"Blair? I'm leaving now." Jim stood hesitantly beside his partner's bed. "You just rest, okay? I'll be back after the.....I'll be back later."
Blair swallowed hard and looked up at Ellison. The funeral. He had been going to say the funeral. "Yeah." He blinked furiously and then looked back at his friend. "You'd better go. Don't want to be late."
Jim squeezed Blair's right shoulder, something he had been doing frequently in the past three days. It was like he felt if he touched him enough, Blair wouldn't notice that his other arm was still completely numb. All it was doing was reminding him more forcefully of his condition.
"I'm just going to take a nap." He closed his eyes and waited until he heard Jim's footsteps receding in the distance before he reopened them, resigning himself to a morning of staring out the window. He had been moved to an intermediate care room last night, so at least he had a window to look out.
It took a few moments before he really focused on what he was seeing. A beautiful sunny day. Although the October chill was still in the air, since Jim had been wearing his jacket. Blair sighed. He couldn't even stare out the window in peace. Today should have been an ugly day, overcast and dismal, maybe even with snow or freezing rain. It always rained for funerals on TV. It only seemed right. Even nature should be weeping for the loss.
"Sandy?" Quick light footsteps headed toward the bed. "Hey, none of that now." A slim hand brushed tears from his eyes, tears he hadn't known he was shedding. Blinking again, he turned to glance self-consciously up at Megan.
She seemed to not be bothered by the fact that he was crying. "I just came to sit with you for a while, Sandy." She favored him with a gentle smile. "Thought maybe you could use some company."
****************
The weather seemed just perfect for Dani's funeral. That was Daryl's first thought on arriving at the cemetery. If she had been there, she would have loved the sunny cloudless day. That thought lightened his mood for the space of a few seconds, but then the fact that she wasn't with him to enjoy the day immediately plunged him back to despair. His father stayed close to him for support, a fact which Daryl appreciated but could never articulate.
They went to sit directly behind Dani's family, and for the first time he lost the self absorption he had been floundering in since the accident. Dani's parents and younger brother were obviously grieving, too, and he realized with a twinge of guilt that he had never even given them a thought.
He glanced around idly and realized that a large number of students from his school and graduates from the past few years had turned out. All of Major Crimes had come as well, with the exception of Megan Conner, but she hadn't known Dani well. He wondered fleetingly where she was, but then the service began. His attention immediately switched to what the minister was saying.
It was a simple service, and Daryl knew that Dani would have wanted it that way. She had never been one for a lot of fuss about herself, and although it was obvious everyone was genuinely grieving, the focus was more on a celebration of the life she had lived than on her death. Despite his tight grasp on his rage and grief, a small measure of peace slipped past the fortress he had built around his heart as he remembered the beautiful person they were here to honor.
******************
It had been nearly a week since the accident, and Simon was finally tempted to breathe a sigh of relief. Although Daryl continued to be quiet and sad, he seemed to have lost a lot of the anger that had characterized the first three days. Something seemed to have happened the day of Dani's funeral, but he was at a loss to point out just what it was. The only sore point between them was that Daryl still vehemently refused to go to the hospital to see Blair.
Jim had been less fortunate in his dealings with Blair. As he physically began to heal, his emotions seemed to take on a life of their own, and he would turn away in tears at odd times, embarrassed to be caught crying. He still showed little interest in getting well, and mostly ignored his physical therapist's requests to attempt to exercise his injured arm. He seemed to get highly agitated every time someone touched him, so Jim had backed off on the physical reassurances, although it was hard. Although touching his partner seemed to bother Blair, it had been comforting to Jim to feel the warmth of his skin and feel the blood rushing through his veins. He contented himself with listening to Blair's breathing and heartbeat. Anything to reassure himself that Sandburg had yet again survived a disaster.
Megan Conner had become a regular visitor, and Blair seemed to perk up just a little bit during her visits. Today was no exception. Conner was sitting in the chair beside Blair's bed, casually filling him in on all of the happenings at the station. As Jim watched from the doorway, she even drew a small smile from his partner with her antics. This had happened a few times now, but it was always short lived and Blair went back to the silent depression he seemed to have settled into.
Pushing away from the door, Jim stepped into the room. "Hey, Chief! Megan, how's it going?"
Conner stood up and smiled at Jim. "Just fine, Jim. I was just filling Sandy in on that pretty suspect who was hitting on Rafe and turned out to be named Ralph Johnson."
Jim grinned. "Yeah, I wish you could have seen his face when he realized exactly who he had cuffed to his desk. None of us suspected he was a man!"
Conner looked from Jim to Blair and back again, then tucked her hair behind her ear. "Well. I think I'm going to head out now, Sandy. It's been good seeing you. You take care, okay? I'll be back soon." She nodded to Jim, grabbed her jacket and quietly left the room.
"Blair, Dr Palmer says you're still giving your therapist a hard time. All she wants to do is help you get better. You could at least try to do what she asks." Jim launched right into the heart of the matter. He had learned to avoid asking Blair how he was feeling or if he was doing better, because those questions invariably started the embarrassed tears.
"What's the point?" Blair snarled. "I still can't feel my arm and I never will." He turned away, those infuriating tears starting anyway.
Before he could stop himself, Jim reached out and grabbed Blair's good arm, squeezing it reassuringly. Blair stunned him when he struggled to get free, and Jim ended up with an armful of struggling anthropologist. "Blair, calm down. I'm sorry. I forgot. Calm down and I'll let you go. I don't want you to hurt yourself any worse." When Blair's struggles increased, rather than ceasing, Jim wrapped both arms around his friend, indulging in a hug while attempting to restrain Blair at the same time. "Chief, why don't you want to be touched? What's going on here?"
Blair continued to struggle, although he had weakened visibly. "I can't stand it because it reminds me that I can't feel my other arm!" The words were choked out, and Jim had the feeling that his friend would have done anything to retrieve them once they were out in the open. The struggles increased again. "Jim, let go! Stop it, Jim. You're hurting me!"
Jim instantly let go of his partner and Blair's struggles ceased. Both men were breathing hard, and they stared at each other for a moment. Then Jim's heart picked up a beat. "Wh..what did you just say?"
Blair glared. "I said you're......" He trailed off, his face blanching instantly. He swallowed hard. "Jim....my arm hurts."
It was little more than a whisper, but more than enough for sentinel hearing. Before the words were completely out of Blair's mouth, Ellison had fled for the doctor, in his haste forgetting the call button beside Blair's pillow.