Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy/ Bloodlines.

Chapter 12- The past comes back to haunt you

I woke up and Sydney was nowhere in sight. I still felt sore; the only thing that didn't was my mind and that was hardly there in the first place. The only thing I could think of was that Jill was dead. There wouldn't be this much pain or emptiness if she was just injured. Guilt soon rushed, when I fully understood. The meaning of this was more than I could handle. Last night she was hurt, this morning she is dead.

Sydney walked in the room, looking stressed out more than ever. She hadn't changed from the night before, and her hair looked like she was pulling on it. Her face had dried tear stains on her cheeks and her eyes were puffy.

"Hey, beautiful." I managed to say. She slightly smiles and sits next to me on the bed. She stared at the floor, playing with her fingers.

"What is wrong?" I reached from her hand and held it for a moment, before bringing it to my lips. She turned to me and I wouldn't say play with but that is kind of what she did. She took one of my fingers and like rolled in hers.

"You know, I love your hands…they fit perfectly in mine. 'Course they're bigger than mine, but they fit perfectly." She started rubbing the top of my hand and smiled to herself. I didn't know where she was getting at, so I just listened and watched.

"We got a 'secret' message while you were asleep." She looked up at me for a moment, before looking back down at our hands.

"Oh?"

"It was Eddie… Apparently your pain last night, when you thought Jill was in trouble" She paused and brought my hand to her face. Touching her cheek and rubbing it against my hand. This isn't her usual self, and I thought the worst like Jill dying.

"It wasn't just because she was in trouble, Adrian. She died last night. When the group against the Queen found out that they didn't need Jill they got mad… They took it out on the group that was bringing her home. Eddie fought as well as he could, but in the end there was too many of them." I closed my eyes and started hitting the bed.

"I should've been there for her. We shouldn't have let your sister get in the way of our happiness. Very least we should've brought Jill with us."

"You know we couldn't. Jill understood what needed to be done. She understood the consequence of you not being around to heal. All of us knew deep down, but we didn't expect this to happen this way. Eddie says, they caught most of the group who attacked them and they're being putting in prison. They're trying to get justice."

"That doesn't make up for Jill being dead."

"I know, Adrian. I know." She moved to lie next to me, and snuggled up close. I think she was trying to calm me down or in some way help me through this. I knew that could possibly be what happened, but the dought took over. I moved my other arm to place around her and brought her closer to me.

She is probably the best girlfriend out there. Even just being with her for a month and a half, I feel like I can live with her the rest of my life. I kissed the top of her head, and we stayed lying down for the rest of the day. No one from the village came to see us like they usually do. They let us be. I know I couldn't give Sydney the best date way out here. I wanted to show her how thankful and unbelievably happy I was that she was mine and I was hers. The only way to do that was through dream.

I was way too weak to try to do that tonight. I planned everything out in my head, this was going to happened tomorrow no matter if I was at full strength or not. The longer the day went, the more alive I felt. I could feel my body, and my mind was more there. It was dark by time I got full feeling of everything. I could still feel the emptiness of where Jill use to take the place of.

Sydney had fallen asleep long ago, and I was listening to her breathing. Her breathing always calms me down, and her just being here holds back the darkness. I started playing with her hair, twirling it with my finger.

"Adrian, what are you doing?" I looked up and saw Sydney, staring strangely at me. I look down at my chest and instantly got confused.

"Weren't you just…" Her eyebrows came together in confusion, she stepped towards me.

"I haven't been here, almost all day."

"I could've sworn." She placed her hand on my cheek. She used her thumb and rubbed my cheek.

"Adrian, it is okay. You've been through a lot. Just come back to me." I have no idea what she is saying I was already here. I feel perfectly fine, nothing is wrong with me. She moved closer and lightly touched my lips with hers and searched my eyes.

"Come back." I was still so confused. At what was happening, what I guess I imagined… Spirit. Spirit was the cause of this. When I realized it, it was all but easy to get out of it. I managed with the image of Sydney.

"I'm here." She smiled and kiss my cheek. I sit up and lean against the old bed post.

"Jill is dead. I can feel it." Sydney looks into my eyes, almost searching to see if the crazy was still there.

"I believe you. But Adrian I don't understand how you know that."

"The feeling, this feeling is more than Jill hurting. I am not for sure how I know she is dead for a fact, but I just do."

"Adrian, I believe you. You've never lied to me before. Now come on, let's get you walking around some." I moved my legs to the side of the bed, as she places her arm around my waist. Helping me up, and giving me some linage to walk.

"I've somehow imagine, me helping you walk sometime. Not the other way around." She slightly laughs and nods.

"Maybe that will happen someday." The more I walked around the more I was able to stand by myself. It was weird on how the more I moved the more I felt alive. Sydney, after what felt like thirty minutes, had told me to sit down. She did a spell to let Hopper out of his ruby cased cell. We played a while with him.

It's been weeks since I've had that dead heart attack. No one will tell me, but I can see it behind their eyes when I speak to them. They try and try to cover it up, but I can always see it. The last time I spoke to someone was two days ago and that was Rose. She confirmed that Dimitri has spoken to her about where Sydney and I were and they are getting everything ready for us. She hasn't told me exactly when they plan to get us out. But she has said that Lissa is getting some guardians to protect us, when we do leave. I hoped for the day, I get out of here. I've never wanted to be more around people than this. Living in this place is boring; I didn't realize how much I loved that world. Now it is just 'That world', I've become so use to this world it's the only thing I really know.

I was in the village, drinking the alcohol they make which isn't that bad. Sydney mentioned that she had to come to town to talk to some of the women here. It was her own project that she had created to keep herself busy. I do not know much about it, but I do know that it was like a family tree type thing about the town. Some of the guys around here as warmed up to the idea that Sydney and I might stay here. I've created some friends, most just wants to know how I got alchemist to leave her world a banned everything they believe in and run away with me.

I've just ignored those questions and continued about whatever the topic was before they would bring that up. The more I hanged out in the village the more attached I've became. They're nicer than the people in the old world… my old world. I do whatever I can to hold on to that world though. Try to talk to anyone I could think of, just to have a taste of it. And I hate just having a taste of it, I want more, I need more. Sydney and I were walking back to the cave, we now are supposed to call home by now. We just can't.

"We need to leave; I am tired of waiting for someone to come get us." I tell her when we get out of ear shot from everyone else.

"You know, as well as I do that we leave it leaves us vulnerable to everyone."

"Maybe we need to fight instead of run." She nods and reaches for my hand. Hand holding has become the most affectionate thing we have done since being here. We still know we how we feel each other, but this place has gotten to us. We reached the cave; one of the curtains was open. We paused before I went inside. What I saw wasn't what I had expected.

"Rose? Belikov? What… are we able to go home?" Sydney stepped inside and stood behind me. They were sitting at the kitchen table. They both were dressed in Jeans and t-shirts. They look like a regular couple to the world of the humans, Rose's clothes fit loose I could tell that much.

"Lissa and Christian have sent us to guard you. We will bring you home, to the palace, and live with Lissa and Christian until further notice." Belikov said, getting out of the chair and standing at attention.

"Home." I look down at the floor and smile. My hoping thought has come true and the day I wanted to run and forget this place. Kind of funny.

"So you're saying. We go to the Palace, be protected, and hope for everyone to let me and Adrian be?"

"You will surprise on how many of them, agree with this. They think it's good, they think you guys didn't break that big of a law, when she is an Alchemist and already knows about us. They do how ever think this will cause problems with the Alchemists who want her." Rose said, looking at Sydney the whole time.

"They think you're too far into this. No re-education for you, they think that won't help. They're surprise with you though. Your father has order that you simply be forgotten. Don't get us wrong, though we think they're planning on getting you back and doing the unspeakable. Sydney as long as you're with us, they won't get you." Rose had continued. She nod stood in front of Sydney, looking so intense. Sydney didn't look away though, she stared at Rose.

"Whatever it takes." From there, they helped us pack up. It wasn't much; we still had the clothing from before and hadn't gotten any clothing since we've been here. We did however take the cage, they wanted to leave it there but Sydney wouldn't allow it. We sneaked out of the woods into a car that was down the road. Rose said they didn't want to be seen by the village because it would've caused a huge problem with trying to get us out. Since we've been there so long, it's a hell of a try trying to get away. Sydney and I left a note though, pinned to the curtain if anyone was looking for us. It said we had some unfinished business to take care of at the Palace, and that we may never come back.

I have no idea why we had started calling it palace since Lissa has gotten in control. I guess courts were a little intimidating. Nobody spoke the whole way back to them. We were so nervous to begin with, a parentally a lot has changed in a few months that we didn't know about. Rose had caught us up with a lot of the new laws and which ones had been rethought and changed. And that there had seemed to be a large amount of Guardians coming or becoming guardians. Most come from out of the country, have their completion tattoo, but not the guardian tattoo, if they pass a curtain amount of test they become a full on guardian. I do not know what has people changing their mind about becoming one, but whatever it is I hope it stays.

When we had reached the Palace; Lissa, Christian, and Eddie were there to greet us home. They all seemed happy, that we were back and excited that Sydney was there too. Lissa and Christian had showed us to our apartment we would be living in for a while until things calm down with the alchemist. The apartment was a one bedroom apartment, with everything that we've messed since living with the keepers. We loved it, when we had gone to see the closet they were already packed with clothing for us. Most was from my parents' house that I had left there, and Sydney's looked more new. Like they knew her size and went shopping for her. Most consist of what she normally wears; there were few that had the bright colors. I knew she loved it. More and more everyday she is breaking out of her shell. Includes doing things she has never done before… colored clothes, and living with the keepers. Living so long without this, was an eye opener on how much we were willing to give up just being together. Now being back here, with proper pumping, electricity, and hell descent food was more than enough we could ask for.

"Rose and Dimitri's apartment is right in front of yours. This is only temporary, while we slowly let everyone know about you. The few of us that know support you. New ages, as you may. Until we feel no one will turn on us, they'll be protecting you. Following you and being there. All of us will have a meeting at lunch to catch you up on everything." Lissa said, sitting on the couch. I guess that is something, not that I am particularly happy that Belikov was going to guard me. But I trust totally in his abilities and Rose's.

"What if we know about everything?" Sydney questioned, placing her bag down.

"Trust me, you don't. Rose had permission to say things about certain things. There is more, and we will fill after you have a good enough meal. You'll understand." Christian said, standing next to Lissa. After a long look at each other, they got up and left. Not saying a word after. It wasn't like them to do that. Soon Rose came back in the room and stood at the door.

"Lunch is in a while. Why don't you guys shower, after that it'll be ready." We nod and Rose continues to stand there.

"Rose, you don't have to stand at the door like that… We can handle it." She smiles to herself, and shuts the door. Sydney took the shower first, and I stick everything we took with us in the washer. I set up the cage for Hopper in the closet and relaxed a bit. Sydney's hair has really grown some since we left, and her skin wasn't as light as it was. She had this prefect tan that went perfect with her eye and hair color. Now that dirt didn't cover it, you could tell. She walked out, as she towel dries her hair.

"Your turn." I smile and stayed where I was, watching her. She had blue jean shorts, a red tank, and black flip flops. She must've gotten them out of the closet because I knew that wasn't going to be in her personal clothing. I somehow managed to get up and shower myself. I didn't want to get out; feeling hot water on your body like this was amazing. When we were at the Keepers, it was more of a pond. They washed clothes in it, bathed, and of course used for cooking some times. The water was always cool, and if you wanted a hot shower you would've went in the middle of the village boil the water, and carry the water back to your home to get a descent shower alone. I was all okay with bathing in the pond, they had. That was too much work for something that ridiculous.

I walked out the shower and picked jeans and a regular t-shirt. Sydney was sitting on the couch flipping through channels, trying to catch something that seemed interesting. When I caught a glism of her face, the alchemist tattoo was gone and she had a little make up on. I didn't question it, but I knew it was time to eat and get caught up. Dimitri and Rose were standing outside the door when we opened it. Surprising us, I shook my head as they turned around.

"I think we have enough protection, when you guys are just across the hall. You do not have to stand at the door." They had moved to let us walk out the room. Rose locked the door and we followed them I guess since they'll be with us the whole time. They're the only ones who get keys. Turned out we weren't going far down the hall. A couple doors down, we walked into the dinner room. Lissa and Christian was already there sitting down. Rose and Dimitri sat next to them and Sydney and I took that to do the same.

It was silence until Lissa spoke. "Adrian, I know you know about Jill. I can't begin what it is like to lose a shadow kiss like that. We brought you here, because you're going to be an important person in my group from now on. Not just because of Spirit, you have real potential to do something. And Sydney we decided that you'll be our go to person when we need to talk to the alchemist. I WILL have two guardians with you at all times. You'll get to decide which ones, later on. We called because Rose has told me everything she mentioned in the car. All is true. We have one more thing to talk about." She took a deep breath and looked at Rose. Rose nods, and looks at Dimitri like they were all sending a signal amongst themselves.

"I am pregnant. Rose is pregnant, 'course the baby isn't yours." First thought was Duh.

-Untitled-

I woke up from the long dream I had seem to always have. It was a horrible memory, but one that constantly comes in my dreams. I stopped calling them dreams, though. Every time I have one it was more like I regretted what had to be done, and what happened to Jill. This memory was going to keep replaying itself to torture me, any chance it got. Sydney was lying next to me asleep, I looked over to the only window in the room and the sun was up. I got up and walked down stairs. Most of everyone was awake, talking and eating breakfast.

"Hey, Adrian we're leaving in a couple minutes to talk to that spirit- shadow kissed couple. It's only going to be us. Sydney, Eddie, and Emily are going to stay at the house and help Olena." Rose said as she hands me a cup of water.

"Don't forget the kids are coming to pick up Dylan and Mason to go shopping." Lissa said walking into the room. As they filled their stomachs, they waited until Zoya was ready to leave the house. We walked far, until we came to a tiny apartment that Dylan opened the door too. We waited as Paul, Dylan, and Mason ate before we left the apartment to I hoped go to the spirit couple.

I don't know exactly what we could learn from them after so long. Every little thing does count though, the view of the way we were talking as beautiful. Plants and just watching the surrounding area was beautiful. It wasn't much of a view, but coming from an artist it was. So many ideas had popped into my head while we walked, I couldn't even think straight on certain things. When we finally reached the place, I noticed when Mason 'met' Oksana and Mark it looked like they had already known each other. The kids had left and it was almost awkward.

"Rose, you're not shadowed kissed?" Oksana questioned sitting on the nearby chair.

"No. It's a long story. But we're not here to talk about shadow kissed people as much. Adrian and Lissa want to know about Spirit more. We haven't gotten far since the last time I talked to you."

"What powers do you two have?"

"I have healing, and with Adrian's help I kind of now how to read auras, that still difficult though." Lissa said, and they looked at me.

"Auras, dream walking, and healing. "

"Neither of you have tried to talk to people in their minds? Or make something die?" We looked at her strangely. She nods and Mark leaves then walks in with a plant. She places her hand above it, and slowly it start dying then soon it grew back to life.

"I spirit user had found their way to me, and his power… He could actually take a life and grant it. He told me how to do it. I do not like it, but it is fascinating. The mind talking, it started when Mark could hear my thoughts, then we work on to where he could hear mine. We tried before with talking to other people besides each other because we are bonded, it kind of works. But the other person has to be opened to it." Oksana had said all this, without moving her mouth and she lightly stared at us.

"Then how were you just talking to us?" Christian spoke up; I almost forgot he was with us.

"You see, all of you are bonded in one way or another. Spirit users could automatically speak to each other. Well, I to them, they're more opened. Then Rose was shadowed kiss, you are married to Lissa. Then Dimitri is to Rose. Once I get into one of your minds, I can use the connection to talk to all of you. It is a very difficult process. But sometimes worth it." I wasn't buying it, but it was happening right in front of us. I would have to, Oksana moved on from the question.

"I've heard a Dhampir was turned back, a few years ago. I also heard about Mason. I didn't know who he was, but rumor had it he was born from two Dhampirs. I just didn't expect I knew the Dhampirs. And you Lissa and Adrian. The old books, books most people haven't even heard of… Mention the child of a Spirit user has so much power, they're feared."

"Alex only has one power and that's Fire." Lissa mentioned, confused looking as hell. I think this woman was bogus, nothing coming out of her mouth sounded right.

"It's a new age, Queen. I know many things. After Rose left, Mark and I spent most of our days researching Spirit. There is more out there than you have realized. Some dating back to the first Spirit user."

"St. Vladimir." Rose nods, but Oksana shakes her head.

"No. Before him, it is more of an urban legion... There was a God, feared by all. Has all the powers we've have. Stories say; he had five children each born with Spirit just a light version of their fathers'. Each one had one main power, but every single one had every power. They just had to work to have what their father did. A war became to the God to kill his children. The god sent out the children all over the world. Over time, it has ended with each child born of Spirit has a light version than the one before them. All Spirit users come from this God."

"Bull." I say. I haven't token the chance to sit down like everyone in the room did. Oksana dismissed me.

"Why was there war?" Rose asked, hanging on to every word she was saying.

"Well, the God and his children had twisted minds. Their power was so great it crowded their judgment, making them crazy. It is like ours, just think ten times worst. The followers knew they had to knock the god out of his position and kill the heirs, before the darkness became of the world. The god had sent the children before the followers killed the God. It was not specific on how they did it." I rolled my eyes, and looked down before looking up at her ceiling. As they continued their conversation about this god, I took the chance to sneak out. I didn't know anyone ever followed me out the door. I walked my way around the house, before I saw this garden. I looked over my shoulder when the stepping behind me stopped. It was Mark; he stared at the garden with me.

"You lost your shadow kiss. I can sense the place where she once was. Oksana can too, it is not Like Rose's and Lissa's this one is more damaged, then a clean cut. Per say."

"She died, years ago."

"Sorry to hear. But you really need to be listening to what Oksana and I found out."

"It seems like crap to me."

"Then, I'll tell you the short version." He sat down and crossed his legs not once looking up at me. I did the same; he was still facing the garden so I just followed the flow.

"You see. Spirit Users each have their own Shadow kiss person. One that is meant to be, if you had one that didn't fit I don't know. But you can just tell, if they fit. Also, you and Lissa are the only two people we have heard of that are a spirit user and have a child. Spirit users have so much trouble; it's like a Dhampir and a Dhampir. It's impossible, she was just telling you guys, because it might be true. The God's children each raised someone from the dead to help make an army to their father, but instead each one started getting less and less… Crazy. There are more stories about the 'right' shadow kiss as you wouldn't really feel them or that everything will just become easier and you'll be less likely to go crazy. The darkness wouldn't affect the shadow kiss much. They would still probably see ghost, and maybe have a darkness moment. But with the right Shadow Kiss, you wouldn't go crazy. If you don't mind me asking, how are you NOT crazy?"

"Lissa heals me from time to time. When my Shadow kiss died, I was out of it for days until Sydney helped as I was always drunk to escape... As for the children I know, for me it isn't true. My child is a Dhampir, born from a human. No extra power she will have." He didn't have anything to say; he did look over when Zoya was running up to the house, with most everyone following.