This is a shift day [see above]. There was another upload this morning: Back In Action.

"Steps 16-36, Time Is On Your Side"

14. Step Twenty-Nine, Remember Who You Are

Brittany had been the one to invite her over, saying it had been too long since they'd had an evening of hanging out just the two of them the way they used to. Santana had said yes, no need to think about it too hard, though 'the way they used to' only brought back memories that got her caught thinking about other things… She was calling it a work in progress, just like her…

Waking up with a splitting headache of a hangover on Kurt's couch had been… maybe not so much a wakeup call, but close. It wasn't so much about finding out certain things, it was about accepting them, and she was doing that, even if it took a while. She knew, if she only settled one thing it would be that she loved Brittany, not just as a friend, a close friend, best friend… She loved her the way you loved someone you could see being part of your whole life, just… she loved her, and it wasn't a passing thing, it was who she was, where she was happiest.

On Friday afternoon she had arrived at the Pierce house to find it in a rush of activity oddly reminiscent of that scene in Home Alone where everyone was running around trying to get ready. Mr. & Mrs. Pierce and Melinda were running around, barely noticing her arrival. Santana had gone up to Brittany's room to find her sitting on the ground in front of her closet, digging through boxes.

"What's going on?" she asked the blonde, who looked up and smiled when she saw her.

"What?" She pointed back out the door. "Oh, they're going out of town."

"I didn't know…"

"They didn't know either. They're going to see my grandmother," she got back to digging through the boxes. Santana approached.

"What are you looking for?" she asked, and Brittany paused. "You don't remember anymore, do you?" she guessed, and the blonde sighed. "Need a hand up?" Brittany tried to go at it on her own; it didn't go too well, so Santana reached to help her. She gave one final tug that brought them standing face to face, so much Santana could feel the belly bumping into her. She could smell her, and by the scents wafting away from her, she had to think she'd just showered earlier that day. It took a moment before she could let her go.

Knowing what she knew now, it wasn't enough. As much as she wished it could be, it wasn't. She wished she could tell her everything, the way she used to be able to, about most things, but all she would do would be to put knowledge in Brittany's head which could make some things happen too fast or not right, or… She still had steps to take, by herself or with her, or…

"So… what do you want to do?" Santana asked her as they went downstairs to see her sister and parents off. Brittany thought for a moment.

"I can show you how to knit, too?" she suggested and Santana chuckled.

"I don't think it's really my thing," she simply stated and Brittany didn't question it. "How about we just see what's on TV?"

"Okay," Brittany had smiled. They had called in to order dinner and had spent the wait picking through DVDs to find some movies to watch, once they'd figured out there was nothing to hold their interest on television. Once the food had arrived, they had settled in front of the television. The way Brittany reclined, her belly, which was already getting bigger and bigger as she neared being seven months along, was commanding in its size. As ever, that little boy growing inside her was hard to ignore.

Whatever she still had to resolve, she knew it needed to be done, just… before. That was to say all the doubts, the worries, they had to be gone if she was going to… Kurt had already extended a place for her in their whole family dynamic, even if it was something she kept to herself, and up to then she was still holding to the side, with them but not with them… It was more complicated than how Kurt could see it, she knew. If and when she would become a part of them, then either way some things had to happen, all before she could 'transition,' as part of that family. She owed it to the boy, to Brittany… even to Kurt. Once she took the leap, she was going to be all in, no backing away.

"I miss Glee Club," Brittany stated all of a sudden, and Santana looked to her. "Don't you?"

"I… yes… I guess I do," she admitted.

"I just miss dancing," Brittany shrugged.

"Well, that I can arrange," Santana got up, putting her dinner aside and dusting her hands off. Brittany watched her go, mid-bite, confused.

"Where are you going?" In response, Santana reached to take the blonde's plate away, much to her disappointment, seeing the food go away. But then when she held her hands out to help her up, Brittany smiled, understanding now. "What about music?" Santana just brought her close, putting her arms at her back, and Brittany's arms came around her neck on reflex.

"Don't need it," she got her swaying, and they were dancing, slowly, softly. "There, see?"

"That's good," Brittany agreed, smiling. "What if we want to do something more… fast, or…"

"Nothing too strenuous there, prego," Santana teased, smirking at the look on Brittany's face. Still they just kept as they were, with Santana throwing in a cautious spin here and there to humor her. When Brittany had laid her head on her shoulder, Santana's breath caught in her throat, but then they carried on, swaying, and turning… She could feel the flutter of the baby moving against her own stomach, and her eyes were stinging.

"Think he likes it…" she heard Brittany's voice near her ear.

"Well if any kid would appreciate dance from the womb it'd be yours," Santana pointed out, and she had no idea why her eyes had brimmed with tears just now.

"Think he likes you…" Brittany amended, "I know he does." Santana was just trying to stop herself crying while Brittany couldn't see her face, or… "What's wrong?"

"What?" Santana hesitated, off guard.

"Why are you crying?" Brittany asked, as they continued dancing.

"I'm not…"

"Yeah you are," Brittany insisted, pulling back, and then her fingers were delicately brushing tears away and Santana closed her eyes in defeat. "Talk to me," she begged.

"I'm trying," her voice wavered now. "I've been trying, you have no idea."

"I'm right here, okay?" Brittany promised, leaning and placing a kiss at the side of her head, just by her eye, and Santana inhaled, still holding to her. Some day she would find her way, she believed that now, believed it because of her. Love could be patient, or it wouldn't be love, she believed that, too.

TO BE CONTINUED (TOMORROW)