Chapter 13

The morning passed and still Trudy never asked Amber about everyone at the mall. Gradually, a week passed and Amber had managed to get across the news that Alice was well again and that Ryan and Patsy were back. She once started telling Trudy what she thought would be a funny story about one of Patsy and Gel's fights, but Trudy interrupted her saying that she had a lot of work to do. She always had a lot of work to do! More and more, Amber noticed that Trudy was spending less and less time with her. Even when she was there, she rarely looked at Amber any more, preferring to watch her daughter or her nephew, or even just the campfire, to looking her friend in the eye as they talked.

Something wasn't right. Amber knew something wasn't right, but she had no idea what it was. She wondered if she had offended Trudy in any way by turning up at the camp so late in the evening, they had no choice but to let her stay the night at least. She decided that, whatever it was, she would have to confront Trudy about it: her avoidance of speaking to or looking at Amber was getting so pronounced that even Bray and Brady were starting to notice. Amber was sure that Mouse and Hawk had already noticed, but while Mouse seemed just as confused as Amber, Hawk seemed to know more.

"Hawk?" Amber called across to the young Gaian, "Have you seen Trudy?"

"I think she went for a walk," the young man replied, looking first at the sky, then at Amber.

"What's going on Hawk?"

"What do you mean, Amber? I see nothing 'going on'. No more that nature, anyway."

"You know exactly what I mean! Don't lie to me Hawk: you're terrible at it! Why is Trudy avoiding me? Ever since I've been here, if I try to start a conversation with her she finds some excuse to be away. Even when she is there, she never looks at me! What is it? Is it something I've done?"

"No, Amber, you must not think that."

"Then what should I think?"

"It is not your fault."

"Then whose fault is it, Hawk? Tell me why Trudy's like this; I know you know!"

"I never said that I did not. But what I know I was told in confidence. It is not my place to tell you."

"So I must ask Trudy?"

"Yes."

"Then tell me where she is so that I can go ask her!"

Hawk sighed. There were times when Amber had suited the name of Eagle: she soared high and proud above the crowds, being kept afloat by her willpower and her dream of building a better world for her son. Other times, she was so unsuited to any Gaian name that it was difficult to believe that the two were the same person: she was impatient, pushy and, from what he heard of her while she was back in the mall, almost always calling on some guy, Jack, to check the alarm, make more sensors, or make some technological gadget that would never be welcomed in the Eco camp. He didn't know the guy, but the mere fact that he apparently spent his entire days surrounded by technology, rather than nature, was enough to convince Hawk that they would never get along.

He had heard Amber talk about this Jack for most of the week that she had been with them. He knew about Jack's relationship with Ellie and Luke's return. He knew how Jack had reacted when Luke turned up, then later when Ellie was nursing him and then later again, when he heard them talking and, finally, when Ellie had told Jack they were over and that she loved Luke. He also knew most of the story of Luke and Ellie's affair when Jack had been sent away by the chosen and even after he returned. He felt sorry for the guy, no-one should have to go through that, especially not twice, but that was all. Amber had told him all about the gadgets Jack had rigged up at the mall: the water purifiers, the alarms system, the grill lock. She had told him all about Jack's part in bringing down the Technos: how brave he was to go in there undercover. That, of course, led on to how brave he was saving them all from that bomb that Java put in Ellie's pack when she sent her back to the mall.

It was plain to Hawk that Amber could rarely think of anything else. Perhaps that was her reason for coming back to them: to get away from the man she, clearly, loved, but who was still too much in love with someone else to love her back. If she had thought that coming here would help her forget him, however, she was very definitely mistaken as it seemed that the only time she spent not thinking about him were the times she spent trying to find and talk to Trudy. It was also clear to Hawk that Amber's biggest reason for finding and talking to Trudy was so that she could relate all of Jack's charms to someone who actually knew him and would know who she was talking about, as well as being able to, possibly, offer her some advice!

"She went to the river," Hawk told Amber, sighing, "Go, speak to her if you must."

"Thank you."

Amber turned on her heel and headed off towards the river. Mouse was looking after Bray, so she didn't have to worry about his presence if she and Trudy fought, and she had seen Brady with another of the Gaian girls, so her presence would not be a worry to her either.

In five or ten minutes walking, Amber had reached the river and could see Trudy sitting on a rock by the back, staring at the water.

"Anything interesting in there?" Amber called out, still a little distance away.

Trudy looked up. She saw Amber and hurriedly wiped her eyes, smudging some of her make-up in the process.

"Oh, I'm just day dreaming, you know," she called back cheerily.

"Uh-huh," Amber replied, arriving at Trudy's side, "then why were you crying?"

"Oh, nothing. Just, you kow, memories."

"Of Jay?"

"Y-you could say that."

"It's okay. I know it can't be any easier for you that it is for me. Worse perhaps, because you weren't there. You never had the chance to say goodbye."

Trudy laughed. It was a little, wry laugh. It made Amber frown.

"What? What's so funny? What did I say?" Amber asked, still frowning.

Trudy looked away. Inside she remembered the feelings of that day. The jealousy, the spite, the hatred. She remembered every detail perfectly. Oh yes, she was there. But she still never had the chance to say goodbye.

"Thank you for bringing my nephew to see me, Amber," she said, without looking up, "but I really think you should go home now."

"What? Trudy, why? You're not still bitter over me and Jay? It's been months! He's dead Trudy! There's no point in arguing which of us loved him more, he's gone!"

"You think I don't know that?" Trudy exploded, "I know it better than anyone! But he shouldn't be dead, Amber. You should! That laser was aimed at you, not him!"

Amber recoiled, as if Trudy had struck out and punched her.

"What?"

"If he hadn't seen me and moved you out of the way, you would be the dead one, Amber, not him! Then maybe, just maybe, he would have come back to me!"

Amber, shaking her head in shock, turned and ran. She didn't stop running until she got to the camp. When she got there, the tears finally came. Hawk rushed over to her side and gathered her up into his arms as she collapsed by the campfire. He carried her into the hut she shared with Trudy and set her down on the bed. Mouse stood at the doorway for a second, holding a sleeping Bray in her arms, then moved away before the baby awoke to the sound of his mother's tears. Hawk sat with Amber until the tears subsided and she merely stared, blankly, ahead of her. He gave her a cup of water and she sipped at it slowly.

"Try and get some sleep," he ordered her.

"In the next bed to the woman who tried to kill me?"

"She won't sleep here tonight, I'll see to that."

"She was like a sister to me!"

"Amber, sleep. I know it's hard, but you must try. You will need your strength."

"I can't stay here."

"No."

"I must leave, I have to leave," Amber got up to gather her things, but fell back down again, onto the bed.

"You don't have the strength to go now: you're worn out. Sleep now. Leave in the morning. I will see to it that everything is ready. You will not have to see Trudy again."

"How can you let her stay here?" Amber asked turning her gaze to focus on the Gaian leader, "She's a murderer!"

"She is and may be many things, but it is nature's place to judge, not ours. Perhaps nature had a reason for bringing her to us. Perhaps she has a purpose yet to fulfill."

Amber looked at him, sadly, then nodded and lay down to sleep. Hawk pulled a blanket over her and stood up. As he walked to the door, he was met by another Gaian. The other man whispered a few words in Hawk's ear and handed him a piece of paper. The leader looked down at the paper and, gravely, read it's contents. Looking up again and sighing, he turned, looked sadly at Amber, sleeping on the bed, and closed the door quietly.