Derek had tried to get his mind off of Meredith for the time being, knowing that she didn't want to speak to him because of Addison. He couldn't blame her, Addison was an intimidating person; the crimson hair, perfect clothing and confidence could crush anyone in sight. Guys were afraid to ask her out at times because of it. She wouldn't rest once she knew what she wanted, Derek knew that. Although she had relocated to Seattle with her family as a freshman, she still clung to the idea that she and Derek would be together.

She was determined and headstrong.

But Meredith didn't deserve the crap that was being dished out to her in heaping amounts. Ten out going calls to Meredith Cell and no incoming. He had left ten voice mails, all apologetic but he decided that she probably did not even listen to them. Personally, he hated drama too and he understood where she came from, he just wished he could change her mind. He had to make this right; for his sake and for hers as well. Derek knew exactly where he had to go and what he had to do to make it right. He knew he was in the right spot as he pulled onto the circular gravel driveway that was the envy of all the neighbors. A place where two last names was a must, it was Addison's house. Derek pulled into the parking spaces, his vintage car fitting in to the environment around him; three Merecedes in a row where there; Addison's C300, her father's S65 AMG and her mother's G55 AMG, all in matching black paint jobs. It was gaudy, but also somehow fitting of her family. The house was huge, a product of having successful parents; her father was the foremost neonatal surgeon in the country. She was bred for success. Derek was not intimidated though, he had grown accustomed Addison and her antics and he was used to them. She had crossed the line this time.

Derek walked up to the large set of thick mahogany doors that flanked the entrance to the house. It was morning, not too early so it was safe to assume that she was up, it was after all summer. He didn't want to miss out on verbally reprimanding her because of the hour, he was sure she would be there. Derek knocked, power behind his knuckles as he heard the door unlock slowly moments later. Stay calm, he ordered himself as he looked at Addison in the doorway.

"Derek! What are you doing here?" Addison asked innocently as she closed the door behind her, standing on the veranda with Derek. She was beautiful, a blind man could not deny that fact, but Derek didn't find her attractive to him in this moment, she was beautiful and smart he was sure, but that was something she didn't flaunt. The girls who worshipped her in high school didn't know she had a 4.2 gpa, because the pretty girls didn't have to be smart. She played along, knowing full well that they weren't the competition in academics, what they thought on that front didn't matter. She was standing there in a pale yellow dress and bronze sling back heels, by some Italian designer he assumed. She was a fan of labels, even for people, not just for her clothes.

Addison smiled, "What is it?"
Derek's jaw tightened, "I need to talk to you…now," he said, remaining as calm as he could.

Addison's eyes flickered for a moment, paranoia he guessed, but her moment of doubt was short lived, "About what?" she asked.

"Meredith."

Addison looked confused, she's really talented at the b.s. he thought. "Who?" she asked, looking genuinely confused.

Derek pinched the bridge of his nose, "Don't do that Addison, you're a smart girl. You know what you did. "
Addison rolled her eyes.

"Why'd you do it?"
" Derek, she's a freshman", Addison said, crossing her arms. As if that means anything, Derek thought. What does that mean?

"No Addison, she's human. She has feelings, what's wrong with you? Do you not care about anyone?"

Addison shook her head in disbelief. "Since when do you defend her?", she asked, placing a hand on her hip.

"Since...since I met her", he replied slowly, a small smile coming to his face as he thought of her.

Addison looked as though she was about to gag, "Der, she doesn't belong in our world", she said as she stroked Derek's arm.

Derek pulled away, "She belongs in mine, if you can't accept that, we can't be friends. Period."

"What's gotten into you Derek? You don't even know anything about her? How do you know she's not using you?"

"Using me? What the hell does that mean?"

Addison laughed, "She's a freshman, silly. You're the one way ticket to popularity. Dating Derek Shepherd guarantees that."

Derek looked appalled, "First off, I'm not dating her," yet, he thought, "second of all, she's not interested in that superficial crap, you are. In the interest of…I don't know…our friendship, you will be nice to her."

Addison sighed looking at the seriousness of Derek's face. "I'll try", she said, knowing she didn't want to lose Derek as a friend.

"Try hard."
"Fine," Addison said somewhat defeated.

Derek nodded, turning to walk away, stopping after a few steps. Addison stared at his back, "One more thing, don't ever talk to her that way, don't even talk about her," he said without turning around.
Addison looked taken back as Derek rushed back to his car, slamming his car door as he skidded away, a few rocks landing in the grass of the lawn as Addison stood there, motionless on the porch. Not quite sure what had happened. It was in that moment that she knew that Meredith meant more to him then she ever would, her smile faded as she headed back inside the palatial house.

The sun and the moon
An ocean of air
So many voices
But nothing is there
The ghost of you asking me why
Why did I leave

:::

Meredith and Cristina decided on smoothies to start their day, agreeing that they would eat a huge lunch later. They decided that Meredith needed something cathartic and so they headed the a place that guaranteed stress relief, it was a place where they could color their own ceramics. Upon first look, it was not a place that suited them; very bright and cheerful inside and out, it was the stark contrast of their personalities but it made them feel good.

Meredith had picked out a pot to paint, while Cristina picked a plate; the size of their ceramics a reflection of their stressed. Cristina took a pencil and sketched an elaborate design onto it as Meredith brought over bottles of paint and brushes to the table they sat at. Meredith sighed as she sat down across from Cristina, watching as she sketched an intricate flower design that spanned the entire plate she had picked out.

"Nice," Meredith said.

"It's for my mom," she said jokingly, "she hates black, but loves flowers," she said as she grabbed the black paint and a thing brush, outlining her painting in black. Meredith laughed, this is cathartic she thought.

Cristina looked at Meredith's choice, "A pot?" she asked.

Meredith shrugged as she picked it up, it was rounded like a fish bowl almost. "Or a fat vase? I don't know. It just has a lot of workable space."

Cristina nodded as she continued to focus on her design. Meredith squeezed yellow paint onto a paper plate and began painting the entire pot with it, not knowing what the end result was going to look like.

"So, you decided what you're going to do about lover boy?" Cristina asked, too engrossed in her painting to look up. She painted careful and precise lines while Meredith haphazardly plastered on yellow paint to her pot, getting more on her hands then on her pot.

Meredith shrugged, "Not sure. Not sure if it's worth the drama."

"You like being around him?"

"Yeah. But I barely know him. Maybe I'm wrong about him and he's a complete asshole." I only wish, she thought, thinking it would be much easier to hate him if he were.

"He was nice to you when you first met him, first impressions are usually right," Cristina said as she dabbed her brush back into the black paint, taking a chance to look at Meredith's creation and shaking her head at it. It looked like a young child's project but she knew it would turn out well. Every time they came here, Meredith's piece would start out looking dangerously childish but end up beautiful in the end.

Meredith sighed, "Yeah. I should just stop caring," she said half joking.

"About him?"

"About everything. School, my mom, him, life", she added jokingly.

"That won't last."

Meredith nodded as she added another layer of yellow paint to her creation. "I don't think so either", she said as she continued to paint. They relaxed into their pieces, Cristina precise as ever and Meredith free spiritedly painting her piece. They stopped talking about Derek, at Meredith's request and the rest of the conversations were void of him. It felt nice to be able to forget. Meredith was grateful to Cristina for that.

When my insides are wracked with anxiety.
You have the touch that will quiet me.
You lift my spirit. You melt the ice.
When I need inspiration, when I need advice.

:::::

Derek needed to vent his frustrations and get out his anger on something. He was a swimmer at heart but decided to go the batting cages, surely whacking a few baseballs with a metal bat and a force that could kill someone would help, or so he thought. He hit them aimlessly and effortlessly, anyone could have mistaken him for a member of a baseball team. As a ball came at him again, he swung hard...stepping into it and sending it flying against the gate. He hit the stop button with the end of the bat and took off his helmet, fixing his hair as he ran his hand through it.
"Don't worry about, maybe a little more lip gloss" he heard behind him in a familiar voice, it was Mark his best friend on the outside of the fence, looking in.

Derek looked haggered and fatigued, "Hey."

Mark raised his eyebrows, "Angry?" he asked.
"No," Derek lied.

Mark opened the gate and grabbed the bat, examining it in his hands, "Well the dent marks on the bat say otherwise, you know they'll make you pay for it," he said.

Derek grabbed it back defensively, running his fingers along the dent marks he had made, "I bought it today, thought I'd kill it."

"Well mission accomplished. Bad day?" he asked, truly interested. Derek was his best friend, Derek was his brother.

"Kind of", Derek conceding, giving in.
Mark smiled a cocky smile, "If i were you i wouldn't be pissed."

"Why's that?" that he asked as he took his helmet and set it on the ground, dropping the bat next to it as he leaned against the fence.

"Because, I heard you're trying a freshman. Bold, a little young, I mean I prefer sophomores..."

"What?" Derek asked, cutting him off.

"Meredith Grey? Or do you not even know her name?"

How the hell does he know her name, "She's a friend."

Mark nodded, "Well, I'm not one for gossip, but that's not what Addison is telling everyone."

I underestimated Addy. God she's conniving. Derek groaned, "How many people think that way?"
"I heard it from Addison...didn't believe her though. It didn't sound like you... Must be jealousy, you know she's always had a thing for you man. She's hot...never understood why you didn't go for her- red heads are fiery", he added with a mischievous smile....grabbing the bat and helmet, "let me show you how this is done", he told Derek, motioning for him to get out of the cage.

Derek nodded as he stepped out of the cage, "I have to tell Meredith", he mumbled.
"Who cares if she's just a fling?" Mark asked as he put the helmet on.
"Meredith is not a fling!" he almost yelled as Mark stepped into position to hit the ball
Mark turned back to look at Derek, surprised, "Dude, I've never heard you this worked up over a girl", he said as the ball came towards him, slamming into it with the bat so hard that it got stuck between the chain links on the other side, "now, that's how you do it Derek", he said confidently. "You should use that anger with the ball, someday you might be as good as me", Mark joked as he hit another ball, harder then the first.

And any time you feel the pain, hey, Jude, refrain
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders
Well don't you know that its a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder