Eva found comfort in Phoenix, but around her, the Games raged on.
In the thick of the crowd in the Square, Eva remained at Phoenix's side, hiding together from watching eyes, hands locked together.
Hiding her face in Phoenix's shirt, Eva tried to block out the sounds of children dying as the battle around the Cornucopia heated. Only moments before, she'd breathed a sigh of relief as Maysilee had rushed unhurt away from the fighting, disappearing from the beautiful meadow – no longer beautiful, but stained with innocent blood – and fled to the trees that surrounded the looming mountain caps.
Maysilee was safe – for now – and Eva could relax for a moment.
Almost half of the tributes were killed that morning, and somewhere, eighteen families were grieving.
Two of those families were somewhere in the crowd of District 12, and as the screens went dark, Eva could hear their cries as they made their ways back to the darkness of the Seam.
Eva followed Phoenix's lead as they made their way from the Square, her hand still wrapped in his larger one.
"You want me to walk you the Edge?" Phoenix asked softly, referring to the border between Town and Seam.
Eva shook her head wearily, leaning into Phoenix's strong warmth as they walked on. Home was the last place she wanted to be, the stillness, the eerie silence – even her mother's soft embrace couldn't persuade her to go home. No matter how long she'd lived there, the house of her childhood didn't really feel like home anymore.
Eva didn't know where she belonged anymore.
Town wasn't home, but neither was the Seam; Eva was a wonderer in her mind, and the only place she really felt at home was with Phoenix – and even that scared her a little.
She knew that sooner or later, she would need to tell people about her feelings for Phoenix – she'd need to tell her father. And as intense as the love she felt for Phoenix was, as wholly as she cared for him, she wasn't sure if she was ready to be honest with those she knew about what she was feeling.
She wondered what they would think; her parents, her friends… Wade.
She knew already that it couldn't possibly be anything good.
Hand still enclosed tightly in Phoenix's Eva sighed.
"I wish everything wasn't so messed up – I wish I was braver, I'm tired of hiding."
Beside her, Eva felt Phoenix nod in agreement.
"I know." He said sadly. "It doesn't seem fair that we have to be secretive – to sneak around – because of what people might think."
The two of them continued to walk on, going no place imparticular, but unconsciously heading towards the Meadow.
"I want you to be mine Eva," Phoenix said then, breaking the silence. "I've wanted it since that first night I saw you at the fence, since the night I taught you how to climb a tree."
He was smiling then, and Eva joined him; the memory of him hauling her up the tree was both comforting and amusing.
"I want that too." She said, her voice was soft and breathy, filled with desire
The feelings rushing up inside her, felt good and strange all at the same time.
"I want to tell them," she said. "But I don't think I know how yet."
As the two of them came to a stop on the outskirts of the Meadow, Phoenix looked at Eva knowingly, understanding in his face.
"I know you're scared – I'm scared too actually – of what my dad might say, what he might do… he might not even care, but I do. Don't feel like you need to rush yourself though Eva; I'm not going anywhere – and if you ask me, I'm already yours…"
Phoenix paused then, stroking Eva's knuckles gently with his thumb.
"As much as I want to be together now, I can wait – we've got our whole lives to spend together. We'll be braver one day, and then we won't have any more secrets – no more sneaking around."
Phoenix was smiling, but Eva could tell he was completely serious – he meant what he said, and it made her love him even more.
"You're right."
Settling against Phoenix's side, she listened, only half aware as Phoenix talked on, his voice low and slow as they sat together in the fading light.
Tracing his fingers with her own, Eva thought of Maysilee and felt a pang of sadness.
Her friend might never know this feeling, the safety of being wrapped in the arms of the person you love. She might never know the soft words whispered between two lovers.
Eva wondered if Maysilee felt the same loss, and if she too mourned the things she might never do.
She almost felt guilty, making plans for a future with Phoenix, and falling deeper in love while her friend was miles and miles away fighting to stay alive. Since they'd made up, Eva had noticed how Phoenix tried to avoid the topic of the Games, almost as if he knew how deeply they hurt her, how hopeless they made her feel.
Months ago, his tip toeing around the Games might have upset her, but now, Eva was grateful to have something to direct her from the murder on the screens.
Eva felt herself jerk awake, realizing suddenly that she'd fallen asleep in Phoenix's arms.
The sudden movement caused Phoenix, who'd also managed to drift off, to stir, mumbling something incoherent as he did.
"Phoenix!" She hissed, trying to keep her voice at a whisper as she shook his shoulder.
"Phoenix, we fell asleep, we've been out here all night – it's almost morning!"
This shook him not only out of sleep, but into alertness. He laughed thickly, sitting up and brushing grass out of his hair as Eva stood, feverishly trying to smooth out the wrinkles in her skirt.
Her mind was spinning, and she remembered telling her mother the night before that she planned to stop by the Donner home to see Rosemary before coming home. Her mother – maybe even her father – would have noticed by now that she'd never come home.
She felt a knot in her stomach that couldn't possibly be anything other than fear.
"Ohhh, they're going to know, they'll figure it out – I'm dead!" She said and panic coursed through her.
Phoenix stood then beside her, placing his hand on Eva's shoulder in an effort to calm her.
"Maybe they went to bed," he said. "Maybe they forgot you were even out?"
Eva shook her head, rubbing ferociously at her skin where the grass beneath her had left prominent lines across her legs and arms.
"My mother doesn't forget something like that – I mean, I've snuck out before, but I've never just not come home!"
Still beside her, Phoenix went to work pulling pieces of dried grass from her tangled blond hair, rubbing her arms reassuringly.
"It'll be alright; maybe this is how it's supposed to happen."
Eva knew he was trying to comfort her, but she could hear the question in his voice, almost like he wasn't sure of himself or what he was saying.
Shaking her head rapidly, Eva sent him a look of apology.
"I'm sorry – I need to go!"
Phoenix nodded but she never saw it, she was already flying down the path to her house, darting through streets and slipping through fences.
She slowed once her home came into view, small homely against the Town, the apothecary sign hanging from above the door. Walking as quickly, and as quietly as she could Eva did her best to smooth down her hair, picking the last bits on twine and grass from her sweater as she crept to the back of the house and through the back door, hoping that her parents had gone to bed.
No such luck.
Sitting at the kitchen table, a coffee cup in her hand, Milla Newhaven sat with her eyes on her daughter. Dark circles were under her narrowed eyes, and dread grew stronger in Eva's stomach.
Even her kind, soft spoken mother could be angry, Eva knew from experience.
"Where have you been Eva – and don't lie to me."
Eva remained, frozen where she was in front of the back door, her mouth open as she searched for an answer.
"Does dad know?" Was the only thing that came out of her mouth.
Eva's mother shook her head slowly, her eyes disappointed, and her mouth in a tight line.
"He went to bed last night, right after we got home."
Eva slowly approached the then, taking a deep, shaky breath before taking a seat across from her mother.
"Do you really want to know the truth?" She asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.
Her mother nodded.
"That's what I asked for isn't it?"
Eva nodded, eyeing the top of the stairs, hoping her father wasn't up yet. She paused another moment, taking another deep breath before answering.
"Alright, I'll tell you the truth – all of it, but I don't think you're going to like it."
And with that, even made sure there were no more secrets between her and her mother.
Finally, a new chapter - you have no idea how much trouble I had to go through to get this to you all. So yeah, I have a new account, I'm deleting it once I get all my work from it however. Hope you all enjoy this lastest bit of Eva's story! Also, since my old version of this story is no longer active, I'd love to have some reviews to replace all the ones I lost, haha. Let me know what you all think!
Also, the first chapter of my new Katniss/Peeta story will be comoing out today or tomorrow! Go read it! :)