A/N: Holy crap, guys. Sorry for my absence, but this chapter was hard to get out. Motivation from a certain someone (you know who you are :D) made me grind this chapter out and decide that even if I didn't like it, which I don't, I needed to get something out. So here is this crap-tastic chapter full of fuzzy details and bad grammer. And by the way, if one of you hunts me down and murders me in my sleep, I DON'T EVEN CARE. If you feel you need to, go right on ahead.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

I woke up in Altaïr's arms, later in the morning than he would have liked, I'm sure. I laid there with my eyes closed, just relaxing. Thankfully, I hadn't had any nightmares about the men I had killed. I think Altaïr kept them at bay.

He shifted beside me on top of the cushions we had fallen asleep on, and I knew he was waking up. Al Mualim never had gotten us separate rooms; maybe he had forgotten. But I was partly grateful, because I got better about knowing when he was awake and when he was truly asleep and not faking it.

He mumbled something and rolled over onto his back. He often slept facing the door in whatever room we were in, an unconscious habit that had saved both our lives before. He was usually a light sleeper, waking at the slightest noises.

I laid there, and watched as Fahad came out of his room behind the counter, walked into the middle of the room, and stretched his arms high over his head. He glanced in the room, and I smiled at him. He returned the smile and went to make breakfast.

Altaïr woke up slowly. I think he was trying to prolong his moment of comfort. He stretched languidly, keeping his eyes tightly shut against the light. I sat up and rubbed my eyes before attempting to run a hand through my hair.

I usually kept it in a low ponytail, out of the way, but sometime last night it had come undone, and was severely tangled. I sighed before smoothing it down and re-tying it without brushing it. That would have to wait for later.

Altaïr sat up beside me. He hid his eyes behind his right hand, but parted his fingers to peer out at me. I smiled at him, and he grinned back. I stood up and stretched, Altaïr following suit a moment later.

He looked towards the sky once his eyes became accustomed to the light, and sighed.

"We're late, right?" I asked him. He smiled down at me, and gave me a small kiss before wandering into the other room.

I took a moment to re adjust the bandages that I wrapped tightly around my breasts to make me look more like a man. After careful observation from rooftops of how men walked and acted, and after talking with Altaïr and Malik a bit, I was quite successful in tricking people into thinking I was male.

Malik and I were good friends now, but I didn't hold the same bond with him that he shared with Altaïr. I didn't mind much. Malik was a very kind person, and was cheery most of the time. Kadar and I didn't talk much, but we weren't enemies.

I entered into the other room just as Fahad was bringing out our breakfast. Bread and cheese, the usual. But I didn't mind, because I was famished. While we ate, we discussed what we would need for our trip back to Masyaf; plenty of food, water and other things. The journey from Damascus had taken only a day, whereas the trip from Acre to Masyaf would take around three.

Altaïr left to get supplies, leaving me at the bureau with Fahad. We sat in comfortable silence for a while before Fahad spoke.

"Are you alright, dear?" Fahad asked gently. My gaze lifted from the floor to his face, and I nodded.

"Why do you ask?" I questioned.

"Because I know from experience that the first kill is the hardest," he said quietly. Up until this point, I hadn't thought about that much. I tried to forget it, and was successful until he brought it up.

"I'm okay, for now," I told him, ending the conversation. I sat around trying to keep my mind off of yesterday's events. After about an hour, Altaïr dropped back through the hole in the roof. I greeted him with a smile as he walked in the room, and he nodded in return.

"Are we leaving?" I asked him. He nodded again.

"Finally!" Fahad said with a smile. "The Beast is leaving!"

We laughed for a moment, and I couldn't help but notice that Altaïr's laugh was forced. I wondered why he was so uptight. He had seemed fine this morning. I gave him a questioning look, but he just shook his head: Later. I nodded once.

After we said goodbye to Fahad, Altaïr and I exited through the hole in the lattice work in the next room, and took off across the city towards the main gate. When the gate was in sight, Altaïr motioned for a stop.

I gazed towards the gate, noticing the bloody crosses of the Templars. There were many more than there were when we had arrived.

"As you have noticed, there are more Templars stationed at the gate. We need to be careful when leaving." His voice was cold and hard, just like his eyes were when he looked at me. I wondered why he was so distant again, why his wall was back up.

I turned my attention to the streets, finding what I was looking for, and lowered myself into the streets. I didn't know if Altaïr was following me, but I hoped he had seen what I had, and was following. I made my way over to the group of scholars I had spotted, giving them an imperceptible nod. The lead scholar gave me a serene smile, and I clasped my hands together, matching their unhurried pace towards the gate.

Eventually we made it outside, and I nodded at the scholars again, exiting from their group. I approached the stable we had boarded our horses at when we first came here, and gathered both of our horses. I led them around for a few minutes, waiting for Altaïr.

Without warning, he showed up behind me and grabbed his horse's reigns. Immediately, he walked away from me and mounted his white stallion. I bit back my questions, mounting my own mahogany brown horse.

We took off at a trot, heading towards Masyaf. We rode for hours before I attempted to speak to him.

"Altaïr, what's wrong?" I asked him loud enough so that he could hear me over the horses. His eyes flashed to mine for a second before he looked away over the countryside. I nudged my horse closer to his, and asked again. It was a while before he spoke.

"Are you happy, Zyra? Are you happy doing this?" I told him I was, and it was not entirely a lie. Being a part of the Brotherhood, learning their ways, had given me a freedom that no one else could have given me. I no longer felt weak and helpless, but strong and empowered.

"I don't want you to get hurt, Zyra," he said then, looking over at me. His eyes were so full of sadness that my heart wrenched at the sight. "I brought you into this, and you know that I would give anything to protect you, but I don't think I could live with myself if you were to get hurt, because it would be my fault."

"Altaïr, no. It wouldn't be your fault," I told him. He shook his head.

"It would be my fault, because I didn't even ask you what you wanted. And neither did Al Mualim. You never had the choice."

I saw his logic, the reason why he was so sad, and it was true. I hadn't had a choice about this, but if I had, I would have said yes anyway. I told him that, but he didn't say anything else.

I watched the sky darken as we rode towards Masyaf. We would be making camp soon, as nights in the desert could get very cold. After another hour, the sun was touching the horizon, and Altaïr pulled off to the side of the path and dismounted.

We set up camp. I made the fire while Altaïr pitched the tent. We worked in silence. When we finished, Altaïr got a few strips of dried meat from one of the saddle bags and handed one to me.

I ate quickly, surprised at my hunger. When I finished, I sat staring into the fire, lost in my own world. I didn't notice Altaïr stand and make his way behind me until he sat down again directly behind me.

I hadn't noticed that I was shivering until I felt how warm he was. His arms snaked around my waist and dragged me backwards until I was practically sitting in his lap, his arms wrapped around me, and his chin resting on my shoulder.

I felt my eyelids begin to droop as his warmth surrounded me, but forced my eyes to remain open. I felt him chuckle as I stifled a yawn with the back of my hand, trying to play it off as a stretch.

He picked me up and carried me into the tent, laying me down gently before settling beside me. I mumbled a rushed goodnight to him, and fell asleep.

O.O

I lay there for a while, just watching her sleep. Her face was peaceful and serene; a difference from what it had been during the day. I knew that she was worried about me, but I couldn't find the right words to explain why I felt the way I did. I had tried, while we were sitting at the fire, but it didn't sound right to me. I hoped she would understand.

I brushed a loose strand of hair from her face and let my hand linger on the silky skin. She was a beautiful woman on the outside, and had a beautiful personality also. It was her character that drew me in, like a moth to a flame.

She shifted to a more comfortable position, and I let myself sleep.