Chapter 13

Gavin stood resolute as he watched the templars escort Feynriel inside the Circle Tower. The boy's mother had stated that this was her wish and he saw it through, despite angry protests from Merrill and Anders. As the half-elven boy reached the doors, he cast one last look back. The anger in his eyes was expected, but the contempt was not. Gavin felt a wave of guilt wash over him, for the umpteenth time. With a low growl, he turned and walked swiftly towards the gate to the Merchant quarter. He heard Fenris and Varric running to catch up but didn't lessen his stride.

"You did the right thing Hawke," the elven warrior panted out as he fell into step beside the mage.

"I keep telling myself that," Gavin replied. "Maybe one day I'll come to believe it."

"Hawke, Anders is wrong," Fenris snarled. "He's blinded by his hatred for the circle and the templars who guard it. He totally ignored the fact that demons were already tempting the boy in his dreams. That untrained boy mage would never be able to resist their temptations, you know that even if he doesn't."

"The elf's right," Varric gasped out, struggling to keep up with the human's long strides. "Anders is a bloody lunatic. Don't take anything he says seriously."

"And Merrill?" Gavin eyed the dwarf. "You've championed her cause, taken her side. Is she wrong too?"

"Merrill's just angry that you wouldn't let the boy go to her people," the dwarf shrugged. "She thinks the sun rises and sets on the Dalish."

"Hawke, Merrill left her clan because she believed the Keeper to be wrong and pursued her blood magic anyway," Fenris told him. "To then turn around and insist that the Keeper can help train the boy puts the lie to that belief. She's a fool and a hypocrite," he finished with contempt.

Gavin sighed and then rubbed his temples. He was getting another bloody headache. "Look, I don't want to discuss this anymore. We've been arguing about this all the way from the coast to here. You, Merrill, Anders, you've all said your peace. Just drop it," he snapped. He paused beside a fruit vendor and turned to his two companions with a sigh, "I'm sorry. Look, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but right now I just want to be left alone. Please."

Fenris and Varric glanced at each other and then shrugged. "Okay Hawke," the elf said softly. "You know where to find us if you need us." He turned away to head towards the crumbling mansion that he called home.

Varric hesitated a moment before nodding at the mage and turning to head to the Hanged Man. He didn't like leaving Hawke alone when he was in such a mood, but staying wouldn't help. He briefly toyed with the idea of going to find Anders and giving him a thrashing. Then he shook his head as he realized how much of a waste of his time that would be. The healer mage was crazy and there was no reasoning with crazy people.

Gavin waited until they were gone and then sighed with relief. He needed time alone to think the whole mess through and those two weren't helping, though he appreciated their efforts. As he walked around the market idly looking at the goods for sale, he couldn't help but recall the look in Feynriel's eyes. It was the contempt in the boy's eyes that bothered him the most. He saw an empty bench in the middle of the square and sat down putting his head in his hands.

He understood why the boy would feel that way. He was a mage who had lived his whole life free of the circle. He knew that he would hate to be locked up and yet he had readily turned the boy over to suffer just that. It was only because of the sacrifice of his parents that he and Bethany had been able to have a somewhat normal life and be just like any other child. But, his father had been a mage and had been able to train them. There was no one who could help the boy in the same manner.

As for the Dalish, well Merrill was a fool to think the boy could just join them and everything would be okay. The boy was half-human and they were looked upon with the same scorn as a full blooded human would be. And once they learned that he heard demons in his sleep, they would be fearful as well. The boy would most likely end up the victim of an unfortunate 'accident' or something.

The safest and best place for the boy was the circle, he told himself again. Yet, even as he tried to convince himself of that fact, he couldn't keep from feeling like a hypocrite. If he was going to turn mages over to the templars, he should treat them all the same and turn over his companions as well. After all, one was a blood mage and the other was an abomination. Until now, he told himself it wasn't his place to do so. He growled angrily and jumped to his feet.

In a fog, he wandered aimlessly, oblivious to the fact that night was starting to fall. The streets of Kirkwall weren't safe to roam alone after dark, a fact that completely slipped his mind. It wasn't until he was grabbed from behind and shoved against a wall that he remembered that fact. He was much bigger than his assailant and he shoved the man off him and turned around. Before he could do anything else, something hit him upside the head. He staggered back as pain exploded in his skull and warm blood gushed down the side of his face. He began to prepare himself to use his magic to teach the thugs a lesson and then stopped. Maybe he deserved this.

Fenris was sitting and staring silently into the fire when Fang suddenly rose to his feet barking and growling. He watched in surprise as the dog rushed out of the room, down the stairs and headed for the front door. He got up and hurried after him. He found the dog growling and scratching at the door as if trying to open it. Curious, he opened the door and followed the dog outside onto the streets.

Fang ran fast but silently across the sqare, the elf hurrying after him. He saw the dog suddenly howl in rage and charge right into the middle of a group of half a dozen men. Drawing his sword, he waded into the middle of it. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a crumpled shape moaning on the ground. Somehow, the dog had sensed that there was trouble and charged to the rescue. In short order, he and the dog had either killed or driven off the thugs.

Turning to the figure, he saw the dog was pawing at it and whimpering. Bending down beside the body, he reached out and turned it over, gasping when he saw who it was, "Hawke?"

Gavin opened his eyes with a groan to see Fenris and Fang. "How-"

"Your dog went nuts," Fenris explained. "Can you stand?"

"I think so," Gavin gasped out and slowly got up, leaning heavily on the elf.

Fenris turned and led him back towards his mansion. "It's uncanny how Fang seems to always know when you're in trouble."

"He's a good dog," Gavin mumbled, concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other.

Fenris said nothing more until he had gotten Hawke inside and into a bed. He turned to the dog, "Go get Anders." The dog barked once and ran back out the door. Going to it, he closed it and then went to the kitchen to draw some water and put it on the fire. Then he went and sat beside Hawke.

"Thank you," Gavin whispered. Maker, he hurt all over.

Fenris nodded, "Just rest now." He didn't want the mage to exert himself. As they silently waited for the healer, the elf studied the man lying on the bed. Finally, he couldn't keep from saying, "It looks like you didn't fight back. Why?"

Gavin didn't say anything for a while, not quite sure of the answer himself. Finally, seeing the elf waiting patiently for an answer, he struggled to express his feelings. "I'd been thinking all day about how I've looked the other way as Anders and Merrill went about their lives freely, even if in secret. I've never been locked up and never even considered turning myself over to the circle. Yet I blithely handed Feynriel over to them. If that's not hypocritical, I don't know what is. I guess I felt I deserved this."

Hearing a gasp behind him, Fenris turned and saw Anders standing in the doorway, a distraught look on his face. He got to his feet and angrily faced the mage, "This is your fault."

"Hawke, no one deserves to be beaten up, you least of all," the healer hurried to the bed. "You're an example of the best of us. I'm sorry I've made you feel so badly. I just get so angry sometimes and say things I don't really mean."

"Maybe next time you'll think before you open your mouth," Fenris growled. "Heal him and then leave my home."

Gavin didn't have the energy to argue with them and lay back, closing his eyes, allowing the healer to work in silence. Anders was an idiot, but he wasn't a mean person. The distress in the healer's voice was enough to convince him of the sincerity of his words. Fenris wouldn't be so forgiving he thought wryly. He groaned in relief as he felt his ribs mending and the bruises and cuts on his face and body fading away.

Anders sagged in exhaustion for a moment when he finished before getting unsteadily to his feet. "The worst of the damage has been repaired. A day's bed rest should see you back to normal."

Gavin grabbed Anders' hand as he turned to leave, "You need to rest yourself. Stay here for a few hours and get your strength back." He saw Fenris about to protest and shook his head slightly.

Anders glanced between them and hesitated, "If you're sure-"

"There's another bedroom at the other end of the corridor," Fenris said reluctantly, nodding his head towards the door. He waited until Anders had left and then moved next to the bed. "I put some water on to heat up. I'll go get it and we'll get you cleaned up and into some clean clothes."

As the elf turned to go, Gavin reached out a hand to stop him. "Thank you, for everything," he said sincerely. "It means a lot to me."

"What are friends for?" Fenris asked, a rare smile curving his lips. "Now lie back and rest."

Gavin watched him go and then lay back and closed his eyes. He felt a cold nose push against his neck and opened his eyes again, smiling at Fang. "I'm okay boy, thanks to you." He chuckled as the dog barked and gave him a look that seemed to say 'of course'. "A man couldn't ask for better friends than you and Fenris. You're both special to me."

Fenris stood silently on the other side of the door, taking in what Hawke had said. There was something in the mage's voice that told him the words meant a whole lot more. He felt a warm feeling wash over him. He knew how much Hawke cared for his mabari. That the mage considered him just as important a part of his life as the dog was almost overwhelming. No one had ever valued him so highly. He made a promise to himself then and there to be worthy of such faith.

"Okay, let's get you clean and then I'll make us something to eat," he said aloud as he entered the room. There would be time later on to ponder his relationship with Hawke.