A/N: Welcome to A New Life: Omake Edition! I just got back from my first week as a freshman! And between NOT getting made fun of and being popular with girls; I'm in a REALLY good mood! So that's why I wanted to do a WHOLE chapter of random episodes that have nothing to do with the plot, story, and I wanna break the fourth wall until it's a pile of dust!
P.S. I didn't particually ask for PERMISSION to use MarHeavenAngel and her character Kaori in the story, but she didn't say no when we were chatting so that's good enough for me!
---
Episode 1: Cyber Ass-kicking.
Nick walked down to the lounge room quickly, he wore a red bandana on the set at all times to stop all arguments on who was the real author. He kicked the door down and skipped in happily, the lounge room was a blank room with a coffee machine and a giant food table that Rob and Nanashi were always crowding.
"HELLO EVERYBODY! WHAT A WONDERFUL DAY!" Nick smiled as he leaned over and kissed Kira on the cheek and sat down next to her. He lifted her up and plopped her down on his lap.
"What happened to you?" Samantha asked from the other couch. "Win the lottery."
"First day of school." Nick smiled. Kira looked at him oddly.
"Who are you and what have you done with my Nicky-kun?" She asked.
"Sorry, but I mean, I get up at a reasonable time to get ready for school, when I get there I find out that I'm not the one red head so no one picks on me." Kira and Samantha nodded their heads to this reasoning. "And I'm popular with the girls there!"
Kira twitched at this. She got up and picked up the coffee table in the middle. "SAY WHAT?" Samantha grabbed Catherine from the other couch and they hid at the opposite end of the room.
"EEP!" Nick jumped from the couch, barely dodging the coffee table. "DON'T KILL ME!"
"What the hell?" Winny walked out of her dressing room with a facial mask and robe on. She ducked as a pillow was thrown at her and she hid next to Samantha. "What's going on?"
"Turns out some other girls have taken an interest in our author here." Samantha sighed.
"Seriously?" Winny blinked. "Wow."
"It's not that surprising, I mean, he's like a shyer version of our Nick." She pointed out.
"He's still not that quiet though." Winny sighed.
"Onii-san can be pretty loud sometimes." Catherine nodded.
"STOP RUNNING!" Kira yelled as she threw a couch at Nick.
"STOP THROWING THINGS AT ME!" Nick jumped over it and made a hand sign.
"Summoning Jutsu!" He pounded his palm against the floor, and a five foot two girl with short blond hair appeared in a ball of smoke.
"What in the?" She turned around to see Nick waving at her. "Oh hi Nick! What's up?"
"Hi Erin, I'm going use you as a human shield ok? Good!" Nick picked Erin up and ran over to Rob and Nanashi. "HELP!"
"EEP! PUT ME DOWN!" Erin yelled.
"Who's she?" Samantha asked.
"Oh I remember her, I did a short omake with her and the two Nick's once." Winny pointed it out. "Nick calls her Peanut-chan too." She grimaced.
"You really hate that name huh?" Samantha frowned.
"I'm going to hang him from his bed sheet." Winny twitched.
"Nick you idiot!" Erin yelled.
"Sorry!" A baseball hit Erin the stomach, she lurched forward and Nick tripped over himself from the movement. They both fell on the ground, Kira brought up an axe and twitched a little.
"Is that one of the girls?" She asked. Erin shook her head rapidly.
"I'm a friend!" Erin glared at Nick. "But as long as I'm here." She took one of the couches out of the wall and practiced swatting it around like a bat.
"Ohh… this is gonna hurt is it?" Nick sighed. The story Nick poked his head out of his room and yelled something about it being his line.
"YES IT WILL!" The girls yelled.
---
Hehe, you get revenge for the Peanut-chan comments Erin! Good for you!
---
Episode 2: Abusing Powers
---
Nick sipped from his bottle and smiled. "So you don't get any benefits?"
The blond girl in front him sighed, she was wearing a frilly pink dress that she obviously loathed. "Yeah, I mean she doesn't treat me badly, but she's pretty mean sometimes."
"Sucks for you Kaori-chan." Nick sipped from the bottle again.
"Do you really drink off stage?" She asked with an arched eyebrow.
"Oh this? No! It's chocolate milk!" Nick smiled widely. "Trust me, I've drunken some hardcore stuff before, it tasted nasssty!"
"Mind if I sit down?" Phantom walked by. Kaori cringed and Nick waved to him.
"Yeah sure Phantom." Nick smiled. Kaori cringed again as he sat next to her. "So what's up with you? Getting a lot of guest spots lately?"
"Yeah, it's almost a pain." He frowned. "And all the yaoi… oh god the yaoi."
"Poor man." Nick frowned. "But at least you get jobs after this, OC's just turn into dust."
"Well there are advantages." Kaori stammered. "Like having a mind of our own."
"Yeah, but our authors can control us." Nick arched his eyebrow. "Speaking of which, why are you sweating and looking at Phantom like that?" Kaori's eyes glazed over and a little drool came out of her mouth. "Oh no! RUN PHANTOM RUN!" Kaori tackled Phantom to the ground and started to kiss him as he waved his arms back and forth trying to get off. "DAMN YOU AUTHORS!"
---
Meanwhile, Nick and Erin (MarHeavenAngel) laughed manically in their evil lair in an undisclosed location (Nick's backyard).
"MUHAHAHAHAHA!" Erin laughed as she pressed another button on the laptop, The screen showed Kaori and Phantom on the floor, she pressed another key and Kaori pinched Phantom's butt.
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Nick crossed his arms in a Don Kanoji like fashion. (It's a Bleach reference, and yes I know I probably spelt it wrong.)
"What should we do next?" Erin asked as she bounced up and down in her seat.
"Oh! Should we make Winny kidnap Nick?" Nick bounced up and down and started writing ideas down on a pad of paper.
"No, she's already done that on her own accord off-stage, remember?" Erin shook her head. "She's feisty little girl isn't she? How did you say you came up with her again?"
Nick blushed fiercely. "Err… Movie character?
Erin arched her eyebrow. "What kind of movie character?"
"J-JUST A MOVIE CHARACTER!" (It's a joke people! I'm not that kind of pervert!) Nick yelled as he pressed a button on the keyboard. Story Nick, who was trying to get Kaori off Phantom, suddenly tripped and landed on top of Kaori.
"Where do you think An-" A short girl with brown hair burst through the screen door.
"I HEARD PHANTOM WAS GONNA BE HERE!" The girl yelled. Nick waved and she sighed. "You suck." (That's Phantom'sAngel if you didn't guess, sorry AnimeGurl, you don't have a profile for any reference!)
"Well hey, we're messing with our OC's, you wanna try?" Nick smiled the girl rushed up and put her finger to her chin.
"Can I mess with Nanashi real quick?" She asked. Nick shook his head.
"Nope, not an OC." Nick sighed.
"Can I mess with Nick real quick then?" She asked innocently. The real Nick shrugged and pulled up a seat. "Go ahead, when your done I'll make us cookies!"
"COOKIES!" Erin rushed into the kitchen.
"NOT NOW!" Nick screamed at her. She walked outside with her head drooped down.
---
Nick felt a slight pinch as he suddenly lost conscious thought, he looked down at Kaori manhandling Phantom on the floor and suddenly he felt jealous. He kicked Kaori off and dived onto Phantom.
---
Nick's jaw dropped as he watched the scene from the laptop.
"Oops, so the Y button stands for Yaoi. I get it now."
"TURN IT OFF!" Erin and Nick both yelled at her, she pressed the backspace button and suddenly Story Nick regained consciousness.
---
"Oh… my… god." Kaori and Nick both whispered.
"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO?" Phantom screamed.
"IT'S NOT US! IT'S THE AUTHORS!"
---
Hehe, my two greatest and only fans… Damn… WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO ALL THE OTHER GUYS WHO READ DEFECTION?! DID THEY NOT GET THE SEQUEL LINK?! Oh well, you guys got guest spots of randomness, AnimeGurl… well… you get a cyber cookie with cyber wasabi on it for being a fan.
---
Episode 3: The Dating Game
Since last time I used the characters like they were actors, but in this they're actually using their story personalities.
---
Erin tapped her foot. "You're going on."
"I DON'T WANT TO! I LIKE ALVISS-KUN YOU PSYCHO!" Kaori yelled through her dressing room drawer. "AND WHY DO I HAVE TO WEAR THIS THING?"
"Because we're recreating the Dating Game! You have to dress like you're from the 70's!" Erin yelled.
"Do I at least get to know who I'm questioning?" Kaori said, slightly weakening to the idea.
"No, but maybe you'll find Alviss-kun in the group." Erin cooed. Kaori suddenly stiffened.
"Ok fine." Kaori burst out of the door in a superhero pose; she wore tye-dye (Never bothered to learn the spelling sorry.) bellbottom jeans and a white shirt. "Do I have to wear these jeans?" She then blushed. "And why can't I wear a bra?"
"I don't know some hippie philosophy, now wear these and get out there!" Erin put the tye-dye bandana around her head and put her hair in the ponytail in a flash, followed by sliding the dark, round glasses on and throwing her out onto the stage.
---
Story Nick sat on his stool and sighed angrily. "Why can't I be the host? You're the single one."
"As good a point as that may be, I can't live in a special make-believe world all the time." Nick chuckled. "And besides the point, I'm shy."
"NO YOU'RE NOT YOU BASTARD!" Story Nick punched Author Nick in the stomach.
"AM TOO!" He blushed a little and looked away indignantly. "You haven't seen me around girls I like."
"Like Kira?"
"Like before she was with me!" Nick punched the Story Nick in the face and twitched. Story Nick got up and tackled him.
"Damn it you two! You have 10 minutes until we go on the air!" Winny said as she dragged the Story Nick off of the Author. "Now put your shirt back on." She blushed a little.
"Can't I just wear my undershirt?" Story Nick sighed.
"NO! IT'S A 70's THING!" Winny shoved the tye-dye flannel shirt on him and stormed off.
"Do you have anything besides tye-dye?" Story Nick sighed.
"Sorry man! Phantom and Peta wanted to use the rest of the shirts for a costume party."
"Seriously? That's bullcrap." Story Nick pouted. "Can we at least buy some more stuff?"
"Uhh… no!" Nick turned Story Nick around and pushed him back into his stool.
---
Alviss walked up to Nick. "Hey Author-san." He said coolly. Nick turned around and smiled widely.
"Hey man, welcome to the show, here have a beer." He threw a can at him and he sighed.
"I'd rather not." He declined.
"C'mon! You're gonna want to see this, why not enjoy it a little more?" He cooed.
"With alcohol?" Alviss arched an eyebrow.
"Oh I get it." Nick smiled devilishly. "YOU'RE A LIGHTWEIGHT!"
Alviss twitched. "Can I just see Kaori-chan please?" He mumbled.
"You'll see her man." Nick smiled. "And I'm just kidding around. The beer's full of Dr. Pepper, Kira wouldn't let me drink anything." He smiled. Alviss rolled his eyes and sat on the bleachers next to all the cameras.
---
Two guys walked up in the booths next to Nick, one of them had a slight mustache and a goatee, he was tall and had a lean body, but didn't look very muscular. He wore big, dark glasses and a button down shirt that was plaid with white pants. But all of this didn't stop anyone from staring at the huge afro he had.
The other one, who wasn't as tall, had longer hair than Nick, his hair was brown with white streaks in it (Seemingly dyed) that came down an inch past his shoulders. He wore an open black T-shirt that faintly showed a six-pack, and he had brown slacks on.
Kaori grumbled and sat on her stool on the end of the stage. The three guys looked at each other and waved to each other before giving the thumbs up to Rob and Nanashi, who were working the cameras.
"Ok Kaori-chan, here are the questions, and good luck." Kira trotted up to her quickly and handed her the cards. She sighed before faking a smile and taking them. "Oh and Kaori-chan, you're allowed to wear a bra."
"DAMN IT ERIN! I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW!" Kaori burst from her stool and ran for her dressing room. After a few minutes, she walked out with a huff, Author Nick chuckled and patted her on the shoulder.
"No more anger fits ok?" Nick looked at her. She groaned and Nick nodded. "Good, now look happy for the cameras."
"IS THIS GOING ON TV?" Kaori yelled.
"Worse, YouTube." Nick laughed. "Just kidding, I just wanna use this for us to look back on it years later."
"Fine." Nick ran off and cued the cameras. "Welcome to the Omake Dating Game! I'm your host Checky Shazam!" The crew arched their eyebrows and Nick just gave them a 'go-with-it' look. They shrugged and Nick continued. "After today, one of our handsome contestants will win a date with our wonderful Bachlorette…" He stopped at the guy with the afro. "Well, maybe handsome is too strong."
"Hey!" The man stood up. Nick chuckled and forced the man back into his seat.
"Woah, he's like twice your size." Story Nick marveled.
"I'm strong too ya' bastard." Author Nick glared. He walked on and stopped at Kaori. "And here's our Bachlorette, Kaori." He leaned over. "Sorry, formalities." He pecked her on the cheek and shook her hand. "Hello Kaori."
"Hello Nick." Kaori said through gritted teeth. Meanwhile, Alviss was punching a hole in the bleachers.
"Now, why don't you start with the first question, and remember, the contestants can only here the questions." Nick smiled. Kaori cleared her throat and lifted the cards.
"What is your dream date?" Kaori leaned over to Nick. "We're kicking it off with that?"
"They get better." Nick smiled wickedly. Kaori's eyes widened but she sat still.
"C-contestant number one?" She stammered. The man with the black open shirt gave a million dollar smile that made the girls blush.
'So…hot.' Samantha (Who was working the lights with Catherine), Kira, and Winny all blushed.
"I would take you out to a nice candle-light dinner on a boat, and then take you to a tall skyscraper where we can stare at the city lights in peace." Kaori started to daydream about it, but she had to use Alviss's image instead of making a guy up.
"Sounds like a romantic, now remember, we use voice changers so don't think too much about who the guy may be by his voice." Nick lied.
'I already like this guy! I hope he's hot though.' Kaori smiled. She felt a little guilty about doing this, but then she thought maybe she'd get lucky and one of the guys would be Alviss! "Contestant number two?"
The afroed man smiled a crooked smile, the girls cringed and backed off. (Even Catherine.) "I would take you dancing and then wing it from there." Kaori thought that the dancing would be fun before shaking her head.
"Number three?" She asked sweetly, her hopes rising. Story Nick groaned and read a cue card held up by Nanashi.
The cue card read: 'She's really hot, say something nice!'
"I would take you ice-skating before taking you to a nice field where we could watch the sun go down and gaze at the stars." Nick sighed. The real Nick squeaked before the rest of the girls stared at both of them. Kaori sighed and then almost fell out of her chair in a daze.
"And we're going to commercial!" Nick said before dropping the mic and rushing over to his counterpart. "What the hell are you doing? When did you read that story?" He whispered.
"I live in your brain genius, and since I look just like you I can get into your personal story ideas. I must say, you're quite the romantic." He smiled evilly. The rest of the girls. (Kaori simply continued daydreaming.) marched up to Nick. He gulped before they all glomped the two of them.
"THAT'S SO ROMANTIC!" They squealed. Catherine tried to get in before climbing over Samantha and hugging Story Nick's head. "WHICH ONE OF YOU CAME UP WITH THAT?"
Story Nick smirked and the Author Nick shook his head. "HE DID!" They pointed at each other. The girls backed off and stared awkwardly. Author Nick raised his hand. "Fine it was me, happy now?"
"NICKY-KUUUUN!" Kira tackled him. Nick yelped and they fell to the floor.
---
"And we're back!" Nick smiled as he finished putting the last bandage on. "Kaori-chan, would you please read the next question?"
"Contestant number one." She smiled. "How many kids would you like to have when you get older?"
The hottie grinned. "I want as many as my wife-to-be wants." The girls smiled dreamily.
"Contestant number two?"
"I want two boys." The girls frowned.
"Number three?" Kaori asked.
"I want one girl, maybe two if I can support another child." The girls quizzically looked at the red head. Kaori half-smiled and flipped the card.
"One, where is the best place for us to-" She blushed fiercely and flipped the card. "What is your favorite po-" She flipped the card again before looking to Author Nick. "You pervert."
"Ok ok, here's the real final question." He handed her a golden card.
"What would you do for the person you love?" Kaori asked. Contestant one smiled joyfully.
"I would protect them everyday of my life." He smiled. The girls blushed again and nearly fainted.
Number two spoke up. "I would buy them all the jewelry in the world to show how much they're worth to me." The girls looked at him confused and then looked over to Story Nick, who was on the verge of tears from the question.
"Number three?" Kaori asked.
"I… I can't say it." Author Nick shuddered. He walked over to him and patted him slowly on the back. Story Nick smirked and leaned close to his ear. "If you don't want me to spill how sappy you really are, I'll need some encouragement."
"You bastard." Author Nick sighed. "What do you want?"
"I want Winny to back off, and you have to end Final Destination so that I don't get to come back for a surprise sequel." Story Nick's lips curled into a wide smile.
"Number three is ready to answer!" Author Nick ran over to Kaori. Story Nick pretended to wipe his tears away.
"I would protect them with my body and soul! I would give up almost anything to hold them in my arms and I would gladly give my life to follow them into the next world!" The other guys fell to the floor and Kaori stumbled out of her chair. Author Nick smiled and picked Kaori up.
"Woah woah woah!" Kaori stopped him. "Where in the hell did you pick up this sap?"
Author Nick twitched and dropped her on the floor before leaning over to talk to her. "Have you made your decision?"
"Uh… I'll go with number one!" Kaori smiled. 'If I went with number three and I didn't like him, I'd feel like such a jerk anyways.' The wall lifted and the man stepped through, Kaori's nose started to drip blood and she stood at attention.
"Hello, Kaori-chan." The man opened his arms. Kaori rushed into them and gave a stupid smile. "Do you remember me?"
"Huh? What?" She started. "No, why would I?" Author Nick started to chuckle.
"Oh well, let's go on that date, the limo is outside." The man picked her up bridal style and rushed her out the door. When the door closed, Author Nick burst out in hysterical tears and waved at the cameras for them to turn off.
"What's up with you?" Rob asked as he walked up to him. Nick laughed and pointed to the afroed man, who frowned and took off his afro, the cast fell to the floor and started to yell at Nick for being a dick.
"YOU SET MY KAORI-CHAN UP WITH HIS BOSS?" Alviss rushed up to him and grabbed Author Nick by the neck.
Nick laughed and choked at the same time as Alviss shook his back and forth.
---
"Oh, this was so romantic." Kaori smiled as they looked over the city. The man looked at her as they held each other tenderly. 'But… Alviss…'
"I know you like another person Kaori-chan." The man smiled. "But… can I get one kiss before I let you go back to him." Kaori blushed and looked to him softly. They shared a brief kiss before they walked back to the roof door.
"By the way… I know it sounds stupid, but I never asked for your name at dinner." She smiled.
"Oh… it's..." She paused in mid-step. And her jaw dropped as the man told her his name and took off his wig.
---
Alviss paced around in front of the building. Author and Story Nick were chuckling slightly, and the girls were talking (plotting Nick's doom for being so insensitive.)
The limo slowly pulled up, followed by a quick BONK. Kaori opened the door and smiled. She walked out and kissed Alviss quickly before walking up to the two Nick's.
"A-hem." She cleared her throat. The two Nick's faces scrunched up as they held back the laughter. "WHO IN THE HELL SET ME UP WITH PHANTOM?" She kicked Author Nick in the face and continued to stomp on him continuously as she pulled the limp form of Phantom out of the limo and started beating the other nick with him. The two Nick's continued to laugh as they were getting the piss beat out of them.
Erin walked out side with a smile and greeted Kaori; she glared at her and picked her up by the leg, using both bodies to beat up the Nick's.
"Uh… Kaori-chan?" Alviss said coyly as he walked up to her.
"Ok you!" Kaori yelled. "Next time you know I was set up with someone I hate-!" She dropped the two bodies. "COME SAVE ME!" She glomped him and started to kiss him longingly.
"See? I help strengthen their bond!" Author Nick got up and pointed out. The rest of the girls (Excluding Erin who was knocked the fuck out.) came out and started stomping on the poor author.
---
Lol, by the way, if you couldn't tell, Peta was the afroed guy. But he had NO part in the last story so I didn't bother actually revealing him.
On a side note, I truly, TRULY don't wanna hear anything about my sappiness. It's for the omake only! DO YOU HEAR ME?