An hour later, Bones had the medical kits ready for the various crew physicals they were going to be performing over the next twelve to fourteen hours. Physicals-time was never fun for anyone but now for Bones it carried an extra layer of no-fun since it would cut into date night with Christine. Fortunately he wouldn't be the only one doing them this time around, as Picardo wasn't trapped on a satellite due to malfunctioning transporter motherboards which meant they could serve their customers three at a time.

He dragged a hand over his face as he uploaded the patient files into the medical PADDs, then saw a thermal cup of coffee slide towards him; it was pushed into view with a single finger well-manicured in sparkly blue.

'You're an angel,' he told her, glancing up with a smile, saw Christine and pretended to scowl when he saw she looked like she'd spent the morning in a spa, fresh as a daisy with a satisfied glint in her eye. 'So not fair.'

'What?'

'You look gorgeous and I'm feeling like warmed up horse-shit.'

Christine glanced around, wiggled her eyes brows and leaned in for a quick kiss on his mouth. 'How about now?'

'Now, I feel worse.'

'What!'

'Yeah, because that's all we get for the next twelve hours,' Bones pretended to pout, then changed his grin from thankful to devilish, 'but I'll make you a wager.'

'Oh?'

'At the end of shift tonight, if I've had more dirty thoughts than you, I owe you…' Bones looked her up and down. 'A full body massage after work tonight. To start.'

'And if I've been the naughty one?'

'You owe me the same.'

'So…' Christine moved around the desk to be closer to him. 'Either way, one of us gets to feel the other up?'

'You betcha.'

'It's a date.'

'Hey, not so fast, darlin'.' Bones caught her elbow as she turned to leave, pulled her in for one more quick kiss. 'Okay, I'm good for now. Thanks a million for the coffee.'

As Bones predicted, the moment was the last they had for themselves, for once oh-eight-hundred-thirty hit the crew members started filtering in, one after the other like a never ending parade of colour-coded shirts. He rarely stopped to think of just how many people it took to run the Enterprise, but every six months Bones was reminded of it when it was time to do physicals. Two doctors along with four nurses at twenty minutes per patient gave Bones a headache trying to calculate just how long it would take; it didn't help either when Kirk came round from his semi-conscious fugue state long enough to be severely annoyed at learning he still had to complete his physical later that day.

With the drugged-up curses from the captain ringing in his ears, Bones went back into his private office to transfer the PADD data into his mainframe directly so he could just have a mild breather from listening to everyone's private business. He figured part of what made him so good at keeping his Hippocratic Oath was the fact that when he was in the room, he was invested in his patient's welfare but when they started droning on with the personal drama-drama, it just slid in one ear and out the other and was forgotten before the appointment was over.

'Doctor? Your next appointment is here.'

Bones looked up from his desk, screaming in his mind for the world to just fuck off for five more minutes but he nodded placidly at the nurse. 'Thanks Grace, show the patient into exam pod two.'

'You got it. Do you want anything from the mess hall? It's an all-Italian menu today.'

'I'm good for now, but thanks.'

Bones rose from his desk, headed through the waiting area where several ensigns were filling out the necessary forms to the exam-pod and pulled up short when he saw Uhura waiting for him. She was wearing the medical gown already and letting her long legs swing while sitting on the side of the exam bed; at the noise of his entrance, she turned and gave him a smug, knowing smile that threatened Bones' mood to go from semi-okay to downright shitty.

'Good morning, Doctor,' she said in overly polite tones as he sealed the door. 'How are we this morning?'

'Quite well, thank you Lieutenant,' Bones replied, scanning the data from her intake form. 'See here you've been feeling-'

'Jealous at being left out of all the fun details on you and my best friend,' Uhura cut across him with the honey-edge razor tone Bones was all too familiar with from his ex-wife; it never failed to send Bones' mood from semi-okay to downright shitty.. 'How come I had to be kept in the dark for so long? If anyone knows what it means to keep work and personal both mixed and separated, it's me.'

'Lieutenant, you understand I'm in my place of business aboard this ship, right? You and Spock don't make goo-goo eyes at each other across the bridge.' The thought of Spock making goo-goo eyes at anyone made Bones shudder involuntarily. 'God that's a creepy thought.'

Uhura rolled her eyes impatiently. 'Spock isn't as closed off as anyone thinks, and besides we do other things on the bridge too.'

'Lieutenant, my day is hard enough today without you adding that horrifying mental picture of you and your Vulcan boy-toy going at it up there.'

'Wow. Either you got laid really good last night or you are cranky about having to wait for it, or both,' she replied on a laugh, then narrowed her eyes to study his face as he shone his pen-light in her eyes, popped in the earbuds of his stethoscope. 'I'm betting on the second, since I know my best friend and she isn't the type to sleep with a guy on the first date. And that's not what I meant.'

'Thank god. Deep breath in, hold for five, then long exhale please.'

Uhura did as she was told, repeated it three more times as Bones moved the stethoscope head around her chest and back; she was a patient woman by nature, or else she wouldn't have lasted as long as she had with her lover. 'I mean we have our own little phrases that on the surface are just compliments but for us they have a deeper meaning for what we'd really like to say in the moment but can't.'

'Like what?'

'Well…when we first were more open about our relationship after the whole Nero thing, he would say your work never fails to be impressive, Lieutenant when he really meant your brains are making me hot.'

Bones moved his fingers around so he could check under her jaw and along the throat for any signs of swollen glands. 'Thought Vulcans couldn't lie.'

'They can't, but Spock has learned to use the idea of implication in his language.' Uhura arched her eyebrow, then waited as she extended her tongue so Bones could examine her tonsils. 'Exhibit A, his recent little research project on you with Kirk.'

'When those two put their heads together, it's worse than gossipy old washerwomen at the back fence,' he groused, paging for a nurse to enter the exam room with him, then was torn between grinding his teeth in frustration and gratitude when Christine came in with a clear plastic protective cloak over her uniform that appeared to be splattered with a gooey unidentified substance. 'Kirk?'

'The captain is a disgusting fountain, and every time he sneezes he whines more.' She stripped off the plastic cover, tossed it in the biohazard disposal bin. 'I'm tempted to give him another knock-out dose just to shut him up a little while longer.'

'Right now, I need you to be my second eyes while I perform the remainder of the lieutenant's exam.'

Christine nodded, stood by Uhura's head as she slipped her arms out of her medical gown and let it drape at her waist. She lifted Uhura's right arm above her head, then the left, keeping her eyes on her friend's as Bones did the routine breast exam to check for any abnormalities.

'It's just not as much fun this way,' Uhura commented, 'now if we were on a beach somewhere, or maybe a fancy hotel like that new Atlantis place on the Vegas Four satellite-'

'If you two were doing that, I think Spock would be a little bit cranky at you both,' Christine teased while Uhura slid her gown back into place and Bones prepared the instruments to collect a sample for a pap-smear. 'Not to mention it'd be very hard not to justify drowning you at that beach, and I really don't wanna kill my best friend.'

'Well obviously I'm not gonna poach. I like my guy just as he is, green-blooded, very sweet and full of stamina.'

'And I like my sweet red-blooded grumpy guy from Kentucky,' Christine replied, beaming a smile as Bones sat on his rolling-foot stool near Uhura's feet. 'Right now, you're in for a treat.'

Uhura made a face as she propped her feet into the braces, unconsciously taking Christine's had as Bones lifted the tent formed by her knees and instructed her to inhale deeply, then exhale as he took the necessary swabs. 'You'd think after how many hundreds of years, all the advances in the medical field and women are still subjected to getting a Q-tip shoved up their hoo-ha just to determine their sexual health.'

'Be thankful you're not a guy getting a couple fingers up your keister for a prostate exam,' Bones informed her, and earned a withering stare from both his patient and his girlfriend. 'What?'

'You're a doctor, McCoy. You know how human or humanoid anatomy works, women are unfortunately accustomed to being invaded for medical reasons and pleasantly so for fun ones.' Uhura sat up, covered herself out of modesty for Christine more than herself, and pointed at her best friend. 'At least she gets dinner or a screen-viewing before you do that to her.'

To her utter delight, she saw both Christine and Bones pink in the cheeks while trying not to fidget in embarrassment. She offered a toothy grin, gathered her uniform for dressing while Bones beat a hasty exit to both drop off the necessary samples in the lab and to give Christine time with her friend.

'So, any plans for later?' she asked in a painfully sweet tone, making Christine's cheeks flood ruby red.

'Was that really necessary? Do I give you shit over Spock when you're both on the bridge?'

'Yes.'

'Okay, yeah, I do from time to time,' Christine admitted on a giggle, 'but you guys were already involved before you were senior officers on the Enterprise. We met here, big difference. I don't need a waiting room full of the crew to be speculating on us using the exam pods for our own private purposes.'

'Christine, why are you so squeamish about this?' Uhura inquired as she tugged on her dress. 'Are you worried about your job?'

'No, not at all, that part I'm okay with since Leonard and I are apparently used to keeping our personal feelings under wraps so it doesn't interfere with our posts on board the ship.'

'Then what?'

'It…' Christine shook her head. 'It's different with him.'

'Does he have a second penis or something and you don't know what to do with two at a time?'

The mental image of it had the tension breaking inside Christine and she laughed uproariously. 'No, it's…I haven't been with anyone since coming on board the ship, casual or serious. At first it was because I wanted time to get my confidence back in myself after everything. Then since last August, it's been more than I just wanna get laid or something, it's that I want him. All of him.'

'Now you have him and it scares you,' Uhura concluded, making her friend nod.

'I'm fucking terrified. He's divorced, he's a dad, he's-'

'Someone who makes you happier than I've ever seen you, doesn't that count for something?'

'Of course, it's the biggest thing, I just…I don't wanna lose it.'

'Why last August? What's so special about that?'

Christine chewed her lip; this part she'd never revealed to anyone, she hadn't even put it into her own old-fashioned paper-and-pen journal where she kept everything she didn't want to be archived into a mainframe somewhere. 'When we were home for a whole two weeks of shore-leave while the ship was undergoing its regular inspections and mechanical routines and everything, Bones invited me to go with him to the Grateful Dead Festival for Joanna's birthday.'

'See, I knew you guys had been on a date before last night,' Uhura started, then settled into barely contained silence when Christine gave her a pleading look.

'I was the only one interested in that kind of music, so I said sure, and while we were out for the day with Joanna, she kept making comments and hints that we sounded like a couple and that she'd be okay with it if we were.'

Uhura nodded understandingly; despite having met Bones' daughter only a handful of times she knew the girl wanted her father to have some happiness in his life beyond his job and his close friends.

'I'd never really thought of Leonard that way until Joanna brought it up, and then later in the day we ran into Chekov and Sulu. Joanna, being the bright gal she is, was happily teasing us about it the whole day and they ran with it too,' Christine went on, 'so by the time I went to bed that night I couldn't stop thinking of it, and then slow but surely what I feel for him…it turned into what you saw in the greenhouse.'

'I can see how that would be scary for you. Let me ask you this, when you guys got physical last night, how much happened?' As Christine gave her the essential details, Uhura just smiled giddily the way she did at anything romantic. 'Aww, he's nervous too.'

'Nervous? This is Bones we're talking about.'

'Exactly. He might be best friends with Mister Phlegm-Filled Ladies Man Jim Kirk, but Bones is a stand-up guy and he's not going to push things until he's ready.'

'He seemed pretty smooth about our first kiss last night,' Christine muttered; this time as she told her friend the story, Uhura wasn't grinning goofily but actually fanning herself before tugging her uniform undershorts up and over her stockings.

'Hot.'

'Seriously?'

'As someone who lives with a man whose entire romantic history is best described as a slow-burn at the best of times, I can assure you Chris, Bones is taking his time so he doesn't mess it up.' Uhura shrugged, then unsealed the door. 'In my experience, that's not a bad thing at all.'

The door whisked open, and Christine wasn't at all surprised to see her nearly bump into Bones on her way out. Uhura shot him a wink on her way out, and Christine gulped a little when he shut the door once more.

'You need something, Doctor?' she asked, hoping her voice didn't sound like she'd just swallowed a lungful of helium.

Bones nodded, gave her a quick kiss. 'I'm weak and easy,' he admitted, 'couldn't go much longer without you.'

'We're working, you know. Won't this break the rules?'

'You're not my patient, so no,' Bones told her, his mouth set in its usual stern lines that made Christine wanna jump him. 'When you do go and see Picardo?'

'At two, then I'm going for my lunch. Want me to bring you back something?'

'Yeah, Grace said it's an Italian menu today.'

'Which probably means a choice between spaghetti and meatballs or pizza.' Christine smiled as she labeled the samples from Uhura's exams for taking to the lab to be verified. 'Which also probably means given how popular those choices are on board this ship, that will spill into dinner so maybe once we are done here, we'll go to the holodeck for dinner for something different?'

'Nope.'

'No?'

'Nope,' Bones repeated, folding his arms over his chest and shaking his head. 'I'm not gonna make you do the heavy lifting of always asking me out on date night, so we'll have dinner at your place, but I'm cooking.'

'You're cooking?' Christine gave him a wary look. 'Are you sure that's such a wise idea, with the stove that has all those knobs and stuff? That's a lot of technology to handle, Doctor.'

'Don't sound so terrified, it's just transporters that get me twitchy.'

Bones gave her one more kiss, then headed back into the waiting room to find Spock was next in line. 'Amongst other things,' he muttered and prepared himself for the next round.