Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and will never make any money out of this WHATSOEVER!
A/N: So this is the Sequel to Losing the Fight... if you have not read that I would suggest you read it first as you probably won't understand some references in this one otherwise! :) Rated M for content that if you keep reading you will find out, Slash so if you don't like, don't read! Contains references to Self-Harm and Eating Disorders *could be triggering*. Please keep yourself safe while reading- if you have any questions, don't hesitate to put them in a review or a PM!
This chapter is in Draco's POV
'46, 47, 48, 49… 50.' I counted in my head, then my elbows gave way underneath me and my face was pressed against the wooden floorboard. I had so let myself go; a couple of months ago I had been able to do ten times that number… the voice was right, I had let myself become weak and pathetic. But that was going to change now. Now I was ready to fight – my strength would return to me, it wouldn't be as difficult. I knew how to do it now. I stood up, my arms still shaking slightly as they had become unused to frequent exercise. How did my sequence used to go? Sit ups, push ups, star jumps, squats. Would someone hear me if I did star jumps? This wasn't like the manor where there was absolutely no one to hear me no matter what I did – here was fraught with possibilities of being caught. I had checked the floorboards and almost memorized which ones squeaked, if I stayed away from them then I should be able to do this silently.
'1, 2, 3, 4, 5…' I started to count, and kept on going. I wondered how many I could do… more than 50, I was sure! One hundred, I'd try for a hundred and if I was alright after those then I'd do another hundred.
I collapsed back onto my bed breathing heavily, I really needed to up my game on this again if I wanted to get anywhere. No more slacking, no more ignoring the voice when it told me to do things, I was serious. On average Harry woke up at about ten in the morning, I think out of respect he would wait a little while before coming and knocking on my door (with a good morning cup of tea in his hand). All I had to do was wake up in an hour before then (which normally happened anyway) and I'd be able to get through my whole exercise routine and have a shower before he came to my door. Then I'd be able to do it before I went to bed too.
'But what if Harry catches me?' I wondered, that thought scared me. 'He would know what I was doing if he did…'
'Do you really think he's going to catch you? Come on Draco, you have enough brains to outsmart Potter – it wouldn't take much!' The voice told me. 'And do you expect him to catch you anyway? You're good at this. You've done it before! Just this time you have to be extra careful to make sure there's no chance of Potter finding out.'
'Yeah, you're right. I can do this! I will do this!' I agreed. This late at night it felt like anything in the world was possible, and if I wanted to lose twenty pounds then I would do it!
My routine felt strange doing it for the first few times after such a long break; the two days after I had done it for the first time the muscles all around my knees and shoulders ached as they had grown unaccustomed to not being used. But I pushed through the discomfort – well I had to, I would do anything to get to where I wanted to be.
"The end will justify the pain it took to get you there."
There was one thing that I was really struggling against; food. The last time I had been doing my routine I knew it had been working as I didn't eat anything during the day as well so I hadto be burning calories… but while I was here I still was getting fed three meals a day… one meal a day used to be difficult to burn off, let alone three!
My other big fear was my outpatient appointments, which I still had, although less frequently now. I was convinced that Healer Kiely and Healer Kirkwood would notice something when I went in. They were no longer weighing me every time I went in, which was a bonus as I knew I'd be spotted straight away if they did… I didn't want to be found out… this was my secret. Mine and the voice's secret. No one else was to know, ever…
A/N: I'm sorry I've been so useless in updating! I'm going to try and update tomorrow cause I've got loads written up I just need to type it! Please review!