Chapter 16

Disclaimer for all chapters: I do not own Twilight Saga. SM owns it. I do not intend to copy any of her ideas for my own. I only own the plot to this story. And I do not intend to copy any other author either. There are many stories out there and I have not been able to read all of them.

This story contains mention of physical and emotional abuse, strong language, etc. Do not read if you are uncomfortable with such topics. Enjoy and please review.

Also, a special note to my readers: thank you for reading and reviewing. Sorry for taking so long to update. Between work and family stuff, I have been busier than I anticipated. I have great plans for this story and will finish it, so please keep reading. I will try to update more frequently.

Bella POV

The next morning, Carlisle and Esme showed up, along with Mr. Cheney and Chief Swan. I was surprised and a little disappointed that Edward didn't accompany them, but then I quickly dismissed that thought. Get a grip; he has a girlfriend, Bella, I told myself. After discussing Felix's "visit" last night at length, the Cullens, Chief Swan, Mr. Cheney, and even I recognized that I was no longer safe at the rehabilitation center. I didn't know what I was going to do, but then out-of-the-blue Carlisle and Esme invited me to move into their house. Mr. Cheney explained to me that it would strengthen my emancipation effort if I could demonstrate that I had a reliable place to stay and could take care of my needs.

I was shocked. No one had ever been that interested in my well-being. I was honest and told Carlisle and Esme that I wasn't sure. I didn't refuse their offer flat out, but they could tell that I was considering doing just that. They invited me over to the house on Friday for dinner and to spend the weekend with them. They said I could use the time to think about their offer and the weekend stay to decide. Carlisle and Esme left shortly thereafter, and Chief Swan and Mr. Cheney helped me file the restraining order paperwork against Felix.

The rest of the week went by quickly, and on Friday, Rosalie and Emmet came to pick me up the weekend. I wheeled myself out to the car, and then Rosalie picked me up and placed me in the backseat. I hadn't ridden in a car in months and Emmett's jeep was really nice. He was a fast driver, and we were at their house in no time. My jaw dropped when I saw their home. It was a mansion at least it seemed so to me. It was beautiful, 3-story and very modern, made with lots of glass and dark wood on the exterior, and it was very remote. We had come down a windy driveway that was at least one mile long, if not longer. The house had a wrap-around porch on the ground level floor and several windows had their own balconies on the upper floors.

I sat in the car while Rosalie got my wheelchair and bag out of the back. This time, Emmett lifted me out of the car and set me in my chair. I was nervous to have a man touch me like this but I hid my nervousness. I took some deep breathes and acted calm. When I was safely back in my chair, I noticed that it looked like they had recently paved a walkway from their gravel driveway to the front of the house. I looked ahead and also saw what looked like a new ramp from the driveway to the front porch. My eyes glistened with unshed tears at their thoughtfulness. I quickly wiped my eyes and rolled forward.

When I got to the front door, it opened and there was Alice smiling brightly at me from the other side. "Welcome Bella! I'm so excited that you are here," she exclaimed.

Alice's enthusiasm was infectious and I found my jitters falling away. When I entered the house, I was awed by the simplicity, elegance and beauty of its design and decor. This must be Esme's handiwork, I thought. I found it very easy to wheel around the living room and formal dining room. I loved looking out the great windows and seeing the woods surrounding us. Having been cooped-up in the rehabilitation center, I loved feeling like I was almost outside. Esme called out from what I assumed was the kitchen, "Welcome Bella! I'm in here."

I followed the sound of her voice, and Alice, Emmet and Rosalie followed me. "Here you go sweetie," she said, handing me a glass. Ever since Carlisle had mentioned that I needed to stay hydrated, Esme gave me a glass or cup with water in it every time she saw me. This didn't bother me because ever since I had woken from my coma, I felt thirsty a lot so I drank water whenever I got the chance. I took a sip and looked around the kitchen. It was huge and had an island in the middle. Esme must really like to cook I thought as I took in the large refrigerator and stove, and various pots and pans hanging from a pot rack above the island.

"We thought we'd order pizza tonight, Bella, how does that sound?" Esme asked. "Great," I replied. After hospital and rehabilitation center food, pizza sounded delicious.

Esme looked at me with an excited glint in her eye. She reminded me of Alice in that moment. "Bella, would you like to see your room?"

My room? What was Esme talking about I wondered.

"Sure," I replied.

Esme turned and headed out of the kitchen and walked down a hallway. I followed her. Now Jasper and Carlisle had joined us, but I hadn't seen Edward yet. I hadn't seen him since the night we met. I thought that was strange, but it had only been a week, and he has a girlfriend, I reminded myself. Esme led the way, with me behind her, and the rest of the family behind me.

Esme was chattering away and noted that I would be the only one sleeping on the ground floor; everyone else's rooms were upstairs, but I could use the pool anytime I wanted or needed to. "A pool?" I thought.

Esme got to the end of the hallway, and before she opened the door, and turned to look at me. "Bella, I had so much fun getting your room ready. It was a room that we weren't really using. I hope you like it." Then she turned back to the door and opened it.

I rolled myself in to the room and gasped. The room was huge. One of the four walls had floor to ceiling glass, and another had a sliding glass door that exited out onto the porch. There were wood shudders I could close on the lower half of the windows but they were open right now, and I could see nothing but woods. It was clear that while we were on the ground floor of the house, the basement was a story below me. No matter what Esme said, this had to be an addition. The ceiling was vaulted and had a ceiling fan. While I took in the queen size bed, the low dressers so I could reach, and antique vanity table with a mirror, what truly stunned me was the exercise area on the other side of the room. It was a replica of the workout room at the rehabilitation center with a mat and every machine and piece of equipment that I was using or would ever need to use. I sat there stunned.

Esme moved to stand next to me and said, "Bella, I hope you like it, and we hope after this weekend that you will decide to stay with us for as long as you want."

I couldn't take it. Holding myself barely together, I asked Carlisle and Esme, "Can I have a moment to myself please?" Esme was the first to reply, "Of course dear. Come on everyone, let's go." Esme was the last one out and pulled the door closed behind here. I was shaking from my emotions. It's too much. I can never repay them, I thought. I don't deserve this. Why would they want to do this for me? What do they want in return?

I don't know how long I sat there, with my eyes closed and breathing in and out trying to stop my panic attack. I couldn't face them until I was calm and knew what to say. Stop it, Bella, I told myself sternly. These people are being nice to you; Go out there and thank them! Rallying my strength, I opened my eyes and turned my chair around and headed to the door. Even the door was designed to be wheelchair accessible and I joined the others in the family room.

I guess they hadn't heard me approach because they were all sitting around the room quietly, but not talking.

"I'm sorry," I said aloud, but my voice was not as confident as I would have liked. I cleared my throat and repeated clearly, "I'm sorry."

"Whatever for, Bella?" Esme asked.

"I just needed a timeout," I said with a small smile. "Your generosity overwhelms me."

Alice stood up and walked over to me. "Silly Bella," Alice replied rubbing my back gently, "You don't have to apologize to us. We understand."

I looked around the room smiling and the first pair of golden eyes I met were Rosalie's who smirked back. I looked at Emmet and Jasper; they both grinned back, but Jasper seemed to be frustrated by something. Edward wasn't there I realized. Finally, I looked at Carlisle and Esme.

"Carlisle and Esme, thank you for inviting me into your home. I'm honored to be here. Thank you for everything you have done for me. I don't have the words to express my gratitude to all of you." It seemed that everyone started smiling brighter at my words.

After that, Alice showed me my "roll-in" closet, my private bathroom and the indoor pool. Before I knew it, the pizza had arrived. I didn't know where the Cullens were putting it all, but after two slices I was full. After dinner, I watched as the Cullen kids argued over what to watch on TV. Emmett wanted to watch a Bond movie; Rose and Alice wanted to watch "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition," and neither Jasper nor I cared. I just being enjoying being with them and observing them interact. I wasn't used to people interacting with such respect and love with one another. Even though they teased each other unmercilessly, their teasing was not mean or cruel. I felt a little pang in my heart from time-to-time when I thought back to my home life, but I quickly dismissed those negative thoughts and tried to focus on the positive. As I watched, I also wanted to ask Alice where Edward was but didn't know how without Alice wondering why I was asking. Eventually, Jasper yawned and said, "I think I'm ready for bed." This started a chain reaction and soon everyone was heading off to bed.

After saying goodnight to everyone, I headed into my bedroom, but I knew I wouldn't sleep. It wasn't just being in a new place. Compared to nightmares, staying awake was the better option. I quickly washed my face and brushed my teeth in "my" bathroom. But rather than changing into my pajamas, I stayed dressed. I went over to the closet and took out my winter coat and my fleece hat and gloves. I turned out my bedroom lights and sat there for awhile letting my eyes adjust to the darkness. Because of my wheelchair, the floor space in my room was open and clear, and since it was a full moon, it didn't take long before I could see pretty well in the darkness. I wheeled to the sliding glass door and opened it. I smiled to myself when I realized it made no noise whatsoever. I wheeled quickly out on the porch and closed the door behind me.

I hadn't been outside on my own in months. It was cold, but my upper body was quite warm, and it didn't matter about my legs and feet... I couldn't feel them after all. It was a perfect December night. There wasn't a cloud in the sky and the full moon shone brightly over the trees, Esme's garden, and the clearing on the other side of the house. I rolled over to the clearing side of the house to stargaze. I slipped out many nights after Phil passed out and lay on the roof for hours watching the stars. I felt a sense of peacefulness come over me. It was nice to be able to enjoy some of the things I had enjoyed before my "accident." I felt independent for the first time since I woke up from my coma, I realized. I watched the night sky for a long time. I don't know what caught my attention, but as I looked out into the clearing, I could have sworn I saw Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, Carlisle and Esme dart off into the woods. But I wasn't sure because they were moving so fast. In an instant, they were out of sight.

I wasn't scared; I was now extremely curious. I really wanted to know what the Cullens were exactly. I knew they wouldn't tell me their secret, and I would never ask, but they could trust me. If I figured it out, I would never tell anyone.

I moved my chair back on the porch so that I could see the clearing but I was hidden by the corner of the house. I waited. While I waited, I thought about all the things I knew about the Cullens. They were all cold to the touch, very cold actually. They all had golden eyes. Their skin was very pale and their lips red, and they were all incredibly graceful and beautiful to look at. Edward smelled delicious to me, which I knew rationally didn't make any sense. But, I had also been physically close to the rest of the Cullens due to lifting me in and out of my chair, and I knew they also smelled really good. They were strong. Both Alice and Rosalie could lift me in and out of my chair with no effort. Edward had held Felix in a choke hold easily and without breaking a sweat.

Lost in my thoughts, I didn't realize that they were back, this time with Edward. They were walking slowly to the house this time. Everyone was hand-in-hand with their mate except Edward. He was out in front of the group and one minute he was walking and the next, he leapt to the balcony above me. My jaw fell open. He must have jumped to the balcony outside of his room, I thought.

I could hear Alice and Jasper were talking. "I'm so full", Alice said. "Why did you let me drink that third deer, Jas?" she asked. "You seemed hungry, love," he replied, and then they leapt together to the balcony outside their room on the second floor. "I can't believe I threw up," Emmett cried. Rosalie slapped him on the back of the head, and I could hear Edward, Alice and Jasper laughing along with Esme and Carlisle. "That's because you shouldn't have eaten any of the pizza!" Rosalie cried. "Hey, keep it down everyone; we don't want to wake Bella," Esme said in a quiet voice.

And then it became eerily silent like they were all listening for something.

How could Edward, Alice and Jasper have heard Esme from so far away? I wondered. I sat there calmly. I wondered if they could hear me too. It seemed like they would be able to. How come no one found me on the porch? I felt a little like I was doing something wrong by spying on the Cullens, but my curiosity overrode my manners.

"She must be asleep", Alice called out. "I don't hear anything unusual." "Yes, I agree, Carlisle said in a normal tone as he and Esme walked to the front door. "Muffled heartbeat and steady breathing."

Sounding annoyed, I heard Edward say, "Just like she is when she is awake so really, we don't know." Uh-oh, I thought. The gig is up. I realized I needed to get back into my room as Esme and Carlisle reached the bottom of the front steps. They were the kind of parents that would check on me. As quietly as I could, I quickly wheeled my chair back to my sliding glass door and was in my room in a flash. I threw a quick "thanks" to the universe for the fact that my chair and door made no noise. I shut the door behind me, and quickly tossed my coat, hat a gloves on my bed by the foot of the bed so they weren't easily seen. Then, I turned my chair back so that I was again facing the sliding glass door looking out the window in the dark.

I heard my door open and waited. After a moment, I felt someone put their hand on my shoulder. Acting on reflex, I jumped. "Oh, you startled me", I said. "I'm sorry Bella," Esme said. "I was just checking on you. How come you are awake?"

Well, at least I wouldn't have to lie very much, I thought. "I have nightmares sometimes, Esme," I said. "The view is so beautiful tonight with the full moon I thought I would sit here for awhile until I felt sleepy."

"Do you want anything to eat or drink, sweetie?"

"No thank you."

"Is there anything I can do?"

"No. Thank you though. I'll be okay."

Esme and I hugged each other and then she turned and left my room. I wanted to give a big "whew" exhale, but everyone in the house would have heard me, and then I would have some explaining to do. Instead, I hugged my arms around my body to keep the feel of Esme's hug close to me. I closed my eyes and pretended Esme was my mother, and what a caring mom she was. I signed and loosened my arms. I truly appreciated feeling nurtured by Esme, but she wasn't my mom. Forgetting entirely about the mystery of the Cullens, I stayed in front of the window remembering Renee.

When I woke on Saturday, sunlight was pouring into my room. I looked at the clock on my nightstand, and groaned...I had slept until noon. Berating myself for what a terrible houseguest I was, I got up quickly and went to the bathroom and showered. My mind reviewed the events of last night and I decided to ponder the Cullen's and their secret later. I was excited thinking that they might have special powers, but when it came down to it, I already cared a great deal for them so when I figured out their secret, I didn't see it changing much for me.

Dressing in a comfortable pair of sweatpants and one of my favorite t-shirts, I wheeled into the kitchen. Alice, Rosalie, and Esme were there.

"Good morning, sunshine," Alice chimed.

"Good morning," I replied my voice far less chipper than hers. "Where is everyone else?" I asked.

"They're around," Esme replied. "Carlisle is at the hospital this morning; Edward is up in his room, and Jasper and Emmett are out in the garage, I think."

"Can I get you something to eat, dear?" Esme asked.

"Yes, I would love a turkey and cheese sandwich with some chips and a coke," I replied.

"Coming up," she said.

"What do you want to do today, Bella? Alice asked.

I shrugged my shoulders; I didn't know.

Rosalie surprised me by saying, "I think we should start your water therapy in the pool."

"What?" I said.

Rosalie quickly explained that Riley was going to start water rehabilitation techniques with me in the New Year. She also shared that Forks High recently instituted a community service requirement for graduation, and her plan was to help me with my water therapy. "That sounds like great fun!" Alice exclaimed.

As I sat there eating the sandwich Esme brought me, I was glad that at least one of the Cullen's was going to get something in return for helping me.

"Uh, Alice and Rosalie, I don't want to go in the pool," I said in a small voice.

Immediately concerned, Alice came to my side. "What's wrong, Bella?"

I looked at both of them, and then shifted uncomfortably in my chair. "I don't have the right swimsuit," I said. "But we have plenty of suits for you to wear, Bella."

"You didn't hear me, Alice," I replied calmly. "I don't have the right suit." I didn't know how else to say it. Alice looked at me confused.

Rosalie studied me with a shrewd expression on her face, and then came to my side and knelt down beside me. "Bella, is it because you don't want anyone to see your scars?" she asked me quietly.

I nodded "yes" while looking at Rosalie. She reached over and patted my hand with hers, and said looking up at Alice, "We'll figure something out, won't we?"

Alice got a faraway look in her eye for a second, and then smiled brightly and Rosalie and said, "Yes we will!" "Esme, can you hang with Bella for awhile? Rosalie and I have to go do something real quick."

"Of course. Is that okay with you Bella?" Esme replied.

"Yes," I said smiling at Esme. "What shall we do?"

"First, do you want any dessert?" Esme found some chocolate ice cream to tempt me and she and I chatted about the house and its decor. I complimented Esme on how beautiful and comfortable everything was, and she smiled happily, sharing that she loved interior design.

"We've got it, Bella," I heard Alice cry and she and Rosalie ran down the stairs and re-joined us. They held up what appeared to be a bathing suit from the turn of the century. I had only seen something like it in pictures.

"What is that?" I asked.

"Actually, it's a man's bathing costume from the 1920's", Rosalie replied. They were very modest back then so it has short sleeves and the leg length goes to mid calf."

"Where did you get it?"

"We made it," Alice replied. "We like to sew and had some swimsuit fabric from last summer leftover upstairs. I thought you would look nice in blue."

I shook my head in wonder and said, "You guys are amazing! Do you think it will fit?"

"Only one way to find out," Alice challenged.

We went into my bedroom and they helped me change into my new swimsuit. While unorthodox, I had to admit it fit me perfectly. The nylon/lycra material gave my suit a fitted look, and I loved the fact that it covered up the worst of my scars on my arms, body and legs. Beaming at them, I said, "Last one in is a rotten egg!"

Laughing, I chased after them in my chair as they skipped out of my room to go change. I went to the indoor pool and waited. I hadn't figured out this water therapy thing...I couldn't swim without use of my legs.

"Cannonball!" I heard someone shout just as Emmett sailed over my head. The splash was tremendous, and I was glad the water was heated since Emmett had soaked me. I was laughing when I heard Rosalie cry out, "Emmett, knock it off. If you keep that up, there will be no more water left in the pool!"

Jasper, Alice and Rosalie then walked in, and for what seemed to be the millionth time, I was struck by their physical beauty. The girls looked like runway models (even though Alice was too short) in their catalogue one pieces, and both Jasper and Emmett looked like Roman or Greek statues. They were wearing board shorts.

"Nice suit, Bella," Emmett called out. I laughed and said, "Thanks - I like it! Alice and Rosalie made it for me," I said looking down at their modern take of an antique style bathing suit with a smile.

Rosalie came up next to me, and asked, "Are you ready?"

"Not yet. Why don't you and Alice spend some time with Jasper and Emmett first, and I'll join you guys in a few minutes. I'd like to get into the pool myself."

Rosalie smiled at me. "Okay."

She dove gracefully into the pool and snuck up underwater behind Emmett who was busy trying to convince Jasper to splash me again. In a flash, she pulled him under by his legs. When he came up sputtering, I couldn't help but laugh. I watched as they played and then rolled myself over to the shallow end that had a seat and bar to get in and out of the pool. I locked my chair next to the bar. After locking my chair, I pulled myself up out of the chair using my chair's armrest and the pool bar. Once I was down on the pool edge, I scooted myself over to the step and lowered myself onto the step. The water temperature was perfect. As I sat, I stared at my legs and feet willing them to move. After a few minutes of nothing, I slid off the seat, holding onto the side of the pool and as my legs floated, I used my hands to move from the shallow end to the deeper end. My body was almost vertical in the deeper end, like I was standing, and it felt good to be in this position. I could feel the muscles in my back stretching out. As I held onto the edge of the pool, my back was to the Cullens, so I turned around to see what they were doing. Just as I turned my head, a huge wave crashed into me and knocked my head into the side of the pool. Stunned, I let go of edge and before I knew it I was sinking under.

"Bella, come on," I heard a distant voice saying. It was such a familiar voice. I relaxed when I heard it. Suddenly, I was choking and spitting up water. "That's it", the voice said. I could feel cold hands slowly turning me from my side back onto my back.

I opened my eyes and saw Edward leaning over me, his face filled with concern. When I saw him hovering over me, I grabbed his hand and whispered, "I'm okay." He seemed relieved to hear that and nodded slightly. He looked down at our clasped hands and then back up at me. As we looked at each other, I realized that he was wet.

"What happened?" I asked. I was drawing a blank.

Edward ground out, "We're not sure, but you got knocked unconscious and sunk to the bottom of the pool. You could have drowned, Bella, but we got to you in time."

"Edward got to you in time," Alice said lightly.

"Guess, I'm not ready for the deep end," I cracked, and Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and Jasper all smiled. Jasper patted Emmett's back and said, "You scared us little one."

"Bella, I'm so sorry," Rosalie said solemnly and sincerely.

I turned my head and looked at Rosalie, "I'm okay. It's not your fault." I reached out to grab her hand. "Rosalie, I'm fine. We'll just be more careful next time," I paused, "but not today, okay?" I said smiling softly.

A collective sigh of relief went through everyone, and before I could blink, Edward had picked me up in his arms bridal style. "Hey," I cried, "you don't have to carry me."

"Bella, until Carlisle can check you out, I'm taking you back to your room. Alice and Rosalie will help you change, and then we're going to bring you back to the family room where we can keep an eye on you in case you are not "fine" as you keep insisting that you are."

"I'm not helpless," I said in a tight voice. "I can change my own clothes and meet everyone in the family room."

"I know that Bella, but please don't be stubborn right now, okay?" Something about Edward's tone made me look at him. He really was worried. His face had an agonized expression on it.

"Hey," I said bringing my left hand up to his cheek. "Look at me."

We had reached my room already and he stopped walking to look down at me.

"Edward, I really am okay. The pool wall and I had a run-in and the wall won is all. It was an accident and thanks to you, I'm okay. In fact, I am better than okay. I don't even have a cut or bruise, which is a nice change, considering my track record."

He didn't smile at my attempt to lighten the situation. I didn't know what else to say to make him feel better, but it was vitally important to me that he did. I didn't realize that I was rubbing my thumb against his cheek as I spoke. It seemed like he stood holding me for an eternity while we stared at each other. His gaze was filled with such intensity it was like he was trying to figure out my thoughts. I held his gaze steadily and wanted to know the same thing. What was Edward thinking? I was the one to blink first, and it seemed to break the bubble we were in.

"Alice and Rosalie will be here in a moment. They went upstairs to change. I'm going to set you on your bed. Is that okay?" he asked in a resigned voice.

"Yes. Thank you."

He turned to leave my room. "Edward," I called out. "How did you end up being the one to rescue me? You weren't even in the pool with us."

Edward stood motionless for a second, and then he turned to face me. "I'm the Spectre, remember?" he said with a small grin on his face.

It was so nice to see a smile on his beautiful face that I decided not to push the issue. "Right," I said. "Thank you for your impeccable timing," I replied.

"My pleasure, Bella," he said as he was leaving my room.

************************************************************

Carlisle examined me and declared to everyone that I was, indeed, fine. His declaration seemed to calm everyone, and I was glad. I hated the drama that I had caused today. I was pretty sure Esme and Carlisle were going to revoke their offer for me to stay after my near drowning.

The rest of the afternoon passed quickly. I so wanted to ask Edward what he had been up to since I had seen him last, but ever since he rescued me in the pool, he was stayed up in his room. I was successful in getting Jasper and Emmett to take Rosalie and Alice out for the rest of the afternoon. I had pulled Jasper aside and told him that I didn't want them feeling guilty because of what happened, and I wanted him and Emmett to cheer them up. Jasper gave me a strange look when I said that to him.

"What?" I asked. "Nothing Bella. You just surprise me, that's all" he replied. "How are you feeling?" he asked. "I'm good" I replied. "That's not a feeling, Bella." What was Jasper getting at? I wondered. I decided to change subjects. "What are you, a shrink? Sure it is" I replied. I winked and then went to say goodbye to Rosalie and Alice.

After they left, I felt dejected. I didn't want to sit in my room all day or watch TV or wonder why Edward was being aloof, so I decided to read. I rolled into the living room and appraised the books on the bookshelves in that room. I saw a copy of Mary Shelly's Frankenstein. I had been meaning to read this book. I was half-way through when Esme called out, "Bella, where are you?

I had been so engrossed in the book that I hadn't even noticed that darkness was now falling. I found myself empathizing a great deal with the monster.

"I'm in the living room," I called out. "I've been reading."

"Are you hungry?" Esme said from the doorway.

"Not really. I think a bowl of cereal will probably be enough dinner for me tonight, if that is okay."

"Of course, honey."

"Esme, I'll come and fix it myself."

"It's no problem, sweetie."

"I know," I said as I rolled toward her. "It's just that it means a lot to me to do as much for myself as I can. It helps me feel like I'm not in the hospital anymore, you know?"

A look of understanding passed across Esme's features. "Of course, Bella. Follow me and I'll help you locate where the cereal is."

I had a nice dinner talking with just Esme and Carlisle. After the conversation I had overheard last night, I didn't figure that they would eat with me. The others hadn't returned yet, and Edward didn't join us. We talked about what my plans for school were. I didn't mince words.

"I'm not going back to Forks High. I'm going to get my GED instead. I figure I'll start studying for it in a few months. I want to focus on my rehabilitation right now." Carlisle and Esme didn't discourage my plans. I loved how they would listen to me like my opinion mattered. I was pretty sure I wouldn't ever get tired of that feeling. After I finished my cereal, I said good night to Esme and Carlisle, and excused myself to my room for the rest of the night, noting that I was tired.

I went into my room, pulled the shutters on the windows and kept reading. When I heard the others come home, I looked at the clock. I was surprised it was 10 p.m. already. I was burning through Frankenstein, but decided I didn't want to read anymore tonight. I decided I should spend some time figuring out whether I should stay with the Cullens or not after tonight. I went over to the small vanity and pulled out a piece of note paper and a pen to make a list.

Pros Cons

*Helps my emancipation case *Getting close to the Cullens

*Protected from Felix *Being alone

*Rehab facilities (room and pool)

*People that care about me

*Help and support

It was pretty obvious to me in reviewing my list that my only concern in staying with the Cullens was that they might wise up and ask me to leave one day. I was afraid to trust anyone. But, the pros clearly outweighed the cons. I made my decision.

I decided to make another list.

*Cold to the touch – don't need coats when outside in December

*Pale

*Extremely beautiful

*Very strong

*Very Fast

*Can super-jump

*Super hearing?

*Don't eat regular food/makes vomit

*Eat animals

*Sleep?

I tapped the pen against my mouth as I thought. What did these things have in common? Alice's comment from the night before kept circulating in my mind.

"Why did you let me drink that third deer, Jas?"

Drink… what is there to drink of an animal other than its blood? I wondered. Blood, what drinks blood? And then I remembered an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Spike was talking to Buffy and saying that "It's always about the blood." It was the episode when Buffy killed herself to save her sister Dawn. Buffy realized that she could give her blood to close the hole in the universe in order to save the world and her sister. Blood… drink the deer… animal blood… were the Cullen's vampires?

I sat up straight and looked at my list again. Yes, they could be if vampires existed. But are vampires real? I wondered. The idea that vampires are real was fantastic, but when I considered the facts, the improbable seemed probable. If I hadn't seen Edward, Alice and Jasper jump up to the second floor I might be thinking differently. But they didn't eat people. Carlisle was a doctor, and all the kids went to high school and Esme went to PTA meetings. They were surrounded by people all the time. And Alice said "deer" so they must eat animals instead. That's it, I thought, the Cullens must be abnormal vampires in some way. After all, they had invited me, a human, to live with them. Maybe they were allergic to humans? I smiled at that thought, and strangely, I felt reassured. For years, I knew that I was an outcast and didn't fit the societal mold. There seemed to be a comforting synchronicity if the Cullens were weirdos like me, just in the vampire world.

My mind was full of all the questions I wanted to ask them. "How old are you?" "How did you become a vampire?" "What was it like to live before cars and TV?" "How did you get rich?" "Why are you different?" But, I knew that these questions would have to wait or more likely, that I would never be able to ask them. I could never tell them that I knew their secret. I would have to wait until they told me directly. I needed to show them that they could trust me, just like, I realized, they were showing me I could trust them.

As I lay in bed later that night, I wondered if I could try sleeping. If the Cullens really were vampires, then I was pretty safe from anyone trying to get me. I closed my eyes and drifted into a dreamless sleep. I started awake with my heart pounding and the echo of Phil's laughter fading away. I sat up, wiped the sweat from my brow and reached over for my glass of water. I took a large gulp, and then another. Well, the nightmares weren't gone, but as I looked at the clock I realized that I had gotten 5 hours of sleep. I reached over and turned on the bedside lamp, picked up the copy of Frankenstein, and start reading.

I told Carlisle and Esme of my decision to stay first thing on Sunday morning Word spread rapidly, as if everyone had heard my conversation with Carlisle and Esme. I chuckled knowingly to myself at that thought. Before I knew it, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett were returning from the rehabilitation center with the rest of my belongings. As I unpacked my belongings in my new room, my new home, I felt hope for the first time in a very long time.