South Park © T. Parker and M. Stone. Ella Tweak belongs to me.
This chapter is primarily dedicated to Hell. Shameless references to Dante's "Divine Comedy", Virgil's "Aeneid" and various Greek myths are contained within, all of which have been bent to suit my own warped ideas.
There aren't too many chapters left in this particular story, but the second "book" is already churning in my head. It should include a significantly less supernatural story (although Kenny is always an exception), Christmas, changing schedules, Bebe's Super Sweet 16 and a spring play. (That drabbley thingie I wrote in "Seven Deadly Sins: South Park Style!" for Doomed-Orange-Parka's Lucky Day gave me sooo many ideas. Woo!) Hopefully I can persuade some of my infinitely awesome OC's to come back and join the Tweak siblings for more South Park randomness.
Ramble over, now go to Hell…
*
"I'm hungry." Clyde Donovan reminded everyone. "And cold."
Contrary to popular belief, Hell was not entirely consumed by flames. The plateau before the great walled city of Dis was frigid, with stiff winds that blew always in your face. In Hell, the wind is never at your back. Never. Clyde, who had the misfortune to die wearing only his blue underpants, was colder than the rest.
"Shut up, fatass." Christophe growled, his eye twitching from nicotine withdrawal.
"Ay! I'm not fat, I'm big-boned, you goddamn Frenchie!" Clyde snapped.
Tweek mumbled something that was lost on the wind.
In the lead, Kenny McCormick became acutely aware of how Stan Marsh must feel, and must have felt for years. The urge to pinch the bridge of his nose was overwhelming, but he squashed it and pressed on, the wind blowing his cornsilk hair back from his face.
"We're almost there. I know it looks far, but it's closer than you think." Kenny pointed to the great city with the tip of his sword. Goddammit. That's something Stan would say.
The City of Dis, city of the damned, dominated the landscape. A massive cylinder of black stone with clawlike turrets, Dis housed some of Hell's most vile sinners and unfortunately, Kenny reminded himself, the key to bringing everyone home.
"We've been walking for days." Clyde said wearily.
"Hours, actually." Kenny said with strained patience. "Speaking of which, I have about twelve hours before I'm restored to my body. We need to press on, unless you'd like to spend the rest of eternity right here, sans tacos."
"And cigarettes." Christophe said mournfully.
"Lattes." Tweek chimed in.
Clyde nodded and shouldered his spear, picking up the pace and passing Christophe.
Christophe, who had become increasingly irritable over the past several hours, was in no mood to be passed up by the 'fat kid' and thus a race to the city gates began.
Clyde, who had the benefit of not having chain smoked since he was eight years old, was able to keep a slight lead, laughing as he ran.
Christophe panted "No… you… don't, you fat beet-" A chilling scream came from behind them. Christophe skidded to a stop and turned. Clyde wheeled around and came up beside him.
"Oh my God" Tweek shouted. "It killed Kenny!"
'It' was at least seven feet tall. It snarled, rows of sharklike teeth gnashing as it unfurled wings of smoke and flame. Kenny lay at its feet, his thin body sadly torn, one blue eye staring, one socket empty. Christophe could feel his hair standing on end as the beast turned towards Tweek.
"You bastard!" Tweek shouted and charged the beast, mace in hand. He struck a swift but glancing blow that skidded off the demon's chest. Enraged, Tweek redoubled his effort, swinging blindly.
The sight of the small boy tackling the huge demon was almost comical, but once Clyde recovered from his shock he too charged, his spear aloft, into the fray.
Tweek gasped as the creature plucked the mace out of his hands and flung it farther than he could see. He took a step back as the beast raised a massive pincered hand. Tweek squinched his eyes shut and waited for the blow, but it never came. He cracked an eye open and found Christophe and Clyde standing in front of him, shovel and spear at the ready.
During the melee that ensued, Tweek could just make out the flashing point of Clyde's spear or the dull thud of The Mole's shovel as the two boys desperately tried to overpower the lumbering creature. At last, Clyde's spear caught the beast between the ribs and he put all his weight behind the thrust.
The demon screamed, enraged, and thrashed as viscous black blood spurted from the wound. It staggered back, the spear still lodged in its side. Christophe looked at Clyde in amazement. His mouth moved to praise him when the beast charged and seized Clyde, lifting him off the ground and shaking him violently. Tweek turned and vomited at the sound of Clyde's ribs snapping one by one.
The demon laughed, a filthy guttural sound. It lowered Clyde toward its mouth, teeth bared and then stopped.
A gleam of silver burst through the creature's chest, splitting its sternum with a sickening crunch. The demon gave a final, ear-splitting scream and burst into a cloud of smoke, a whiff of sulfur and disappeared, spear and all, leaving Clyde hanging in midair for a split second before he crashed to the ground.
Tweek rushed to help Clyde to his feet as a huge gust of air carried the smoke away. Standing with his sword raised was Kenny, one-eyed, grim-faced.
"Mon dieu…" Christophe said. "You were dead."
Kenny sheathed the sword and sighed. "This is Hell. There are 86,400 seconds in a day. You can die every second of every day here and still get up to die again."
*
Tweek walked alongside Clyde as they climbed the seemingly endless, polished stone staircase in the outer ring of the dark city. Clyde staggered at first, but stood straighter as the minutes ticked by. He tried to explain the sensation of feeling your own ribs knitting themselves together and failed spectacularly.
"Like crawling under my skin." Clyde said with a shrug.
Tweek nodded, his pale green eyes fixed on Kenny, who seemed to be managing well. The tall blonde boy improvised an eye patch by tearing a long strip from his dress shirt and he was back in the lead again, his head down. Tweek knew he was looking at the picture of Ella again, even though Kenny seemed to think he was being sly. If we actually find a way out, I'll owe him a great deal – but I don't think I'll owe him Ella. He'd have to understand. Nobody would want someone like him hanging around their sister.
Kenny tucked the picture of Ella back in his shirt pocket, missing her smile the instant he did so. The others were quiet behind him. Even Christophe, who could argue about anything, simply brought up the rear, humming "La Marseillaise" as he did so. Kenny's entire body cried out for rest, but he pushed on until he reached a landing in front of one of the impressive and sinister looking turrets. A large, wooden door, carved with animals, flowers and fruit stood before him, looking strangely out of place against the sinister dark stone. He turned and faced the others.
"When we enter, don't eat anything." Kenny said, looking at each of them in turn.
"Is there food inside?" Clyde said hopefully, a large growl from his stomach emphasizing the question.
"Don't eat anything." Kenny repeated. "Not a bite."
The other boys agreed grudgingly and Kenny turned back to the door, running his fingers over the intricate carvings. His hand lingered on a pomegranate, carved with such delicacy that it looked edible. He applied light pressure and the door clicked and swung open.
Tweek followed Kenny inside and blinked, his eyes widening. A slim, pale girl that looked to be his own age sat on a wooden throne twined with delicate apple blossoms. Her pale golden curls were pulled up and held in place with a filigree silver crown. She sat munching a bowl of popcorn, her eyes fixed on a 52 inch plasma screen TV situated on the wall opposite. From the snippets of conversation pulsing from the surround sound, she appeared to be watching a soap opera. He watched as Kenny approached and bowed deeply.
The girl turned as Kenny approached, looking irritated. She then tossed aside her remote and approached the lanky blonde.
"Kenny!" she exclaimed in a voice that was painful in its sweetness and resonance.
"Persephone." Kenny smiled and patted her back as she hugged him. "How have you been?"
"The same as always." The girl said with a shrug. "It's been a while. You're very tall." She peered around him. "You brought friends!" Persephone stepped around Kenny and greeted each of the boys in turn.
"Christophe Moliere." She pecked the Frenchman on the cheek by way of greeting, ignoring his look of surprise as she called him by name without introduction.
Persephone stood in front of Clyde, taking in his relative nakedness and giving him an approving smile. "Clyde Donovan." She walked around him, examining him closely. "Very nice."
Tweek smiled hesitantly as the strange girl approached him and let out a small squeak as she hugged him tightly. She smelled like the breeze that stirred the blossoming trees in spring. Her blonde curls were like Ella's.
"Tobin Tweak." Persephone gave him an extra squeeze before releasing him. "Stay a while." She addressed all of them, and then gestured to a table that appeared behind them where the door had been.
Tweek turned and saw more food in one place that he'd ever seen in his life. Mounds of glistening fruit spilled over bowls, towers of cakes were piled atop one another, an enormous platter of tacos was displayed prominently and best of all – large steaming lattes sat in orderly rows, like soldiers. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Clyde surge towards the table, only to be caught by Christophe and yanked back.
"No thank you." Kenny broke the spell and turned to Persephone. "We came to seek an audience with you."
Persephone blinked. "You mean like – officially?" She asked, resuming her perch on her throne. "Proceed then."
Kenny stepped forward and cleared his throat. "I want to return to the world of the living. And I want to bring them with me."
Persephone shook her head. "No. Nobody leaves this place. You know that." She held up a slim hand. "You're one of the rare exceptions Kenny. You know the rules." She addressed the three boys standing behind Kenny. "I'm sorry."
Tweek felt his eyes sting and looked over at Clyde, who was sniffing. Christophe stood like a stone, staring at the young queen.
Kenny suppressed the urge to scream. He cleared his throat and started again. "Persephone. I know it is within your power to do this. He dug in his shirt pocket and produced the picture of Ella. "This girl is suffering as we speak. She aches at the loss of her brother." He gestured towards Tweek.
Persephone examined the picture with an odd expression and then handed it back to Kenny. "I'm sorry. I did do what you ask of me now once, a very long time ago." She sighed. "But he ignored my instructions, and it didn't end well." She shrugged, turning her eyes back to the television.
"Oh for fuck's sake!" Christophe pushed past Kenny and stood in front of the young queen, blocking her view of the TV. "Zis is reediculous! Why you can't help? Huh? You think dat Satan gives a sheet?!" he stomped a booted foot in outrage. "He 'as gay married some asshole! He doesn't love you, you silly beetch! Look at zis!" He flailed his arm wildly, indicating the room. "Look where he 'as put you!" Christophe ran a hand through his thick brown hair, standing it on end. "He stole you from your mozzer so long ago, and now you're going to sit here and allow his bastard stepchild to take zis boy-" Christophe gestured towards Tweek with his shovel "-away from his mozzer, his seester!" The Frenchman moved closer, his face contorted with fury. "You fucking beetch! You 'eartless we-"
Persephone stood swiftly and cut off Christophe in mid-sentence with a forceful, almost violent, kiss.
Christophe's face struggled to remain outraged, but as Persephone's kiss became more insistent he faltered and succumbed to her passionate embrace.
Kenny looked away, embarrassed, as the shared kiss intensified. He saw Tweek taking a sudden interest in his feet and frowned as Clyde inched towards the tacos.
Persephone came up for air at last and nodded to Kenny. She attempted to extricate herself from Christophe's arms. After a few more kisses and a heated exchange in French, she succeeded. She beckoned and Kenny followed.
Tweek watched, awestruck, as Christophe came to stand beside him looking enormously pleased with himself. Kenny and Persephone conversed for a few minutes and then she placed something in his hands.
Kenny rejoined the group. "Follow me. Whatever you do, after we leave this place – don't look back until we've reached the surface." The others agreed without protest and Kenny turned back to Persephone who gestured toward a newly appeared archway. Kenny squeezed her hand and then stepped through.
Tweek followed next and gave her a little bow, which she returned with a curtsey. Clyde imitated this and swore he felt her checking him out again as he followed Tweek.
Christophe paused by the arch, a bit flustered. "Well.. I guess zis is goodbye."
"For now." Persephone said. "But I'll see you again in twenty one years."
Christophe nodded as if this made sense, and then his brown eyes widened. "How…?" he asked.
"Covert operation in Tunisia." She said with a faint smile.
"Twenty-one years?" he said, kissing her hand.
"For you, it's a long time – for me, it's tomorrow." She replied, ruffling his hair. "Go catch up, before I change my mind."
*
The journey to the world of the living proved less arduous, but was not without incident. The encounter with Cerberus, the three-headed hellhound, while terrifying at the time, provided ample amusement after the four boys were safely on their way again. Kenny had forgotten about Christophe's intense hatred of guard dogs. This, combined with his repeated cries of "Sheet!", only served to anger Cerberus, who hated intruders, even further. Disaster was narrowly averted thanks to Clyde who found a rather large stick and flung it as far as he could. The massive slavering beast chased it like a puppy, allowing the distraught party to pass into the cave beyond without incident.
After a couple hours climb, his eyes fixed ahead of him, Kenny stepped out into the frosty night air and blinked. They were back, at last, in South Park.
"There's a hidden entrance to Hell in the True Value parking lot?" Clyde said, shivering in the frigid December air.
"I had no idea…" Kenny said and then turned to the three boys standing next to him. "Um…"
Christophe was the first to come forward. He shook Kenny's hand and clapped him on the back. "Merci beaucoup. Any time you need Ze Mole, you only 'ave to ask." He holstered his shovel, nodded at the others and disappeared into the night.
Clyde nodded at Kenny. "Thanks dude. I'll see you at school. We'll get some tacos sometime." He too departed, shivering in his underwear. Fortunately, his house was a mere block from the True Value.
Tweek watched Clyde go and then looked at Kenny. He wanted to tell him how grateful he was, but couldn't find the words.
Kenny looked at the slight boy, still clad in the pajamas he died in, feet bare. Tweek would have a long walk.
"Come on then." Kenny said, turning his back to Tweek and crouching. "Climb on. You'll get frostbite if you walk all that way. That would suck, considering what we've been through to get you back here."
Tweek hesitated, but then climbed on Kenny's back, winding his arms around the taller boy's neck.
Kenny stood, surprised at how light Tweek was. He was pretty sure his schoolbag weighed more. He carried the smaller boy in silence through the quiet streets. He caught glimpses of flickering televisions in cozy living rooms as he passed house after house. Terrance and Philip were on, which would make it about 10 o'clock. He stopped outside the Tweak house. The living room window glowed, and though the curtains were partially closed, Kenny caught a glimpse of a despondent looking Ella seated between her parents on the couch.
Tweek slid off Kenny's back and looked up at the taller boy.
"Thanks Kenny." He said simply and headed up the walk to his house and slipped in the front door.
Kenny watched him go, and then broke into a smile as he heard a chorus of screams within, Ella's rising above them all. He turned to go, and then stopped and looked up at Ella's bedroom window. He retrieved the picture of Tweek from his wallet and hoisted himself into the oak tree on the front lawn.
*
It was well past 2 a.m. when Ella finally said goodnight to her brother and headed to bed. Though tired, her step was so light. Her heart brimmed with gratitude and she was determined to find a way to thank Kenny McCormick. She tossed her blue robe over a chair and pulled back her covers. Lying on the pillow was the picture of Tweek she'd taken on the family vacation to the Grand Canyon last summer. Underneath it was her open bible, a verse from the Song of Solomon circled in red.
Like a lily among thorns is my darling among the maidens.
*
Whew. I find myself apologizing more and more for the length of my chapters. Sorry guys! There's so much junk in this chappy, I can't even remember all the references at this point.
The bible verse above is from the Song of Solomon 2:2. That entire chapter is pretty freakin sweet. Anyway. Lily among thorns = "lilium inter spinas" in Latin.
Clyde being referred to as "the fat kid" amongst the four is taken from the episode "Cartman's Silly Hate Crime" where he's referred to as the 'second fattest kid in class'. He looks pretty normal to me.. so I reckon he's actually just big boned for real.
So we're back to life in South Park. Future content to include Nico, Satan's Big Gay Husband, OC goodness and a return to the more er… romantic part of the story.
Thanks for putting up with my randomness. ^.^