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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over 'cause you're gone

[bridge]
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself, and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

What doesn't kill you - Kelly Clarkson

Chapter 14: Under Control

Back to Vasillisa POV

I look at three guys who call themselves, my pack members and friends. I look at the guy who's name is Isaac, he's cute. I smile and say:"So tell me, am I different opposite from how I was wih you guys?" Isaac noddes and says:"Yeah, absolutely." I hear the funny guy, who's name is Stiles say:"First of all, you never wore such clothes. You always use alot of sarcasm, and you're dead funny. You're always positive and never full of yourself." I get up from the chair and say:"What? I'm full of myself?" Stiles noddes and swallows, I look annoyed and say:"Shut the hell up! Don't talk to me like that, or I'll rip you to shreds." Adrian grabs my wrist and says:"Lisa, they're your friends. You don't talk like that to friends, remember?"

I sit down and say:"Argh, you're so annoying Adrian." Adrian ignores me and says to Stiles:"Continue, and just ignore her." I scoff and Stiles says:"And she never shouts at her friends or threatens them." I growl at Stiles, he jumps from his chair. I laugh and say:"Men, you're such a scaredy cat." Scott looks annoyed and says:"Lisa." I lift an eyebrow and say:"What?" Scott sighs and says to Adrian:"Has she always been like this, these past days?" Adrian shakes his head and says:"Yes and No." Isaac looks confused and says:"What do you mean?" I stand up from the chair and get inside the bathroom.

I hear them talk, Adrian says:"She has been like this since we met her for the first time a week ago. She was acting all weird, But when she hears something that has something to do about Derek. She changes back into her normal self, and when she's her normal self. She's not allowed to say His name, or else she changes back into a real Lone wolf. Because Lisa is a half Lone wolf now. She get's some deja vu's sometimes, and starts sweating alot. I've been searching for answers fro days now." Isaac sighs and says:"So that's how it is, Iff we make her talk about Derek. She'll change back, but will something bad happen to her?"

I sigh and go with my hand through my hair. I hear Adrian say:"Yes, but I don't know what will happen. The problem is that iff she thinks too much about the things that hurt her. She might totally close turn off her emotions." Stiles sighs and I hear his heart beat fast. He sighs again and says:"So what are we supposed to do?" I change my clothes and get inside the room. I'm wearing black short shorts and a dark red tanktop. I lay down on the bed and say:"You're supposed to mind your own bussines." Stiles sighs and Isaac says:"Lisa, we can help you. You know we're always here for you."

I grin and say:"Oh really?" Scott, Stiles and Isaac nod. I laugh and say:"I don't give a crap about any of you, not even about Adrian. The only thing I care about, Is myself." I see Adrian and the others look sad, Seriously? Why are they looking sad? Did someone die? I feel a sharp pain go through my eyes, I can't seem to see a thing. I know this feeling, I'm going to get a Flashback. I feel Adrian's hand on my shoulder, I start breathing heavy and say:"I can't see a thing!" Adrian says:"Just stay calm Lisa, think about the one thing you don't want to lose." I shake my head and say:"I've already lost everything I want. I have nothing left to lose."

Adrian sighs and says:"Just close your eyes and concentrate on your anchor." I breath out and close my eyes. I immediattely get a flashback, Me and My mate. Kissing, laughing, having fun. I see him smile and look at me, and say:"I love you Vasillisa." Tears fall down my cheek, I hear myself say:"I love you too Derek." I open my eyes and put my hand on my head. I feel my claws dig inside the bed, and I growl as loud as I can. Adrian shouts:"LISA CALM DOWN!" My heart beats fast, and I growl again. I taste something like iron on my lips. I hear Stiles panicked voice say:"She's having a nosebleed!"

Isaac shouts:"VASILLISA!" I open my eyes, and I can see again. I look at my hands and see that my claws have dissapeared. Adrian wippes the blood from my nose. I look at him and feel my lip tremble, Adrian looks sad and says:"Lisa..." I shake my head and say:"I don't want to think about it, It hurts too much. I can't, I just can't." I start crying loud, and feel two arms hug me tight. I calm down immediatelly, I hear Derek's heartbeat. I look up and see Isaac hugging me, I say with a shaky voice:"De..Der..Derek's here." Scott looks sad and Stiles says:"Lisa, he's not here. Derek's gone."

I wipe my tears and shout:"I KNOW THAT! NO NEED TO SAY IT AGAIN!" Stiles looks shocked and Adrian says:"I told you to shut up, don't say his name. Just call him anything but his name." Isaac grabs my wrist and says:"Lisa, come with me for a second." I nod and leave the room, we walk through the hallway. Isaac stops walking and hugs me, I look surprised and say:"Isaac?" His shoulders are shaking, he's crying but for what? He looks at me and I see his tears fall down his cheek. I feel my heart breaking for him, little by little I start remembering everything. I get a deja vu, Me and Derek, The pack living liek a real family. The things we went through, The fun we had. And the death of.. I can't even say his name, I'm afraid to breakdown. I then realize that I'm hugging Isaac really tight.

He looks at me and says:"Lisa?" I nod and say:"It's me Lill bro." Tears fall down my cheek, He smiles and wipe a tear from his cheek. He puts his hand on my cheek and says:"You're back Lisa." I smile and say while wipping my tears:"Yes, Sorry for hurting you. It's just so hard for me, I only return to my old self once a day. Because it hurts too much, the thoughts of him hurt too much." I feel tears fall down my cheek again, Isaac wipes my tears with his hand and says:"We're all here for you, Even that guy Adrian seems to care alot about you. Even though I don't know him." I smile and say:"Yeah, sorry for forgetting about you guys. I really missed you so much." Isaac smiles and says:"And what's up with you and him? Is he your new mate?"

I shake my head and say:"Are you serious? We're just friends." Isaac lifts an eyebrow and says:"So you'll also Kiss Scott, Stiles, me or the other guys from the pack?" I laugh and say:"Well that would be incest. You're all practically my little brothers." Isaac chuckles and says:"Then tell me, why you where kissing that guy?" I sigh and say:"Even when I'm not my true self, I can still feel the things I do. Like when I scolded Stiles, It broke my heart. But I don't know what I'm doing then. And plus.." Isaac noddes and says:"Continue." I sigh and say:"He told me that he's in love with me, and that iff something ever happened to me. He will protect me with his life. That made me think of..."

Isaac doesn't let me finish my sentence, he smiles weakily and says:"Of Derek, It made you think what he always said. Right?" I nod and stare down at my hands, I say:"It looked as iff I was talking to him, so without realizing it. I kissed him, but he broke our kiss and told me that I have a mate. And don't I'm not the type of girl, who cheats on her mate, boyfriend or whatever." Isaac sighs and says:"Iff only I could take your pain and suffering away Lisa." I hug him and give him a big kiss on his cheek. Isaac smiles and I say:"You know I love you Lill bro." He noddes and says:"Love you too sis." I smile and say:"Let's go back to the others.

After a few hours...

I'm sitting in the back seat of Adrian's car. Isaac is sleeping with his head on my lap. The rest of Adrian's pack are also on their way back. Adrian smiles and says while driving:"So we're going back to Beacon Hills. Is it a boring town?" I chuckle and say:"Iff only it was boring." I sigh and stroke Isaac's hair and say:"I have memories there, I don't want to remember. Just thinking about them hurts so much." I feel a tear fall down my cheek, Adrian sighs and says:"I'll do anything to make you feel better Lisa." I nod and say:"Thank you Adrian." I look out of the window, and Adrian drives a bit faster. I lay my head against the window, and Close my eyes. I immediately get a flashback.

Flashback

I walk around the loft while singing 'I love it by Icona Pop'. I feel two hands on my waist, I smile and turn around. Derek smiles and says:"Goodmorning Vasillisa." I put my arms around his neck and Kiss him. He kisses me back, This feels good. I break our kiss and say:"I love you Derek." He looks at me with a soft look on his face, and says:"I love you too." I hug him and lay my head against his chest. I hear his heart beat, I smile and say:"I always calm down when I hear your heart beat." Derek chuckles and says:"Me too, When I get angry because of something. I just concentrate on listening to your heartbeat." He puts his hand on my cheek, I look up at him. Derek smiles and says:"I immediately calm down, when I hear your heart beat." I sigh and say:"I can keep saying this the rest of my life, I love you so much Derek." He leans towards me and says, before our lips connect:"I love you more Vasillisa."

End Of The Flashback

I feel tears fall down my cheek, I feel my heart breaking into million pieces. I will never see him again, nor will I ever hear him tell me that he loves me. I put my hand on my mouth, I don't want Adrian or Isaac to hear me cry. I feel a hand on my cheek, I look down and see Isaac looking sad. He sits straight and hugs me, that hug made me break down. I start crying and grab Isaac's shirt tigthly. I've been doing my best to stop myself from breaking down. But after this last flashback, I feel as iff I've lost myself completely. I hear Isaac whisper:"Everything will be allright Lisa, I'm here with you." Even Isaac's sweet words won't stop me from crying. I've lost the only person I love more then my own family. My mate, Soulmate, and the love of my life.

After what seemed to be hours of crying, I fell asleep. I open my eyes and sigh, I wipe my tears away with my sleeves. I look at Isaac and say:"Sorry for crying like a freak." He shakes his head and says:"No problem, Did you sleep well?" I nod and say:"Yeah, it's been awhile since I slept so good." He smiles and I see a sign with 'Welcome To Beacon Hills'. I chuckle and say:"Well, Welcome to Beacon Hills." Adrian chuckles and parks the car on the side of the road. I lift an eyebrow and say:"Why do you stop here? We still haven't arrived at the right place." Adrian smiles and leans towards me, He gives me a kiss on my forehead and says:"I can't stand seeing you cry Lisa, Iff I wasn't driving I would have tried to calm you down."

I smile and say:"You're such a sweetheart." Adrian chuckles and says:"No one has ever called me a sweetheart." I lift an eyebrow and say:"What do you expect me to call you?" I see Isaac speaking to Allison on his cellphone. Adrian leans more towards me, we're dangerously close now. He smirks and says:"Sexy, Hot,Beautiful. Things you totally are." I shake my head and say:"Don't flirt with me Adrian." I see Isaac push Adrian's face away from me, I grin and Isaac says:"Stop doing that idiot." Adrian rolles his eyes and sits back on his seat. He starts the car and drives further. While we're driving, I keep getting a weird feeling. Isaac looks at me and says:"What's wrong? You're frowning."

I shake my head and say:"I just have a weird feeling, since we started driving inside Beacon Hills." Isaac smiles and says:"Maybe because you've missed this town." I grin and say:"Yeah maybe that's it." I look outside the window and feel my heart beat fast. Isaac looks at me, with a worried look on his face. I put my hand on my heart and say:"My heart is beating fast, I'm not excited nor afraid and it 's starting to creep me out." Isaac looks sad and says:"Maybe because this place has memories you want to forget." I shake my head and say:"No, it's something else." I look at Adrian and say:"Turn next street left." Isaac puts his hand on my shoulder and says:"Lisa, You're going to Derek's loft. Why?"

I go with my hand through my hair and say:"Because my heart keeps beating fast. And I need to know why, I'm not sure iff it has something to do with His Loft." After a few minutes, we arrive at Derek's loft. I get out of the car immediately, I grab my leather jacket out of the car and wear it. I hear Isaac and Adrian get out of the car. I sigh and say:"This weird feeling is getting worse with every second that passes by. And especially now that I'm at this place." Isaac sighs and Adrian says:"Lisa, Maybe it's just the memories like Isaac said." Isaac noddes and I say:"No, I'm going inside."

I run up the stairs as fast as I can. Once I arrive in front of Derek's house, I feel as iff my heart's about to jump out of my chest. I open Derek's lofts door, with the spare key he gave me. I enter the house and hear something I've been longing to hear for days now. I Hear Derek's heartbeat, I run towards the livingroom. I hear his heartbeat very close by, I stop walking when I hear someone gasp and Someone else say:"Vasillisa?" My whole world stopped, Derek just said my name. This can't be true, he's dead. Even though I don't want to say it, I turn around and see Derek standing in front of me.

He's shirtless, Tears fall down my cheek. I gasp and say with a shaky voice:"Derek? Is that really you?" He noddes and says:"Vasillisa? I thought you were dead." I shake my head and run towards him. I hug him tight and cry, I feel him hugging me back. I look at him and say, while putting my hand on his cheek:"You're alive.. I...I can't believe it. You're alive." Derek noddes and I'm about to kiss him, but stop when I hear a women's voice say:"Derek? Oh..Sorry, I didn't know you had visitors." I turn around and see a women, I know her from somewhere. She's only wearing Derek's shirt, I feel my heart break into a billion pieces.

I let go of Derek and take a step back. I look at him and say with a shaky voice:"You immediately took someone else in my place. I've mourned you, I became the person I hate the most. I've cried for days, I couldn't even remember my friends. I left..." I breath out and say:"I didn't think about any other guy, but you Derek. But you replaced me the instant you heard I was dead." Derek looks at me and says:"It's not like that, Jennifer found me half dead. She helped me, and saved me. And she's not a replacement, she's the women I love now." I feel as iff I can't breath anymore, this hurts more then when I thought he was dead.. I feel myself shift, OH NO! It's happening again... I don't care anymore, I just don't want to feel anymore pain.

I close my eyes and turn off my emotions. I open my eyes and say:"Live the way you want Derek. I don't care." He looks shocked at me, I know why. Because my red alpha eyes, have completely been replaced by Dark black eyes with blue stripes. I turn around and leave his loft with a grin on my face. I don't feel a thing, no sadness, no emotions. I've become a true Lone Wolf. I see Isaac and Adrian looking shocked at me. I grin and say:"Let's go home guys." I get inside the driver's seat and hear the others enter the car. I grin and drive away, leaving all the pain.. love.. and memories I've had for Derek behind me.

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