Booth spent the rest of the afternoon and into the evening with Hannah in the cafeteria, and in the waiting room when Hannah had finally convinced him that he needed to slow down and rest. She walked with him down toward the ICU waiting room, noting that he took a long glance down the hallway before turning toward the waiting room. She walked inside with him and settled him down on one of the recliners. She turned on a television, and silently they watched until he tipped his head back and closed his eyes, and fell into what Hannah thought was a peaceful sleep. She stayed with him for a long time, watching him twitch a little in his sleep, and at one point his eyes opened and he looked to her.
"You don't have to stay here." He whispered. "Go home and get some sleep in a real bed."
"I can stay here with you, Seeley. It's okay."
"No." He shook his head. "At least one of us should get a decent night's sleep. I'm not going to, anywhere I sleep."
"Are you sure?" She asked, standing up, she took his hand.
"Yeah." He nodded. "She'll probably feel better in the morning. I'll call you tomorrow." He said, squeezing her hand. "Thank you for staying."
"I love you." She whispered, leaning down to kiss his lips tenderly, he gave her a sad smile and watched her take a step back. "I am sorry that I wasn't more understanding yesterday."
"I know, Hannah." He nodded. "You didn't know the situation, and I didn't want to get everyone worked up. Try to get some sleep. I love you." He said, watching her smile as she let his hand slip from hers.
"You better try to get some sleep too." She replied, watching him for another second. He didn't even hold eye contact with her for a moment before he tipped his head back and stared at the television that was hanging in the corner of the room. He closed his eyes, and she slipped quietly from the room.
He felt like he had only been resting for a moment or two before he felt a gentle tapping on his shoulder, and a voice calling his name. For a moment, he felt defensive, as if he should strike out at the person, in a near reflex, but recognized it as Max's voice.
"Max?" He asked, his mind blurry around where he was, he immediately tried to sit up. "Bones, is Bones okay?" He asked, feeling the panic rise through his chest and into his throat immediately, he felt Max's hand on his shoulder.
"She's fine." He said, looking into Booth's eyes. The younger man stopped struggling to sit up and leaned back.
"Jesus, Max. You scared the hell out of me."
"Sorry I didn't wake you up with a kiss. How did you want me to wake you up?" Max said sarcastically.
Booth chose to ignore the sarcastic barb and tried to calm his racing heart. "Is she alright?"
"I think you should go home." Max said, choosing to ignore Booth's concern for the moment, he watched a flash of annoyance.
"I'm not going anywhere." He said with an angry growl. "I want to see Bones." He said, starting to sit up, Max put his hand out to him and stopped him.
"She doesn't want to see you, Booth." Max said, the tone of regret was obvious in his deep voice. He shook his head. "She's not in her room right now anywhere."
"Where is she? Is she okay?"
"She's having some tests run. That's why I think you should go home. They're doing lung x-rays, and x-rays on her ankle. Her lungs have to be suctioned every hour, she has breathing treatments, and she's not getting much sleep. The doctor has ordered her not to talk, he's worried about her vocal cords being damaged because of the constant coughing." Max said as he sat down beside Booth.
"You just think I'll upset her." Booth said resentfully.
"I think it would be better if you went home." Max replied. "You're not going to be of any use to anyone if you stay in these chairs. I'll call you if there are any changes."
Booth stared into Max's eyes for a long second, swallowing hard he could feel a physical pain in his chest. "She thinks I abandoned her." Booth whispered, watching Max cringe just a little at the words Booth had chosen, the younger man shoved his face into his hands and let out an expletive, loudly enough to make Max cringe again. "She does! Doesn't she?" Booth asked, pulling his hands from his face. "Goddamn it!" Booth shouted, standing up, he felt a rush of dizziness, but failed to give in as he paced. "I didn't abandon her!" He said, turning to Max. "I moved on! She told me to move on! Why is she so damn stubborn?" He asked between clenched teeth.
"Booth, you should just go home and sit it out for a while, okay? She'll come to her senses, she always does."
"Yeah? I should go home? Abandon her again?" He asked, facing Max. "If I leave, she's going to think I don't care. She's going to think that I don't…" He stopped himself, and set his jaw, his eyes searching Max's as the older man finished the sentence in his own mind.
"I'll tell her that I told you to go."
"Right…" Booth spat with sarcasm that dripped like an open wound. "You, the king of abandonment… you're going to convince the queen of logic that I left, but I didn't abandon her? It's not going to work, Max. I need to see her."
"Booth, she doesn't want to see you right now."
"I'm her goddamned medical proxy. I demand to see her!"
"Not as of this morning, you're not." Max said, turning his head to the pacing Booth, he watched the younger man face the wall without turning around. "Booth?" Max said as he started to stand up. "Booth, she just needs some time."
"She removed me as her health care proxy?" Booth asked, staring at the wall.
"She felt that it was inappropriate." Max said, trying his best to tread lightly, he could feel the anxiety in the room. "She said that… you were in a committed relationship, and that because I am here, and I understand her wishes, that her brother and I should be her medical proxy." Max paused. "We're her family, Booth."
Booth turned slowly, his jaw clicked as his teeth clenched for a moment. What he thought he felt in his chest could have been rage, or it could have been passion, but there wasn't anyone that could tell him the difference. "I need her…" He paused. "… to be alright." He sucked in a deep breath through his nose, and held it for a moment.
"Don't let her make you feel guilty for moving on, Booth. That's not her intention."
"She's punishing me because I wasn't there."
"And it looks like you're doing a pretty damn good job punishing yourself." Max said, watching the rage start to drain from his eyes. "You know her better than anyone else, Booth. She knows this. She's a very, very smart woman, and I think she is using this as her opportunity to move on." Max said. "You two spend so much time together, protecting one another, and chasing after death and evil. You learned to depend on one another. Maybe this is what you need, to disconnect."
"I don't want to disconnect, Max. Not when she's in pain."
"Booth, you can't prevent her pain. She is going to feel it whether you are holding her hand or if you're a thousand miles away. You can't prevent the damage that has already been done. Only time can heal that. She has her family, Booth. She's not alone." Max's comment cut him deeply, that thought that he was no longer her family. He felt unneeded and thrown away, discarded and broken, and Max could see it. "Booth, go home… get some decent sleep, kiss your girlfriend, call your son. You have a family too. Go home and take care of them."
"Bones is my family, Max." Booth whispered.
"Booth, just give her some time." Max said, recognizing a desperate man in need of validation. "I'll talk to her. I'll hold her hand, I'll make sure she's well taken care of… and I'm sure that it won't take long for her to realize that I'm not as good at it as you." Max said. "Don't go home angry, Booth. She loves you."
"She has one hell of a way of showing it." Booth said as he swatted at his coat on the chair. "Tell her that I'm coming back tonight. I'm going to sleep on this damn chair until she sees me, or I go paralyzed… whichever comes first, got that?" Booth asked angrily.
"I'll tell her." Max replied, as he watched Booth turn angrily, and stomp his way through the waiting room, and out the door.
