I'm sitting on the edge of a bed, lighting up a cigarette.
Inhale. Exhale.
I blow the smoke out of the window. Kairi is sitting next to me, a bit disappointed. She looks like she wants to tell me how she hates those cigarettes, but can't bring herself to say it right now. She looks down.
I follow.
We just sit there in silence. After a moment, I decide to break it.
"You've seen Tidus?"
She nods.
"Earlier this morning. You really did a number on his face"
"He started it"
Inhale. Exhale.
"Not what I heard" she tells me.
I look over at her.
"What? I yell at him and that gives him an excuse to shove me?"
"Sounds like you started it. From what it sounded like, you were both being dumb and stupid. Not like that's anything new"
I ash the cigarette in a tray.
Inhale. Exhale.
To my surprise, she grabs the cigarette from my hand and takes a drag. She doesn't even look at me as she exhales.
She passes it back and turns towards me.
"I get why you're avoiding me. I really do. And I get why you lashed out on Tidus. He can be pretty obnoxious. But punching him? And ignoring all my calls and texts. It's not healthy Roxas. You have to talk to us. You have to let me in"
I chuckle and stand up.
"I can't"
"Why not?" she asks.
I turn to her.
"I need to be on my own for this. I'm toxic Kairi. Relying on the people I care about is dragging you all down to the same level as me. It's just best if I don't have any of you around me for a while"
She stands up and walks towards me.
"That's bullshit and you know it. Roxas, I really wanna be there for you"
She tries putting her hand on my shoulder but I step back.
I shake my head.
"This isn't gonna work out"
She stands there in shock.
"Us" I add.
The cigarette ashes on the ground as a tear escapes her eye.
"Not even as just friends?"
I shake my head.
"I'm sorry. I'm just not good enough for anyone right now. Maybe sometime down the road we can try again, but-"
She lets out a half chuckle as another tear escapes her eye.
I try wiping it away, but she swats my hand.
"Don't!" she exclaims.
She wipes her own tear away.
"Fucking… You're only not good enough because you don't want to be. You don't care about changing. You love being toxic. I'm just trying to be your friend. And I'm telling you now, if you keep this up… you will be alone for the rest of your life"
I sigh.
"Sounds about right"
She shakes her head.
"Whatever Roxas. So much for me being back in your life after all the fucking bullshit we've been thru!" she chokes out that last bit.
She turns around and storms out of the room, slamming the door shut.
I sit my ass back down on the bed.
Inhale. Exhale.
I look down and start crying. Tears dropping on the floor. There I go, making everyone hate me again. Maybe she's right. Maybe I love being toxic and pushing everyone away. But I just don't want to drag everyone into my mess. I wanna be with her but I just can't do it right now. I'm mentally drained.
One of my tears rolls down my cheek and puts out the cherry of the cigarette.
I put the cigarette in the ashtray, get up, and grab an empty bag from my closet. I start shoving my clothes inside it. I grab my charger and whatever else I need, shove it all in the bag, and head out the room. I put my hood over my head as I make my way out of the building.
=0=
I lay on the couch in the second floor of the Accessory Shop. El Scorcho by Weezer plays off my phone as I smoke a cigarette.
Inhale. Exhale.
The smoke flows out towards the open window. I sit up and grab the beer next to me, taking a sip. I look around at all the boxes around me. Guess this spot is perfect for me now. Just a room full of boxes and a couch with a desk.
I hear the door open from downstairs.
"Roxas?" I hear Cid call from downstairs.
"Up here!"
I hear him make his way towards the ladder stairs. His head pops up.
"I got your text… are you drinking fucking beer?"
I look at the beer in my hand and back at him.
He makes a face.
"Bring me one"
He descends back down.
I pause the song, put the cigarette out and grab the six pack, heading down to the first floor.
Cid stands behind the counter as a put the beer down in front of him. He grabs one and pops the cap off.
"Damn, your face is pretty bad. Wanna talk about it?" he asks.
"Not really"
"Well, then cheers to that"
We raises are beers and take huge gulps"
He puts the beer down and wipes his mouth.
"Well, I'm definitely fine with you staying here, but can't be for long" he tells me.
"How come?"
"Shops closing up soon. Have to go back to Destiny Islands and take care of my other one"
"Shit. So now I'm gonna be out of the job?"
"Not for another week or so"
"Another week? Fuck!"
"I know, it's fucked up. But I have no choice here man. My hands are tied"
I sigh.
"I get it. It's just a lot right now"
"You'll be back in those dorms before you know it" he tells me.
"Doubt it" I say before taking another sip.
"You will! Brother, you're just in a shitting slump right now. I'm telling you you'll get over it and make up with Tidus and Wakker"
"Wakka" I correct.
"Whatever, drink your fucking beer"
I chuckle before taking another sip.
"Finally, he fucking smiles!" he exclaims.
Suddenly, my phone goes off and I get a text. I pull it out and check.
Working the bar tonight. Drinks on me! Come thru- Aqua
"Aqua is working the bar tonight" I tell Cid.
"Well shit, let's go!"
"You wanna go out?" I ask.
"Hell yeah! Just cause I'm old doesn't mean I can't party"
"I don't know Cid. I'm not really in the mood"
"You will be when you're out with me. Remember our parties back at the cabin with the gang? You were going thru shit and you forgot about it. So come on! Ain't taking a no for an answer"
"You know last time someone forced me out, I got in a fight"
Cid leans in.
"Roxas, it wouldn't be a fight. I'd knock your scrawny ass out in a heartbeat"
I chuckle.
Guess he's got a point.
=0=
"Cheers!"
Cid, Aqua, and I clank our shot glasses together and chug them back, swallowing it. Aqua makes a sour face.
"Fuck!" Aqua shouts.
"Whiskey ain't no joke!" Cid shouts at her.
Aqua takes our glasses.
"Hold up! Pour me another" Cid tells her.
"Coming right up" she says.
She goes to grab the bottle.
"I'm surprised you're even here Cid" she tells him as she pours another.
"Well I didn't think it was gonna have such a young crowd. But I'm wit it cause you know, there's a lot of beautiful women here tonight" he says.
"Aw, so we're breaking up?" she teases.
"Aqua, you know you're my number one gal" he says before chugging back his shot.
She giggles and turns to me.
"You want a beer?"
I nod.
Cid smacks my back.
"Speak up man! The woman is offering drinks"
I chuckle and turn to her.
"Yes Aqua, a beer would be cool"
She winks before turning around. She's approached by another bartender. She looks familiar.
"Hey Aqua, my shifts about done. When are you off?" she asks her.
"Not until 2"
"Fuck!"
The aussie accent is really familiar… oh fuck, she's the bartender from last night. She turns to me, and we have a brief stare off. I hope she doesn't remember me.
"Oh, I remember you!" she shouts.
Every fucking time, I swear.
She approaches the bar.
"Weren't you going off on that gorgeous brunette last night?" she asks.
"Uh, yeah. That was me. Not my proudest moment"
"She seemed pretty upset after"
"I bet"
"How could you go off on a gorgeous woman? I don't care how mad I am. I'd try to go for it" Cid chimes in.
"Of course you would Cid" Aqua chimes, before handing me by beer.
"Thanks"
I take a sip then turn back to the aussie bartender.
"Look, I was just really having a shit day"
"Yeah, with your friend being in a coma and all"
I shoot her a deer in headlights look.
"You were listening?" I ask.
"I'm a bartender love, we do nothing but listening to peoples shit and get them drunk"
I chuckle before taking another sip.
"Random question: What are you doing after this?" she asks me.
Is she about to ask me out?
"Um, nothing really"
"Would you like to go out to a show with me?"
"A show?"
"Yeah, nothing crazy. It's just an open mic at this little café"
I can feel Cid shooting me a look. A look that says 'Do it or I'll kill you'.
I sigh.
"Look, I would like to, but I'm just not really in the social mood" I explain.
She looks around the bar.
"You're out at a bar. How much more social can you get?" she shoots.
"Well, I was dragged out. Again"
"Probably for good reason"
She leans in.
"Look, just come out for a few sets. I promise you this'll be the best coffee you've ever had. Way better than the beer you're drowning your sorrows in"
"You're not very subtle, are you?" I chuckle.
"Subtlety is boring"
I sigh and turn to Cid.
"Hey don't look at me! I ain't ya daddy. I'll be fine here all on my own" he says.
"You sure?"
"Yes. Now get your ass out of here and go with this gorgeous Australian uh… err…" he struggles with her name.
"Fang". The name's Fang" she says, before turning back to me.
=0=
"Here you two go!"
A barista sets down two cups of coffee on the table.
"Thank you" Fang tells her. She walks away.
"Best coffee huh?" I say as I reach for it.
"Best in Traverse Town. Everywhere else is still up for debate"
I blow on it and take a small sip.
She takes a sip of hers, like she already knows how my reaction will turn out.
"Fuck, that's so good!" I tell her.
"Like I said"
"How have I not heard of this place before?" I ask, looking around the café.
"It's a shame. Lady Luck has been open for years, yet no one seems to know about it"
"Really is"
I take another sip.
"So, I'm curious" I start.
She raises her eyebrows.
"Why'd you want me coming out here with you? Could've asked anyone else" I ask.
"I don't have many friends. Well, more like there's not a lot of people I like. I like Aqua, I like Yuffie, but no one else really. And I find you interesting"
" This is starting to sound like a consoling session" I tease.
"Far from it. I can care less if you wanna yap on about your bullshit drama or listen to mine. However, if you feel like you need to I am all ears. I find its sometimes better to rant to a complete stranger than someone you know"
"You know, you got a point"
"I always do. I can't ever seem to stop talking. It's a blessing and a curse"
"I've noticed"
She chuckles as I take another sip.
"Cheeky, aren't we" she tells me.
"I learn from the best"
Feedback fills the air. Fang, me, and the rest of the room turn our attention to the guy standing on the stage, messing with the mic. A girl with an acoustic guitar sits on a stool behind him.
"Alright everyone. Welcome back to open mic night! Today we have Claire performing a couple of songs today"
Fang's eyes grow.
"Oh fuck!" she exclaims low.
"What?"
She turns to me.
"That's my ex"
"Oh damn"
I look back up towards the stage. Claire is pretty cute. She's got that hipster, valley girl look. Damn, so Fang is gay? Guess there goes my shot.
"You want to leave?" I ask.
She shakes her head.
"Nope. Not letting her get the best of me"
She takes a sip of her coffee.
The guy walks off the stage and Claire begins to play. She's starting with a cover of "Blessing and a Curse by Angaleena Presley".
The crowd is relatively quiet as she plays. Everyone is into it. Even me. She's got an amazing voice. But I look over at Fang. She doesn't seem to be into it.
I nudge her arm.
She turns to me.
"Wanna step out for a sec?" I ask.
She smiles.
We get up and head out; not attracting much attention since we're at the back of the shop. As we walk outside, I button my flannel up a bit. It's still pretty cold out.
"We out here for a cigarette?" she asks.
I pull out my pack of cigarette and open the carton.
"Nope. Something better"
I pull out a joint and present it to her.
"Oh, thank Christ! I've been fiending all day"
I light up the joint.
Inhale. Exhale.
I pass it to her.
"Thought you could use it"
She takes a hit.
"It's just… she was playing our song. You know, she dumped me after I found her in our bed with another woman. Claims I wasn't 'gay enough' or some bullshit. Can you believe that shit?"
She takes another hit.
"Sounds like an excuse to me" I mention.
She passes it back to me.
"That's what I thought!"
"You know" I start.
Inhale. Exhale.
"I wasn't with this girl. But when she slept with this one douchebag to get back at me, it fucking hurt. I know we weren't together and wasn't in the right at all, but it still sucked"
"Like you don't even matter" she adds.
I nod.
Inhale. Exhale.
"I mean, I've also done my fair share of bullshit that hurt her. But I never cheated on her or compromised our love for each other! Or at least what I thought was love… fuck"
I pass the joint back to her.
"You're right… venting to a stranger is a lot better"
She smiles.
"Told ya"
She takes a hit.
I think for a moment.
"I got an idea" I tell her.
=0=
Fang and I head back into the coffee shop. Claire is done with her set and at the coffee bar talking to some girl. I walk back to our table while Fang struts over to the stage. Claire notices her walking by. It looks like she wanted to say hi, but Fang gives her the cold shoulder.
Fang talks to the guy from on stage earlier.
I take a sip of my coffee.
After what seems like a lot of nodding and chatting, Fang finally gets on stage and heads for the mic. She grabs it and tests it out by tapping on it.
Everyone's attention is on her now.
"Hello Lady Luck patrons! I am Fang. You might've seen me pop in here a few times over the years. Unfortunately I don't have a song or a poem to perform. More of just me ranting. I hope that's okay"
She picks the mic up from the stand and starts pacing around the stage.
"And I am ranting on the subject ooooooooooof ex girlfriends!"
Claire shifts in her seat a little.
"Now, a certain individual and I have broken up a couple weeks back. I didn't take it too kindly. Only because of the excuse of said break up. Like, I wasn't 'gay enough'. And I think I'm plenty gay. I mean I've been with no one but women in the past couple of year, I haven't sucked dick since college"
A customer nearly chokes on their coffee. My mouth drops open. Holy shit, this is great. I can see Claire doing the same.
"But apparently that's not gay enough for her. So she decides to sleep with someone else. She doesn't even dump me first. She just does it!"
Claire stands up from her seat.
"Okay Fang, that's enough!" she shouts.
Fang raises her eyebrows and Claire makes her way towards the stage
"Oh wow, look who it is everyone! It's the girl that's too gay for me"
I try really hard not to laugh.
"Great set by the way. Tell me… why did to play that song? Was it for that new piece of ass at the bar" she asks, trying to pass the mic to her.
Claire doesn't move. The girl at the bar she was talking to is just as uncomfortable.
She brings the mic back towards her.
"No? Nothing? What a shame. I guess no one will ever know. But, I do know one thing…. You're a fucking asshole and I hate your fucking guts and your songs are trash"
Claire looks so defeated.
Half the crowd in the coffee shop is clapping while the other doesn't know what to do. Fang turns back to the crowd and raises one hand high in the air.
"Thank you everyone! Have a lovely night. Hope it's full of love and alcohol!"
She puts the mic back and jumps off stage. She flips Claire off before jogging towards our table.
"Roxas, time to go!"
I laugh as I take one last sip of my coffee before running after her. The crowd continues cheering.
=0=
"Always Forever" by Cults is playing off a record player.
I light a joint up while Fang dances in the middle of her living room.
Inhale. Exhale.
She jumps into the seat next to me and sits down, grabbing the joint in one swift movement.
"Oh that felt fucking great!" she shouts before taking a hit.
"That was honestly one of the best open mic sets I've ever seen"
"Thank you, thank you! I probably won't be allowed back in there, but it was sooooo worth it"
I chuckle as she takes another hit. She passes it back to me.
"So you regret coming out?" she asks.
Inhale. Exhale.
"Not at all"
"See? I told you coming out would be beneficial"
I nod.
"You are right about that"
I pass it back to her.
"I gotta say, this might be the best night I've had in a while" I admit.
"Well, glad I could be of service" she says.
She looks at me. I look back at her. I have to urge to just kiss her right now. That'd be the icing on the cake for the night.
"I'm not sleeping with you" she tells me.
"Uh, wasn't-"
"You totally were thinking it. I can read it on your face. I may be gay but I can read you like a book"
I chuckle while she takes a drag.
"And it's not that you're not cute. You're cute… but not that cute"
She passes the joint back to me.
"I'll take that"
Inhale. Exhale.
"Thank you though. For real" I tell her.
She smiles.
"You're quite welcome Roxas"
The song continues playing as her and I sit there, getting higher and higher. Almost sounds like its echoing.
Tonight was a really good night. A break from the fucked up reality I've been wallowing in. It's nice to just sit back and enjoy the little things in life. The things that make life fun and worth living for. Nights like these… fuck, I'm high.
=0=
I know! Finally another update! Life has kept me busy but I always think about this story and how I can finish it. I've come up with so many different outlines for this story, and it'll be only a couple more chapters until this series wraps up.
I really want to make a finale that'll stay true to these characters and their journeys. Let me know what you think and until next time, take care!