Beyond the Precipice

by Xareh77

The way of the Shinobi, a life of Darkness. However, it barely scratches the surface of said Darkness. A chance encounter leads Naruto to befriending a True Denizen of the Dark whose mere presence sends ripples of unknown magnitude and concequence through the Village of Konoha and beyond. Whether they be good or bad are yet to be seen. Naru/OC/Zaku. YAOI. M for Lemons and mild gore

14. Chapter 14 - Life Amongst Demons

Chapter 14: Life Amongst Demons and Two Tasks

Quotation Guide

"normal text" - Normal Speech
'Text' - Thoughts
'Italics' - Telepathy
"Bold Italics" - Vocum Etherea (Telepathy+Speech)/ Demonised Voice
"BOLD ITALICS CAPS" - Demon Rage
"Bold" - Demon Tongue
"Bold Quotes + Bold Text" - Bijuu Speech
"Bold Quotes + BOLD CAPS" - Bijuu Rage

Densuke groaned softly as he woke up the next morning. The night before he had decided to get a good night's sleep so he fully allowed himself to withdraw into total slumber. Turning onto his side, eyes still closed, Densuke reached out to grab hold of Naruto so that he could spoon into his back, but was surprised when his hand impacted the mattress with a soft thud. Patting his hand around Naruto's side of the mattress a few times, Densuke lifted his head with a sharp sniff and looked around the room, his eyes squinted from drowsiness before letting out a long, wide yawn, which caused his fangs to involuntarily extend, and slipped out of bed. After washing his face and brushing his teeth, Densuke padded out of the bathroom and towards the the bedroom door, while still wearing the black boxer-briefs he had slept in.

Stepping out of the room, Densuke's senses were assaulted by the smell of food being cooked then smiled at the sight of Naruto, wearing only his pyjama bottoms and an apron, standing in front of the stove, cooking.

Crossing the apartment, Densuke surprised Naruto by wrapping his arms around the genin's stomach, arms slipping under the apron, as he rested his chin on Naruto's shoulder and said, "Mmm~ Morning Sexy"

"Morning Den-chan" Naruto cooed as he pushed back into Densuke's embrace allowing the warmth of the vampire's body to permeate him.

"Smells good" Densuke said as he inhaled deeply, "What's for breakfast?"

"A lot" Naruto said, "There's toast, butter, jam, tamagoyaki, tea, coffee, juice, rice, miso soup, chicken corn soup, onigiri, fresh salad, prawn tempura and grilled salmon for Sensei"

"That's a lot of food and not all of those things are breakfast dishes" Densuke commented as he started kissing Naruto's bare shoulder.

"I know that" Naruto said as his eyelids fluttered and a sigh of contentment escaped his lips, "But I wanted to welcome Zabuza and Haku-chan with a big breakfast. Besides I need to improve my cooking skills"

"Well then, why don't I make sure you made everything correctly" Densuke said as he reached out to takes one of the onigiris from a serving plate on the counter before Naruto smacked his hand away with a wooden spoon.

"No touching until everyone is seated at the table" Naruto said.

Densuke chuckled as he returned his hand to Naruto's stomach.

After a few moments, Naruto groaned softly as Densuke started nibbling the base of his neck and started grinding into the blonde's behind.

"You know" Densuke said huskily as he ran his lips up and down Naruto's neck, "If there weren't two layers of fabric between us, I'd be able to distract you while I grab a snack"

"Please don't" Naruto said breathily as felt Densuke's hardening member grind into him, causing his own to plump, "The last time you did it you made me ruin my soup"

"That I most certainly did" Densuke said with a chuckle as he licked his way up Naruto's neck then started sucking on his earlobe while a hand reached down and started fondling the blond through his pyjama bottoms, "But wouldn't you agree that the soup tasted better with a dash of 'Uzumaki Naruto's Special Sauce'"

"Fucking pervert" Naruto muttered as he slowly closed his eyes and tilted his head back, resting it on Densuke's shoulder while still stirring the soup.

"Only when you're involved" Densuke whispered as he licked the edge of Naruto's ear while his hand started stroking Naruto through the fabric of his pyjama bottoms.

"*Ahem!*" the duo heard, causing them to immediately turn their heads and see Zabuza, bare chested and clad in a pair of grey sweatpants, standing there with his arms folded and a raised eyebrow.

"What? Never seen a guy molest his boyfriend while cooking breakfast?" Densuke asked.

"Technically no, but that's besides the point" Zabuza stated.

"Then what is, because I clearly don't see it" Densuke stated, "I mean we're all guys and I know for a fact that both you and Haku are gay"

"What!?" Zabuza exclaimed in surprise then narrowed his eyes, "How did you know that?"

"I'm a telepath, I can recognise a homosexual mind when I see one" Densuke said before giving Naruto's semi-hardon a light squeeze then released his hold on the blond and took a seat at the kitchen table.

Zabuza simply grunted as he took a seat then picked up the newspaper on the table and started reading before asking, "Got any coffee?"

"There's a pot brewing on the counter" Naruto said as pointed to it using the wooden spoon, "Also, please put the plate of onigiri and the rice cooker on the table"

Zabuza grunted in response before he placed the plate and the cooker on the table then poured himself a mug of coffee while sitting back down at the table.

As he placed the coffee jug on the table, Zabuza raised an eyebrow when he saw Densuke pour himself a glass of orange juice and take a sip.

"What?" Densuke asked then took another sip, "Vampires need vitamin C too you know"

"I thought vampires only drank blood" Zabuza stated.

"Depends on the kind of vampire you are" Densuke said.

"There's more than one kind?" Zabuza asked.

"Yes there are" Densuke said, "But the three major ones are Pure-Bloods, Half-Bloods and Ancients. Half-Blood vampires are humans that have been turned into a vampire by another vampire. Pure-Bloods are vampires that are born from two vampires and it doesn't matter whether the parents are Pure-Bloods, Half-Bloods or one of each, the child will always be Pure-Blood. The third type is the Ancient Vampire and they are vampires that evolve, so to speak, after living a very long time usually about a thousand years and are very powerful"

"And I'm guessing you're an Ancient" Zabuza stated.

"Ooh, very observant" Densuke complimented as he smirked.

"Morning" everyone heard being drawled out causing them to turn before Naruto's and Densuke's eyes bugged out at the sight before them.

Haku, dressed in a simple, white sleeping kimono; that was very ruffled and slipping off one shoulder, dragged his feet into the kitchen. However, that wasn't what startled Naruto and Densuke. What startled them was Haku's appearance, the teen's long hair had come completely undone during the course of the night and was splayed out in manners that clearly defied the laws of physics, his eyes were fluttering with the desire for sleep while out of the corner of his mouth a dried trail of drool was clearly evident.

"Ugh" Haku groaned as he dropped into the seat at the head of the table, since it was the closest one, then let his face drop onto the table with a loud thud.

"Wow" Densuke commented as he took another sip of juice, "Someone clearly isn't a morning person"

"He only gets like this when he sleeps in an actual bed" Zabuza said then took another sip of coffee, "The life of a missing-nin isn't all cream cakes and silk sheets you know"

"I can imagine" Densuke said as he smirked in amusement.

"Just give him a few days and he'll be back to normal" Zabuza as he snorted back a chuckle then poured a mug of coffee and placed it in front of the dead-nin.

Slowly Haku stirred as his senses alerted his brain before the teen turned his head, took hold of the mug and dragged it towards him, "Sweet nectar of the Gods! I have missed you so~"

Densuke snorted into his glass of juice at the comment and coughed a few times while Zabuza simple chuckled and went back to reading his newspaper.

"So how was your night?" Densuke asked while wiping off the juice that had dribbled down onto his chest.

"Alright" Haku said as he slowly started to wake.

"Been a long time since we've slept in decent beds" Zabuza added.

"Well, you'll get used to it" Naruto said as he and a clone placed the rest of the food on the table then sat at the table, in between Densuke and Haku, after removing his apron while the clone dispelled.

"Are you sure you should be using the Kage Bunshin so carelessly?" Zabuza asked, "I hear they require a lot of chakra"

"I-I have large reserves" Naruto stammered.

"No doubt because you are a Jinchuriki" Zabuza stated nonchalantly then took another sip of his coffee while Naruto froze in terror, Haku was wide-eyed and Densuke remained calm, but did put his hand over Naruto's and gave it a squeeze.

"Zabuza-sama!" Haku hissed with a hint of anger in his voice while his face was one of shock and disbelief.

"You and I both know that the kid would never gather the nerve to tell us. I decided to save him the trouble" Zabuza said then turned his attention to a still shell shocked Naruto, "And we don't care if you are one"

"You didn't have to be so tactless about it" Haku muttered, apparently the time he had spent around Naruto and Densuke while in Nami as well as the two week separation and near constant interrogations while confined in Konoha's ANBU Headquarters had made him more assertive.

"Naruto-kun" Haku said softly as he took Naruto's free hand in his own, "We know about you being a Jinchuriki and we don't care. I know what it is like to be an outcast for something you had no control or choice in and I sympathise"

"I don't care what those dumbasses out there think about you. I've seen how you act around others. I see the look in your eyes and I know you are not the Kyuubi" Zabuza said, "You're you and that's all I give a crap about"

"Y-You mean it?" Naruto asked.

"We do" Haku said, "We truly do"

"Toldja" Densuke said as he poured himself another glass of juice.

Naruto visibly relaxed then turned when he heard the cat flap on the front door move and saw Matsuyo saunter into the apartment.

"Did I miss anything?" The nekomata asked.

"Not much, Zabuza told Naruto they knew" Densuke commented, "Then Haku explained and comforted"

"Ah" Matsuyo said with understanding then shifted into his humanoid form, startling Zabuza and Haku causing Matsuyo to sigh and roll his eyes, "We cat demons can change forms, get over it"

"Morning, Sensei" Naruto said happily.

"Morning" Matsuyo grumbled as he took a seat next to Zabuza, poured himself a glass of milk and started lapping from it like a cat would.

"Now that we're all here, we can eat" Densuke said as he took hold of his chopsticks and tapped the tips on the table to align them, "Naruto, if you would be so kind"

"Oh, sure!" Naruto said as he started filling bowls with rice from the rice cooker, since he was sitting next to it, and handed them out.

"Itadakimasu" they all said then started eating.

"So, what's the plan for today?" Densuke asked Zabuza.

"Why are you asking me?" Zabuza asked, "I work for you, remember"

"True" Densuke said as he buttered a slice of toast, "But that only applies when we are in private company, such as the confines of this apartment, or outside the village walls. Within the walls of Konoha, you are our Sensei"

"Why did I agree to teach you brats" Zabuza grumbled.

"Because money talks" Densuke said then took a bite of his toast.

"I'm not the teaching type" Zabuza muttered.

"Than how do you explain Haku?" Densuke asked, "Isn't he your student?"

"He's an apprentice, not a student" Zabuza said, "There's a difference"

"That still doesn't change anything" Densuke said.

Zabuza grumbled in annoyance, "Fine! After breakfast we'll head out to the nearest training ground"

"It is 6:30 right now" Densuke said as he glanced at his watch, "Training Ground 32 will be free in an hour and a half"

"How far is it?" Haku asked.

"Ten minutes by roof" Densuke said, "It's either that or Training Ground 11 which is on the opposite end of the village"

"Fine. Be ready in an hour" Zabuza said causing the three teens to nod.

"Can I watch?" Matsuyo asked.

"You are supervising the installations of the new boilers" Densuke said, "I expect to have at least one up and running by the end of the day"

Matsuyo had a sour look on his face then went back to eating his fish.

"Now what?" Densuke asked with a smirk once they had reached the training grounds.

Zabuza growled under his breath, "You two enjoy tormenting me don't you?"

"Of course" Densuke said.

"You're the new guy" Naruto stated.

"Ergo, you're fresh meat" Densuke added with a smirk.

"You two would be singing a different tune if I had my sword with me" Zabuza growled.

"Now we wouldn't" Densuke said, "Naruto and I are the only ones with the balls to mess with you"

"What about Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto asked.

"Too lazy to be petty" Densuke replied.

"Kurenai-sensei?"

"She's above that sort of thing"

"Asuma-sensei?"

"He wants nothing to do with Zabuza"

"I'm standing right here!" Zabuza said.

"Then tell us what to do!" Densuke said, "You're supposed to be our sensei so start acting like one"

'I don't know the first thing about being a sensei!' Zabuza thought to himself.

"Then what the hell did you do the first time you started training Haku?" Densuke asked causing Zabuza's eyes to widen in slight shock, 'Telepath, remember?'

"Is looking into my head going to be a regular thing for you?" Zabuza asked as his eyes narrowed.

"I wasn't looking into your head, you were just thinking very loudly" Densuke said then brought everyone's attention back to the matter at hand, "So what did you do when you first started training Haku?"

"Alright, alright" Zabuza snorted, "First let's see what you brats are actually capable of. We'll start off with stamina, laps around the field until you drop"

"Alright, and while you relax, you can say hi to ANBU Operatives Neko and Risu, they'll be your watchdogs for the day" Densuke said as he jerked a thumb over his shoulder at a tree behind him before the tree rustled and said operatives dropped to the ground.

"How did you know we were in the tree?" Risu asked.

"That, my dear rodent, is for me to know and you to find out the day I decide to tell you" Densuke said before Naruto and he started jogging around the training ground's perimeter.

"You too Haku" Zabuza said, "If I'm going to be your sensei, I want to know your capabilities as well"

"Hai, Zabuza-sama" Haku said before he too started jogging.

A few hours later

"You are deadly" Zabuza said as he collapsed against a tree and slid down until he was sitting.

"Meh" Densuke said as he calmly sat down on the grass, breathing slightly deeper than normal.

"How is it that you're not tired?" Zabuza asked.

"My lungs are far more efficient at absorbing oxygen" Densuke said, "A light workout like this won't wind me that easily"

"Light workout!?" Naruto, who was coated in a thick sheen of sweat, sprawled out on his back and breathing heavily, exclaimed, "We just had to run fifty times around the training ground, do every chakra control exercise we know ten times then engage Zabuza-sensei in a one-on-one taijutsu match, where I'm pretty sure he was trying to kill me, and you call that a light workout!?"

"Mm mm-mmmm" Haku, who was lying face first on the ground, mumbled incoherently.

"What?" Naruto asked.

"I'm dying" Densuke translated then tapped his temple when Naruto looked at him curiously.

"Ughhh" Haku groaned as he turned over onto his back before his stomach growled loudly.

"Lunch anyone?" Densuke asked with amusement.

"Ooo yes!" Naruto exclaimed as he immediately sat up and rubbed his hands together, "What're we having today?"

"I didn't have time to make anything last night and we polished everything off at breakfast" Densuke said, "So we'll have to resort to take-out"

"ICHIRAKU!" Naruto exclaimed loudly.

"Alright" Densuke said with a chuckle.

"What the hell is an Ichiraku?" Zabuza asked.

"*GASP!* BLASPHEMY!" Naruto called out in horror.

"It's an excellent ramen bar in the village" Densuke said, "Lots of variety"

Naruto then appeared before the two former missing-nin and grabbed onto their arms and started dragging them out of the training ground, "YOU MUST BE ENLIGHTENED!"

"Need I mention that Naruto is a complete addict" Densuke asked with prickling amusement as he followed after them.

"BEHOLD!" Naruto exclaimed as he almost tossed Zabuza and Haku into the establishment, "The gate way to gustatory bliss!"

"Haiyo!" Teuchi said then noticed Naruto, "Ah Naruto, my favourite customer, so good to see you again"

"Oh Naruto" Densuke said as he followed Naruto in, "Your ramen addiction is truly breathtaking"

"I'M NOT AN ADDICT" Naruto yelled.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night" Densuke muttered as he snorted in amusement and took a seat.

"So what'll it be?" Ayman asked, "and who're your friends?"

"I'll have the usual" Naruto said.

"The same" Densuke said.

"Oh and that's Zabu-chan, our new sensei, and Haku-chan our new teammate!" Naruto said excitedly.

"Zabu-chan?" Zabuza muttered as his eye started twitching.

"Naruto brought them here to be enlightened" Densuke said softly.

"Plus they're new to Konoha and are living with us! Isn't that awesome!?" Naruto exclaimed.

"Well any friend of Naruto's is a friend of ours" Teuchi said as he wiped a freshly washed bowl clean, "Welcome to Ichiraku Ramen!"

"So what's their usual?" Haku asked.

"Something no normal human would be able to stomach" Ayame commented.

"Hey! I'm normal!" Naruto said.

"Says the boy who gives us enough patronage in one sitting to buy the Fire Capital" Ayame said with an amused raised eyebrow.

Naruto narrowed his eyes at the young woman as his lips pursed and his nostrils flared while a bowl of steaming hot ramen was placed in front of him.

"You're lucky your dad has such good timing" Naruto said as he split his wooden chopsticks and promptly began inhaling the bowl's contents.

"Here you go" Teuchi said as he placed a bowl in front of Densuke.

"Ahh, thank you" Densuke said as he licked his lips at the sight of the buttered corn ramen and inhaled deeply, "Mmmm, exquisite"

"So… are you just going to sit there or are you going to order something?" Ayame asked.

"I-I'll have the buttered corn" Haku said.

"Surprise me" Zabuza said more out of laziness.

"Haiyo!" Teuchi said and immediately set to work.

A few minutes later, Ayame placed the bowls of ramen in front of the two men and as she placed the disposable chopsticks on top of the bowls, she leaned forward and in a low but deadly voice said, "Hurt Naruto in any way an you will answer to me personally"

"Enjoy your meal!" Ayame said happily after she stood up straight and went back to work.

'What the hell was that?' Zabuza thought to himself.

'There are several people within the village who truly care for Naruto's well-being' Densuke replied, 'Naruto just doesn't know how far they are willing to go to ensure his safety'

'You people are weird' Zabuza thought as he tasted his ramen, 'Not bad'

Densuke mentally chuckled and smirked as he emptied his bowl, noisily put his bowl on the counter and said, "Hit me"

"Ooooo, I am a happy, happy bunny" Naruto cooed in delight as he pat his stomach while the group walked around the village.

"You damn well better be after twenty-three bowls of ramen" Densuke said.

"Hey! You had twenty-two!" Naruto exclaimed.

"That's because my body can flush out the excess salt easily" Densuke said, "How your heart hasn't detonated from the ridiculous amount of salt you put into your system is beyond me"

"I'm just awesome like that" Naruto said, "Besides, it's not like I'm having ramen everyday like I used to"

"That's because I refused to make it and would make you try the things I made" Densuke said.

"I'm glad you did" Naruto said then turned around to face Zabuza and Haku, "So! Whose up for the Konoha Grand Tour? Be advised that you can't say no"

"I would like that very much" Haku said.

"Might as well" Zabuza grunted.

"AWESOME!" Naruto said happily.

"Can we be sure to do it systematically this time, because with me it was very haphazard" Densuke said.

"I was excited!" Naruto said.

"Naruto, you were like a squirrel on a sugar rush" Densuke said.

"We'll then aren't you glad I don't drink coffee on a regular basis" Naruto commented.

"Oh God forbid" Densuke said in exasperation.

"Why, what happens when Naruto-kun has coffee?" Haku asked.

"He starts tap dancing on the ceiling… and that's without the tree walking technique" Densuke said.

"That was one time!" Naruto said.

"Once bitten, twice shy" Densuke stated.

"You two are weird" Zabuza said.

"Better get used to it, Zabu-chan" Densuke said as he smirked causing the provisional Jounin's eye to twitch while Naruto and Densuke laughed heartily as they lead the duo on the tour.

Five weeks later.

"Woo, that was a good meal!" Naruto said happily as he patted his stomach, "Nothing like a hot bowl or twenty of ramen to sum up a good day's training"

"It's amazing how you and Densuke-sama are able to consume so much in a single sitting" Haku said as he walked alongside his teammate, "Though, if one thinks about it, it's understandable how your bodies' need to consume more in order to quickly replenish your high chakra reserves"

Naruto simply hummed then stopped and looked around, "Where is Den-chan anyway?"

"He said he had an errand to attend to" Haku said, "Left right after he finished lunch. He did mention it and that he would catch up with us later"

"Was I still eating when Den-chan said that?" Naruto asked.

"Yes" Haku replied.

"Yeah, I wasn't paying attention. I tend to get a one track mind when ramen is involved" Naruto explained before he folded his arms and sighed in minor exasperation, "Rocks are not square, Konohamaru!"

Suddenly there was a large puff of smoke from a rather squarish rock from behind Naruto and when said blond and his teammate turned around they noticed three shadows from within the smoke.

"The mathematical genius who will calculate your demise, Udon!" said a young, brown haired teen wearing glasses, a pair of goggles over his forehead, a navy blue shirt and kaki shorts.

"The mystical femme fatale who will strike you down with her deadly beauty, Moegi!" said a girl with orange hair tied into two large pigtails, wearing a red tanktop over a pink t-shirt and a pair of beige shorts.

"The blazing hotshot who will destroy all, Konohamaru!" said a boy with short, spiky brown hair and wearing a yellow shirt with the Konoha symbol in red, grey shorts and a long blue scarf.

Once the smoke cleared, the trio struck a pose and loudly called out, "WE ARE THE KONOHAMARU CORPS!"

"4.2" Naruto commented dryly.

Immediately the trio collapsed.

"Aw come on, Naruto-niichan" Konohamaru whined, "We put so much effort into that! Come on, be generous!"

"I was being generous" Naruto stated, "There was too much smoke, the intros need a lot of work and rocks aren't square!"

"Awwww" the three teens said dejectedly.

"Will you at least play ninja with us?" Konohamaru asked.

"I'm afraid that may be difficult, Naruto-kun has some business he needs to attend to" Haku said, "we need to prepare for the upcoming Chunin Exams"

"Who're you?" Konohamaru asked then gave Naruto a sly look, "Is she your girlfriend?"

"Haku-chan's my teammate, not my girlfriend" Naruto said.

"Besides" Haku said sweetly before his voice turned deep and masculine, "I'm a boy"

"EHH!?" The three teens exclaimed as they were stunned into shocked silence.

"He… he's cuter than Moegi" the Hokage's thirteen year old grandson muttered then bristled when a feeling of dread washed over him.

Slowly looking over his shoulder, Konohamaru's heart was gripped by intense fear at the sight of a very angry Moegi, with a dark aura surrounding her, glaring at the teen.

"Allow me to give you one piece of advice for dealing with this kind of situation" Naruto said.

"Will I live?" Konohamaru asked.

"Maybe" Naruto said.

"Maybe's better than a painful death" Konohamaru said.

"Run" Naruto said before Konohamaru bolted.

"GET BACK HERE!" Moegi roared as she chased the teen down the street.

"Konohamaru-kun! Moegi-chan!" Udon called out as he chased after the two.

"It's times like these they make me glad I care not for the opposite sex" Naruto sighed.

"Amen" Haku said and was about to add to the comment when a cry from Konohamaru reached their ears.

"KONOHAMARU-KUN!" They heard Moegi scream.

"Let go of him!" Udon yelled.

Immediately Naruto's and Haku's eyes widened before they bolted towards the scene of the commotion.

"Let me go!" Konohamaru yelled as he was lifted off the ground by his shirt.

"Didn't your mother teach you to apologise for bumping into people?" Asked an older teen wearing a black, baggy, full body suit with a red and yellow circle on the front, a black hood with cat-like ears, a triangular design on his face made with purple face-paint, a pair of black gloves on his hands and a large bandaged package on his back.

"Put him down, Kankuro, we do not need to cause any unnecessary trouble" said a young woman with green eyes and blonde hair, which was gathered into four ponytails and wore a single light purple-coloured, off-the-shoulders garment that extended to halfway down her thighs, with a scarlet sash tied around her waist as well as fishnet worn over her shoulders and legs.

"HEY! PUT HIM DOWN!" Naruto roared as he saw what was happening.

"Heh, looks like trouble's already found us, Temari" Kankuro said as he watched Naruto charge at him.

"PUT HIM DOWN!" Naruto yelled and just as he was about to enter combat range, he suddenly stopped moving mid-stride.

"Naruto-kun?" Haku asked.

"I… can't… move" Naruto growled through gritted teeth as his arms and legs shook with strain.

Immediately Haku faced Kankuro with hardened eyes, "Release him. Release him and Konohamaru-san or there will be consequences"

"Ummm… nah!" Kankuro said as he balled up his fist and threw it at Konohamaru.

Suddenly, a gust of wind blew through the alley as a hand wrapped around the hurtling fist and stopped it dead.

"You know, I really would advise against doing that" Densuke said as he held onto the fist, the other hand in his pocket.

"DEN-CHAN!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Densuke-sama!" Haku said with a bit more reservation.

"SHISHO!" The Konohamaru Corps cried out.

'He came out of nowhere!' Temari thought to herself as did Sasuke, who was overlooking from a rooftop.

"You alright?" Densuke asked Konohamaru.

"Uh, yeah… I'm ok" Konohamaru said, still hanging by his shirt.

"Ah! Be honest, your answer will have appropriate consequences" Densuke said.

"Honestly, I'm ok. A little rattled, but ok" Konohamaru said.

"Alright then" Densuke said, "Now maybe this will teach you to be more aware of your surroundings, *smirk* even if you are being hunted down"

"I- wha- how did you?" Kankuro stammered with his jaw hanging.

"Aww would you look at that" Densuke said with amused condescension, "He looks like a… slapped mackerel"

Konohamaru, Moegi and Udon immediately started snickering while Naruto and Haku failed miserably at trying to steel their emotions.

"Now then" Densuke said as he calmly lowered Kankuro's fist, "Would you be a gem and kindly put the Hokage's civilian grandson down? I really don't think you want to start off your first visit to Konoha with an international incident. I mean, can Suna really afford to put another nail in their ever growing economic coffin?"

Immediately Kankuro release Konohamaru who quickly scampered behind Naruto and Haku.

"Excellent!" Densuke said with a smile, "Now as a member of Konoha's Shinobi Forces, I welcome you to our village, but please try to maintain some sense of decorum. You are meant to be representatives of your village during these exams, try to act like one"

Kankuro, still somewhat dumbfounded, merely nodded his head.

"And you?" Densuke asked Temari.

"Uh… yes" Temari said.

"And what about you?" Densuke asked as he looked at a nearby tree.

Everyone looked at Densuke with slight confusion before taking a startled step back when a swirl of sand formed in front of Densuke and a fair skin teen with short, spiky, auburn hair, green eyes with black eye rings and the kanji for "love" carved on the left side of his forehead appeared. He wore a black full body suit with t-shirt-like sleeves, ¾-length legs, an open neck, a white cloth over his right shoulder and the left side of his hips, and a wide leather band system over the left shoulder and right side of his hips which was used to carry a large gourd.

Temari gasped as she took a step back.

"G-Gaara" Kankuro stuttered as fear gripped him

"How did you know I was there?" The teen asked in a monotone drawl, "I was concealing my chakra"

"Wasn't that hard" Densuke said, "To everyone else you may have appeared to have the chakra signal of a small animal or simply none at all, but to me you were like a signal beacon"

"Who are you?" The teen asked.

"When one asked the the name of another, it is polite to offer one's own first" Densuke stated.

The teen was silent for a moment before he said, "Subaku no Gaara"

"Sentou Densuke" Densuke said and immediately Gaara cringed as his gripped the side of his head with one hand and hunched over slightly.

"What have you done?" Gaara hissed, "M-mother… mother is… angry with you. Very angry"

Densuke raised an eyebrow before leaning forward and saying, "Tell Mother she's wrong. Now leave my sight"

Gaara groaned through gritted teeth as he swayed while holding his head before disappearing, along with Temari and Kankuro in a swirl of sand.

"What the hell was that?" Naruto asked.

"Konohamaru" Densuke said seriously, "I want you, Moegi and Udon to head home immediately"

"But-"

"No buts" Densuke said, "Your safety is paramount. Now head home, do you understand?"

"Hai" the three younger teens said dejectedly as they walked away.

"Den-chan what is-" Naruto started, but was cut off when Densuke put his hand out to stop him and whistled loudly before an ANBU operative dropped down in front of them.

"Are you aware of the situation?" Densuke asked.

The operative nodded.

"The Hokage's grandson and his friends are on their way home, please make sure they reach safely" Densuke said.

The operative nodded again before jumping onto a roof and out of sight.

"Densuke-sama, is everything alright?" Haku asked.

"No" Densuke said, "That boy, Gaara, be very weary of him. If you ever encounter him while you're alone, you are to drop whatever you are doing, turn around and head home immediately. If you encounter him in a group, take the long way around. Under no circumstances are you to spend an extended amount of time around him"

"Why?" Naruto asked.

Before answering, Densuke gave the area a quick scan of the area using his various skills to make sure there were no prying eyes, ears or devices.

"Gaara is a Jinchuriki" Densuke said, shocking the other two males.

"WHAT!?" Haku barked.

"He… he's like me?" Naruto asked.

"Yes" Densuke said, "But unlike you, he has a deep seated hatred of the world that has been twisted into madness. I suspect Shukaku has a crushing grip on the boy's psyche"

"Shukaku?" Naruto asked.

"The Ichibi" Haku said.

"Exactly" Densuke said.

"So that's what's inside him?" Naruto asked.

"Yes, and with his psyche as fragile as it is, he's on a veritable hair-trigger" Densuke explained.

"But what about during the exams?" Haku asked.

"He will be less likely to act out" Densuke said, "What with the increased security and the invigilators, who will no doubt be Jounin"

"Assuming he has enough sanity to come to such a realisation" Haku commented.

"Indeed" Densuke said before a slightly shaken Naruto wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled the vampire close, "Naruto?"

"I was just thinking" Naruto said softly, "If I had never met you, would I have succumbed to madness like Gaara?"

"Naruto-kun, there's no way of-" Haku started but was cut off.

"Don't dwell on such things" Densuke said soothingly as he returned Naruto's embrace and buried his nose in soft blond hair, "Be grateful for what you already have as opposed to fretting over what could or couldn't have been"

"Yeah, I guess you're right" Naruto said as he smiled into Densuke's chest.

A week later.

"So today is the big day" Densuke said as Naruto, Haku and himself walked towards the Academy.

"Indeed it is" Haku, who had opened up a lot during the previous months and a half, said, "Though I admit I'm both excited and anxious"

"We feel the same, Haku-chan" Naruto said eagerly, "Just don't let it overwhelm you. Be calm and collected and you'll be a proper Konoha Chunin in no time!"

"Speaking of Konoha" Densuke said as the academy came into view, "How has your time as a legal shinobi been treating you?"

"I can't complain" Haku stated.

"And how do you feel about having a safe and stable place to call home?" Densuke asked.

"I love it" Haku said with a sigh, "It is an unbelievable relief knowing that we no longer have to run and have to constantly look over our shoulders. Even Zabuza-sama has calmed down a lot and is no longer as tense as he normally was"

"I am glad" Densuke said as they came to a stop just outside the academy gates, "I just hope he doesn't become too relaxed, the last thing we need is a shinobi of his calibre becoming soft"

"Me becoming soft is like Blondie having a philosophical and metaphysical epiphany" Zabuza said as he approached the trio.

"Stop calling me Blondie, Zabu-chan!" Naruto growled.

"Stop calling me Zabu-chan, Blondie" Zabuza retorted.

"THAT'S IT, I'M GIVING HIM A HUG!" Naruto said as he started advancing on the muscular nin.

"Bring it, cupcake" Zabuza growled as he drew the katana, a temporary replacement for Kubikiri Hocho, he had strapped to his back, but before the two could get within striking distance, Densuke appeared in between, his arms stretched out either side, stopping the two.

"Girls! Girls! There's no need to bicker, you're both pretty" Densuke said.

"Why do you always say that when they bicker?" Haku asked; clearly this wasn't the first time something like this had happened.

"Because I fear that if I told them to 'Whip 'em out and measure', they might actually do it and I really don't want to go through such an experience" Densuke said, "Especially out here in public"

"You know, that's not a bad idea" Naruto said then started fumbling with his zipper.

"Oh it is on, pen cap" Zabuza growled.

"WHAT!?"

"ENOUGH!" Densuke bellowed with enough telepathic reinforcement to cause the two a momentary yet intense headache.

"Ow" the duo groaned.

"What have I told you about picking stupid fights?" Densuke scolded and promptly smacked Naruto upside his head.

"OW! Brain damage!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Walk it off!" Densuke said then glared at Zabuza, "and you! You should be ashamed of yourself; picking fights with a child half your age, it's disgraceful!"

Haku giggled, "I don't think I've ever seen Zabuza-sama like this"

Densuke turned to face his other teammate and sighed in exasperation, "Honestly it's like living with a pair of prepubescent brothers"

Densuke then turned around and sighed again when he saw Zabuza, with a hand on Naruto's head, holding the blonde back, while said blond attempted to push forward, his arms flailing wildly.

"Oh for God's sake" Densuke said then walked towards the duo and as he pasted behind Naruto, grabbed onto the blonde's ear and began dragging him towards the academy.

"Owowowowow! Apples! APPLES!" Naruto yelled in pain while Haku looked on in amusement and Zabuza smirked in triumph.

"Those two make quite a pair, don't they?" Haku asked.

"Weird is what they are" Zabuza muttered.

Haku giggled, "Admit it, you enjoy their company"

"Tolerate more like" Zabuza growled softly.

Haku giggled again, "At least they're better then the other crazies we've seen in this place"

Zabuza simply grunted and disappeared in a puff of smoke and mist.

"Wow" Naruto stated as he saw the large crowd of people jamming the hallway.

"I wonder what's going on?" Haku asked.

"Hmm" Densuke mused as he did a quick scan of the minds in front of him, smirked then snorted, "Idiots"

"What's wrong?" Naruto asked.

"You'll see, just follow my lead" Densuke said as he started pushing through the crowd.

Naruto and Haku simply shrugged at each other and followed.

"Why are you doing this?" Asked a girl with black hair tied into Chinese-style buns on either side of her head with short fringe-bangs falling over her Hitai-ite and wore a pink sleeveless blouse and dark green pants as she helped a teenage boy with a bowl haircut, very large eyebrows and wearing green spandex up off the floor.

"Because we can" said a Genin who looked a lot like Izumo.

"And to tell you weaklings not to bother with the exams" said a young Kotetsu lookalike.

"… and that's when I said, 'Bitch! No one ever understands the words that come out of your mouth'" Densuke said as he pushed thought to the front and laughed loudly along with Naruto and Haku, but abruptly stopped when a hand came in contact with his chest.

"Where do you think you're going?" mini-Kotetsu asked.

"Uhh, excuse you" Densuke said as he raised an eyebrow and remove Kotetsu's hand from his chest, "but unlike the cannon fodder behind us, we have real work to do"

"Yeah right, like we haven't heard that one before" mini-Izumo said.

"Well then" Densuke said as a scroll suddenly appeared in his hand, "When the Hokage asks why a priority theta missive to the academy headmaster is being returned to sender, I'll point him in your direction"

"Th-Theta!?" Izumo choked.

"Yes" Densuke said.

After a second's hesitation, the duo immediately stepped aside allowing Densuke, Naruto and Haku through.

"That was too easy" Naruto said as they walked up the spiral staircase to the upper floor just loud enough to be heard by Izumo and Kotetsu.

"Simple minds, simple tactics" Densuke said as the scroll in his hand shattered in a shimmer of sparkles, "Though they do make excellent gatekeepers"

Izumo's and Kotetsu's jaws dropped as the trio disappeared up the stairs.

"Wow" Naruto commented as they entered room 301.

"I knew the Chunin Exams were an international affair, but not this international" Haku said as he saw the number of people and various Hitai-ites in the room.

"Suna, Ame, Kusa, Taki, Kumo, Getsu; oooh I wonder if they have any peaches with them" Densuke said then furrowed his brows when his eyes landed on three Genin with musical note symbols on their Hitai-ites, "Hmm, I don't seem to recognise that symbol"

"Hmm?" Naruto grunted as he looked in the direction Densuke was looking in and immediately zeroed in, for reasons completely unknown to him, on one particular member of the trio.

The teen looked slightly taller than Densuke, with spiky, dark hair and dark eyes. He wore a beige shirt with two black stripes and three prints of the kanji for death down the front with a Hitai-ite that had an attached happuri under the cloth rather than connected to the metal plate and a snake patterned scarf around his neck.

Naruto couldn't stop staring as his eyes widened, his cheeks darkened, his jaw slackened, his heart spread up, his breathing became heavy and his palms turned sweaty.

"Naruto" Densuke said as he looked at the blonde with amusement, "Is that desire I sense coming off you?"

Immediately Naruto snapped out of his trance as he looked away, his hand gripping his chest tightly, his eyes wide in mortification while panting.

"Den-chan, I'm sorry! I don't know what came over me, I-"

"He certainly is easy on the eyes" Densuke said as his eyes took in the teen's appearance, "And it appears I've succumb to the same feeling you have"

"Huh?" Naruto grunted then noticed the tint in Densuke's cheeks, the slight predatory grin on his face and the lust swimming in his eyes.

"He certainly does look delicious and he likes sausage" Densuke said with a lustful growl in his voice as he licked his lips, "I think I'll go say hello"

"Wait! Den-chan! Wha-?" Naruto said before the entire room suddenly went silent.

Abumi Zaku's self-preservation instincts were going haywire. One moment he was sizing up the other Genin who were entering the room from the back of the lecture theatre, tuning out the cacophony of voices surrounding him; the next the entire room suddenly went silent, but not only that, they stopped moving mid-…whatever-they-were-doing-at-that-moment.

"Hi there" Zaku heard causing him to yelp and stumble, nearly falling over the table that was behind him.

Densuke chuckled from his spot on the table that was one row above where the teen and, presumably, his teammates were standing as he watched said teen flail about in an attempt to regain his balance, an act that only made him more appealing.

Once Zaku regained his footing, he looked in the direction the voice came from before sheer terror gripped his entire being.

"Please don't kill me" Zaku gasped out as he tried backing away from the teen only for his back to hit the wall.

"Now why would I want to do that?" Densuke asked with curiosity.

"B-b-because you're a- you're a-"

"I'm a… what?" Densuke asked as he rested his chin in his hand and his elbow on the side of his knee, since he was sitting in the lotus position.

"Vampire" Zaku gasped as his entire body shook with fear.

"My, my" Densuke said as he sat up straight and let his legs dangle over the edge if the table, "that certainly is very perceptive of you. No one has ever been able to discern what I am in the the time it took you. You really must be something special"

Zaku let out a shuddered whimper of terror.

"Fret not, I have no intention of harming you now or anytime in the future" Densuke said, "Besides, what vampire in their right minds would try and kill someone while surrounded by a hundred and fifty people?"

"Th-th-th-then wh-why are you doing this?" Zaku asked.

"To introduce myself" Densuke said as he popped a cool smile, "Sentou Densuke, sexy vampire extraordinaire"

Zaku calmed down slightly as he looked at Densuke oddly.

"So what's your name?" Densuke asked.

"A-Abumi Zaku" Zaku said.

"Abumi Zaku" Densuke repeated, "I like it"

Zaku couldn't help but blush at the compliment.

"Now then, back to the matter at hand" Densuke said as he pointed to Naruto, "See that blond over there?"

Zaku nodded as he looked in Naruto's direction.

"That's Naruto, my boyfriend" Densuke said, "Go on, say Hi"

Zaku offered a light wave causing Naruto's face to light up as he gave a shy, yet oddly hopeful wave back.

Zaku couldn't help but smile warmly at the gesture causing Naruto to blush, turn away and start poking his fingers together much like Hinata used to.

"Cute, isn't he?" Densuke said.

"Yeah" Zaku muttered before catching himself and turning his attention back to Densuke, who was smirking in amusement.

"Now see the thing is, he wants to get into your pants" Densuke said as he slid off the table and approached Zaku, "and so do I"

Zaku's eyes went wide as he had a minor freak out.

"So while you're here, if you're ever in the mood to help… improve international relations, do look us up" Densuke said in a low seductive growl, "We'd be more than willing to… negotiate"

With that Densuke suddenly disappeared and reappeared next to Naruto while the room suddenly burst into sound and activity as everyone was suddenly unfrozen.

"I want him" Densuke said in a soft growl that was loud enough for only Naruto to hear, "I want him and we shall have him"

"Den-chan, how could you do something like that?" Naruto chastised softly, "And what happened to everyone?"

"Don't be afraid to desire, Naruto, I certainly don't" Densuke said, "You want him, go get him. I certainly plan to. Also I telepathically froze everyone, although it was a bit strenuous"

"What!?" Naruto whispered.

"Mmmm" Densuke said as he licked his lips again, "Oh yes, before these exams are over I most certainly plan to have him in our bed, writhing and moaning our names in ecstasy"

Naruto blushed darkly as the image of Densuke, Zaku and himself together popped into his mind and couldn't help the predatory spark of lust and desire that ignited within him.

"What's his name?" Naruto asked.

"Abumi Zaku" Densuke said.

"Zaku" Naruto muttered and gasped lightly as a shudder ran through his body, "I like it"

Densuke chuckled softly and started allowing his mind to wander to very inappropriate places, but was cut short, causing him to frown, when a pulse of negative emotions, particularly anger and annoyance, caught his attention, coming from the other side of the door Naruto, Haku and himself came through earlier.

"Time and time again you repetitively prove, without fail, that you are completely incapable of not stabbing yourself in the foot" Yuu scolded as he and the rest of team 7 entered the examination room, "I mean was that ridiculous spat really necessary?"

"The weaklings must know their place" Sasuke grunted.

"Oh who gives a shit!?" Yuu yelled then rounded on Sakura, cutting her off before she had a chance to defend Sasuke, "And do not get me started on how utterly useless you are"

"Rough career?" Densuke asked.

Turning to look at Naruto and Densuke, Yuu's eyes welled up and his lower lip started quivering; a very uncharacteristic action, before he said, "I need anti-psychotics"

"Aww, poor baby" Naruto cooed in amusement.

"It's not funny!" Yuu cried out on the verge of tears, "Between Broody Tebooty and the Bubblegum Banshee I'm being driven insane!"

"Why not just put in for a transfer?" Haku asked.

"Because there aren't any reserve Genin to swap out with and all active teams that I could swap with are already too well established" Yuu explained in dismay, "I swear, as soon as I get my Chunin promotion I'm washing my hands of this shit-fest of a team"

"Isn't that a bit harsh?" Naruto asked.

"You have no idea what I've been suffering through" Yuu seethed.

"Well just hang there" Densuke said, "and be strong, it's all part of being a ninja"

Yuu just sighed in exasperation as he dropped into a chair and rested his head on the table.

"SASUKE-KUN~!" A shrill cry was heard as Ino essentially wrapped herself around Sasuke.

"Oh dear God" Densuke muttered in displeasure as he plugged his ears with his fingers.

"Troublesome" Shikamaru said as he and Choji entered the room.

"More like ear-splitting" Densuke said while Ino and Sakura started arguing over Sasuke.

"HEY! Looks like we're all here!" Kiba said loudly as he was followed by Hinata and Shino.

"HINA-CHAN!" Naruto said happily.

"H-Hello, N-Naruto-kun" Hinata said as she blushed and started pushing her fingers together, "D-D-Densuke-s-san"

"Eh?" Naruto grunted in confusion and leaning in close to Densuke so he could whisper, "What the hell happened to Hina-chan?"

"She's being a bloody genius" Densuke replied.

Naruto merely blinked in confusion.

"What is the number one rule when engaging an enemy?" Densuke asked.

"Yours or the Academy's?" Naruto replied.

"Mine" Densuke said.

"Never underestimate your opponent" Naruto stated then paused as his brain made sense of the supposed non-sequitur before his eyes widened in realisation, "Oh she's brilliant"

"And she's been doing it ever since she left the Academy" Densuke said.

"Her mind scares me" Naruto said as he took everything he knew about Hinata into account.

"May Hell have mercy on whoever earns her fury" Densuke said with an amused smirk.

"You know you really shouldn't make so much noise" the Rookie 11 plus Haku heard and when they turned their attention to the source, they saw a spectacled man with onyx eyes, ash-grey hair that was tied in a ponytail with bangs framing either side of his forehead. He wore a dark purple shirt with a high collar, a white under-shirt, fingerless gloves with armoured plates on the back of the hand, a white cloth waistband worn at an angle, dark purple pants and blue sandals.

"Who the hell are you?" Kiba said loudly.

"Yakushi Kabuto, and you really should keep it down" Kabuto said as he gestured over his shoulder.

Everyone looked and noticed all the other Genin levelling glares at them, killing intent saturating the air.

"Pfft! Amateurs" Densuke snorted.

Haku giggled, "Even Zabuza-sama is more intimidating than them"

"I bet you could put them in their place" Naruto said with a smirk.

"Damn right" Densuke said.

"Why are you talking to us?" Shikamaru asked.

"Well I know this is your first time taking the exams, so I thought I'd lend you guys a hand. I've taken these exams before so I kinda know what to expect" Kabuto said.

"Really?" Naruto asked, "How many times?"

"This is my seventh attempt" Kabuto said.

Immediately Densuke, Naruto and Haku went on guard and it didn't help that Densuke couldn't read Kabuto's mind. There were just some people who were born with an immunity to telepathic intrusion sans touch telepathy.

"Wow, you must really suck" Kiba said.

"In any case, I thought I'd help you guys out" Kabuto said.

"How?" Shikamaru asked.

"With these" Kabuto said as he pulled out a pack of blank cards.

"Huh?" Sakura grunted.

"They're data storage cards that are locked to my chakra. If I pour a little chakra into the card, the information stored in it is revealed" Kabuto said as he did as explained and a map of the elemental nations appeared along with details on the number of participants from each country, "See?"

"Wow" Haku said as he examined the information, "There's a lot of participants in this exam"

"I also have information on said participants" Kabuto said.

"How did you-" Densuke started to asked but was very rudely cut-off by Sasuke.

"Subaku no Gaara, Sentou Densuke, Uzumaki Naruto and Hyuuga Neji" Sasuke said, a little too eagerly.

"You already know their names, that's no fun" Kabuto said as sifted through the cards and pulled one out.

"Ok, Sabaku no Gaara, 15 years old, hails from Sunagakure, had completed 0 D-rank, 9 C-rank, 8 B-rank, 14 A-rank, 3 S-rank!" Kabuto said in shock, "And all without being injured once!"

"What!?" exclaimed the louder rookies while Densuke's eyes narrowed fiercely.

"Now then, Sentou Densuke" Kabuto said as he took out another card only to have it and the deck disappear from his hands.

"Absolutely not!"Densuke said as he pulsed his youki through the deck, corrupting the chakra within, causing the whole thing to vaporise in a burst of purple fire.

"What the hell'd you do that for?!" Kiba yelled.

"Because unlike most of you, I have the Konohagakure Village Charter as well as the International Protocol Standard for Shinobi Villages memorised in their entirety" Densuke said as he levelled Kabuto with a hard glare, "Therefore, I know, for a fact, that a shinobi's personnel file is classified a full tier above their rank. So that begs the question, how did you get ahold of this information, especially the mission dossiers?"

Kabuto froze for a moment before quickly gathering his composure, "A-as I told you before, this is my seventh time participating in the Chunin Selection Exams and there are many repeating participants so I know about them through repeat performances"

"That doesn't explain the details you possess regarding first time participants such as us" Densuke said as he eye narrowed.

"Uhh" Kabuto said shakily as he quickly tried to come up with an answer only to duck to the side when a teen who had bandages covering most of his face with his left eye uncovered, wearing a large poncho with long sleeves, a snake patterned scarf around his neck and a straw raincoat protruding from the back of his scarf tried punching him with an arm clad in a porous gauntlet, only to miss.

"Ahhh!" Densuke cried out as he covered his ears, face scrunched in pain, while Akamaru howled and Kabuto suddenly collapsed to the ground and started vomiting.

Densuke growled in anger as his eyes flashed red for a moment before he started marching towards the bandaged nin only to stop in surprise when Zaku was suddenly in between Densuke and the other nin, arms spread wide and an utterly terrified look on his face.

"Y-y-y-you will not hurt him!" Zaku said, his voice shaking horrendously.

Densuke growled again, but then sighed and stood down when he sensed the determination in Zaku underneath the terror he was feeling.

"Very well" Densuke said then softly said, "But only because its you"

Zaku's eyes widened slightly before the door at the front of the room banged open and Ibiki walked into the room followed by several Chunin.

"ALRIGHT YOU MAGGOTS! SHUT THE HELL UP AND SIT THE FUCK DOWN" The Ibiki roared, "The name's Morino Ibiki, I'm the proctor for this exam and your worst nightmare"

Densuke rolled his eyes at the intimidation tactic, 'Pfft, amateur'

Once everyone was seated in their assigned seats, Densuke took a look around and looked impressed when he realised that no two teammates were seated next to each other.

After the rules had been explained, Densuke sat back in his chair as the test began.

"What to do? What to do?" Densuke mused, sure he could easily answer all these questions like Sakura was doing, but he actually wanted to fulfil the true focus of the exams.

'Den-chan?' Densuke heard Naruto's mental whisper, 'Den-chan! DEN-CHAN!'

'OWW! Goddammit Naruto, you don't need to think so loud, I can hear you just fine' Densuke winced as he massaged his temples.

'Oh, sorry' Naruto thought.

'So, have you figured out the true purpose of the test?' Densuke asked.

'Uhh, cheat without getting caught?' Naruto asked.

'Good, you're remembering to bring your brain along more often' Densuke projected and snorted in amusement at Naruto's mental huff and muttering a of 'dumb smart guys', 'Haku, can you hear me?'

'Hai, Densuke-sama' Haku replied.

'So what's the plan?' Naruto asked, 'I'm pretty sure you could answer the questions easily on your own'

'That I can, but it wouldn't be utilising the attributes under testing' Densuke said, 'Plus I feel like messing with the invigilators'

'What do you have in mind?' Naruto asked as he smirked deviously, making the others around him sub-consciously nervous.

'Haku, how good are you at creating your mirrors at a distance?' Densuke asked.

'The smaller they are, the easier it is' Haku said.

'What about three pairs of glasses?' Densuke asked.

'Manageable' Haku replied.

'Excellent' Densuke said as he took out his pair of glasses, 'Naruto, Haku, I want you to take out your pairs of glasses and put them on. Then I want you, Haku, to make them such that you two see what I see'

'Got it' Naruto and Haku replied as they put on they respective, non-corrective glasses, Haku's being black and dark blue wire frame glasses, and waited as frost coated the lenses and solidified into crystal clear coating.

'Now what?' Naruto asked.

'Now I use Astral Projection to get our answers' Densuke said with a smirk.

'What's Astral Projection?' Naruto asked.

'It's a hight level combination of telepathy and telekinesis where I can project my mind and senses at a distance and even give the projection physical form if necessary'

'Huh?' Naruto asked.

'Think, a kind Yurei Bunshin' Densuke said, 'It's like the Kage Bunshin, except I get my information in real time. Then there's also the fact that since they are made from Youki, only those I allow or are sensitive to youki can see them'

'That sounds extremely useful' Haku said.

'It is, but there are limitations' Densuke said, 'The more projections I create, the less energy I can put in each of them and the smaller their range of movement. Of course five non-corporeal projections floating around the room is child's play'

'Well then what are you waiting for!? I want chaos!' Naruto thought giddily.

Densuke snorted softly as he focused his mind before five semi-transparent, purple apparitions of Densuke appeared.

'Get to work' Densuke projected causing the apparitions to smirk and float off around the room.

'Woah' Naruto cooed in awe as a projection floated in front of him and waved.

'Oh my!' Haku commented.

'Save your 'oooos and ahhhs' for later, we have a test to finish' Densuke said as he began writing whatever the three projections he sent to spy on the Chunin plants sent back to him allowing Naruto and Haku to copy since they could see what Densuke was writing through the glasses.

Meanwhile, the remaining two projections were fooling around, one was pulling faces in front of Ibiki, as well as signing out a message to the man; while the other projection was floating upside down in front of Zaku, grinning and waving at the annoyed teen, who was clearly trying to ignore the semi-transparent projection.

"Alright time's up! Pens down!" Ibiki barked then noticed the stragglers started writing frantically, "I said, Pens Down!"

Some of the stragglers stopped while the rest kept writing even more frantically.

"Number 54!" Ibiki barked, "Your teammates can thank you for failing their exam, get out!"

The Genin in question protested loudly as he and his teammates were escorted out by the invigilators.

"Anyone else want to keep writing?" Ibiki asked with a malicious grin causing all remaining stragglers to slam their pens down, "Thought so"

"I'm bored" Densuke said as he, Naruto and Haku followed the remaining candidates to Training Ground 44. After the written test, Ibiki had given the final question under the conditions that it was optional where refusing to take it failed you and your team and getting the question wrong barred you from ever rising in rank. Needless to say, once the Chunin plants 'opted' out of the question, several others started leaving as well. That is until Sasuke made a bold and rather asinine declaration about doing whatever it took to achieve his ambition, frankly Densuke couldn't be bothered to pay further attention and turned his hearing off until Anko burst in through the window and in a grand display declared herself the invigilators of the second task then told the Genin to meet her in front of training ground 44.

"So do any of you know anything about Training Ground 44?" Haku asked.

"Nope" Densuke said.

"I think it's called the Forest of Death" Naruto said.

"Ooh, that sounds like fun" Densuke said, his interest suddenly peaked.

"Figures you'd find something like that fun" Naruto said as he rolled his eyes while he and the rest of the Genin candidates came to a stop in front of the Forest of Death.

"What can I say? I need some form of excitement in my life" Densuke said then smirked mischievously as he looked at Haku, "Speaking of excitement, the next time you and Zabuza decide to go at it, please be a bit more quiet or at least use a privacy Jutsu. I could hear the two of you during my shower and I do not like having to take a cold shower first thing in the morning"

Naruto as confused for a few moments before he noticed Haku blush and look away sheepishly causing the gears in his head to slot into place and squeal to escape his lips, "Oh my God! You two finally did it? How was it? Was he rough? Is he big? Did it hurt?"

"Uhh, Naruto?" Densuke said.

"Hm?" Naruto grunted while looking at Haku eagerly.

"Wrong roll assignment" Densuke said.

Naruto looked confused as he looked at Densuke, but when he turned back to Haku and saw the smug look on the ice-nin's face, the blonde's eyes widened as a spurt of blood erupted from his nose and a perverse giggle escaped his lips.

"Oh that is sooo naughty" Naruto giggled and continued giggling until Densuke's hand shot out and caught, between two fingers, the Kunai that was aimed at Naruto.

"You've got a lotta nerve not paying attention to what I'm saying" Anko said to Naruto then glanced at Densuke, "Nice reflexes, by the way"

"Thanks" Densuke said as he handed the Kunai back.

"Now then" Anko said as she turned back to Naruto and leaned in close a sadistic glint in her eyes, "What was so damn interesting that had you giggling like a slutty schoolgirl?"

Naruto blinked a few times before pointing at Haku and saying, "Haku-chan fucked Zabu-chan"

Densuke looked at Naruto with disbelief while Haku spluttered.

Anko leered at the blond before swiftly whacking him over the head, "Let that be a lesson to you"

"And you!" Anko said as he turned her attention to Haku, "I want details, lots and lots of details after the second stage is over"

"Errr" Haku said as Anko disappeared via Shunshin and reappeared at the front.

"ALRIGHT YOU FILTHY MAGGOTS! LISTEN UP AND LISTEN GOOD, 'CAUSE I'M ONLY GONNA SAY THIS ONCE!" Anko barked, "From this point forward I am the baddest bitch you will ever meet. I will make Gorgons look like geishas and Basilisks look like garter snakes"

Densuke raised an eyebrow at the creatures Anko spoke of.

"So if any of you decide to let your non-existent minds wander while I'm explaining this task, I will shove my foot so far up your ass you'll be able to taste the dog shit on my boot, am I clear!?" Anko barked.

Almost every Genin nodded vigorously.

"Good" Anko said, "This is Training Ground 44, aka 'The Forest of Death', aka your home for the next five days. Your task is simple, once you sign the waiver forms; which are to protect Konoha from any repercussions in the event of the unforeseen and there will be events of the unforeseen; you will be assigned a gate number as well as given either a Heaven Scroll or and Earth Scroll. That gate will be your entry point and your objective is to get to the tower in the centre of the training ground within five days with both scrolls in your possession. That's right kiddies, your gonna have to take 'em from another team by any means necessary"

Several lesser Genin shivered at her tone.

"Now before you begin, there are some rules you need to know. If you open your scrolls, you are disqualified. If you reach the tower without both scrolls, you are disqualified. If you take longer than five days, you are disqualified and if you reach the tower without one or more of your teammates you are disqualified. Any questions?" Anko asked.

"What are we gonna do for food?" Choji asked frantically.

"Live off the land" Anko said before a malicious smile spread across her face, "Or eat another candidate, I hear the liver is quite chewy"

"No it's not" Densuke muttered.

"How the hell do you know that!?" Naruto whispered.

"Do you really want to know?" Densuke asked with a raised eyebrow.

"… … I'm good" Naruto replied as he returned his attention back to Anko.

"Any more questions?" Anko asked then smirked when no one replied, "Good, head to one of the booths. Once you sign your waiver forms your team will be given your gate number and scroll"

"Come on" Densuke said, "Let's to get our scroll"

"The irony of current circumstances is not lost on me" Densuke said as he, Naruto and Haku took up positions in front of their entry gate.

"What do you mean?" Haku asked.

"Well we are designated as 'Team 13' we have been assigned 'Gate number 13' and then there's the fact that I was born on the 13th of October, which was also a Friday, thereby bringing us to a trifecta of bad luck. Then there's the fact that I am a creature that feeds on humans for sustenance so by human standards of morality I should burn in the deepest pits of Hell and yet we have been given a Heaven scroll" Densuke said as he waved said scroll in emphasis.

"Ah" Haku stated.

"Well maybe my insane good luck will be enough to cancel out our bad luck" Naruto said.

"Here's hoping" Densuke said just before the gates opened and the signal to start was given. Immediately the trio rushed thought the gate and promptly took to the trees.

"That was-" Naruto started, but was immediately cutoff by Densuke.

"Don't say it" Densuke said as he and Haku rapidly sifted through the possessions of their now dead opponents, "If there is one thing I have learned throughout my long life is that you do not tempt Fate"

"I was gonna say gruesome" Naruto said as he looked at the very bloated and deformed bodies of their Kiri opponents.

"No you weren't" Densuke stated.

According to Haku the Kiri team they encountered were part of the village's Sub-Marine Corps., identifiable by their black full body wetsuits, close contact goggles and rebreathers that left virtually no part of their bodies exposed. The reason for this was because they spent an exorbitant amount of time training underwater, specifically at low depths. As a result their bodies had acclimatised to the pressure and to ensure they were able to quickly get in and out of the water as needed, their equipment was designed to keep their bodies under high pressure and the rebreathers did the same with the recycled air. However, when Densuke ruptured the rebreathers using telekinesis, the result was a bit more violent then expected. Instead of Acute Rapid-onset Decompression Sickness; resulting in intense joint pain, itchy blood, vertigo, nausea and unconsciousness; the sudden drop in pressure caused a vast amount of nitrogen bubbles to form in their blood, resulting in their bodies essentially inflating eventually leading their hearts, lungs and brains giving out from the rapid expansion, but not before making the lead up to their deaths extremely painful. The pressure suits and airtight equipment they wore kept everything contained, if not rather bulbous, but it was disturbing none the less.

"Do we have everything we need?" Naruto asked, wanting to get away from the site as fast as possible.

"We do now" Haku said as he held up a scroll, "It's Earth"

Naruto cringed.

"They did not deserve to die like this" Densuke said, a grim look on his face.

"I would've thought you'd be used to this sort of thing" Naruto said.

"Naruto, these children were innocents. Civilised vampires do not kill innocents if they can avoid it and we definitely do not torture them" Densuke said then sighed, "You guys go on ahead, I'll dispose of the bodies"

"Are you sure?" Haku asked.

"Not my first disposal" Densuke said with a dry chuckle.

"Ok" Naruto said before he and Haku took to the trees.

A few minutes later and a loud explosion nearly knocked Naruto and Haku out of their tree before they were joined by a lightly coughing Densuke.

"What the hell happened!?" Naruto asked.

"I underestimated the pressure buildup those suits were holding back" Densuke said as he cleared his throat, "I ruptured the suits to relieve the pressure so that the bodies would be less unstable, but the results were… catastrophic"

"Define catastrophic" Naruto said.

"Let's just say if Kiri ever tried to weaponise the phenomena it would redefine the term 'Bloody-Mist'" Densuke said.

Haku looked horrified while Naruto wretched.

"We should get out of here" Densuke said, "An explosion that loud is bound to attract attention"

Naruto and Haku nodded as the trio sped off through the trees.

"Now what do we do?" Haku asked.

"What else is there to do?" Naruto asked, "We head to the tower"

"No, not yet" Densuke said.

"Why not?" Naruto asked, "If we get to the tower now, we'd blow the fastest record out of the water!"

"True, but remember what the Hokage told us, 'There is such a thing as too much publicity'" Densuke said, "If we broke the record by such a wide margin we'd immediately draw the attention of the other villages and that would bring about unnecessary scrutiny. The last thing we need is the Project being exposed before it is properly finalised and implemented"

"So what are we supposed to do in the meantime? Sit around and play with ourselves?" Naruto asked.

"Well you two could play with each other" Haku said then snorted out a laugh when Densuke and Naruto gave him odd looks.

"I think I like Seme-Haku-chan, he's much more fun" Naruto whispered into Densuke's ear.

"And I think we're getting off topic" Densuke said.

"Alright, alright" Naruto huffed, "What are we going to do then?"

"Well, considering Konoha has been a little down on its luck and a little hard pressed for fresh business since the Kyuubi attack sixteen years ago, I was considering helping to bolster Konoha's reputation" Densuke said with scheming glint in his eyes.

"What do you have in mind?" Naruto asked, his eyes swirling with devilish mischief.

"We cull the masses" Densuke said as the predator within him made itself known, "We eliminate teams from other villages thus allowing a greater number of Konoha teams the chance to pass. Of course we'll allow foreign teams to pass, it would look suspicious if only Konoha teams passed the test"

"And what about Konoha teams?" Haku asked.

"We eliminate the weaker teams, only the best of the leaf should succeed" Densuke said.

"I like that plan" Naruto said.

"And how eliminated will the teams be?" Haku asked.

"We steal their scroll, bind them and knock them unconscious mostly, well enter combat when necessary. Of course we'll mostly be acting from the shadows" Densuke said.

"Sounds like fun" Naruto said while rubbing his hands together in a mischievous fashion, the prankster within him was going ballistic with glee.

"Glad you think so" Densuke said before he, Naruto and Haku took to the trees in search of their victims.

26 hours later.

Densuke heard Naruto's mirthful chuckle as they leapt through the trees.

Eleven teams. They had eliminated eleven teams over the past 26 hours and had had blast doing it. The had made a game out of it by seeing who could be the most creative in eliminating teams.

Densuke had been thoroughly impressed when Naruto, with the help of Densuke and Haku which was mandatory according to the game rules, caused an entire team to have a complete and total mental breakdown when he essentially spammed them with near countless and very intricate pranks.

"Heh, heh, that was fun" Naruto said with mirth.

"It most certainly was" Haku said.

"I never knew you had a sadistic streak, Haku-chan" Naruto said.

"I was taught and raised by the 'Demon of the Hidden Mist'" Haku said flatly.

"Touché" Naruto replied.

Densuke snorted then immediately called a halt as he came to an abrupt stop.

"What's wrong?" Naruto asked as he landed next to Densuke.

"I sense something" Densuke said.

"A hostile?" Haku asked as he armed himself.

"No. I sense… malice and something else I can't put my finger on" Densuke said as he furrowed his brows in displeased confusion.

"It feels like… youki, but it isn't. It feels… twisted, unnatural; I don't like it" Densuke said, the last being said firmly.

"Is it dangerous?" Haku asked.

"It's definitely unstable and not normal" Densuke said.

"We should check it out" Naruto said seriously, "If Densuke says it's not normal then it is not normal and if it puts Densuke on edge then it definitely creates cause for concern"

"And if it is a foreign threat then we have to eliminate it" Haku said, "It cannot be allowed to escape into the village and its populace"

"Then it's unanimous" Densuke stated causing Naruto and Haku to nod, "Lets go"

Immediately the trio took off through the tree towards the source.

"S-stop. Stop!" Zaku cried out as panic and fear swam in his eyes.

"Why should I?" Sasuke said, madness and blood lust swimming in his eyes and strange black markings creeping across his skin, as he continued to press his foot into Zaku's back while pulling back on the older teen's arms, "You didn't stop when Sakura said to so why should I?"

"N-No! S-Stop. Stop! STOOOPPP!" Zaku cried out as his arms were pulled back beyond their limit.

However, just before the joints dislocated, a shadow fell over Zaku as a the sole of a foot slammed into Sasuke's face, sending his flying back into a tree.

Zaku breathed a sigh of relief as the pressure on his arms released before crying out in pain when he tried to move his arms in order to push himself up. A gasp escaped his lips when he felt an arm slide under his and help him to his feet.

Lee gripped his ears and clenched his teeth as he fell to his knees under the high-pitched auditory assault then opened his eyes, when the noise stopped, in time to see his opponent, Dosu, collapse to the ground unconscious and saw Naruto standing behind the bandaged-nin, his body showing that he was the one to knock Dosu out.

"Pfft, weakling" Naruto muttered as he gazed at Dosu's unconscious form then turned his attention to Lee, "Are you alright?"

Sakura cried out in relief as the pain stopped after she cut her hair free from Kin's tight grasp and quickly rolled away.

Kin growled as she threw the hair in her hands away and started advancing on the pink haired girl, but stopped shirt when a voice said "Hyomu" and a chilling fog rolled in and surrounded her.

"Who are you? Show yourself" Kin called out when she saw a shadow within the fog and heard a giggle.

"You know, you really should be more courteous to your opponents" Haku said as he skitted just outside Kin's field of vision.

"Show yourself, coward" Kin said loudly before she felt something pierce the back of her neck causing her to slip into unconsciousness.

Immediately the fog dissipated showing a cross Haku standing over Kin's form.

"I do not appreciate being called a coward" Haku said sternly as he folded his arms.

"Are you alright?" Zaku heard then looked up to see Densuke looking at him with, what looked like, concern in his eyes.

"Y-You saved me" Zaku said in surprise.

Densuke smiled kindly at the teen then noticed Zaku flinch when his shoulder twitched.

"You're injured" Densuke stated as concern donned his face.

"I'm fine" Zaku said then hissed in pain as he gritted his teeth and clenched his eyes shut when he tried to shrug Densuke's hand off his shoulder.

"You are not fine" Densuke said as he lightly placed his hands on Zaku's shoulders and telekinetically felt for the injuries within, "There's some muscle damage and slight tearing of the tendons, nothing too extensive"

"Dia" Densuke said softly, his hands still over Zaku's shoulders, and watched as a green shimmer surrounded the teen's shoulders.

"T-Thanks" Zaku said as he rotated his shoulder only to wince slightly, though the pain was less than before.

"I'm sorry I couldn't do more" Densuke said, "I'm not very skilled with healing techniques or rather I never put much effort into learning more effective ones. I've done what little I can, but please get it looked at by a professional"

"Whatever" Zaku muttered as he lowered his head then looked up and saw Densuke with a kind, almost endearing smile on his face.

"What?" Zaku asked with suspicion.

"I'm glad you're alright" Densuke said as he reached out to cup Zaku's cheek, but hesitated and withdrew, "I-We would be saddened if anything happened to you"

"Yeah right" Zaku muttered then paused, "We?"

"Naruto and myself" Densuke clarified as he pointed at Naruto who was making his way towards the other Konoha rookies who were standing in front of the large hollowed out tree where an incapacitated Yuu was laying, but would occasionally look towards Zaku and Densuke and then gave a shy smile and a slight blush when he noticed Zaku looking at him, "It appears that, despite not knowing almost anything about you, we've become rather fond of you"

Zaku was surprised at the admittance and it took a few moments to snap out of his stupor, but that was only because a black blur slammed into Densuke and seemingly knocked the vampire off his feet.

"DENSUKE!" Zaku blurted in surprise catching everyone's attention.

Densuke narrowed his eyes as he took in the look of madness, triumph and dark elation that donned Sasuke's face as the Uchiha straddled Densuke's chest and had both his hands wrapped around the vampire's neck in a failed attempt to strangle him.

"UCHIHA!" Naruto bellowed when he saw what was going on after checking on Haku, who was examining Yuu, "GET YOUR FILTHY PAWS OFF MY MAN BEFORE I RIP 'EM OFF AND SHOVE THEM SO FAR UP YOUR ASS YOU'LL BE ABLE TO SCRATCH THE BACK OF YOUR OWN EYEBALLS!"

Sasuke didn't seem to hear Naruto's threat as he continued to try and strangle Densuke.

"Zio" Densuke muttered calmly as he touched Sasuke's arm causing the deranged teen to give a strangled cry as electric shocks wracked his body before Densuke threw him off and stood up.

"Wh-what did you do?" Sasuke growled as he slowly stood up due to the lingering spasms.

"I do not need to explain myself to you, traitor" Densuke said causing Sasuke to get enraged.

"I'LL KILL YOU!" Sasuke roared.

"Dormio" Densuke said as he side stepped Sasuke's charge.

Immediately Sasuke went limp and fell to the ground as he was sent into a deep slumber.

"Never touch me again, filth" Densuke said darkly then kicked Sasuke hard in the ribs and smirked in satisfaction when his superior hearing picked up the cracking of bones.

"So this is how you treat comrades, eh?" Shikamaru said as Densuke approached then softly muttered, "Troublesome, I knew there was a reasoned I didn't trust you"

"The reason you don't trust me is because I make your shadow uncomfortable and because you suspect I'm hiding my true strength, which I am" Densuke said, surprising Shikamaru since Densuke wasn't supposed to have heard the last part, "Besides, that was how I treat traitors, this is how I treat comrades"

Densuke then pulled out eleven scrolls, the ones they had confiscated from the teams they had defeated and held them out to the ten Genin, "Take your pick"

"You're just giving them to us?" Kiba asked incredulously.

"We have our set" Naruto said cheerfully, "These are merely extras we picked up along the way. We have no need for them"

"How's Yuu doing?" Densuke asked Haku after he stepped out of the hollow.

"Not good" Haku replied, "He's not too physically injured, just a few bruises, but he's unconscious and running a fever"

"Poison?" Naruto asked with concern.

"Unlikely" Haku said, "Whatever it is it's disrupting his internal chakra flow"

"Hmm" Densuke mused as he pushed his way through and knelt next to Yuu.

"Den-chan?" Naruto questioned when he saw Densuke lift Yuu's shirt and channel chakra into the teen's stomach.

A vicious snarl escaped Densuke's lips when he saw the ring of five kanji surrounding Yuu's navel causing Naruto to step back in shock.

"Gogyo Fuin" Densuke spat angrily.

"Y-You know what this is?" Naruto asked.

"Yes" Densuke hissed, "This is the exact same seal those filthy zealots used on me just before we first met. I'd recognise this array anywhere"

"C-can you undo it?" Naruto asked, "Also, you're kinda leaking K.I. here"

"Sorry" Densuke said as he reigned in his emotions, "I can undo it. I made sure to learn and master both the seal and the counter seal during my Fuinjutsu studies"

Naruto watched as Densuke ran through a string of hand signs before the tips of his finger on his right hand were enveloped in blue chakra flames with a kanji for the five elements within each flame.

"Gogyo Kaiin" Densuke said as he pressed his fingers over the seal on Yuu's stomach, rotated his hand counter clockwise and when he lifted his hand the seal on Yuu's stomach disintegrated, "Check him now"

Haku did as ordered and checked the summoner over then smiled in satisfaction, "His chakra flow is unrestricted, but it will take a while for it to stabilise equally across his system. Until then he will remain unconscious, but at least he's stable"

"Well that's a relief" Naruto said.

When the trio stepped out of the tree-cave, they noticed that Zaku and his two teammates had left.

'What are we going to do about the others?' Haku asked.

'Yeah, no doubt they saw you helping Zaku and talking to him' Naruto added.

'Don't worry. I cast an illusion over the others and made it look like I was taunting Zaku and his team' Densuke projected.

'Phew!' Naruto exclaimed as he mentally wiped his brow.

"W-Will Yuu-san be alright" Sakura asked timidly.

"Yes" Densuke said curtly.

"A-and what about Sasuke-kun, what did you do to him?" Sakura asked.

"I've put him into a forced sleep" Densuke said, "He will remain that way until you reach the tower"

Sakura was about to speak further but was stopped when Naruto cut her off.

"It saddens me, you know" Naruto said as he looked off into the forest.

"What?"

"Your parents are respected Konoha Shinobi. Your father is a decorated war hero several times over, is said to have fought on par with the Yondaime and was in fact a Hokage Candidate when they were selecting the Yondaime" Naruto said, still not making eye contact with Sakura, "So it saddens me to think that you are the culmination of their legacies, and if it saddens me, someone who really couldn't care less about you or your 'precious' Emo Ranger, imagine how your parents must feel, imagine how your father must feel"

With that the trio immediately took to the trees and disappeared from sight.

"Hot damn, we done good" Naruto said as he, Densuke and Haku dropped down in front of the Tower entrance.

"And we smashed the international record by 3 hours" Densuke said with a smile.

"WHOO! NEW WORLD RECORD!" Naruto whooped happily while Haku giggled.

Densuke merely chuckled as they all entered the tower.

"You know, that was seriously too easy" Naruto commented casually as he folded his arms behind his head while Densuke immediately stopped dead.

"Dammit Naruto, what did I tell you!?" Densuke said.

"What? We're done with the Second Test, s'not like anything is gonna happen now" Naruto said before he was yanked aside and a large light fixture crashed down upon where he had been standing.

"Ya see!" Densuke scolded, "Lady Luck has a real fucked up sense of humour"

"Don't tempt Fate, got it!" Naruto said as he gulped loudly.

"That was uncanny" Haku said.

Densuke, not wanting to argue or comment, simply lead them deeper into the tower atrium.

"Hey what's that?" Naruto asked as they all saw a large image on the wall and an inscription below it.

"If Heaven in what you lack, enlighten the mind. If Earth is what you need, then fortify the body" Haku read.

"Heaven and Earth?" Naruto asked.

"Mind and Body" Densuke said then mused, "When I was a youngling, my mother used to have a saying, 'A sound Soul resided within a sound Mind and sound Body. If one were to fail, the others would follow'. Truer words to live by I have never heard"

"And what exactly does that mean?" Naruto asked.

"It just means that the mind, body and soul are held in a tight balance. If one is damaged the other two are affected as well" Densuke said, "Though I'm not quite sure how that may apply here"

"Maybe we should open the scrolls?" Naruto asked.

"Do you really think that's wise?" Haku asked.

"It's all I've got" Naruto said.

"Densuke-sama?" Haku asked.

"We should open the scrolls" Densuke said, "It seems like the most logical course of action. Why else would they give us the task of collecting the scrolls? If we were supposed to simply collect both and hand them in upon reaching the tower, wouldn't there be someone here to collect them?"

"I see your point" Haku said.

"Ok" Naruto said as he took out the scrolls from one of the pockets on his jacket, it had been his turn to guard the scrolls, and handed one to Densuke, "On three. One… two… three!"

Immediately the duo yanked open the scrolls.

"What the hell?" Naruto said as his face twisted in confusion.

"It's a seal… I think" Densuke said as he examined the strange symbols before his eyes widened when he felt chakra build up within the array, "TOSS IT!"

Immediately Naruto threw his scroll away as did Densuke, oddly resulting in the scrolls falling over each other, as the buildup increased while the scroll began to bulge outwards.

"What the hell is going on!?" Naruto exclaimed as the scroll continued to bulge before exploding into a loud puff of smoke.

Iruka was ecstatically giddy when he felt the summoning seals on the two scrolls activate and pull him towards the tower atrium. As he waited for the smoke from the summoning to clear, he was sorely tempted to use a quick chakra pulse to clear the smoke faster, but resisted it would have been unbecoming.

Once the smoke cleared Iruka beamed with pride, but stopped short at the sight before him.

"Why do you three look like you're all about to take on an army of the damned?" Iruka asked in confusion when he saw all three members of team 13 in hair-trigger offensive stances; with Densuke wielding his abnormally large scythe, Haku with several ice senbon held between his fingers and Naruto wielding a pair of daggers, Densuke and Zabuza were training the blond in dual-wield daggers after Naruto showed an affinity for the blades.

"Iruka-sensei?" Naruto asked as he started to relax upon seeing his favourite teacher but immediately tensed when Iruka took a step forward, "Don't move"

"Naruto?" Iruka said cautiously as he gazed upon the hard look in Naruto's eyes, it just seemed wrong on the happy-go-lucky blonde.

"It's ok Naruto, it's him" Densuke said as he sealed his scythe back into his clothes.

Naruto immediately relaxed as he quickly holstered his blades, "Sorry for acting all Sasuke-y, needed to be sure you weren't an imposter or something"

"Why would I be an imposter?" Iruka asked.

"It's like Zabu-chan-sensei says, 'Prepare for the worst, hope for the best and expect it to get worse still'" Naruto said.

"Though not quite as eloquently put as Naruto-kun's rendition" Haku commented with a giggle.

Iruka blinked for a few moments, "I… don't know whether to feel proud that you are growing into such a fine shinobi or disconcerted that Momochi-san's teachings are making you grow up too quickly"

"Ehhh they're both fine choices, whatever floats your boat" Naruto said as he waved the comment off.

Iruka shocked his head in amused exasperation, 'Same old Naruto. God I hope he doesn't change'

Densuke smiled slightly at the stray thought then said, "So what brings you here, Sensei?"

"Ah! Yes!" Iruka said as he got back on track, "First off I wanted to congratulate you three on passing the second test and to also tell you the you three have set a new world record for fastest completion time of this particular test, beating the old time by three hours. It is by no means a small feat"

"What? Seriously!?" Naruto asked with feigned ignorance and beamed when Iruka nodded, "AWESOME!"

"Yes, and you have done both me and the village proud. It's is the first time Konoha has held the record, despite it being on home turf, and never has there been this much of a gap between records" Iruka said with a proud smile.

"You taught us well sensei" Densuke said as he gave a gracious smile.

---

Author's Notes

OMG! I am so sorry this took so long, but it took ages to write these two chapters and then there was real life stuff and ugh!

ZAKU'S FINALLY HERE! I have been waiting ages to get to this part! And yes, Haku is the seme in his and Zabuza's relationship. I've seen alot of uke-haku/seme-zabu but never the other way around. An insight into this odd dynamic will be revealed in the next chapter.

Jutsu-Jutsu no Jutsu

Hyomu - Ice fog (Haku's Hyoton version of Kirigakure no jutsu.)

Gogyo Fuin - Five Elements Seal

Gogyo Kaiin - Five Elements Unseal

Enjoy.