The stage is dark, when suddenly, a drum roll starts! The stage is lit up, and the camera zooms in on each persons face, each of them possessing a goofy expression. Except for the more serious people. They simply look bemused. How do I know this? I'm your Narrator… God, of course!
Hakkyou: That's enough exposition out of you, God!
Grumble Grumble.
Hakkyou: So, we've got some questions. I… I just wanted to reassure you guys I'm not starting up a stupid side story again. I didn't enjoy that…
All: Neither did we.
Hakkyou nods approvingly
Hakkyou: Well, let's cut to the…errr, script? Certainly not the chase, so early into this…
Leon : You're somewhat different, you know (Squints at him)
Hakkyou: I've mellowed, but enough digression. Introducing, DARK!!!
Dark: I SAID CALL ME 'VENOM'!!!! (Hits Hakkyou around the head)
Hakkyou: Alright, alright… Well, since you got here… somehow
Dark: Let's not go into that.
All: Let's…not. Let's not. We forgot to say not. Wait, are we all speaking at the same time??
God: Yes you are!
Hakkyou: HEY!!! YOU STAY IN ITALICS!!!!
Grumblegrumblehobaggrumbleraginghomosexualgrumble.
Hakkyou: You're lucky you don't really exist. Take this, imagination!! But enough digression. Dark?
Dark: (Hits Hakkyou) Yes, you're right. Thanks. To EVERYONE: Soon…. Soon….
(All is my thing, thankyouverymuch.)
Dark: (A roll of the eyes) To Krystal: Do you want to multiplex?
Krystal: I'm not sure… It sounds like some sort of building blueprint…
Dark: (Raises his eyebrow) Allow me to explain, since Hakkyou is obviously too lazy to look it up.
Hakkyou: We here at Answers Corp. like to make our viewers feel more involved.
Wolf: Well rehearsed.
Hakkyou: It was improvised, but thanks nonetheless.
Dark: To Katt: Can I do you? Pleeeeaaaaase???
Katt: Who are you again? And are you legal?
Falco Hands off my prey!!
(Don't worry, you probably just perceive yourself as sick. You are what you pretend to be, and your thoughts create your world. Sorry, I'm a bit of a philosophical person. ^_^)
Dark: Chill, man! Chill! It's all in good fun!... If you get what I mean! Whoa! CHILL!!!
Leon : Roast him.
Dark: To EVERYONE: Who's ?
Hakkyou: (looks at all concerned)… Believe me, ignorance is bliss in this situation… Until such a later date that you may have to be notified. You could possibly be dead by then, but whatever.
Dark: Thanks for being honest, anyways… To Fox: U. G.A.Y
Fox: -_-' Those aren't my initials. They're not my initials at all. YES I KNOW I'M GAY YOU IDIOT!!! Am I supposed to be ashamed? (Glares threateningly. I mean, this guy probably works out and stuff. Seriously, he could mess you up for-pretend.)
Dark:… Err, just… Making sure…?... To EVERYONE: AHAAHAHAHAhaahhaa, I've seen another guy do it.
Hakkyou: (Crosses his arms) You mean sex? Were you taping it for him or something? Or did you accidentally walk into your college mate's dorm room while he was doing 'it' because you forgot he likes to be 'alone' on Sundays…?
Wolf: Did you post it on facebook and stuff? To humiliate him?
Leon : Was it Panther? You can always see that guy having sex. Even when he's just sitting in a chair.
Dark:… maybe I'll tell you guys later (Both: Laame) Whatever. To Falco: Are you a guy?
Falco: Even though I've been around Hakkyou, and beaten up/tortured by him, yeah, I am.
Dark: Huh. It's jus tthat eyeliner-
Falco: IT'S NOT EYELINER!!!!
All: O_O
Falco: It… It's not…
DarkI: Whoa…'kay… Um. To Me: Hey, how's it going.
DarkII: Did I got o law school with you?
DarkI: No, I think I remember seeing you in an elevator once.
DarkII: Really? I really thought…
DarkI: Actually…
Dark: To Bill: Where's Fay?
Bill: Still tied up… Shit! I forgot!! (Runs off in some obscure direction. Most likely a wall- but don't worry, he'll figure it out. I hope so. God bless him.)
Hakkyou: Wait. Did you just say- (Tries to talk, but is silenced.)
Dark: To E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E: ps3x-box
Hakkyou: (Crosses his arms and frowns.)
Wolf&Fox: (Look around, confused)
Girls: (Begin gossiping about the newest sandwich model. Yeah, I just went there.)
The Rest: (Aren't paying attention.)
All: We just don't get it.
Dark sighs.
Dark: To EEVVEERRYYOONNEE: well im going and yes i am a very sick man im not going down with out comeing on someones Q&A
WELL BUY ALL AHAHAHA IM GOING OUT WITH A BOOM (puts down a bomb and runaways and jumps in car) SEE YA AHAHAHAHA
Hakkyou: (Waves serenely) Byyyeeee! Have fun with that!
Shadow:… Aren't you gonna do something about that bomb.?
Hakkyou: Nah.
All:… But there's a timer… for t-20 seconds…
Hakkyou: (Looks at his knuckles)
The timer goes off. Nothing happens.
All: ?
Shadow: How'd you know it was a dud?
Hakkyou: Because, this is my own little world, and I magically made the bombs switch.
Far off, a small light is seen.
All: Nice.
Velk: Sup?
Hakkyou: nothing much, you?
Velk: Same, just that I wanted to tell you that people are stealing my good name AGAIN. So, you know.
Hakkyou: We don't blame you.
Velk: Cool. I'm just gonna go chill in the crowd
Shadow: Later
Hakkyou waves
Hakkyou: And now we have…………… No, not ellipses, but HakkyouXXX!
(This entire review is fictional. I myself put this here, just to clear up any discretion)
HakkyouXXX: To Hakkyou: HAHAAHA!! IT IS I, YOUR EVIL TWIN WHO LIKES TO SHOUT A LOT !!
Hakkyou: Oh no.
E Hakkyou : YES!! I AM HERE TO TAKE OVER YOUR Q&A FIC!! PREPARE YOURSELF!
(Evil Hakkyou pulls out a gun and shoots Hakkyou. Hakkyou falls as if in slow motion, creating a graceful arc to the floor, where he fell, and lie dead)
All: Oh noez!!
Evil Hakkyou: MWAHAHAHAHA! NO THIS FIC BELONGS TO- BWA!!
Hakkyou: YOU FORGOT I HAD ADDITIONAL PILONS, BEOTCH!
(Hakkyou sends in additional nuclear pylons, and for good measure, Erases E. H.)
Hakkyou: Ha. This is why I don't send myself questions.
Shadow: The first person to count how many times "Hakkyou" Is said in there wins a chance to be co-host!
Krystal: I'm the booth babe!~
Whoopee Goldberg: Daaamn, girl!
Hakkyou: Where's Cthulu?
Whoopee Goldberg: He busy eatin some fish, yo.
Hakkyou: Word.
All:…?!
Hakkyou: And now we have Fox Fighter 220!.... Does he look different, or is it just me…
Wolf: Get some glasses.
Hakkyou: -_-
FF220(?):ok to clear one thing up, I'm Straight... but I'm not a homophobe... and just to prove I'm not all against gayness I'll have a gay moment today, just wait a few questions
Hakkyou: We're all so proud of you, here at Hakkyou Corp.
Fox: The name changed?
Hakkyou: Yeppers.
FF220(?): To the three girls: howd you like our 10:00 meeting? heh heh...
Girls: We loved your 10:00 meeting, yout studly man muffin! Let's have another one! But earlier!!
FF220(?): To Hakkyou: your gay... I HATE YOUR DAMN REVEIWS FOR MY STORY! cept the most recent one 's alright...
Hakyou: (Smirks) my gay what? And yeah, they'll get better.
FF220(?): To Krystal: how you doin' sexy?
Krystal: Depends how horny you are, Studly Guy Man. Except replace Guy with Woman attracting.
FF220(?): To Hakkyou: if you don't notice I'm showing my complete straightness before the gay moment... keep in mind I AM STRAIGHT!
Hakkyou: I commend you on your straightery.
FF220(?):To Wolf: your gay, and your with Fox... you do know he's your cousin right?
Wolf: (Also smirks) My gay what? And my what with Fox? And, like Hakkyou said, this is its own little universe. A completely different world from your own, where whimsy is solid determination and fiction is the same side of the coin as fact. Yes. Welcome to Wonderland, Alice !
FF220(?)To Hakkyou: YOU'VE GOT INCEST GAYS ON YOUR SHOW! incest is one thing I can not tolerate!
Hakkyou: Please refer to the above novel! (In a cheery voice!)
ok here's the damned gay moment (Oho? God doesn't approve)
*walks up to Hakkyou and kisses him on the lips*
*turns to everyone* THAT NEVER HAPPENED! I AM S-T-R-A-I-G-H-T STRAIGHT AS A STRAIGHT PERSON CAN BE! that was just to prove I'm not a homophobe... and if I get dissed for that I'm gonna punch someone in the face!
Hakkyou: (Is just standing there)
FF220(?): To Hakkyou: sorry about you being the subject of the gay moment... but kissing one of them (referring to Wolf and Fox) wouldn't have proved my point...
Hakkyou: (Is still just standing there.)
Leon : Dude… He's actually speechless.
FF220(?):To Krystal: I have to get rid of the gayness... let's go to the room back there...
Krystal: I'm nto sosure anymore. Your reputation is falling all around you!
FF220(?): To Fox & Wolf & Hakkyou: stay the f.u.c.k. away from me...
Hakkyou: (Is still just standing there)
Fox: Why would we cheat on each other?
Wolf: Also, I don't think you're of age for anything I'd want to do…
FF220(?): To Everyone: that made me sick I gotta go...
All: We can relate (Except for Hakkyou, as he is still just standing there.)
FF220(?): To Everyone: and keep in mind none of this was real... I'm not even real I'm a figment of you effing imagination so leave me the f.u.c.k. alone...
P.S. I wasn't gonna submit this revweiw but what tah heck... I might as well... I AM NOT GAY! I AM STRAIGHT DAMN IT STRAIGHT! I'm going to go cut myself now... *a knife appears in hand* see ya later...
All: Yeah… bye…
Suddenly, a gun shot rings through the air, and things get even more quiet than when Hakkyou and FF kissed. You know? Like, from a couple of seconds ago? BUT HERE'S THE TWIST!!!
FF220(?): W---wha..? (He holds his chest, then he removes a hand covered in blood. He falls down and begins to grovel around on the floor, getting more blood on the ground and slowly bleeding out. Everyone stares as FF220 lowers his gun, his eyes cold.)
Wolf: I think… I think my mind just punched itself…
Leon :… Waaaaiiiit…. (Looks at a smirking Hakkyou)
Hakkyou: Of course I knew about this. I created it. You could call this story a symphony, and I could, metaphorically, be it's composer. (Giggle giggle. But not in a girly way, just a small laugh.)
FF220: Sorry, I got drunk and my friend thought it would be funny to put that there.
Hakkyou: No problem. Although I must say.. He's a good kisser.
FF220: Okay. I'm outta here.
Hakkyou: (Smirkity smirk smirk) See you, Heterosexual Man Guy Whom Attracts All of the Ladies With his Incendiary Nipples. (Giggle)
FF220: (Rolls his eyes and walks away)
Me: See? I told this would go well.
You: Yeah, whatever.
Hakkyou: Hey. Get out of here, you're breaking the fourth wall.
Me: Damn, I hate those fines…
Hakkyou: That's why I'm your proxy
I disappear. WHWVW:H
Shadow: You think kind of weird.
Hakkyou: Just in a more tangled up sort of complex way. Next up we have … Fox Fighter220, but since we've covered his review, I'd say we can skip this.
Shadow: Instead, we bring you VenomDark!
Dark: Back again.
Hakkyou: Did you ever really leave?
Dark: No. That was all kind of funny. To Hakkyouto: haha u a funny guy and ur still calling me venom and if u don't im going on ur **
Hakkyou: I'll just let you put that as your next review.
to everyone: im kiding just kiding
Shadow: You don't joke about that guy… Seriously.
well buy again HAHA ur still funny than other Q&A m8
All: Bye, Venom.
Hakkyou: (Sigh)
Suddenly, an explosion of pixie dust and imploding fairies appeared, making a wormhole through the power of 1up mushroom and paraplegic elephants. Out of this wormhole came a dragon dressed in what I suppose a monk would wear. His scales were, and are, to this day, shiny silver and he had, and has, to the day, star dust off of him. Or maybe cocaine. Whichever he snorted, but I digress. Oh. Right. His monk-y clothes were green. Thought you ought to know.
StarlightDragon: greetings maby shadow told you about me or not but allow me to introduce myself. i am the the dragon of the stars starlightdragon
Hakkyou: (Hakkoyu stares at him as if he had been reading a book when a unicorn that had no doubt just arrived from the Special Olympics had broke through his ceiling and began rummaging through his waste bin, no doubt looking for cocaine. Or stardust. What? I don't have any; ask that shiny thing over there.)
STD: To Wolf: you know you have your own theme song? and if you do why does it sound sad?
Wolf: yeah, I'm the one who hummed it up and decided: "Hey, Shigeru Miyamoto, Katsuya Eguchi, Yoichi Yamada, Takaya Imamura! I just thought this song up, we should totally make it in the game!" "Ooh, this song very kawaii desu. We make good version" And it's not. It's supposed to sound determined, focused, taunting, and maybe a tad bit melancholy. Oh, did I mention wrathful? Assault just kind of botched it…
Leon : Big time.
STD: to whoever it applies to: why does corneria suck so much i mean the army is just plain pathetic with the exeption of the bulldog squad.
WHOMever it applies to:
-Fox: Yeah, it does suck. Why d'you think we're there?
-Falco: Only cuz they need us so bad.
-Bill: Hey… We're good at what we do… We just like Starfox's company…
-Krystal: From what I've learned, they're pretty useless on their own.
-Katt: I'm a mercenary; I don't care.
-Slippy: Well, we've made lots of advancements in technology, but for some reason, Corneria is never prepared for war…
-Wolf; Why do you think I chose Andross' side?... Aside from the money…
-Hakkyou: Yeah. I hate saving them all of the time. It gets annoying. Oh, when I say this, I mean I've played the games before.
STD: Farewell, and tell Shadow that I was here, knave.
Hakkyou:.. You don't mean me, right?
STD: Until next time, short one! My ride is here. (Starlightdragon then jumps on the unicorn Hakkyou had recently imagined. No doubt the image was so powerful, he imagined it into existence.)
Hakkyou: Later, Sexually Transmitted Disease!
Fox: Hey, I just noticed that!
Panther: Panther laughs at the words his initials make. Ha ha ha.
Lon: Were have you been?
Panther: Leon , where am I usually? Having sex in some obscure place, with some obscure person., and sometimes the obscure object.
Wolf: What'd you expect?
Leon : I dunno. I just don't know.
Hakkyou: Well, I think that covers all of the questions.. If I missed anyone, just rage at me. Until next time! Oh, and don't take any of that offensively, STD. Really, you just gave me the ammunition there. I'm a cynic- sue me.
This is God, signing off.
…lulbai.
Well, that wasn't too bad, now was it? Once again, if I forgot anyone's reviews, shout at me. I might- JUST MIGHT- hear you. And a final time, LSD trip Sexually Transmitted Disease, if you had read the previous chapters, you could have anticipated me ripping into you like that. If people take offense to what I say, then go die. No. Really. Take a knife and kill yourself. I don't want you ranting at me because I INDIRECTLY insulted you. And Foxfighter, I told you it'd work out. Hang in there. Hang in there.