I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation
You're living in the past, it's a new generation
A girl can do what she wants to do and that's what I'm gonna do
An' I don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation
Oh no, not me
Joan Jett - Bad Reputation

Freddie POV:
It's been a week since the party at Wendy's. My relationship with Carly is over. Sam and I aren't talking. I called her once and she said Carly hurt her and she didn't want to give anyone else a chance to do the same. What happened at the party is all over Splashface. Sam is taunted on the internet and called promiscuous. This could ruin iCarly. The show has been cancelled temporarily.

I personally have no recollection of that night. I didn't even drink that much. Someone did film a portion of it and posted it. All you can hear is Carly calling Sam names and Jonah talking about Sam refusing to sleep with him but being with Pete and myself. What the hell happened? Carly claims Sam and I were on a bed about to have sex. We aren't ready for that. Sam is no hoe. All I can remember is vomiting anywhere.

Today I'm going to speak with Carly. She's been avoiding me. I live across the hall, but I never see her. She never answers her phone or replies to my texts. She's never home anymore according to Spencer. It's about 9:00 am. I woke up early to catch her before she can escape. I knock on the door and a voice responds. "Who is it?" It's Spencer.
"Freddie."
"Doors unlocked." I open the door and greet him.
"Hey. Is Carly here?"
"Yeah. She was about to go shopping. CARLY!" He calls for her and she answers.
"WHAT?!"
"COME DOWN STAIRS!"
"COMING!" She charges down the stairs wearing a red top and black skirt. She sees me and says, "oh, it's you." Her voice is monotone.
"We need to talk." It sounds like we're breaking up. We already did that.
"No we don't."
"I'm worried about Sam." She laughs as if its the funnies thing she's ever heard.
"Why would I care about your mistress?" I am super confused.
"What are you talking about?"
"I know about you affair with Sam. I know you only broke up with me because I wouldn't put out." I stare at blankly. Carly really doesn't know anything.
"Sam and I never had an affair."
"Really? Explain to me why the night our relationship ended, you had your tongue down her throat."
"All because we kissed doesn't mean we were having an affair," I state.
"Are you telling me it was meaningless like your first kiss with her? I don't believe that."
"You're right it does mean something."
"Yeah. It means Sam is easy and has violated girl code."
"Sam is not easy. I kissed Sam because I love her." You should have seen the look on her face. Carly is pissed!
"You LOVE her! You were MY boyfriend!"
"We don't click romantically. Our relationship is more platonic."
"I loved you."
"Maybe as a brother but not as a lover."
"You're WRONG."
"Do you still think about Griffen?" I ask.
"Yes but-"
"Do you think about being with other people?" I interrupted her answer.
"Sometimes but-"
"Do you check your phone regularly to see if I called?" I cut her off again.
She hesitates before answering, "no."
"Do you day-dream about me?"
"No."
"Does your heart beat faster when I'm near or blush when I speak to you?"
"No."
"Do you love me?"
"I don't think so anymore."She pauses and then continues, "You don't love me. I don't love you. You love Sam." Her voice is soft and almost like a whisper. "How did this happen?"
"She's crazy. She's drives me nuts. Sam pumps my adrenaline. She makes me smile and laugh like no other. Her opinions and thoughts fascinate me."
"You two always fight."
"We never fight. We bicker and disagree. We like debating. It's never fighting. We never mean the cruel things we say. I understand her and she gets me."
Carly shakes her head. "I'm not sure how I feel about this. You being with her could end up in flames similar to almost anything Spencer touches." She giggles softly. "The sad truth is Sam has no plans after high school. She might end up no where. You might have to leave her behind when you go off to college."
"I would NEVER leave her. I'm NOT her father."
"If she loves you, she'd want you to leave. Your dreams would be more important to her. This won't end well."
"I'm sorry you were hurt, Carly. I have more faith in my love for Sam than anything." I turn to leave her apartment. Sam may be trying to dodge me. I'll wait to see her where she can't avoid me: school.

Sam POV:

The audition is taking place at Ridgeway High School. I walk onto the stage of the auditorium. Mel's boarding school sent four representatives to watch me. One has a camera and is filming. I'm wearing a black dress with an A-line silhouette with a breezy skirt. It also has a delicately ruched bodice as well as an illusion sweetheart neckline and sheer, lightweight mesh swathes. My hair is to the side in a ponytail.
"State your full name and song choice," An unidentified voice commanded.
"My name is Samantha Puckett and I will be performing Roots Before Branches by Room For Two," I answer. The music starts and I begin to sing.

"So many things
To do and say
But I can't seem
To find my way
But I wanna know how
I know
I'm meant
For something else
But first
I gotta find myself
But I don't know how"

I have to be on my own. Who am I without Carly and Freddie? I can forgive Carly for her assumptions she was brokenhearted. With Freddie I begin to wonder if love is even real. All my feelings for Freddie have brought me was pain and complications.

"Oh, why do
I reach for the stars
When I don't have wings
To carry me that far?"

I'm not ready for love. Neither is Freddie or Carly. Carly doesn't know what love is but she was willing to declare her "love" for aren't ready for these feelings. As teenagers we don't know how to handle such emotions. Sometimes I wanna strangle Freddie, but other times I just want him to hold me close like that day dancing in the rain.

"I gotta have
Roots before branches
To know who I am
Before I know
Who I wanna be
And faith
To take chances
To live like I see
A place in this world
For me"

All my life I've seen men cause hurt in pain. My father broke my family and in a way, he broke me. I'm not the same carefree girl I once was. I have the same spontaneous nature and will power as well as creativity. I'm not as strong as I used to be emotionally, not physically (Freddork can attest to that).

"Sometimes
I don't wanna feel
And forget the pain
Is real
Put my head
In the clouds
Oh, start to run
And then I fall
Seein'
I can't get it all
Without my feet
On the ground"

I'm not an honest person. I'm a liar and I even taught Spencer how to lie successfully. It's a lie every time someone calls me fearless. I do have a fear. I fear rejection and getting hurt. I've seen what it did to my mom. Her body belongs to the worthless men who neglect her and use her sexually. She turns to alcohol for relief. I don't want to be that.

"There's always a seed
Before there's a rose
The more that it rains
The more I will grow"

I have to grow and be mature before I can have a serious relationship. I'm a tough girl who is street smart. Most people only view me as an aggressive girl who like to eat unhealthy all the time with crazy awesome metabolism. I am more than that. I hope I am more than that. Maybe I'm not. I will grow to be more. I have to learn right from wrong without having Carly or Freddie as a compass.

"I gotta have
Roots before branches
To know who I am
Before I know
Who I wanna be
And faith
To take chances
To live like I see
A place in this world
For me"

Sometimes I'm afraid of myself and who I am. Violence is almost the definition of who I am. My mom's boyfriends get rough with her so often I don't know what is considered normal. Am I destined to be treated that way? Am I going to repeat the cycle? I'm not like perfect little Melanie. I can develop into someone willing to succeed. I have to figure out what it is I'm going to do for the rest of my life. No one ever taught me to be ambitions considering they saw me as a failure next to my sister.

"Whatever comes
I know how to take it
Learn to be strong
I won't have to fake it
Oh, you're understandin'
Oh, but when you come
And do it best
There ain't nothin'
To stoppin' east to west
But I'll still
Be standing
I'll be standing"

All my life I thought I was destined to fail. I believed the words of my teachers and my mother. My own mother believes I'll end up all alone. I might if I continue to not see clearly. I need to comprehend consequences. Who wants to be with someone with no goals? Who wants someone who doesn't have a future? I will have a future.

"I gotta have
Roots before branches
To know who I am
Before I know
Who I wanna be
And faith
To take chances
To live like I see
A place in this world"

Leaving for boarding school is a direct result of what has happened to my friendship with Carly and Freddie. Though it is an awful reasoning, it's the best choice. I can be free from the chains of Seattle. I don't have to end up in jail. This is an opportunity to better myself. I don't need to solve problems with my fist. This school will show me how. Then I can finally be on everyone else's level. i don't have to be less than.

"I gotta have
Roots before branches
To know who I am
Before I know
Who I wanna be
And faith
To take chances
To live like I see
A place in this world
For me"

Abandoning my former home makes me think of my father. He wanted to chase his dreams, but I wouldn't be surprised to find him in prison. I am capable of breaking boundaries. I'm not running away from my responsibilities like him. I'm not running away from my family or the people who love me. My mother could care less and she just wants to be free of having me around. Then she can have more sleep overs with her lovers. My friendship with Carly is over. My relationship with Freddie is toxic. It's destined to explode.

"I gotta have

Roots before branches"

If I were to return, I'll have to be better and stronger than before. I'm not changing who I am. I will always be creative and sarcastic with a quick wit. I'll always be argumentative and stubborn. I need to control myself and gain insight on the world. I refuse to be oblivious to the future that is steadily approaching. I'm going to set goals and I am going to meet them. I can't do that at Ridgeway especially with the gossip I would have to endure from the party. If I truly love Freddie now, I always will.

AN: One more chapter. This is it. Are you ready? Review if you're excited! I'm still mapping out that sequel. Any title ideas? PM me for sequel ideas.