CHAPTER 14:

"Ms. Mui, you have what's called 'End-Stage Liver Disease'. Your addiction to alcohol has progressed it further. In order for you to get on the Donor list, you need to be sober for at least six months for you to be eligible. Unfortunately, the tests show that you don't have that long. So, unless you have a family member who is a match, and is willing to donate….there isn't much hope for you."

"Right…" Cooper sighed. He had brought Jen to the ER of St. Mary's Hospital where they had immediately admitted her and gave her the grim diagnosis.

"Cooper, I'm…"

"You brought this on to yourself. Apologise to your liver."

Jennifer decided that she should be the one to break the news to Fiona over the phone and let her know about the frail condition she was in.

"Fiona…" Jen explained her story through tear-welled eyes.

"You've done this unto yourself."

"I know." She sniffled. "Look if I can speak to Marissa, maybe we'd be able to start over. Maybe this is our chance to make things right."

"Good luck with that. I'll bring her to you, but I cannot promise anything."

Fiona drove Marissa to the familiar building that was St. Mary's hospital. They walked up to room fifty-four twenty-six. Marissa saw her mother, hooked up to a few machines, their functions unknown to her. She walked over and stood opposite the bed where Jen was lying. Her hair had been cut again since Marissa had last seen her. It used to be waist length, now it was back to her usual short shoulder length cut. Marissa glared into her mother's dark brown eyes that were now filled with a slight yellow discolouration from the jaundice she was experiencing due to her liver failure. Marissa sighed at the sad sight.

"You're pathetic." Marissa scowled. Jen sighed despairingly.

"I know…I've come to understand that. Listen…I don't deserve any sympathy, none what so ever." Jen admitted. Marissa stared back, still unimpressed.

"Damn right you don't, drinking yourself sick."

"I…you couldn't have imagined how much hurt and guilt and remorse and regret I was feeling." Jen finished in a hushed whisper. She bit down on her lip to prevent it from quivering. Marissa pulled up a chair to the side of her bed.

"Killing the man that you loved and married and is the father of your child will do that to you."

"God…I…" It was taking all that Jen had to hold back her sobs that were desperately seeking their way out of her throat. She inhaled slowly; the pain from her lack of liver function had started up again in her gut. She closed her eyes, hoping it would just pass. Marissa watched curiously. This whole time, she had thought about it all; could she really stay angry at her mother all her life?

"Marissa…this is…they say the only way I can survive is if I can get a transplant from a family member. They won't allow me on the list until I've been at least six months sober and even I know I don't have that long." She said in a raspy voice. She was dead tired and going into withdrawal from her now non-existing consumption of alcohol.

"Are you asking me to give you part of mine?" Marissa decided to go straight to the point of her mother's long and painfully drawn out conversation. Jen was slightly surprised.

"Yes, I am."

"No. Absolutely not." Marissa said as she started to leave the room.

"Wait! I know it's a lot but…this is the only thing I have and will ever ask of you. Hell, if I you do donate part of it, and still don't want to speak to me ever again, so be it. I just…I want to have a second chance at this. And this, this thing that I did to myself, gives me that chance as painful as it is. Marissa, if I die…that never solves anything. It gives me the easy way out." She panted. "I could have easily killed myself after I killed your father but…I didn't because of you. You were in my mind for all of those twelve years and…" Jen felt herself starting to cry as words rolled off her tongue. "I knew I fucked up, but…the love for that three year old waiting at home…it made me keep going. I…Marissa?" She cried softly. Marissa moved back to her chair. "Please, don't let me get out of this so easily. Please…" Jen was full out sobbing now. Marissa sat there, looking back in cold silence. If she gave part of her liver, her mother would live. Whether she wanted to have a healthy relationship with her mother or not, that would come with time. If she didn't give her liver, her mother would die in front of her very own eyes, she would suffer through it until her very last breath.

Marissa saw the desperation in her mother's eyes. It was a silent, guilt-ridden plea for help. Marissa sat there, her glance unable to be broken from her mother. She didn't know what to do. She wanted to hate her still, but it was becoming incredibly hard not to; she was her own mother. But in the circumstance that she was in, Marissa felt torn.

"I need to think about it."

"Okay…" Jen nodded, holding back more tears, trying to conserve her energy. "You do that, all right?"

"Yes…I'll be back, soon."

Marissa could barely keep the drops of tears in her eyes long enough to make it to the door. Fiona had been waiting outside in the waiting area, biting her nails nervously. When Marissa came out, Fiona stood up to greet her.

"So…" Instead of a reply, Marissa buried her face into Fiona's shoulder and started sobbing. "Oh God…I…" Fiona stopped talking, and instead embraced her, stroking Marissa's hair.

"I don't know what to do." She sobbed loudly. Fiona didn't know what to say. Fiona knew the circumstances, but what she didn't know was if her goddaughter was going to let her best friend die.