Hey y'all! SKL decided that what we had written for the Buff Frog half of the chapter was still worth something, and edited together into an intermission. Looking on it now, I agree, and I'm glad he did. Thanks, SKL!
New chapter next week, maybe. More notes at the bottom, like always. Enjoy!
The good thing about the internet being gone, Jackie had decided long ago, was that there was at least a chance for everyone to look up from their phones every once in awhile. Though she had to admit - being as tied as she had been to her own cellular device, the transition had been a bit of a shock.
But now, months later, it was like her head was out of a fog. She never felt obligated to go online and do whatever. Her gaming experience, now lacking the toxicity of other people, had improved significantly. And she could still call and text when she wanted! But the best part was finding a new way to spend the time. Some of her classmates had started playing sports. Writing. Building models. The skate park had exploded in popularity. And her? Well, she'd joined a book club.
So it was that, heading to the Echo Creek Public Library on her skateboard, a book under her arm and an ocean-green sweater and jeans for the cold, she found herself looking forward to a November afternoon without internet, far more than she ever thought she would.
On the front steps of the building, Buff Frog sat drooping and alone. This was unusual - when he did show up, he was usually the most boisterous of the group, eager to share his take on whatever Y.A. novel they'd been reading that week. But there he was, frowning, near tears as the various other patrons of the library walked past him and tried their best not to acknowledge his existence. Even for Echo Creek, a crying frog-man was… weird.
Jackie, however, immediately dismounted and plopped down next to him. "Sup, dude?"
Buff Frog looked at her. "Ah, Jackie." He said, doing his best effort to be stoic. As she was practically the only person in the multiverse who called him by his real name, hers was the only name he had also bothered to learn - aside from his master, of course. "It is nothing. Go inside."
Jackie set her board down at her feet and played with it for a moment, prepared to wait until he was ready to open up. As it turned out, that only took about 5 seconds.
"It is buff babies!" Yvgeny wailed suddenly, bursting into tears. "I have work, and errands and life! Cannot afford sitter for book club too!"
Jackie blinked as he put his head into his hands and sobbed. This was… a first. She patted his shoulder awkwardly. Sure, she was friends with the guy, but how was she supposed to comfort a giant anthropomorphic bullfrog? A bucket of vanilla ice cream with extra flies?
Hesitantly, she tried anyways. "Oh, that's… too bad." She said awkwardly. "But I'm sure you'll… find a way?"
Buff Frog sniffed and looked at her. "You think so?" He asked.
"Sure!" Jackie replied, trying her best to act confident. "I mean, you're… resourceful? I don't think you'll have any problem figuring something out."
Buff Frog seemed to cheer a bit at this, but then his lower lip trembled again.
"You… you want to see babies?" He asked hopefully.
"Um… sure!" Jackie said, not really sure what to expect. Truthfully, she hadn't even realized that Yvgeny had kids. Froglings. Tadpoles? Whatever.
Buff Frog fumbled with his phone for a moment (turns out a lot of monsters had them) and opened a page. "Okay. Here is babies," He sniffed. "This is us, so happy together, last summer…"
Almost an hour later, Buff Frog had perked right up, as he continued to scroll through pictures. "Oh, and here is Katrina last week!" He said happily. "And look at her, in her little winter coat!" He cooed as he looked at the picture.
Jackie, for her part, had begun staring off into the distance, contemplating the merits of giving herself a lobotomy with her skateboard. She started zoning out even further, drowning out Buff Frog's voice in the process. How did lobotomies even work? How long would a doctor have to train to be qualified to perform one? What would-
"What will I do?" He asked, breaking her out of her little trance. "I love book club! Is only place I have good friends!"
"I'm sure you can find someone," She comforted, trying to act like she was listening the whole time. "Actually, it shouldn't be too hard to find someone here on Earth who would watch your cute little… tadpoles?"
"Could… could you watch them?" He looked at her, shooting her some big, puppy-dog eyes. She immediately paled, and began sputtering at the unexpected question. There were only three things in her life that she couldn't try to be responsible for. Kids. Pets. And boys with attitude.
She was terrible with children! Especially the smaller variety. It wasn't that she didn't like them, but she did not like the idea of being held accountable for the well being of a small child. Particularly when that "child" wasn't even human. Did frog-babies even wear diapers?
"I d-uh…" She stuttered, trying to think of an excuse as all this flashed through her mind. "W-well I…"
"I have nothing to pay with, so I understand if you don't want to." He said, seemingly brushing off the idea.
"No it's not that, it's just… I don't know, I'm just not good with kids."
"That is okay, babies can entertain selves." He reassured.
"No, I mean I don't know if I can take care of them." She explained. "I'm, uh…"
"No no, you do not need to explain," Buff Frog cut her off before she could put her thoughts into words. A relief to Jackie, as her exact thoughts at that moment had been: 'what would she do if she accidentally locked herself out of the house and then burned it down?'
He sighed in disappointment. "I guess I must just resign from club. Other priorities."
Jackie frowned. "Don't they have like, a mom? You gotta have someone else to help."
"No. Ludo gave me babies." Buff Frog replied simply. Jackie stared at him and was only just beginning to understand the logistics of that statement before he added on: "As gift. For helping retake castle."
"Oh." Jackie said, blushing slightly. That was still weird, but not… she let that train of thought trail off into the distance. "Well, that makes more sense. Well, do you have a girlfriend or something?"
Buff Frog looked at her quizzically. "On Mewni, frog-men do not have "girlfriend." We must prove ourselves through trials to be worthy mate for female. There is jumping challenge, strength challenge, eating challenge, croaking challenge -"
Jackie smirked. "Yeah, we've got… something like that here. But hey man, I can help you find someone! I'm sure there's loads of girls that'd be down to watch cute little frog-baby things."
"You think so?" Buff Frog looked up at her as she stood up.
"Know so." She offered him a hand. "Let me take you around town, and we'll see what we can find."
Stepping up, he looked at her, dead serious. "Jackie. Thank you. This club is only place where I have such good friends. I will repay you."
Then, without pause, he bounded away excitedly. "Let's go find a baby-watcher!"
Jackie took a moment to process this statement before smiling. Even frog-men needed friends.
Arriving at the park, Jackie led Buff Frog to a bench where a brown haired woman was sitting, and throwing a ball for her three dogs.
"Alright," Jackie started in a hushed voice. "This lady looks like she would make a good babysitter for your kids. She has a few dogs, so she's at least got-"
"Hello, will you watch my babies?" He asked the woman from behind, causing her to turn and see a seven foot tall frog man with a wide smile, complete with with sharp, pointed teeth. She stared for a good few seconds before letting out a bloodcurdling shriek.
"AIIEEEE!" She backed up a few steps, before looking back at her dogs, and suddenly had a brilliant idea.
"Baxter! Dashwell! Simon!" She shouted, pulling leashes from her pocket. She flipped the lid of a trashcan down onto the ground, leashed the dogs, and screamed, "mush! Save mommy!"
In moments, the dogs were on the move, pulling her away at a breakneck pace.
In their trail of dust, Buff Frog looked after her hopefully. "Okay!" He shouted. "I'll see you soon!"
Sitting down on the bench, he looked at Jackie, who was staring at him with an open mouth and arched eyebrows. "I think that went well." He said confidently.
"Uhhh…" Jackie shook her head, coming back to her senses. "I mean, I think you laid it on a little bit thick there, bud."
"Oh. You do not think she was running to go get ready to watch babies?"
"No." Jackie said. "Actually, I think she was running in, like, terror. Because… nevermind. Listen, let me tell you something about Earth girls."
Buff Frog shook his head. "No need. Is simple. On Mewni, frog-men make proposition to females. Females accept or decline, and frog-men move on."
"Mm." Jackie considered this. "Well, Earth girls aren't like frog-girls. You've gotta… talk to them. Get to know them. But you don't want to get too personal immediately either, y'know?"
"Yes!" Buff Frog looked at her. "Actually, no. Not at all."
Jackie grimaced. This was going to be a long afternoon.
As they walked towards the diner, several hours later, Jackie was continuing to explain herself. Or, trying to. As she tried (and failed) to explain the intricacies of human courtship,but Buff Frog's confusion was only growing more paramount.
"Wait, so…" he stopped her explanation to clarify. "Human girls like to be known, but I should not try to be 'personal.'"
"Yep!" Jackie said, absently popping an ollie down some stairs as she rode her board next to him.
"Ah. ...I am confused."
"Think of it like -" before Jackie could respond further, their conversation was cut short by a small fireball shooting between them, causing the two to jump away from each other. They looked back just in time to see an angry Marco jump in front of her.
"Jackie, get back!" He barked, squaring off with the frog-man, who was preparing to fight the karate-boy for the third time. "Are you alright? Did he hurt you?"
"What the-? Marco, I'm fine, we were-"
"HYYYEAH!" He cried, leaping forward into a side kick that narrowly missed Buff Frog's head. As soon he landed on the ground, he immediately ducked down to dodge a large fist, and went to sweep his opponent's legs.
"Guys stop it, what the heck?!" Jackie yelled, and tried to rush in and break them up, only to be pulled back by Janna.
"It's alright Jackie, we got this!" Her friend said before rushing forward herself, reading out loud from her phone.
"Lignum solidum robur!" Janna's voice echoed, before she sent a yellow beam of light from her hand.
Seeing the incoming beam, Marco jumped away before it struck Buff Frog's back. The moment it hit, it exploded into a mess of sticky sap which covered the monster from his calves, all the way up to his shoulders. To make matters worse, the sap immediately started to harden, halting his movements even further. Lacking any way to balance himself with little more than his ankles exposed, he toppled over onto the ground, incapacitated.
Marco went in for a kick from above, intent on knocking him out before he could break free, but was forced to veer off course as Jackie slid in between them. He crashed to the ground instead, and Jackie shouted: "Cool it, guys!"
"Ow…" Marco moaned.
The sap covering Buff Frog, now completely hardened, easily cracked and shattered as he flexed himself free.
Janna glared at him. He glared back, teeth bared. "Jackie," Janna said, "explain."
"He's in my book club!" Jackie hurriedly said. "Besides, he's just a frog-guy! You can't just, like, attack people on the street!"
"He tried to steal my book!" Janna replied.
"Twice!" Marco said from the ground, still nursing his arm.
"Twice!" Janna corrected herself.
"Well he's not trying to do it now!"
"Mm." Janna kept glaring at the monster. "Alright. This time." She pulled Marco to his feet, who was similarly giving Buff Frog a death glare.
"Watching you…" he hissed.
"Shoo!" Jackie pushed them away. "Go… do something else."
They watched each other as Janna and Marco rounded a corner, disappearing from view. Only then did Buff Frog relax.
Jackie shook her head. "Sorry about that. Don't know what got into 'em. They're usually pretty chill."
"No need," Buff Frog kept watching the corner where they left. "Is true. I tried to steal book."
"Really?" Jackie raised an eyebrow.
"Yes. Three times."
"Mm."
"But, this raises larger concern. I believe… I do not "fit in" on Earth. I will not find suitable babysitter here."
"Oh, c'mon man," Jackie said halfheartedly. Though she knew that, realistically, her companion was right.
"No, it is true." He sighed. "If only book club did not take place in top-secret facility like library."
"Wait, what?" Jackie asked, not having any idea what he was on about.
"Yes, then I could bring babies with to book club." He lamented, causing the gears to start turning in Jackie's head.
"Wait a sec, I think I…" She thought out loud, before slapping her forehead. "I'm an idiot."
"What is it? Did you find way to get babysitter?" Buff Frog asked hopefully.
"Not exactly." She mumbled, a little embarrassed she hadn't thought of it before.
"Then what makes you idiot?" He asked, wondering if he was missing some sort of earthly sarcasm.
"Kids are allowed in the library."
So there's that. Originally it was going to be a big mess with Jackie meeting Joleen in the coffee shop, and Glossaryck sending the two home together. But we never got that far before we scrapped the concept, so SKL just figured he'd end it here. Like, that's a pretty big plot-hole that it took us LITERAL MONTHS to notice. Go figure.
Still looking for artists for cover art btw. Seriously, we'd be willing to throw a hundred+ bucks at this or whatever the artists' usual rate is. We aren't skimping. Leave suggestions.
Comment response time!
Restless Collector: I agree. Janna has her outbursts of emotion, but her default state is kinda... nonplussed. We're trying to show Joleen as a younger Janna, with a wider range of emotions. Less moody, more energetic. I think it would've been better expressed in a visual medium, but it is what it is. Janna's constantly keeping her cool, mostly annoyed or excited, and Joleen is a lot more likely to blow her top. And thanks for your suggestion! Janna's mom is definitely going to appear prominently in an episode later on, along with Marco's parents. Let's just say that sometimes parents might... misconstrue things.
TooLazy2Write: We're always looking for ideas! No guarantee that it'll get written, but if it's a neat idea we'd love to hear it! We're still filling out the slots for Season 2! Never know, it might also end up as an intermission or something :)
Guest: You know what's funny? I can't speak for SKL, but I've never actually seen Lilo & Stitch - the show or the movie. So I guess we're just following the footsteps of successful media unintentionally. That's very gratifying. Like someone saying "hey, this is like Disney quality!" when I'm not even imitating that format. I mean, I am imitating Disney, but not L&S specifically... anyways, thanks. Compliment appreciated.
I like the idea of Russo being the maiden name. Although we don't actually know if Janna has a dad who's around in-show, do we? Not yet, anyways. For now I'm going to leave it unaddressed. Janna Russo is my version of Janna. A testament to the fact that we gave her good development before the show did. Point of pride.
Guest Sorta: Post results.
WootWoo: Me and SKL are toying with an idea like this. Guest posted a great suggestion for a sort of storybook-gone-awry plotline a few weeks ago that we've got up, and I may integrate it into this idea. Really in love with the mentality aspect in particular. Thanks for the suggestion!
As always, thanks for the faves and reviews! This last chapter especially, I've seen a notification for this story on my phone at least once a day pretty much every day since our last post. It means the world. Keep 'em coming!