Tantrum and Tenderness
Chapter 14 – Between the Lines
It was not long after Judith had fallen into a first, exhausted, dreamless sleep when her night rest got interrupted by excited voices that came from over the fireplace. "Where's the Colonel? I need to report. It's urgent!"
A heavy load fell from Judith when she recognized the voice and whispered with joy to herself: "James. He's back!"
"You regard that a reason to cheer?" Tavington searched to dampen her obvious relief. He wasn't all too pleased with the unforeseen early return of the Captain.
Judith had been about to jump to her feet and take flight into the embrace of James' arms, when Tavington's remark made her realize that it would bring little happiness to James to see her rising from underneath the Colonel's blanket. Her joy at his return died away instantly, making place for some profound concern. Would James take offense at what he saw or would he understand that she had had no other choice? In fact, she feared his reaction. If only she had known that his return had been so close, she would never have asked Tavington for shelter.
The sound of footsteps quickly drew nearer and only stopped right next to the place where she and the Colonel lay.
"Sir!" James Wilkins addressed his superior respectfully but insistently. "I'm sorry to disturb, Sir, but I saw lights moving around. There are apparently men with torches wandering through the night. It might be militia. They have probably moved their activities into the night time as it has fallen so silent around them lately. I suggest we examine this more closely before they approach us closer than we like. They're not very far."
Judith drew in her head as he spoke, for she wished James would never become aware of her current whereabouts. Of course, there was no way to avoid it, still she tried. She grabbed one edge of the blanket and tried to keep herself covered with it. All for naught. None too gently, Tavington pushed her aside as she hindered him to stand up, leaving her half covered lying on the ground. To make her exposure perfect, he ripped the blanket from her hands with one powerful movement as he rose to his feet. She now half lay, half sat on the ground, shyly casting shameful glances at James.
James Wilkins had been waiting for Tavington to answer. He was used to quick decisions by the Colonel in situations like this. Instead of a combat-ready colonel, however, he saw sluggish movements from under the blanket and he wondered if Tavington had really been that fast asleep that it took him so long to get to his feet. Had he heard him at all? James couldn't tell whether the Colonel was just turning around or whether he was about to stand up. Then finally the blanket was thrown back and James saw the reason for the delay.
Judith had been with him.
"What on earth…" James began but was lacking the words to finish his sentence. It hurt him to see Judith peeling off the blanket. As far as he could make it out, she was dressed properly, and nothing hinted at an unseemly attachment between her and Tavington. Still it had a bad taste. Then again, no, it was not like Judith to spend the night with a man that easily. How else had she gotten under this blanket then? Had Tavington forced her? In front of the men? It appeared just as implausible to him as a willing Judith.
"Moving lights you say? Not far from here?" Tavington interrupted James' thoughts about the possible background of Judith presence under his blanket, while he casually flattened his clothes.
"Yes, Sir. They're on the other side of the hill. They may not discover us, but in case they're militia it would be an excellent occasion to finally get hold of them," James perfunctorily gave the requested information, not taking his eyes off Judith.
Normally, Tavington would never have accepted someone talking to him without the fitting measure of attention. But if he interpreted the present situation right, it was yearning to take its own course.
A quarrel was in the air. Something told Tavington that it would be way more effective to set them apart if he let them have their way. At least for the while that the troop needed to get ready. He refrained from interfering as he thought it wiser to allow things to develop themselves. He was curious to see who of them would lose their temper first.
Contrary to Tavington, who seemed to be far from feeling caught or ashamed, Judith was completely caught up in her discomfiture. With difficulty she finally got to her feet. She was battling for words to explain the situation to James. Awkwardness and regret spoke from her every movement. James was torn between jealousy and sympathy. She had been under his blanket, she had been lying with her tormentor. What should he think of it?
"How many are they?" Borden had joined their little gathering, holding a torch in his hand.
"I've counted round about a dozen lights, it might be more men." It was hardly anything more than a voicing of facts as James' mind solely circled around Judith.
Tavington did not precisely appreciate Bordon's meddling in the conversation for he felt clearly it was better not to put the two of them off their argument, but even before he could give any further word of command, eventually it burst from Judith: "James, this is not what it looks like. This is not what you think!"
James couldn't help but think that her words were nothing more than those of an unfaithful wife for her cuckolded husband. Now, Judith and he never had been in such a relationship close enough to justify his mortification. However, seeing Judith keeping company with Tavington was hard to bear and made him doubt the worthiness of his freshly made resolution to help her whatever it would take.
In the light of the torch that Bordon had brought along, James could finally make out her features in the dark. One look in her face told James more than a thousand words could say. When he saw all the unspoken words of genuine despair in her eyes, he suddenly knew for sure what to do.
"Since when do you care about what I am thinking?" James replied with a stony face.
"Oh my god, James. Please, don't let me down. You see, I can explain this…"
"There's nothing you need to explain to me, Judith!"
"Please James, listen, I understand that the situation must look strange to you, maybe it wouldn't if I had ever given you the chance to get to know me better. I know, I should have talked to you before…"
"A regrettably late remorse of yours, Judith, wouldn't you say?"
"But James, it's never too late to tell the truth."
"And what truth would that be, Judith?" James paused and focused on Judith with a stern face that made everybody believe he was about to give her the walking papers. In fact though, he feverishly searched for the right words to continue. "I will only say that much: Truth is an odd one, always dependent on the beholder's view. Like a rainbow hidden anywhere within an unsteady mixture of sun and rain, only visible for those who will look upon it in the right angle. Now I'm asking you, are the two of us still looking in the same direction? What I wonder will you look upon when you see through the rain? Will you be able to spot the rainbow?"
Judith didn't know what to think. Aghast she looked at James. She knew about his refined way to express himself and treasured each line he'd ever written to her. But this was hardly the time for poetry.
So far, James had made use of this exquisite melody of words exclusively in his letters, a well composed, pictorial and intimate language that all the time had been reserved solely to the both of them. Never before had she heard him actually speak in such a manner. Judith had difficulties to see his motivation now. Was he going to abandon their solemn bonds? Seeing James lowering at her, Judith feared for the worst.
"Captain Wilkins", Frank Bordon suddenly made himself heard. "I think your private issues and philosophic embroidery do not belong here at the moment." He was sure to act just to Colonel Tavington's liking if he called a halt to their more than untimely dispute.
"I'd thank you to saddle my horse, Captain Bordon", Tavington ordered him harshly away though.
"But Sir, I really should think there's no time for the two of them to discuss their relationship…", Bordon persisted.
"And I should think you will go and saddle my horse, Captain. Do I make myself clear?"
Stunned to find Tavington not amused, Bordon knuckled under at once.
"Of course, Sir!" He knew only to well about the unpleasant consequences for those who made the Colonel repeat his orders. But never had he reckoned that he would find himself one day being the target of Tavington's wrath. To avoid further difficulties, Captain Bordon quickly withdrew.
James and Judith hadn't paid much attention to Bordon or Tavington as they were busy with themselves, eyeing one another intensively. Under the searching scrutiny of James, Judith eventually sensed that he had just attempted to speak to her in disguise. Yet she was far too agitated to respond to it in an appropriate way.
"James, I beseech you, come to your senses! Can't you see? I haven't kept all your letters for nothing!"
"My letters!" James snorted disdainfully, "They're history now. All the more as you obviously like it a bit more straightforward, don't you? So, hear my words and listen carefully because from now on I will talk to you in plain English: You see, thanks to the Colonel I had plenty of time and silence to make up my mind and quite a few things have become clear to me. I should have put a hold on my correspondence to you long time ago. It is only now that I see how stupid I've been. I promise you, I'll never do that again."
Tavington smiled, everything seemed to take the course he wanted. Unfortunately, he would have to forgo the pleasure to watch Wilkins' heart break as the young Captain seemed to have come to a reasonable resolution. Although Tavington still would have preferred to wake up with Judith in the morning, he was delighted to see his essential plan still at work. It took so little to wear a man down.
However, Judith on her part realized that James' words should have scared her to the core, but strangely they just didn't. She vaguely felt that there was something in the wording that tried hard to get through to her, like gentle rays of sun that forced their way through the rain. It wasn't yet enough to color the shadowy gray, not yet enough to make her see. Indecisively, she asked him: „Is that the same James Wilkins who has so indefatigably written letter upon letter to me in the past? Or was that all just sound and fury?"
"It is the same James Wilkins who has finally understood the folly of writing letters to you. Once I fancied to be your friend and was silly enough to put it down in the words of my letters. Now I shall know better!" In his mind he added another few thoughts, wishing he could have whispered them in her ear: 'Come on Judith, get the meaning. No longer am I to leave it at words. I'm going to act as your friend.'
"James, please. I've lost Sarah already. Don't break with me. I don't want to lose another friend", Judith uttered helplessly though.
"A friend, Judith? Yes, naturally! Now that you are in need, you suddenly know how to address me, don't you?" James remarked and sounded embittered. "I can well imagine that you finally wish to have me for friend. It appears that you still have to learn a few things about friendship. True friends would hardly ever have to beg for the other one's help, would they? At least as far as I can remember I never heard you begging Sarah for a favor."
"Yes, that is because she never gave me a reason to beg. Whenever I needed her, she was just there and helped."
"You don't say! Is that really so? Well, now that you've given such pointed definition, I can see that you do know what friendship is about. How do you come to ask me a favor then? Considering that you and Sarah had ever been so close friends why don't you take her advice? Wasn't it her who always warned you of the wrong in keeping my letters? Wasn't it her who confirmed you in making a mistake in the dealing with me?"
Judith was thunderstruck. How could James know about this? In fact, Sarah had warned her to make a mistake, even though it had been the opposite of what he now suggested. But how could he know at all? Never had she actually spoken to Sarah on that matter that someone might have overheard them. It was merely in their correspondence. Judith did not believe in a mere coincidence that James had just referred so precisely to Sarah's arguments. He could not possibly have caught hold of the letter, could he? She remembered the discarded letters, maybe she had overlooked a few when she had picked them up. Provided that he knew about this special correspondence, his wording was chosen well and made perfectly sense to her. Judith cast him a questioning glance.
James on his part saw her bewilderment at the attempt to understand and could easily guess her thoughts. With only so much as giving her the idea of a nod he went on: "Turn's out she's been right! If you ask me, it's about time to finally take her advice. You could do worse than rely on a sincerely concerned friend."
"Are you serious, James?" Inwardly, Judith was so busy to comprehend that her voice threatened to fail.
"Trust me, Judith, I've never been any more serious than I am now."
"Frank words, Captain. Nice to see that you are finally taking the point," Tavington commented. He only read disappointment and sarcasm in Captain Wilkins' demeanor. "Renounced dates and closed doors are not exactly the way to prove one's fondness. If you want to know what's going on in people's heads, take a look at their deeds, not their words."
"You're telling me, Sir." James consented and was glad to see that the Colonel was about to take the bait.
Tavington had intended to pour cold water on their fondness to one another by separating James from Judith. Seeing now that James Wilkins had obviously so fundamentally changed his mind in his absence, astonished the Colonel. Tavington found it remarkable how smoothly things were running, almost too smooth. It was one thing to disavow one's affection verbally, it was another to maintain it with one's actions. Tavington decided to test Wilkins: "Well then Captain, how about some retaliation for all the heartache this woman has caused on you? Take her and bind her to a tree! We shall pick her up later."
"I should be delighted, Sir!" James agreed promptly with a voice that was fraught of satisfaction.
Tavington could observe that the Captain didn't seem to mind the order at all. James Wilkins displayed a sinister resoluteness to do as Tavington had just ordered when he stepped up to Judith and seized her harshly.
In fact, James Wilkins was delighted, delighted as he figured that his chance had just come, whereas Judith's mind raced.
Her sentiments reached from reliance to distrust. She had seen the ambiguity in James' words so far. But at the same time his present acting stood in so flagrant contradiction to it that her freshly gained hope that James might be about to help, began to falter as he dragged her with him. "Please, James, reconsider, if any of the things you have ever written to me is true, let me go! I beg of you, I beseech you: Don't do it! Let me go!" Judith pleaded, not caring that Tavington could hear her and would never allow that she escaped from under his eyes.
But judging by appearances, Tavington wouldn't need to worry about her flight as James retorted to her in a cross voice: "You've heard the colonel. It's not in the words. Well then, save your breath and let's get this over with. I've made my choice and nothing will keep me from acting according to it. Do you understand!"
It was only for a split second that Judith saw James giving her a brief wink. It was there and so fast gone that she wasn't sure if it had been real. Judith prayed she had not misread James' ulterior motives and clung to the idea that his current doing was all part of the plan and meant to her good. However, she just failed to see the good in his rather uncaring effort to actually bind her. He had already forced her against a near tree trunk and wasted no time fixing her tightly with a rope.
„Ouch, James! No, stop it! You hurt me, no, please don't. My back!" Judith bleated, trying to call on James' sympathy not to continue this.
„How much longer will this take, Captain Wilkins?" Colonel Tavington asked impatiently.
In a sudden rush of panic, Judith tried with all her might to gain some space between her back and the tree trunk. It was a futile attempt as she found the rope cutting into her arms and torso. "Oh my god, James, how can you do this to me? I'd rather be dead than to stay in that man's clutches any longer! Don't leave me here."
It was not before then that James eventually showed his true colors. Soundlessly, he unsheathed his dagger. Judith saw the blade shimmering ghostly in the pale moonlight. She had not reckoned on such an immediate compliance from James with her preference to die. Was she really to meet her death by his hand? James left her no time to wonder or worry, as he swiftly carried out his plan. With a powerful motion he let his dagger cut. A second later Judith felt the rope slacken that had tied her so relentlessly against the rough bark only moments ago. Noticed by no one, Judith beamed with felicity. Despite the deep night surrounding her, she saw the rainbow shining in all its colorful glory.
"Oh, now I see, James. You have truly made your choice then. I was blind, I should have known, I…" the rest of her rather thoughtless intent to express her thanks and gratefulness muffled into the palm of James' hand that he had alertly pressed on her mouth.
"A wise person would know when to keep silent", he advised her sharply to keep up appearances. Judith was horrified when she saw how close she had been to sabotage her own rescue and quickly nodded. Then James removed his hand and went on, "But as you will hardly ever manage to keep your big mouth shut, just go on calling me names. I don't mind. After all we went through by now, I shall know what to think of it. Do you understand? Nothing you might say, could affect me now."
The sound of horses' hooves could be heard and James knew it was time to leave.
Without any further word to Judith, he hurried off.
His departure was attended by the requested insults of Judith: "If that is the case, you had better go with your comrades now! You've been asking for it, so hear my words and I hope you get me loud and clear: I now see what a fine friend you are! Really a fine one! You Bastard! Your love might fill an ocean? My eye! There's no danger of drowning! Your love is as shallow as a pool." Judith was crying. It made her statements quite believable as her voice was shaking. But in fact she cried because she was forced to yell such nasty things at James whereas she would have liked to tell him quite the opposite. She knew that he knew it was part of the game, still it made her feel horrible. Wracked with sobs, she called a last 'goodbye' in the darkness: "To hell with you, James Wilkins!"
James Wilkins smiled as he was relieved to find Judith playing along convincingly. Her fit of emotion couldn't have pleased him any better.
„I've hardly ever heard kinder words of farewell," Tavington teased. With an unconcealed smirk on his face, he turned to Captain Wilkins, who had finally caught up with him to head the troop. "Apparently, she's really not all too much into you. Telling from her muffled noises, you've finally stolen the long overdue kiss from her. No wonder she's spitting venom now. Very well. After all you had to take from her, I understand you were in need of it. But be warned", Tavington's tone changed abruptly into menacing severity, "in the future I won't allow any further approaches of that kind. And just in case your common sense has not yet made you aware of it, I tell you this: From now on she's none of your business any more. Are we clear?"
"I take it that you want me to acknowledge the new state of affairs when we return?"
"Exactly, Captain. And that without 'ifs' or 'buts'."
"You need not worry, Sir." Around the corner of James' mouth played a well guarded sneer.
"Very well." Tavington accepted briefly Wilkins' consent and returned to his elated way of holding James in derision: "It's a pity for the ink you wasted to write all those letters to her. In the future, you ought to save it for someone who is more fond of your charms."
"What for the ink?" James Wilkins assumed an air of indifference and shrugged his shoulders. "I believe there is another task now!"
To him it were the sweetest things Judith had ever said to him.
When the Dragoons returned several tiring and battle-filled hours later, they had half a dozen captives in tow. A success that lost it's glory at the very moment when it turned out that Judith wasn't there any more.
„I say! The dragonfly is airborne then!" Tavington pressed through gritted teeth, barely moving his lips as they were frozen with anger like the rest of his face. He dismounted in a rage and headed to the place where they had left Judith. All that had remained there were discarded fetters, which were correctly knotted, but almost derisively clear cut through.
"How is that possible, Captain?" He shoved the rope under James' nose. „I think you have to do some explanation!"
"What do you mean?" James gave himself the air of being just as ignorant as innocent. "As you can see, my knots are without fail. Obviously, someone must have cut the rope while we were away and enabled her to escape. Maybe one of the rebels, I assume."
"A rebel you say?" Tavington suspiciously raised one brow, clearly displaying his disbelief in his words. To him it was clear who hat cut the rope. Indeed it was a rebel, a newborn rebel among their own lines. "Yes, Captain Wilkins, that may well be. Most probably it was someone of that insurgent rabble. Someone who thinks himself very smart. Unfortunately, a cut rope will hardly give reliable evidence, but in fact it looks like the mean doing of a filthy colonial!"
For a moment of baleful silence, the two men stood face to face. Colonel Tavington cast such piercing glare at his inferior, that James could almost feel the stab.
What infuriated Tavington even more than the fact that James Wilkins had tricked him, was his own failure to smell the rat any earlier. Now, he could not easily lay hand on him, after all he was a British soldier. Even if Tavington could have proved that Wilkins was being guilty of freeing a captive, he could not well formally accuse the Captain of treason. Tavington knew he would get himself into serious trouble, as he could not come up with any good reasons why he had taken hold of that woman at all. After all, she had been his personal captive.
Pearls of cold sweat betrayed James Wilkins panicking under the scrutiny of Colonel Tavington. He couldn't keep himself from reaching for his dagger as he succumbed to the urge to make sure that there weren't left any traces on it, which might betray him and his deed.
Tavington had followed James movement and now focused on the weapon, too. "Anything wrong with your dagger, Captain?"
Suddenly the dagger felt like live coals to James. Withdrawing his hand, he nervously cleared his throat, "No, Sir, everything is just fine!"
"Amazing, how heavily an otherwise light item can weigh on a man at times, wouldn't you say?"
"Excuse me, Sir, what was your order?" James tried to evade from the tricky situation.
Reluctantly, Tavington had to admit that he had no legal handle on James Wilkins at the moment, but at least he wanted to banish him from his eyes. "Take the captives to Ford Carolina. With my best regards to General Cornwallis and his two-legged lap-dog. Let's see if that gentle-sissy of a Brigadier General can get anything out of them."
In his momentary fury, Tavington didn't make any attempt to hide his distaste for O'Hara as well as for the order of Cornwallis' to give quarter to surrendering soldiers instead of sending them to hell. That those highly insubordinate remarks remained within the Green Dragoons, went without saying. Some of the men shared his view and the others didn't even think of denouncing their superior. "Probably he will be more successful by using honourable methods. I doubt it! However it may be, I will look for that girl…"
"But, Sir, in all probability, it's a couple of hours ago that she escaped. She could be anywhere by now. And in addition to this she knows her way around here way better than you. She's grown up here, perhaps it would be more effective if I …"
"You just follow my order, Captain!" Tavington furiously barked at Wilkins.
The both of them eyed each other closely. James could clearly feel the Colonel's silent accusation of aiding and abetting Judith's flight and thought it wiser not to tempt him any further.
"Yes, Sir!" James obediently set about to comply with his order and turned to head off.
"Captain Wilkins?" Tavington detained James from parting all too swiftly.
"Yes, Sir?"
„Be sure to have every reason to take good care!" Tavington advised sinisterly and both men knew he was not referring to the transport of the captives.
With that being said, Colonel William Tavington wasted no further time. He didn't wait for the troop to part. James Wilkins could observe the Colonel rushing away, vanishing into the rosy dawn of early daybreak and he was left wondering whether Tavington had a distinct idea where to find Judith.