Chapter Fourteen

It was a long drive back to Summer Bay. Joey had considered flying but there was something about her connection to Ruby that made her want to keep things private. They still had a couple of letters to read but they were spacing them out. Getting to the last line would feel like they had lost Charlie again somehow.

Stopping halfway through their journey, the two women revived themselves with food and coffee.

"Would you like to read one of the letters while we're here?" Joey asked.

"What if we cry?" Ruby asked in mild horror.

Joey laughed. They both knew they would cry lots but in their pilgrimage to obtain closure on the woman they both loved so much, it didn't seem to matter.

"Here's goes nothing," Joey ventured, taking the second to last letter out of her bag.

Joey, you would be so ashamed of me. I am so ashamed of myself. The best romantic decision I ever made was being with you. Before and after, it's just been a total mess.

Today, I gave into lust and slept with a man called Darryl Braxton. He's not only a River Boy but the leader of that terrible gang. He's everything I hate, everything I stand against. I'm a cop and he's a criminal, although he is proving difficult to catch. I don't know what I'm meant to do now.

Joey paused.

"Are you okay reading about this?" Ruby asked worriedly.

"Yeah," Joey said, taking a breath. "I can't be upset at her being with other people. I'm the one who didn't come home. I've had relationships the same as she has…"

Picking the letter back up, she continued to read.

I guess it all started a few weeks ago. There was some sort of commotion down at the Surf Club and I ended up arresting him when, while I was warning him, he kissed me. I was so offended, so horrified. Here was this man, a criminal that I'd been trying to catch out for ages, kissing me. And I enjoyed it.

I felt a tingle inside me like I haven't felt since the last time you kissed me. It was met with revulsion and shame so it wasn't the same but it was still intense. Anyway, I arrested him and we've spent a little while winding each other up.

It doesn't help that Ruby has fallen head over heels in love with his youngest brother, Casey, who I am still not sure about.

Joey glanced up at Ruby who looked sad.

"I've barely spoken to him since she died," the teenager admitted. "He didn't come to the city with me after the funeral because Brax needed him. And I hate Brax and everything he represents. So I haven't been able to cope with being around Casey. I haven't been able to cope with anyone really. Until I came to see you."

Joey smiled sadly at her, squeezing her hand gently across the table.

Brax is very attractive and despite his reputation, I do think there is some good in him. You couldn't get two people so badly suited to each other but I just keep finding I can't stay away from him. It's driving me crazy and I guess that's why I did it. I thought if I slept with him once then I could get him out of my system somehow.

It didn't work and I have no idea where to turn next. He's the leader of a gang and I've arrested him, his brothers and his mates countless times. None of this makes sense and I'm so horrified to realise I'm interested in someone like that. But I am.

I honestly didn't think I could ever feel like this again. You were the first person I ever loved and I still love you with everything I am. I'm certainly not in love with Brax but I can feel that tremble of connection with him that I had with you. Part of me doesn't want to ignore that but part of me knows it would never work.

I love you so much, Joey. Whatever happens now and whatever good or bad choices I make, you will always have my heart.

All my love forever,

Charlie x

Next time… Joey and Ruby read Charlie's final letter…