Guys, I am so fucking sorry this update took so long. I've had a lot of things going on (flew to Georgia, drove back up to Michigan, hanging out with friends, etc.) and my mental state hasn't been great for writing (especially this story; long explanation there). This chapter was originally going to contain smut but it's being pushed back to the next chapter which works out a little better since the original chapter 16 was a little lacking in the plot department and now some original chapter 15 points are being pushed to 16 so... Anyway.

Also, a user named CastielsBlackWings is translating "Struck by You" into German! I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS, OKAY? THIS WILL BE THE FIRST TIME ANYONE'S FELT THE NEED TO TRANSLATE ANY OF MY FICS! *quietly squees in the corner*

Many thanks to aLoggedInReader, Sexy. Lil. Emo, HellsTheTwerd, alias093001, EllaMichelle, kb18142, Kathrin J Pearl, Keefer, BookwormI, Macbeth's Mistress, and a guest named Chloe for your reviews to last chapter, and thanks again for all your patience!

For those of you reading "Blue Archangel," I hope to have that update written in the next few days, but I return to San Diego on the first, so it may be January before it gets finished and posted.

In the following three days that it took for Gabriel to finally be discharged from the hospital, Sam raced through Hammer of the Gods. Lu had been right. He'd been hooked from the beginning, and the plot dragged him along like a fish on a lure. The main difference between him and the metaphorical fish was that the fish was heading toward inevitable doom and he was just being reeled toward whatever surprise twist ending Lu had hinted at.

But the final chapter held no unduly shocking revelation, certainly nothing warranting the devious smirk the strawberry blonde had given him. Sam frowned at the final page of text before flipping the last few pages of the book.

What the…? On the very last page was a smiling black-and-white photograph of someone distinctly familiar. He was looking off toward the left side of the picture, laughter on his face. Even though the picture was grayscale, those eyes still looked bright and golden.

It was Gabriel. A little younger-looking, perhaps, or maybe the original had been retouched, but it was definitely him. Sam felt his heart give a little lurch. Oh.

Maybe that explained how what he wrote had such a captivating quality. Looking back, maybe it should have been obvious—Gabriel had said he was an author, after all, and Lu had been unnecessarily amused when he saw the book—but it hadn't connected.

Sam couldn't help smiling slightly. He started reading the "About the Author" section, but suddenly his face fell.

L.K. Norse lives in New York City with his girlfriend. This is his first novel.

His girlfriend? His gut twisted unpleasantly. Well. This wasn't quite how he wanted to find out about that. Although it seemed like maybe, whoever she was, she wasn't in the picture anymore (he hadn't seen her or even heard her mentioned, and he figured at least Dean would warn him about something like that), he wondered what the deal was. The book was fairly recent. If they had broken up, it couldn't have been long ago.

He didn't know what to think. After all, it was bound to be awkward to discover that the guy you'd slept with a week and a half before had a girlfriend or a very recent ex-girlfriend. What was he supposed to do with that information?

The next time he saw Gabriel at the hospital, shortly before he was discharged, he found himself looking at the golden-haired man differently. This guy laid up in a hospital bed from a suicide attempt was the same person who'd written Hammer of the Gods, the same person who'd had him laughing more in twenty minutes than he normally did in a week. It seemed impossible, and Gabriel somehow sensed the shift, however slight, in Sam's attitude.

"What's up?" he asked softly, and Sam was suddenly relieved that Castiel had ducked out for coffee.

"I read your book," Sam said. He swallowed. "I mean, when I picked it up, I didn't know it was yours. I didn't know until the end, actually."

Gabriel seemed to blush a bit, but it must have been Sam's imagination because it was gone as quickly as it came. "Wow, was it that bad?" he joked, incorrectly interpreting Sam's hesitation.

"No," he said quickly, "it wasn't bad at all. Actually, I loved it."

Gabriel grinned. "Okay, then what's the problem?"

Sam chewed on the inside of his cheek for a moment. "Just…" He struggled for the words. There was really no easy way to talk about this. He finally half-asked, "Your girlfriend?"

The author's face fell. "Kali dumped me."

More questions bubbled up in Sam's head—When? Why? Is he okay? Obviously not, how stupid—and he tried to decide what to ask and how to ask it. He was caught between burning curiosity and not wanting to push Gabriel if he didn't want to volunteer any more information.

"You can ask," he said.

Sam smiled nervously. "Is that why you… ended up here?"

Gabriel sighed. "Yes and no." He ran his hand through his hair. "It was… Well, she broke up with me about three weeks ago. I was doing okay with it, all things considered." He glanced up to meet Sam's gaze. "She left me on our three-year anniversary, which she'd forgotten about anyway. I, um, I was actually doing fairly well with all that. I mean, it really sucked, but all things considered, I was okay. For a little while, anyway."

Sam waited a beat. When it seemed like Gabriel wasn't going to continue, he asked, "So what happened?"

There was definitely something sad behind those golden eyes. "That morning we had, well, what should have been a date—sorry about that, by the way," he added quickly, "I found out that, um, she was engaged."

Sam blinked. "Your ex?"

"Yeah. To some guy she'd been dating for two years."

"But how—?" Then it clicked. "Oh. Oh, wow."

"Yeah. I reacted badly. I know I fucked up a lot, but…" Gabriel was staring down at the blanket, and there was a faint tremor in his voice. "I didn't know what else to do. I'm a fucking mess, Sammy. I never intended to get you involved in this train wreck and I'm sorry for it."

Sam's chest tightened. Gabriel somehow blamed himself for everything. He was the one making apologies. That was the most fucked-up aspect of this situation. The suicide attempt was a close second, but Sam wasn't the one to whom he should have been apologizing. "No, Gabe. You didn't ask for any of this. Honestly, you're right—you definitely reacted badly—but you don't have to apologize to me. And you like me, at least a little, or else you wouldn't have addressed that note to me—"

"You found that?"

Sam blinked. "Yeah. I found you. You didn't know that?"

Gabriel shook his head. "I kind of thought it was Cas."

"No, it was me."

"Sorry," he murmured.

"Gabe, please stop apologizing to me, okay? I'm glad I found you. If I didn't, you might not have survived. And like I said, I'm guessing you like me a bit, so… I guess, if you need anything from me, let me know."

The writer appeared to think for a few moments. "Can I just… explain this? Yeah, okay? I like you. But this whole situation is incredibly fucked right now. I just want you to know that what happened… it didn't feel like a rebound to me, and I'm really hoping that that's not what it felt like to you. I mean, that that's what I thought."

Sam waited a beat. "I get that. And it's okay. And it's not what I thought at all. But I think that you're going through a lot of crap right now and maybe you should be concentrating more on yourself and less on me, okay?"

Gabriel was quiet for a minute before nodding. "Yeah. Yeah, you're probably right." He flashed Sam a quick, shaky smile. "Thanks."

Gabriel went home early the next day. When he got back to the apartment, he expected to see a thin coat of dust on every flat surface and a general mess in the living room, but that wasn't the case. For one thing, everything was perfectly clean, save a few wood splinters near the front door. For another, the door was completely different. He didn't know how, but it was definitely different.

That probably explained the new key that had been waiting for him in the lobby when he got in. Gabriel had insisted on going back in himself, shaking off Castiel at the main entrance. It was strange to finally walk in, feeling dozens of pairs of eyes on him only to look around and only see about four people, none of whom were looking at him.

He paced his apartment for about an hour, not really sure what he should be doing, before his stomach gave a loud rumble. Ordinarily, at lunchtime on a Tuesday, he'd make pancakes, but he wasn't feeling up to what would inevitably be a huge production just for a fifteen-minute meal, so he made a sandwich. After he ate, he stared down his laptop for nearly another hour. Realizing he probably wasn't going to get any writing done today, he welcomed the distraction of Castiel's phone call.

"How are you doing?" Castiel asked the moment Gabriel answered.

"Um. It's weird here. Quiet." He had grown used to the steady beeping from various machines and people around him and nurses and doctors popping in nearly hourly. Being completely on his own again was jarring. He inexplicably wanted to spend time with Sam, but the younger Winchester had to work.

For the first time, Gabriel wished he couldn't just work from home.

"Hey, quick question. What exactly happened to my door? I came in the building and there was a new key waiting for me and my front door is different."

"Yes. Well, it was broken down."

He didn't know what to make of this information. "The medics broke it down?"

"No. It was Sam. He… he was the one who found you, remember?"

"Oh." He remembered, but the ramifications of that fact hadn't occurred to him until now. "Yeah, I remember." That would certainly explain how Sam knew about the note. It also meant that he'd been the one to call 911. He'd been panicked and frightened, and Gabriel had put him through that. It was a bitter revelation.

"Gabriel, stop."

"Stop what?" He was unaware of having said anything.

"I know what you're thinking. Any of us would have been horrified to discover what happened. Honestly, I think Sam might have been the best-prepared of any of us to deal with it. He's a police officer. He knows how to suppress the panic reaction."

Gabriel chuckled nervously. "You think you would have flipped out if you'd found me?"

"Yes. I believe I would have completely broken down and not thought to call an ambulance until later. Which is why I'm a journalist, not a cop."

"Thanks. I think. Wait, no, that actually sucks."

"I agree. Which is why I meant what I said about Sam. I know it's different when it's someone you know, but he kept his head better than anyone else would have."

"Yeah. I just wish it hadn't happened, that's all." His hospital stay had given him a bit of clarity and, honestly, he felt like an idiot for his childish response. Now he was just trying to focus on getting his life back together and maybe starting over with Sam.

"I have to agree with that sentiment. We all do."

Gabriel ran his fingers through his hair. "Thanks. For everything, I mean. I guess I was a bit selfish, huh?"

"Well, think of it this way. If you'd actually died, who would have finished the Gods series?"

Gabriel pulled a face and laughed mockingly. "Very funny, asshat."

"Speaking of which, how are things with Thunder of the Gods?"

"Not good. Haven't written a damn thing since I got back. But it's still early," he added quickly. "I mean, I just got home a few hours ago."

"True. It will probably be some time before you're able to get back to your routine."

"Yeah."

"So when is your first appointment with your therapist?"

The blonde shuddered. "Friday. Not sure how I feel about it."

"Save it for the therapist," Castiel joked, and Gabriel raised an eyebrow even though he knew his friend couldn't see him.

"That was a really bad joke."

"My apologies. I realize my humor can be a bit dark."

"No, dark humor is fine. That was just terrible, that's all."

Castiel just laughed.

Gabriel finally ended up re-watching Arrested Development on Netflix for the rest of the day, which was time well-spent (in his opinion). He made himself about four bowls of Easy Mac for dinner and answered the occasional text from Castiel or Lu or Roché and one from Sam. He promised Roché he'd stop by the office the next day and attempted to decline Lu's invitation for free drinks on Saturday night if he dropped by Perdition. He wouldn't give a definite "no" yet because it was only Tuesday and by Saturday, he just might need an excuse to get out of the apartment, but he'd want someone to go with him as well (someone besides a bartender).

As soon as Sam was off work at nine-thirty, Gabriel's thumb hovered over the call button to his cell. Fifteen minutes later, he finally gathered his courage and made the call.

"Hey, Gabe, what's going on?"

Already he was feeling like a fool, although he wasn't sure why. "Not a whole lot. Just Netflix and Easy Mac. You?"

"Just got off work, so I'm going home to sleep for like sixteen hours. Hey, how was your first day back?"

He bit his lip. "Uneventful. I'm gonna go see Roché tomorrow, I guess. I'm still not quite sure how I got roped into that," he added with a quick laugh.

Sam laughed too, but whether it was from genuine amusement or just in response to Gabriel's, the writer couldn't be sure. "Doesn't sound like it'll be so bad. He's probably just worried about you."

"That, I don't doubt."

"We all are," Sam added quietly.

"Hey, I'm okay. Now. Sort of. I mean, I'll be fine."

The younger Winchester took a moment to respond. "Yeah, I think so, too." Gabriel imagined he could hear the smile in his voice. "Look, if you ever need to get out of the apartment, just give me a call, and if I'm not at work, I'll come up with something, okay?"

"Is that a real offer, or are you just being polite?" Gabriel couldn't help the light teasing, but there was a note of genuine curiosity behind the question.

Sam laughed again. "No, that's a real offer, Gabe. I want to do what I can to help you out. Whatever you need me for, I'm here."

Wow. Castiel had basically said as much to him, as had Lu. They'd known him for years, though. Sam had only known him for a few weeks and they'd had sex once and his older brother happened to be dating one of Gabriel's best friends, but he was still just as anxious to see him return to normal, to get back on track. He wished he'd realized earlier how amazing his friends were. He'd been stupid. "Thanks, Sammy. I appreciate that."

"It's nothing."

"It's not nothing. And I'll probably take you up on that offer before the week is over."

"Good. I mean, you know, at least you're planning on getting out at some point," Sam said quickly.

"Yeah. Well, look, I'll let you get back to getting home, but I'll probably talk to you tomorrow, okay?"

"Sure. I have the afternoon shift so if you call in the morning and I don't answer, it's because I'm asleep."

"Yeah, not a problem. Bye."

"Yeah, bye."

As soon as Sam hung up, he nearly smacked his forehead. Gabriel had called him, which made his heart swell unnecessarily, but he'd had to remind himself several times that he was trying to keep things platonic for the time being. Right now, it was more important that Gabriel get back on with writing and healing after Kali.

And if, after all that, Gabriel decided he still wanted to try this thing with Sam, he'd be right there.

I've been watching Arrested Development on Netflix. It's amazing and I discovered the sources of two gifs. It makes me happy.