Loki stood on a rocky blue plain, his chest felt tight, he couldn't move. Thanos sat before him. One of his cronies pushed a modified version of his staff at him. He bared his teeth as he reluctantly took it. His mind screamed for him to drop it, to let it go.
Shutting his eyes tight he opened them again only to be watching the scene unfold; viewing himself from the sidelines. He watched as he stood helpless, the creature forcing the staff into his hands, he balled his own into fists at the sight, he knew what was next as he watched himself stand in front of Thanos, ready to do his bidding. The only, thought that consumed his mind at that time had been to rule; and to do that he had to pledge his allegiance. He screamed at himself to no avail, these events had already taken place, they could not be altered. He stood breathing hard as he watched Thanos move his hand and point to something behind him. Loki watched as he turned to face the other direction, but a chill hit his body, this he did not remember. Confused and suddenly terrified Loki turned to look where he watched himself stare.
There muzzled and chained was an enormous white wolf, its eyes a piercing emerald green. Loki's eyes widened as he saw what was about to happen, everything slowed and he found he could do nothing but watch as his doppelganger strode toward the beast, scepter held high to give a killing blow. "NO!" He tried to scream. This never happened. This was not a memory. He had to change it. He struggled as if tied down. Screaming again he watched helplessly as the wolf fought to break free, the death blow swiftly descended. A flash of light blinded him.
Loki woke to the sun. It was almost after noon. He never slept this late. What had happened? He had been somewhere. Was it a dream? He remembered Thanos and the scepter. He remembered the feeling of helplessness; he was struggling against something. The rest was a blur he could not recall. He shook his head feeling angry. Something felt wrong. The dream, although lost upon waking, evoked the memories he tried to forget. They were always memories from his past; this particular memory was now lost, and not knowing which plagued him, somehow made it worse.
Ashera! He thought suddenly, they were supposed to meet. He couldn't risk training her in this mood, not again. But he certainly couldn't keep her waiting either. He would just have to tell her in person and they would pick up again another time.
Ashera paced in her room. She had just gotten a call from Jane and the news was not good. She had triangulated the breach location and wanted to go look for the portal that weekend. Certainly Loki could close or hide the breach in order to stop her from finding out right? She had to ask him but she had no way to communicate with him. She would have to wait. At least they had arranged specific times to meet.
Ashera stretched out on the couch. She tapped her foot a while, before standing up to pace again. She was nervous. They needed to figure something out. It was only their first week of training but she was already enjoying the freedom it provided. Their training sessions allowed her to be herself in a way she couldn't on Earth. It was something she had been sorely missing without even realizing it. She feared to lose it so soon. She bit her lip impatiently. Where was he? She needed to calm down.
She sat herself back on the couch and grabbed a book. It was something Loki had lent her in order for her to understand the different types of magic. When they met last he had been certain her's were derived from something called green magic. She wasn't sure what it entailed but that was the point of reading the book she supposed. She opened it and flipped a few pages, not truly paying attention. All she could think of was their last meeting. Loki had been sure she was not a true werewolf. He said something about the aura being wrong and had handed her the book. He then told her an understanding of the magic she possessed was the best first step. "A basic knowledge is imperative to mastering the art." He had said with a flourish. Ashera was not so confident. Nothing thus far in her life had given her any inkling that she should be able to do more; then again she had little memory of her life before she had become completely alone. She had surprised even herself when she had admitted that fact to Loki. At least he had understood and it seemed to make sense to him, which left Ashera slightly uncomfortable having let out the information, but grateful none the less that someone else knew. It had been a long time since she had been honest about her life with anyone and the feeling, although foreign, was oddly comforting.
Too distracted to do any real reading she put the book down and proceeded to pace again. She had only taken a few turns when a shimmer appeared in her entryway. She watched it grow and felt relief as she walked toward it fully intending to stride across and into their field. Before she could Loki stood before her. "Oh!" she exclaimed as he waved a hand making the portal disappear.
"What are you doing?" she protested, "we can't train here."
Loki looked gravely at her and shook his head, "That was never my intention. I have come to inform you I will be required for other matters and we cannot train today. I am merely checking in."
"Oh, I see. Well I appreciate your personal delivery of the message." Ashera grinned. "I'm glad you're here, I have important news."
Loki raised an eyebrow and cocked his head slightly. Taking the queue Ashera began.
"Jane is searching for the portal again. She thinks she has narrowed it down and wants to do an in depth search this weekend; which is in two days…" Ashera saw Loki's brow crease. Satisfied that he was indeed listening she continued, "I don't think I can hold her off and I do want to be able to train with you. Is there anything you can do to close it temporarily? Or hide it? Anything?" Ashera gave an imploring look. Hoping he would understand the importance and not want to risk their time together or her secret.
Loki stood in contemplation for a moment. "Very well, I will do my best."
Ashera gave a sigh of relief before moving onto her next point. "We still need to find a way to speak across realms. Even for this instance," she paused, "Although appreciated there must be a better way to change our meet ups if necessary."
Loki nodded in agreement. "Here," he handed Ashera another book, this one larger than the last. Its leather cover reminiscent of something she had seen in movies. It was clearly a spell book and she wondered momentarily how he had concealed it.
"You might find something useful in there. If I am to work on the transportation and portal, you should work on the communication. Hopefully by our next meeting we will have something worked out." Ashera nodded, the idea was a good one even if she didn't know what she was looking for. "Oh," he added as he turned to leave, "let us meet in four days since you have your upcoming… trip with our dear friend Jane." He winked and disappeared, leaving Ashera alone once more, in her apartment.
Scrunching up her nose she looked at the book. She would have to read the other one first, she still had no idea what her magic was actually about.
Loki stood in front of the rift. He did not want to risk closing it. He had no way to open a portal without an already existing rift. He could work to disguise it further but he would not jeopardize his only way to Midgard. He took his time to make it as unnoticeable as possible. He was able to manipulate its distortion area so it would be harder for Jane to pinpoint. He also added a magnetic field in a wide radius so her electronics would cease to be useful. He could only do so much so he hoped Ashera could deter her a little as well. Putting one last shield spell as a last resort he nodded. Satisfied with his work he headed back to the palace. He had decided to walk through the gardens on his way to his rooms so when he turned the corner of his hall and saw Thor standing outside his door he was suspicious. "Looking for someone?" he questioned, appearing right next to the door. Thor jumped a bit but recovered quickly.
"Loki!" Thor greeted. "I thought you asleep, where have you been?"
Rolling his eyes he responded, "I do have some freedoms within these walls you know, and occasionally I do feel fit to use them."
"Well now you have a better excuse. Come!" Thor grinned widely, "It is training day! Let us see how rusty you have become in your confinement." Thor teased as he play punched Loki in the arm.
Loki thought for a moment. He had been interested in the suggestion when it was made at the banquet and he had finished with the portal so he hadn't planned much past that. "Perhaps some training would be decent practice. I am becoming tired of only defeating you in my dreams." Loki smirked
Thor looked at him expectantly his eyes big.
Loki looked sideways at him as he summoned his daggers. Flipping them in the air and sheathing them at his waist grinning wickedly at his brother who laughed out loud at the response. "It will have to stay in your dreams I'm afraid." He said grasping Loki by his shoulder, leading him back away from his rooms and toward the training yards.
Loki stretched on the side as Thor picked out a practice broadsword. He gave one a few swings as he entered the ring. Loki picked out a small practice blade much shorter and thinner than Thor's choice. They had decided to start simple not using their preferred weapons of choice just yet.
"So, how shall we do this?" Loki asked grinning "Last man standing? Two out of three?"
"Ahh a simple spar to start" Thor brought his sword up in a ready position.
Loki swung in and darted out. Thor blocked the swing and threw his weight behind his next blow. Loki spun away only to continue circling.
"I spoke with father about you." Thor said idly.
"Oh? I am sure that was a pleasant conversation." Loki stated dryly as he lunged and backed again.
"I was attempting to convince him to let you join me in a hunting trip that has been planned a few months from now. We are to journey into the forests and camp overnight." Thor blocked another swing from Loki but remained unfazed.
"I'm sure he was very excited about that prospect. The fallen prince doomed to be locked in his rooms, out on the town at last." Loki's malevolence made him miss an opportunity as well as Thor's next swing which clipped his armor and made him stumble.
Thor paused for Loki to regain his balance not wanting to point out the flaw, "He was not as open to the thought as I had hoped." He looked unhappy for a moment before continuing, "But I am sure this training will prove to him your efforts!"
Loki stopped cold, "Efforts in what exactly?" He asked calmly. He no longer circled or tried to fight as he stared incriminatingly toward Thor who suddenly looked very uncomfortable.
"Well… your efforts to regain our trust and your willingness to be a part of this family again…" Thor said almost ashamedly.
"I was never a true part of this family!" Loki spat suddenly irate. "If I was I would not need to regain your trust. If you truly thought of me as your brother you would have believed me." Loki threw down the practice blade; he could not fathom why this was where the light hearted event had gone. He could not believe he had let himself think things could be as they used to.
"I should not have to regain trust from you. Who didn't bother to see past his new friends to the brother that was in trouble? Why did you not try?!" Loki suddenly felt tears threaten to spill over as he stood before Thor.
"I was there Thor, I was there for you when we were younger, and I was always by your side! Whenever you needed me, whenever you had a problem, I was the one who saved you." Loki looked pointedly at Thor as he shook with rage.
"Where were you when I needed you most?!" He shot the words like arrows at the large figure that stood dumbstruck in the center of the ring. "It is not I who needs to regain your trust," Loki looked at Thor through watery eyes, "It is you who should be regaining mine." Loki turned and stalked away before Thor had a chance to respond.
With nothing left to do Loki found himself in his chambers, disappointed in himself. He had been excited at the chance for something familiar. There had been a time when he used to enjoy Thor's company, and he had even begun to think of him as a brother again. Tonight had dashed his last thoughts on the matter. He was still alone.
Seeing a book on wolves he had left by his bed he smiled despite himself. Almost alone, he realized as he thought of Ashera.
AN: Sorry for the long wait! Thanks for still reading! I will try to do better!