Disclaimer: If we owned Grey's Anatomy every day would be Grey's day. As it is just tomorrow is...so happy Grey's eve!
When I woke up this morning I had thought of quite a few ways today could have ended up. None of them ended with sharing dinner with Meredith and her son. Meredith was a mom. I hadn't expected it, it was the last thing I had expected, but I was happy. I had known something was keeping her from me, and had thought all kind of awful things. So a son, a son left me relieved. I could deal with a son
And Dillon Grey was adorable. He had spent most of dinner talking non stop about all of the things he loved to do, with Meredith every once in a while reminding him to eat his macaroni and cheese. And that was the other thing. I had spent my night eating macaroni and cheese. With Meredith and her son. It was the perfect evening, and I found myself thinking that this was the best date Meredith and I had ever been on.
She was smiling more, more relaxed and more at ease. She was just Meredith, no panicked looks, no nervous rambling. Just this beautiful gorgeous girl that I couldn't keep my eyes off of. Staring at her in front of her son was probably not right, but I couldn't help it. If at all possible I had fallen more in love with her than I had this morning.
I hadn't thought it possible until I watched her with her son. It was the first time I had ever seen her so relaxed. I remembered she had once said she wouldn't be a good mom, but she was honestly a great mom. A wonderful, beautiful mom. I was sure Mark had a term for moms you wanted to sleep with, and it probably wasn't a nice one, but Meredith was more than just the woman I wanted to have sex with, I wanted to love her forever.
"You know, Mer, for someone who doesn't kick you make a killer mac and cheese," I teased her, smiling slyly at Dillon.
Dillon laughed. "She makes good grilled cheese too," he told me. "But Aunt Izzie is the best cook ever."
"I've had the pleasure of having Aunt Izzie's cupcakes, and if they're any sample, she is quite good. Too bad her talents haven't rubbed off on your mom," I said laughing and winking at Meredith.
"I was going to give you some chocolate pudding," Meredith put a fake frown on her face, "but if you two keep it up, maybe I'll send you both straight to bed."
"Would you be accompanying me?" I whispered in her ear, leaning over to get the pepper that sat beside her.
"Derek!" she slapped my arm.
"Innocent question," I told her. "And you shouldn't hit me in front of your son."
"Yeah, Mommy," Dillon nodded, "Aunt Izzie says violence is never the answer."
"Yeah, Mom!" I told her.
She rolled her eyes. "And I thought I had only one six year old," she said. "And Dillon, tell Derek what your Aunt Cristina says about violence."
"I don't even want to imagine," I said, rolling my own eyes in Dillon's direction. "I work with your Aunt Cristina, and she's kind of scary."
He giggled. "Yeah she is. My daddy is a-scared of her."
Daddy. So there was a daddy somewhere in the picture, obviously not here, but somewhere. Somewhere close enough that he knows Cristina well enough to be afraid of her. I wanted to ask Meredith, but now wasn't the time. "She's not really a teddy bear."
Meredith laughed. "Cristina is the anti-teddy bear. Dillon, honey, are you done?"
"Yep," he said, nodding enthusisatically, jumping out of his chair.
"Why don't you go upstairs and get in your pjs and brush your teeth," she ordered in a way that sounded more like a suggestion than an order. "i'll be up in a second to tuck you in."
He nodded quickly and ran towards me, wrapping his arms around my legs. "Nice to meet you, bud," I told him, patting his tiny head.
"Nice meeting you too, friend Derek," he smiled. "You should come over tomorrow too. Aunt Izzie makes dinner tomorrow."
"I'll have to ask your mom if it's okay," I told him solemnly, hoping that Meredith would agree to have me come over. Now that I knew about Dillon, I wanted to know her friends, her family, I wanted to know it all.
"It will be," he said confidently. "And I can show you my legos. Do you like Legos?"
"I love Legos," I told him. Honestly, not that I'd admit that detail to Meredith.
"I made a space ship," he told me, his eyes lighting up with excitement. "Mommy, can I show Derek my space ship that Daddy bought me?"
Daddy, there was that word again. "Fine, but you need to get ready for bed right after," Meredith said, sighing in slight frustration.
He jumped up and took my hand. "Come on, Derek!" he exclaimed. "I built a spaceship!"
"Cool," I told him, trailing him up the stairs and sending a smile over my shoulder to Meredith.
He opened a door to the typical little boy's room, painted blue with a race car bed in the center of the room. He opened a door and pulled the Lego spaceship out of the closet. "See?" he grinned.
"That is one sharp space ship," I told him crouching down to look at it more closely. I wanted to ask him about his dad but knew it wasn't my place, at least not until I talked to Meredith about it. But there was another question I could ask. "Hey bud, has your dad ever taken you fishing?"
"Fishing?" he scrunched up his face. "Nope."
I laughed sightly at the look on his face, it was so much like one I had seen Meredith give me many times. "Do you want to go fishing sometime with me?"
He thought for a moment and then nodded. "Yeah! But I don't have a fishing pole."
"That's okay, bud, I can take care of that for you," I told him slightly ruffling his hair.
"Derek, really," Meredith jumped in, "you don't have to. Take him fishing or buy him a pole.'
"It's okay, I want to," I told her confidently. Dillon was part of Meredith's life and that made him part of mine.
"Derek, really," she said, shaking her head. "You don't have to do this. You don't have to, you know, do things like that."
"Dillon, I have to talk to your mom, how about you get ready for bed and come find us when you're done?" At his nod, I grabbed Meredith's hand and dragged her out of the room and into the hall, closing the door behind me. "Meredith, I know I don't have to do this. But you're part of my life now, and that makes Dillon part of it too."
"Derek, you don't have to try to prove to me that you like him," she stammered. "You don't have to, you know, get on my good side by taking him fishing. You don't have to do that."
Meredith was crazy. I loved her, but she was crazy. Some guy had obviously messed her up along the way, and that just seemed so wrong. "Meredith, I do like him. He's an amazing kid, you did a great job raising him. And the only good side I'm trying to get on is his, so he lets me keep dating his mom. Not that I don't want to be on your good side, but I'll work on that later tonight."
"Derek," she rolled her eyes and then sighed. "He does like you already."
"Good," I said smiling and gently rubbing Meredith's cheek. "I fully plan on asking him for his permission to date you on the fishing trip, so it's nice to know I already have a leg up."
Her expression softened at my words. "Derek, I know you want to do this, but---" Dillon's door opened behind us and he came out in Finding Nemo pajamas.
"Hey bud," I greeted him. "All ready for bed?"
"Yeah," he nodded, and then turned to Meredith. "Mommy, can I please go fishing with Derek? I've never been and Uncle George said he'd take me but he never does and I really want to go. Please, Mommy. Please? I'll be an extra good boy."
I turned around and gave Meredith a pleading look, hoping she'd give in. Hoping that she'd give me a chance to find out about the part of her life that I had accidentally discovered. "Please?" I asked.
She looked at the two of us, Dillon's puppy face and my pleading eyes and then sighed. "Fine, Dillon. You can go fishing with Derek."
I turned around giving the little guy five. Meredith was such a push over and it was going to be fun having a partner in crime. "So I guess I'll be seeing you later?" I said to him.
"Yep," he nodded and then hugged my legs. "Night, Derek. Night, Mommy."
I loved the leg hugging. It was so small and silly and nothing. But I loved it. After hugging Meredith he turned around and left the hall, running into his room and heading to bed. "And we need to talk," I whispered to Meredith.
"Yeah, I know," she sighed. "Just give me a minute to tuck him in. I'll be down in a minute. Feel free to pour yourself something to drink."
I headed downstairs, and took time exploring the ground level. There were pictures all over the place, of Meredith and Dillon smiling and laughing together. Many of them had her friends, her family in them. They looked happy, carefree, completely relaxed unlike many of the people I was used to being around. I wanted to be part of this, I wanted to be part of her life.
She came downstairs a couple minutes later and went into the kitchen, beckoning me to follow her. She started gathering the dishes, but stopped, looking at me. "You really are okay with him, aren't you?"
"Of course I am," I told her, shaking my head and going to help her with the dishes.
"Good," she nodded, smiling as I brought the plates to her at the sink. "But you still want to talk."
"Not about him, Mer. He's perfect," I told her. "More about the daddy situation, because from what I gather there is a daddy in the picture."
She nodded slowly. "There is."
"There is," I said, nodding slowly myself. "I'm not pushing, Mer. But Dillon is part of my life now, and I just, I want to know some details."
"Okay," she nodded, and then turned off the sink, heading towards the table. "His name is Lucas."
"Lucas," I didn't particularly like the name, but passed it off as jealousy. "Does he live in Seattle?"
"Yes," she nodded. "He lives about ten minutes from here. He gets Dillon every other weekend. Well, he's supposed to get Dillon every other weekend. Sometimes, it doesn't work out that way."
"Hence the strange phone calls and you running out," I said, things starting to come together.
"Yeah," she sighed. "He'll pick Dillon up and then something will come up."
"That can't be easy on you," I told her, gently placing my hand on her back and kissing her cheek.
"It's fine," she smiled. "Really. I understand. And he's a great daddy. He loves Dillon."
I nodded slightly, not sure if I wanted to believe the story of him loving her. I wasn't exactly what kind of great daddy stood up their kids on the weekend. But if Meredith thought so, I was going to go along with it. For now. "So what's your story? You and Lucas."
She sighed and got up. "Do you want a glass of wine?"
I nodded and gently laughed to myself. "No avoiding, Mer."
She poured us each a glass of wine and nodded. "No avoiding," she repeated and then sat down at the table. "Lucas and I dated in med school. We met at a party and started sleeping together, so I don't know if dating is the right word for it. But we were dating for six months when I found out I was pregnant."
"Which is when you dropped out of med school?" I asked her gently, sitting down beside her and holding her hand.
"Which is when you dropped out of med school?" I asked her gently, sitting down beside her and holding her hand.
"Yeah," she sighed. "I considered getting an abortion, I really did. I even went to the clinic. But when I got there, I just couldn't, I couldn't do it. I don't even know why. I just couldn't. And so I dropped out, because you can't go through four years of med school with a baby, and then be an intern with a five year old."
"You did what was best for you," I told her soothingly. This was by far the most she had openend up to me since the second we had met. And I was terrified she'd stop. This is the stuff I wanted to know, this was the stuff I needed to know.
"I did what was best for Dillon," she replied, taking a sip of her wine. "I could have done it. My mom was a resident when I was born. But, well, I wanted Dillon to turn out better than me."
I smiled gently at that. Meredith's life seemed to have been heartache after heartache. "I think you turned out just fine," I told her, rubbing her cheek slightly as she smiled. "So what happened with you and Lucas?"
Another sigh. I was obviously asking her the hard questions, but she had promised she wouldn't avoid. And she wasn't. "When I told him, he asked me to marry him. I completely freaked out. I didn't want to be married. I was twenty-four years old. Having a baby was one thing, but getting married? I couldn't do it. When I told him, he, uh, he dumped me. And that was it. He just...dumped me."
He dumped his pregnant girlfriend just because she didn't want to marry him. He dumped his beautiful wonderful girlfriend. Basically cemented my thoughts of the man, complete ass. "That's tough," I told her, not knowing what ele to offer as comfort.
She nodded, and I could tell she was holding back some tears. "I had my friends though. My family. They were all there when Dillon was born. George threw up. Cristina officially started calling him Bambi."
I laughed gently, feeling even more that I needed to meet these people that had been there when Meredith had needed them the most. "How did...how did Lucas end up in his life? If he just dumped you like that, how did he come back?"
She shrugged. "He came over one day and asked to see his son," she replied. "The minute he saw Dillon, he asked if he could be in his life. If he could be his daddy. When I moved out here to Seattle, he came two years later. Got a job here. He said he wanted to be close to Dillon."
"You didn't have to hide this all from me," I told her. I knew the subject had been covered but I suddenly felt the need to reassure her that I was here. That there was nothing she couldn't have told me.
She nodded carefully and squeezed my hand. "Thank you for not running today, Derek. There have been other guys who have."
"Jerks," I told her laughing. "I'm not going anywhere, Meredith. You know how I feel. And I'm here. No running."
She smiled softly and leaned over and kissed me. "I'm glad you're here, Derek."
"So am I," I said. "And what was this about you sending me to bed right after supper?" I asked, with the best wink I could pull off.
She laughed and got up, taking her wine glass to the sink. "Maybe another time, Dr. Shepherd," she smiled. "Maybe next weekend."
"Oh definitely next week, Ms. Grey," I said, walking up behind her and pulling her into my arms.
She turned and looked me in the eyes, her own eyes deathly serious. "He really likes you, Derek," she said carefully. "And I'm sure he'll actually love you after a while. You can't hurt him."
"Meredith," I said, matching her serious gaze with one of my own. "No one here is going to get hurt. I promise."
These arms will never let you down, they're staying around.