Title: A Leap Of Faith

Authors: Sara And Lizzie

Rating: T for language, mild sex

Disclaimer: It would be nice to own grey's anatomy, sadly all we own are a lot of high priced shoes and handbags, and both seasons on dvd.

Summary: AU. Meredith leaves Seattle the night that Addison comes. Five years later, she's standing at the back of the church, about to marry another man, when she admits to herself that she's still very much in love with Derek Shepherd. So she heads back to Seattle, and finds a very broken Derek. Will they be able to heal each other, or is it too late?

Author's Note: Okay. We're embarrassed. Nothing has been updated. Things were crazy with finals and holidays and work, but everything has calmed down now, and we're starting to write again, so PLEASE stick with us.

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I wont turn now from a fight,
you know I'll never win…

Four Years Ago: Seattle

"I asked her to marry me." Mark said, sitting down beside Derek. Derek averted his eyes from the ferryboats out on the water and looked at Mark next to him.

"About time."

"This isn't going to make you hit me?" Mark asked.

"I'm not going to hit you." Derek clarified.

"Good. Because she said yes. And I don't want to do anything to this face that would show on a wedding photo." Derek laughed in spite of himself. Mark looked at him for a long time. "Did you ever try calling her?" he asked.

"What?" Derek asked, his head snapping up.

"Calling her. Meredith. Calling her. Explaining yourself? Apologizing?" Derek shook his head. Mark shrugged. "I'm not expert on these things, but it seems like that would be a good place to start."

"It's too late."

"I just got engaged to your exwife, Der. It's never too late."

Present Day

Jack looked up every time the irritating bell on the door jingled, but she had yet to walk in. He checked his watch impatiently. His best friend and cousin were flying in from Philadelphia tonight to give him some company in this miserable city. He hated Seattle already; convinced it lacked the history and dignity of Philadelphia.

He signaled to the bar tender and another Jack Daniels was placed in front of him. The bell on the door jingled again, and this time, finally, she appeared, with a sophisticated red head and Izzie Duquette.

Meredith walked into Joe's with Izzie and Addison, too tired and confused to contemplate how ridiculous it was to be hanging out with her ex boyfriend's ex wife. They stepped inside the door and Izzie froze. "Mer…" she said, nudging her.

"Shit." Meredith muttered. Addison shot her a confused look. "Jack Pierre." She whispered. Addison raised her eyebrows, but said nothing.

"Do you want to go?" Izzie asked. Meredith looked at him and her eyes narrowed combatively.

"No." she said defiantly. "I won't let him run me out of my own life." She marched to the bar and sat down, several stools away from him. Izzie and Addison followed her, and immediately sat down on either side.

"Tequilla, Joe." Meredith said. "And keep them coming."

Joe looked at her questioningly. Izzie leaned in. "Jilted ex fiancé." She whispered, jerking her head at Jack. Joe looked down the bar and then back at Meredith, before pouring her a double shot.

"What is he still doing here?" Izzie hissed.

"Trying to make me miserable." Meredith whispered. "Look at him. He's trying to kill me by glaring." The bell on the door sounded again, and Derek and Mark walked in. Jack slid off of his stool, and made his way over towards Meredith. Derek held Meredith's glance, both of them seemingly frozen, until Jack made his way into Derek's line of vision.

His eyes narrowed and he spun on his heel and strode back out. Meredith took the shot Joe had placed in front of her, and shot him a look. "I know." Joe said. "Keep them coming." He set to pouring another shot.

Addison dropped her head into her hands as Mark shrugged and sauntered over to them. "I'm getting too old for this." She muttered. Meredith slid off of her stool, her eyes turned towards the door Derek had just walked out of.

Mark shook his head. "Give him a little time." He said. Meredith looked between him and Addison, and realized that she trusted them already. She nodded and sat back on her stool.

"Meredith." Jack said, leaning against the bar next to her stool. She looked away pointedly. "Don't you dare ignore me." Jack hissed dangerously.

"Don't talk to her like that!" Mark, Izzie and Addison snapped in unison. Jack glared at them, and Meredith rolled her eyes.

"You know what, Jack?" she asked. "You want to talk? Fine, talk. Go ahead and yell. Just get it over with. Then you can go back to Philadelphia." Joe put another shot in front of her, and she reached for it immediately. Jack's hands clenched into angry fists.

"I don't think you understand what you did, Meredith." He said. She closed her eyes and looked. When she raised her head, her eyes were open.

"I couldn't marry you." She said softly. "I'm sorry. That I didn't see it until so late."

"Why?" he demanded.

"I don't love you." She whispered.

"You love him." Jack said, jerking his head towards the door Derek had stormed out of. She nodded. "And he can't even look at you. Well, congratulations Mer." Silence fell over them as the look on Meredith's face changed from that of extreme vulnerability to hardened rage.

"Go home Jack." She said, her voice low and deadly.

He smirked at her. "Not without what I came for Meredith." He replied. Jack threw a fifty on the bar and strode out angrily. Meredith looked at her friends and then at Joe.

"Keep them coming. Right." Joe said. Addison massaged her temples and took a long swallow of her gin and tonic.

"I am seriously getting way too old for this." She said.

Meredith was at the bar until last call, long after Izzie had gone home to Denny and Mark and Addison had disappeared. She left, stumbling slightly, assuring Joe that would call a cab. She let the door slam behind her and moved towards her car on unsteady feet.

She unlocked the Jeep, rationalizing that she had driven drunker than this when she saw Derek leaning against the car, arms folded.

"Hi." She breathed, shocked, the rain picking up and drawing her attention skyward for a moment as she focused on the big, heavy drops that seemed to fall in slow motion.

"Meredith, I…." He trailed off and held out his hand. She dropped her keys into his palm without an argument. He opened her car and she climbed in the passenger side. They drove in silence until Derek cleared his throat. "Did he hit you?"

Meredith shook her head. "Of course not."

"He could though. Meredith, I saw those bruises. They were…" he trailed off as his voice broke slightly. "They were perfect fingerprints."

"Derek, the reason I couldn't walk down the aisle was because the only thing I could hear inside my own head was your voice telling me to take the rest on faith. So I took a leap."

"Meredith…"

"Don't." she said. "I don't care if you're angry or if you cant look at me, or whatever you think is wrong. I'm not going anywhere Derek."

He moved his head in the slightest of nods, and they lapsed back into silence, winding through Seattle.