Disclaimer: I don't own P&P….at all.

"Alex?" my mother's worried voice startled me out of my surprised stupor. I was still on the porch, and had no idea how long I had been there. "Alex, what are you doing out here? Come inside, Jaime wants to tell us something." My mother pulled me inside and towards the living room where my family had gathered. Jaime was seated on the couch, looking timid. My mother sat me and herself on the opposite couch and indicated that Jaime should go ahead with her news.

"Well. I met Kye Bingle again while I was in London." She started

"That boy isn't worth your time. He left you…." My mother was only shut up by Jaime thrusting her left hand out and her engagement ring flashing in the light.

My mother gasped and grabbed Jaime's hand. "You're engaged!?" she exclaimed.

"Yeah. It happened before I came back home." Jaime muttered, her pale skin flushing a brilliant red. My mother looked back towards me. "You knew and didn't tell me?" she accused.

"Jaime told me…"

"Oh, I have got to call Linda and tell her all about this. She'll be so jealous. Her daughter can't get so much as a date." My mother let go of Jaime's hand and rushed out of the room. My father smiled at my sister. "Congratulations, Jaime." My dad got up and patted Jaime's shoulder, before leaving the room. Katie and Liza ogled the ring, while I made my own exit.

My sisters seemed to be in excellent shape. Katie's baby had support and the love of my family. Jaime was getting married to her high school sweet heart. And I was still more confused than I had ever been. Darce had helped Katie. Who was to say that he hadn't done something to help Jaime and Kye get back together. Maybe, I had misjudged him. He seemed a cold, prideful guy who did not care for anyone but himself. But was that really who he was?

That night, I dreamed. I dreamt I was in a field. I was walking as the sun was rising slowly behind me. It was chilly and I wrapped my arms around myself. It was then that I noted I was wearing a dress that looked severely dated. As in the style it would've been back in the 18th century. The dress was plain, but still had its own gracefulness about it in the way that it flowed. In my dream I knew something had happened to put me in a thoughtful mood. I don't know who I was looking for, but subconsciously I knew I was looking for someone. I wandered across a small bridge that lay over a small brook. It was on the bridge that I stopped and looked over it into the water. In my dream, I stared for a long time, the water playing with my imagination.

After a time I saw a face become clear in the stream. I smiled at what I thought was an image produced from my imagination, until I felt his hand on my arm, and felt his breath tickle my ear.

"Alex…." He breathed.

"Alex! Get up! Geez, it's 11 o'clock and you still need to pack!" my mother startled me awake from my dream. I still felt the warmth of his breath and the weight of his hand. But who was he? I knew that voice, yet I couldn't place it. I buried my head under my pillow till I felt my mother pull it off.

"Alexandria Benne, get your lazy ass out of bed…now!" she walked away again mumbling something about ungrateful children. She seemed to be in a bad mood. But then she usually was when Jaime, and I guess me too now, was about to leave.

I did get up this time and glanced about my room. There were boxes piled in the corners full of clothing and stuff that I'd need in my dorm room at NYU. It seemed like only yesterday I had moved into this suburban nightmare. This one place that had changed my life in ways that I still didn't understand. But it had changed my life, and maybe even to some extent it had changed me as well.

This place had had an effect on our family that I am sure none of us saw coming. Katie having a child, Liza growing up quickly to accommodate, and Maria deserting the family because things got too hard. Jaime had met the love of her life and had it stolen from her, only to be restored her love much later. And what had happened to me? I had met my best friend and helped her find the love of her life. I had been proposed to and rejected him flat. I had gone to London and had the feelings which I was so sure of; feelings of loathing for a man who I had misjudged, start to become questioned.

As all of these things ran through my head, I began to pack up the last of my stuff. Tomorrow, Jaime would be on a plane to London and I would be loading my newly acquired Jeep and heading up to New York for my first year of college.

"ALEX!" my mother practically screamed from downstairs.

"I'm up! I swear!" I yelled back at her.

"Well get down here. You have a phone call!" she called back. Sheesh, we had a cordless. Would it have killed her to walk up the stairs instead of killing the poor person on the other line's ear?

"Coming!" I stomped down the stairs my mood suddenly darkened by my mother. She handed me the phone and went back into the kitchen.

"Hello?"

"Alex! Oh, Hey! I am so glad to talk to you. So, my wedding has been moved up to August 20th. Can you make it? Oh, please say you can! You're the maid of honor! Which reminds me…"

"Why hello, Charly. Nice to talk to you too. Yes I can make it to your wedding on the 20th. I'll be in New York tomorrow for start of semester."

"Great. So, you're first fitting is the 12th at Bennie's Dresses…"

"Charly. Tomorrow is the 12th."

"Oh, I know..but your classes don't start till the 15th anyways. You should be fine."

"Charly. I'm driving up there tomorrow. I don't know when I'll be there exactly…"

"Alex, please? Can't you leave early tomorrow?" she pleaded. I could see her face over the phone giving me that look I knew so well. I sighed and rubbed my eyes.

"Yeah, sure Charly. I'll be there."

"Great!" she squealed. I swear I would never understand how stupid people could act when they were in love, or getting married. She gave me the address to the dress shop and I hung up.

Surveying my room, piled with boxes, I sighed, running my hand through my already very messy hair. I needed something..an escape…anything.

I fell gasping, on my front steps. The run had been exactly what I needed. Running always did that to me. It cleared my head allowing me to focus on the rhythmic sounds of my footsteps. I still hadn't figured out anything. My mind was still a tangled web of confusion. But, at least I had gotten to run out my frustration.

"Alex?" my mother opened the screen door and peered out at me. "Please tell me you've finished packing." She pleaded. I sighed heavily and nodded. It wasn't entirely a lie. I was mostly packed. All that was left was my bedding and a few books. Not much at all comparatively. My mother walked out on the porch and bent to sit next to me on our front steps.

"What's wrong Alex?" she asked her voice all of a sudden motherly and soft. I shrugged, not entirely sure myself. "Is this about Jaime and Kye? Because, you know you'll get there someday. I'm sure you'll find yourself a man as soon as you step foot on campus…" she stopped at the sight of me raising my hand.

"It's not that at all. I don't need a man. I..I just don't know." I sighed, reluctantly admitting defeat. She hugged me then and kissed the top of my head. "Well, if you ever need someone to talk to, you can always count on your old mother." She got up, leaving me alone on the porch, wrapped in my own thoughts.

Eventually, I stood, dusting the back of my shorts off, and went back into the house. Katie was in the living room with little Rae, playing with some large blocks. Rae was cooing and grabbing at Katie's face while Katie laughed. It was strange seeing my youngest sister playing with her own child. Liza sat on the couch, curled around a pillow, watching, a small grin on her still innocent face. I would miss this when I went away to college.

I shuffled into the kitchen finding my mother peeling potatoes and chatting with Jaime about the wedding that was still a long time coming. My father, surprisingly, was sitting at the breakfast nook reading his daily paper. And there on the counter, was a letter from Maria.

My family…so sure of their lives. They all knew what they wanted and knew what they had. While I was still so unsure. My future was a dim light at the end of a very long tunnel. I smiled to myself, letting myself absorb the aura of my family for the last time before I went away to college. I would miss them and this suburban hell. I finally trekked up to my room and fell onto my bed, letting sleep claim me.

"That's not too tight is it?" the seamstress asked me for the uptenth time that hour. I was at Bennie's Dresses with a beaming Charly looking on as I was fitted into my dress. I had left early that morning. Jaime left shortly after I did. My mother looked heartbroken but I assured her I would come home often. My father, always a man to avoid emotional situations, had texted me goodbye after I had been on the road for a while.

Charly had greeted me at my dorm, helping me unload all my junk before carting me off to the dress shop. She hadn't changed at all. She was still the same girl I had run into back on my old street. Still as silly and giddy as she had always been. I hadn't yet seen Collins though I had been assured that he was thoroughly excited to see me.

"There." The seamstress stood up and smiled. "You look gorgeous, Alex." Charly grinned at me. I turned as indicated to look in the full length mirror and gasped. The seamstress had done a great job. She had made my runner's body look like it had a shape and had managed to make me look like I had boobs too. My hair was pulled back in a pony tail, but I could imagine the style that I was promised. I looked like an actual woman instead of a tall skinny boy.

After I had changed out of my dress, Charly drove me back to my dorm and I unpacked. The semester started in three days and then it would be Charly's wedding. I couldn't help but be excited. Charly and Collins were made for each other it seemed. Both were a little over the top in their own ways, but in some strange way, I loved them both.

The semester started smoothly. I found all of my classes and they all seemed like they were going to be great. The week fly by and before I knew it, it was the Friday before Charly's wedding and I was driving to the elaborate mansion that I had gone to for their engagement party.

Charly met me in the drive way, giddy with excitement and pulled me into a big hug as soon as I got out of the car. "I'm so happy you're here!" she squealed.

"Hi Charly!" I squealed back and hugged her tightly. I had missed my best friend. She finally released me and helped me get my luggage out of my trunk.

"So, is there anything I can help with?" I asked. She shook her head. "Nope. Auntie Catherine hired us a catering service and they do everything for the reception. The church is being decorated by her staff. She's so nice to be doing all of this for us." She responded. I was impressed. Auntie Catherine didn't seem like the kind of person who would do all that for her nephew and his bride to be. But who knew, she could just be very fond of her brother.

I smiled and followed her to the guest bedroom. It was the same bedroom that I had read Darce's letter and I began to feel nostalgic as I put my suitcase on the bed. Charly left me to unpack and told me to be downstairs for the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner in an hour.

I walked around the room; going to stand by the window where I looked out on that night that Darce had told me he loved me. I had despised him at that moment. His letter had not yet come and there was nothing I wanted more than to have his head on a stick and displayed so the world would know what a villain he actually was. I walked over to the bed, tracing my hand over the comforter and remembering falling heavily upon the bed as I read Darce's letter. I had felt so confused. He had explained himself very clearly. It seemed I had been confused since I left this bedroom. So much had changed. So much had happened. I sunk to the floor at the edge of the bed, staring at the clock on my cell phone till it was time to change into my rehearsal dinner dress and head downstairs.

Charly and Collins were at the bottom of the stairs waiting for me. They looked cute holding hands, their cheeks flushed in excitement.

"Ready?" Collins asked me when he saw me approach. I nodded and we got into the car that was waiting to take us to the church.

We arrived at the church and I watched in silent satisfaction as Collins and Charly stumbled through their mock wedding. Tomorrow would be the greatest day of their lives and I was so happy that I was getting to witness it. The rehearsal ended fairly quickly and the dinner that followed was delicious. Collin's family was sparing no expense for this wedding. I was beginning to think that Collin's family thought he would never get married. All of them were very excited to meet Charly and the congratulations (though the actual ceremony hadn't taken place yet) flowed freely. Charly beamed and glowed with love as she held Collin's hand shyly at the head table.

The dinner having ended, Charly, Collins, and I piled back into the car and rode back to the mansion. When we got there, they bid me good night and left me to my thoughts. The wedding was tomorrow and I couldn't have been more ecstatic. But, I still couldn't help to feel a little sad. Everyone was growing up and moving ahead with their life. I was still stuck in the past, haunted by feelings I wasn't sure I had. I sighed and ran my hand through my hair, then flopped on the bed still clothed.

I awoke to the sound of someone pounding on my door. I rolled over and looked at the clock on my cell phone. It was 3 a.m. I groaned and got out of bed to open the door. It was Charly.

"Alex..I..I don't know if I want to marry Collins tomorrow." She whispered, biting her lip. I sighed, pulling her into my room and shutting the door. "Why not?" I asked her.

"I…well I don't know if I'm ready for this. I mean…it's such a huge step and I don't know if I'm ready to be Mrs. Collins." She flopped down on the bed, burying her head under the pillow. I stroked her back trying to think of comforting words. She just had cold feet and I needed to show her that.

"Well Charly, tell me this. Why did you agree to marry Collins?"

"I..I don't know." She moaned in frustration.

"Do you love him?" I asked, still stroking her back.

She sat up abruptly, looking me straight in the eye. "More than anything." She whispered.

"Then what's the problem? If two people love each other, they deserve to be with each other for the rest of their lives. That's what you and Collins are doing. You are living your life with each other. Isn't that what you want?"

She nodded. "I…I just don't want this to be a mistake." She hung her head.

"Charly, how can love be a mistake? It's a wonderful thing and Collins loves you. I can see that when he looks at you. You two…you guys will make it. I promise." I winked at her.

"What if we don't though?"

"Are you willing to throw this all away on the off chance that you won't make it? Charly…don't do something that you'll regret. I know if you run away from this, you'll spend every minute of your life thinking 'what if?' Do you really want that?"

She smiled weakly at me. "Never." She whispered and hugged me tightly.

"Good. Then I suggest you get to bed. You're getting married tomorrow." I pushed her away from me gently and saw she was smiling.

"Thank you, Alex. I..I don't want to lose him, ever. And I don't want to lose you either." She hugged me again and left closing my door slightly. I nodded, having known this minute would come and silently congratulating myself on an easy victory. I fell asleep and dreamed.

My dream was the exact same as before. I was still standing at the bridge, looking down at my reflection. His face appeared again next to mine, and I felt his hand on my elbow; his breath on my ear as he whispered my name. I closed my eyes, reveling in being so close to him. I turned towards him and opening my eyes smiled up at him.

"I love you, Alexandria Benne." And then Darce kissed me.

I woke up, startled by my dream. Darce…he was the one…my dream. What was my subconscious trying to tell me? I sat up, pressing the palms of my hands against my eyes. I didn't have time to sort this out. I had a wedding to be at.

I got up, showered, and headed down stairs for a quick breakfast. Then, I went back upstairs, got my dress and went to Charly's room. She opened the door at my knock immediately. She looked radiant and all that had been done was her hair being started.

"Alex! Can you believe that I'm getting married today!" She practically yelled at me. Her mom smiled at me from behind Charly and Charly's sister beamed at me from the couch. They were all so very happy for her. So, I squeled back and shook my head. "No, I can't. But Collins is a lucky man."

I stepped into the room, laying my dress on her bed. "Let's get started. The wedding's in three hours." I said.

An hour later, I sat letting a woman I didn't know play with my hair. She was putting so many bobby pins in my hair, that I knew the task of getting them out was going to be an adventure. Charly's hair was already done. Her make-up was done, and she sat for a little bit, watching me go through the beautification process. I suppose she was resting a bit before putting her dress on. She smiled at me.

"You're beautiful, Charly." I told her looking at her in the mirror. She shook her head. "Not as beautiful as you. I don't know how I'll be able to compare standing next to you."

"Silly girl. No one is going to be paying me the slightest bit of attention while you're up there. You are the one getting married after all." I winked at her.

"Oh, I don't know if there will be no attention on you." She said with a gleam in her eye.

"Wha…" I began before the make-up lady attacked me. "Close your mouth. You'll smudge my lip liner." She whined at me.

Finally, we were in our dresses and on our way down to the cars. Collins had left earlier, not wanting to see his bride before the ceremony. Charly, her family, and I rode in a limo to the church in silence. We arrived at the church and were shuffled into a small room off to the side of the auditorium. Obviously, Charly was nervous and we took turns calming her down.

The time came when we all had to take our places. I walked down the aisle and turned to watch my radiant best friend walk slowly down the aisle herself. Collins was grinning from ear to ear at the sight of her.

The service flew by and they were married. The wedding party piled into the limo to head back to the mansion where the reception would be held. The dinner was even more glorious than the rehearsal dinner had been. The dance started and I couldn't have been happier to see the beaming couple dancing holding each other closely. I knew they would always be together.

A while into the reception, I was sitting at a table by myself, drinking a glass of champagne, when I felt someone come up beside me. I turned, smiling to greet them and then stopped. It was Auntie Catherine and she had murder in her eyes. "Alexandria Benne. We need to talk." She said, turning and expecting me to follow her. Which I did. You simply did not do what Auntie Catherine wanted.

She walked a ways and stopped suddenly on the edge of the large tent that the reception was in.

"Tell me, Alexandria. You know my dear adopted nephew Noah Darce, do you not?"

I nodded in affirmation. "As I thought." She continued. "Then you know of the ridiculous rumor that you two are engaged?"

I looked at her in confusion. "Ma'am?"

"Don't pretend. Answer me straight girl. Are you or are you not engaged to Noah Darce."

"No."

She looked relieved. "And you will promise to never enter into such an engagement?"

"I won't make promises I can't keep." I stared coldly at her.

"What of this? He is engaged to my daughter. They have been engaged for a long time!"

"Then you shouldn't be worried about me getting engaged to an engaged man."

"Insolent child. Do you really think yourself worthy of Noah Darce? He is twice the human being you will ever be." She seemed to grow in height. "You will never set foot near him again. Is that clear?"

"Crystal clear, ma'am. But I will see Noah Darce again if I so choose. You have insulted me and I won't stand here and be insulted further." I nodded my head and walked away from her. She yelled after me, though I ignored her and the dance music was too loud for her to be heard.

I spent the rest of the reception at my table alone, thinking. I saw Darce's face: his smile, his deep eyes. I saw his sister grinning at me. I saw myself, giving Charly that advice last night. Did I want to spend the rest of my life in 'what if?' I knew now what I had to do. It was just a matter of how.

The reception ended and I stayed in the mansion again that night. I would leave back for college the next day. I sat on my bed, staring out at the moonlight grass until the moonlight began to fade, replaced by the faint light of the rising sun. Then I got up, and walked.

I took the same path that I ran to get away from the story of Darce's cruelness to my sister. I ended up in the same gazebo he had proposed to me in. I sank down onto one of the benches in the gazebo and curled in on myself. My mind was a blur with so many images of what I should do. I now knew what I wanted.

I stared out at the large expanse of grass between me and the mansion. I stared so long, that my eyes began to play tricks on me. I swore that I saw a long dark figure walking in my direction. My hallucinations were starting. I knew I should've slept last night. But, wait! No! The figure kept getting bigger and the face began to take shape. It couldn't be. And then the figure was in the gazebo with me.

"Hello, Alex." Darce smiled down at me. I nodded at him.

We both stared at each other in silence for a minute before we both began to speak at the same time. I apologized and indicated he should go on.

"I…I want to apologize for Auntie Catherine. She had no right to say those things to you." He sat on a bench opposite me.

"Don't be Darce. She helped me realize something." He looked up suddenly, his eyes flashing.

I continued. "I want to thank you. For all you've done. Katie…and though I have no proof, Jaime. My family owes you.." he held his hand up.

"I don't want any thanks. I..I just want an answer from you Alex."

"An answer?"

"Your response to Auntie Catherine allowed me to hope. I haven't had hope in months. I want to know Alexandria. My feelings for you have not changed since the last time we were here." He gestured at the gazebo. "What I want to know, is have yours? Say that they haven't, and I'll disappear, never to darken your doorway again. But…if they have…then you must know…that…I love you, Alex. You…you leave me in agony. Please." He hung his head, as if it weighed a ton.

I walked over to him, raising his head up and looking into his eyes. And then, I kissed him.

A/N: I'm evil…but never fear…there may be more to come…there may not. Thanks to all who have read this story. I appreciate it more than you know.