Chapter 14 Restoring Balance

Aang stood bent over the wash basin as he splashed the lukewarm water over his face and head. With closed eyes he reached for the fluffy towel that hung on the rack directly next to the basin. He threw the towel over his dripping head and then stood up straight as he began to blot his face and head dry. He glanced up at the mirror and gazed critically at his own reflection. He carefully ran his hand over his smooth head to make sure he hadn't missed any spots. He then ran his fingers along his now bare jaw line. He stared blankly at the bony features of his face. It was obvious that the months of depression and self neglect had taken its toll on his once handsome appearance. His face was gaunt and his eyes were slightly sunken with dark circles underneath. His eyes fell upon the light blue arrow that ran along his scalp, the tattoo he had worked so hard to earn and had always taken such pride in. Now to him, this ancient and once sacred symbol of the Air Nomads had become nothing more than a bitter and painful symbol of all that he had lost, all that he had sacrificed. After the death of his only son and the subsequent loss of his wife Aang only saw the mark as a cruel and blatant reminder of the life he had dedicated to being the Avatar, a life in which everything he had ever loved had been ripped violently away from him. Even now gazing at his clean-shaven reflection his heart was filled with many mixed and conflicting emotions. Aang sighed heavily as he stood motionless before the mirror. He knew in his heart that he needed to make a change in his life, to restore balance within his own soul. Too long he had been consumed by his anger and depression. Suddenly Roku's words rang through his mind once again.

…

If you would have acknowledged us you would have understood."

…

Aang sighed once again. He couldn't help but wonder what the ghost of his former self was trying to say.

…

"The spirits refuse to meet with you at this time Aang…you turned your back on them…you abandoned your duties to them and the world."

…

There was truth in Roku's words, Aang knew it and there was really no denying it. He dropped his eyes from the mirror and gazed blankly at the wash basin. The sight of the still and cool water caused his mind to drift to inevitable thoughts of Katara. He wished so badly that she were here with him now. She was always able to reach him even in his darkest moments. She always saw every side to a situation. With her calm and unbiased words she was always able to open his mind to alternate possibilities and help him to see truths that he might have missed or was too close to see. Until this moment he never realized just how much he relied on her for that. He couldn't help but wonder what she would have done or said in this moment. He closed his eyes tightly and tried to imagine her wrapping her arms around his waist from behind in love and reassurance. She would lay her head gently on his back and whisper, "I love you…I have faith in you…I know you will figure this out." He could feel tears welling up in his eyes as he thought about her. He could not help but to feel a sudden overwhelming need to see her, to hear her voice, to feel the warmth of her arms around him.

Aang quickly brought the heels of his hands to his eyes in a vain attempt to stop his tears from falling. He tried to focus his thoughts on something other than Katara. He turned his mind back to the dream he had the night before. There was meaning to it and he knew there was only one way to find out what that meaning was. He sighed heavily once more, straightened his stance and gazed once again at his reflection in the mirror. He had to open his mind up to the spirits, to accept his title of Avatar once again and put his anger toward the spirits to rest. He honestly didn't know if he was ready to make this change in his life. He didn't know if he would be able to embrace his title let alone forgive the spirits after everything he and his family had been through but he knew he had to try.

"Daddy…come find me."

He heard the words from his dream so suddenly that he turned immediately expecting the boy to be standing behind him. The ghostly voice was almost tangible and caused his heart to jump in expectation.

"Tenzin," Aang whispered in a questioning tone. He stepped outside the bathroom and glanced curiously around his bedroom. He found the room to be empty besides Kya sleeping peacefully in her cradle. He sighed in slight disappointment and dropped his eyes to the floor.

"I'm listening Tenzin," Aang whispered, "I promise…I won't let you down."

In Omashu

Sun-Li stood silently before a tray of small cups. She carefully filled each cup with the medicine that she would be administering to the boys shortly. After she had finished she picked up the tray and carefully carried it to a rolling cart.

"Okay boys," she sighed, "medicine time." She pushed the cart through the rows of beds and handed each boy one of the cups. She stood before them to be sure that they drank every drop and then moved on to the next row. The room was filled with the sounds of sniffling sneezing and coughing. When she reached the two six-year olds Lee and Jet they both threw their blankets over their heads in a vain attempt to avoid the bitter medicine.

"Come on you two, Sun-Li chuckled, "it's not that bad…you need to just hold your nose and swallow it really quick, you won't taste a thing I promise. Besides it will help you get better and the sooner you get better the sooner you can get out of these beds and play." Simultaneously the two boys dropped the covers from their faces and looked up at Sun-Li with pouts on their faces. Sun-Li could not help but to chuckle.

"Here," she said as she handed them each their cups, "on the count of three." The boys smiled and held the cups to their lips.

"Ready," Sun-Li said, "one...two…three, go!" Both boys chugged the medicine as fast as they could. They winced at the bitter taste and as soon as they were finished they both stuck their tongues out. Sun-Li covered her mouth as she tried desperately to stifle her laughter.

"Good job boys," she smiled, "you'll be better before you know it." With a smile she turned her attention to Kyu who was still sleeping. She sat softly upon the foot of his bed and gently tapped on his chest to wake him.

"Hey little one," she said softly, "its time for your medicine." The little boy moaned in his sleep but his eyes remained closed.

"Kyu," Sun-Li repeated as she reached her hand to his forehead in an attempt to wake the child. Just as she touched his head his eyes fluttered opened. He gazed at her blankly with tired glassy eyes and sniffled slightly. Sun-Li furrowed her brow in concern. Kyu's forehead was wet with perspiration and felt hot to the touch.

"Oh dear," she muttered almost to herself, "you are burning up." She quickly headed to one of the wash basins in the opposite corner of the room and grabbed a cold compress. She ran back to Kyu and gently placed the cold wet rag upon his forehead. Kyu sniffled once again as he weakly turned his head away from Sun-Li and then closed his eyes in utter exhaustion.

"Kyu," Sun-Li called the boy in gentle tone, "I know you don't feel well but you need to drink your medicine…okay sweetie…come now." She gently wrapped her arms around Kyu's shoulders and proceeded to prop him up. Kyu was like dead weight upon her arm. It was as if he had no strength left in his body whatsoever. Sun-Li pressed the small cup to his tiny mouth and gave him little sips at a time. When he had finished drinking Kyu began to cough. Sun-Li quickly placed the cup down upon the small table that was next to the bed and then began to pat him firmly on the back.

"It's alright Kyu," Sun-Li comforted, "just relax…we are going to have the nurse come take a look at you…we will get you well again I promise. Gently she lay him back down upon his mattress. Kyu sniffled once more. Sun-Li shook her head in sympathy.

"You will be alright," she said once more. She then turned her back toward the child and began to walk in the direction of the infirmary door.

Uh…Uh…Uhhhhh….Chooo! Suddenly Sun-Li was blasted from behind by a strong gust of air and simultaneously heard the bed as it scratched across the floor and then hit the wall behind it with a large thud. She turned quickly around in time to see Kyu wiping his nose with his sleeve, the two boys next to him staring wide eyed in his direction and the bed in which Kyu lay now a good three feet further away from the other two then it had been only moments before. Sun-Li just stared at Kyu in shock and confusion.

"What just happened," she questioned the two boys beside Kyu. Jet and Lee turned to her with dumbfounded expressions upon their faces.

"What happened," Sun-Li repeated the question. Jet shrugged but said nothing.

"Kyu sneezed," Lee replied in a small voice, "he sneezed a big humongous sneeze and made his bed fly backward!"

Aang pushed the door to Katara's room opened slowly and quietly crept inside. He made his way over to her bed and sat down in the chair beside her. He leaned forward resting his elbows upon her mattress. He then gently lifted her pale, fragile hand and carefully intertwined his fingers with hers. He then brought his opposite hand to her forehead and gently brushed the hair from her angelic face. He gazed at her in silence. As many times as he had seen her in her current state, the reality of it never got any easier to grasp. His mind knew that she had a long recovery ahead of her. However, his mind's logic couldn't stop his heart from hoping that he would come in to find her awake and smiling up at him from her recovery bed. Each time he came to see her, the anticipation of seeing those familiar blue eyes gazing back at him was nearly overwhelming. Each time he left her in her unconscious state, his heart broke a little more.

Today was no different than any other that had passed over that last two months since Kya's birth. He came to be with her because he missed her, and she lay silent and still, a mere shell of the woman he loved more than life itself. Words could not describe how much he needed her now, how much he longed to hear her soothing voice. He missed her advice and her wit. He missed her sassy opinionated comments and her loving and tender touch. He missed her positive attitude and sunny disposition. It had been so long since he had seen her that way, the way she used to be; so very long. He sat back in the chair slowly as he dropped his eyes to the floor. He let out a long and heart-broken sigh. He casually leaned to the side resting his jaw upon his balled up fist. He was trying his best to keep his tears at bay though he knew deep down the attempt was pointless. Subtly he turned his eyes back in her direction and gazed at her longingly.

"I miss you," he whispered softly, "I miss everything about you, your smile, your laugh…your love." He leaned forward once again and grasped her hand tightly with both of his. He could feel the tears welling up in his eyes as he gently pressed her pale limp hand to his face.

"I miss us," he whispered as he turned to face her once again, "I miss the life we had…I don't know if I can do this without you." He quickly wiped his tears before they were able to spill from his eyes. He sat back in his chair quickly and shook his head.

"I never thought we would end up like this," he choked out the words, "I never thought this could happen to us." He turned his eyes upward and stared blankly up at the icy ceiling. He closed his eyes and let out a long sigh. In the moment he closed his eyes Tenzin's emotionless face flashed before him. He opened his eyes instantly and looked back down at his comatose wife.

"Tenzin is trying to reach me I think," he said softly, "I'm not sure what he is trying to tell me but I'm going to figure it out." He leaned forward and kissed her smooth soft cheek.

"I don't know if the spirits will be willing to talk to me, let alone welcome me into the spirit world again, but Tenzin needs me…I can feel it." He shook his head as he envisioned the images from his passed dream. He looked back at his wife.

"I promise you I will figure this out," he said softly, "I won't let you or him down again."