Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or any of its characters.
Author's Note: You guys are going to hate me. My friend, who has been reading this story since the beginning, hates me right now. Mostly because she didn't get to read the entire thing and she would probably have forgiven me by the end of the chapter, but still, you guys are going to hate me.
Author's Note 2: Outside of the major hate factor, this chapter is boring. It's mostly a filler. It has no Sam whatsoever and is written all in Dean's perspective. I just couldn't bring myself to write anything else tonight.
Author's Note 3: I should have the next chapter up later this week. School is officially out for the holidays, so I'm hoping to be able to write more. Maybe as a gift to you all, I will update two chapters this week instead of one.
Supernatural
"The War to End All Wars"
Chapter 14
It was raining steadily as boots crunched across the freshly dug dirt and wet grass. Six men decked out in crisp uniforms walked by the gathered, silent crowd, carrying a handsome, shiny dark mahogany coffin. They stopped by the new hole in the cemetery, with the headstone labeled Samuel J. Winchester in front of it.
"Samuel Winchester was a hero," the priest said, from his place in front of the crowd. "He was brave and unyielding in the face of danger, putting his friends and fellow comrades in front of himself, even when he was more gravely injured than they. He saved the lives of many, even those who he did not know. Samuel Winchester brought hope and innocence to the lives of those who knew him. It shall be a hard, sad life without him."
Dean, who was standing closest to the coffin beside an unfamiliar blonde girl, struggled his hardest to keep from letting the tears burning the back of his eyes slide down his face. Sam was dead, because of him. This entire funeral was his fault. The people here, the people who knew and loved Sam, shouldn't have to be going through this right now. Joshua, who was standing beside Dean with a small woman with frizzy brown hair, shouldn't have had to lose his best friend.
The priest made a cross in front of himself as he finished his eulogy. Tears were streaming down the faces of the crowd, including Bobby, who was near the back, Clayton and Jackson, who were standing close to Bobby, and Ryan and Smith, who were in the extreme back. Dean saw all of this, but could not bring himself to be surprised. He was too caught up in his own grief.
"Ashes to ashes and dust to dust, we now lay our brother, our friend, and our fellow comrade to rest," the priest said, closing his bible.
The coffin was lowered into the ground. Beside Dean, the girl let out a sob and buried her face into her hands. Joshua made a strangled sound from beside him, one that sounded like a cross between a cry and a curse. Dean spared him a swift glance and felt even guiltier as he saw his friend's face. The frizzy haired woman beside him was trying to comfort him, but Joshua looked as though he had just been hit by a train.
Dean couldn't fight the tears anymore. He let them begin to fall as Joshua moved forward with the frizzy haired woman to grab a handful of dirt to throw on Sam's coffin. Dean followed, trying to get himself under control as he did so.
"I'll miss you, Sammy," Joshua was whispering, tears cascading down his face all the while. "You're were the greatest friend one could ask for."
Dean felt another pang shoot through him as Joshua moved away from the grave. It was his turn to say good-bye to Sam, to say his last words ever to the man who saved his life. The tears started again, but this time, Dean made no effort to stop them.
"I'm so sorry, Sammy," he whispered. "I'm so sorry for everything that you went through. If it's the last thing I do, I will do everything I can to make it up to you."
With that, he grabbed a handful of dirt and let it slide through his fingers, scrubbing his face hard with his other hand.
He stood there, staring at the open grave as other people began to move around him. It still had yet to sink in; Sam was dead. Dean would never be able to tease Sam for being intelligent, never be teased by him for being an idiot, never be able to protect him, and never just talk to the kid about anything ever again.
It was too much for Dean; he sank to his knees, ignoring the stares of the crowd and the soaked ground that was staining his uniform pants. He ignored the fact that he would probably never be able to get back up without help, but at that moment, he didn't care. He didn't care if he was ever able to get back up again. He would prefer it if he could just give up and stay here for the rest of his life.
Dean lost track of time as he sat there and let the world pass by him. The funeral ended and the crowd left to go to the wake at the main headquarters. Dean wasn't in the mood for being around other people; he just wanted to be left alone.
Dean felt Joshua's eyes on him from across the graveyard and knew that the younger man was probably going to come over and talk to him. Dean wished he wouldn't; but at the same time, hoped he would. Anything would be better than dealing with the overwhelming sense of guilt that was threatening to push him over the edge.
Dean gazed at the now covered grave, trying desperately to cling onto the hope that maybe this was all some sort of sick dream, that he could just open his eyes and none of the past month would have happened.
"Dean?"
A gentle hand was placed on Dean's good shoulder to announce Joshua's presence. Dean barely acknowledged it.
"Don't," he said, closing his eyes. "Just don't."
"Dean," Joshua said. His voice was a little louder this time and he shook Dean's shoulder.
"Damn it, Joshua! Leave me alone!"
Dean's eyes flew open and he sat up with a start. Standing above him, Joshua chuckled tiredly. Dean turned to glare at him, wondering how he had gotten into one of the army issued tents from the cemetery and why the hell Joshua was laughing.
"Sam's awake," the younger man said, smiling. Dean stared at him in surprise; had his wish seriously been granted? Had the horrific sight of Sam's funeral truly been a dream?
"Really?" Dean asked, yawning hugely.
"He's asking for you," Joshua said, rubbing his eyes. "And I need to get some sleep."
"How is he?" Dean asked, somewhat dreading the answer. He wanted to make sure Sam was okay, but at the same time, he didn't want to know if Sam was about to bite it.
"He'll make it," Joshua said, smiling again. "The doctors are pretty certain they got all of the shrapnel this time around and there won't be anything else. They also managed to bring the fever down, which is good."
"That's great," Dean said, sighing as he got off of the cot and stretched. "I swear, if that kid gets hurt or nearly killed ever again, I think I'm going to lock him in a padded cell and throw away the key."
"He'll find a way to get out of it," Joshua said, smirking as he yanked off his boots. "He's the great Sammy Winchester. There's nothing stopping him."
Dean laughed at that.
"When did the bombs stop?" he asked, noticing how quiet it was. When he had gone to sleep, the Army had been going at it and showed no signs of stopping. Dean wondered just how long he had slept.
"About an hour ago, much to everyone's relief," Joshua said, flopping on the cot. "You were out of it for close to three hours. Must have been some strong painkillers Nurse Abel gave you."
"Yeah, I guess they were a little strong," Dean said, grabbing his boots from where he had kicked them off three hours before.
Dean had ended up reinjuring his collar bone when one of the bombs had gone off. He had been helping the doctors to get Sam to the OR when one of the doors he had been holding had come down on top of him. Somehow, he escaped mostly unscathed, except for his collarbone, which had to be reset. Dean was pretty certain his doctor was about ready to kill him for not taking it easy.
"As long as they helped," Joshua murmured, his eyes already closing. "Try not to get yourself killed on the walk across the compound, okay? Sam might just murder me for that."
"I'll try," Dean said sarcastically, wincing slightly as he shoved his arm into its sling. "Sleep well, Joshua."
Joshua made a noise that sounded like a combination of a snort and a snore before Dean walked out of the tent and headed towards post-op.
And yes, the funeral was a dream. Sam is