Iris and Evie were allowed to visit Two-Bit, even Dally and Steve, but not me.

Ms. Mathews came up from Tulsa to be there for Two-Bit. She could see Two-Bit, Evie and Iris could see Two-Bit…

I couldn't see the man I loved.

It killed me every time they would come back to tell me about his condition, what he says about me, etc.

"All we really can get from him," Iris came back to my room one night, "is that you were knocked down and he was gagged. He pulled out his switch, tried to stab them, but they used it against him and pulled him into the truck. He says he awoke in the hospital."

Two-Bit's assaulted and I can't see him?

Sometimes I would sit up in my bed, grab a pillow and scream into it. I couldn't stand not being there for him. I couldn't stand not supporting him through everything. I couldn't stand not knowing what's to come next.

I would stay up every night crying. Only reason the hospital kept me there was because I had a blow to the head, and "head injuries aren't to be ignored or misconstrued."

However, on the fourth night of my stay I was allowed to leave, but I didn't want to.

Two-Bit was still there.

I couldn't leave him.

By the fifth day I didn't have a choice, and I stayed the night at the Curtis', refusing to go back to my house without Two-Bit.

Why would someone assault us? I couldn't figure it out. Why would someone do this to us? Why take Two-Bit and not me? Did they try to take me but Two-Bit fought them off? What happened in the truck? What happened while I was out?

Darry came home early one day, "Sweet? Iris?"

"Iris took the kids to the park," I called from the kitchen, "and I'm making you guys fried chicken tonight."

Darry walked into the kitchen. I turned to him, a smile on his face, but I could see slight pity.

I felt offended, "What?"

He bit his bottom lip, sighed, and said, "Sweet, this isn't fair."

"I know it's not," I burst, "I know."

There was a tense pause before I placed the bowl I had in my hands down and proceeded to rant, "I know it's not fair, Darrel. I know! Two-Bit's the fucking love of my life and I can't see him because I happen to be a man! It kills me, kills me to not be there to hold his hand, to comfort him, to let him know it's all going to be okay! Goddamn it, Darry, I'm just as scared as he is and I-"

My eyes began to burn as the tears I had been fighting back finally rushed through, Darry hugging me as I crouched to my knees.

He had nothing to say, and nor did I.

Once my tears were finished I remained in his grasp. It felt so nice to be in someone's warm arms again.

At the same time, though, I worried that Darrel might think I'm coming onto him if I stayed long enough. I feared if someone caught him holding me they'd think he'd be gay…

But knowing Darry that kind of stuff would be easily taken care of.

I looked up at him, a slight smile on his face.

"Let's go for a walk," he said after a brief pause, "Some air will do you some good."

He was right. I had been spending a lot of time inside.

Putting on my shoes he led me out, the air brisk but rather soothing, somewhat like the pain Steve would put me through…

I began thinking a lot about that as we walked in silence. I began thinking about what would've happened when Two-Bit came back if I hadn't slept with Steve. I questioned if the very action of not having sex with him would've still led to me asking Two-Bit to walk with me.

I looked over at Darry and he was admiring the trees as we walked, smiling contently and calm as ever.

"I'm just angry, Darry," I said softly, "I didn't mean what I said about Pony and-"

"Yes you did."

I stopped walking and he did too. He continued to explain, "You meant it. You may not have truly been talking about Ponyboy and Cherry," he looked at me, "but you still meant it."

Was it that obvious that I had really been talking about me, Steve, and Two-Bit?

Darry made a light grin and began to walk again, "So, how's the bakery?"

I caught up with him, "We've considered lowering our prices."

"Why?" Darry caught a falling leaf.

"It's too expensive. I mean, I know people seem to worship my baking, but we're too pricy." It was true.

He shrugged, "Maybe pricy's good. Maybe it shows just how worth it they are."

I smiled, "Maybe you're right. You know, I have al-"

"Yo, faggot!"

I froze in my tracks.

I almost stopped breathing.

My god…

Did they attack Two-Bit?

I expected Darry to clock them, and clock them good, but he just patted my back and kept on walking, somewhat dragging me with him.

"Faggot!" they called again, "Yo, dick-sucker!"

I looked up at Darry nervously, but he was just looking ahead, walking in the same direction, and a grin still on his face.

"Come over here and show me why you fuck guys, faggot!" there was more than one of them, "Yo, I'm talking to you!"

I could hear someone walking up closer behind us, but before they could get too close Darry turned around and punched him square in the jaw.

"Leave us alone, prick," Darry firmly demanded, "Got it?"

Darry led me away once again, but that guy would not give up, "Bet you're protecting him 'cause you fuck him…don't you?"

Darry gritted his teeth, but kept walking, one of them grabbing me from behind, Darry getting in a fight with the other three.

I screamed and tried to bite my attacker's hand, but all he did was hold me back and make me watch the fight between Darry and the others.

They got him cornered pretty quick, punching him uncontrollably and the man behind me holding a knife to my throat.

"You fucking fag," he grunted, "Let's see how pretty you are to your boyfriend after my knife's got ya…"

I screamed as loud as I could, but the sound of sirens frightened our assaulters and muffled my scream.

"Damn." The guy behind me let go of me and jumped into a car, calling for the others to get in. Instead, the three guys pushed Darry into the street, a car making its way in his direction…

They hopped in their car and rode off just as the vehicle hit him.

"Darrel!" I cried. I ran to him, "Darry!"

A woman came rushing toward us, "My god-"

"Call 911!" I desperately shouted, practically ignoring the fact that she was right next to me.

The police car arrived and alerted the hospital faster than she could, Darry's pulse fading by the minute.

No. I told myself. Things like this don't happen…

They rushed him off in the ambulance, me calling to tell Iris and Evie. I got a ride from the policemen, anxiously awaiting the fate of my friend.

My relationship with Two-Bit has called all this unhappiness, all this pain…

My friends were getting beaten, I can't be faithful, my boyfriend gets assaulted, people don't talk to us…

At times I wondered if our relationship was even worth it.

We got to the hospital and Darry was rushed inside, Iris running next to the gurney. A hand patted my shoulder, me turning to see Ms. Mathews.

There were no words, just a hug.

It was all I needed.

I could visit Darry, but I didn't want to. Who knows what people would do after what happened earlier?

However, I couldn't go back to work. Myrna even insisted I don't.

"You've been assaulted, SweetTooth!" she explained on the phone, "No way you're coming back to work today."

I believed work would've gotten my mind off the fact that I couldn't see my boyfriend. The fact that I practically was the very reason all of this happened.

I spent the next two days tending to Darry's children, his wife spending all her time by his bedside.

I can't see Two-Bit but she can see Darry.

Tears came to my eyes whenever I'd think about it. It wasn't fair and it wasn't right in any way; my love for Two-Bit was just as strong as Iris's love for Darrel.

Then again, could this be my punishment? Could this have been my punishment for not appreciating Two-Bit enough, now the possibility that he may die?

God wouldn't let that happen…

Would he?

Later that week I was just getting over the feeling of helplessness when Trevor called to tell me that he had met Dallas.

"He's so frican awesome, man!" he told me, "He came in 'cause he found out I had a record and wanted to know what for. Turns out we were in the slammer for the same thing: The sticky fingers. We goin' out for drinks later!"

I knew Dallas, and I never thought he'd try to make a friend that quick.

"He jumped me in a sense," Dally explained when I got him on the phone not long after Trevor hung up, "We found out we had records, we hit it off pretty well, and he wanted to go out.

"I don't feel good about this, Sweet. I mean, he's a kid-"

"He's two years younger than you, Dally," I scoffed, "Don't worry about it. Trevor is great."

He sighed, " 'pose you're right, Sweet. I'll go get drinks with 'im."

So that's where it was: Dally and Trevor were getting to know each other, Evie and Steve were together, Iris could visit Darry, and I couldn't see Two-Bit.

I accepted my defeat and went to visit Darry.

On my way there, though, I tried to figure out what had held me back. Was it the punch? Did it have to do with what I did with Steve? Did it have anything to do with these past few weeks?

I saw Darry in the wheelchair and decided to forget all about it.

He seemed rather cheery for a man whose brother's missing, friends assaulted, and the possibility of never walking again.

Nevertheless I smiled along with him.

"Hey, Darry." I walked into the room.

He turned to me, "Hello, Sweet."

I remembered the last time we were in a hospital room together. He sobbed at my bedside, begging for forgiveness, and I did just as he asked: I forgave him.

I felt obligated to kiss his feet and cry about how my relationship with Two-Bit got him assaulted and almost killed. I wanted to tell him I didn't mean to punch him, that I was just taking everything that was going on out on him.

He smiled saying gently, "Why don't you have a seat?"

He seemed to have been thinking all the same thoughts.

Walking fully into the room I didn't wish to sit, but I did wish to get a good look at him.

"So how you doing?" I placed my hand on the counter next to him, leaning on it.

"I'll be fine," he shrugged, "It feels weird without someone else being here, but Iris has to take care of the kids and everyone else has lives of their own…" he picked up his water, "How about Two-Bit?"

"From what I've heard he's fine." I responded, and he knew what I meant.

There was a pause in the air. It felt like one of those silences that needed to be broken, and I knew how to break it.

"Darry…" I wanted to look down at my shoes and forget that I was here. I felt, as I have for the past two weeks, the strongest surge of guilt I ever have, "You defended me. You stood up for me and you got hurt," I began to remember what happened when he ran to me when I was in the hospital, "You almost died…"

Darry swallowed, "Sweet, I'm…I'm so sorry…I didn't…I didn't mean for this to happen."

A tear or two came down his face as he smiled.

He patted the hand I had on the table and said, "It's okay."

Looking into Darry's eyes I saw the sincerity of his words. It's not that I didn't believe him; it was just that I needed something to back me up. I needed something to tell me he wasn't just saying it to make me feel better.

And soon I was pushed to my side, Darry's plastic cup crashing to the ground and an angry voice screaming at him.

"I thought you were dead!" I recognized the voice, "You fucking bastard!"

"I thought you were dead!" Darry screamed. I turned to see who was attacking him, "Why do you always have to run off like that?"

"Don't ever make me think you died again!" Ponyboy was shaking his older brother, Darry's hand firmly on Pony's shoulder.

"Don't ever leave again like that," Darry's voice was calmer than before, "and you've got a deal."

Pony's eyes were watery as he stopped shaking his brother. He wiped away his tears and said weakly, "I can't lose both of you…"

Darry looked sadly at Pony for a moment, and then used his arms to pull him into a hug. He cried onto Darry's shoulder, Darry doing the same to Pony.

I didn't mean to watch, but it was so heartwarming. It was the first truly soothing event I had seen in a while. It was the first time I could simply observe some form of love without flinching or feeling dirty.

They took their time for separating, and once they did the two of them chuckled, Pony doing a double take when he saw me.

He scratched the back of his head, "Um…Sorry that I-"

"I'm glad you're back, Pony." I stopped him.

He smiled, "Glad to be."

We had a quick hug, nice and sweet, and once it was over the phone rang, Darry answering it.

"Hello?" he asked, Pony sitting down on the bed and me still standing, "Hey, Evie…Uh-huh…Oh, that's wonderful…No, I understand. It's okay, really…Okay…Tell Steve and Kim I said 'goodbye', okay? All right…Okay, by the way, Pony's back…I know…won't be the last time…Okay, bye, Evie…Bye."

"What's goin' on?" Pony asked once Darry hung up the phone.

"Their house has been fixed," Darry picked up another cup, "and they're heading back to Alabama ASAP."

I felt my heart stop.

No. I thought to myself. I cannot let Steve go without talking to him. This has got to be finished. This has got to.

"Glad you're better, Darry," I patted Pony's back, "and I'm glad you're back, Ponyboy."

He nodded and I made my way out the room, out the hospital, and gingerly made it into my car.

Steve Randle wasn't getting away that easily.