Snipit it 4!

Love and Power.

I held the letter in shaky hands and tears splashed on the floor, as my life seemed to shatter before my eyes.

I sat in the corner of my room that I considered my library and cried like never before. Everything about my whole life seemed to be coming out in my tears. All of my sorrows, my fears, my pains, my loses…everything piled onto the fact that I had just had my heart broken.

I ran out of my room, past the men playing poker and down to the basement where we had set up a gym of sorts. I don't think the men even noticed that I had passed or if they did they that I really had to use the bathroom. No one had seemed to follow which made me happy.

I threw off my sweatshirt and instantly began to punch the bag that hung from the ceiling. I hadn't even attempted to wrap my hands so they were quickly bruised and bloodied but I was proud to say the bag was no better as it popped at its center.

"I'm sorry Phyllis. I'm more sorry than I ever have been in my entire life. I've never been more sorry than I am now for what I have and will do to you."

I quickly turned around, expecting to see Howard standing right there. But no, it was Nick. He held the letter in front of him, scowling at it and at me. And he was reading it out loud to me.

"During our time together I was not completely loyal to the relationship we had. Sadly, that is who I am… I had a few flings with other women while you were away and one… One came to me about two weeks before you came for Christmas. She is pregnant Phyllis. She's pregnant with—"

I jumped toward Nick, trying to grab that letter from him. "Stop! Just stop. That is none of your business Sergeant! Please…stop."

"She's pregnant with my son. I can't abandon him which means that I can't abandon her."

I dropped to my knees, sitting on my feet. I began to cry again.

"I have been the worst kind of man to you Phyllis—"

"Why are you doing this to me?" I demanded of the Sgt.

He walked away and sat on a chair against the sidewall. "I am trying to help you Thompson. You need to realize that this is going to hurt you emotionally and will in turn hurt the team. We need you at one hundred percent Thompson. We can't risk you or anyone on this team getting hurt because of your emotional state."

I gaped at him. "I can't just bury my feelings Nick. I can't and I won't just make them go away! I loved that man and…I still do…" I wiped at my face, trying to stop the tears from streaming. "I hate that man…and I love him."

Sgt. Fury stared at me for the longest time. "Stand up." He demanded with a soft under tone. He stood up, crumpling the paper in his hands. "I don't want you to bury those memories and feelings. I want you to use them like you do adrenaline and fear and anger and hate. Make them a part of your fighting style just like the other emotions."

I stood slowly, still wiping the tears from my face.

"Burying those emotions will change you and make you cold. But living with them and using them that will make you unbeatable."

"I believe it was then that I realized what a true and caring man the Sergeant was. He helped me through losing the first love of my life. If it weren't for him I don't know what would have happened." I said with a small smile.

I sat beside the little car bed that was Anthony's. He loved it more than anything, showing a young love for sports cars.

Tony suddenly sat up in his bed, bearing his fists out in front of him. "I'll beat him up for you Miss Thompson. He's a big meany for hurting your feelings." I laughed, grabbing his fists so he didn't hurt himself. "Do you mean the Sergeant Anthony? He's the good man in this scenario. Aside from that you are too little to beat any adult up young man. You've got a few years yet until you can do that."

Tony slumped, "I just want to help you is all. Does dad know who the man was? He's got money and power you know. He's always told me that fix anything."

Tony looked down at his sheets and began to curl up with them, laying back down in his bed. He looked up at me with big, watery eyes. "Will you stay until he goes to sleep? He scares me when he's like this…he's hurt me."

I rubbed his hair back, tears welling in my eyes as he told me this. "Your father has hurt you?" I asked gently. He nodded. "Has he done it often?" He shrugged. I held up two fingers and he shook his head. I held up one and he shook his head and then I held up three, and then four…he nodded. "And where is your mother when this happens?"

"She tries to stop him…"

Maria had told me that Howard was different. That he was more involved with his work and sadly, hard liquor but I had no idea that she had meant this. Why's he become so…cold?

I gave Anthony a small smile, rubbing his hair one last time. "Go to sleep Anthony. If you get scared just yell for my name and I'll come, okay?" He nodded. "Goodnight honey, have sweet dreams." I stood and he grabbed my hand.

"I want you to stay forever Lady Liberty. I don't want you to leave me."

I began to tear up again. He was such a sweet heart, such a good boy. "I will try Anthony, I will try." I leaned down beside the car and held his hand. "I will be leaving for another long trip and I do not know when I will get back. I will try my best to make it quick but I can't make a promise to you that I might break okay? I'll send you post cards from everywhere I go okay?"

And just like that he pulled out a small pile of post cards from under his pillow. I was really ready to start bawling. "Like these?" He asked. I nodded, a bright smile crossing my face. "Even more than last time cutie." I was utterly surprised he had those, kept them so close to him.

I heard the door to the house bang closed and I knew Howard had come home. I stood up, looked at the door for a moment then looked at Anthony. "You get some rest cutie, I'll just be outside the door."

I walked out of the door, grabbed a chair and sat next to Anthony's door.

Ali (guest): I totally agree! Howard in C.A. is so much better and really hot! The Howard in I.M. just wasn't the most attractive looking old man… And there are old men who are attractive (Liam Neeson ;P)

I love little Tony! Hope you do too!

On a different note I've got a serious question for all. And that's how do you think Rogers would act upon meeting Phyllis in present time? She's going to have a scar/branding of Hydra's seal on her persons that'll be noticeable right away and she's going to tell him and the team right out that she is also a Super Soldier. I'm just not sure on how he would act…I could make something up but I want to be more real to his character about the situation I throw him in.

Any and ALL thoughts would be grateful and helpful! Please and thank you!