It probably would have taken me a lot less time to write this if I hadn't discovered #kagecrack on tumblr and died from it for about an hour.

"Where could they be?" Mijat muttered distractedly, checking down the row of cells for the third time. "If they were captured, they've got to be here . . ."

"Aah . . ." Nami sighed. "Look, it's obvious that your friends aren't here, Zoro—I mean, Mijat. Isn't there anywhere else they could be?"

"They could be . . . hm . . ." Mijat paused in his patrolling. "I don't think there are any other cells like these . . ."

"Couldn't they be somewhere else in the castle, in that case?" Sanji asked. "Moss-hea—I mean, Mijat, shouldn't we get out of here and look for them elsewhere?"

"Hah . . ." Mijat sighed. "I guess so, but I'm not familiar with the layout of this castle. I only know where the dungeon is and where the throne room is—"

When he said this, his eyes widened as if realizing something.

"Hm?" Robin said. "Is something wrong?"

"Ah . . . well . . ." Mijat ran his fingers through his green hair distractedly. "I just thought of something that I hope isn't true in this case . . ."

The others waited. When he didn't say anything, Nami snapped "Well? What is it?"

"You see . . ." Mijat said nervously, "King Pauk has eaten a Devil Fruit. Sometimes, if he feels that the crime committed is on a high level, then he has a special form of punishment for the perpetrator. If I'm ever captured, it might be what's waiting for me . . ."

"Oh?" Robin said. "And what is the punishment?"

"Uh, well," Mijat said worriedly, "I've never seen it personally, but apparently it always ends in death for the perpetrator one way or another."

"Eh!?" Sanji yelled. "You mean the girls are going to die!?"

"And it seems like it will be painful," Mijat said grimly.

"They must be saved!" Sanji yelled. "Nami-swan, Robin-chwan, and you too, come on!" he charged for the door leading out of the dungeon corridor while Nami yelled that they didn't even know what power the king had yet.

"Okay," Zoro said once he finally understood the situation. "If that's the case, I'm going over there too." He slowly pushed himself up, wincing slightly.

"No!" Chopper exclaimed. "Don't push yourself!"

"Hold still," Dr. Mayi ordered. "I need to take out the IVs."

Zoro glanced at the tubes going into his body. "Oh."

Once they were all removed, he pushed himself back up again. "Okay, now I'm going."

"NO!" Chopper and Mayi yelled together.

"You're staying here!" Chopper exclaimed.

"You shouldn't be moving around yet!" Mayi cried.

Both pushed him back down.

"Do you have any chains?" Chopper asked Mayi. The doctor shook his head.

"Let go of me!" Zoro yelled.

Luffy, still in the throne room, punched away the last few guards and faced the king, who was sitting on his throne at the far end of the room. His eyes appeared to be dark brown, so dark they were practically black; his hair was short and black; his face was comparable to a box's shape and he had a small crown upon his head.

"Are you the king?" Luffy demanded, pointing at him.

The king rested his head on a fist and stared at him. "I am King Pauk, yes."

"Awesome!" Luffy said. "I'm gonna beat you up!"

The king smirked, not moving from his seat. "Is that so?"

Luffy nodded. "Yeah. I don't really understand what's going on here, but you're hurting three people I like, so I'm gonna beat you up."

"Three people?" The king said. "They wouldn't happen to be named Abeille, Peperuda, and Ampiainen, would they?"

Luffy stared at him. "Yeah, that's them."

Pauk smirked. "Oh, you don't have to worry about them now. I've already taken care of them; they're in the other room." He gestured to a door behind him.

Luffy growled and charged at the man. Pauk stood and tried to dodge the rubber man's incoming punch, but was too slow and got hit in the face.

"Get up!" Luffy yelled, pointing at the man lying on the ground. "I'm not finished with you!"

Pauk slowly sat up, rubbing his nose. "You pack quite the punch," he said. "A Devil Fruit, I presume, boy?"

"Yeah," Luffy said. "The Gum-Gum Fruit. Now get up!"

Pauk slowly stood and smirked. "Would you like to see something interesting, boy?"

Luffy paused. ". . . Yes."

Pauk got down on all fours as if preparing to sprint at a track meet. "I've also eaten a Devil Fruit," he said with another smirk. "I save this punishment for special criminals, and I think you being an outsider and punching me in the face counts as such."

Luffy just stared at him. "Get on with it."

"Fine," Pauk snapped. "Spider-Spider Fruit!"

He began to transform: His arms and legs became thinner, hairier, and sectioned; his body sectioned off as well into two parts, the lower becoming much rounder and larger than the front; on his face grew fearsome mandibles and sprouted several eyes; and in addition to his four limbs, he sprouted four more, two on either side.

Finally, an enormous, darkly-colored spider crouched in front of Luffy, who stared at it.

"Now do you see?" the spider king exclaimed. "No one can beat me, not ever, not as long as I have this power! Are you afraid, boy? Afraid of the big nasty spider in front of you!?"

Luffy spoke. "That's . . . that's . . . that's so COOL!" He grinned.

The spider king fell over. Picking himself back up, he muttered "No matter. I will still beat you."

He rushed at Luffy, much faster than before. Luffy barely leaped out of the way in time, throwing a punch as he did so. The spider king whipped around, raised his front legs, and caught the stretched limb between them.

"Let go!" Luffy exclaimed, tugging on his arm. In answer, Pauk pierced Luffy's flesh with his mandibles, leaving two deep wounds.

"OW!" Luffy yelled, pulling his arm back now that Pauk had finally let go. "You bit my arm!"

"You punched me in the face!" Pauk yelled.

"You BIT my ARM!"

Holding onto his hurt limb, Luffy suddenly realized he couldn't feel his other hand on it. Running his hand up and down his hurt arm, he found that it was becoming completely numb.

"What did you do!?" he exclaimed.

The spider king laughed. "Didn't you know?" he chuckled. "Spiders use their venom to paralyze victims!"

Already the numbing feeling was spreading from Luffy's arm out onto his chest and slowly to the rest of his body. He charged at Pauk and tried to hit him with his good fist, but lost his balance and stumbled—the venom was spreading to his midsection.

"You see!?" the king cried. "No one can beat me!"

Luffy charged again, but more slowly than before; his head was becoming hard to hold up, since it and his neck were now numb as well. His other arm was numb and almost impossible to move, and the venom was creeping down his legs.

As a last-ditch attempt, Luffy flailed one of his legs around, trying to catch the spider king, but this was easily dodged—Luffy's movements were slowing down.

Less than a minute later, Luffy's entire body was numb and impossible for him to move. He crumpled to the ground, unable to stand.

Pauk scuttled over to him. "And now," he said, smirking, "your punishment."

Secret message FTW

I sincerely apologize to any arachnophobes

I also apologize to any arachnologists for inaccuracies