The Price You Pay

"But how?!" Her head was spinning. It didn't make sense. This was happening so suddenly, so fast.

What is Adric even saying?

She couldn't leave the Capitol. She had signed a contract, and even if she found the bravery to escape, there was always her family to think of. If she gave up now her family wouldn't stand a chance. This had all started so that she could secure her loved ones' lives. No matter how far the darkness had swallowed her there was no turning back now.

"I can't say, but you have trust me. When the time comes I'll get you out of here."

"I can't," blood pulled away from her cheeks. "Adric—I'm sorry, I know you mean well, but whatever happened, or could happen. I only have this now. I made my choice a long time ago. I knew what I was signing up for."

"Even you knew you weren't signing up to kill people, Pandora."

She felt a ball form in her throat. All the blood and gunshots. She felt dizzy. Her fingers pressed against her forehead, "I can't be saved."

"This isn't about me saving you. It's about you saving yourself. You made a choice a long time ago. There are things you've done that I know you hate yourself for. But it's the past, Pandora. Your future though, it's not ruined."

"And what about the future of my family?!"

Her words seemed to blow Adric back. "Pandora—you can't go on like this. You weren't meant to ever be here."

"Then why am I here? If I was never meant to be here, to do everything I've done, then why has it all happened?"

"You were coerced. It's not your fault."

"It is, Adric. All of it."

"Please. I'm risking everything. Let me help you."

She saw a glimpse of a much younger Adric then. Sad hopefulness shone from his eyes. "And my family? Can you promise me you'll be able to help them?"

"We aren't talking about—"

"Answer the question."

His eyes shut. All the hope disappeared. Even his body sank into a state of trepidation. "No. I can't. It isn't right. You should be able to leave! You've done so much. Too much. And with all this coming, I want you safe. I need you to be safe."

"I haven't been safe for a very long time, Adric."

"You don't think I know that? I try—every time I try to help you I fail. Almost four years ago you were defenseless and screaming as they mutated your brain. I couldn't even get through a door to reach you."

"I remember."

"At least sleep on it. At least lie to me a little and tell me you'll think about what I'm offering."

She dropped her gaze to her hands. A few hours ago they had been covered in blood. "I suppose I could lie. I'm very good at that. As I recall."

Heartbeats of quiet filled the room. Background noises took the place of their voice for a time. The sound of water dripping in the sink, traffic outside, rain hitting the windowpanes. Far to the west the sun was beginning to set.

"We're getting too old for all these lies, Pandora." His voice sounded far away now, he even looked far away.

"I know, Adric," she whispered back, "We are."

"It hurts."

She felt a familiar burn in her head. It did hurt.

"Tomorrow the Victor's Tour starts. And then…"

"Panem's going to get the biggest show it's ever seen," she finished. Her thoughts went to Finnick.

"You'll have to put on a show too. All eyes won't just be on the Tributes. They'll have you on exhibit. It's already starting. Tomorrow they wanted you to do a photo shoot. I think after all that time being asleep they want to show the Capitol you're still here."

"I know."

"And—with Finnick being here soon the press will be going…well, you know."

"I know," she repeated. They had been lovers. The media wouldn't forget that. She cringed at the thought of pretending and answering questions.

"Pandora…why is that the people who need your help the most never ask for it?"

Her eyes slowly lifted to his face. He never left me.

"I don't know. I guess, maybe, all they ever wanted was someone to try to help."

They stared at each other. Quietly, thoughtfully. It wasn't forced or uncomfortable. This was normal, Pandora realized, this felt right.

"I should go," She finally said.

After getting dressed again. She followed Adric through his home without a sound. She didn't speak until she pulled on her boots. "You think you haven't helped me, Adric. I know that. There's no way I can explain to you how much you have," he opened the door for her, "I suppose that's another reason I can't accept your offer."

"What do you mean?"

She stepped out. He was leaning in the doorframe. His brow creased. A perfect picture. She would remember him like this. No matter what happened to her with serum, brain scrambling, or nightmares, this is how she would remember him. "You think I would leave my only friend? After all we've been through?"

"This isn't about me."

She shrugged, slowly lifting her eyes to his face once more. "We stick together."

Quickly he looked away and crossed his arms. "Years ago you would have rather spit on me than said something like that."

"I guess that's what they call growing up. Though to be fair I did have those three years of dreamland. Can't blame me for being stubborn."

He tried to hide a smirk but Pandora caught it. At least he still remembers how to smile. "Have a good night, kid."

"Goodnight, Adric."

She turned around and just started walking when he called after her, "And Pandora! Think about it. Please."

"I will," She lied. This was their new game. "I will."

That night she tossed and turned for hours. When she finally did fall asleep she dreamed they were all in the arena again. Even people that hadn't been there before. There was Finnick, Adric, August, and Dash. A girl with a pink ribbon in her hair. A boy half monster and half human. One by one they died. One by one they all left her until she was alone in the dark.

She gasped for breath as soon as she awoke. The sheets stuck to her sweaty skin. She drained a glass of water and then another near her bedside. After the third glass her nightmare had washed away. The traces were blurred—at least on the surface.

Another day.

She knew there wasn't much time before the car came for her. She was back in the Capitol now. Her life was scheduled. She took a shower and dressed without giving her reflection a second glance. Outside Demetri, her driver, nodded to her. If he realized how upset she had been the night before he didn't let on. No doubt he had been trained to not ask questions.

"Miss Sullivan looks beautiful."

"Thank you, Demetri."

"I missed you while you were gone."

He started up the engine and she peered past the window at the buildings going by, "Well I'm back now."

"That photograph I had you sign was well received by my daughter."

She tightened the gloves on her hand and crossed her legs, "I'm glad." It wasn't uncommon for her to scribble her signature on pictures of herself. Before becoming a Victor Pandora didn't understand what a signature was. Now it felt like she was writing them in her sleep. Fortunately the wave of admiration had slightly subsided thanks to the chaos of the latest Hunger Game, but she was something of a trophy for the Capitol.

"This new Victor though, Katniss Everdeen. It's all my little Vera has been able to talk about. For months now, on and on."

"Oh?"

"Yes. She wants braids all the time. She wants to be dressed just like the girl on fire."

Pandora furrowed her brow, "What a strange nickname. How did this Miss Everdeen come by it?"

"Didn't you watch the games?"

"I never watch the games."

Demetri twitched his eyes around nervously, "Oh, of course. Miss Sullivan is so busy. I forget."

"It's fine," She whispered, "Tell me more about this Katniss Everdeen and the boy, what was his name? The second Victor?"

"Peeta, Peeta Mellark."

He has Marius's eyes. She tilted her head towards the windows once more as she recalled the ghost of her arena partner in the rainy alleyway a few months ago. Even in death Marius had pulled her out of the deep. That had been the beginning of the change.

"And does he have a nickname, this Peeta?"

Demetri laughed, which made Pandora smile. "No, Miss Sullivan. He does not. They are in love. The star-crossed lovers! My wife says it's romantic. They fought together and now they are Victors together."

"Your wife seems to have a pleasant outlook on life. Today the Victor's Tour begins."

"Oh my Vera will be hanging on to the edge of her seat for that. She can't wait to see them again."

"Well fortunately she'll be seeing a lot of them in the coming months." More than you think.

They pulled up to the building at five passed the hour. Pandora nodded in thanks to Demetri before shuffling past the crowds of people and through rotating glass doors. The styling team was there to meet her. Caradoc had taken on the color red and gold as his latest palette. The girl on fire, she thought.

"You're late. You're always late. Follow me."

Pandora rolled her shoulders back and sighed as stylist after stylist started to strip her of clothing and pull on her hair.

"You should grow your hair out again. A lady should have long hair."

"No, no, no. This is much better. It brings out her sharp bone structure."

"Perhaps if you let us dye it a shade darker, or….or even blue."

On and on it went. With all the time she had spent in the Capitol she had almost forgotten how aggravating it was to be prodded and poked like a fish on the end of a spear. However, in a way she was more thankful to be the hands of these vapid harpies than back in the execution room, or District 6 for that matter. Even though she was overwhelmed here, it was better than staring into the faces of dead people.

"For god's sake do I have to shove a stick up your spine! What did those soldiers teach you while you were away?" Caradoc barked, "Straighten out!"

Pandora listened, but made sure to glare before she did.

"How about this one, Caradoc?"

"It's red," he angrily spat back.

"Well, red is in this year."

"I specifically said I wanted the bronze with the black underlay!"

"Right. Sorry, Caradoc."

At least that hadn't change. The whole room was still terrified of Caradoc. Pandora looked closely at him as they did her nails and make up. He didn't look like he had aged a day.

The dress she wore was strapless and fell to her mid-calf in a full skirt. There were two layers to it. The top layer looked and felt to be made of bronze feathers that glimmered in the light like a suit of armor. The second was stark black tulle. The heels were tall and painful. The makeup black and bronze.

"Good. Come along. Let's not keep your partner waiting."

"Partner?"

She followed him through the studio, to where a stage had been set up. As soon as she saw him she peered to Caradoc and then back again.

"Kol."

"Pandora," he mimicked her tone.

"Mr. Flemming is in demand, Miss Sullivan. You should be honored that he could make it today."

She tilted her head up and picked up her feet.

"No, no. The honor is all mine."

"As it should be," she quipped.

"Now this is for our couture ads. These will be hanging around the Capitol as very large billboards, so for the next hour listen to me and do as I say."

"Oh, we'll try," Kol sarcastically replied.

"Turn to the side, Pandora!"

She stepped forward and turned her side to the camera, facing Kol. He flicked his blue eyes to her face and winked. Jokingly she winked back.

"I expect to be dazzled."

She smiled and leaned close, "Just don't get too excited, Flemming."

"Good! Yes, now turn your face slightly to the side and lean in as if your lips were almost touching. Tilt your head back more, Pandora!"

She listened. A bright flash lit up the stage.

"Grab his tie."

Again she obeyed.

"You smell like lavender," he whispered.

"A strange time to be doing a photo shoot, don't you think?" she asked, repositioning herself once more.

"And with me…I wonder what the powers that be have cooking up. Another failed romance for, Miss Sullivan?"

She laughed. "I doubt that."

"No laughing!"

"Yes, Pandora. This is serious business," Kol joked.

She laughed again.

"What did I just say, Pandora!"

"Sorry."

Kol took off his suit jacket and went back into a pose with her. "Of course who could compete with Adric…"

She parted her lips in shock, "I'm not with Adric. He—he has Lilas."

"Yes, Pandora. He does."

Her face dropped. "What are implying?"

"I didn't realize I had. I thought I was just saying a fact."

Pandora's gaze narrowed. "I think you know what you're saying."

Another flash, and then another.

"I suppose I did."

"Change your face, Pandora!"

She closed her eyes and leaned back into Kol.

"I was only joking, don't worry."

"I wasn't worried."

"Of course not. You don't get worried anymore."

She rubbed her lips together. A wave of nausea swirled in her gut. Suddenly the heat from the light felt suffocating. The metal of the dress pinched.

"I need water," she announced, "A glass of water!"

A worker came running. She took loud and hardy gulps before handing the glass back and taking her spot again.

Instantly another shot was taken.

"I take it back. I take it all back. I'm being awful again, aren't I?" He grabbed her arm and positioned it behind her back. She grumbled underneath her breath as he maneuvered closer to her and a camera flash blinded her.

"I like you, Kol. But sometimes I want to kill you."

He smiled broadly, "All part of the charm. I still remember when you just wanted to kill me."

"A rock has more charm than you."

"You say that so much, it's almost like you mean it."

She rolled her eyes and smiled, "Almost."

"They'll have to cover up that horrible scar of yours…"

Pandora froze. Her eyes dropped to the thumb size scar near her wrist. It was the brand of the revolution before the mockingjay had been taken on, before the rebels had decided to fight in broad daylight. Courage is a dangerous thing. Snow had always repeated that in her presence. She heard him say it now.

"I could care less of they cover it up."

"But they will."

She stared at him with vacant eyes and took a step back, "I think that's enough pictures, Caradoc!"

"What?! But—"

She turned around and started to unbutton the dress as she walked away, "I said that's enough."

Caradoc whipped his head left to right and glared at Kol, "What did you say to her?!"

"He didn't say anything. I'm tired, thirsty, and sick of being blinded by those damn lights," She crooked her head around to the photographer, "Did you get your shot?"

"Well, well yes, I suppose."

"Good," She politely bowed, "Gentlemen, it was a pleasure."

The moment she entered the dressing room Pandora made sure to lock the door. Peeling the dress off was painful and difficult to do alone but it was better than being suffocated by squawking drones. Her gaze moved to the scar once again and she felt the blood rush to her cheeks. Kol knew something, but Pandora couldn't put her finger on it. She was sure that what he did know was all based on assumptions. Three years was a long time to be asleep, and although Kol liked to pretend to be as insipid as the rest of the Capitol he was much smarter than that. And to make matters worse he was callous and casual about everything. This wasn't the first time he had pressed for answer. Pandora wondered what he would say if she told him what had happened, all the things that had happened.

Angrily she swatted a few beauty products off a nearby counter and pulled on her jacket. He told me he had seen Adric while I was in a coma. He knows, she thought in a terrified frenzy, he knows that something's off.

The hinges creaked as she flung the door opened and pulled the hood of her jacket up. Caradoc and the other stylists were all crowded around the photography screen discussing pictures. They barely noticed her as she slipped out of the studio and into the hall. She bit her nails and tapped her foot as she punched the button for the elevator.

"Pandora, wait…"

Her eyes twitched to where she had just come from.

"Dammit," she whispered under her breath. Urgently she pressed the button again, but the elevator doors refused to open.

"Let me talk to you."

"Go away, Kol."

"You're upset."

"No."

He let out a sigh and raised his eyebrows, "Honestly I have no idea how you got the entire Capitol to fall in love with you. You are the chilliest woman I've ever met."

"Do you ever stop talking?"

"Occasionally."

Finally the elevator came. Much to her regret Kol jumped in with her.

"Why are you nervous?" He quickly asked.

Her eyes widened, "I'm not! I'm tired."

"Well, fine." He put his hands in his pockets and sighed again. "I was rude, wasn't I?"

"Yes."

"Sorry, I'm use to everyone laughing with me. This may surprise you but some people do find me pleasant. I forget to be—"

"Normal?"

"Look who's talking…"

She clenched her jaw.

"Joking, again. I just noticed something was wrong. And that scar…"

"I burnt myself by accident," she stammered, "I told you that before, months ago. Would you drop it?"

"I don't believe you."

"Okay then."

"Look, I know you find me annoying—personally I think you're secretly in love with me but—"

She peered at the numbers and pursed her lips. "You're so funny."

He smiled, "Right. You're immune to all my tricks. But let me just finish. The Victor's Tour started today."

"I'm aware."

"In a few weeks Plutarch Heavensbee and several other Gamemakers are having a dinner party. A sort of celebration, I guess, after the current Victors arrive in the Capitol. It's like a preparation dinner for the coming games. And as the son of Artorius Flemming I am suppose to attend."

The doors opened up and they started walking.

"And I was wondering if you'd want to come with me?"

Pandora let out a cruel laugh, "Yea right."

"I'm serious," his expression was almost humorous.

"You want me to go with you? Can you imagine what that will look like?"

"Oh save it," he smiled, "This wasn't my idea. Plutarch Heavensbee was so taken with you that he suggested I bring you."

Her eyes narrowed, "What?"

"He specially asked after you."

"Why?"

Kol nodded to a group of passing women who were giggling. Pandora cleared her throat to get his attention again. "Oh, right. Why—well, now, that's a great question. I have no earthly idea. I tried to tell him what a cruel little witch you are but he didn't seem to buy it."

"Such a funny young man you are," she jabbed, trying to hide her smirk.

Pandora had no desire to be in a room filled with Gamemakers, past or present, but this Plutarch Heavensbee had peaked her interest the night they had met. With what she learned from Adric, the new Head Gamemaker had a lot of secrets waiting to be uncovered. Finnick will be thrown back into the arena. They hadn't spoken since the night he left. By all standards they weren't even friends anymore, and yet through all that murk and confusion Pandora couldn't help feeling sad. She thoughtfully rubbed her lips together and scanned Kol's face. "And this would only be casual, right?"

"Unless you want a kiss at the end."

"Okay. Keep it to yourself, Flemming."

"Of course it would be casual, I promise I will not try anything."

Slowly she crossed her arms, "Fine."

"Wonderful. I look forward to a delightful evening with the famed Victor, Pandora Sullivan. Maybe with the enticing background noise of fat Gamemakers you and I can discuss important social issues like what color is in this year and the excavation of the gardens to the south of the city…" he playfully widened his eyes in mock excitement.

"Not to forget the weather," she added.

"Oh, of course not."

And hopefully I'll get more than frivolities out of Plutarch Heavensbee, Pandora thought. Answers, that was what she was looking for now. One way or another there would be answers.