoy about this. Anyways, Dumbledore didn't say much other than that he doesn't know how long his mission will take. He did have a peculiar request though," Galen mused.
" What was it?" Lily asked. Galen brushed a piece of lint from his shirt before facing Lily. His face was pulled into a grimace as he spoke.
" He wants Bishop to offer his assistance at the American Auror Department," Galen answered. Lily froze and mulled this over. The only reason Dumbledore could ever want to send aurors across the Atlantic was a dire one.
" Does he really think that Voldemort will spread off of the European continent?" Lily demanded in a low voice. That mere thought was too depressing. If Voldemort was going to send his forces to America he was literally informing the British Ministry of Magic that he didn't need to put all of his forces into fighting them. He was telling the world that he could win the war in England without all of his forces.
" Mundungus Fletcher informed the Order of that information. He's a seedy bloke but Dumbledore seems to trust him. When Snape and Pettigrew backed Fletcher's statement up with their Intel from the death eaters, Dumbledore wrote back for the first time," Galen answered in a despairing voice. Before Lily could say anything he continued.
" That's not even the worse thing. Selena wrote to me the other day. She said that Dementors aren't the only problem in Greece. Apparently there have been recent activities that seem too similar to the death eater massacres here," Galen stated in a growl. Lily froze and gulped; Pericles was there. He did say that Voldemort was trying to spread his influence internationally.
" It's not death eaters Rose. Last full moon at least three villages were fully massacred. My friend from the auror department told me that the wounds look like bites and claw marks," Galen finished. His words chilled Lily's heart and she straightened her back with the weight of his statement.
" Werewolves," Lily whispered. She waited for Galen to deny it but he never did. Suddenly a bout of dizziness hit her and Lily leaned against the wall behind her. She slid down it and pulled her knees up to her chest. Lily thought that when Professor Gladstone killed Josiah Crichton the werewolves of Greece were done fighting. But she was wrong. There was always someone waiting in the wings to become a new leader.
" Right. The head of the Greek Auror Department wants me to come back. She thinks that we're fighting a losing war here. I told her that I would stay until the war was actually finished though. She then went on to tell me that there were signs of dark activity throughout Europe. Vampires have plagued Italy. The merman population surrounded the coasts of Spain is in disarray and not letting any ships out of ports. Romania is having issues controlling their dragons. Germany and France are dealing with troll and giant invasions into large cities. I heard that the Netherlands aren't doing so well either. According to some sources Moody has in Sweden, the government has already surrendered to Voldemort. Switzerland and Albania are going to try and fight," Galen declared in a hopeless voice.
Lily didn't know the extent of the international war. They were fighting a losing war, and Moody wasn't telling anyone the truth. She balled up her fists and remembered Galen's comment about Greece. He wasn't going back and Lily felt guilt from the relief that gave her. Galen knew how to fight werewolves better than even she did, and Lily was from a family of werewolf hunters. But there was someone else who would be more than willing to go to Greece and deal with the werewolves.
" What about Professor Gladstone? Her time in Azkaban is almost up Galen. If she goes to Greece, I bet she could have the werewolf situation cleared up in less than two months," Lily offered. Her friend's expression darkened and he cleared his throat.
" Rose there's no way the death eaters will let Gladstone off the hook for hurting one of their kind. There's going to be a trial in front of the Wizengamot on Friday morning. Jason Gastor wants Gladstone to be sentenced to Azkaban for more time. I doubt it's about his injury rather than the risk of her hurting you again," Galen answered. Lily narrowed her eyes and knew what he was trying to tell her to do.
" Telling Jason that his own aunt tried to slice his sister's chest open would kill him. He doesn't know much about my mum's family Gale," Lily argued. But she was arguing for no reason. Galen and her both knew what she had to do. If Lily didn't get Jason to let Judea off the hook then there would be no one in Greece to fight the werewolves.
"Lily it's not your decision to make. He has a right to know about Professor Gladstone even if you don't want him to. Telling him the truth may change the outcome of the war," Galen answered.
" Gale one of his best friends is a werewolf. I don't know how he'll react when he finds out that his mum comes from a family of werewolf hunters,' Lily said.
" Then don't tell him about that. Just tell him that Professor Gladstone is his aunt," Galen bargained. Lily sighed and crossed her arms. She knew that Galen was right, but Lily was afraid to face Jason once he knew the truth.
" Gale he's my brother, I can't break him like that," Lily argued half-heartedly. Her friend didn't respond. He patted her shoulder and squeezed her hand before standing.
" Lily Jason needs to see that you are not the innocent girl who screamed from her nightmares anymore. He needs to know that you became an adult when he was off murdering innocents with his friends," Galen finished. Lily watched him walk out of the hallway with a meek stare. It was time for a little sibling bonding…
The next night, Lily watched Jason with cautious eyes at dinner. She spoke to her friends about the upcoming match on Saturday but her mind wandered to her secret. Lily knew that telling Jason the truth about their aunt was the right thing to do. But she was scared to face Jason's wrath. Lily sighed and pushed her plate away. She looked up and saw that Jason and Potter were leaving the hall. Lily ignored Marlene and Frank's stares as she grabbed her bag and left the room. Lily jogged behind them and grabbed Jason shoulder.
Suddenly she was shoved into the wall and a wand was pressed into her neck. Someone held her hand tightly and Lily choked for air.
" Lily why do you insist on sneaking up on people during a bloody war?" Potter demanded from her left. Lily scowled at him and Jason let go of her. His eyes flashed down to her left hand and he pulled her sleeve back. Lily jerked her arm back and hit the wall sharply. She ignored the stabs of pain in her elbow and glared at her brother.
" I wasn't sneaking up on you lot Potter! It's not my fault that you two are the size of Great Danes," Lily hissed. She didn't know why Potter angered her more than usual. Actually she did; it had something to do with the kiss he stole from her the other day.
" Lily what do you need?" Jason sighed. He glanced from her to Potter with an amused stare. Lily looked around and saw that the hallway they were in was almost completely empty.
" I need to talk to you about that trial you're attending tomorrow morning," Lily answered. Her brother's face twisted into a scowl and Potter snorted. Lily glared at him and crossed her arms.
"Potter this is between me and Jason. Could you leave?" Lily demanded. Potter snorted at the thought of doing what she wanted. But Jason raised a hand to him and stared at Lily with a confused expression.
" I would think that you above all people would want Gladstone to be in Azkaban for more time," Jason drawled. Lily bit her lip and knew that she had to tell him the truth.
" Jason she's saved my life more than once," Lily answered. If it wasn't for her private lessons with the bitter Judea Gladstone, then Lily would have killed herself more than once by now.
" Lily that spell she used was dark magic. If it hit you in the chest then you probably wouldn't be alive," Jason hissed. Lily groaned and tugged on a lock of her hair. Potter already knew the truth about her aunt but Lily didn't want to tell Jason the truth in front of him. She could see an empty courtyard from her position against the wall.
" Potter just give me a moment with Jason. Please?" Lily asked. Potter's eyes twinkled with amusement, but he allowed her to lead Jason to the courtyard. Lily stood near an enchanted fountain of Queen Maeve. Jason crossed his arms and faced her.
"Lily I'm not going to let Professor Gladstone off the hook for almost killing you. She deserves to spend more time in Azkaban," Jason declared.
" Jace she's been through enough stuff in her life; she doesn't deserve to spend the rest of her life in Azkaban," Lily argued. Her brother snorted as he twirled his wand through his fingers with a wicked expression.
" Lily you need to stop being such a martyr. You've done enough already," Jason announced.
" What do you mean?" Lily asked with a confused frown. Her brother looked over to the hallway where Potter stood. He turned to her with a vexed expression.
" Why do you keep making deals with James? You already owe him a favor and now you've gone and made a bet with him," Jason snarled in vexation. Lily crossed her arms and met his stare indignantly.
" Jace we've been over this; Potter didn't claim that favor for over five months. He probably forgot about it. And the bet is going to help me. My team creamed yours last time we played each other," Lily assured.
" Lily, James doesn't forget about these types of things. You owe him and you don't even know what that means. Lily making that bet was so idiotic and reckless. James is a Slytherin; I've known him for most of my life. He could make you do anything since it was magically bonded," Jason answered. Lily frowned; when did Potter bond the bet with magic?
"It's James's signature trick. He keeps a nonverbal binding charm on his hand and then shakes yours. I've lost enough bets to him to know when he uses magic," Jason scoffed. Lily paled and thought about how Potter shook her hand after they made that bet. If the bet was magically bound, the results were similar to the unbreakable vow, but less severe. Lily once made a bet and magically bounded it with Benjy Auclair. He was obligated by an invisible force to attend the next Quidditch match they had wearing the opposite team's colors. Lily cursed herself; how could she trust Potter? Yet if she won the bet, then Potter wouldn't be able to speak to her for three blissful months.
" Jason don't worry Gryffindor will win that game," Lily assured. Her brother's lips pulled into an amused grin and his worrisome nature was forgotten. Really what is life without a little sibling rivalry?
" Lily I'm not too sure about that. The only reason you won the first game of the season was since you surprised us with that switch," Jason declared arrogantly. Lily rolled her eyes and stuck her head up with a proud expression.
" So you're admitting that you and Potter couldn't handle my chasing skills?" Lily asked in a sickly innocent tone. Jason smiled wryly and ruffled her hair. Lily wrinkled her nose and shoved his large hand away. She leaned up and swatted Jason's winded hair. He pulled away with a laugh and looked at Lily with a laughing beam.
" I surrender Lils! Why did you ask me to talk to you in the first place?" Jason asked as his laughter started to end. The easy going and fun atmosphere fled the area when Lily was reminded of her original purpose for talking to Jason.
" I need to tell you something about mum," Lily started. Jason's face contorted into a serious expression and his lips pursed. A light wind rustled through the courtyard and Lily shivered slightly. Jason didn't offer her his cloak. She tugged on the ends of her hair with a guilty expression.
" Mum wasn't an only child Jace. You never met mum's parents so you never really recognized mum's little sister. Granddad had chestnut hair and mum's eyes and Grandmum had mum's hair and russet eyes. Professor Gladstone and mum sort of swapped their characteristics," Lily admitted. Jason froze and his face darkened for a moment. Lily saw a flash of pain in his eyes; that killed her with a slow burn.
" Mum had a sister and you didn't bother to tell me or any of us?" Jason hissed in a low voice. Lily knew that he was talking about her brothers when he said us. She looked down with a guilty expression and blinked sharply.
" Jason I couldn't exactly tell you when mum and dad wouldn't let me come home or even write," Lily snapped harshly.
" Well you've been in England for almost a year and you decided to tell me that our mum had a sister who was almost twenty years younger than her after said sister tries to kill you? Ugh that's disgusting; our own aunt hated you," Jason exclaimed.
" Jace you don't understand what she's been through," Lily hissed in a low voice.
" What is it worse than having your parents and brothers killed? Is it worse than being abandoned by the only brothers you have left and your sole sister won't give the slightest damn about you?" Jason growled. Lily's heart plummeted at his speech but she held her ground.
" Her husband killed their son and his cousin killed mum's parents. Professor Gladstone's husband and her cousin-in-law tried to kill her and me. We barely got out Jason. She's been living in her own personal hell for the past four years so don't give me shit about how she deserves to go to Azkaban. Her son was murdered right in front of her," Lily snarled. Jason's face contorted for a moment before he settled on anger.
" Why didn't mum and dad tell us anything about this?" Jason demanded.
"Because Jason that isn't your life! Your life is here in England with those snotty balls and brunches. Mum left that part of her life behind so that we never had to experience what she was raised in," Lily shot back.
" What did she experience Lily? What scared mum so badly that she left her parents and little sister behind?" Jason ordered. Lily's anger got out of control and she immediately regretted the next thing she said.
" Jason you never had to endure our crazy grandparents. You never had to know that we descend from a line of bloody werewolf hunters. You've never had to look at a man chained to a wall with blood streaming down his face as your grandfather screams at you to take your knife and kill him. You've never had to see the disappointment on the faces of the only family that you have left when you were too weak to kill an innocent man. Mum's hell became my life when she and dad sent me to Greece," Lily roared. She regretted it so much. The plain agony and hurt on Jason's face almost killed her. It was as though someone took a dagger and stabbed her in the heart over and over again but she never died.
After a few minutes, which seemed like hours, Jason pushed his pain away and hid under a disguise of sarcasm and anger.
" Any other secrets mum had?" Jason demanded. Lily knew that she owed two last things to her brother. It wasn't her choice to tell him; it was his right to know.
" Mum didn't leave Greece because of our bloodthirsty grandparents. Jason for the record I only found out about this a few weeks ago. Mum had a twin brother and she used to be in love with Galen's mum's dead brother. I think that they were going to get married. Our uncle and mum's first love were aurors. They got killed on some mission and mum left Greece before their funeral," Lily admitted in a mournful voice.
Her brother's chest rose in silent agony as he tried to contain his pain. Lily moved to hold his hand but the second her fingers touched his, he pulled back and stared at her with a crazed expression.
" Don't touch me. Don't talk to me. I can't deal with this Lily. I thought that our family was screwed up enough but mum's family makes us look positively sane," Jason muttered more to himself than Lily. He backed away and Lily watched him leave with despairing expression. Her hand landed by her side and each step Jason took away from her broke her a little more. This time, Lily was afraid to move. She didn't know if her broken soul would be able to handle mere movements.
No one came for her not even Potter. Lily moved and pushed her feelings and emotions away. Jason was supposed to be different from all of her brothers and anyone that she ever loved. He was supposed to be there for her regardless of the things she did. But he left her and Lily was left alone. Darkness engulfed her as the sun faded away and dusk ended.
" Davies has caught the snitch! Gryffindor wins 250-230," Lupin called out. Lily clenched her jaw as she flew down to the ground. It wasn't Trevor's fault that Ravenclaw had a pair of thugs for beaters. Only twenty minutes ago, Madam Pomfrey was levitating Trevor out of the pitch. Lily was forced to play as seeker and let Marlene and Frank handle the chasing. That would have gone well if it weren't for the fact that Lily had been slammed into the Hufflepuff stands by two bludgers. She nearly fell from her broom but refused to stop playing. While she was pushing her body back on her broom, Justin Davies caught the snitch and ended the match. Lily wasn't upset about her fall or the sly bludgers that hit her. She was upset that even though Gryffindor won the most matches, they were still in second place to Slytherin.
Lily had been relying on this game to get enough points for Gryffindor to overtake Slytherin. But that didn't happen. Gryffindor had nearly lost this game thanks to Adam getting jinxed while he was patrolling the night before. With Adam gone, the team almost disqualified from the match. Luckily, Michael got approval from Pomfrey to play. His return to the pitch caused a stir in the aura of the game.
People knew that with Wood keeping and Evans chasing the game was already won. Yet they didn't account for Gideon getting distracted when Trevor was hit with one bludger and toppled from his broom down to the ground. Gideon ended up getting hit with the other bludger and Gryffindor was forced to play with only five members of their team.
Lily took the strap of her chest guard off and grimaced. Her right side rammed into the wood of the stands and it was killing her. But Lily lost the game. She had to do something to keep the four-year winning streak that Gryffindor had. But the odds that Gryffindor could overtake Slytherin looked grim. Lily knew that with rigorous practices they could win the game in December. Yet unless she and the other chasers managed to get a lead of 200 points then Gryffindor would be stuck in their position for second.
Lily was concerned about Trevor. His fall ended with his legs snapping on the ground with a sickening twist. Lily could see the blood surrounding him from over twenty feet above him. She made a note to ditch the party and go to the hospital wing. Lily staggered over and coughed sharply. She was getting her annual dosage of fall allergies. See unlike most people, Lily didn't suffer through pollen allergies. She had an unlucky inheritance from her dad's family that all of her brothers didn't have. Lily was allergic to leaf mold, otherwise known as the stuff that made leaves change color. One of her dorm mates in France liked to joke that she was allergic to autumn.
But the entire experience wasn't funny for Lily. She had an excellent immune system and never got ill. But once a year, horrid allergies hit her hard. Lily sniffled and wrinkled her nose. From a check in the mirror that morning, Lily's nose was a permanent bright red. She could hear her own ragged breaths.
"Lily there's a party in the Common Room," Marlene called out. Lily twisted her head back and saw that her team was walking with her to the locker rooms. She kept a fake grin on her face and turned to them.
" You lot go on without me. I need to go to the hospital wing for my side," Lily answered. She brushed off their attempts to help her get to the hospital wing. Lily showered in the locker rooms and changed into a pair of slacks and a long-sleeve t-shirt. She frowned at the material of the shirt; it clung to her skin too much. After pulling her hair into a loose ponytail Lily shoved her equipment into her locker and put her broom inside of her bracelet. She slid a pair of boots on and grabbed her wand as she left the room. The pitch was empty save for herself. Lily sighed and rubbed her eyes with a yawn. She needed a pepper up potion immediately.
Her feet carried her through the grounds and to the castle. Lily was tired. She didn't even bother drying her hair. It dangled behind her in wet clumps and she looked like a drowned cat. She sneezed and bumped into someone. Lily looked up and met Potter's concerned eyes. He watched her with a frown as his eyes traced all of the signs of illness on her figure.
" Potter could you move? I need to go to the hospital wing," Lily ordered. But her voice was horse and frail. It cracked in the middle of her sentence and took the threat from her voice. Lily crossed her arms over her chest and tried to ignore the ache in her side.
" You don't look so good Lils," Potter murmured. The two of them stood near a window in an empty corridor. Lily shivered at Potter's tone.
" I'm sick Potter. Now move before I sneeze on you," Lily ordered. But with her tired eyes and red nose she sounded more childish than threatening. Potter actually had the nerve to pull his thick coat off and wrap it over Lily's shoulders. She coughed as the scent of Potter' cologne and green apple smell engulfed her. Potter smiled almost fondly at her before tucking her under his shoulder. He only wore a button down shirt and a pair of jeans.
" Here I'll take you to the hospital wing," Potter offered. It was more of a demand really. Lily wrinkled her nose and protested but Potter refused to let go of her. She huffed indignantly as they approached the staircase to the next floor.
" Potter I'm not a child for Merlin's sake," Lily complained. Potter's lips pulled up into a grin as he looked at her ragged form.
" You're cute when you're trying to be angry Evans," Potter declared roguishly. Lily wanted to slap that grin off his face. She could have but Potter's hold was somewhat comforting. She ignored his comment and walked with him up the stairs. Lily barely noticed that Potter slowed his pace considerably to match her sluggish one.
" Good chasing today Evans. How's your side?" Potter commended. Lily stopped walked and hissed in pain when his fingers brushed the surface of her right side. Potter frowned and stopped walking when they reached the top of the staircase. He pulled her into an empty alcove and yanked the hem of her shirt up. Lily blushed; she was thankful that most students were at the Gryffindor party or completing some of the excess homework they were assigned due to the war.
" Potter what the hell are you doing?" Lily growled. But it came out in a high-pitched squeak and Potter's eyes flashed with pleasure before he continued pulling Lily's shirt up. She writhed against his hold and he tucked her into his chest so that he could get a better look at her side. Lily whimpered in pain when his fingers brushed the large bruise forming over her ribs. She had to avoid getting hurt there.
"Lily shite why didn't you tell Pomfrey or one of your team mates about this?" Potter asked in a low voice. He pulled Lily's shirt down and pushed her from the alcove. She struggled to keep up with his fast pace.
" I didn't think it was that bad Potter," Lily answered. She rolled her eyes at Potter's dark look and brushed a clump of wet hair from her temple.
" Evans you really don't know what the definition of a bad wound is," Potter snorted. Lily scowled at his comment. She knew what pain was; her bruise wasn't that bad. But as Lily thought about it her side seemed to magnify its pain. She blinked sharply and felt a sudden burst of pain rack her side. Lily stopped moving and Potter tugged her forward for a moment before noticing her predicament.
" Lily what's wrong?" Potter asked. He turned her into his chest and rubbed her back soothingly. Lily blinked sharply and tried to get rid of the sudden agony.
" It hurts," she whispered. Her voice came out in a choked croak. Potter's face contorted in concern. He quickly pulled her up at her knees and carried her. Lily let him drag her over to the hospital wing. Her eyes fluttered open when she felt a bright florescent light hit her. She groaned and heard Potter calling for someone. Suddenly his presence was gone and a wand probed her side. Lily couldn't keep herself from shifting away from the wand in pain.
" Miss Evans please stop moving," a voice ordered. Lily groaned and shoved the hand that was trying to touch her forehead away. Suddenly someone grabbed her and she relaxed against his warm and comforting hold. She pushed her face into the person's arm when a wand shot healing spells into her side. Lily loved the concept of healing but she hurt herself too much to ever consider becoming one. She also didn't have the best pain radar according to Potter.
" Mr. Potter please stay here and wait until Miss Evans wakes up. I need to check on Mr. Prewitt," someone ordered. Lily noticed that her pain was gone. Other than the sudden urge to sneeze, Lily felt perfectly fine. Her eyes fluttered open and she met the sight of Potter's coat draped over her chest like a blanket. Her head craned up as she made eye contact with Potter. Lily jumped back and noticed that she was practically draped over Potter. She tried to move away but he wouldn't let her. Lily scowled and saw that her hair was dry. How did Potter know a hair drying spell?
" Evans Pomfrey left some pepper up potion for your allergies," Potter commented. Lily leaned up and Potter pulled away from her. He stood and grabbed a glass filled with a minty liquid. Potter pulled her up into a sitting position and Lily scowled at him as he tried to feed her the potion. She snatched the glass from his hands and took a sip of the potion. She twisted her face from the mint taste and Potter ran his hand through his hair with a chuckle.
" So you're not afraid to fall from extreme heights but your downfall is an allergy to leaves," Potter teased. Lily blushed; why did Pomfrey tell him about that? She finished the potion and Potter took it from her hands. She looked down balefully and examined her hands.
" It's more that I don't like being sick. It's a sign of weakness," Lily answered. Potter nodded and continued to play with her hair. Lily leaned back in his hold for a moment. She knew that Madam Pomfrey slipped a calming draught into the pepper up potion due to Lily's panic. Yet with Potter around it really wasn't necessary.
" Did Jason tell you what happened at his trial yesterday?" Lily asked suddenly. Potter nodded and shot her a curious expression.
" Gladstone got off the hook but she was sent back to Greece. Jason made sure of that. Only he won't tell me why you two are fighting," Potter revealed. Lily grimaced; the last time she was in a fight with Jason she was eight and he blew out the candles on Lily's birthday cake. She hoped that this fight could be resolved with her giving him a hug like he had done to her when they were eight. Lily was wrong about that.
" Let's say that Jason didn't appreciate me keeping some information about our mum from him. You're lucky that you don't have any siblings Potter; they're a right pain," Lily sighed.
" I doubt that Lily. Being an only child was a tad lonely. I mean I did practically grow up with Sirius and I knew Jason vaguely since I was born but I was alone," Potter mused. His hands moved to pull Lily to his chest and she could feel his heart from her back.
" I've always grown up with someone. Whether it was my brothers or the Kingsmills or even Benjy; I was never really alone," Lily answered. Potter's eyes rose when she mentioned the Kingsmills.
" Kingsmills?" He murmured. Lily felt his lips brushed her surface of her neck and blushed. That damn calming draught, she thought.
" My mum was friends with our DADA teacher's mum when she lived in Greece. They were practically sisters. When I lived in Greece, I stayed with my mum's parents. They lived across the streets from the Kingsmills. I grew up with Galen and his sister Selena. We used to be like sisters, Selena and me. Not Galen he was more of an annoying brother; like Jason but older and goofier," Lily pondered.
Potter's lips pulled into a light grin against her skin. Lily shivered and he pulled her closer to his hold. Lily wondered where Madam Pomfrey was.
" What happened between you and Selena?" Potter asked. Lily was surprised to hear some actual curiosity in his voice. He seemed interested in who she was.
" My grandparents got killed by werewolves and my parents shipped me off to France to stay with my godparents. But my godmother died before I arrived in France. I stayed with Darcy Auclair. He used to be friends with my dad when they went to Hogwarts," Lily answered. She felt awfully babbly for some reason. Lily remembered reading that it was the side effect of a numbing spell. Madam Pomfrey must have used one on her side.
" I'm sorry Lils," Potter whispered near her ear. Lily hummed slightly and leaned back into his hold. She hated him so much but he had incredibly gentle arms.
" It's alright. My grandparents were really not at the right age to raise kids so I pretty much lived with Selena and Galen until I could go to school,' Lily answered. Potter didn't respond. Instead he hummed against her skin and Lily broke into a shiver.
" Potter…" Lily murmured. He made a noise of acknowledgement against the skin of her neck as he advanced towards her jaw.
" I thought that Galen took my first kiss for almost three years. But it turns out that you did. I kind of hate you for taking everything from me," Lily whispered. She couldn't stop talking. Potter froze against the junction of her pulse point.
" Lily I'm not taking things from you. You belong to me so whatever I do to you isn't me taking. It's me owning you," Potter said in a husky voice to her neck. Lily paused for a moment as his lips traced a circle over her pulse. She leaned her head back unconsciously to give Potter a better angle. That damn spell; Pomfrey needed to find new practices that wouldn't make Lily let Potter practically shag her neck. She couldn't repress the low moan from her throat as Potter's teeth nibbled on the delicate skin covering her artery.
"James what are you doing to me?" Lily begged as Potter circled his arms around her waist. His teeth pulled into a vicious grin against her neck and Lily arched her back unconsciously into his chest. Suddenly Potter pulled himself off her and stood near her bed with a disdained expression. Lily frowned and tried to speak but someone interrupted her.
" Miss Evans your side should be fine now. You look a tad flushed. Maybe you should stay the night for those allergies of yours…" Pomfrey deliberated from the front of Lily's bed. Lily's eyes widened; she couldn't stay here for more time. Suddenly reality seemed to engulf her whole. She hated hospitals; how did Potter even manage to get her inside of the hospital wing without her hexing him. Oh that's right she was practically dying in his arms. Lily flushed a deep pink and shoved the memories of Potter's teeth and mouth against her skin.
" No I'm just tired from the Quidditch match Madam Pomfrey. I'm sure that I'll get better sleep in my own dorm," Lily exclaimed. The stern matron looked at her with a dubious stare. Potter moved up and stood in front of the woman.
" Madam Pomfrey I think it would be better for Evans to leave. You know with the person that is going to come down here later tonight, we wouldn't want suspicion to arise," Potter announced in an innocently tone. Pomfrey's eyes widened and she looked over at Lily with a nod.
" Miss Evans you're free to go then," Madam Pomfrey finished once she looked at Lily's side. Lily thanked the matron and grabbed her wand from the side table. Her feet carried her outside and Potter walked next to her. Lily glanced at him and knew that she had to thank him for bringing her to the hospital wing. But she didn't want to. Just because Potter did one nice thing didn't mean that he was suddenly a good person.
" Potter why are you following me?" Lily demanded in a huff. She stopped walking and turned to Potter. He was watching her with a blank expression. Suddenly he ran his hand through his hair and looked down. Lily's hands sat by her sides. Potter narrowed his eyes and grabbed her left hand sharply. Lily was shoved into his chest and Potter's face twisted into a scowl.
" When did you get this?" Potter demanded. Lily stared at him in confusion and he flung her left arm into her point of view. Lily bit her lip when she saw the open scar written in her own handwriting. I will not tell lies. The five words were permanently carved into the skin of her hand.
" It's none of your business," Lily growled. Potter's eyes flashed violently and Lily tried to step out of his hold. He grabbed her chin and pushed it into his face.
" When were you going to tell me about this?" Potter ordered. Lily blushed as his grip around her chin tightened.
" Potter it's nothing to make a big deal about," Lily answered. Suddenly her body was flung against the stone of the wall and Potter's arms kept her trapped there. She met his eyes and saw storms of fury.
" How did you get it?" Potter commanded. Lily didn't answer him immediately and he pushed his chest against her body. Lily felt his lips brushed the tip of her ear and shivered.
" Evans if you don't tell me how the fuck you got a bloody sentence carved into your skin, I will make sure that your friends end up in the hospital wing," Potter growled. Lily filled with sharp surprise and blinked. The image of Emmeline battered form and Fabian's bruised lip entered her mind. Lily licked her lips and looked down.
" Detention with Malfoy," Lily answered meekly. Potter crossed his arms and closed his eyes. Lily tried to slip past him but his lower body was still pressed against hers. She froze when she felt a certain appendage that she really didn't want to feel.
" This wouldn't have happened if you told people the truth about whom you are," Potter hissed. Lily clenched her jaw and ran a hand through her hair angrily.
" Potter this is how muggleborns are treated every single day! You're mad when I get treated like a muggleborn yet you don't even care about them," Lily exclaimed. Potter fist collided with the wall next to her head. Lily winced when she heard a crack come from his hand.
" That's because I'm not in love with those mudbloods!" Potter shouted. Lily froze and stared at him. He seemed to just realize what he had said. His hand stood by his side with blood dripping from it. Potter's eyes flashed with a powerful emotion that scared Lily. He moved his free arm to hold her. But something changed. He did it so cautiously and gently. Lily leaned her head against his chest and felt him tap out a melody against her hips. Her heart faltered when she realized what the melody was.
" Lily I love you. I love you so much that it hurts to breathe. Every time you enter the room I can feel my heart skipping a beat. When I'm with you I want to just touch you. No, I need to touch you. Lily I've loved you ever since I saw you at that ball last Christmas. I can't explain how much I want to kiss you. But whenever you speak to me I can literally feel my heart pumping love to every cell in my body, and only love for you. I love the way you always skip a step when you walk up staircases. I love the way your eyes light up when you do and you don't fall. I love the way your hand is always covered in ink since you're left handed. I love the way you give yourself into the music whenever you're playing the piano. I love how you're so loyal to your friends no matter what happens. I love the way you care about everything and try to fix the world. I love how you scrunch your nose when you're annoyed. I love you Lily I love you so much that every time you get hurt, I feel like my heart bleeds your blood," James declared.
His eyes shone with so much passion and he seemed to forget about his bleeding hand. His body curved into Lily's and he leaned down to meet her eyes in a spark of love. But the thing is that James Potter is sort of horrible with timing. He doesn't know that Lily is too scared to love anyone. He doesn't know that she spends her life pushing people away so that she doesn't feel pain when they die. He doesn't know that she is on the verge of teetering off the edge and that his little declaration just took her broken pieces and stabbed them into his whole soul. He didn't know that Lily wasn't ready to love him, but she knew that she could. He didn't know that Lily was going to break his heart and he would feel heartbreak for the first time in his entire life. But that's okay, in order for Lily to love James; she has to break his heart first.
Her eyes widened and she stared at James with no emotions. He was still reeling from his passionate speech. But even James could see the fear and distress running through Lily's eyes. But it wasn't for him. Lily was so scared because James Potter thought about love in the same way she did. His words seemed to be taken from her own thoughts. He was just like her and that scared Lily so much.
" James I don't think you even know what love is," Lily started. Her heart clenched tightly as James's eyes lit up with a flash of pain. He didn't speak but he let go of Lily and moved away from her.
" You think that love is protecting the people you love but it isn't. Loving someone means that you're willing to let go of them, even if you're never going to see them again. But you're too selfish to ever be able to do that. You will never be able to love me since you're not strong enough to let go of me. I could never love you," Lily answered. Images of her mum flashed through her mind as she spoke. But across from her James Potter was reeling from his distress. He never pulled down all of his shields and guards before. The first time that he did, Lily took a stake of pain and truth and stabbed him in the heart. His eyes flashed like thunderstorms as he staggered away from Lily.
" Lily you're the one who's too afraid to love anyone. You pushed your friends and you pushed Jason away. He needs you and you're too damn afraid to let him in. I love you and you can't handle that so you spew some garbage about how I'm incapable of love. You're wrong. You're the one who doesn't know what love is. I grew up surrounded with love and I know what love is. Love is being strong enough to let your son choose his fate even though it could kill him. Love is being a brother to someone when they need you. Love is holding onto something and never letting go," James whispered.
But his speech seemed more like an attempt to convince himself rather than Lily. Lily took a step towards him but he shoved her away. She watched as his eyes flashed chaotically and he moved away from her.
" James," Lily pleaded. But James Potter was done. He quickly raised his shields and walls to love. His eyes clouded over as he walked away from Lily. He stopped in the middle of the hallway and turned for a moment.
" I can't even look at your pathetic face anymore. You're too afraid to even face love. You're just disgusting," Potter declared. Lily's heart shattered with each step he took away from her. But her soul had embedded itself into his. Even though he was building up a strong hatred for her and she was too afraid to love him, they were still connected.
" I'm sorry," Lily whispered. But no one heard her. Only a broken hallway filled with heartbreak and loss did. Lily wasn't apologizing to James; she was apologizing to herself for being too scared to love him.
Sorry for the long wait! The next chapter will hopefully be out sooner...
Also the name for Confingo doesn't come from the blasting spell, Confringo. Confingo is a word in Latin which means " I fabricate." That should be a hint for the name of the story.
R&R
-Rin