A/N. I love the reviews you guys have given me. It makes me so happy, knowing you guys really like what I write. I hope I never disappoint you wonderful people. :D
Shameless plug –read my other stories HAHAHA. My other ongoing fic is The Haunting of Hermione Granger.
Chapter time now.
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Draco stood outside Professor Snape's door, looking apprehensively at the doorknob. He knew his Legilimency lessons were not yet officially over, though they had been having them less and less. He wondered why Snape had suddenly decided to tell him personally, and why he had emphasized the word "practice." He wondered if Snape had heard or seen something about what he'd done to Hermione. He wondered a lot of things. Finally, knowing it was inevitable, he opened the door and stepped inside. Snape was nowhere to be seen. Draco hesitated, then sat down. Perhaps the Potions Master had forgotten?
"I see you have managed to make it on time tonight, Draco. Perhaps Potter's sullen attitude isn't rubbing off on you after all." Draco jumped as Snape suddenly emerged from an alcove off to the side. "Now, before we start, your father would like me to discuss something with you."
"My father?" Draco blinked. He hadn't known his father had been in correspondence with Snape. His father had barely written to him during the school year. "What does my father want?"
"Your father," Snape said, idly running his fingers over the potion bottles lining the shelves of his office, "would like to know if you have been putting your Legilimency lessons to good use. If you recall, at the beginning of your lessons, we discussed that you would use them to infiltrate the minds of Potter, Weasely, Granger, and any of their friends, in order to retrieve useful information. Thus far, you have not reported anything. Lucius has asked me remind you of your mission here at Hogwarts, and how there is much at stake, especially if you should… fail." Snape eyed Draco with obvious disdain.
"I know what is at stake," Draco forced through clenched teeth. Of course. It was just like his father to say something like that. His father, who was desperate to restore honor and power and fear to the family name, who would willingly crawl in the mud and kiss the hem of the Dark Lord's robes if it would mean being granted his favor. His father, pathetic and weak. Draco had sworn, before returning to Hogwarts to fulfill his mission, that he would never be like his father, would never grovel or blindly obey. And after his recent revelations, his distaste for the man had grown.
Snape suddenly whipped around and stalked over to Draco. He grabbed Draco's chin, forcing his head up. Dark eyes bore into stormy gray ones. "Then perhaps you would care to do what the Dark Lord commanded you to do, Draco, before he gives you a reminder personally."
Draco jerked his face out of Snape's hand. "Fine," he spat, glaring at his House Head.
"Now then, since we have settled that matter, draw your wand." Snape moved to the other end of the room. "Let us see if you have improved."
Draco stood, anger constricting his chest, his breaths coming out of him in spurts. He couldn't stand any more of these expectations, these demands they were all making of him. His father, Snape, the Dark Lord… All they ever did was push him around and expect him to fill the roles they laid out for him. His hand clenched around his wand, his eyes fixed on the overgrown bat standing before him, acting as if he were dealing with a petulant five-year-old.
"Do not look at me like that, Draco," Snape said, his voice growing threateningly soft. "This is your job. You signed up for this-"
"I did not." Draco cut across Snape, his anger getting the better of him. "I did not sign up for this. My father made me agree to take this mission, all because he's made our name into mud-"
"You made that choice, Draco. I cannot pretend that it was a wise decision, but it was still yours to make and thus it is your responsibility-"
"MY FATHER TORTURED ME INTO THIS DECISION," Draco roared, losing all semblance of control. "Did he tell you that? Did he tell you he used the Cruciatus on me, because I didn't want this? My own father used an Unforgivable Curse on me, his own son, all because he cocked up and now the Dark Lord doesn't want to play with him anymore and-"
"Your father is doing this for your family-"
"His family?" Draco burst into mocking, manic laughter. "He's not doing this for his family. My father could care less about my mother, and he gave me up without a second thought, all so icky Voldy-kins would let him back into the playground-"
"Do not speak of the Dark Lord in that way, Draco-"
"LEGILIMENS!" Draco bellowed, pointing his wand straight at Snape's heart. He didn't know what made him do it. All he knew was that he wanted to break the man standing in front of him, get into his head and probe into his deepest secrets, cause him pain somehow, because Snape did not understand, Snape hadn't been there when Draco saw his father raise that cobra-headed wand and silently curse his own son, torture him into agreeing to this stupid mission. Snape didn't see Draco being forced to atone for a foolish man's mistakes; no, everyone saw this as an honor. Well it was an honor Draco could do without. And as for his father, with his elitist ideals and desperate desires… Draco had no yearning to emulate that weak, pathetic man, not anymore. Never again would he look up to his father the way he had before.
Draco's attack had caught Snape off guard, but Snape was still an excellent Occlumens. Their minds warred with each other; Draco's trying to get in, Snape's trying to keep him out. Draco snarled, trying to push the barrier further, make it snap. He could not be weak, not like his father. The thought of his father caused a fresh surge of anger and Draco pushed and pushed –and Snape's eyes widened and Draco felt the barrier snap-
He was standing between library shelves, watching a pretty red-haired girl laugh with her friends, feeling a pang of longing in his heart-
Draco felt Snape begin to push him back, force him out of his mind-
He was 11 years old and in Malfoy Manor. His father was yelling at him for having gotten into trouble at school with Potter and his friends-
Draco growled low in his throat and pushed back-
Laughter filled the air around him. He was hanging upside down as a boy with untidy hair and hazel eyes taunted him, a good-looking boy barking with laughter at his feet-
Snape narrowed his eyes and Draco felt the barrier rebuilding-
Light poured in through the window of the storeroom as he struggled to perform a simple healing charm on his bruised ribs, but his eyes were tearing up and he couldn't read the spell right, and his father's words were still ringing in his ears-
Draco tried to force himself back into Snape's head, but the defenses were already coming up. The advantage he had gotten from his surprise attack was diminishing as Snape pushed him further out of his head, but fury was still on Draco's side-
Darkness was falling. He was cowering in a corner, while a man hit a sobbing woman with a book. There was the smell of alcohol in the air-
But fury wasn't enough and Draco felt himself thrust out of Snape's head-
Warm brown eyes were smiling up at him. Light filtered through the yellow curtains and there was laughter in the air and Draco's heart was lighter than it had ever been in his entire life-
"NO!" Draco wrenched his mind away with a shout. He staggered backward, collided with the chair, and fell over. He didn't even notice the pain that shot through his hip. His mind was panicking. Had Snape seen that last memory? Had he felt the happiness, the lightness that Draco hadn't fully comprehended yet? Fearfully, he looked up. Snape's face was impassive, but his dark eyes glinted.
Not looking at the professor, Draco got up, wincing. For a moment, he stood there, looking at his feet, at the stones of the floor, anywhere but Snape. He didn't know what to expect, but for the first time in his life he was genuinely afraid of the man standing before him. What if he had seen –or worse, recognized the brown hair and eyes that had made the thing in his ribcage –his heart– so…happy?
"The lesson is over, Draco." The voice was quiet, emotionless. Draco's heart pounded in his chest. Without looking up, he wrenched the door open and fled.
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Draco's footsteps echoed in the empty corridors, though the beating of his heart seemed, to him, to be much, much louder. Not wanting to return to his House in the state he was in, he simply ran through the castle, letting his feet take him where they would. Hurt and anger and confusion welled up inside him –from the thought of his father, from the memory of her eyes, from the way Snape had looked at him when he had been sprawled on the floor, and from everything he had ever gone through the past 16 years. His chest felt tight and suddenly he wished he had never returned to Hogwarts, had never given in to his father's demands, had never agreed to become a Death Eater. But more than that, he wished he had never delved into the mind of that Gryffindor girl, had never witnessed the sadness in her life. He wished he had never learned to care about her.
Draco hurtled around a corner and collided into something warm and solid. He stumbled backward, almost fell. He looked up, prepared to lash out at whoever it was that had blocked his way, when his gray eyes met brown ones. Hermione. She was standing, her hand clutching a nearby suit of armor, probably to arrest her fall. She stared down at him, just as surprised as he was. Her warm brown eyes filled with shock, then annoyance, then concern as she studied him. Something about her eyes made something in Draco snap, and abruptly he threw his arms around her and broke into sobs. Hermione's eyes widened, and for a moment they just stood there, she with her arms held slackly at her sides, confused, and he with his arms around her neck, sobbing uncontrollably. But as his tears began to soak through her robes, Draco felt a slender pair of arms wrap around his waist, and heard a soft voice whisper, "sshhh." The two of them stood there, holding each other, and for once Draco didn't care that a Malfoy does not cry.
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A/N. So… what do you guys think? Is this chapter weird? Is the plot going bad? Is the romance tickling your fangirl bones? Are you still even reading? (Haha.) Let me know through reviews, please and thank you!