Chapter 14.
Myka watches on, awkwardly, as Claudia embraces Pete to say goodbye. It seems to come so naturally. They seem so close, they seem like family. A family she no longer considers herself a part of. She has never felt more of an outsider than right in that moment. It's that exact same feeling of displacement that echoed throughout the entirety of her childhood.
After the fond farewell, Claudia leaves the hospital room, announcing that she will wait downstairs. Pete waits, until he is fairly certain Claudia is out of earshot, before he speaks.
"She's just a kid, don't let her get to you. She'll get over it."
Myka nods, silently. Thing is, Claudia wasn't that far off the mark. But she smiles reassuringly at Pete, she tries to smile, at least. Of all the things bugging her right now, she considers Claudia Donovan pretty low down on the list.
"Promise me one thing." Pete asks of her, in a soft voice.
She knows she can't promise him anything, as much as she would like to promise him the world. He extends his hand towards her from where he lay in that hospital bed. This time she inches closer to him. As if she is no longer in control of her feet. She comes close enough for him to take her hand in his own, but she is careful to come no closer than that.
And he wants to ask the world of her. Wants to ask her never to leave him again, wants to ask her to open up to him and tell him what's really bothering her, wants her to discard all that guilt hanging over her, shake it off forever. He wants things to go back to normal, to put all this behind them and move forward. But he knows he is asking too much.
"Come back. Tomorrow. To see me." He finishes.
She nods in agreement. She doesn't speak, because she is afraid she might cry. He isn't asking much. He has never asked much from her. It doesn't seem like such a huge promise to make. And she isn't getting out of there until she agrees to his terms. Besides, if she doesn't keep her word- well what's one more broken promise after everything else she's done to him?
"Bring cookies." He adds mischievously, winking at her.
She smiles at him then, a genuine, infectious smile, in spite of herself. He realises in that moment that he hasn't seen her smile like that for a long time, it suits her.
"You're pretty when you smile." He can't help it, the words just slip out.
"You've had too many pain killers." She tells him, as she pulls her hand away from his grasp.
He feels empty, alone, now that she is no longer touching him.
He wants to tell her he means it. He means everything he has said to her, means it with all his heart more than he has ever meant anything. But he knows enough to see that the intensity of such a claim would only frighten her away at this point.
"See you tomorrow?" He asks.
"Tomorrow." She confirms, as she turns and walks away.
He isn't entirely certain that he believes her.
Later that night, Pete relays the story to Artie via the Farnsworth, exactly as Myka had told it to him. He tells of the mysterious stranger planning to take some sort of time machine artifact from the Warehouse.
"Time machine?" Artie scoffs. "There is no time machine in the Warehouse."
"Are you sure?" Pete asks.
"I would know if we had a time machine, yes."
"So there is nothing like that in the Warehouse? Maybe this guy is just crazy then, just winding us up." Pete speculates.
"There are plenty of things similar to a time machine. There is more than one way to change the events of history, alter the course of the future, without technically traveling back and forward through time. It's rather complex." Artie's voice trails off. "You said that Myka told you this? Is she there with you?"
"She's back at the motel, with Claudia."
"With Claudia? I could have sworn I told her to get back to the Warehouse pronto!" Artie exclaims.
"Give her a break. It's been a rough day."
"Did Myka say anything to you about leaving the Warehouse?" Artie asks.
Pete isn't altogether surprised by Artie's question.
"She didn't specifically say it." But Pete had seen it in her eyes, that she wanted to run.
"She told me she was leaving. Effectively immediately. That she didn't want to be part of this anymore."
"She probably didn't really mean it." Pete tries to convince himself as much as Artie.
"She was rather convincing. She said it was because of the incident with the looking glass."
"It freaked her out, that's understandable, She'll get past it." Pete assures him.
"Not just that. It's because she doesn't trust me anymore, or you for that matter. Because we didn't even realise that 'Alice' had taken her place. She was pretty angry. And I can't say that I really blame her."
Pete is momentarily stunned into silence. He thought he had a fairly firm grasp over what was bothering Myka. That it was the thing with Sam, compounded by the hallucinations at the prison. And then his accidentally getting shot on top of everything. It hadn't occurred to him for a second that she was angry at him, that she felt betrayed by him, that he had hurt her so deeply.
"But it's a good thing she came to see you." Artie continues. "I'm counting on you to change her mind."
"Funny, isn't it?" Claudia remarks, breaking the awkward silence in the way too tiny motel room.
"What is?" Myka takes the bait, wondering what on earth Claudia could possibly find amusing about the situation. Anything seems better than the tense silence that has taken over the room.
"That he knew." Claudia announces cryptically.
"Who knew what?" Myka doesn't really want to know, but the silence is unnerving to say the least.
"That guy, the one you claim is trying to get into the Warehouse. Funny that he knew before I did that you weren't really one of us any more, that you didn't want to be. I mean, why else would he approach you and ask you to help him?" Claudia postulates.
The words slice through Myka's heart. The truth of it all, the horrible truth. She isn't really one of them anymore. And even this man, this stranger, knew it. Myka doesn't make a reply. What is there to say? She isn't going to win this argument. She would have been better to continue with the awkward silence.
"Am I wrong?" Claudia asks innocently. "You weren't ever planning on coming back, were you? Artie was all like 'I don't know where Myka is, stop asking questions.' And If I hadn't come looking for you at that diner, would we have ever seen you again?"
"No, Claudia, you're not wrong." Myka admits boldly. It's true, she had walked away. It's true, she had no intention of returning. No point in hiding it now.
This time, it's Claudia who doesn't have an answer. As if she had been expecting Myka to vehemently deny all of it. To protest that- yes- Claudia was wrong. This was all a horrid misunderstanding. To explain everything away and justify it all. To reassure her that, No, she isn't leaving the warehouse, because it's her family, her life, and she could never just walk away without so much as goodbye.
But Myka says nothing like that. She says nothing further at all. She only silently slips outside onto the balcony, leaving a bewildered Claudia standing in stunned silence.
"I was hoping this would happen." Mrs Frederic states cryptically as Artie informs her about the situation over the Farnsworth.
"You were hoping someone would launch an attack on the Warehouse to steal artifacts for their own agenda, wreaking possible destruction on the entire world?" Artie asks.
"I was hoping they would make contact with her." She explains.
Artie notices it as odd immediately, the way Mrs Frederic said 'her' and not 'one of them'. As in, specifically, Myka.
"What do you want us to do?" Artie wants to know.
"Advise Agent Bering that she is instructed to play along. Sbe is to make him believe she is on his side. It may just be the only way to catch them out."
"Them who?" Artie asks, but he knows better than to expect a straight answer.
Alone on the balcony in the stillness of the cold night, Myka reflects on Claudia's words. It hadn't occurred to her, until Claudia so kindly threw it in her face, to wonder why she had been picked by this man. Why not Pete? Leena? Claudia herself? Was it that obvious even to an outsider that she was the weakest link in the chain? The most likely to betray everything she worked so hard to achieve, everything she believed in? Had her reputation with Sam preceded her, making her out as someone who breaks the rules? Someone reckless and self serving? Someone likely to betray her team? She takes it one step further in her already messed up mind- and asks herself if that was why she had been recruited to the Warehouse in the first place? As some kind of bait in a trap? Or, she even goes so far to ask herself this- Was it a trap intended for her?