I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin
Bodies were harder to move when they're dead.
She struggled to pull her mother across the floor. Thoughts of shooting her elsewhere in which disposing of her body would have been easier started being listed, but the deed was already done. Wait, why was she thinking of other places? That was all she could think of, her mind was trying occupy itself from shock. Any moment the authorities were going to be here.
"Where to put you?" Historia muttered.
In her mother's closet.
She dragged her into her room and dropped her to the floor for a moment. Upon opening the door, she paused. Why?
Why put the effort in trying to hide her?
She rushed out and fled to hers.
The gun was tucked behind her pants. She was only conscious of it when she bent low to grab a beaten up suitcase from under a set of drawers. Hastily she packed the few clothes she had. Some pants, a few shirts, a single white dress, and underwear- all of them she had for more than a year. Her thoughts raced again. Where would she go? Somewhere, somewhere far.
That man she put to sleep, he was still in the living room when she passed by. Quickly, she drew the gun and wiped it down free of her fingerprints, then she placed it in his hand. It was such a makeshift plan; by the time the authorities came, the man would immediately be called off as the main suspect. She, however, would be declared missing- surely they wouldn't suspect her.
They would think she fled from shock, right? She was innocent, she had innocence, she saw herself as innocent. No, she wasn't. She was impure, she had impurity, the blood was on her hands.
Her mother was the one who gave her her name. The moment her mother passed on, her name went along with her. She sprinted up the steps to the door that led out into the alleyway. In her first flight of freedom, Historia was left behind.
She flew through the door in such haste that she forgot about the porch. As she felt herself in the air, she attempted to leave behind Krista, but a pair of arms caught her and prevented her from running any further. Eren's hurried voice echoed to her, calling to her,"Hey, hey, hey, hey, calm down! Krista!"
"I need to get out of here!" She cried, her hand reached for the path that would lead her out of the forest. "Let go of me!"
"Easy, girl, easy!" Eren said.
"I said let go!" She screeched, her limbs started throwing themselves instinctively. She wanted to run.
Was that how bodies smelled of when they are left to decompose? Was that how her mother smelled like?
God forbid that they didn't find her, she couldn't imagine no one doing so.
"Calm down!" Eren exclaimed, he put her down after she elbowed his face. When she attempted to run once more, he held her by her waist and pulled her into a tight embrace in which she burst into tears. His hand went to her hair and stroked the back of her head to comfort her; she immediately clung to him and froze.
She couldn't leave this place, she was being held back.
"It's alright, Krista, it's alright. Just breathe. In. Out. That's a good girl," he told her once she had grown quiet. "Breathe."
-...-
Around noon they arrived at the clinic.
Levi sat in the lounge with Hanji, his face buried in his hand.
"Ymir's a fucking head case," he finally said after an hour of excruciating silence. "I hadn't seen so much...dead shit in my life. Jesus..."
"Well, what was in there?"
"A goddamn slaughter house. From the best I can tell, there were a bunch of dogs, something like those."
Hanji clucked her tongue. "There hadn't been any disappearances of dogs here. How large were they?"
"Big."
"Those might be wolves then," she concluded.
He stood up. "I'm going to turn in, don't bother me, alright?"
"...alright," she softly replied. He fished into his pockets and plopped down the picture and notebook. "This is all you found?"
"The picture was from Ymir's room. The book was among Marco's things, it's Ilse's journal," he briefly told her, he then left. "Have fun with those, don't let Eren know about them."
Hanji nodded even though he had turned his back to her. When the door closed, she reached out for the picture and examined it and the back side. Much to her surprise, she found Grisha Yaeger's signature and quickly understood why he refused to show Eren these things. The young man would throw himself into a fit of rage, anger that Ymir knew of his father but never brought news of him.
She then took the notebook and opened it to the first page.
Written upon the front page was the basic information.
This belongs to: Ilse Langnar
"...arrived at the University a week ago. I've decided to start a new journal since the last one was finished up. Everyone is so kind, they were right about it being different..."
She read on.
At times there were pages written with random notes about small reminders and, strangely, time.
She learned that Ilse was a Freshman. She was having problems and eventually sought aid from a certain doctor after attending a lecture in the wrong room by chance.
"...I decided to approach Professor Yaeger for treatment. He offered me help, given that I was unable to receive it back home. I'm so relieved that he was doing this for free..."
Ilse had a screening done and learned that she was suffering from schizophrenia, the initial cause of her issues.
"I met Ymir today, the student he told me about. She is going to help me, he said, I will be in good hands. The only way I can get help is through experimentation and clinical trials of his new medication- I'm her first patient. She's quite intimidating but she's a very good talker, she has her way with words but something about her bugs me..."
There were numerous records of times when medicine should be taken. Most of these drugs were things Hanji never heard of. Treatment went on for months, and over that time, the journal was often neglected for weeks. Her writing grew erratic and hurried, at times Hanji had to reread passages from the illegibility- the further she went, the less Ilse made sense.
"...I don't think it's working. Getting worse. Horrible. Ymir watches me. Those eyes. Eyes. Eyes. Eyes. Eyes..."
She went on tangents about Ymir. Random observations of the woman were made as they eventually became roommates.
"Curtains always closed. Close curtains. No light. I miss the light."
Times were written again, they were recorded frequently, and then one passage finally came into sight.
"Followed Ymir today. I listened to her. She was speaking to Prof. Yaeger. A cure? A cure for what? Licanthopy (sp)?"
"Lychanthropy," Hanji murmured.
Ilse had seemingly forgotten that she agreed for experimentation.
"...used me. They fucking used me. No help. Made worse. I know truth. Make them pay. Lychantrhopy. Monster. Silver. Yaeger said silver bad. Bad silver. Go into heart. Kill."
An entire page was left blank.
Then writing exploded in the next. It was neat and legible but it was definitely Ilse's.
Haniji feverishly read through it and, at the end, she placed it down and silently stared at the leather cover.
The last entry was dated over three months ago.
-...-
"Is she ok?" Sasha asked.
Mikasa shook her head. "She locked herself up in her room, she hadn't come out since lunch."
"Had she-"
They ceased when Krista appeared from the hallway. She was weary with her eyes bloodshot and puffy. Hair disheveled and clothes wrinkled, she looked like she had gone through hell and back. She had finally rose from the darkness of her room, her resolve, once again, made. With her thoughts replaying her last moments with her mother, she learned that she couldn't suppress what she had done.
"Poor baby," Sasha said under her breath; she slowly approached her. Gently, she reached for her arm and guided her into a hug.
It was the first time she had recognized someone was holding her, helping her. But she felt it to be fleeting. She vaguely remembered Ymir's embrace the first time she drank, but now, as she was carefully rocked in Sasha's arms, she was being comforted. Eren had done the same.
These people had suffered their own loses, and despite those, they were welcoming her. It was out of their best efforts that they aided one another- it was, indeed, a small town. They didn't know the truth of her, yet they accepted her, just as Ymir had done. However, what she had done set her apart from all of them, and while she was starting to establish her place, she felt that she could never fit in amongst them.
But for now, she needed to have a grasp on reality.
"Gonna go back," Mikasa said, breezing by them.
"Alright, g'night," Sasha bade her.
Krista pulled away and looked up at her.
"Heard you've been in your room all day," Sasha said, she gave a strong smile. Something had boosted her spirits. "You up for eating? There's a very nice diner next door, Franz and Hannah make the best ribs out here."
"...I'd love to eat," Krista said, voice hoarse.
"Awesome!"
In excitement, she grabbed Krista and carried her by the waist out into the street.
"H-hey!" Krista spluttered. Sasha had the same energy as Hanji, maybe even more. Compared to a few days ago, she noticed that Sasha walked with a bounce in her heels. In the height of the night, she was happy.
They stopped in front of the diner, there she was placed down. Sasha opened the door for her and ushered her in.
They were greeted by a freckled, auburn haired woman as she served a blond woman that sat alone at the bar. Her arm was in a sling that was strapped to her over her white sweater. She was alone and quiet, Krista was fixated on her as they took their seats three stools down.
"The usual?"
"Yup, Hannah, and can you get me a menu?" Sasha asked her.
"Gimmie a sec." Hannah poured the last of the coffee into the other lady's mug and called out,"Franz, Sasha's here!"
A menu was handed to Krista.
"Coming right up!" A man called back.
"How're you guys?" Sasha said conversationally.
"Since the tourists had started leaving, things have been slowing down. Regulars hadn't been coming in either. You too, except for Annie, she's been here every day since last Tuesday. Anyway, I heard what happened, are you and your father doing well?"
"...it's a bit of a shock, I think my Pa is getting old," she meekly told her.
A clatter of dishes from inside the kitchen prompted Hannah to leave. "Ugh, Franz is getting clumsy again, hold on- Franz, what'd you knock over this time!?"
Sasha chuckled. "Those two lovebirds just got engaged last year," she fondly explained,"they knew one another since elementary."
She took notice of Krista staring at the other blond.
"Um...Annie, how've you been?" Sasha asked.
Annie was stirring her coffee, she was staring at the counter but eventually, her eyes shifted to look at them. The hard and unwelcoming gaze sent shivers down her spine, Krista directed herself to look at the salt and pepper shakers, then she drew her attention to the laminated paper. Coldly, she answered,"I've been fine."
"...what about your shoulder?"
"I'm fine," she flatly replied. She sipped her coffee, her intentions of having conversation were nonexistent. Sasha laughed hesitantly.
"She's as scary as Ymir, maybe even scarier," Sasha whispered lowly.
"I don't know what can be worse than Ymir," Krista murmured as she browsed the main courses. "...are you sure you're alright yourself?"
"Why wouldn't I be?"
"You're just happy all of a sudden."
Sasha's smile faded away as she leaned against the counter. "Actually...I'm happy. I mean, Hanji came out with the results about the bullets and stuff. Of course, charges would be made if the case ever comes out but for now I can breathe easier. It wasn't my gun that killed him, it was Ymir's."
"So Ymir did it in the end..."
"...yeah, she did."
Sasha shifted about, her hands rested against the surface. Her fingers drummed against it once in a while and they were both quiet. She saw the grocer take out her phone, check her notifications, and then leave it out on the counter.
Hannah returned, took Krista's order, and went back to attend whatever was happening.
When the cheery waitress was gone, Sasha confessed,"I'm not worried for Ymir because it's just...I don't think it's Ymir at all, it's a gut feeling but I just know it can't be her."
"What do you mean?"
"I...just do. Ever since she came back, it didn't feel like it was her. Believe me, I've known her for most of my life. To come home and just close herself off like that? I mean...it's just weird. It got weirder when her father died shortly thereafter, she didn't attend the funeral; they weren't close but she would've gone. I think Marco was picking up on it too- he was left to arrange the entire thing."
Krista hummed. This was the first time she was gaining inside information about Ymir, real, reliable information. "What about her father?"
"He had a gambling problem. It was so bad that they lost most of their fortune, her mother even committed suicide at one point when they neared bankruptcy while Ymir was on the mainland. That's why she came back, I think, but no one's ever saw her at the cemetery, not once. Ymir's pretty brash herself, at least she has respect for others- she's rough, like a green horse. If you give her time, she'll warm up to you.
"She grew up rich. Hell, horses, they had horses and rivaled the Kirstein ranch a while back. Y'know, Ymir was a hell of a better rider than marksman; she had this Quarter named Odin, he was a real pretty boy. She was really smart with those animals, she knew how to communicate with them well- guess her ability to read them got her into that psychology stuff, she always knew what to say. That made her a damn good manipulator though...she always got me into debt to her."
Hannah returned to serve them coffee, she left once again.
"Ymir wasn't always an alcoholic, trust me. Within a week of being home, she started buying alcohol on a daily basis- sometimes she'd drive here drunk, which explains the truck going into Armin's shop. At the same time...things started to happen.
"Thomas was found dead in his car. He worked at the lumbar yard a few miles out, when his boss noticed he hadn't checked in for a week, the town started searching. They found him dead with half his torso gone." She shuddered. "It was a bloody mess. At first we thought it was a bear, but I didn't see any markings of one anywhere, all I saw were these large dog prints. Shortly later, Mina came up dead, then another went missing, it went on for about two a month. We started freaking out. Ymir wasn't suspected of anything at the start, Marco provided the alibi.
"Then he said she started disappearing into the woods every morning. He thought it weird since she was always a heavy sleeper, then he started finding her wondering out onto the main road. Meanwhile, she started neglecting to pay him, and after three months she sold off all of her horses since she couldn't afford maintenance- again, it was to cover debts too."
As she listened, Hannah brought over Krista's meal first. It remained untouched as she inquired,"Then when did Ymir started getting accused of these things?"
"...you'd have to ask Eren about that."
"Eren started the fire," she concluded.
"Pretty much, plus, he claimed to have seen her do things but I think it's just a ruse. Besides, with actual proof that she's killed Marco, she'll be locked away for sure. But...no body, no proof."
She hadn't known of Marco's second disappearance. "No body?"
"They told me he got up from the table and walked out like he was alive..."
Sasha slowly drank her coffee.
Krist took to fiddling with her meal.
"To be a killer, I'm willing to believe that. To be able to make the dead rise, that's just not right; Ymir shouldn't do that, no one should. Ymir said that if she died, it won't stop everything...I don't think she's who she is, but she knows something-"
"Sasha," Hannah said to her, they had forgotten she was there.
"Hm?"
"I...hadn't told anyone this yet, and I can't hold it in anymore," she began.
Krista saw Sasha's eyes flicker to hers as though she had been listening to their conversation. However, the woman's smile was too bright and they were delighted to have pleasant news for once.
She leaned close to them and whispered with a giggle,"I'm pregnant!"
"Congratula-!" Sasha exclaimed, but Hannah slapped a hand over her mouth. "Hmph!"
"Shush, I don't want Franz to know." The smile faded away. "If he does, he'll have me move out of here for safety, and then we can't run the diner anymore."
Sasha frowned and backed away. "With everything happening, he'll take you to the Stohess even if you tell him a few months from now."
"It's been three and I can't hide it," she muttered.
"Good God, are you getting checked by Hanji?"
"Of course I have! Point is...I can't go yet-"
Sasha clicked her tongue. "Your health is more important than money."
"Why don't you work here?" Krista asked, they looked at her with wide eyes. "Your market is closed down, why not make money here? That way, she can go to the mainland and not worry about it."
Hannah's face lit up with glee. "That's possible? Sasha, can you do this?"
There was no pause. "Sure thing!"
"Great, you can start once I leave!" The young woman scampered away, every step she made had a bounce. "Franz! Fraaaaanz!"
Sasha sighed longingly and softly chuckled. "They're so cute together. Thanks, Krista, that was thoughtful of you."
They watched the couple hug one another through the window into the kitchen. Krista, now revived with appetite, began to eat, but then Sasha scooted her stool back and stepped off.
"Gonna go to the bathroom," she said, leaving her.
A moment passed, and then the forgotten phone rang, its vibrations caught her ear.
Placing down her fork, Krista reached for it and found that the caller I.D. was labeled "Ymir".
Something drove her to pick it up. Underneath the I.D. was a number that she had never seen before; she remembered that the number she called on the advertisement weeks ago didn't match the one she was staring at right now. She hit the green button and softly answered,"Hello?"
There wasn't a reply, only silence. It was familiar and comforting.
"Sasha isn't here right now, do I take a message?"
"..."
"...are you the same person who keeps calling?" She timidly asked.
"..."
"Doctor Hanji took your belongings away."
"..."
"You shouldn't be calling."
"..."
"...are you Ymir?"
"..."
"You can't be, that's impossible."
"..."
"Please say something, anything."
"..."
She saw Sasha turn around the corner.
"I have to go."
She hung up and placed the phone back. Sasha seated herself by her, she didn't know if she saw her using her phone; the blond ate and kept to herself.
Hannah eventually gave Sasha her long awaited food, the brunette thanked her but turned her attention back to Krista.
"You were using my phone," she stated,"who called?"
"Just...a random number," she weakly lied, it was no use as she went to her call history. "...I'm sorry, it was Ymir."
Sasha gave a nod. She didn't apprehend her, nor was she shaken by the name.
"...it's strange whenever she calls, she never says anything. Whenever she calls, I'd go up to her place and she acts like she never did."
"But she shouldn't have called you now, she's been put under."
"...I know."
"Then if Ymir is asleep right now, who has been calling you?"