A/N: This is the last sad one! It's when Charlie goes home for the first time after finding Bella. In the EPOV outtake from Chapter 28, Charlie mentions to Edward that he had a bit of a breakdown. This is that story. Because it's sad, I've decided to post a happy one right after. It will be the time Charlie took Lily to the playground for the first time. : ) Next update: Wednesday.

Chapter 23 Outtake: Charlie Goes Home

ChPOV

"Everything's all loaded up," Emmett grinned, dusting his hands off.

I laughed, outstretching my hand. "Yeah. Thanks for taking care of all three of those suitcases for me, gentlemen."

Jasper and Emmett each shook with me, and then I turned to Edward. "Thanks again, for…all this," I motioned to the house and Bella, mostly Bella.

"No need, Charlie," he nodded. He turned towards the house, a smile creeping up his face as he saw her standing in the doorway next to Lily.

Clearing my throat to get his attention again, he jerked back around as if he had forgotten I was still standing there. Probably had. That boy only had eyes for my Bella. Smirking at him, I shook his hand firmly once before climbing into the cruiser. I had a long drive ahead of me.

Once I hit the highway, it was clear all the way with nothing but my own thoughts to occupy myself. I tried to wrap my head around everything that had happened in the last three weeks. Hell, the last six weeks. From going half-crazy out of my mind with worry to finding her in those woods, thinking for a split second we were too late…

And then watching my baby girl get better. I wished I could say that I was the one that raised her to be that strong or even give the credit to her mom, but I knew better. Bells raised herself into the woman she was now, the kind of woman that had more strength than any man I'd ever known. I'd thought I had a few more years before I'd see her become a mother, but the bond between her and the little one…

I was going home a Grandpa. Er, Papaw.

Home alone.

I wished I could bring her home with me, but I knew it wasn't right. If I tried to take her, I'd probably find Lily tucked away in a suitcase. Edward might even be in the trunk. The three of them…there was no separating them now.

It didn't make going home without her any less painful. I'd only just gotten her back and I'd seen her with more life in her these last few weeks than in the last two years. Even with all the scars and bruises on her tiny, starved body, there was no mistaking her happiness.

That was the real reason I didn't try to take her home. That and the whole needing help with showers thing.

Plus, being in Forks just brought her that much closer to Jacob. That little punk had his cards marked. Every damn day we were at the hospital, I would get called down to reception and have to tell him to take his cheap flowers and leave. He'd tried every trick in the book. Tried playing the best friend card, the caring ex-boyfriend, the pining ex-fiancé …he never was the sharpest tool in the shed. He'd tried getting angry, tried crying, tried guilting me into 'letting Bella make her own decisions.' If I didn't love his father like he was my own brother, he'd have been fish food for the mudsuckers in Lake Ozette a long time ago.

I'd screwed up more times with her than I could count, but I could at least keep her from him.

God, the screw-ups. Why she didn't just dump me on my ass years ago, I'd never know. I let Renee walk away with her, take her all over the country, left her to raise herself while I stayed in my little hole away from the world. I'd thought, or at least I'd told myself at the time that it was the right thing. A girl needed her mother and Renee was always a little crazy, but she loved Bella in her own way.

But it never occurred to me she'd think I didn't want to see more of her, that there was even a slight chance I'd say no when she called me up and asked if she could live with me. I'd been so grateful to see more of her I played up the overprotective fatherly role, just to try and show her she always meant so much to me, even though I was missing some kind of gene that left me incapable of just saying that aloud.

She'd let me love her the only way I knew how, cleaning my gun in front of boys, making her keep a curfew, not that she ever pushed the rules and needed one. She'd been pretty much the perfect daughter and then I made her think there was something wrong with her by pushing her to be with Jacob. Looking back, I think it was just another time I was being selfish. Jacob had strong ties to the area and would never leave La Push. And if she married him, she'd always be close. I never took into account that maybe that wouldn't be what she wanted.

I wondered sometimes what would have happened if I never shoved her onto Jacob. If she would've gone out of state to one of those Ivy universities that she got accepted to. If she would've still written her books, or maybe written even more because she didn't have to put her life on hold to recover from all the crap he did to her.

Jesus. If somebody could hear my thoughts right now, they'd be begging for a bullet to the brain.

I pulled into the driveway, staring up at my house. It was dark and about to rain, surprise, surprise. Fitting for my mood, it seemed.

Time for a drink.

I was glad to find three six-packs in the fridge as I wasn't eager to make any late night trips to the corner store. Sitting at the kitchen table, I drained through four tall boys quickly, stewing in my thoughts.

It was so quiet in this house, had been ever since Bella left years ago. She'd always been a quiet light here, leaving dinner for me warm in the oven on nights when I got off my shifts late, never once leaving a dirty dish in the sink or a speck of dust on the floor. It burned straight through my chest to remember her visits to check on me each month, never saying a word about the mess in the place. It wasn't her lasagna or the clean bathroom she'd leave behind, it was the memories of her. Her laugh as I tried to explain away the last explosion in the microwave or her sweet smile and shake of her head when I'd offer to help half-heartedly.

I'd done everything half-assed when it came to her. Pushing back from the table roughly, I started to feel those beers but shook it off, grabbing another. I looked around my kitchen, still mostly clean from Bella's last visit, now almost two months ago. Except for that oven. I'd made a mess reheating her lasagna and never cleaned it because I'd gotten the call she'd been taken.

Well, I wasn't waiting for her to do it for me this time. Reaching under the sink, my hand hit a couple of bottles before I found something I thought was okay to use.

Ooh. And my whiskey.

I'd forgotten about that bottle down there. Well, if I was ever in the mood to need the hard stuff, tonight was it. I took two generous swigs of it, chasing the welcome burn with another beer.

One six-pack down. Two to go.

I got on my hands and knees, steadying myself on the oven door as I peered inside. There was charred, black…stuff on the bottom and I wasn't exactly sure what I needed to do. Squinting at the directions on the can, I decided to skip that presoaking nonsense and just get to it.

I sprayed a generous amount to the bottom of the oven, having missed the part of the directions that said to stay back a foot when applying. The oven filled quickly with the acidic smelling mist and I jerked up out of there, hitting my head on the roof of it on my way out.

"Argh, sonuvabitch, goddamn, piece-a-shit," I cursed, rubbing the top of my head and glaring at the oven. "You wanna play hardball, you bastard?"

I stomped over to my sink, grabbing some steel wool to attack. I scrubbed my fingers raw, but I got that sucker clean. Celebrating with another swig or four, I grabbed another beer before leaving the kitchen. The smell of that cleaner made me sick to my stomach.

Stumbling into the living room, I plopped down into my La-Z-Boy. As I went to sip on my beer, my eyes came into focus on the TV right in front of me. My beer froze on my lips as I swallowed bitterly, remembering more and more of my failures to Bella.

"Stupid piece of shit!" I yelled, chucking my beer at the screen. It splattered and fizzed with little effect, so I charged it. "How many hours a day'd I watch you, huh? 'Cause the goddamn Mariners're sooo important?"

Wrapping my hands around the top and bottom, I yanked, feeling the wires in the wall tug and start to rip apart with great satisfaction.

"C'mon," I grunted, pulling again, this time hearing the wall crack as it gave way and the mounts broke off from it.

"Oomph," I groaned, as the TV fell to the floor sideways. Huffing with exertion, I started to drag it through the room. I wanted this trashy piece of shit out. I dragged through the kitchen, hearing the scratch of the linoleum beneath the TV's sharp edges. Kicking open the back door, I pushed it out, watching it land in the back yard in a puddle of mud. "Good riddance."

Ah, hell. I think I sprained my back.

Draining another beer as I walked back into the living room, I nodded in satisfaction at the blank hole in my wall. Until my eyes fell on the fishing poles propped up against the corner next to my tackle box.

"Fuck you, too!" I shouted, tripping over something as I made my way over to them. I attempted to snap them over my leg, but those stupid titanium poles wouldn't budge. Grabbing the tackle box, I tried slamming that down on them to make a dent, make a crack, anything to get them gone.

Even back when I only saw Bells for two weeks a year, I still fished. 'Cause I was a bitter old man that thought he was doing the right thing not talking to her so I didn't badmouth her mom. All I really did was lose precious time with my little girl. Time I could never get back.

Giving up on the tackle box approach, I threw the poles out of sight and ran the box to the kitchen where I dumped every last bait and hook into the trash. I wanted to burn it, but I couldn't find a goddamn match to save my life. I started rummaging around the house to try and find one, but instead I found what I had stumbled on before.

Stupid, four-hundred dollar fish-finding sonar machine. Stupid, expensive, piece of ignore-my-daughter crap machine.

"Well, you can just go to hell with the Sony," I sneered, throwing it down on the TV outside, grinning as I saw the screen crack. I swayed back into the kitchen, taking a rest on the floor there, my adrenaline fading. I wasn't left with much once it did.

Something started buzzing somewhere and it took me a minute to figure out it was coming from inside my shirt pocket. Fumbling around, I was able to bring my phone out as I tried to focus on the screen. I couldn't really see the words, but it was from Bella. Probably called to check on me and made sure I got home okay.

Was I supposed to call her? No, I wasn't gonna call her. She didn't need to hear me all upset like this. I was no good to nobody. This was why I was alone. I should stay alone. I should warn Sue off. She was too nice to get mixed up with the likes of me. It took a few tries, but I was able to get it ringing eventually.

"Mmello?"

"I woke you up," I realized. "I shouldn't've called at all. Sssorry."

"Charlie? Is that you?"

Swallowing, I nodded.

"Charlie? Are you there?"

"Yeah, s'me. I gotta go. I'm no good for you, Sue. You stay far away from me. I'm…I'm…no good."

"Charlie, what's going on? Have you been drinking? Where are you?"

"Home," I sighed. "I'm at home. All alone. No Bella. No good for her, either."

"Oh, dear. You're not planning on driving anywhere, are you?"

I shook my head, sliding down the refrigerator a bit.

"Charlie?"

"What?"

"I asked if you…oh, never mind. You're not to leave that house, understand?"

"Mmyeah," I grunted, pushing myself back up straight.

"Alright. Give me an hour."

And I heard a click. I didn't know what she needed an hour for, but she'd hung up and I'd told her what she needed to know. I tripped up the stairs to hit the head and tripped back down, ready for another drink. I just grabbed the whole six-pack out of the fridge and lugged it over to my couch. I'd take care of that stupid fucking La-Z-Boy tomorrow.

Smiling sadly at the photo albums on my coffee table, I snagged the one on top and sat down with it.

"My little baby girl," I sniffed, rubbing her chubby cheeks.

I knew everyone always thought they had the prettiest baby in the world, but they'd never seen my Bella as a baby. I laughed at pictures of myself, just turned nineteen and afraid to break her. I'd never been more terrified than that first time I held her. And I'd never loved someone so much as her, not even Renee.

I'd spent so many years bitter and angry toward Renee. Bella had suffered then, because I couldn't stand the thought of speaking to Renee to get to her. Over time, the pain had faded to indifference that unfortunately passed onto Bella. I couldn't seem to stop hurting her.

"Oh, Charlie."

Jumping, I reached blindly for a weapon to use against the intruder, knocking my beer over onto the album.

"Shit!" I yelled, stumbling over my own feet as I tried to stand.

"Oh, Jesus. Just sit down."

Too drunk to argue, I obeyed. A lamp on the end table was flicked on and Sue's worried face came into view.

"Stay," she ordered, pointing a finger straight at me. I nodded, slumping back against the couch. That's what she meant when she said an hour. I was too drained to be embarrassed or care. She came back in a minute later with a towel and a glass of water.

"Drink that now," she said as she mopped up the beer. "Coffee's cookin'. Say goodbye to these."

She waved the remainder of my six-pack at me before taking it into the kitchen where I heard her drop them in the trash. She moved about in there for a bit, but the day was starting to wear on me and I couldn't find it in me to try and figure it out. It smelled good, whatever it was.

After a while, she came back in with a tray and set it down in front of me.

"You eat that and drink that and then we'll talk," she said simply, leaving me to it while she disappeared back into the kitchen.

She's in there a lot.

Shrugging to myself, I wolfed down the bowl of beans and rice and threw back the black coffee as fast as I had those dozen or so beers I drank earlier. The more the room started to come into focus, the worse I felt. I'd just destroyed my house and called up the first woman I'd found attractive in twenty years in the middle of the night to see it all. I hadn't even taken her on a date yet and she was over here taking care of me.

I wondered if she'd agree to elope.

She walked back in then, drying off her hands on a towel. Sitting down on the couch across from me, she settled in and looked at me expectantly.

"So, Charlie? Had a bit of an argument with your house, I take it?"

Against my will, a laugh escaped me, followed by another one. She smiled then, leaning back.

"There we go. That's a much better look on you than drunk and stupid."

Embarrassed, I nodded, smiling sadly.

"I'm real sorry you had to see me like that, Sue. I shouldn't've called you."

"No," she argued, shaking her head. "I'm glad you did. You obviously need someone right now and I'll freely admit I don't mind it being me."

"Yeah?" I asked, surprised.

"Yeah," she replied softly, laying her hand palm-up between us on the couch. I reached over slowly, slipping my hand into a woman's for the first time in too long.

"I'm really sorry," I mumbled quietly.

She pursed her lips at me, her eyes crinkling a bit at the corners with an invisible smile. "Well…this won't be a regular thing, will it? You did mean to take me for a proper night out sometime, didn't you?"

Chuckling, I nodded. "I did. I still do, if you're willing."

"Wouldn't be here if I wasn't, Chuck," she winked.

"Maybe next Sunday? No drunk cleanup required," I joked.

"I'll agree on one condition," she began, eyeing me playfully.

"Name it."

"Tell me what happened tonight," she said softly.

I swallowed hard, blinking quickly. I wasn't about to cry in front of a woman.

"I think…I might have had a little bit of a breakdown," I admitted, heaving a deep sigh at the sight of the large hole where my flat-screen used to be.

"About?" she urged gently.

And it all just came tumbling out. Never in my life had I spoken so many words in a row to a person. I told her about leaving Bella tonight, or last night at that point, every thing I'd done wrong with her that I could think or, probably scaring her away forever, but I just couldn't stop. Some of the words I choked out in pain, others I spit out in anger, most of them I admitted in shame.

"I guess that's why I called you," I finished. "I just…you seem like a fantastic woman. I didn't want you to waste your time on an old man that can barely take care of himself. You deserve somebody better'n me."

She shook her head at me sadly, wiping away a few tears.

"Do you want to know that I think?" she asked hoarsely.

I nodded, my throat too thick to speak.

"I think you're missing the bigger picture. Whatever's happened in the past is just that. The past. And you can't do a thing to change it. But you've got her now and you love her and you're trying your best. That's all we can ever do when it comes to our kids.

"And I also think you don't get to decide for me what I deserve or what I get. Besides, you owe me a date, remember?" she smiled.

"I do," I nodded, smiling wryly. "Thank you, Sue."

She stood up, pushing me back to lying down on the couch and settled down against me. Pulling the old quilt down over us, she snuggled into my shoulder, urging me to sleep.

"You're welcome, Charlie."

.