Final Notes from the Authoress
As few of you as there have been to read this story, I have enjoyed every moment I spent writing about Rahne and Sam for this story. I do not write for reviews: if I did, this story would have been abandoned and languishing in my computer files. I write for those of you who want to read, and because I cannot imagine not doing so.
Below, I detailed the playlist that I drew titles from for each chapter, a little extra in case anyone was interested in my motivation. These songs kept me going throughout the writing process and inspired the direction of each individual chapter.
Chapter 1: Young Velvet Porcelain. Their first time had been a drunken mistake. "Candy Perfume Girl" by Madonna.
The song invokes some rather sexual and sensual imagery. With a slow tempo, electronic flourishes that suggested an underwater atmosphere, and lyrics you have to read between the lines to fully understand, "Candy Perfume Girl" echoed the sense that I wanted to capture. The lyrics I chose reflect both Rahne and Sam: although this iconic singer tags the description onto a male, the terms 'velvet' and 'porcelain' indicate a kind of delicacy that easily reflects the nature of the situation, and the way both of them react to their encounter.
Chapter 2: Fight Your Nature. In between, there were blurred lines. "All The Arms Around You" by Halloween, Alaska.
Also heavily electronic, this song caught more of the tension between the characters in statement and question lyrics along with a slowly rising beat. The way the song rose from a slightly darker-feeling sound to a hopeful one caught my ear, because it echoed that sadness and confusion changing into hope. Of course, Rahne and Sam don't resolve their issues in this chapter, but the hope has been present throughout and the further along in the story, the more that the transition clarifies into the end resolution. The lines I chose are blatantly Rahne, as they reflect her decision to resist what she desires.
Chapter 3: Feeling Like I Can't Forgive. Their awkward dance had to end sometime. "What I Wouldn't Give" by Holly Brook.
A steady stream of piano notes and the singer's clear voice create a very soothing, solemn, and sad atmosphere. The lyrics indicate an internal struggle, perhaps over a situation or individual although it is not entirely clear which: the end result is a focus on the conflict internalized, and how one deals with it. I thought this captured Rahne's struggle, especially over a desire to forget. The reason the title is instead about forgiveness is due to the fact that this chapter focuses more on a conflict that Rahne is reluctant to forgive.
Chapter 4: You Just Can't Show Me. A pseudo-relationship has its own challenges. "Desire" by Ryan Adams.
As soft as most of the songs I have chosen, this was one in my arsenal of songs which I felt was the most clearly romantic while also retaining the levels of reluctance and hesitation that have characterized Rahne and Sam so far in their relationship. The lyrics speak to both of them as well, capturing the desire that they share—an aptly-named song, yes? The title doubles as well: it is both Rahne's fear of pushing and Sam's conscious decision to withhold pressuring her, which results in their fling being less of a relationship and more like benefits.
Chapter 5: The Doubt That Fills My Mind. And now, for something a little different. "Collide" by Howie Day.
Piano, guitar, and the usual electronic accompaniments: a popular song, and one that many people would recognize. I thought that this one in particular fit Sam's perspective of this situation because of the lyrics and their subject matter. The confusion, the sense that one is not in control over the situation, and the unexpected are all very present in this song, and there's an added layer of romantic intent to the song that made it fit well with what Sam actually wants. The title chosen is, of course, speaking to his hesitation over whether messing around with Rahne is actually the best decision.
Chapter 6: Iron Bars Can't Hold My Soul. It was a school day. "Savin' Me" by Nickelback.
The slightly harder edge to this song—after the previous five have all been in a much softer range—is a little jarring, but still exactly captures the effect that I wanted. Despite its broadly-defined categorization as rock, this song still has a slow tempo and vocals are smoother than most rock songs. The lyrics require a perspective that is playfully metaphoric and literal in different places, which I enjoyed figuring out in reference to the story. For example, the title using 'iron bars' gives an image of being captured and imprisoned—but that is by both the FOH, and by the school and society.
Chapter 7: Bruised and Broken. She never knew what she had until now. "O'Lord" by Smile Empty Soul.
Although keeping to the lower range of tempo and notes, this song still has an appealing build up to a heavier feeling than it does upon the start of the song. That buildup caught my ear first, and the lyrics followed after. They are a plea for help and longing, and although Rahne does not cry out to any deity and instead relies upon herself, I thought the lyrics captured something essentially human/mutant to the situation. It is easy to hear many voices, and—like with the previous song—hear many layers of metaphor in respect to the situation. The title captures one of those images, too.
Chapter 8: An Uneven Trade. The worst moment is letting go. "Fields of Innocence" by Evanescence.
Both for this chapter and as the main title, this song was especially important to the overall creation of this story. Female voices singing unclear notes, electronic effects, and the slightly windy feel of this very slow, sad and longing song were enough to shape the fragments of my idea for these characters. I thought that it caught the despair felt in the very worst parts of the story—the attack, the capture, the imprisonment. The title of this chapter was chosen mostly in reference to broader mutant issues: they did nothing to deserve attack, and the choices they are left with are unfair. Their anonymity was traded for infamy in the present, and it's unclear whether the future will be much brighter.
Chapter 9: Lines of Fear and Blame. Going in and going under. "How to Save a Life" by The Fray
It may seem a startling change from the much darker sound of the previous song, but the lyrics are not much happier despite the lighter sounds of piano, drum, and singer, all in higher ranges and at a mildly faster beat. The song is all about a disagreement, loss, and feeling lost. This one is about a lot of the feelings that Sam and Rahne dealt with throughout the story. Other lyrics capture moments such as the girls' decision to disobey Professor Xavier's command. The title captures that and broader mutant issues from this story, focusing on 'lines' being drawn and the emotions that accompany them.
Chapter 10: Whistling a New Tune. Waking up has never been so hard. "All Good Things (Come to an End)" by Nelly Furtado.
As important as Evanescence's contribution, this song was one of the very first that inspired the relationship between Sam and Rahne, and the way it played out in this story. The rhythm and sound of this song make it feel peaceful, the lyrics indicating a lingering sadness over the loss of something happy. If I were not a hopeless romantic, this story would have ended with this song wrapping it up into a not-happy ending. Fortunately for you if you like Rahne and Sam together, I thought twice and recalled that an end can be a new beginning: 'whistle a new tune' and progress from that point. Hence the title.
Chapter 11: Hold My Breath and Jump Right In. Sometimes it has to get worse to heal. "Control" by Garbage.
Although not originally one of the songs I had chosen for this story, I heard this song when it came out recently and I changed what was here before (another song by The Fray). Despite being a later addition, I feel that this song is partly romantic, partly tough about being so, and very badass. The lyrics caught my ear as travelling close to Rahne's thoughts—particularly the 'maybe's. It starts off soft like the other songs, but the crescendo to grittier rock was something I thought echoed the progression of this story. The longest title in this story is appropriately clear on Rahne's decision.
Chapter 12: Race From Our Schoolyards. Reality is so much better than fairytales. "The Lucky Ones" by Brendan James
This song is also a newer addition to the story. It was difficult to figure out what song to have here: after chapters of tracing all the teenage confusion and angst of a relationship, I wasn't quite sure how to end up on the happy note that I wanted, with a song that was romantic and hopeful. It's changed several times, but I finally settled on this pop song because although it is hopeful, the lyrics are also a little bit questionable: 'hands like loaded guns' indicates a bit of danger, caution, and uncertainty. The title is a reminder that even though in my headcanon the characters stay together—a happy ending depends on where you stop the story. And high school romances all go 'into the unknown' with no certainty of success.
Commentary aside, I quite enjoy listening to all of these songs. I hope you were interested enough to seek them out for a listen, too!
Thank you for reading all the way to the end.
~ Sweetbriar