Chapter 14
That rumor Alfred made up is certainly peculiar. I wonder what caused him to start. Oh, how dim-witted Alfred's mind is for doing that. Well, no matter. I shall discuss it with him regardless because it seems necessary. I have no idea what fuels Americans to always have to start rumors about relationships, but it is really annoying. I especially do not know why matters of a person's love life would be so important either. I don't know about other people, but I am sick and tired of always hearing about pregnancy shams and who's dating and who's not. It reminds me of high school gossip.
I am thinking that my dear Alfred would be in the graphic design area and so I go over to that area to find him. Ah, the sweet blond is hovering over a tablet. He seems to be drawing a picture that looks like him. His drawing skills are amazing. I wonder why I have never noticed them. He is still a dull idiot, though. However, he is my idiot. He must be my idiot. I decide to sit down next to him and lay my head on his shoulder again. This time, he does not seem to retort or anything.
"Hey, Ivan…" he says quietly. It seems as if we have passed the threshold of our relationship. This is really nice for me, but I see that we have not kissed yet. I wonder when that will happen because I really enjoyed our kisses of the past. I can still remember them rather clearly, but I do not want to get into that currently. Maybe I'll think of them later…
"Hello… I heard you spread a rumor of us… If you wanted sex, you could have just asked, Alfred. It isn't like we ha-" Well, I get such a rude interruption here. I am pushed off of his shoulder and he is giving me this rather intense glare. I am blushing a little bit. It is a really cute face on Alfred, that glare.
"What rumor? And I don't want sex!" he shouts at me. The whole department turns towards us. Alfred sometimes is a nuisance. I pinch the bridge of my nose due to all the unwanted attention that Alfred managed to bring forth.
"Are you sure? You had an enjoyable time last time," I wink at him. Well, yes, he did. We were high-schoolers. We were also seniors and we were dating, so it just kind of presented itself. I don't want to get into details right now, though. That would be kind of awkward to think about at work.
"L-last time?! Shut your face, Braginsky, before I punch you in the jaw again!" The right move would be to sneer at Alfred. I managed to make him blush once again, so it is quite an accomplishment, in my opinion. The American covers his face a little bit and whines softly. People are still staring at us. "What's the fucking rumor?" he asks me very rudely.
"Well, Natalya just told me that you started a rumor that said we got in a fist fight and then had hate sex and I gave you hickeys…" I tell him softly. I want to say that quietly as the subjects we have been talking about are really not safe for work. Also, I don't want to draw even further attention to us, nor do I want this rumor spreading around even more.
"Your sister doesn't like me…" he sighs. I smile at him back. Yes, she most certainly doesn't and for that, I am grateful. It would pain me to see Alfred being stolen away by my lovely sister. That would be most unfortunate, but as long as she is happy, I suppose that I couldn't complain. Of course, there is a limit as to what I would do to ensure her happiness, but I don't want to go into those details either. At these thoughts, I feel myself shaking a little bit.
"I know… It's good for me. I never actually got to go take a nap, Alfred… Do you want to come with me? The day is almost over anyway." He gives me an answer by raising his middle finger in my face. Ah, I see. I grasp that hand in my own and kiss it. "Please do not give me obscene hand gestures, Alfred." He grumbles and rips his hand away from me. "What are you drawing?" Alfred seems to be in thought for a moment and puts down his stylus.
"I'm just answering asks… for my ask blog. I have a tablet at home, but I'm done for my work today, so I'm just using the things I have at my disposal." I nod my head at him even though I do not have an interest for why he is using the work tablet to draw for his Tumblr. I didn't need an explanation at all from him, yet he explained it anyway.
"The character looks a lot like you…" I mention. That comment seems to have made him smile. Well, that is nice, I guess. Alfred has always had a very bright white smile. "What is his name?" It would be funny if its name was Alfred. Of course, it would be very unlikely, but it would humor me if it was.
"Alfred… Alfred F. Jones. Like myself. He's a character from this anime I like about country politics." That sounds like a very boring anime. An anime about country politics just seems rather boring. What is it? By what Alfred told me, it sounds like an anime where boring Japanese people just sit in a board room and discuss what happened between countries throughout history… but animated!
"That sounds very boring…" I mention. Alfred narrows his eyes at me. I know I offended him by offending this anime. Then, Alfred seems to send the drawing to what I assume is his email and erase the board. He will probably be working on it later at his home with that tablet he was talking about. That is just what I am assuming, though. He is starting on something else now, though.
"You have not watched it…" he growls at me. "I'm going to draw the commie character because he's an asshole like you. And he looks like you because he is creepy-ass and this will not be a compliment. He has a bigger nose than all the rest of the characters, too, so it must be very long and huge!" Alfred starts drawing. I assume he is to spite me. I was not paying attention to half of that garbage that came out of his mouth, whatever it was. I am not sure it even makes sense, to be honest.
"It is probably just a talk about politics, but with subtitles. I do not see how that is very interesting… The way you described the show, anyway, doesn't make me see how it is so great…" I am going to stick with politicians who represent countries sitting around a board room table discussing politics in Japanese. Real world meetings are really boring, I would think, so I really don't know what Alfred is so obsessed about.
"No no, but you don't see! The people all represent different countries and stuff and it's really funny to see how things pan out if countries were actually people! Like some of the wars are just like England and Russia poking Germany with sticks. I'm gonna have to make you watch the movie, too…" No, what have I gotten myself into? This show seems absolutely terrible. And there is a movie?! I must calm myself down before I think of murdering Alfred about this. I already am thinking it, actually, so that is about useless.
"Alfred, I have no idea of the appeal still…" The American seems to sigh like I am hopeless. That might be a good thing. Maybe he will give up on actually trying to get me interested in this weird garbage. I don't even watch anime. I barely even watch TV… Books are so much more wholesome than those things people see on television… unless that book happens to be Fifty Shades of Grey. That is not very wholesome.
"It's funny because they embrace the stereotypes and stuff, the country personifications! And, like, France and England get into all these hilarious arguments! Canada is like… who is that! To be honest, I wouldn't even know what Canada is without Justin Bieber… so yeah!" I still do not get the concept. "Just watch it with me, dude!" If only Alfred could just describe it to me better. All would be well then. Well, at least, his drawing of Russia is really good. I approve of it, except for the fact that his nose is giant. He looks a lot like me… except with an exaggerated beak-like nose.
"You drew him really wide… Why?" Alfred snorts at my question as if it is obvious. Well, I am not in any… fandoms, is it? Besides book fandoms. Like Shakespeare and Dostoyevsky. Also, Tolstoy is a good one, too. His books are long and fantastic. Then, there is Nikolai Gogol. And then, there is Nabakov. I appear to like Russian writers a lot. Hm… Now, I think I need to read a new book. I will read something by Orwell. Oh, I hear one of his novels was based off of a Russian novel written earlier! We, was it? Ivan, you are digressing and probably spacing out… I smile shyly and giggle to myself in my embarrassment.
"So yeah…" I sheepishly ask Alfred to repeat himself. "Jeez, dude. Were you not paying attention?" I shrug in response and he sighs. Finally, he will repeat himself. "Well, it's cuz he's Russia and really tall and you're Russian and kind of chubby, so I guess I just modeled him after you cuz you guys look alike." I am not sure whether or not I should be offended at this right now.
"The nose is so big, though!" I mention. If it is modeled after me, I don't like it. I fold my arms together because this is just unfair. Alfred snorts and starts laughing at me and so I glare back at him. How dare he find my pain amusing? I don't find it amusing at all. I do not like the way he drew my nose, nor do I like how "chubby" he drew me. "I don't like it…" I growl at him and give him a death glare.
"Oops. Already uploaded it to Tumblr. I told ya I was gonna make the nose big. The character's nose is all big, too… canonically or something." All this coming out of his mouth is so stupid. I am going to have to get a Tumblr so I know what he is doing with my images that I do not like 24/7. I do not like this.
"I am going to get a Tumblr now, Alfred… but I think work has ended." It definitely has. We can go home. Work wasn't so bad, even with our injuries. I am grateful for this fact. I was worried that Alfred might be in unbearable pain the entire day. "Do you want me to take you home…? Since I drove you here…" Then, I might be able to spend extra time with my dear Alfred and maybe kiss him because I think kissing would sum up my feelings for him. We are dating, yet I am very uncertain as if I ever even loved him.
I mean, he is such an idiotic fool, but yet, I find him so dear. My relationship with Alfred is a lot like Gollum's with his precious in Tolkien's books. Alfred makes me crazy with his stupidity, yet it was very hard for me and somewhat hazardous to live without him for so long. He has to be mine, I have found out and I don't want anyone else to have him, not even my sister. I have come to realize that I actually have a deep jealousy of Natalya, one that I cannot explain and is a little bit conflicting.
"Yeah, I guess, babe…" Well, at least, Alfred still knows that we are dating, yet he still makes no move to kiss me. I wonder what would happen if I tried to hold his hand. We get up from the chairs and he looks at me. I glance down at Alfred's hands. They look tan and calloused. Mine are pale, but also calloused. "So… we goin'?" I nod my head and grab his hand. He blushes lightly and sighs. "Don't… tell anyone…" Now, he intertwines our fingers together and we are holding hands as the couples do.
"Oh, Alfred. You are so childish. I doubt anyone in the office gives a damn about our affairs!" I tell him, a large smile on my face. He gives me a glare back, but keeps our hands intertwined either way. We enter the elevator together. This elevator is glass, so it isn't very private, unfortunately. This is the time when most people exit work. We could have gone down the stairs, I suppose, but the elevator is a bit nicer than a stairwell. Anyway, the elevator dings and he starts walking briskly out with me. Our hands continue to be intertwined, which is causing a faint blush to peek through my exterior.
"You have a truck, right?" he asks me, stopping in the middle of the parking lot. I nod my head at him. "What do you do in the truck bed…?" That's a really weird question. I just keep tools and stuff I need to carry around every once in awhile. "Never mind… Let's just go home…" Let us just go home. Us. Apparently, I am now part of Alfred's home. Yes, he is mine. I feel like he will stay mine and I definitely will never let him go. Now, that I have what I want, it just seems pointless to let him go.
Finally, we get to my truck and Alfred gets in the passenger seat. He turns on the radio rudely. I did not tell him to turn it on and I certainly didn't give him permission to turn it on. It is turned to some pop channel I don't know the name off. I think he will stay at this channel, but then, I am struck wrong when he switches it to XM and goes to some punk pop/alternative channel. Okay. I don't know why he is being so weird. The song that comes on seems to get him in the singing mood because now he is singing… in a rather off-key tone. I wish he would stop, but I have to pay more attention to the road than at his terrible singing voice.
"My ship went down in a sea of sound. When I woke up alone, I had everything…" He seems to just hum a lot of this until the chorus. "I was carried away… Give me therapy! I'm a walking travesty, but I'm smiling at everything. Therapy, you were never a friend to me, and you can keep all your misery." More humming, kind of. He sings some parts. "Arrogant boy, love yourself so no one has to! They're better off without you! Arrogant boy, cause a scene like you're supposed to! They'll fall asleep without you… You're lucky if your memory remains…" His singing voice has seemed to get better. It sounds nice and the song is sounding is starting to sound sad. No, it has always sounded sad, but his terrible voice was making me want to laugh at instead. I hope it ends soon. Alfred seems to be depressing me.
"You sound so sad, Alfred…" I tell him while driving. The next song comes on, thankfully and it is a lot less depressing. I'm at a stoplight, so I can see what it is called. It is called "Madness" by Muse. It seems to describe my feelings perfectly for Alfred. "I- can't get these memories out of my mind like some kind of madness that started to evolve." This time, I can sing a song. "I- tried so hard to let you go, but some kind of madness is swallowing me whole! I have finally seen the light and I have finally realized, what you mean…" What does Alfred mean…? "I need to know if this is real love… or just madness keeping us afloat." Yes, this song is perfect for me. I… stop singing it.
"Why do you know the words to this song, Ivan?" I shrug and pull into the parking lot. I see no valid explanation to why I know that song besides that I have heard it before and it is on my iPod. I think Alfred could deduce why I have it unless he is dumber than I have figured so far.
"Why do you know the words to that other song? That was really such a sad song… I almost think you relate to it…" Alfred seems to have the same reaction to my reaction. "Alfred, you don't have to feel that way," I say quietly. This shouldn't concern me, but it does. Either way, I intertwine my fingers within his again and walk him over to the apartment building and into the elevator. I take him up to his room and he unlocks the door. I come in without asking.
"Don't you have your own place?" It does not seem like a big deal to me. I nod my head at him. It is even in this same apartment building. I think he realizes I want to stay here. Oh no, I am not going to let him get out of my sight just yet. He sighs and closes the door behind me. His normal goofy smile seems to have dissipated. I'm guessing that he is just tired. Or maybe that song really was speaking the truth. Either way, I walk over to the bedroom with him and watch him get undressed. "Can you help me take off the brace? Doc said I couldn't sleep in it…" I nod and help him get it off. "Thanks…" Yes, Alfred must just be tired.
It seems that that is more likely. I remove my coat and my pants only, but I do not remove my shirt or my boxers. Alfred seems to have replaced his pants with some flannel pajama bottoms and his shirt with just a plain white one. He gets into the bed and pats the spot next to him. Oh, he is allowing me to sleep with him again?
"Babe, just get in here. It's not the same." A deep flush spreads through my cheeks and I climb in next to him. He moves his head on top of my chest and puts an arm around me. This is entirely new, but I suppose that Alfred has come to terms with his feelings, which is a lot more than I can say for myself about Alfred. His head seems to be craning up now and I all the sudden feel a warm sensation on my lips. It's… a kiss. Alfred is kissing me. That warmth seems to have lasted such a short amount of time and now the American seems to be faking some sort of sleep. I can't even talk to him about this! Well, I have no choice but to fall asleep as well, that short, but wonderful kiss in my dreams.
That song, which I did not mention the name or the band who composed it is Therapy by All Time Low. I just really like that band. Whatever... Anyway, it's going to stay in Ivan until I say it isn't anymore. He still has things to figure out whereas Alfred has figured it out at this point...