Hello everyone, I'm so so sorry it's taking me ages to update! So many essays and exams I think my head is going to burst. Also, I'm super sorry again because I won't be able to update again until at least Monday because my mother is getting married this weekend and I'll be without internet for that whole time. I don't know how I'm going to live.

Also on a quick note, to any of you who read this and have been affected by the hurricane just know my thoughts and best wishes go out to you. I really hope you all stay safe and know that I'm thinking about you.

Anyway, I love you all. Keep on being awesome :)

Chapter 14 - Insides

Jade

I could smell his aftershave before I saw him, that same businesslike manner seemed to radiate from him like body heat.

"Dad." I said, crossing my arms as I entered the room.

Whatever good mood I was in before faded behind the mental walls of my mind as I threw up my defences.

I would have died before I showed my father any kind of emotion.

Jade." He said, standing up from the chair he was sitting in.

Mom was asleep, but there was no doubt in my mind that he had been here for a while and had probably spoken to her. It figured he was still in his suit; he never took the stupid thing off.

It was all business with him, I always imagined that he should get the words "what can you do for me?" tattooed on his forehead because he didn't care about anyone unless they were useful to him somehow. And clearly, Mom and I had long expired our use.

"What are you doing here." I didn't ask it like a question, because I hated the thought of asking my father for anything.

"Your mother still had me listed as an emergency contact. So when the hospital called me, I came here as soon as I could."

"You mean, as soon as you had said your precious goodbyes to your better family? Do they even know about me?"

"I may not be around as much as I should be, but I am still your father. You would do well to show me a little more respect."

"Respect?!" I didn't care that I was almost shouting now, "You've done nothing to deserve respect. Who the hell do you think you are? You think that you can just come here and that everything will be as it was and I will be a normal teenager waiting on her little daddy hand and foot? No. You don't even deserve anything. Just leave."

My father opened his mouth to retort, but a nurse had heard me shouting and came to investigate. "This is a hospital and not a court room. Both of you leave now, please."

Dad straightened his tie and the cuffs on his jacket before giving me one of his looks. A look that told me that he wasn't done with me yet, that there would be consequences.

I didn't care.

"I was just leaving." He said walking briskly past me and out of the room.

The nurse eyed me until mom coughed weakly from the bed. "No, let her stay. Please."

She gave me another look before nodding and then left the room.

"Mom?" I said, walking over to her. She looked a lot better now than what she had when I first saw her in here. Though she looked incredibly tired and worn out, she was still my mom and I wanted to see her get better.

I wanted to be here for her like she was never here for me.

"Baby, I'm glad you're here." she croaked. "Where were you?"

I drew up a chair and sat beside her, I could still smell my father's aftershave, but I tried my best to hide my disgust; for my mothers' sake.

"Out." I didn't feel like talking. Especially not to her. I knew she wasn't really interested. My mother doesn't do interested in anything, particularly if it involved me.

"You seem different today. Are you still with that guy… Ben?"

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms. "His name was Beck. And no. We broke up."

"You never talk to me anymore. When did it happen?"

"A while ago."

She coughed again, "How is school? Are you doing well?"

"Fine."

"Baby," her voice softened and she attempted to get up a little. I protested and didn't sit down again until she was lying on her back once more. "Have you thought about moving back in with me? I want you back home. I miss you. And I promise I'm done with the smoking and the drinking. As soon as I am out of here I'll be a new person, you'll see."

"I don't know."

When mom finally fell asleep, I figured it was time I did that too; but I had too much on my mind and it was already getting light outside.

I needed to talk a walk alone, and just think.

No. I needed Tori.

She would help me figure this out.

The day went by sluggishly, mostly because I hadn't had much sleep but also because I hadn't had any coffee for at least five hours.

I spent most of my time at my house, helping my mother adjust to being back at home. She decided it was time to clean the house, I told her it was a terrible idea since she had only just been released from hospital but she wouldn't listen.

Well, I guess her stubbornness was genetic because she was as mulish as me when she wanted something.

Several painful hours later, the chemicals in the cleaning products were making my head hurt so I decided to go see Tori.

We didn't do much, she told me her parents were out for the weekend and she didn't know where Trina was. I didn't have any clothes or a toothbrush so I figured I could drive home quickly and get them, then drive back here. Hopefully mom wouldn't press me too much about staying with her tonight.

I could handle her in hospital where she slept most of the time, but now that she was out she was annoyingly nosy in my life.

But as soon as I got home I instantly regretted it.

I stood at the doorway, stunned and unable to even blink. Mon and dad were both on the couch…

...Kissing.

They didn't hear the door shut, nor did they realise that I was standing there watching them. Mom's hands were wrapped in dad's hair as they practically devoured each other.

Of course an empty bottle of champagne was on the coffee table, their wine glasses just about empty.

It figures she wasn't even a day out of hospital before she hit the alcohol again. I could handle her drinking, but both of them together like this… it was too much.

I felt my eyes prickle, I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. I wanted to run.

I wanted Tori to be here. She would know what to do.

But I just stood there. Frozen. What could I do?

Eventually the both of them bust have needed fresh air because they broke apart slightly. Their faces so close together they may as well have been kissing again. Mom giggled girlishly, she usually did that when she was borderline drunk.

"We really shouldn't be doing this…" Mom whispered with another giggle.

"No." I said, surprising myself in a quiet yet deadly tone. "You shouldn't."

They both broke apart as if it would help hide what they were just doing. Yeah, right.

"Jadelyn," Mom said with a hiccup, "I didn't hear you come home."

"Jade." My father said, standing up and straightening his tie. Of course he was still wearing a suit. Did he ever take that stupid thing off? "This isn't what it looks like."

"Oh?" I said, taking a step closer to the living room and crossing my arms tightly. "What is it then?"

Dad looked uncomfortable. Good. "I was just leaving."

I shook my head and blocked his path, which surprised him as much as I surprised myself with this new found confidence. "No."

"I am your father. You do not get to speak to me like that. Now move."

"No."

"Jade…" Mom pleaded from the couch and attempted to stand up, but she must have had that much to drink because she only succeeded in falling over.

Dad kneeled down intending to help her up, but I beat him to it, shoving him out of the way with a glare made of ice.

When mom was in bed, I went back down and just caught dad as he was about to get into his car.

"Jadelyn, let me explain."

"I don't want to hear it, dad." I said it like it was a dirty curse word, and his usual calm demeanour faded for one second. "Who do you think you are?"

"I am your father. I don't have to listen to this." He opened up the car door and tried to get in, but I shut it almost as quickly as he opened it with strength I didn't know I had.

"You come here unannounced, just when we were finally getting along just fine without you… then you get mom back on the alcohol and kiss her?! One family was never enough so you had to make another, and even then you screwed that up!"

I was shouting now, but I didn't care. I wanted to cry, but I vowed that I would never give my father the satisfaction of knowing how much he has hurt me.

He was silent, his eyes studying me coolly. "None of that was ever meant to happen."

"But it did."

"What do you want from me?"

I laughed, of all things I had to laugh. I actually don't know why I did, maybe I was just filled with too many emotions all I could do now was the opposite of what I was feeling. "A normal childhood maybe? A normal mom and dad? A normal family and not a dysfunctional one?"

I met my father's eyes angrily; I wanted him to see what he had done to me after all this time. Maybe if he was a better parent I could have been so much more. I let him see that in my eyes.

Most of all, I wanted him to suffer like I had.

"I want my brother back."

My father's eyes flashed dangerously and I knew then that I had crossed the line. No one had mentioned my brother since the accident.

"You and I both know that wasn't my fault."

His voice was low, dangerously low. I wasn't about to back down, and neither was he. I knew though, that I poked a weak spot and the idea of that scared him. He studied me intensely, as if looking for a gap in my armour that he too could poke; but he didn't even know me anymore. I'm not the little girl I once was.

"How could you do this to me?" I said, "After everything. How?"

For once he had nothing to say, we just stared at each other.

"Just leave."

When he was in his car, he wound the window down before driving off, "This isn't over."

And for once, I agreed with him.