Chapter 14

Ozai was furious. The guards who had been patrolling the woods by the tunnel's entrance knelt before his makeshift throne with their eyes turned to the ground. Some of them were suffering from broken ribs, others from deep lacerations. There were a few more in the infirmary tent with broken limbs. They all had rope burns. The ones who had come back at all. They had left the three dead soldiers behind. Casualties of a battle with Zuko and his water witch. Of course it was them, Ozai was certain. They had caught up to him faster than he anticipated. They had caught him off guard.

"I should kill you all," Ozai told them. "I had hoped the gibbet would have reminded you of the cost of failing me." They winced, but didn't otherwise react. Ozai sneered at them. "Taken down by a team of two. How is it that I wound up with the weakest soldiers to fight for our glorious cause?"

"I beg your pardon, sire," one of the soldier spoke up hesitantly. "There were only two of them, but they were skilled fighters. There was a water bender and a fire bender."

"Yes," Ozai smarmed. "The pretender to my throne and his water bending witch. Two of the enemies who whose heads would please me most. They were here, within my grasp and you let them get away."

"We were overpowered!" The soldier protested, despite his companions' silent pleas for him to shut up. Ozai fixed his pointed gaze on the soldier.

"There were ten of you," he said. His voice was calm and quiet. It send a shudder through the soldiers at his feet. "How were you, ten Fire Nation trained soldiers, overpowered by a remedial fire bender and a water witch from the middle of the frozen nowhere?" The soldier cast a nervous look at the others.

"She…she did something to us," he explained. "I-I don't know what it was, but suddenly, I was wasn't in control of my body. When Yunzhu shot her, it stopped, but then your son-" Ozai's spine stiffened, "-attacked. He killed two of us and then disarmed Yunzhu." He pointed to the woman kneeling to his left. "We were all injured. Those of us who weren't dead, he knocked out and left us tied up where the relief team found us."

"The water witch took control of your body?" Ozai asked suspiciously. "Was she touching you?"

"N-no sir," the soldier stammered. Ozai drummed his fingers against his armrest thoughtfully.

"Did she do it to anyone else?" he asked the rest of the soldiers.

"There were three of us she did it to," the soldier told him. "But…but your…I mean her companion killed the others…Your Majesty."

"I see," Ozai said. He looked at the rest of the soldiers. His lips turned up, but no one mistook it for a smile. He pointed to the soldier identified as Yunzhu. "You." She flinched. "You're an archer?"

"Yes, your majesty," she confirmed.

"Where are you bow and arrows?" Yunzhu hesitated before responding.

"The prince…it was burned," she said.

"So," Ozai breathed heavily, "our enemies managed to find out hide out, kill three of my soldiers and deplete our already strained resources. Tell me, how many ostrich horses did your incompetence cost us?" The soldiers exchanged nervous glances. The chatty one spoke up again.

"F-four, Your Highness," he said. Ozai's hands clenched tightly and he thought.

"Tell me why I shouldn't have all of you gibbeted?" he asked in a low, dangerous voice. The four shuddered again, wracking their brains for something to turn Ozai's ire.

"The water witch is dead!" Yunzhu blurted out. Ozai's eyes landed on her, and she glupled. "I-I shot her. It hit her in the back. I heard her gasping before I was knocked out. I think I hit a lung." Ozai leaned forward.

"Are you certain she's dead?" he demanded. Yunzhu nodded.

"She was nearly gone when I saw her last. It would have taken the best doctors in the Fire Nation to save her. There's no chance she survived a wound like that in the middle of nowhere." Ozai rested against the back of his throne and a smirk spread slowly across his lips.

"That wench was one of the Avatar's strongest champions," he mused. "She bested Azula. It would have been better if you had killed Zuko, but it'll do. Yunzhu, go to the healer's tent and have your injuries tended to. The rest of you," Ozai shifted his gaze to the remaining three soldiers, "you've proven yourselves liabilities. You know what happens to liabilities."

The three men's faces drained of blood. Yunzhu shot them a horrified look. But Ozai had dismissed her. There was nothing she could do. With a lump in her throat, she limped away. The sounds of the other soldiers pleas for mercy followed her through the camp, as they were lead away to the gibbet cages. Yunzhu looked up as she approached the infirmary and met the eyes of another soldier. She saw the same haunted look in his eyes that she knew must be in hers. She swallowed hard and ducked into the tent.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Something was tickling Katara's nose. She twitched it, hoping to get rid of whatever it was. Instead she found herself with a face full of feathers. She shot up with a gasp and just managed to keep herself from falling off the saddle. Zuko whirled his head around and halted his ostrich horse.

"Are you okay?" he asked. Katara nodded and rubbed her eyes.

"I dozed off," she told him. "Forgot where I was for a moment." Zuko cast a worried glance at the sky. The sun had set nearly an hour ago and they were still another five miles from where they were supposed to meet Suki and Toph, if they hadn't left already.

"Are you okay to ride?" The truth was, Katara wanted to rest. Her hands trembled around the reigns, and this wasn't first time she had drifted off in her saddle, but they had lost so much time already. She nodded firmly.

"I'm fine," she lied. Zuko sighed. A moment later, he climbed off his mount and led it beside Katara's. She frowned and turned to watch him. "What are you doing?"

"You're not fine," he said. He tied his reigns to Katara's saddle and climbed up behind her.

"Zuko, what are you-"

"We can't stop moving," he explained. "I'll steer us on. You get some rest."

"What about you?" Katara asked. She felt a twinge of guilt as she settled against him. "You need rest, too."

"I'll be okay until we get back to camp," Zuko promised.

"Wake me if you need a break," Katara ordered. Her heavy eyes were already shutting. She was sleeping seconds later. Zuko sighed, adjusting his grip on the reigns and spurred the horses onward.

The entire trek so far had been mostly silent. Both Katara and Zuko had been too tired to make conversation after their talk earlier that afternoon, but this silence felt different. For the first time, Zuko was alone in his thoughts with nothing to distract him. Naturally, his thoughts turned to the night before. The feeling of Katara's life slipping away in his hands; the sound of her rasping gasps; the terror that he was going to lose her. Zuko shut his eyes and buried his nose in Katara's hair. It smelled of sweat, muck and dirt. Zuko thought he would love that smell forever, because it meant she was alive.

"Katara?" he whispered experimentally. Katara murmured in her sleep, but didn't otherwise respond. Zuko took a deep breath and spurred the ostrich horses into a trot.

"I have to say something," he said quietly. Katara didn't even stir. "I thought there was nothing else my life could throw at me that could truly scare or shock me anymore. I've lost everything before; my mother, my home, my honor, everything. But I got through it. Uncle got me through the worst of it, but, you know, you got me through a lot of it, too. Then last night…I almost lost you, too.

Katara shifted a bit and her hands twitched. Zuko froze, horrified that she might have heard him. She let out a disgusted groan.

"…but I hate papaya," she complained groggily, and then went still. Zuko waited a few minutes until he was sure she was deep in sleep again. He had to fight a nervous, slightly hysterical laugh. Was he really doing this? Was he really pouring out his soul to his best friend while she slept? But this wasn't something they could talk about while they were both awake.

"When I said that kiss meant something to me," he started again, "what I meant was you mean something to me. You're my best friend, and I don't know what I'd do without you." Zuko waited a beat, to see if Katara would respond to that. He was met with the faint sound of her snores. He smiled. "I'm sorry if I upset you by saying it meant nothing. And I'm sorry I'm not brave enough to tell you any of this while you're awake."

"…'sokay," Katara murmured. Zuko's eyes widened in fear. Had she heard him after all? "…'sokay…we'll pay for the cabbage…" This time, Zuko did laugh. He pressed a fist to his mouth to keep from making too much noise.

Zuko felt slightly lighter after unburdening himself audience of air and two indifferent ostrich horses. The rest of the trip was punctuated by Katara's nonsensical mumbling and the heavy breathing of the ostrich horses. Zuko listened to them with some concern. He may have been pushing them too hard, and he worried that they would need more time than could be spared to recover. Zuko had been hoping they could use the ostrich horses to shorten their trip back to the palace.

Oh, well. He sighed.

There was a dim glow in the trees. Zuko recognized the telltale glow of a campfire. It was unlikely to be anyone but Suki and Toph, but Zuko didn't want to take chances. He wasn't in any shape to fight any more than Katara was. He shook her gently. It took some time to wake her up.

"Zuko…? Wha's amatter? Do you need me to steer?" Katara asked. She turned and blinked up at him with bleary eyes.

"No," he said. "I need to go check something. Just watch the horses." Katara roused herself to almost fully awake and nodded.

"Is everything alright?" she asked. "Where are we?"

"Near the campsite," he told her. "I just want to see if Suki and Toph are still here."

"Alright," Katara agreed. Zuko slipped down from the saddle and then helped Katara down. She found a boulder to sit on. "Call me if you need help." Zuko slipped into the shadows without a sound and Katara was alone with the ostrich horses. They regarded her with mild interest before discovering that they were standing in a patch of fresh blue grass and promptly forgot that Katara was there.

It was now going on five hours past sunset, and past the time that Suki and Toph were supposed to have started back towards the capital.

"We'll have to head back soon," Suki told Toph.

"Why don't we wait til morning?" the younger girl suggested. "We've already lost this much time. Another few hours won't hurt. I can make it up tomorrow." Suki hesitated, but finally agreed.

"Alright," she said. "We'll wait for dawn." Toph sat deep in thought for a while.

"You know," she started slowly. "Since I can move us around much faster, we can go look for them." Suki looked up sharply.

"No," she said firmly. "We head straight for the capital in the morning. We're taking too much of a risk staying here as it is."

"It's not a risk if there's no chance we'll be caught!" Toph insisted. "We can't leave our friends behind if they're in danger!"

"We have to," Suki countered. "We have to let Iroh know what's happening. Otherwise the entire world will be in danger! They would both expect us to put that ahead of them."

"If we lose them, the world will be in danger anyway!" Toph got to her feet and dug her heels into the dirt, ready for a long fight. "If you won't go look for them, I'll go alone!"

"Toph, you stubborn badger-mole! Would you stop and think for a minute? Ozai is preparing to attack the capital. Zuko told us to go on without them."

"We trashed his boats," Toph reminded Suki. "They won't get anywhere fast. We can afford to go look for them now. And since when do you take orders from Sparky?"

"Since he's the commander on this mission, in case you've forgotten!" Suki got to her feet now, too. She was quaking in anger. Her fists clenched and unclenched at her sides. "I'm worried about them, too! You don't think I want to march of and go find them right now? I do! But we have a job to finish. Too many lives are at stake. What if something happens to us? Who will get this information back to Iroh then?"

"So you'd rather leave them for dead?" Toph demanded. "Those are our best friends out there! We should go get them!"

"Do you need a tie breaker?" Suki and Toph whirled around sharply, both prepared to attack. Zuko stood leaning against a tree. He was covered in mud, grime and blood.

"Zuko!"

"Sparky!" The two rushed at him, half hugging, half carrying him towards the campfire.

"Are you okay?"

"Where's Katara?" Zuko wasn't sure who was saying what at that point. He disentangled his arms from their grips and stepped backward.

"I left her with the ostrich horses," he told them. "I wanted to make sure it was really you first." Suki took a good look at her friend. Beneath the filth covering his body, she could see he was pale from fatigue, and favoring one side. Toph could tell that he had at least one broken rib, and she felt the faint tremors running through him. She frowned at that.

"You're hurt," she said. "Why didn't Katara heal you?" Zuko hesitated before he answered. Suki gasped.

"Is she okay?" she asked. Zuko nodded.

"She's fine, but…" he sighed, and turned back towards the trees. "I have to let her know it's safe to come up. We'll explain everything." He frowned at the two young women and added, "And then you two can explain why you didn't leave at sunset when we agreed."

"As if we'd really leave you behind," Toph shrugged, unconcerned. "I'll go get Katara. You're dead on your feet, Sparky." Suki took his arm and guided him to the fire.

"We saved you two some dinner," she said. She brought over some water for him to clean his face and hands before he ate. "After you eat, I can take a look at your injuries. I'm not as good at healing as Katara, but I'll do my best."

"Thanks, "Zuko said gratefully. He took the rag Suki offered him and dipped into the washing water. It quickly darkened with the dirt from his face. A few minutes later, Toph arrived, helping Katara to the fire beside Zuko. Suki got her similarly settled. Soon the newly arrived pair were slightly cleaner and contentedly sipping the stew. They were too eat any faster, although they were both certainly hungry enough. Eventually, they were able to get through the tale of the past two days. Suki and Toph were horrified by the description of the bodies hanging from the trees, and of their harrowing escape.

"You may have to leave us after all," Zuko said. "I'm not sure we'll be ready to push like we did today."

"Don't worry about that," Toph said. "I can get us home in a few hours." She told them about the method of traveling she had just invented. "I'm telling you guys, subterranean travel is the future!"

Suki's face told Zuko and Katara exactly what she thought of Toph's innovation, but they all agreed that it was better than splitting up again.

After the pair had finished eating, Katara used some spare water to heal Zuko's worst injuries. He protested, but she ignored his objections and set to work.

"Toph said she can handle traveling," she reasoned. She looked over at the earth bender and asked, "Will you need me to be awake for it?" Toph shook her head.

"Nah," she said. "You can sleep on the way there. Fix Sparky so he won't whine every time we hit a bump." Katara smiled and then turned back to Zuko, with a no nonsense look on her face.

"Shirt," she said. Zuko rolled his eyes, but complied, figuring it would take longer to argue with her than to let her have her way. Again.

When Katara was finished, she barely had enough energy to make it to her sleeping bag. She collapsed on it and fell immediately to sleep, still covered in the filth of the last two days. Zuko frowned at her almost completely still form.

"Stop brooding," Toph ordered. "Sugar Queen will be fine." She and Suki laid out their own bags. Suki shot Zuko a sympathetic look.

"Are you okay?" she asked. Zuko nodded.

"I shouldn't have let her heal me," he said. Toph snorted.

"And how would you have stopped her? You know how Katara is. She would've just waited until you fell asleep if you insisted on refusing." Suki laughed and agreed with Toph.

"Besides," Suki added, "Toph's way of traveling isn't as smooth as Appa. Trust me, you'll be grateful tomorrow." Toph scowled at Suki.

"My way is plenty smooth," she said. "You big baby." Suki laughed again. The tension of the day's wait was finally slipping off.

"You never told me what happened with you two," Zuko said. He sat down on his bag and looked at them expectantly. "I'm assuming it went smoother than our trip." Toph and Suki exchanged grins and they told him about the sabotage of the camp.

"I sank most of their rations and supplies in a sink hole," Toph said. "Then War Paint, over here took at drill to one of their boats. It'll sink before it makes it past the reef!" Suki beamed with pride.

"I would've taken all three boats out, but it took longer than I thought," she explained. "I didn't want any of the soldiers to wake up. It'll slow them down some, anyway." Zuko grinned at the two young women.

"I really love the way you two think," he said. "We should get some rest. As fast as Toph can get us home, I'd still rather we didn't wait too long."

"Whatever you say, Fire Lord Sparky," Toph replied with a sloppy salute.

"I'm not Fire Lord yet," he muttered, setting into his sleeping bag with some relief. The breeze had picked, reminding the team that winter wasn't quite finished yet. Katra shivered against the chill, and Zuko realized she hadn't actually gotten into the bag. It lay spread open beneath her. Zuko went over and tucked the bag closed around her, and pushed some stray hair from her face. Katara sighed contentedly. Zuko hid a smile. When he stood to go back to his bag, he saw Suki and Toph gaping at him. Zuko froze and then crossed his arms defensively.

"What?" he demanded. Suki dropped her head and forced down a laugh.

"That was…gentle," she commented. Toph didn't bother hiding her laugh.

"That was very gentle," she snickered. "Something happening between you two?" Zuko's face went red, then white, and then red again.

"Shut up!" he growled, scrambling back into his bag.

"Don't forget the fire," Suki reminded him. She still sounded amused. Zuko muttered something under his breath. Reaching an arm out from his bag, he put the fire out, leaving the group in the dark.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

What are you willing to sacrifice for peace?

Agni's words echoed in Aang's head as he wandered through the camp long after night had fallen. He studiously avoided Sokka and Iroh since he left the temple, but he didn't think either of them had been looking for him anyway. That bothered him, but much less than it normally would.

"What am I willing to sacrifice for peace?" he thought. "What haven't I sacrificed for peace?"

Appa was asleep in his pen. Momo was scrambling around the rafters chasing insects for a late night snack. Aang climbed up into Appa's saddled and settled into a corner. Momo looked down at him and chittered curiously.

"It's nothing, Momo," Aang told his pet. "I'm just thinking." Momo glided down to the sleeping sky bison and rested his head on Aang's knee. Aang scratched Momo's ears and sighed. "You know, I thought getting guidance from the Spirit World would make things clearer. But now I'm more confused than ever."

Momo patted Aang's leg sympathetically and made more chittering noises.

"Oh, you know spirits," Aang said off-handedly. "I spoke to Agni. He was vague, a bit rude, and super judge-y. The only spirt that's ever been truly straight with me was the Lionturtle. But Agni said that Lionturtles are out of touch. He said that they don't care about real peace. Just a lack of conflict. But lack of conflict is peace…isn't it?"

Momo lifted his head and tilted it to the side. He lifted a paw and tugged at his ear.

"Well if real peace isn't lack of conflict, then what is it?" Aang asked him. He threw his arms up and groaned. Appa woke up and grunted at him irritably. "Sorry, buddy. I'm just working through something." Appa grunted again and fell back to sleep.

Momo hopped up on Aang's shoulder, nuzzling him.

"Oh, Momo," Aang sighed. "I'm the Avatar. I'm supposed to know how to fix all of this, but I can't. Agni asked me what I was willing to sacrifice for peace. I've sacrificed plenty. I lost my people! I lost Katara. I have to spend my life traveling around to help people who don't appreciate it. What more can I give?"

Momo climbed atop Aang's head and leaned down, peering into his misty grey eyes. Aang shrank back a bit. Guilt tugged at his mind.

"Okay, so I've lost things," he admitted. "They weren't sacrifices. They were taken from me. But that's the same thing, right?" Momo shrugged. Aang felt a familiar prickle behind his eyes. He took Momo down from his head and hugged him close as the first tears slid down the bridge of his nose. "I don't have anything to sacrifice! What do they want from me? What do the worlds want from me?"

"For you to use your head for once." Aang gasped and held Momo at arm's length.

"Momo, did you just talk?" he cried. Momo rolled his eyes.

"Of course the lemur isn't speaking, Avatar," Momo definitely said. "It's Agni. I'm merely using your companion to speak to you." Aang stared at Momo…or rather Agni. He could see the gold of the spirit's eye glinting in Momo's face now.

"O...kay?" He struggled to find words. "Why are you talking through Momo? And how? I thought I needed to be in a temple or in a place with spiritual energy to talk to the spirits." Agni twisted out of Aang's unresisting hands and settled on the saddle with his legs crossed.

"I am much more powerful than the spirits you're used to talking to," he sniffed haughtily. "Besides, in the Fire Nation, all of the land is basically my temple. As to why I'm using your monkey friend-"

"Momo's a flying lemur!"

"-he was the most convenient choice. I would have preferred Iroh, but I didn't think it was necessary to interrupt his sleep for this." Agni tilted Momo's head and dug in his ear. "I heard you complaining about the advice I gave you earlier-"

"I wasn't complaining," Aang cut in. "You were too vague!"

"And rude, and…what was that last bit?...'super judge-y'?" Agni made air quotes around the last words. It was a ridiculous gesture with Momo's tiny paws. Aang snorted derisively. "Now, what was so difficult about what I said?" Aang didn't answer immediately. He stared down at his hands, focusing on the callouses left from years of gripping Appa's reigns. He had laborer's hands, despite them being willowy and delicate looking. And he felt like he had been laboring for the past three years since the war ended. Finally, Aang looked up at Agni.

"You said earlier that I had to sacrifice for peace," he said. "But I don't understand what you mean. What more could I be sacrificing?" The last question came out a bit plaintively, even to Aang's ears. Agni let out a long-suffering sigh.

"I can't tell you what to sacrifice," he told Aang. "I can't tell you when to sacrifice it. I only asked you what you were willing to sacrifice. Earlier you listed what you've lost, and trust me, I empathize with loss. But loss isn't sacrifice. Take your friends Katara and Sokka, they lost their mother to this war, but they sacrificed their childhood and their home to help you restore balance. My sons Iroh and Zuko, they sacrificed their birthright, and family."

"But they all got back what they sacrificed," Aang said. Agni tilted Momo's head quizzically.

"They got back some of what they sacrificed, yes," the spirit conceded. "But they didn't know they would at the time. And when they got it back…well, it wasn't the same. You should ask them about it sometime." Agni sighed, heaving Momo's furry shoulders with a sense of heaviness that didn't belong in an animal. "Young Avatar, you cannot do your duty without loving the entire world with all its variations, inconsistencies, and contradictions, not just the little piece of it that you grew up with. Ultimately, I believe that will be the hardest thing for you to sacrifice." Aang shook his head helplessly.

"I can't just forget who I am," he told Agni. "I'm the only Air Nomad left. If I give up on everything I was taught, then they really will be dead."

"You can still honor your past," Agni replied. "You can still pass on what you were taught to your children and their children and their children. But as the Avatar, you cannot belong to any one people. Your duty is to the entire world. You have to expand your love to them all. Only then will you be able to sacrifice for them." Aang watched Agni expectantly. Finally, his brows furrowed and he threw his arms up in frustration.

"Is that all you've got to tell me?" he demanded. Agni groomed Momo's fur absently.

"What more do you want me to tell you?" he asked, sounding very bored. "I'm not going to hand hold you through your journey. I've done more than enough for you by telling you this much."

"But-," Aang struggled. "How can you say I don't love the world? How can you say I don't sacrifice?"

"If you truly believed you have given your all to the cause of balance in the world, you wouldn't feel so guilty, now would you? Why did you come to the temple to speak to me?" Aang scowled at Agni.

"I didn't come to speak to you, remember?" Agni shrugged.

"You sought advice from the spirit world in my temple. Same difference to me." Aang groaned.

"I don't know…Sokka and Iroh said that I was being selfish…" Agni rolled his eyes.

"I'm not your mother," he drawled. "Dig deeper. Why did you come to my temple?" Aang held the dark look for a moment, and then slumped. He was exhausted.

"I went to the temple because …because I'm afraid that this whole thing was my fault," he confessed. "Everyone wanted me to kill Ozai the first time, but I didn't…I couldn't do it. And now, my friends could be in danger and…" Aang clenched his eyes shut and forced his tears back. He heard Agni shift. And then Momo's paw was resting on his head.

"Ozai's choices are not your fault," Agni said. "You decided to try things your way and for a while, it worked, I suppose. But just because Ozai may have found a way around it, doesn't mean that you failed. It just means that you have to try something else. Being the representative of all the nations means that you have to be open to seeing things from a different perspective. The monks taught you that all life was sacred. Well, in the Fire Nation we believe that no one person is more important than the good of everyone. Ozai is a cancer. You tried to cure him. It didn't work. Now the cancer must be removed.

Aang took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

"I understand." When he opened his eyes again, Momo was gazing up at him curiously. His eyes had faded to their normal light brown hue. He chittered at Aang and patted his arm. Aang smiled at him sadly.

"I'm fine, Momo," he assured his friend. Momo nodded and curled into a ball, promptly falling to sleep. Aang stretched out beside him, but it was a long time before sleep finally claimed him.