House Calls

Chapter 14

"Maybe it won't be so bad."

"Yeah."

"I mean, Naruto is Konoha's Golden Boy now and Sai is… normal-ish and Kakashi will be there… although maybe that's not really a point in your favor…"

Sakura scowled. She was sitting on her bed, facing Ino, the two of them dressed in pajamas and surrounded by bottles of nail polish, files, and nail clippers. "I forget, Pig. Are you trying to comfort me here or what?"

Ino scowled. "I'm trying but it isn't all that easy," she replied, turning Sakura's fingertip to one side and artfully painted on a coat of jade green polish. "Do you want me to come? I can bring Shika and Cho with me. I mean, they're not perfect, but they're at least kind of used to family stuff. I mean, it's horrible to say it out loud, but if you think about it, your boys were all basically raised by wolves."

Sakura sighed. "Yeah, no kidding, but that isn't what I'm worried about. My family is just… you know I love them, but they're… well, they're embarrassing. And they're civilians, all of them. I mean, you've got it easy. You family at least understands what you do. I just don't know how they'll act toward the boys…"

"Well, most things still go over Sai's head," Ino offered with a cringe, "And Naruto's been working on diplomacy stuff, so he should be able to look the other way rather than, you know, flying off the handle. If nothing else, Kakashi is at least good for that kind of thing, isn't he?"

Yes, he was. The thought was definitely comforting. Kakashi was not one to lose his cool, not even when faced with the most difficult people, so there was little doubt that he could take whatever her family's reaction was in stride. It was simply that, if the reaction was negative, she didn't want to ask him to do so.

In fact, Sai might go about blissfully clueless, Kakashi might be able to wave off every personal insult aimed at him like he did enemy kunai, and Naruto might be mature enough to grit his teeth and bear that sort of thing, but she wasn't entirely sure she would be able to manage any of that. It'd be a damn shame if she had to launch one of her own relatives through a wall. That might make family gatherings in the future awkward. But come to think of it, that might make family gatherings in the future nonexistent.

Now, which uncle had told her she had chubby thighs when she was thirteen? He seemed as logical a candidate as any if he opened his mouth.

"So, what are you going to wear?"

Sakura rolled her eyes, partly at Ino's question (typical Ino), but also at her own thoughts. Even she knew she wasn't giving her family the credit they deserved. She just wanted this anxiety she felt at the prospect of them meeting her boys to be justified in some rational way. "I have a sundress in my closet that should work."

"And what are you going to make the boys wear?"

"Tea towels if they want."

Ino tossed her head back and laughed. "What?" she asked incredulously.

"I'm not going to make them dress up for this," Sakura replied with a shrug. "It's not that big of a deal and if I bring that sort of stipulation into the game Kakashi's likely to go underground to hide and I can't very well dig up all of Konoha looking for him."

"Good point," the blond conceded. "So… you're just going to let them go as they are, huh?"

"If my family wants to meet them, they can meet them as they are."

Ino nodded. "Bold move," she said. With a flourish she finished Sakura's pinkie and smiled. "So, what color for your toe nails?"

"I don't know if want a color."

"Well, if you're going to get buried tomorrow, you might as well be rocking a fabulous pedicure. How about something neutral?"

Sakura hummed quietly in agreement as she held her hands out in front of her, her fingers spread wide and her wrists stiff to avoid marring the still-wet polish.

"Hey, Forehead?" Ino glanced over at her friend as she sorted through the various bottles of polish. "Don't worry so much. Your boys love and fear you so I'm sure they'll be on their best behavior. As for your family, it doesn't matter if they understand your job, because they love you and you don't do it just for them anyway. All of the boys certainly appreciate—ah-ha!"

Sakura smiled as Ino plucked a bottle of sparkling, champagne-colored polish and waved it teasingly in front of her. "Pig?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

The blond girl offered a grin in reply. "No problem. Now, give me your foot."

"Well?"

"I'm thinking."

"You realize that taking this long to come up with a compliment could be considered an insult, right?"

"Thank you. That will be noted. However, given your past reactions to things I've said, I feel I need to think this out carefully."

"Well, I can't argue with that kind of tactical thinking. Take your time."

Kakashi smiled faintly to himself as he listened from the kitchen table to Sai and Sakura, the latter of which was moving pale green and pink daifuku from a box on the counter to a decorative serving platter. "Sakura, where did you get those?" he asked as he turned a page.

She grinned. "Well, as you know I'm an excellent pastry chef."

"Akimichi clan?"

"Yep." Sakura placed two more cakes delicately on the plate. "Mom just told me to bring a dish; she didn't specify that it had to be made by me."

"They just happened to have them on hand?"

She snorted. "Have you ever been to the Akimichi house? I'm not quite sure how Chouji's mom does it, but the kitchen is always packed with this kind of stuff. I think I gain weight just walking in the door sometimes." Her attention turned then to Sai and she smiled at him. "Still working on it?"

The boy nodded. He was leaning against the counter with his arms crossed over his chest, surveying the girl in a serious and calculating manner. Helpfully she turned a pirouette, flashing Kakashi a grin as she did so. Her hair was down, held back by a thin, white ribbon worn like a headband, and her matching dress was pretty if plain.

"Kakashi-senpai?" Sai beckoned, looking to him for assistance.

Kakashi glanced up from his book again. He honestly couldn't tell what the boy was struggling with. Sakura looked nice. Like always. How Sai hadn't picked up on this pattern yet was astounding. Although, he supposed that if he had Sai's history with Sakura's fists, he'd be hesitant too. "Go for something simple," he advised. Well, there was no reason to give the boy the answers. If he could survive ANBU, he could figure this out.

Sai replied with a huff of frustration.

"Hey, guys!" Naruto called from the other room, his voice followed by the sound of the front door closing. "We should get—wow, Sakura, you look really nice."

"Thank you, Naruto," Sakura replied, looking to the blond who appeared in the doorway and then to Sai before smiling. "See? It's not hard."

Especially if Naruto could manage it without sticking his foot directly down his own throat.

"Working on compliments again?" the blond asked with a grin as he moved to stand behind Sakura, reaching around her for one of the desserts and promptly getting his hand slapped out of the way. "Ow! Sakura-chan!"

"They're for the party," she replied curtly.

Naruto grinned. "Well, I'm going to be at the party. Doesn't that count?"

"You're lucky if I let you have one even when we're there. You're the reason I even agreed to go to this thing."

"Aw c'mon!" he laughed, grabbing her by the shoulders. "It's going to be great. I bet your family is a lot of fun."

And Kakashi was willing to bet that Sakura knew what to expect better than Naruto, who had never met her family. In fact, he was very confident about that. Sakura wasn't (now that she was no longer living to impress anyone) given to dismissing someone because they were merely embarrassing (as proven by the inexplicable way Gai seemed to genuinely entertain her). He imagined that this applied to her family as well. If they were simply obnoxious, Sakura would, in all likelihood, just grin and bear it because both Naruto and Sai had spent the last several years unwittingly giving her hours of training in that field.

He suspected that her discomfort had a lot more to do with the fact that her family was civilian. After all, when discussing the party with her mother initially, she had sounded bored and reluctant, but she had only begun considering hiding out at his apartment pretending to nurse him back to health after her mother mentioned bringing him and the boys along.

"Sakura-chan?" Kakashi asked after she had sent Naruto and Sai out into the breezeway to take out the garbage. He got up from his seat to stand beside her at the counter.

Sakura was glowering at the door, her lips pursed as if she was trying to decide whether to yell or not. The boys sounded like they were sparring with the bins. Apparently deciding to save her breath, she looked to him and the scowl disappeared. "What's up?"

"You doing all right?"

He wasn't sure why he was asking. He wasn't even quite sure why he was even there. Sakura was a brilliant kunoichi, he'd give her that, but he wasn't exactly burn out yet and he liked to think he could give her a run for her money any day. Then again, she was the only reason he hadn't been caged up in the hospital in so long. He had reason enough to believe that that would promptly end if he bailed out on her, but that felt more like a perk of staying, not the reason for it.

Sakura smiled at the platter of daifuku. "I'm fine."

"Good."

"You?"

"Not too bad."

She glanced at him from the corner of her eye. "You can still run."

Seriously, how did she do that? "I'm aware of that."

"Weighing your choices?"

Kakashi glanced down at her and smiled. "You know me, Sakura. I'd never leave a comrade behind."

"Oh, that applies to this situation?"

Sure. He could roll with that. It was as good an excuse as any, really. "Doubly so, I think."

Sakura laughed and nodded as she moved two more cakes onto the platter. "Good to know. At any rate, I've been planning a few escape routes."

"Really?" he asked. "Pondering all of the most convenient windows?"

Sakura shook her head. "Nope. Mom might have better hearing than you. As soon as she hears a window even unlatch, she'll be all over my case. It's like she knows exactly which windows make what sound. It's almost scary. However, there is a staircase I can pretend to throw myself down in order to not really break my ankle."

"That's a bit pointless, you being a medic," Kakashi replied with a frown.

"I think that's where a lie about my chakra being drained comes in." She placed a lid carefully over the platter and then turned to face him, propping one hand on the counter and the other on her hip. "Last chance to escape, Hatake."

"That's beginning to sound like a challenge." He folded his arms and cocked his head to the side to look at her straight on. "You're not trying to get me to back-out are you? I do recall you mentioning that you were embarrassed to introduce me before."

Sakura raised an eyebrow at him in reply, her lips quirking at the corner in wry amusement. "Believe me. After seven years, you've more or less embarrass-proofed me," she replied and then, after a pause she added, "But if you start reading one of those filthy books in front of my family I'll be forced to break every one of your fingers in increasingly creative ways."

He grinned. "Come on now… they're your filthy books too."

"I'm serious, Kakashi-sensei."

"I'm offended, Sakura-chan. I know how to behave in front of others."

"You didn't even know how to behave in front of twelve-year-olds," she retorted as she picked the platter up. "C'mon, guys! We're going to be late!"

"Wow, never been to this part of Konoha before."

Sakura looked to Naruto and raised an eyebrow. She was carrying the dessert platter in front of her as Sai walked on her right with Naruto leading the pack and Kakashi trailing. "I guess you wouldn't," she said. "It's the civilian district."

"So, you grew up around here?" Naruto asked.

"Yep."

He laughed. "No wonder you were always so cranky when we were younger. It's a long way to the training fields from here."

"No kidding," she agreed with a giggle. "But it was all right. I liked running. I was cranky because my teammates were morons."

Naruto grinned at her and gently bumped his shoulder against hers, earning a nudge in return. "Kakashi-sensei!" he called over his shoulder, glancing back at the man that was trailing just behind them. "You ever been around here?"

The man looked up from his book (Sakura made a note to at least try to take it away from him before they got to the party) and then swept the street with a cursory glance. "I've passed through," he replied. "I can't say I've ever had the occasion to spend much time in the civilian districts."

Sakura didn't doubt it. Most ninja, especially those whose families were steeped in the job, didn't often frequent the civilian quarter because there wasn't really a need to do so. There were only a handful of stores and restaurants and then private residences—nothing of relevance to anyone who didn't live in the area.

"If your family members aren't ninja, what do they do?" Sai asked.

"They're merchants," Sakura explained with a shrug. "My great grandfather started the business and my uncles are in charge of it now. They move goods from Konoha to other cities, mostly Suna and Kusa, sometimes Lightning and Earth now Konoha's on good-ish terms with them."

"Sounds boring," Naruto noted.

She smiled. "It is boring. Just keep that in mind if one of my uncles wants to talk work with you."

"How many of your relatives will be there?" Kakashi wondered.

Sakura glanced back at him, frowning. "I'm not sure. Well, this is the Haruno clan so… three uncles and four aunts and they're all married except one, so that's thirteen there. Then my grandparents and probably all of my younger cousins…that's probably eighteen kids, twenty with my grandparents… so, thirty-three all together. Thirty-four counting my mom."

"Really?" Naruto was grinning from ear-to-ear. "Wow, you're lucky, Sakura. It must be fun to have such a big family."

"It can be," she replied with a smile.

They talked for a while and then as Naruto and Sai got into a discussion about the literal and figurative meanings of "family" (Naruto oh-so-eloquently explaining that their team was a family too because they just were), Sakura fell back to walk with Kakashi.

"Do you want me to carry that?" he asked, gesturing to the platter in her hands.

"Oh, I'm fine," she replied. "You just keep reading; get it out of your system before we get to the party."

His eye creased slight in a smile, but it faded quickly as he looked ahead to the boys and then back to her. "What are you so worked up about?"

"I'm not worked up."

"Right."

Sakura sighed and spared him a narrow look before looking away again. "My family… they're good people and I don't really think they'll have a problem with you or the boys.

"So, what's the problem?"

"I don't know," she murmured. At the same time, she was trying to suppress the slight thrill of pleasure that this conversation seemed to warrant more attention than Icha Icha, as his question had been punctuated by the quick clap of his book closing. "I told you that I never wanted these aspects of my life to meet. It's just making me nervous that they're about to. You must know how that feels. You were sort of doing the same thing before Naruto and I interfered."

Kakashi nodded slowly. "Except the hardest part for me was opening my apartment up to you. Introducing you to family would have been different."

"I know, but I still don't have much of an excuse to worry," Sakura said with a little laugh. "It isn't like I'm five and they can forbid me from ever playing with you guys again and even if they don't like you, they'll still be polite. It… I don't know. I'm just being silly I guess."

It was about five seconds into the following silence that Sakura began to wish that she could turn around and run away with any hope at all of actually getting away. But that wasn't going to happen (especially since she didn't have a prayer of outrunning Kakashi, even if she managed to get away from Naruto and Sai, the Kyuubi-powered and ROOT-trained jerks).

A heavy hand on her back stopped Sakura's thoughts in their tracks and she looked quickly up to Kakashi, whose gloved palm was pressed into the mid of her spine, warm and strong and reassuring. "Everything will be all right," he said firmly. His eye creased at her, this time more deeply than the last. "I promise."

Sakura marveled at the sense of relief that wash over her, at fact that those words had the same effect on her right then that they had when she was younger. After all, Kakashi might not have always kept his promises, but he certainly always tried.

Kakashi made it a point to keep step with Sakura. It wasn't that he thought she was going to turn and run… okay, so that's exactly what he thought, but that wasn't the only reason. Her anxiety was clear and he was her teammate. It was his job to back her up. After all, if anything a party had the advantage of being, at worst, awkward instead of life-threatening. (It was really just a perk that it might give him the chance to smack Naruto once or twice; an urge he had felt since the blond had talked Sakura into reconsidering her plans to skip out.)

But, a nagging little voice at the rear of his mind interjected, why was he there at all? It wasn't as if Sakura would be going in this alone if he wasn't there. She had Naruto and Sai.

Well, that answered that.

Naruto could be, even at his best, hard to take and easy to rile, no matter how well he was doing under Tsunade's tutelage, and Sai still had to be led by the hand through even the most basic social situations. Sure, he himself wasn't exactly the most gregarious of men and he did go out of his way to be alone sometimes, but he had probably the best shot at making a good impression on Sakura's family.

And wasn't that just a little sad for Sakura.

"All right, here we are."

Trees were dense through the neighborhood, casting all of the houses with shade. The yards weren't very big, but hedgerows and fences gave a sense of privacy and it didn't surprise Kakashi when Sakura shouldered opened a gate door to find that her front yard was thick with flowers. She smiled over her shoulder at him and the boys and then led the way up the stone walk to the front door, which Naruto ran ahead to open for her.

Kakashi ushered Sai ahead of him and then paused in the doorway. A staircase ran up the wall just to the right upon entering connecting to a second floor hallway that was open on both sides to the lower level. He frowned when he thought he saw a pair of shadows flickering just off to the left and out of sight and began to listen for movement as he scanned the rest of the house.

They had stepped right into what looked like the living room, which was opened to both the kitchen and dining room. The entire far wall was composed of a system of folding doors, all of them opened and allowing them to look out at the party without being noticed.

"I don't think I've ever seen so many people with pink hair," Naruto noted with a laugh as he peered outside where more than a few heads of varying shades of pink hair were visible.

Sakura laughed. "Where did you think I got—"

Kakashi didn't let her finish when he saw two pairs of hands hoist water balloons over the banister. With the casualness allotted by years of saving her from far more lethal things, he grabbed Sakura around the middle and hauled her backwards into him. Not a second later, the balloons splattered on the wood floor in her place. Sakura seemed entranced by the mess as Kakashi caught two pairs of brown eyes staring down at them from between the spindles, one head topped with hot pink hair and the other with pale blond.

Both sets went wide when Sakura snapped to reality. Her whole body went tense against Kakashi as she looked sharply upwards and promptly put on what Naruto had long ago dubbed her 'demon face'. "Eiji! Kichiro!" she barked. "I hope you planned on dying young!"

Rather than turning tail and taking off, they lingered, which surprised Kakashi. Then, either motivated by bald-faced stupidity or comfortable familiarity with the hollowness of most of Sakura's threats, one of them actually popped into full-view, leveraging his weight against the railing and lifting his feet off the floor. "Are those your teammates?" he asked, his eyes bright with excitement

Sakura snorted irritably. "Yes."

"What's with the mask?" the other one wondered, sounding skeptical at best.

"He's a ninja, stupid!"

"So are the other two! And I'm not stupid!"

"Someone better have a good explanation for this mess."

The two boys immediately fled at the voice; their footsteps pounding down the hallway and quickly becoming inaudible as a woman stepped inside from the party. She smiled warmly and Kakashi realized that the resemblance between her and Sakura, aside from her decidedly brown hair, was almost uncanny.

Immediately, he dropped his bracing arm from Sakura's waist.

"Eiji and Kichiro?" the woman asked.

Sakura smiled faintly. "Yeah. I can go find them and bring them down here to clean this up if you want."

"Oh, we both know that no one would ever see them again if you got hold of them." She smiled and stepped forward, embracing her daughter as much as the dessert platter between them would allow. "It's good to see you."

"You too, Mom," Sakura murmured. She turned away from her mother then, the woman's arm lingering around her shoulders as they both faced the boys. "Mom, these are my teammates. Uzumaki Naruto, Sai, and Hatake Kakashi. Guys, this is my mom, Haruno Akane."

Kakashi ducked his head in a quick bow (feeling some pride and remorse at not having to smack Naruto to get him to do the same). "Haruno-san, it's a pleasure to meet you."

The woman laughed and mirrored the short bow. "The pleasure is mine, Hatake-san. You three have been my daughter's most closely guarded secret for a long time now."

"Mom," Sakura scolded.

Akane smiled sweetly. "I like hearing you say that that way every once in a while," she noted as she reached out to lovingly stroking Sakura's hair. "It reminds me of what you were a little girl and it makes me feel young again. What did you bring?"

"Daifuku," Sakura replied.

"Homemade?"

"Yep."

"In your home?"

Sakura scowled and Kakashi thought that he might get to like her mother. "Do I lose points if not?"

Akane simply smiled again and then turned and strode off towards the kitchen. Wordlessly, Sakura followed.

"I'm a little disappointed."

Not a shocker, Sakura decided as she sat the tray of daifuku on the only available spot on the countertop, which was otherwise occupied by dozens of dishes, some covered and others not. "In what?"

Akane smiled at her daughter brightly. "You've never mentioned how handsome any of them were."

"I suppose I was too busy admiring them for their loyalty, talent, and skill."

"You're cranky," Akane noted with a glance over her shoulder. "You shouldn't have come if you didn't want to."

For a moment, Sakura found herself standing in awe of her mother. Yes, of course she was angry because the woman was downright infuriating, but the ease with which she said such a thing was really mind-boggling. They both knew that Sakura hadn't had a choice. That was just an understood.

"So, Hatake-san was your teacher?"

Sakura was actually grateful for the subject change. Otherwise, she might have imploded under the urge to argue. "Yes."

"He seems nice. Very polite."

Not exactly what she had been expecting. In fact, it was rather anti-climatic. Seven years of occasionally pondering what her mother would think of her ever-masked ex-sensei, present team leader, and friend and that was the woman's assessment? It wasn't even that accurate, because polite was not the word one typically used to describe Kakashi on most occasions.

"Naruto-san and Sai-san seem very nice too."

"They are."

Akane glanced back at her daughter, while arranging a plate of appetizers. "Was it so hard? To bring them here, I mean."

"You can't ask me that; we haven't even been here ten minutes," Sakura replied, leaning backwards into a counter and staring up at the ceiling. A brief wave of nostalgia washed over her. How many times had they been in this position over the years?

"Why do you worry so much? They're your teammates, they keep you safe. How could we not like them?"

Well, it didn't really matter if they did or not.

The thought surprised even Sakura. Hadn't it been their approval that she feared being denied? Wasn't it important that they liked her boys?

Nope.

Well, maybe what her mom thought was important, but everyone else? Not so much. The boys had been there for her for too long, saved her too many times, and were too big a part of her life for her to ever care what her family really thought of them.

In fact, the reality was quite the opposite.

What Kakashi, Naruto, and Sai thought of her family, how it would change their opinion of her, if they'd see her differently after this… those were the things that she realized mattered.

Sakura suddenly wanted to punch Kakashi. She might have never thought of it that way if he hadn't made such a big deal about telling her about his past. She might not have even given it this much thought. Sure she had always actively made it a point to keep the two very different aspects of her life on opposing sides of a wall, but if he hadn't put the thought there, this all might be, at worst, a nuisance.

Then again, she wasn't the only one who had built walls.

"Mom?"

"What's up, sweetie?"

"Why did you ask me to bring the boys?"

Akane looked to her again briefly. "I thought I was being polite, although you're acting a bit like I kicked your puppy. I've always told you to bring your teammates to these things."

Sakura shook her head. Now that she was on this particular path, it baited her curiosity, tantalizing her into pursuing. "No, you've hinted at it before and you've told me that I could bring some 'friends' if I wanted to, but you were specific this time. Why?"

"I'm not quite sure," her mother replied, but there was a playful lilt in her tone that told Sakura something was sure to follow. "I suppose I've come to realize how alienated I must make you feel. The fact that I don't understand your job doesn't mean that I shouldn't support you, especially since I hear your praises sung just about everywhere I go. I've been complimented many times on the sort of person my daughter turned out to be."

Mother and daughter shared a smile and a moment as a rift was acknowledged and a silent promise put in place to fill in that gap.

But the moment quickly disappeared as Akane added, "I must admit that I'm also curious about what you've been up to. I've always worried that you worked too hard and, when I stopped by the flower shop the other day, Yamanaka-san made it sound as if you your work was making more than a few house calls."

The meaningful lift of her mother's eyebrow and the leading tone of her voice made Sakura felt a stab of disappointment in herself. She was a ninja and this was her mother. She should have seen the trap coming.

1. So many wonderful reviews last chapter. Love, love, love you guys.

2. This chapter was a bit shorter than the others and even though I've spent all this time saying that I was going to make the chapters shorter, it doesn't feel right now. I guess I'm just hard to please.

3. I'm totally not going to mention this idea I've been having. I'm not going to say that it's a Kaka/Saku-centric idea heavily influenced by the anime Welcome to the NHK.

4. And while I'm not thinking about that, it's time for a rant! Of the PG-13 variety.

Okay, so I like to think of myself as a bit of a connoisseur when it comes to smut. I prefer foreplay and afteglow interactions to an actual description of the act which is just (spoiler alerts) insert Tab A into Slot B repeatedly and I prefer the idea of making love to kinky shit. I guess I'm just vanilla that way, but there's sex and then there's depravity. If that blows your hair back, fine. However, I take issue with this frightening trend in a lot of fanfiction and I feel the need to address it because I like to get on my soapbox every now and again. Scenario: just as things are getting a little heavy, Party A (usually female) tells party B (usually male) "No, stop". Party B proceeds to hush her like she's talking during a movie and continues. Party A, rather than kicking Party B in the joy department and dashing him to the floor, politely quiets down. Hm... how do I put my reaction to this eloquently? FUCK THAT. Oh, and while we're on the topic, if at any point Party B looks at Party A and says the words, "Are you sure? Because once this starts, I'm not stopping" the fic in question automatically loses about a hundred points. I've heard the "well, when she says 'no' she really means 'yes'" bullshit in the past and, just a hint, it was rape when Rhett dragged Scarlet to bed screaming and it's rape now. Is it this just me? If I'd tell my paramour "No, Stop" and he DIDN'T he could expect a swift knee to the nads. Blue balls would be the LEAST of his problems.

5. Ah, I always feel so much better when I get that out of my system. Oh and just a note for now and future: don't worry if your review ends up more like a rant. I find it kind of funny that I inspire you guys to rave like I do.

6. I went to the Renaissance Fair yesterday and a pirate stole my heart. Too bad I was only in love with his costume. He was kind of cute.

7. More songs! "You're All I Have" by Snow Patrol and "Stolen" by Dashboard Confessional are super sweet songs.

8. Oh, right... these are supposed to be chapter-related. Hm... okay, so the part where Sakura nearly gets pelted by water balloons. The best reason I have for her not hearing/seeing it coming and dodging on her own is best rooted in the fact that we tend to be way, WAY off-guard when we walk into our own homes. True, this isn't Sakura's house, but this is the house she grew up in. She'd have that sense of security there that might even outweigh the security she has at her own home because she could walk in and run face-first into an ANBU agent there.

9. Plus, it was just kind of fun to give Kakashi a 'rescue Sakura from the completely benign threat' moment.

10. Sakura's mom has brown hair. I base this off of an interesting screen capture someone took of a woman (although the gender was kind of ambiguous) with brown hair wearing the same circle that Sakura does on all of her clothes. Just Google Image "Sakura's Mom" and the screen capture should come up. I'm not responsible if porn pops up with it.

11. Sakura's family are merchants by trade. It was the best idea I had, so deal with it, yo.

12. Fluff... soon. I hate promising fluff "next chapter" because I'm not timelining any of this. It happens when it happens. So when I say "next chapter" there's a possibility of it actually being two or three chapters away, despite my intentions.

13. Last one. I don't mention a lot of specifics a good amount of the time, like food. That's because I always feel like I'm doing it wrong. I'm not even entirely comfortable with honorifics and I cringe every time I use one because I'm never sure if I'm right. To that end, I describe Sakura's house here and in response to any shrieks of "that doesn't sound Japanese", I reply "in your eye", because Japanese-inspired floor plans are hard to find and what few I could track down were highly modern, so just squint and use your imagination. Also, yes, they actually have a house. In the civilian quarter. Designating a civilian quarter made sense to me because, even though segregation no longer exists, there are still areas that are predominantly white and areas that are predominantly black (or Hispanic, or Asian, or what have you). It's not that you're racist or hate other cultures; people just tend to segregate themselves. Plus, if you were a civilian would you really want to live where shinobi might be constantly using your roof as a foot path? Probably not. Also, I'm pretty sure that in a Ninja Village, the shinobi:civilian ratio would be strongly in the shinobi's favor. Civilians could probably live in house-houses rather than apartments because there'd be more room for that in the Civvy district.

(As always, I love you guys and I thank you for reading and for all of the congrats passed around last chapter. I'm very excited. Now, review!)

(Oh, and now that my brain isn't just a few clumps of dust rolling around inside an empty bowl due to sleep deprivation, I feel I need to smooth a bit of balm over any chafe marks number 4 might have caused: If your story uses any of the mentioned conventions, if you LIKE any of the mentioned conventions, then good for you. An opinion is only an opinion after all and mine is certainly no more valid than any of yours. It's simply that this horrible chaotic neutral part of my brain suddenly takes over when I come to the A/Ns and I find it, usually in a corner somewhere after having stolen my laptop away from me, its fingers burning up the keys with fervor and passion, muttering to itself about dissenting opinions that can just suck on it. I usually just let her get away with it because it makes her easier to live with.)